Selling Pastries [Silly One Shot]

>Day 300 in Equestria

>You got a job at Donut Joe's bakery.
>And hopefully, nothing bad will happen to ruin your first day.
>You don't know why, but the mares around town started to act strangely recently.
>When you asked about it, the only answer you got was that it's 'this time of the year' again.
>Fucking crazy ponies.
>Speaking of crazy pony, here comes your first customer.
>An orange mare with a Stetson hat.
>"Howdy partner!"
"Hello Miss, what can I do for you today?"
>"Ah think ah'll take an apple strudel to go."
"Right away."
>You turn around a grab the strudel.
>"Ah didn't know Joe was hiring."
"Excuse me?"
>"Joe, he usually runs this place all alone. I'm just surprised to see someone else work here."
"Yeah, Joe said he needed a week of vacation, so he hired me to replace him temporarily."
>You put the strudel in a bag and drop it on the counter.
"That'll be three bits."
>She drops the coins in your hand, then looks you up and down.
>"Well, you look like could handle some good, hard, physical work."
>She puts a certain emphasis on 'physical work' that makes you uncomfortable.
>"If ya want a job, come to Ponyville's orchard and ask for Applejack."
"I'll be sure to make it worth your time."
"I- uh- I'll think about it."
>"Don't make me wait Sugarcube."
>And with that, she leaves the store, strudel in mouth.
>See? That's what you meant. Since yesterday, all the mares you saw were acting flirty around you.
>It's insufferable.



>Alright, second customer.
>Yellow coat, pink mane, kinda cute and, hopefully, sane.
"Hello Miss, what can I get for you?"
>"Ummm..."
>"I'll take..."
>"No... Maybe I could..."
>Oh god, it's one of THOSE customers.
>"Is that...?"
>"Oh! That looks pretty good!"
>Fucking finally.
>"Hmmm... no, I'd rather not..."
>God dammit.
>You really don't want to spend all day on this.
"Excuse me, Miss? Can I suggest something?"
>"N-no, I can do this..."
>You swear to god, if she doesn't finish at least one sentence in the next 15 seconds, you'll throw her out the fucking window.
>3 minutes later, she's still going on with her ellipsises.
>You think you might have crushed the bridge of your nose between your thumb and your index.
>"Excuse me, Sir?
>Did whatever god that rules this world finally answers your prayer?
"Yes?"
>"Is indecisive customers your fetish?"
>What?
"No?"
>"Oh... I'll take a bear claw, then."
>You will not kill the customers. You will not kill the customers. You will not kill the customers.
>You force a smile.
"Sure. Three bits, please."
>She pays you, grabs her pastry and flutters out.



>The doorchime rings as another customer enters.
>Before you can get a good look at her, she's rushed up to the counter.
>"Hi hi!"
>Startled, you collect yourself.
"Hey there, what can I get ya?"
>Full-on pink mare.
>Pink coat, pink hair.
>You're pretty sure if her words were visible, they would be pink.
>"I'll take a dozen donuts, aaaaaand a bag of cream puffs, aaaaaand a cherry pie!"
>Quite a bit.
"You got it! Getting ready for a party?"
>She snickers.
>"Silly, you should ALWAYS be ready for a party! But this is my lunch."
>...
>You slide open the plate glass, revealing the delicious treats.
"Okay, one dozen donuts."
>"Oh, can you make sure they are glaaaazed?"
"Of course!"
>As you bend over, reaching into the cabinet, you can see her staring.
>"Goodie goodie! I always love a good coating of glaze~"
>Ignore the obvious innuendo.
>Ignore it.
>You place the box on top of the counter, and reach into the cabinet for her second item.
"One bag of cream puffs..."
>"Mmmm..."
>You see her licking her lips as you grab the pastry.
>She isn't looking at the puffs.
>Upright once more, you hold out the bag.
>"I love when my puff's full of cream..."
>She grabs the pastries.
>"...especially if it's whipped~"
>God damn mare.
>Alright, one last treat.
"And finally, one cherry pie!"
>You grab the pie, and close the plate glass slider.
>The pink mare's eyes look at you deeply.
>Those are bedroom eyes, for certain...
>You notice them long enough to lose focus.
>The pie falls out of your grip, which ends up splattering against the counter.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry!"
>Lightly giggling, she looks down to the mess.
>"Mister, you broke my cherry!"
>Looking back at you, those bedroom eyes are back.
>"But it's okay, as long as it's you~"
>That's enough of that.
>Let's get this over with as fast as possible.
>You quickly retrieve a new pie and gives it to her.
"7 bits, the pie's free."
>"Thanks, you're such a sweetie!"
>She slowly brings the payment to the counter, never breaking eye contact.
>Oh come on! Just pay and leave, ya crazy dame!
>She, thankfully, leaves without making the situation even more uncomfortable.
>You sink your head in your hands.
"Why did I accept this job..."



>You once again hear the jingle caused by someone entering the bakery.
>Lifting your head from your hands, you can see that it's another mare. White coat and stylish purple mane.
>Great.
"Hello Miss, how can I help you today?"
>"A simple Mille-Feuille will do."
>What the fuck is a 'Mille-Feuille'?
>Good thing Joe left you a scroll with common 'Fancy to Equestrian' translations.
>Let's see, she wants a... Vanilla Slice.
>You sigh. Silly fancy ponies and their silly fancy terms.
>"You know, you like quite dashing in that outfit."
>Yeah, a stain covered apron over some work clothes.
>Dapper as fuck.
>"But you know what would look better on you Darling?"
>"A tuxedo. You see, I've recently received a large order from minotaurs and I would need more experience with the bipedal body type."
>You start packing her order.
"Sorry Miss, I don't thi-"
>"There's some bits in it for you, if you accept to model for me."
>Bits?
"When and where?"
>"Splendid! You'll just have to come over my temporary residence in Canterlot tonight."
>"We'll get you out of those silly garments and take some measurement."
>Her eyes trail down a little as she ends her sentence.
>You're pretty sure it's not your waist she wants to 'measure'.
>You roll your eyes.
"I'll see if I'm free."
>You won't be.
"Here's your order, that'll be 4 bits."
>She floats the bits to you and leaves with her pastry.
>You're pretty sure you could see her bite her lips as she turned around.