star wars jokes

<ron> good question
<ron> well finns dead
<ron> a monster got him
<ron> oh hes fine
<ron> this is so good
<Qwerinty> yeah it's really really good
<Qwerinty> i wish i was watching it with you damn
<owlsolar> same
<owlsolar> the action sequences are so good
<ron> i like mas
<Qwerinty> i like mass because it allows things to exist
<ron> does light have mass
<ron> im asking because a beam of light the size of the moon shot out of a ice planet just now
<Qwerinty> that's no mooYAARRWGHHHHHH
<ron> lmao
<owlsolar> of course its not a moon its a planet
<Qwerinty> i think photons technically have mass but they are impossible to detect the mass of
<owlsolar> that shoots lasers
<Qwerinty> the laser tho
<ron> do lasers have mass. if so
<ron> awersrome
<Qwerinty> i think technically they do
<owlsolar> so really lightsabers have weight after all and people who say non jedi cant use them are full of shit
<owlsolar> give me my fucking lightsaber
<ron> yeah man
<ron> yeah
<Qwerinty> right but i mean han used a lightsaber in empire so we've known that all along
<owlsolar> holy.....
<ron> dam good point
<owlsolar> proof that lasers have mass was in front of us all along
<ron> actually mas had the laser in this movie
<owlsolar> :gonk:
<Qwerinty> lightsabers have always been phsycial because you see duelists pushing against each other all the time when they cross swords
<Qwerinty> try pushing against a laser and you'll be sliced in half
<owlsolar> not if you push it with another laser!!!
<Qwerinty> but non-jedi have always been able to use it... the prequel trilogy and the concept of fandoms destroyed star wars and we're only now coming to grips with that and moving past it
<ron> ahhhhhhhh fucking c3po
<owlsolar> well yeah im saying it was bs from the start
<ron> i thought you were kidding qwerinty
<Qwerinty> han uses a lightsaber to open up the creature thing so luke didn't freeze to death
<owlsolar> does this look like a laughing matter to you???
<Qwerinty> oh
<Qwerinty> you thought i was joking about c3po
<Qwerinty> no
<ron> hes real....
<Qwerinty> FUCKING C3PO
<ron> aargh
<Qwerinty> they waited so long to have him in the film too
<ron> it wouldnt be a star wars movie if i didnt resent it a little bit
<Qwerinty> they got our hopes up so much
<Qwerinty> lmao
<owlsolar> idgi....
<Qwerinty> i have a burning hatred for c3po because he sucks and is stupid
<Qwerinty> and it maybe had sense to have jerky shitty robots in the 70s  but now we have a robot that is a damned sphere and they coexist with the tin man in the space version of wizard of oz
<ron> george lucas in 1978: what if the robot was bad.......no no like hes really bad like he sucks and is stupid.......yyeahhhh.....
<owlsolar> lol
<owlsolar> imagine the terminator right, now imagine that he sucks
<owlsolar> instead of a skull face he has a clown face
<ron> mmmmm......im on it
<ron> haha
<Qwerinty> what if we had this really cute and memorable robot that can talk in beeps but someone needed to translate for it
<ron> ok im with you
<Qwerinty> what if the translator was a way to destroy the mountain tension with each word they said and was there solely to go get popcorn
<owlsolar> lol
<Qwerinty> mounting tension
<Qwerinty> not mountain tension lol
<ron> mount tension
<Qwerinty> !comic
<weeedbot> Qwerinty: http://i.imgur.com/m4L6gku.jpg
<Qwerinty> i'm laughing way too hard at mountain tension
<ron> lol
* owlsolar is now known as mountain_tension
<Qwerinty> aaaaaaaaaa
<mountain_tension> :getin:
<mountain_tension> i actually kinda like c3po, hes really bad but i actually find it entertaining that way
<mountain_tension> like the only part of episode 2 i remember was the part where he got his head switched with a battle droid
<Qwerinty> lol that's the only part i remember also
<ron> oh lord
<Qwerinty> growing up i always was pissed off at the c3po gets blown up and needs to be rebuilt subplot
<Qwerinty> i was like OH COME ON who fucking cares, this happened for literally no reason at all
<ron> just to show us that chewie knows his shit
<Qwerinty> right
<Qwerinty> just to show us chewie is the real hero of star wars
<mountain_tension> i love chewie
<mountain_tension> yeah
<Qwerinty> i love the song supernova song they made about chewie
<mountain_tension> oh ffs
<Qwerinty> haha my mom's maiden name is chew and she grew up with star wars and everyone called her chewie
<mountain_tension> fuck you berserker you had a 15% chance to hit
<ron> that sucks
<mountain_tension> im not even angry
<mountain_tension> actually yes i am fuck you!!!!!!!!!
<ron> lol
<mountain_tension> (the imaginary video game character, not you)
<Qwerinty> !comic
<ron> i know
<weeedbot> Qwerinty: http://i.imgur.com/tnJyjcq.jpg
<ron> shit sorry
<ron> sweeet
<mountain_tension> veryfitting
<Qwerinty> what is that tattooed on owl's arm
<mountain_tension> soemthing aint easy
<ron> P-----ING AINT EASY
<mountain_tension> cant read the first word
<Qwerinty> pimping
<Qwerinty> ok
<Qwerinty> wow
<Qwerinty> i feel like i should be allowed to buy digital only films and keep them as pure video files on my computer, rather than buy them on a service that requires streaming and an internet connection
<ron> yeah you should
<ron> they dont want to propogate sharing tho
<ron> its messed
<Qwerinty> i mean look at mystery science theater
<Qwerinty> for awhile there, all their videos were being taken off youtube
<Qwerinty> and their motto back in the day was "share the tapes"
<ron> cray
<ron> ya
<Qwerinty> but rhino entertainment owned the intellectual property for it and i think joel somehow got them to do like.. certain episodes on there
<ron> blerg
<Qwerinty> but also universal renewed the copyright on old mst3k episodes so any mst3k ep uploaded that was from universal films, and there were a LOT especially in the early mike years, are taken down instantly
<Qwerinty> like the movies featured in the episodes
<ron> right
<Qwerinty> it's all very sad because mst3k was founded on, grew, and became legendary because of their encouragement of taping the episodes and sharing them with people
<Qwerinty> they even set up a thing where you could send a tape in and they'd send it to someone wanting that tape
<ron> oh damn i never kenw that...
<Qwerinty> so this whole non sharing thing and no downloaded files is bullshit and i hate it
<Qwerinty> yeah
<Qwerinty> that was the comedy central days
<Qwerinty> before it was on scifi
<Qwerinty> and the KTMA days
<ron> silver tom servo
<Qwerinty> dudethat was fucked up
<Qwerinty> i was glad they remade all the KTMA episodes
<ron> they did all of them? i know they redid some
<Qwerinty> i think all, but maybe not
<ron> the empire just puts cannons on everything dam
<Qwerinty> you're gonna earn that title, admiral
<ron> dammmmm that was awesome
<ron> ok so i will go see the sequel and its gonna be like empire i bet but like luke is riding in a little knapsack on reis back instead of yoda
<Qwerinty> lol
<Qwerinty> that would own so hard
<ron> luke: uh no this is how its done. shush
<Qwerinty> yeah that movie was fucking good i want to see it again
<mountain_tension> lol
<mountain_tension> wait is it over
<ron> yep i finished it we can talk shop
<Qwerinty> i teach you as my teacher taught me *hits her on the head with a stick as she carries him*
<ron> haha
<mountain_tension> lol
<ron> ok youre gonna need to go in this cave. dont take anything with you unless you want to trip balls haha i dont know how it works. but seriously dont take anything with you
<mountain_tension> hahaha
<Qwerinty> *reis cuts off rens' head and the mask burns away to reveal her own face* seriously man
<Qwerinty> that doesn't even make sense
<Qwerinty> lmao ron
<mountain_tension> hahaha
<mountain_tension> you guys are killing it
<Qwerinty> mark hamill said they had to pay him a billion dollars to actually act in the movie, so the directors found a loophole and use him like a muppet
<Qwerinty> they're really going all out for the empire feel
<ron> wise
<Qwerinty> the video release of the force awakens ends with luke slowly raising a cold hot dog to his mouth and taking a bite
<ron> hahahaha
<ron> he reaches out.......and gets a handful of funyuns
<Qwerinty> w3322
<ron> luke: *through a mouthful of funyuns* these are really good do you want some
<Qwerinty> that's what happened when my forehead hitting keyboard from doubling over with laughter
<Qwerinty> the star wars and bluntman + chronic crossover film
<ron> shit id watch it
<Qwerinty> i really want the opening of the next movie to be luke rooting through reis' stuff and going mhm haha and throwing it down that huge ass cliff
<ron> yesssss
<ron> ok R2 now you have to shock me..............cmon! shock me! heewheeeeheeee
<Qwerinty> lmao
<ron> luke is now so lightside hes just bonkers
<Qwerinty> they don't have padded walls in that galaxy, they just have uninhabited planets
<ron> lol
<Qwerinty> you're a gross green thing, ok you get the swamp. you have a beard, you get the one with the ocean
<Qwerinty> <luke> let me show you how many fucks i give *raises a single tiny pebble on a distant mountain*
<ron> alright since youre an insomniac you get to choose between gas world or junk world
<ron> lol
<mountain_tension> jesus christ these are amazing
<ron> :D
<Qwerinty> you're the devil, you are literally from the satan race so you get the lava planet
<ron> haha i remember that guy
<Qwerinty> yes you can have two swords you can put together, knock yourself out
<ron> oh lol i was thinking of this guy http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/f/f3/Labria.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20061120112021
<Qwerinty> lmao
<Qwerinty> hahaha
<Qwerinty> i forgot about him
<Qwerinty> maybe darth maul is like the elder life stage of that race
<ron> id buy it
<mountain_tension> thats me
<ron> also there is more than one piece of fan art for this guy
<ron> oh nice congrats owl
<Qwerinty> like literally that's his only shot
<ron> its good
<ron> http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b3/Malloc_SWGTCG-AoD.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090820151735
<ron> hes a budweiser man
<Qwerinty> that devil guy, with one foot on the table and one foot on the ground, holding an ace of spades with the middle finger faced out, spelling "devil guy" in cigarette smoke, holding a a beer
<ron> lmao
<ron> hahaha
<mountain_tension> lol
<ron> there is a LOT of fan art for this guy
<Qwerinty> what is he even called so i can see it
<ron> just google mos eisley cantina devil guy
<Qwerinty> lmao
<Qwerinty> that's perfect
<Qwerinty> ok
<ron> google didnt let me down
<Qwerinty> the race is called Devaronian which is a clear sign to go search for this on deviant art
<ron> A Devaronian male extending his tongue towards Leia Organa
<Qwerinty> http://pre09.deviantart.net/6114/th/pre/i/2009/302/c/6/sw_hunks__devaronian_by_kaernen.jpg
<ron> chewies like, uhhh whaaat
<Qwerinty> lmao ron
<ron> lol
<Qwerinty> http://pre09.deviantart.net/898d/th/pre/i/2013/077/0/e/devilish_devaronian_by_greglakowske-d5yh5fq.jpg
<ron> sickkk
<ron> someones got that tattoo
<ron> "oh hey is that the devil. nice"
<ron> tattoo guy: uuuuugggghhhhhhh
<Qwerinty> hahaha
<Qwerinty> NO, his name is Kardue'sai'Malloc and he is of a noble race of demons and hellspawn
<ron> lol
<Qwerinty> sometimes, at night, the tattoo snickers to itsef
<ron> http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/a/ac/Elisincantina.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110613090153 uhhhh
<ron> thats just like a ghost
<ron> http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b6/ArleilSchous.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080626154133 and wolfman
<Qwerinty> stormtroopers killed luke along with his uncle and aunt, and star wars is his death journey
<ron> i bet tehres a dracula thrown in the back somewhere
<ron> lol
<Qwerinty> the cantina scene is literally the scene in blazing saddles where they bust in on a bunch of actors taking a break while in costume
<ron> haha
<Qwerinty> lucas was running out of money and was getting writer's block so he just filmed that scene in whatever hollywood studio cafeteria
<ron> http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/bc/Shistavanen_Wolfman-BotF_by_Joel_Hustak.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131219191453 A Shistavanen in action
<Qwerinty> shistavanen are you serious
<Qwerinty> shitstain
<ron> lol
<Qwerinty> i'd be an old time intergalactic racist: them there are fucking werewolves, not this shitstain malarky
<ron> *spit*
<Qwerinty> i remember when we slaughtered the dracula race, they called themselves something like "hoo-mans" but they were draculas
<ron> http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/9/79//apes.jpg Shistavanen recreation
<Qwerinty> lmao
<Qwerinty> hahahaha
<Qwerinty> recreation of that ghost guy up there: http://m0.joe.ie/YToyOntzOjQ6ImRhdGEiO3M6MTYwOiJhOjM6e3M6MzoidXJsIjtzOjk5OiJodHRwOi8vbWVkaWEtam9lLm1heGltdW1tZWRpYS5pZS5zMy5hbWF6b25hd3MuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDE1LzA2LzA1MDkwMTI5L0dob3N0ZmFjZS5qcGciO3M6NToid2lkdGgiO2k6NjQ3O3M6NjoiaGVpZ2h0IjtpOjM0MDt9IjtzOjQ6Imhhc2giO3M6NDA6IjNmNTcyYzViZmJlODA2MzFiNWY0MDc4ZDNiZTk3NDM3ODRmYTY1ZDIiO30=/ghostface.jpg
<Qwerinty> jesus that url is long
<ron> hahaha
<Qwerinty> artist's interpretation: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09132005
<mountain_tension> hadfjklghalsk;dfioawehfioadsfhl;akdsjfklajdf;ghostface
<ron> http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HgMXFg94f64/TbYMgXOgSvI/AAAAAAAAAYU/TANvQtQBesg/s1600/McCantina.jpg
<ron> So what happens when I mix my favorite movie with my favorite fast food chain? - jedi_randy
<Qwerinty> is this viral marketing for a new clerks movie
<ron> haha the filter is right
<Qwerinty> oh i guess that's randal and not randy nevermind
<Qwerinty> people think actors have it hard because they're always being recognized doing ordinary things like shopping or eating fast food but they have it easy. all they have to do is put on a costume and act like someone else
<ron> i dont know.....look how pissed alec guinness is
<ron> http://bogleech.com/scrapbook/sw-wioslea2.jpg
<Qwerinty> matt damon, spending 5 hours to look exactly like the clerk at starbucks who he sees every morning
<Qwerinty> "goddammit, cronenberg" he thinks to himself
<Qwerinty> "that shit's not funny anymore"
<ron> oh dam i was reading the elaborate backstory of the bartender
<ron> The Mos Eisley Adventure Set first identified the bartender as "Cedo Partu," but the name never stuck, and the character was later renamed as "Wuher."[9]Pablo Hidalgo created a retcon in Star Wars Insider 91 to acknowledge the old name—establishing Cedo Partuas a separate character, and The Prophetess's claim that Wuher was the reincarnated soul of Cedo Partu.
<ron> jesus lol
<Qwerinty> lmao what
<Qwerinty> the star wars wiki is curated by crack team of heavy dmt abusers
<ron> lool
<Qwerinty> why, prophetess, why have you given life to me again
<Qwerinty> we needed a bartender and ive been banned from craigslist
<ron> haha dam
<Qwerinty> *camera pans away from bartender during fight scene* your destiny is fulfilled
<ron> the gruff guy who attacked luke in the bar was like a mad doctor i guess
<ron> he made zombies and boba fett kills them
<Qwerinty> physician, heal thyself
<Qwerinty> ok *sews on arm*
<Qwerinty> boba fett is a bounty hunter, so that means that he's the proxy for the laziest monster hunter in the galaxy
<ron> http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/1/12/Cuttingedge.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101219053519 a mind transference machine
<ron> this shit is crazy
<Qwerinty> that's the cover of a 50s pulp scifi novel
<ron> or real
<ron> fpor
<Qwerinty> My Brain Was Transplanted Into My Clone a horror tale by Harry Dean Anderson
<ron> haha
<ron> ok i gotta get to bed i could read this shit all day
<Qwerinty> actually just make that the cover to Dianetics
<ron> lmao
<ron> deleted shot from Star Wars Cantina scene http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cd8uQ_Cmofs/UtYld4n8GTI/AAAAAAAAEoU/SGA_78IrXik/s1600/ms2.jpg
<Qwerinty> omg hahahahahaha
<Qwerinty> why did they ship frankenstein in a big crate, why not send him piecemeal in smaller crates
<ron> whoa
<ron> haha is this real
<ron> http://i.imgur.com/UojOj.jpg
<Qwerinty> Frähnkstën by Ikea
<Qwerinty> that looks like someone superimposed henry rollin's face on han solo
<ron> ytes it does
<Qwerinty> or maybe marv from sin city
<Qwerinty> never will you find such a hive of villany and scum. my kinda place.