Apple Drivel

>Walking with an ambling gait through the market with no particular purpose, you stare aimlessly at the blue sky above.
>It's another lovely day, courtesy of Princess what's her face.
>The one with the sun.
>There's not much going on, and the boredom eventually brought you to the conclusion of a walks about.
>And what better place to wander with nothing on your mind than here?
>You really do love the market place, all the smells of fresh produce and fresher baked goods.
>The distinctive chatter of the haggling pones as they shop for their wares, and the sales pitches of those attempting to coerce them.
>Just a nice atmosphere, ya know?
>"Come on down, pardners! Get yer Sweet Apple Acres apples, finest apples this side a' anywhere!"
>Your gaze is drawn back down to earth at that accent which reminds you so much of your home state.
>It rings out over the crowd with a strength and spirit that speaks of her indomitable will.
>She isn't some flighty southern belle who was pampered and lived in decadence, but a hardworking pone forged in heat and labor.
>All the bearings of a real woman, and you respect that.
>Her deep green eyes that remind you of summer leaves lock with your own as she smiles at you.
>Not in a way that ushers you over to buy from her, but a friendly and inviting grin that you're sure she gives to everyone.
>And above that smile are some of the most adorable freckles you've ever seen.
>How would freckles show up on a pones coat?
>You don't even care, it's just that cute.
"!"

>Seeing as you're a dumbass who prefers to speculate about freckles on pones rather than pay attention to where you're walking, you trip over a produce stand in short order.
>Even over the din of the busy market, you hear that throaty southern chuckle.
>Quickly jumping to your feet with what you're sure is a furiously blushing face, you clear your throat and slide a hand backwards through your hair.
>Smooth.
"S-sorry about that."
>You apologize to the poor mare whose carrot stand you just did a flip over, but she doesn't look like she's holding any grudges.
>"It's alright, just try to be more careful."
>Glancing back up towards the sky, you casually make your way over to the apple stand with a nonchalant look.
>"Ya alright there, Sugarcube? That was quite the tumble ya took!"
>Looking back down as if noticing her for the first time, you crack a wry grin.
"Heh, yeah, I uh... Meant to do that."
>The expression on her own face shows a hint of genuine concern, but it's mostly just amusement at your antics.
>"Ah'm sure as shootin'...~"
>Picking up an apple, you toss it up and down lazily.
"Alright, well maybe not. Your shouting caught my attention."
>She raises an eyebrow in challenge, and her nostrils flare for a moment even as her smile grows wider.
>"Well now, that's what it's supposed ta do. Ya sayin' it was my fault?"
>Alright, Anon, here's your chance to blow this out of the water.

"No, but can you blame me? You're awfully cute. Just couldn't look away."
>Fucking nailed it, you stud.
>A rosy color comes to her cheeks as she glances away for the first time, her smile turning a tad pained.
>"...Shucks, Ah ain't cute..."
>One hoof comes up to play with her ponytail as she nervously looks at anything but your face.
>Really?
>You wouldn't take her as one for having self esteem issues, she shows up alot of the other mares around with her looks.
"You're kidding. Yer the cutest thing this side a' anywhere."
>Not to mention probably being able to whoop their asses should the need arise, you'd love to see someone try to tease her.
>As she apparently took your comment as being.
>In a flash, her abashed face turns huffy as she glares up at you, but doesn't lose a hint of redness.
>"Ya pokin' fun at the way ah talk?"
>If anything, she's blushing more now that there's anger shining in those green eyes.
"Heh, no... I like it alot, it reminds me of home."
>There's still a hint of wary suspicion in her gaze, but she lightens up once more.
>"Home, huh? Where ya from, anyhow?"
>And so you whittled away the day getting to know Applejack.
>Totally better than walking around with nowhere to go, staring up at the sky, and tripping over shit.

>Several weeks pass, and you've come to enjoy her company more with each passing day.
>Instead of wandering the town without purpose, you'd head on over to AJ's stall to chat.
>She thought you were messing with her for the first few visits, feigning interest in order to gain something.
>Truthfully, you can't blame her.
>You did lay on the compliments a little thick, but only because each one was true.
>And that bright smile and blush you got in return just drove you on.
>It would be easy to flatter her to bits every day for eternity, as long as you got to see that smile.
>"Why're ya dotin' on me so much? Ah'm sure that flattery a' yers'd be able t' tie up any mare ya wanted."
>Standing beside her cart as usual and watching the surge of pones pass, you turn to her with a playful smirk.
"Workin' on it."
>Seeing her face light up as she lowers her gaze to hide the blush beneath the rim of her Stetson, you can't help but chuckle.
>"Ah'm nothin special... There're plenty a' prettier gals that ah can see from where Ah'm standin."
>You just can't understand why she gets so down on herself.
>Maybe it's just some small details that your eye can't catch as a member of a different species, but you don't see it.
"Only because there aren't any mirrors around."

>She looks at the ground almost sadly, before taking a deep breath as if she were preparing for something.
>"Anon, yer awful sweet to a plain ol' pone like me, an' Ah'll never understand it..."
>Shit, are you getting dumped before you even had a first date?
>"But ifin ya reckon Ah'm good enough..."
>Interrupting her with the flick of a thumb on the brim of her hat, you push it back so that she can see just how sure you are.
>"Ehr, would ya..."
>Her fiery blush covers a face of uncertainty, but she plants her hooves and looks at you with a serious gaze.
>"Care t' come over fer dinner t'night n' meet mah family...?"
>Glancing upwards and pretending to think about it, you hear her hooves shuffling nervously against the ground.
>"Ah mean, Ah understa-"
"I'd love to."
>Lowering your gaze once more, you smile down at her sincerely.
>Her face is stuck in shock for a moment, but gives way to the happiest expression you've seen on her yet.
>With red cheeks and a warm smile, she looks away from you and nods gently.
>And so here you are a few hours later.
>Walking through the gate of the Apple family farmstead, you do a final check to make sure everything's in order.

"Hair?"
>Patting down any stray strands, you nod.
>Check.
"Breath?"
>A lick to the back of your hand and sniff gets another nod.
>So fresh, Colgate could suck your... Tongue?
"Charming smile that instantly makes old people love me?"
>Turning your head to the side a bit, you grin in a way that you're sure was made complete by a tiny sparkle.
>You'd nod again, but a childish giggle below you makes you freeze in place.
>"Yup! But ya know ya didn't have t' dress all fancy."
>Grin still plastered to your face below now startled eyes, you slowly pan your gaze down to the little yellow filly at your feet.
>She grins back at you with a tilted head and an expectant stare.
"What, this? Psssht, nah... This isn't fancy, I wear this... Do you think she'll like it?"
>Letting your limbs droop as she stifles another giggle with a hoof, you nervously check over the slacks and button up shirt for signs of imperfection.
>"Yup, yer adorable! Ah'd lose the tie, though."
>This kid just called YOU adorable.
>Pow, right in the masculinity.

>Removing your tie and tossing it over your shoulder, you proceed to unbutton the top portion of your shirt, and ruffle your hair to remove the comb over look.
>Glancing back down to an approving nod from the filly, you nod back thankfully.
>"Much better! Ah'm Applebloom, Applejacks little sister!"
>Lowering yourself to her level, you pick up her hoof for a shake.
"Anon, Applejacks, uh..."
>"Special somepone...~?
>She bats her eyelashes at you as you nervously scratch the back of your head.
"Heh..."
>Rising to your full height and placing your hands behind your head, you begin to walk towards the main building that serves as a house.
>"Applejack just gushes about ya all the time! She says yer sweeter n' apple pie! And gosh yer tall!"
>The excited filly bounces in a circle around you as you walk, rambling about her sisters apparent infatuation with you.
"Y-yeah? What else does she say about me?"
>Staring at the sky with an uninterested look on your face, you press for more information stealthily.
>"Well, she says yer nicer t' her than any stallion around, that yer real fun t' talk to, n' ya keep her company when she's sellin' in the market, and that yer ears twitch when yer tryin t' look like ya ain't interested, but really are!"

>Stumbling just a few feet from the house, you clear your throat and try to will away the embarrassment from the filly giggling at you once more.
>"Applebloom, are you pesterin' Anon?"
>Looking to the door, you see AJ.
>She's wearing a green and brown dress that compliment her perfectly, and her usually well maintained mane shines with a luster that you've never seem before.
>You look like a hobo compared to her.
>Turning to the foal in horror, you hastily button up your shirt once more and attempt to straighten out your hair.
>"Nope! And Ah told ya ya didn't need t' dress up all fancy, sis! Anon here's got the right idea!"
>She laughs loudly as she gallops underneath her sister and through the door.
>"H-howdy there, Sugarcube!"
>After doing the best you can to spiffy up on short notice, you return the cowpones greeting.
"Hey, AJ. You look..."
>She stands on her porch apprehensively, probably worried about overdressing.
"Really beautiful."
>No need to play subtle or mince words, just the straight forward truth.
>Her beauty grows exponentially as her face glows with joy at your words.
>"Thankya, Anon... Ya look mighty fine yerself."

>Stepping up onto the porch by her side, you stare into each others eyes.
>You can't speak for her, but you're too enraptured by her prettiness to look away.
>"..."
>Until a masculine cough brings your attention to the biggest fucking pone you've ever seen standing behind you.
>Like Xbox huge.
>As tall as an Alicorn with none of the lithe grace, but muscle and raw power in it's place.
>And he's staring you down.
>Awkward silence reigns until Applejack clears it with an introduction.
>"Anon, this here's mah brother, Big Macintosh. Big Mac, Anon."
>He doesn't speak, only nods to you slowly.
"H-hey..."
>Silence once more, his eyes staring deep into your soul with no emotion.
"Y-ya know... Big Mac's the name of a sandwich where I'm from... Probably don't have it here... Because meat..."
>"..."
>Oh god, he's going to kill you.
>"Well, let's head on in! Supper should be just about ready, and Granny'd sure like t' meet ya."
>Nodding to her, you make your way inside, but keep your gaze locked onto the behemoth as you walk.
>Expressionless face, unblinking eyes...
>This horse is a serial killer.
>You're going to be swinging from a hook in the barn by nights end, you just know it.

>You shiver as you pass through the door and your line of sight breaks.
"AJ, I love you. In case I don't get another chance to say it."
>She nearly trips as her head whips around to face you.
>Gaping at you slackjawed as her face practically ignites, you simply walk past her into the kitchen.
>"Howdy, sonny! You must be that whippersnapper what's got my Applejack in such a tizzy."
>An elderly green mare stands by the stove, stirring a pot of what you assume to be dinner as she smiles over to you.
"Yes, ma'm. It's a pleasure to meet you, my names Anon."
>Applebloom sits at the table and waves to you with one hoof, as the other pats the seat next to her.
>"Weeell, ain't you just polite as can be. Grab a seat then, Anon. Soup's almost on."
>Taking the offered chair beside the youngest of the family, you ruffle her mane roughly for making you toss your tie.
>She giggles playfully until the sound is cut off by the chair on your other side being pulled back.
>Turning your gaze and hoping to catch sight of AJ, your face pales as you lock eyes once more with the lifeless green of her brothers.
"I uh... Bathroom?"
>"Well sure sonny, it's upstairs, second door on the left."
>Standing quickly, you stiffly walk through the door back into the main room.
>Applejack still stands with a shocked face in the center of the room.

>You tap her on the hat as you pass on your way up the stairs.
>"Hehwhut?"
>Chuckling on your way up, you quickly locate the door to the bathroom and walk inside.
>After doing your business and washing your hands, you slap your cheeks and grin into the mirror.
"Alright, let's do this. Not gonna get murdered tonight, no siree."
>As if you had tempted murphy, the door gently swings open behind you to reveal the lightless eyes of big mac staring at you in the mirror.
"..."
>Stepping into the bathroom, he leans his muzzle into your hair and takes a long drawn out whiff.
>It's all you can do not to break down sobbing.
>Apparently being satisfied with the scent of your scalp, he turns around and leaves as suddenly as he came.
>He's going to cut off your skin and wear you around like a dress, isn't he?
>Walking back downstairs, you silently return to your seat and avoid looking at the large stallion next to you.
>As the meal is being passed around the table, AJ stares at you concernedly.
>"Are ya alright there, sugarcube? Ya look a little... off."
>Turning to her, you whimper before finding your words.
"I don't want to die."
>Movement stops as the eyes in the room turn to regard you.
>"What'rya goin on about dyin' fer, youngin?"
>Slowly panning your gaze towards the silent giant, you shake as you word your concerns.

"Please don't kill me..."
>The silence persists for what feels like an eternity, before the room erupts into laughter.
>"Now why in the hay would mah brother go an' kill ya?"
>The stallion doesn't laugh, or speak, but he does look a tad hurt.
>"Yeah, Mac's just about the most gentle soul anywhere round these parts."
>Oh thank god, it seems that you made a mistake.
>Or their all in on it.
>Laughing yourself now at the awkward situation, you spoon food onto your plate.
"Good... Good... He just seemed really intense for some reason."
>"Well that's because he's a homo-whatsit."
>The laughter continues in the room, but yours comes to an abrupt end as the stallion at your side licks his lips while looking at you.
>"Eeeeyup..."
>It was a lovely evening, despite what you came to find were the lecherous stares of the red stallion.
>You bonded with the family, and the night came to a picturesque, fairy tale conclusion.
>A kiss on the cheek from your country marefriend before you headed out had you on top of the world.
>But Mac followed you.
>He caught up with you on the dusty stretch of road into town, and showed you why they call him Big.
>"A sandwhich, huh? Well, I got some meat fer a pretty thing like you... Squeal fer me."
>You wish you could say that you fought the good fight, and Mac let you be.
>You wish you could say that, but Equestria is no fairy tale world.