Phone

Phone
By Howly

May 2011
I pull up to the old fast food joint in my shitty old truck, the fan blasting hot desert air. I look around the sunbaked parking lot, but I don’t see Chase’s car, yet. Taking out my phone, I check the time and scan through my messages. He told me he got out for lunch fifteen minutes ago, but it’s twenty minutes later, now. There’s a little pang of worry, mostly because I know how shitty a driver Chase is, but he’s usually late, so I quash that.
I give my pits a quick check. Driving around with a broken AC is fucking torture in this weather, but the antiperspirant seems to be holding up alright. After giving them a quick sniff I recline and put my paws behind my head to air out and maybe catch a quick nap.
Sure, it’s a pain in the ass having to come down here when I’m this tired. Dad's working me to the goddamn bone, and the restaurant is on the opposite side of Payton! But seeing Chase makes it worth it. It isn’t often that we get to have lunch together. The lunch hour being as short as it is only gives us about 20 minutes to really talk.
I’m starting to doze off when I hear a knock on my window. I give a little start and open my eyes, squinting against the desert sun reflecting off a car bumper in front of me. Looking to my left, Chase’s adorable otter face greets me through the window, grinning. All of the bad mood I had earlier evaporates away, as if it were water under this fucking sun, and Chase steps back as I open the door.
“Hey babe,” I say as I step out and pull him into a hug.
“Hey,” he says against my chest, rubbing his nose in like he always did while I run my paws around his back.
“Man, that swim team is really slimming you down.” I pinch his sides appreciatively. He wiggles under my fingers and returns the favor to my own waist.
“And you’re getting squishy.”
“Hey!” I pretend to be offended, giving him a mock growl, letting it vibrate from my chest into his nose. “Wouldn’t be that way if you didn’t keep picking fat factories like this…No more football doesn’t help either.”
“I like it.”
I’m really kind of proud of him right now. He used to be so worried about people seeing us like this, but now he’s hugging me like no one’s around. I decide to go a bit further and give him a quick lick on one of those stubby cute ears and he gives a little shiver and laughs.
“Stooooop. let’s go inside; It’s too hot out here.”
As he turns away from me he lets his thick tail push up against my crotch, shoving my junk up against my body. It actually hurts more than it feels good (he really doesn’t get how strong that thing is) but it gets me going anyway.
After we put in our orders and get our drinks we both sit down at a greasy table, Chase swiping an old fry off his booth.
“You know, I would go to a different restaurant if we had time and I had the money.”
“It’s fine. As long as we’re not doing it every day.” I stretch back, purposefully puffing my chest out so my already tight shirt hugs my body even tighter. It’s not lost on Chase as he gazes at the chest ruff poking out through my shirt, and I’m satisfied as I see a longing look come across his face.
“That’s not fair, Leo. I’ve got another three hours left of school”
“Just showin’ ya what’s waitin’ for ya at home.”
He rolls his eyes before pulling out his phone.
“Hey, no texting. Let’s talk.”
“What do you wanna talk about?” He asks, not putting away his phone.
“Well…,” I toy with the straw in my cup. Is now a good time to bring it up? I always get annoyed when I see people making a scene in restaurants, like it’s the perfect place to tell someone that that it’s over, or that they’re gay, but Chase seems to be in a good mood. It’s probably as good a time as any. “Have you decided on what you’re gonna do after school?”
Chase finally puts his phone down on the table and closes his eyes, sighing, and that makes me nervous.
“Don’t worry about it right now Leo. I’ve still got a few months to decide.”
Fuck. How can he tell me not to worry when all that’s gonna do is make me worry? And the way he says it…it sounds like he’s already made a decision. I open my muzzle to ask again, but he stands up, straightening his tight shirt out as he does.
“Going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
I grunt and he heads off towards the back of the restaurant while I slump in my seat. The idea of Chase leaving is fucking terrifying. We’ve been this way for the past two and a half years and the way he’s treating this decision like it’s just a fucking annoyance makes me all the more frustrated. I feel like this relationship has only really come into its own over the past year, mostly because Chase turned eighteen and we don’t have to worry about the stupid shit anymore.
His phone buzzes a few times, and I look at it out of habbit, then it really starts buzzing and I realize someone’s calling him.
Incoming Call…Jared
A face that I don’t recognize pops up on the screen. It’s a wolf of some kind…a gray wolf, I think, and he’s ridiculously handsome, model handsome, actually. I furrow my brows, then look back behind me at the bathroom, but Chase isn’t there. Fuck it; I could just say I was picking it up for him, anyway.
I grab the phone and stab the green pick-up symbol before holding it up to my ear. Since Chase has the stubby muzzle thing going for him his phone doesn’t pull out like mine, so I have to try and direct my voice out the side of my mouth.
“Who’s this?” I curse silently as I realize that if I wanted the guy to talk that probably wasn’t the best way to do it and sure enough I hear a click as he hangs up. I feel my heart beating fast as I pull the phone down from my ear. I stare at the screen for a while and barely realize it goes black. There’s no way he’d do this…would he? I slide my phone around the blank screen for a while, then turn it back on as I navigate to the texts. Sure enough there’s a thread under the name Jared with over 1000 texts. My throat’s dry as I tap on it and look at the most recent messages.
11:52
Hey boy where u at?

11:55
I miss u

12:02
Callin now <3

“Hey!”
I whip my head up and see Chase staring down at me, an exasperated grin on his muzzle. I almost lower my ears in shame at being caught, but I catch myself before I do. He was the one who had some explaining to do.
“Who the fuck is this!?” I shove the phone in his face, realizing that I’d lost my chance at approaching this delicately. I also notice a few heads turning our way and that I’ve suddenly become the guy I didn’t want to be.
Chase takes his phone and quickly sits down, his eyes wide as he makes a “shushing” shape with his mouth. That only pisses me off more, but at the same time I feel something really sharp and painful in my chest. Is this really happening?
“So you are leaving? Running off to fuck some other wolf?”
Now people are really staring and Chase winces and he ducks his head lower to the table.
“It’s a joke, Leo, calm down.”
A joke? I don’t understand what that means, exactly, but I’m starting to. I don’t say anything, so Chase keeps going.
 “Jenna, we—we were just trying to have some fun. I was starting to realize that this probably wasn’t the best time, but—“
Jenna. That explains it, but the anger and betrayal I’m feeling doesn’t go away like it should. Now I’m livid.
“So you’re playing this stupid game of keeping me guessing whether or not you’re gonna ditch me by next year and then you pull this shit!?” I raise my voice for the last part and there’s a noticeable lull in the conversations all around us. A few people glance at us then look away, but I can tell all their ears are pointed in our direction.
“Outside, Leo.” He says it like he’s talking to a toddler, then stands up and goes straight for the door. Again, I’m pissed off even more, the way he’s treating me like a little kid. I deserve it, I know, but I can’t help it. I follow him out into the hot air, again, trying to ignore the heads turning as I walk by.
“The hell is wrong with you!?” He whirls on me as I follow him out and I’m shocked that he looks almost as angry as I am.
“Me!?”
“You know, I told Jenna that there was no way in hell you’d fall for this since you already knew how I felt about you. I’m the one that should be fucking offended that you’d think that!”
“That’s not fair! You wanted a reaction from me and you got one.” I fold my arms and glare at him. “Happy?”
Chase folds his arms, too, and slumps against the brick wall, looking away from me. He’s sad and that fucking hurts. I was looking forward to this all day, and he probably was, too. It’s almost enough to make me take everything back. Almost. Then Jenna shows up, her light blonde fur almost making her hard to look at as she lights up under the sun.
She comes running over from the parking lot to hop up onto the sidewalk, standing next to Chase. I should have known it was strange that Chase would park so far away from me. She’d been sitting in there this whole time, probably watching us through the windows.
“What’s wrong, Leo?” The glee in her voice brings all of it back and I realize who I’m really mad at. She probably pushed him into the whole thing.
“This was your idea?” I reach out and grab the phone from Chase’s paw and hold it out to her.
She’s still grinning, though the initial happiness morphs into a more condescending look that makes me grit my teeth.
“It’s a prank, Leo.”
 “Making me think I just lost my otter is a prank? If this is a fucking joke then you need to learn how to make one first.”
“Why don’t you learn how to take one?”
“How was I supposed to take that? Just laugh and shrug and say ‘well fuck, so much for that!’ Is that what you expected?” I throw my arms out in a big, exaggerated shrug. Jenna frowns and lowers her ears.
“Actually we just thought you wouldn’t fall for it, at least not this hard. I mean, come on, I cropped that from the cover of some teen magazine. It was my number, too, if you didn’t notice.” She continues to frown at me. Chase is still looking away from us and I feel like the big asshole that’s ruined everyone’s fun.
“It’s—It just wasn’t a good time, alright?”
“No?” Jenna asks, tilting her head to the side and looking genuinely curious.
“No.” Why the fuck was she doing this right now? I just wanted to talk to Chase, alone. I look back into the restaurant and a server behind the counter looking at us, a tray of food in her paws. Some of the patrons are staring, too. Like I give a fuck.
“What the hell are you doing here, anyway?” I turn my head back to Jenna. She raises a brow.
“Semester ended last week.”
“So you’re staying at home for the summer?” I give her a confused look.
“Of course not. I’m staying with Emily.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I’d honestly be happy to hear Jenna was gonna be around for the summer if she hadn’t introduced herself in such a fucked up way. I hear her give a heavy sigh, and I open my eyes to see her rubbing her head, like I’m just the biggest disappointment.
“You need to calm down, Leo. How can we ever have fun if you’re exploding all the time?”
I grit my teeth again and I have to work not to snarl. “Telling me to calm down is the worst thing you can do right now. I’m tired, I’m hot, and I just wanted to have lunch with Chase.” I glance at the phone and see it’s already twenty past the hour which means Chase has to leave now. I squeeze the phone hard in my paw, but Jenna doesn’t seem to notice.
“You’re overreacting.”
I feel something snap inside and, rather than chuck the phone in Jenna’s direction, I spin and start to throw it down the side walk. I realize, at the last second, that it’s Chase’s phone that I’m throwing and I try to grab it back up at the same time I throw it. I only succeed in clipping a corner which sends it into a flip before it hits the concrete.
The crunch sound, along with the sparkling spray of glass, tells us all that I just smashed the phone to hell. I wince and flatten my ears. I stare at the little black square for a while, feeling both of their eyes on the back of my head.
“¿Qué mierda fue eso?” I curse myself, though I’ve said it enough times before that I know Chase recognizes the phrase. Slowly, I turn around, my face flushing as I try to meet eyes with him. “Otter, I’m sorry, I’ll buy you—”
“I’m going to Pueblo, Leo.”
He’s looking right at me, now, and his hazel eyes feel like they’re piercing right through me. I stare at him for a second, as if I didn’t understand, but I feel my stomach sink even as I ask, “What?” He’s sucking in his cheeks to stop himself from frowning, the way he does when he’s trying not to cry.
Jenna’s silent, looking away, but my gut tells me she already knows this, and that starts to bring back some of the anger.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
 “I said I’m going to Pueblo…in August. I got accepted in January.”
I don’t know what to say. I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach and I can’t get my air back to make words. All I can manage is, “Chase…” before he turns away from me.
“I gotta go back. I’m already gonna be late.” Jenna looks over at me and I finally see some remorse in her face before she jogs to catch up with Chase. I can hear her start to apologize.
I watch him go, desperately wanting to run up and pull him into my arms and tell him I’m sorry, but I know that’ll probably make things worse. He likes to be left alone when he’s pissed like this, but after dropping that bomb I want to talk to him right now.
No. We’ll figure this out. I’ll just talk to him once school lets out. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Just a few more hours. I watch them pull out of the parking lot and I wish he’d look at me as they drive past, but he doesn’t. Neither does Jenna. I hesitate, then pick up Chase’s phone because he’s gonna need to recover some shit from it when I buy him a new one, then hop back into my truck.
I sit there for a second, not sure what to do. I feel sick and angry, and tired all at the same time. A lot of this is my fault. I punch the steering wheel and that feels good so I do it again but then I realize people are still staring at me through the windows. I flip them off before I put the truck in gear. Was this why Chase was leaving me? Because I couldn’t control my fucking temper sometimes? No, NOT leaving me, just working things out.
As I’m driving down the road the churning feeling in my gut finally gets to me and I pull my phone out, looking up every now and then to correct my steering as I type out what I hope is a heartfelt apology. In the middle of it I remember that his phone is sitting in my cup holder, fucking broken. I finally let out the snarl I’ve been holding back and throw my phone into the passenger seat, accidentally swerving and setting off a few honks. I grip the steering wheel with both paws, blinking furiously as the road starts to blur.
No, I’m not gonna cry. This’ll work out fine, we just need to talk like we always do and even if he does leave, we’ll work something out. I’m not gonna fuck this up. I’m not gonna lose my temper ever again.
…I’m not gonna lose him.