FoE PNP Group 4 Session 52

<uSeaGM> **Fallout Equestria Group 4 Session 52**
<uSeaGM> Our party have spent the morning haggling for wares (and in some cases getting dismissed for being a teenager) and now the sun hangs high overhead in the cloudy sky. The relatively small junk-free area of the Junkyard is bustling with activity and several ponies are out on the mountains of scrap metal looking for anything useful.
<uSeaGM> Realising that he had a very important date with a very important pony, Watch Tower bids a fond farewell to his friends, makes sure that his fancy Rarity-made cloak is presentable, and then teleports away. Things don't go quite as smoothly as he'd hoped... but you'll have to find out about that later.
<uSeaGM> With the dazzling after effects of Watch's spell still in the air, Tick Box (and her clipboard) approaches the group accompanied by a small-framed, khaki-coloured earth pony stallion.
<uSeaGM> Tick Box waves. “Hello again everypony. Since yours is such a large order, we've assigned Whisper here to help you out. He's escorted several caravans before, and the other caravanners say he's so quiet they hardly know he's there, so I'm sure he'll be no trouble!”
* Whisper says softly, "Hello".
* Jasmine looks over at Whisper and giggles in excitement. "A new member? That means Im your senior! And that means you get to be my sidekick!" Jasmine scoots up beside Whisper and wraps her arm around the stallions neck and messes up his mane with a traditional gryphon greeting. That is.... a noogie.
* Whisper stammers, "Umm...great".
* Artifica looks at the new companion and smiles.  The coral-coated mare with the neopolitan mane gives a friendly wave.
* Whisper gives a small smile and waves back.
* Milia trots around Whisper, looking him up and down thoroughly. "Hmmmm...well...you're smaller than our last stallion...and so far you giggle a lot less...but, I suppose you deserve a fair shot just like anyone else...tell me, Whisper, how do you feel about robots?"
<Whisper> "Oh, they're fascinating! Never had much chance to work around them, though."
* Milia nods thoughtfully. "Mmm-hmm...mm-hmm...good, good...now, tell me, do you or do you NOT want to have sex with them?" she blurts out.
* Jasmine lets Whisper out of her deathlock and clasps her talons together, rubbing them in contemplation. "Yes, yes this will be great! You'll need a flashy outfit of course, to compliment your status as sidekick..." She puts a talon up to her chin in thought. "Hmm... red yellow and green, maybe?"
* Whisper is stunned for a minute. "Uhh...I...don't want to?" He says haltingly.
* Artifica stifles laughter.
* Whisper turns to Jasmine. "Loud colors aren't really my thing. I don't do so well with attention..." He glances down at the ground.
* Milia rounds back in front of Whisper and narrows her gaze at him, as if she's trying to extract some incomprehensible detail from the act. "Well...okay..." She mutters, then shooting a grin over to Artifica. "Thought it mighta been a stallion thing...does he get your seal of approval? Jas seems to have taken a shine to him already."
<Jasmine> "Oh, are you more the mysterious brooding type?" She asks, scratching her chin. "Well then! Hmm.. how about a nice dark purple, or perhaps black? Oh! And you need a mask too! Preferrably one that coveres -just- the eyes... Tell me, can you make your pupils dissapear at will? This is important!"
* Whisper gives Jasmine a bewildered look. "No, I can't disappear my pupils. You realize this is the wasteland and not a Mare-Do-Well comic, right?"
* Milia chimes in. "Yeah, she's batshit crazy, by the way. You'll get used to it."
* Milia mutters under her breath, adding "I think..."
* Milia still wasn't sure /she'd/ get used to it, after all.
* Whisper gives Milia a worried look.
* Jasmine snaps her talons in dissapointment. "Darn!" she said, before shrugging. "Oh well, I guess we'll just have to settle with you being a boring old regular sidekick instead of one that inspires fear in the heart of villains!"
* Whisper shrugs. "Fine by me. I work best when no one's watching."
* Artifica watches a moment longer, then nods.   "Application accepted."
* Whisper gives a smile. "Yay." Then adds under his breath, "I think".
* Milia lets out a small woop, doing a hoof pump. "Perfect! Welcome to the team, Whisper. Do your best, and try not to get your head blown off!"
* Milia is putting her speech skill to good use.
* Whisper mutters, "Been doing that since Tenpony..."
* Artifica notes, "Still, you technically have to pass muster with our fearless leader.  But she's not around at the moment.  And I'm sure with all of us vouching for you, that will be a breeze."
<Jasmine> "Ah, yes! The test! Be careful, she is a worthy opponent!" She pipes up. "Despite her size, she was really close to taking me down! But I shook her off! And I won! And now Im apart of the team!"
* Whisper looks nervous. <gulp>
* Whisper faintly, "Wait, there's a test? Like, single combat?"
* Jasmine bursts out into laughter. "Yup! And you shoulda seen my fight with her! Nearly trashed the whole shopping area!"
* Milia has a bit of a perplexed look on her face, not quite sure how to explain the...uh...test. "It's...somethin' like that, anyways..."
* Milia shoots Jasmine a glare. "Yeah, and nearly lost us all our caps, too!"
<Jasmine> "Hey! I offered him some food!"
<Milia> "That wasn't food, that was road-kill!"
* Whisper is wide-eyed. "So...is this leader a...uh...pegasus? Unicorn? Or really big?"
* Artifica pauses... "Well..."
<Jasmine> "Its good eats!" She defends.
* Artifica looks around.  "Where is Cerberus anyway?"
* Milia shudders. "Gryphon food...*huagh*..."
* Whisper goes pale. "That's not a pony name..." he sqeaks to himself.
* Artifica trots over and pats Whisper comfortingly.  "You'll be fine."
* Milia looks around. "Oh, uh, Cerberus is...she might be in one of the carts...or...tearing haunch around here somewhere on her mighty steed, doing important knight business. I'm sure she'll catch up eventually."
* Whisper relaxes somewhat. "Oh. Alright then."
<Jasmine> "Yeah! Youll be fine! As long as you have what it takes!"
* Whisper suddenly perks up. "Knight business?"
* Milia trots over to one of the carts and starts on getting herself harnessed to it. She rolls her eyes. "Uh huh, she's the Knight of Flowers, after all."
<uSeaGM> Meanwhile, their fearless leader who is only known as the mighty 'Cerberus' (or sometimes Berry), is curled up taking a fearsome nap in one of their carts. The little filly is very good at sneaking, so no one notices.
* Whisper suddenly looks perplexed.
* Artifica nods.  "Long story."
* Whisper nods. "Okay then. We should probably gear up for the trip, anyway."
* Artifica moves to the other cart, checking for missing Berrys, then hooks herself up.
* Whisper checks his packs one more time.
<uSeaGM> Tickbox reappears. "Whisper!" she says far too loudly, "We still have to discuss your payment. Metal Jacket has something here that might take your fancy." She leads the way to the weapon stall and waits for Whisper to catch up.
* Whisper jumps at hearing his name shouted before wordlessly turning to follow Tickbox.
<Jasmine> "Right!" She looks over at the carts, and pauses for a second. "Ohhh one of THESE things. I got this, I got this!" She exclaims, trying to hook herself up to as many of them as she possible could
* Milia boos and hisses in the weapon stall's direction as she hears that VERY RUDE PONY'S NAME MENTIONED.
<Jasmine> ((possibly*))
* Whisper casts a curios glance back at Milia and begins to wonder what he has gotten himself into.
<Whisper> *curious
<uSeaGM> When Whisper arrives, the old stallion running the stall holds out an Infiltrator rifle for Whisper to check out. " 'heard you were after something a bit longer ranged that was still quiet. This silenced beauty should fit the bill."
* Whisper examines the weapon's condition. "It'll work, but...I'm out of five five six. You have twenty-two SMG on hoof? I've got rounds for that."
<Whisper> *have a
<uSeaGM> He chuckles. "You'll be getting a full STAG magazine of 5.56 with it of course, you can't exactly protect a caravan without bullets now can you? But if you'd rather have the SMG then we can swap 'em out for you."
* Whisper considers for a moment. "In that case, the rifle is fine. Much obliged."
<uSeaGM> Metal Jacket nods and hoofs over the rifle, complete with a magazine of ammo.
* Whisper slings the rifle around his neck, shakes Jacket's hoof, and heads back out to join the caravan.
* Milia glances over at Jasmine. "So, uh, Jas...you ever...decide on a color?"
* Jasmine has all kinds of harnesses and straps from the caravans over her.... possibly even ones that dont even belong to the caravans she is protecting. "Dont worry, I'm good at this. Im good at a lot of other things too, but I used to do this all the time! Just watch!" She then proceeds to attempt to pull the entire set of wagons at once
* Milia rubs her forehead wearily. "Oh, Celestia help me..."
<uSeaGM> Jasmine has managed to attach every limb to one cart or another, much to the ire of the ponies who own those carts...
* Milia shouts, trying to get the hyper gryphon's attention as she hauls off with a bunch of soon to be stolen merchandise. "Jas...Jas!...JAS! Will you just hold on a second?! THOSE DON'T BELONG TO US!"
* Whisper stops and stares at the griffoness hitched to every available cart.
<uSeaGM> The griffin's determination in the face of all odds (not to mention physics) is a sight to behold.
* Jasmine turns to Milia and blinks at her, before turning towards the carts she was pulling, and then back to the owners of said carts, then back to Milia. She cant help but burst out into laughter. "Oh... oops! Sorry!"
* Whisper shakes his head. If he ever makes it back home, he'll have enough stories for every idle conversation for the rest of his life at this rate.
* Artifica stares at Jasmine, non-plussed.
* Milia lets out a whimper as she rushes over to the gryphon cub, thankful she didn't make it more than a couple steps. As she assists in untangling Jasmine from her cart-monster, she shoots an extremely apologetic look to the ponies whose stuff they were about to run off with.
<uSeaGM> One young colt claps his hooves together in applause.
* Whisper walks up to Artifica and quietly says, "Excuse me..."
* Artifica leans close.  "Yes?"
<Whisper> "Do you...uh...know if the area has any advanced medical facilities?"
<Whisper> "I mean, in case of emergency." he quickly adds.
* Jasmine flexes her horrible bird arms, stretching a bit as that particular feat of strength made her slightly sore.... slightly. "Well, I can still pull what carts are ours at least!"
* Artifica sighs and shakes her head.  "I'm afraid we are new to this place.  I do not know what facilities they have."
* Milia lets out a sigh of relief as the mix-up gets cleared up without them getting shot at or run out of town. "Yeah, well, just try to keep those horrible bird hands of yours on stuff that actually belongs to us from now on...'kay?"
* Whisper looks crestfallen and sighs, "Oh, okay."
* Artifica notes, "I do have a little healing magic, should worse come to worse."  She looks over at Jasmine.  "I really hope that won't be necessary."
* Milia peers over at the little pony who appeared to be impressed by Jasmine's feat of strength. "Oh look-" she deadpans. "-your first fan."
* Whisper adds quickly, "Oh, sure, don't worry. I tend to stay hidden. Not getting shot at is the best armour for some of us."
* Jasmine beams at Milias comment, and she was instantly next to the little colt and shaking his hoof with one of her talons. "Jasmine Mistplume! Hero of the wastes! Ill make sure these carts stay safe, dont you worry!"
<uSeaGM> The little colt beams through his gasmask and Jasmine's talon-shake causes the scrap metal in his saddle bags to jiggle jangle.
<Jasmine> "...And if any bad guys try to stop us..." She looks straight into the little colts eyes, and draws a line across her throat with a talon with a very deranged look..... before returning to her normally cheerful demenor. "...Then I'll save the day!" She really did not know how to properly interact with kids.
* Artifica admits, looking at Jasmine.  "She's new."
* Whisper stares dumbfoundedly. "You don't say."
* Milia groans at Jasmine. She bangs a hoof onto the side of one of their carts, hoping to get her attention. "JAS! Come on! We gotta move! Come friggin' actually help me with the carts we /do/ own!"
* Jasmine turns to face Milia and nods with energy. "Right!" She exclaims before returning to the carts, this time hooking herself only to the ones that they owned.
* Whisper gives a furtive glances to one of the carts.
* Milia stops the eager gryphon. "No.-" She states, sternly. The zebra then holds up a hoof which, admittedly, weren't great for visual counting, but this was one of the rare times they would make do. "-You get /one/ cart. ONE. I'll get the other, okay? We're a team, after all, so that means we work together and share the load."
* Jasmine blinks, and pauses a second, before nodding. "Right.. okay. One cart... Only one cart.... one..." She turns to look at the two cards. "... You're sure?"
* Artifica unhooks herself and backs off to let Milia corral Jasmine.  She whispers to Whisper, "I do expect she will make things interesting."
* Whisper whispers back, "Agreed".
* Milia nods. "I'm sure. Seriously, Jas..." she trails off a bit, not quite sure how to approach what she wants to say next. The zebra shoots a sympathetic look to Jasmine. "...you're not back there anymore, okay? You're free now, and you don't have to do everything for everyone."
* Milia watches the gryphon carefully. She wasn't sure the sentiment would even reach the (deranged) gryphon, but she wanted to at least try.
* Artifica stares, then looks to the griffin with new sympathy.
<Jasmine> "Yes! Exactly! Im free! You saved me! And I want to help! You dont have to worry about me!" Jasmine replied, still not even batting an eyelash at the reminder that she had been a slave. "Im not back there anymore, you're right! Everything is good! Everything is better now!"
* Whisper whispers to Artifica, "Back where?"
* Milia shakes her head, shooting an exasperated look to Artifica and Whisper. Still, she was glad the gryphon was at least...stilll...chipper, if unnervingly so. "Yeah...it's better now..." she mutters, repeating Jasmine's exclamation. "Let's get a move on, alright?"
* Artifica whispers to Whisper, "She was captured by slavers."
<Whisper> "Say no more."
* Milia harnesses herself to one of the carts.
* Whisper checks his rifle to make sure it's loaded, and his knife to make sure it's in easy reach.
* Jasmine harnesses herself to the other cart, still radiating a cheeriness that would be infectious, if it wasnt so disconcerting. "So, where were we headed, again?" She asks, with a goofy smile on her face.
<Whisper> "Unless someone changed the job without telling us, Harborage."
* Milia nods at Whisper. "Yup, newbie's got it right. And once we're done with that, we'll see about taking a...*urgh*...boat, across the water. Or a balloon, if they have one."
* Artifica checks the load on her battle saddle.
<Whisper> "Wait, your group is heading on across the water? To where?"
* Artifica frowns.  "Yes, there is that."
* Milia beams a grin to Whisper. "Oh, you know, just a giant megaspell detonation facility, fraught with deadly dangers and filled with ancient, lost technologies that could possibly destroy the entire wasteland if they should fall into the wrong hooves...or claws, as it were..."
* Milia waves a hoof dismissively. "We sorta have a /thing/ with the remnants of Red Eye's forces. A violent thing."
* Whisper gapes. "...all that, huh?" he says weakly.
<Jasmine> "A boat? Ive never been on a boat before! That sounds pretty exciting! Wonder if there'll be any pirates out to steal precious artifacts while we're there, like in my Daring Do book!"
* Milia laughs at Jasmine's comment. "Well...given our track record...it wouldn't surprise me..." a light goes on in Milia's brain, and she perks up. "Oh! Before that, though, since you're now part of the team, too, Whisper..." she shoves her muzzle into her saddlebags, retrieving what looks like a gnarled bat wing on a piece of string.
* Artifica ponders.  "Most probably," she says, nodding sagely.
* Milia unceremoniously tosses the hunk of flesh at the tiny stallion. "Thinkfast!"
* Whisper catches the the object. "Uhh...thanks?" he says, uncertain about this new item.
* Jasmine turns and looks as Milia tosses the batwing towards Whisper. "Hey, whats that? ..... Looks kind of tasty, actually!" She turns back towards Milia "I thought you didnt like that kinda food!"
<Whisper> "So...not to be rude, but...what do I do with it?"
<Jasmine> "You eat it!"
* Milia nickers. "It's not food! I actually...have no idea what happens if you eat one. I /also/ wouldn't recommend finding out, if I were you, missy." she says, staring right at Jasmine.
* Milia looks back at Whisper, grinning. "It's a thing I made. If you put it on, /weird stuff/ happens to your body."
* Milia might be being purposefully vague right now.
* Whisper now regards the object cautiously, as though it might suddenly turn into a spider or something. "Cool? I guess?" he says shakily.
* Milia slumps a bit. "Oh come on, just try it! It's cool, I swear!"
<Jasmine> "Ill try it! Pick me! Me!" She says waving a talon into the air
* Milia shouts out protest, remembering what happened with the LAST winged creature that put one on. "NO!"
* Whisper glances between Milia and the talisman. "Okay, if you insist..." he replies, slowly. He carefully slips the talisman around his neck.
* Milia watches, satisfied, as two leathery bat wings sprout from Whisper's sides. "See? Didn't I tell you? Cool."
* Whisper shrieks in horror as the wings grow, "GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" He begins flailing his new appendages about, unused to controlling them.
* Jasmine 's eyes suddenly go wide in shock. She stops pulling the cart for a bit, and an absolutely terrifying look of excitement crosses her face. "I..... want..... that."
* Milia facehoofs at Whisper's freak-out. "Oh, Goddess, it's like Berry all over again..."
* Milia shoots a look at Jasmine. "You've already /got/ wings, puh-lease!"
* Artifica stares, wide-eyed, for a moment.  Then notes, "Didn't Cerberus have a similar reaction?"
<Jasmine> "BUT THEY ARENT BAT WINGS! THINK OF IT! I COULD BE A BAT THEMED SUPERHERO! LET ME TRY IT PLEAAAASE! MY PARENTS ARE DEAD! DO YOU WANT TO UPSET SOMEONE WITH DEAD PARENTS?"
* Whisper has stopped flailing and not sits covering his eyes face with his hooves, mumbling, "Please stop, please stop, please stop...".
<Whisper> *now
* Milia stares over at Artifica, a pouty look on her face. Between Jasmine's insane rambling and Whisper's blubbering... "...Sweetie...are we the only sane ones left?"
* Artifica flatly nods, "Yes."
* Whisper removes the talisman with trembling hooves and gingerly hoofs it back. "I don't like magic..." he mumbles.
* Milia lumbers over to Artifica and plants a big kiss on her muzzle and cooing to her. "You are a glittering oasis in a desert of batshit."
* Jasmine reaches out for the bat talisman as Whisper tries to hoof it back
* Whisper withdraws as Milia takes the talisman and sits looking shamefaced at his outburst.
<Milia> ((OH LORD that wording argh i hate my vision!  "plants a big kiss on her muzzle, then cooing to her*"))
<uSeaGM> Jasmine has the talisman before anyone even has the time to blink.
* Artifica blinkblinks at the most amusing sentiment and kisses back.
<Jasmine> "Aw yeah! This is going to be so awesome! What am I gonna call myself? Batcatbird? Batgryph? Yeah Batgryph sounds great..." She sounds positively giddy at the thought.
* Milia lets out a giggle as she shares a moment with her marefriend. Unfortunately, that was long enough for a gryphon shaped blur to swoop in and steal the remaining talisman before Milia could even register what had happened.
* Jasmine takes it and places it around her neck. She considered eating it for a second, but it looked like all she needed to do was wear it, and she didnt want to risk NOT getting batwings
* Artifica nods to Jasmine.  "Definitely Batgryph."
* Milia can only watch in horror as Jasmine does EXACTLY WHAT SHE TOLD HER NOT TO DO. "...uh oh."
* Whisper casts a nervous glance at Artifica. So far she's his only new companion that doesn't seem like an overly friendly Hoofcraft monster, and he silently wonders how long that will last.
<uSeaGM> Everyone holds their collective breath... and then it happens, Jasmine grows bat wings in addition to her normal wings, woo! Except... they are quite small and sprout from her butt.
* Whisper tries very, very hard to stifle his laughter. He is only somewhat successful.
* Artifica blinks, then buried her face in Milia's mane.
* Milia 's horror immediately turns to incredidbly giddy amusement. She is not even close to as successful as Whisper is.
* Jasmine blinks. "I feel weird. Do I have batwings? Do I have them? My wings dont FEEL any different.."
* Whisper says through stifled laughs, "Um, look back..."
* Jasmine tries to look behind her but she cant really see her own butt, especially when shes hooked up to the cart. She does however, see her regular old wings with how far she can crane her neck. "Aww maaaan.... stupid things broken!"
<Milia> "T-try...try flapping...*snrrk*...your ass..."
* Whisper keeps chuckling, "Oh no, it works."
* Jasmine blinks at Milia. ".....Wha? Whats that even supposed to mean! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Suddenly, batbutts butwings start to flap. "WHATS GOOOOOING OOO0ON THIS IS WEIRD"
<Jasmine> ((how did that 0 get in there))
* Whisper can't contain himself any longer and collapses, wracked with guffaws.
<uSeaGM> Jasmine's young fan claps again.
* Milia follows suit, letting out loud, maniacal laughter. It's only by virtue of the fact that Artifica's currently using her as embarassment cover that she doesn't fall over as well.
* Milia calls out to Jasmine. "Look on the bright side, Jas! At least being a bat butt is way cooler than being a butterfly butt! You're lucky you didn't steal Watch Tower's!"
* Whisper still suppessing the odd chuckle, Whisper asks, "Shouldn't we start moving? I think the caravan owner won't appreciate us sitting around all day."
* Jasmine takes off the talisman, and tosses it back towards Milia. She was actually starting to join in on the laughter "Where did you guys even get something like this. Its defective!"
* Milia wipes her eyes, letting out a satisfied sigh. "Ahhh...yeah...you're right, newbie. Enough goofing off.." She catches the talisman's string around a hoof, then shoving it back into her saddlebags. "I made it, thank you very much. I /told/ you not to put it on."
* Artifica fishes into her saddlebags and levitates out a mirror for the poor gryphon.
<Jasmine> "Wait, you made it?! Oh you gotta make one for me! One that works right!" She exclaims, too excited to realize she was getting scolded for putting it on in the first place
* Artifica sees the fun is over though and puts it away again.  Instead, she pulls out a brush and starts brushing the last of the tangles from her mane.
* Milia rolls her eyes. "Maybe later, Jas. /If/ you behave." She didn't want to mention that what Jasmine was asking was literally impossible, but hey, anything to get her to calm down a bit.
* Milia then begins to plod along with her cart, beginning the probably-completely-safe-no-danger-at-all journey to Harborage!
* Whisper starts walking alongside Milia.
* Artifica wonders and whispers to Milia, "By any chance do zebras have a recipe for something that's... well... the opposite of Dash?"  She ponders.  "Something thank will slooooow you down and make you calmer?  Maybe called Tank?"
* Milia taps a hoof to her chin. "Hmmm...you know, they just might...I'll see if I can cook something up."
* Whisper stammers, "Uh, I-I'd just like to a-apologize..."
<uSeaGM> The party sets off down the road on the next leg of their adventure!
* Milia raises an eyebrow at Whisper. "...for?"
<Whisper> "Just...you know...freaking out. I know you were trying to be generous. I just...bad experiences with magic."
* Milia barks out a laugh, stopping for a moment to pat the tiny stallion on his back. "Oh, phooey and pSHAW, you're gonna have to try /way/ harder than that to offend me, dude. It's cool."
* Whisper smiles wanly. "Thanks."
* Milia looks at Whisper, quizzically. "Uh...really that bad, huh?"
<uSeaGM> **End of Session for Group 4**