script-a4-Rin

label en_R33:

    #open with the Act 4 title card, "Difference"

    "A headache is relentlessly thumping against the back of my head as I push open the door to 22nd Corner."

    "Apart from that, I'm perfectly calm."

    "After venting all that anger that I had bottled inside on Rin, it felt like a great weight had been lifted from my heart."

    "The tension that had grasped my mind for the past few weeks faded away without leaving even a shadow behind."

    "In this nearly zenbuddhist-like state of enlightenment I realized that perhaps it was a bad idea to yell at her like that."

    "I really meant it, but what good is blowing up like that? Nothing."

    "I am not like that. I don't normally yell at people. I don't know why yesterday I did."

    "So I keep feeling really guilty about it, and wanting to take my words back."

    "Rin is probably upset too. Even more than my own behaviour, her reaction shocked me."

    "I've always thought of her as unchanging, detached from her surroundings that seeing my yelling get her so upset felt… out of place."

    "I wonder if she understands how I feel?"

    "In Rin's world everything seems to be so absolute and subjective… absolutely subjective, as if she was completely unable to see things from other points of view than her own."

    "But ultimately, is anyone able to do it? Maybe objectivity and altruism are just illusions for people who like to think themselves as compassionate."

    "Just like art is an illusion for people who think reality is merely a veil for something greater."

    "Even when you stop thinking that the world revolves around you or start thinking outside of the mythical box, you are just inside another, bigger box that you can't escape."

    "Maybe that, ultimately, makes her alike the rest of us."

    #scenechange

    "I step through the door to find a gallery full of illusioned people."
    "The gallery looks surprisingly small. During my earlier visits, I always thought it was very spacious but now when it's crowded like this it looks positively cramped."

    #how do we visualize crowds? We don't? Mass of sketchy people as a sprite layer? Shaft style?

    "I immediately notice Sae standing in the middle of a lively discussion, busily chattering with some old gentlemen."

    "She's actually pretty tall, and kind of cool looking so she stands out in the crowd."

    "There are a few dozen wine glasses laid on the tables along the back walls, filled with burgundy liquid of which a vast majority of the guests are sipping on from their own glasses."

    "The socialites and art connoisseurs are mingling happily, exchanging mild opinions about Rin's art which seems to be a secondary object of interest for most."

    "I feel distanced, excluded from the other people here."

    "I can't claim to be a social chameleon even with some good will, and this situation is quite unnerving."

    "I don't blend into the crowd at all, so I just fake that I do, trying to look as cool and smooth as I can."

    "I wonder how Rin can handle all this. If it was me, I would be quite freaked out."

    "Throwing the anxiety aside, I try to carefully navigate through the crowd, stealing peeks at the framed paintings now hanging on the walls."

    "Rin exhibition takes about half of the gallery's wall space. Some paintings are less familiar than others, but I recognize most of them."

    "Some I've seen being created at the club meetings after all, or remember from the time Rin was choosing her portfolio."

    "I note that both of the unfinished paintings are framed and on the wall as well. Maybe that's what they call coincidental art?"

    "Even Rin's failures, if you can call them that, became exhibits of her skill. Quite paradoxal."

    "She herself is nowhere to be seen, which is strange because despite the crowdedness, the gallery {b}is{/b} pretty small."

    "It's fine, sort of. I don't know how to face her after yesterday. Maybe I shouldn't have even come"

    "But I promised to various people, Rin included, that I would, so…"

    "Damn, it sounds like I do the things I do because some kind of instinct of properness compels me to, not because it would be sensible (or not)."

    "I sneak closer to Sae to wait for a lull in the conversation so I can chat her up too."

    "Even though her voice is almost completely buried under the general background noise, I hear bits and pieces of her talking about Rin."

    sa "Yes, she is a high schooler at a local school… even though she's graduating next year I'm sure various art schools would be interested in…"

    sa "…I thought it'd be interesting to have an exhibition of someone who is still in early stages of development…"

    "It's so strange, it's like Rin is some kind of mini-celebrity even though this is nothing but a small exhibition opening at a small art gallery of a small town."

    sa "In fact, there is a friend of mine from…"

    mystery "It's Hisao!"

    "My eavesdropping is interrupted by a familiar voice and a familiar slap to the back, the source of neither I need to guess, even without turning around."

    hi "Hi Emi."

    #show her. If Emi has casual outfit, she'll be wearing them

    emi "Hi! Are you like, a representative of the art club or something? I don't see anyone else from the school here…"

    hi "Umm… I don't know, really. I guess I am if that's the case."

    hi "What about you?"

    "Maybe it's because I haven't seen Emi much apart from a few hellos in the hallway, I didn't really expect her to be here."

    emi "What about me?"

    "Suddenly it feels silly not having thought of that."

    hi "Err…"

    emi "You didn't think I'm interested in art? Is that it, Hisao?"

    hi "No, that's not what I… well, maybe a little, if you put it that way."

    hi "I mean, even though you hang out with Rin I've never heard you talk about art with her so…"

    "Emi huffs and looks around her, looking discontented."

    emi "It's true, I don't get it at all, but she came to my track meet so I thought it's only fair to return the favor."

    "She leans closer, trying to look confidential but only managing to look conspiring."

    emi "Do you {b}get{/b} art?"

    hi "No. No, I don't."

    hi "At all."

    "My emphasizing headshake draws a giggle and a cheery headshake of her own out of Emi."

    emi "Me neither!"

    emi "Hey, let's go talk with Rin! I bet you haven't yet, because I haven't either."

    emi "Come on!"

    "Before she has a chance to forcefully drag me to Rin, Nomiya appears behind her with Rin in his tow."

    "She's not dressed for the occasion, instead opting for the usual school uniform and unkempt hair."

    "Maybe her natural look is what suits her the best."

    emi "Hello, teacher! Hi, Rin!"

    "Unfazed, Emi greets the teacher cheerfully, causing him to turn around and look down confusedly."

    no "Who are you?"

    emi "I'm Emi, from school, class 3-4. Don't you remember?"

    "She looks positively shocked at the prospect that there could be a person who doesn't know her."

    no "Oh, sorry. You are in the same class as Tezuka is, right?"

    emi "Yeah!"

    no "You'll have to pardon me, I have trouble remembering students who don't take art."

    emi "Don't mind, don't mind!"

    emi "Hi Rin! "

    rin "Hello."

    emi "Congratulations for your super cool art thing! I'm sure you'll be a big hit!"

    "She throws her arms into air for boisterous emphasis, almost hitting me in the face."

    emi "And look, Hisao came too!"

    "Rin doesn't look at me, nor does she greet me."

    hi "Congratulations, Rin."

    "She keeps averting her gaze, pointedly looking at her sandals."

    "Oblivious to the tension between us and ignorant of what happened yesterday, Emi keeps on blabbering about this and that to unresponsive Rin."

    "I guess she's used to not getting much out of her at times."

    "Before long, Nomiya and Sae who had been chatting up some guests turn to Rin, introducing her."

    "Expecting it, I catch the second of confusion when the guests see her arms."

    "Sae is luckily on the ball and briefly explains about our school."

    "Doubtful faces quickly change to curious."

    "Man" "Would you mind telling something about your art to us?"

    "Man" "I thought the development is quite easily noticeable, what do you yourself think of the differences between the older and more current works?"

    "Man" "It's quite rare for someone so young to dabble into abstraction."

    "Woman" "It would've been interesting to see how you work!"

    "Man" "Oh, definitely! I assume you use your feet? Must've been a great trouble to learn it, you should be proud."

    rin "I… ummm…"

    "Man" "Will you be pursuing a career as an artist after school?"

    "She is bombarded with so many questions she can't even hope to answer all of them."

    "Maybe better so, Rin tends to talk nonsense more than occasionally."

    "Man" "So where do you get your ideas?"

    rin "That's the fourth, I mean fifth worst…"

    "Rin keeps stumbling with her words, looking more and more vexed by the expectant inquiries."

    rin "Ah…."

    "Everyone is waiting for her to say something, but she looks like a cat ate her tongue."

    "Each question piling up just adds to her distress."

    "I fail to hear the question that is the proverbial one too many."

    "It's like a motor stalling."

    "Rin just freezes for a long, long second until she falls on her knees, hitting the floor ungracefully like a sack of potatoes."

    "Woman" "Are you all right?"

    rin "I don't know…"

    no "Tezuka? What's wrong, girl?"

    rin "I don't know what's wrong…"

    "A terrible silence falls upon the people gathered around Rin."

    "Everyone is petrified, not knowing how to react to her sudden… seizure, or something."

    "She breathes with deep, trembling gasps as if she was running out of air, staring with hollow eyes ahead of herself."

    "Seeing that nobody does anything, I force myself to step to Rin and lift her up from the floor, letting her lean against me to keep standing."

    hi "Would you like some fresh air? Ok, let's go outside for a bit."

    "I don't even wait for her to answer before grasping her shoulder and pulling her past the stunned-looking Nomiya, Sae, Emi and guests."

    hi "Excuse us."

    "The cool evening breeze hits my face at the door."

    "I let go of Rin and she leans against the stone wall, trying to catch her breath."

    hi "Are you all right?"

    rin "I couldn't say anything…"

    "Rin is still not looking at me, so I look away too."

    "The streetlights and neon-colored signs twist my vision into a blur of near blindness, forcing me to look back."

    "At least she talks, even if she's not directing it to me."

    hi "What did you want to say?"

    "Maybe both of us can imagine that we are talking to an invisible friend."

    rin "I don't know."

    rin "Something that would have meant something."

    "…"

    "The silence lasts for a long time."

    "I don't feel comfortable being alone with Rin. I am not good at imagining things that don't exist, do… or that things that exist, don't."

    hi "We should go back in."

    hi "The guests Sae invited are in there, they probably want to meet you and talk with you."

    hi "You know, ask you questions and stuff. About those paintings you worked so hard for."

    rin "I don't want them to ask me questions like that. I can never say the right things."

    hi "What do you want then?"

    "…"

    #rin "That someone wouldn't have to ask questions from me."

    return

label en_choiceR33:
    menu:
        with menueffect

    #choice:
        rin "That someone wouldn't have to ask questions from me."

        "But aren't you happy that people are interested in your paintings?":
            return m1

        "But if you found someone like that, then what?":
            return m2

label en_R33a:

    hi "But aren't you happy that people are interested in your paintings?"

    hi "I mean, isn't that why you went ahead with having the exhibition and all?"

    hi "Of course they would ask you questions, if they think it's interesting."

    rin "It's like having sunrise twice I a row when you want to bathe naked in moonlight."

    rin "Nice, but…"

    "…it's not enough, I complete the sentence for her even though I don't understand her inappropriate metaphor."

    hi "I don't get it."

    hi "You should try to be happier. It's your big night after all."

    hi "All these people are here to see you paintings. I think it's awesome."

    "I wait for her to say something, either for or against, but Rin keeps brooding."

    "She doesn't want to answer questions, or explain to me what's wrong."

    "If she had something to say, the words are left unspoken."

    "The words that she cannot say."

    "I shudder against the chill wind that blows in the streets, and its howling fills the silence."

    hi "We should go back in."

    hi "You've got everyone worried."

    #bg changeskip

    no "Ah there you are! Feeling better? It can get pretty hot in here, a dizzy spell can catch you off guard."

    "He laughs brashly, almost obnoxiously."

    no "You should drink something if you're feeling weak, Tezuka."

    "Rin nods weakly, but it seems to be enough to convince Nomiya that she is fine."

    "He pushes Rin a bit forward to introduce her to the person he was conversing with before."

    no "So, about what we were talking about before…"

    "Man" "Ah yes, I'm very excited to meet…"

    "I am shut out of the conversation and the background noise of dozens of other discussions fills my ears with indistinct buzz."

    "Even Emi has disappeared somewhere."

    "Standing in the middle of a crowd is a surprisingly lonely feeling."

    "Not only Rin, but everyone else here seems to be a part of something I am not a part of."

    "I am happy for her, I really am, but it makes me feel that I haven't accomplished anything yet."

    "Rin is living proof of the potential of a human being. She overcame her disability, even made it a strength."

    "She should be happy."

    "What is my potential?"

    "Rin made it this far, but how far can I go?"

    return

label en_R33b:

    hi "Do you really think that it would be some kind of be-all end-all thing, star-crossed lovers and happily ever after?"

    "My question is met with a blank stare, the darkness in her eyes unfazed by the thinly veiled bitterness."

    rin "No, I don't think that."

    rin "But at least then I wouldn't have to be alone."

    "She whispers the words to the lights of the town but I hear them anyway."

    rin "I shouldn't have done this. Not yet."

    hi "The exhibition?"

    "She nods and closes her eyes, breathing calmly out as if to prove she can, and then continues talking to herself."

    hi "Why? Wrong conjunction of the planets?"

    rin "No, not that. I doublechecked, and I got up with the right, I mean left, foot and did everything else left, I mean right."

    rin "It's me."

    rin "I was wrong."

    "She stands straight and stretches herself before stepping past me out into the street."

    hi "Wait, where are you going?"

    "She stops on her tracks and turns around, looking at me quizzically."

    rin "School. I'm leaving."

    hi "What… why?"

    rin "Because I want to be me."

    "Rin walks off, leaving me behind utterly confused."

    hi "Rin!"

    "But… something she said really touched me, or maybe it was the way she said it."

    "Maybe it was the fact that {b}she{/b} she said it."

    "I want to say something back to her, before I forget this feeling again."

    "As if granting me a wish, Rin stops on her tracks. She doesn't turn around, just keeps waiting for me to say what I want to even though I didn't have time to think what…"

    hi "Rin… listen. I… I don't believe you have to be alone, even if you never meet anyone like that."

    "I don't know if she heard my words, but either way, she doesn't react in any way."

    "For the final time, she starts walking away from the gallery."

    #bg changeskip

    no "So? Where's Tezuka?"

    "I can only shake my head, but as it doesn't seem to be a sufficient answer I have to say something."

    hi "She ran away."

    no "What?"

    "The horrific realization spreads on his face like wildfire."

    no "This is a fiasco! Catastrophe!"

    no "What is that girl thinking, the most important event of her life, and she just runs off?"

    no "And you! Why didn't you stop her? I'm going to hold you personally responsible…"

    "Sae interrupts him, holding her hands up calmingly."

    "Better that way, the teacher seemed to loose all self restrain, getting a few weird looks from the nearby guests despite keeping his voice relatively down."

    sa "Now, now, Shinichi. She probably just had ramp fever. I don't know her as well as you people do, but I did get the image that she is somewhat peculiar."

    sa "This kind of thing can happen."

    sa "It'll be fine. I'll explain that she suddenly became ill. The guests surely understand."

    no "But…"

    sa "Look around you, everyone seems to be rather happy with their free wine and chitchat."

    no "The guests will be fine, but we are missing on opportunities here! Networking, making contacts and acquaintances!"

    "As the adults keep arguing about a thing that can't be helped, Emi tugs my sleeve to get my attention."

    "She doesn't look very happy either."

    emi "Come on."

    hi "Where?"

    emi "We are going to find Rin and kick her ass."

    hi "What?"

    emi "I can't believe it, she is so stupid!"

    emi "That Rin, how can she do this? I'm telling you, she doesn't have bit of common sense in her head!"

    "Emi is seriously angry, only steam rising from her ears is missing."

    "I guess I understand Emi, she is {b}that{/b} kind of a person."

    "“Give up” has never felt like a part of her vocabulary, and maybe she feels it shouldn't be a part of anyone's vocabulary."

    hi "It's probably best to leave her alone for tonight."

    emi "What? Are you a Rin expert now?"

    "She takes a firm stance and puts her hands on her hips confrontationally."

    "It's like she wants to pick a fight with me too."

    hi "No, I don't think that's even possible in the first place."

    hi "I just don't think kicking her ass would do her any good."

    "My melancholic remark surprisingly works, as Emi slumps her shoulders a little and sighs."

    emi "I know that."

    hi "You do?"

    emi "The last time I did, it changed nothing."

    #bg changeskip

    "The ride back to school in an empty late-night bus is silent."

    "Both of us keep staring at the lights flashing past the windows without saying a word."

    #and again

    "The nightly grounds are quiet, lit only by the wan moon and deep yellow lamp posts."

    "We say our goodnights in front of my dormitory."

    "Emi reflexively clenching her fists compels me to ensure that she won't assault Rin the moment I let her out of my sight."

    hi "Promise me to not go scold her?"

    "She looks up at me, her eyes again flaring with anger that I match with as calming stare as I can."

    "It's easy to face a woman scorned only if you are not the target of her ire."

    "After a minute of the mismatched staring contest, she sighs and shakes her head in defeat."

    emi "You are too nice, Hisao."

    emi "Did you know that?"

    "Hints of a smile are tugging the corners of her mouth as she says that, and she seems a lot more relaxed."

    "What a sudden change of mood."

    "Maybe she wasn't as angry as it seemed to begin with."

    "Maybe her moods change easily."

    hi "If I was, I would've let you have your way."

    emi "Does that mean you are only nice to Rin?"

    "Both of us are hiding our concern behind empty jokes, but at least it gets me on a good mood."

    "Emi wags her eyebrows with a half-amused smirk, trying to push my buttons. Not gonna work"

    hi "No, it just means I'm not nice only to you."

    emi "HEY!"

    hi "Good night, Emi."

    return

label en_R34:

    "The last day before the summer vacation is waning slowly."

    "Science is the final exam of the trimester and then we are free."

    "The collective yearning for liberty is almost palpable in the classroom, even though the weather seems a tad cloudy."

    "Who knows, it might rain today."

    "I've already finished the test because it was pretty easy so I'm doodling lazily on the flip side of the paper, waiting for Mutou to call time."

    "It also prevents Misha from trying to look at my answers covertly over my shoulder."

    "She might fool the inattentive teacher, but I can tell that she is trying to look."

    "I guess it's her best bet at passing the test. Doesn't make me feel any mercy though, so I just ignore her and look around me."

    "It's quiet."

    "The only sounds in the classroom are the quiet shuffling of papers and Mutou's constant coughing."

    "It makes my awareness of the surroundings slowly drift to the backstage of consciousness, giving room to other things."

    "Vacation, huh?"

    "Some people will stay at the school even over the holidays, some go back to their families."

    #jump to R35 if Rin didn't run away in R33, otherwise fallthrough

    return

label en_R34a:

    "I don't know what to do. I should go buy a train ticket for the trip back home for the vacation, but I can't bring myself to do it."

    "I bet I'm going to get a call from home again, pestering about when I'm coming and I don't know what to answer."

    "This lousy feeling is pretty overwhelming. With the state of things with Rin, it feels like I can't just bail out of here and pretend we are through."

    "And now, she has other problems of her own. I thought that the exhibition opening would give some breather, but I was sorely mistaken."

    "The tangle just seems to thicken."

    "A stern knock on the door interrupts the quiet but frantic mood of the last 15 minutes of the exam."

    mu "Come in."

    "The opening door reveals the art teacher, who steps in with his jacket swirling around him like in a gust of wind."

    "He glances at Mutou, who glances back at him."

    "A frown spreads simultaneously on both of their faces as the men measure each other with their gazes."

    no "Excuse me, could I borrow Mr. Nakai for a moment?"

    mu "Excuse {b}me{/b}, Mr. Nomiya, but we are in the middle of an exam here."

    "A chilly atmosphere suddenly spreads in the middle of the summer afternoon as the two men are trying to stare each other down."

    no "This is urgent, and it seems that Nakai has already finished."

    "Both men turn to look at me, staring at me like a pair of basilisks trying to petrify a tasty snack."

    "It's true that I've been idle for a good while now so Nomiya is right but…"

    mu "Nakai, would you like to check your answers one more time?"

    "Mutou speaks with a odd intonation, weighting certain words as if trying to send a message."

    "The pressure from their stares makes me rapidly shake my head, which is apparently interpreted as an answer of some sort."

    mu "Very well. Nakai, go with Mr. Nomiya, if you please."

    mu "Take your bag with you and bring your test paper to my desk."

    mu "You have a nice vacation."

    hi "Umm. Er, you too, teacher."

    "The entire world… well, at least the classroom seems to hold its breath just for me, putting the exam on hold until I stand up, collect my stuff and walk to the door."

    "I can feel the stares in my neck. My classmates probably think I'm in for some detention or something, on the last day of the school before summer vacation."

    "I don't know what the teacher wants from me but I can guess it probably is not detention and also that it probably has something to do with Rin again."

    "Nomiya doesn't take me anywhere, contending with the hallway as it's completely abandoned."

    no "Do you know where Tezuka is?"

    "So she is trying to avoid the teacher… par for the course, probably."

    "I wonder if she realizes that she can't avoid dealing with this indefinitely."

    hi "I have no idea."

    hi "You have probably asked from her homeroom next door."

    no "Of course I have! I have searched every nook and cranny of this blasted school and the girls' dorm."

    no "You are the last one to see her since yesterday and you are her friend."

    no "Work with me here. Aren't you worried?"

    "I am, but I don't know what I could do."

    "Rin did something incomprehensible yesterday, even for her."

    "She seemed really confused."

    hi "Maybe she just wants some time to think then. I got the feeling that she had second thoughts of having that exhibition."

    "Or something. She really didn't explain what was wrong."

    no "What second thoughts?"

    hi "I dunno. Just got that feeling."

    "I am being a little dishonest with the teacher, but this is not something I should be meddling with."

    "He came to me… yes, why? Maybe he thinks I'm some kind of confidant of Rin's, but I don't think I can help with this matter."

    "The teacher huffs and scratches his head in confusion."

    no "What's up with that girl? This is so unlike her, she's always been so goal-driven."

    "“Goal-driven?” That doesn't really strike me as a word to describe Rin with."

    "To me, she always felt obsessive at best."

    hi "Er, I don't mean to be rude, but wasn't it you who pushed Rin to that direction in the first place?"

    no "Her goal is my goal. That is a mentor's job."

    hi "I guess so. I just don't know if painting can make her happy."

    no "That's pretty preposterous of you to say, Nakai."

    "He suddenly sounds pretty irate. Did I say something stupid?"

    no "You don't understand, do you? It is not a question of happiness. For every gain there is a sacrifice to be made."

    no "There is no free lunch ,but could I… would I let that girl waste away her talent if she has a moment of doubt? Never!"

    no "Painting is work just like any other. To you Tezuka might make it look like child's play, but she works hard every day to make her art."

    no "To become extraordinary, one has to make an extraordinary effort."

    "The more the teacher talks, the more I feel that Rin doesn't think like that, even though I have no idea how she thinks."

    no "I can very well understand why she would sacrifice her summer vacation and make up for the lost classes and exams to get a chance at showing her art."

    no "This is the path she has taken, and to go all the way, that's not easy."

    no "I know she is young, and things are hard for her just like for all the kids here in this school, but that's no excuse."

    "He is finished."

    hi "But—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    no "Do you have anything like what art is to Tezuka?"

    hi "No…"

    "That's right. I have only vague ideas of my future, no goal to shoot for, no dream to blindly reach for."

    "I joined the art club in search of something I could be interested in, to get inspired by."

    "Did I find something like that?"
    "All I found in the end… was Rin."

    hi "No, I don't have a passion like that."

    no "Then you can't understand."

    "His flat statement allows no counterargument."

    hi "But… she might not understand even herself."

    "Still, I carry on arguing, out of spite if for nothing else."

    no "How could she not? She's been on it so hard for the past few weeks that she put off even coming to school, not to say anything about attending class. Don't be ridiculous."

    "I don't think I'm being ridiculous, but as I have no rebuttal, Nomiya seems to consider this one his win."

    no "At any rate, despite Tezuka not showing up the opening was quite successful."

    no "Many people were interested in her work and one piece was even sold for a reasonable price."

    hi "Well, that's nice isn't it?"

    no "Yes, it's fantastic news! I hoped that Tezuka would come to her senses when she hears about this, but…"

    "He sighs and takes off his glasses, cleaning them against his jacket before putting them on his nose again."

    no "At any rate, I should be going. There is this mess to be settled with Sae and everyone."

    no "If you see Tezuka, please ask her to come see me. Otherwise, have a nice vacation."

    hi "Thanks…"

    "After he has disappeared around the corner, I ponder where Rin could really be."

    "It feels like she has not one, but at least half a dozen of these “secret places.”"

    "I balance between the desire to solve this tangle and to drop it for good."

    "The unused classroom is just a few feet away."

    "What to do?"

    "…"

    #scenechange

    "As I push open the door, only the shadows greet me from the inside."

    hi "Hey there."

    return

label en_R35:

    "I probably should make the trip back home and report to the parents that I'm alive and well."

    "Not much to do at the school anyway, I suppose."

    "Next trimester will be stressful. Everyone will have to seriously start thinking what to do after graduation."

    "Me too…"

    "A look at my doodle convinces me to stop trying to salvage it. It's a mess of lifeless lines, a waste of paper if it wasn't the flip side of my exam."

    "Maybe it's because I didn't really set out to draw anything particular."

    "I just wanted to kill some time, so the drawing became exactly like I am."

    "Without a direction to go to."

    "It'd be easier if I had some special talent, like Rin."

    "She has it easy."

    "It makes me kind of jealous."

    "It pisses me off that she herself can't seem to be happy about it."

    mu "Aaaand… time!"

    "Mutou's call for the end of exam draws groans of displeasure from half the class."

    "I don't blame them, the exam was kinda tricky."

    "Mutou expects a lot from our class, even though he's not strict at all. I guess he'd like all of us to become scientists."

    mu "Put down your pencils and turn in your papers please."

    "The biggest groan comes from the desk on my left side."

    "Misha's despair is almost tangible."

    "A dark aura of lost hope emanating from the seat next to mine makes me frightened and sympathetic of her."

    mu "Now then, there should be homeroom before you are free, but I only have a few announcements to make so this should be over quickly…"

    "His announcements are never important, so I listen to him only with one ear."

    "Misha seems to be too down in the dumps to even pretend attentiveness."

    "She slumps her head against the desktop, looking smitten."

    hi "Cheer up, Misha."

    hi "It's vacation! Don't worry about the test."

    mi "Thanks, Hicchan."

    "Her frown becomes a small smile and an sparkle of excitement lights in her eyes."

    mi "What're you going to do over the summer vacation, Hicchan?"

    mi "I'm going to Shicchan's place, they have this awesome and super cool mansion! I'm so excited~!"

    mi "I'm sure it'll be the bestest summer vacation ever~!"

    "She seems to have forgotten all about her misery in a few seconds and bounces up and down on her seat as if to pump up her excitement."

    hi "I don't really have any plans I guess…"

    mi "Is that so~? Maybe you should—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    "A finger tapping her shoulder steals Misha's attention away from me."

    "Shizune points to Mutou, who is expectantly looking back at the two of them."

    mi "Oops! Sorry, Shicchan, I didn't notice teacher finished already, ehehe~"

    "She clears her throat and takes a deep breath…"

    mi "Stand!"

    "I stand up with everyone, save for the wheelchair-bound students in the first two rows."

    "Since I came here I've always wondered what they think about this daily tradition, being unable to do it “properly.”"

    "Is it a faux pas to keep to this tradition in a place that bypasses many others for convenience?"

    "Even though I never asked anyone, during these short weeks here I've come to the conclusion that they definitely are not insulted."

    "They understand."

    "That's what I like about this school. Nobody is too uptight about anything, everyone is so… considerate and understanding of each other."

    "I wish the whole world could be like this."

    scene black

    mi "Booooow!"

    #scenechange to Hisao's room

    "I turn the page slowly, listening to the rustling sound the paper makes when my fingers grasp it."

    "Restless."

    "It's the summer vacation."

    "No class, no homework, no art club meetings. Just free time to spend however I want to."

    "It doesn't feel like anything."

    "I tried to cheer up Misha, but I'm not feeling too cheery myself."

    "To be honest, the free time is intimidating. It reminds me of the hospital and the long, meaningless days that had to be filled somehow."

    "Only difference is that there I was bound to the ward, guarded by the Cerberus-like nurses."

    "Reading was a good solution back then, but the thought of spending my summer vacation reading books feels… nerdy."

    "That has nothing to do with the fact that I'm reading even now… I'm just killing time and trying to fight my anxiety."

    "Besides, my mind is on other matters, stretching to too many directions to make sense of any of them."

    "Thus, the book I've been on since Tuesday is progressing s l o w l y."

    "It feels like this book is taking me longer to read than it took the author to write"

    "I try to put it down for a while, then read some again, start all over from the beginning, read each page twice."

    "Nothing works, I have zero concentration."

    "Taking it with me just in case, I head out to get some fresh air and inspiration as to what to do."

    "I make my way to the quad, passing students heading for the gates on my way."

    "The hastiest ones are leaving for their homes already, judging from the luggage some are dragging with them."

    "I guess that no matter how hospitable Yamaku is, home is still home. Still, I heard some people will be staying here over the vacation."

    "The quad is big enough to be shadowless no matter how high or low the sun is."

    "I stop in the middle and bask in the warmth."

    "The brightness makes me squint my eyes when I look towards the main building."

    "It looks all but abandoned already."

    "Yuuko wasn't at work today, so the next time I can get books from the school library is after vacation."

    "There is a public library somewhere I'm sure, but I'm feeling too lethargic to find out where it is."

    "The hall is equally dead so I have to content myself to return to the dorms, ending my leisurely walk sooner that I expected."

    "Then again, I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting in the first place."

    "On a moment's impulse I enter the girls' dorm to see if Rin or Emi is there."

    "Neither is, so I go back to my own room to dwell on my lethargy."

    "I should talk things through with Rin."

    "She really bothers me."

    "Defying the conceptual equivalent of gravity, she balances between the thin line zigzagging between insanity, incomprehensibility and instability."

    "Rin affects me too. She challenges me in ways that I didn't know… or more accurately, didn't hope existed."

    "I've started to wonder whether these feelings are really love, or was I just fooling myself."

    "Surely, it would be insanity to consider that?"

    n "For the rest of the day, Rin, hospital, Yamaku and vacation swirl through my head."

    n "I can't concentrate even on concentrating."

    n "Thoughts seem to come and go haphazardly, fragmented into too small pieces of cognition."

    n "I pick up the book and manage to read a hundred pages, but I'm sure by tomorrow I'll have no recollections of what happened in the story."

    n "I tried to clean up my room, but even that proved to be too bothersome for one, too time-consuming for two and requiring too much attention to detail for three."

    n "It's usually like this. When you have “nothing to do,” you do nothing even if you could."

    nvl clear

    n "As expected, mom calls me and I end up promising to see if I can a train ticket for tomorrow or failing that, the day after."

    n "Maybe I'll go downtown tomorrow anyway. I could do some shopping or something."

    n "It's not that I need anything, but maybe there are summer sales and I could pick up… something."

    n "…Why am I trying to force myself?"

    n "Before, I was content with having nothing to do, save for kicking the ball every now and then at the field."

    n "Now it seems that I can't settle down at all."

    n "Is it because I have changed, or because my world has changed?"

    nvl clear

    n "By eleven, the darkness beckons sleep."

    n "The medication bottles are innocuously arranged on my night table, not at all beckoning, rather pointedly reminding me of the reality instead."

    n "It's evening so I have to open three bottles, extract one large oval-shaped one, two small round ones and one large round that has to be cut into half, close the bottles and chug down the medications with a chaser of fresh tap water."

    n "The water tastes metallic on my tongue."

    n "I swallow it along with the pills anyway and head to the bathroom."

    n "The mindless job of brushing my teeth is fit for trying to sort my thoughts."

    n "One emerges from the mass, clearly rising above the others."

    n "I want to see Rin."

    n "I can't let my outburst of anger be the last thing between us before the vacation."

    n "I have to see her, tomorrow."

    nvl clear

    centered "Sleep overcomes my confused mind with more ease than it should."

    return

label en_R36:

    #Hisao's room, rain falling outside of the window

    "Rain is falling on my summer vacation like an uncountable number of small bad omens."

    "Luckily, I'm not superstitious but the bad weather makes me downcast too."

    "It's been like this since the morning, and there is no end in sight."

    "An impenetrable grey mass of clouds shadows the sky as much as it shadows my mood."

    "In a bout of defiance, I finished cleaning up in the morning, but after that was done I ended up staring out of the window in the hopes of the weather clearing."

    "The incessant drumming of rainfall against the roof and the pavement is mesmerizing, a drowning background noise to lose your mind into."

    "…"

    "……"

    "This won't do, I have to get a move on."

    "Should I pack now, or later?"

    "I decide on the latter and make my way outside, pausing briefly on Kenji's door to listen to the odd clunking sounds from the other side."

    "I don't dare to knock out of the fear of finding out what he is doing."

    "Braving the rain from under my trusty umbrella, I cross the plaza to senior girls' dorm."

    "Knocking on Rin's door yields no answer, but the door behind me opens instead."

    emi "Hisao?"

    emi "Terrible weather. I even missed the morning jog."

    "She frowns, but I would be glad if I was her. Emi's morning jogs are anything but leisurely."

    hi "Oh, hi, I was—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    emi "If you're looking for Rin, I don't think she is there."

    hi "Have you seen her for a while?"

    emi "Yeah, just this morning when I woke her up."
    "The mention of waking up makes Emi yawn like a cat, and me feel silly."

    "Of course she has seen Rin. Emi wakes her up and helps her get dressed on most mornings, even makes her lunch boxes every now and then."

    "They are like sisters, even though they seem to have nothing in common."

    "I wonder which one is the elder sister? Probably Emi, against all odds."

    "She is really diligent even though she gives the feeling of someone who would be a total airhead."

    "Why does it feel odd that she is so dutiful under that cheery grin of hers?"

    emi "She left for the gallery a few hours ago… hey, are you listening?"

    "Maybe I'm making a funny face or something, since Emi tilts her face quizzically, looking at me with her eyes round and inquisitive."

    emi "Hmm?"

    "Her innocent face seems to request my attention."

    hi "Yeah, I'm listening… "

    hi "Hey, can I ask you something?"

    emi "Sure!"

    "I try to quickly formulate my thoughts into a form that can be spelled out as a question."

    hi "I've been wondering… why do you take so much care of Rin?"

    "The question is met with a puzzled stare and a nervous giggle."

    emi "Huh? Umm, I don't know… Is it weird?"

    "She scratches her head confusedly, as if the thought had never occurred to her before."

    emi "I guess I just like to do things like that?"

    emi "And Rin would be in trouble if someone didn't keep an eye on her."

    emi "She's always such an airhead, you know? Really unreliable."

    "I smile equally much at Emi's huffing and the precise characterization of her friend."

    hi "Yeah."

    hi "Well, I guess it can't be helped."

    emi "I guess not. So hey, can I ask you a question in return?"

    hi "Yeah, of course."

    "She furrows her brow, licking her lips as if to prepare for something."

    emi "Why do you care so much about Rin?"

    emi "I mean, you probably hang around her more than I do, and we even slept in same bed sometimes until, er, lately."

    hi "After she banned you because you ravaged her hair?"

    "A shock of horror widens Emi's eyes at least twicefold, making them seem even more saucer-like than usual while a healthy blush rises on her cheeks and ears."

    emi "She told?! Ohhh… I'm going to strangle that Rin or something other horrible…"

    "I hold back my laughter, lest she direct her disdain on me."

    "Emi doesn't, and recuperates quickly from the embarrassment and seems to forgive Rin in the same instant, getting her focus back on me."

    emi "Anyway, are you in love with her or something?"

    "Uh oh. This really feels like an elder sister questioning a suitor. Emi is kinda nosy, and not in a good happy way, if there even is one to begin with."

    "She'd make a good partner for Misha, to be honest. The horror."

    hi "That's already your second question, so I don't think I have to answer."

    "I try to conjure up a front made of pure, crystallized cool and uninvolved."

    "I wonder whether I manage to fool even myself."

    "At least Emi is wagging her eyebrows dangerously, with a nasty smirk on her lips."

    emi "Is that a yes?"

    hi "No, it's not a yes."

    "Obviously unsatisfied at my refusal to answer her way too intimate question, she has enough sense to back off."

    "Doesn't stop her from sticking out her tongue at me like a kid, and giggling again."

    emi "If that's your answer, I don't think I have to talk with you anymore."

    "It's easy to see that she's not really angry."

    emi "Besides I'll have to go pack now. Mum will be worried if I miss my bus."

    emi "Seeya!"

    hi "Yeah, bye."

    "She retreats back into her room, leaving me alone in the hallway."

    "It was the first time I talked about anything even bordering substantial with Emi. She can be serious too, I just wish she didn't have to be serious with me."

    "What's between me and Rin is not her business, right?"

    "That's why I ended up not saying anything about our fight to Emi. Rin must have not said anything either."

    "I guess… even though they are friends, there are things they don't talk about."

    "…"

    "So, if Rin is at the gallery, I'd have to go all the way there."

    "Now that I managed to get out of my room, I suppose it's not that much of a bother to go downtown."

    "I could go get a ticket, but the train back home will have to wait, at least for tomorrow."

    "No way I'm going to carry luggage to the train station in this rain, even if there's not that much of it."

    #change to town, raining

    "Rain makes all outlines seem very unstable, as if they were fading away."

    "The townscape turns into a shapeless collection of various fuzzy tones of gray, instead of distinct forms of buildings and cars."

    "Those poor souls who are forced into the downpour try to make as much haste as they possibly can, pitying each other for their shared misery."

    "I turn around the final corner, the 22nd corner so to say, and immediately feel stupid for being amused by my own pun."

    "The door beckons me with promises of warmth."

    "Rainwater dripping from my umbrella makes interesting, almost artistic patterns on the floor."

    "I am not wet, apart from my shoes that leave small puddles in my wake, completing the rainwater-artwork."

    "Teacher is here too, chatting with Sae at the back of the gallery. Rin's nowhere to be seen though."

    "Maybe she's upstairs."

    "There are no customers though, which figures, considering the bucketloads of water dropping on the neck of anyone daring to stick it outside today."

    "The small bell connected to the door alerts the adults from their chattering."

    sa "Welcome."

    hi "Hello. Sorry to interrupt…"

    no "Ah, good afternoon Nakai."

    no "Came all the way here for a visit?"

    hi "Ah… no, I think it was just an impulse. I was around the neighbourhood, shopping, and decided to stop by."

    "My reflexive reaction is a white lie, which surprises myself."

    "Maybe I just don't want to say that I came specifically to see Rin, even though that much must be obvious."

    sa "My, you chose a bad day for shopping. Would you like some tea to warm you up?"

    hi "Thank you, but I'm fine really."

    hi "The weather could be better though. Rain on the first day of the vacation is a bit depressing."

    no "Hahaha! Well, I'm sure it'll get better."

    "Nomiya offers his hearty laughter, bordering on abrasive."

    "He goes on to take a few light steps besides Rin's paintings, like in some gruesome imitation of the Swan Lake."

    hi "Rain doesn't get you down, teacher?"

    no "Well, I do prefer clear weather as well. I was actually leaving just now to meet someone and I'd prefer not getting my jacket soaked. It was expensive."

    no "But of course I'm on a good moood!"

    no "What did you think about the opening? It was wonderful, wasn't it?"

    hi "Yeah, it was very fancy."

    "My unenthusiastic answer only spurs him to carry on, walking around the gallery while blabbering about the opening."

    "He talks more, and louder when he is moving. It's something I've noticed at the club meetings too."

    no "We got to talk with many good people and make valuable contacts."

    no "One of Tezuka's paintings got sold even, to a collector from Osaka."

    "I follow his eyes to an empty space in the wall. I can't even remember which painting was hanging on that spot."

    "Well, it's gone now."

    no "It was lucky that she was all right despite that dizzy spell."

    no "She got a little quiet though, so I told her to rest well .Then again she's always been pretty shy."

    "Shy? Whatever, I just nod along with the teacher."

    no "The reception was very positive in general. I might be able to get one of my friends to write a little article on a magazine to—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    sa "Shinichi, your meeting. You're making Mr. Takahashi wait."

    "Sae's remark makes him stop on his tracks and check his wristwatch."

    "Teacher frowns in displeasure of the interruption to his tirade."

    no "Oh, right. Yes, well I'll be off then. We'll meet in September, Nakai."

    hi "Bye."

    "Wow. Teacher really doesn't hold back when it comes to Rin's budding artist career."

    "I guess it takes a lot to succeed, but I suppose his job would be easier if Rin was more cooperative."

    "She's too indecisive even though she's doing just fine. Like that “dizzy spell” from the night before"

    "She just got freaked out or something, and I didn't do anything to help her."

    "Sigh."

    "It feels like the gap between me and Rin is only widening."

    "She's going to become something great while I'm still feeling like I'm in a standstill, despite promising myself to try and make something of my life."

    "On top of that, we had that fight and the longer we keep not talking, the harder the wounds become to heal."

    "If that even is what we want. I never found out what Rin felt, and now I'm not sure what I feel myself."

    "I wish I could understand her. But Rin is not very open for interpretation."

    "Not that she's hiding anything, she just seems to defy my attempts at making sense of what she is talking about on any given day."

    sa "Something on your mind?"

    "I realize I've been spacing out in the middle of the gallery for who knows how long."

    hi "Ahh… nothing special…"

    "I pretend to study the closest paintings to distract her."

    "I've seen it before."

    "The now all too familiar strokes of colour, twisting and melting into each other seemingly randomly still manage to feel like there is something happening behind the scenes, so to speak."

    "Rin's style is so much like her. Abstract, incomprehensible, colourful."

    "Mysterious."

    "I wonder, if to understand an artist, one must understand the art?"

    hi "Umm… I might have a question."

    sa "Oh?"

    "She looks up from the magazine she was idly leafing through, seeming delighted at my display of unspecified interest."

    hi "How do you interpret art?"

    sa "What do you mean?"

    "Her eyebrows rise high into questioning arcs as if the question was too complicated to even being to answer without clarifications of no minor significance."

    hi "Sorry if I'm asking something stupid."

    hi "I don't think I really understand art like the pros do."

    sa "Oh, there's no trick to it."

    "Sae waves my question away with a simple but efficient flick of her wrist."

    sa "Everyone interprets art as they will, and the interpretations are as much in the eye of the beholder as they are in the intentions of the creator."

    sa "“Pros” have their own way, because there is this thing called the art theory."

    sa "There are patterns in art, just like in everything, and we assume that it's possible to draw some conclusions from observing those patterns."

    "Her voice is like a teacher's, lecturing and adding emphasis on random words to keep the listeners on their toes."

    sa "In the end, I suppose it's pretty meaningless."

    "She moves to musing seemingly to herself, muttering loud enough for me to clearly hear."

    sa "A good piece of art will make you feel something and that's all there is to it."

    sa "Feelings change and they affect the art we create and the art we see."

    hi "But…"

    sa "I'll tell you a story."

    hi "Do you have to? The last one was depressing…"

    sa "It's important. Listen…"

    sa "About a hundred years ago a little known painter got news that his friend, a man called Casagemas had committed suicide."

    sa "This happened while he was away and hadn't seen his friend for a while."

    sa "So obviously he must have felt even more conflicted than you normally would after hearing of such a thing."

    sa "For four years after that, our main character did nothing but monochromatic paintings because he was so deeply affected by the news."

    sa "Whatever he did, he always kept returning to that same color until it let him out of its grasp."

    "She keeps a little pause to check whether I'm still following."

    "I am to an extent, so I give her the prompt that storytellers seem to live for."

    hi "So…"

    "It's hard to continue from that, as I can't seem to come up with the question she wants me to come up with."

    "Like a half-baked Socrates, she thought she laid out all the tools for revelation in front of me."

    sa "Don't you see the point yet?"

    "Only, her student proved to be too dense to get it."

    "She looks discontent at my slowness."

    sa "Picasso's Blue Period is one of the most lauded in the history of art, but who knows what he felt when he worked on those masterpieces?"

    sa "Sadness? Longing? Regret?"

    sa "Nobody can tell."

    sa "If you now see one of his Blue Period paintings, you'd probably interpret it differently than before you knew about Picasso's friend Casagemas."

    sa "Experiencing art is always personal, only interactive by chance or circumstances."

    sa "There are a million explanations for any given piece of art, but it might be that none of them are what the creator intended."

    sa "No man is an island, you know?"

    "I nod without understanding what that last remark meant."

    "What she said made sense otherwise, except for one thing."

    "If art is communication like Rin said, but everyone is talking their own secret language like Sae said, what can anyone ever hope to communicate?"

    "It seems so futile, and pointless."

    "Art really is not a thing for me."

    "Sae returns to her art magazine and I make a round in the gallery, trying to see what Rin can see in her own paintings."

    "A soothing mood takes hold of the gallery surrounded by the rainstorm, the big windows making the transparent isolation feel more comfortable."

    "A tinkle of the bell disrupts the tranquil mood."

    "Rin pushes the door open with her shoulder and steps in."

    "I had almost forgotten that she was the reason I came to the gallery in the first place."

    rin "I think I'm ready—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    "She pauses midsentence, noticing my presence."

    "The needle-dropping silence lasts for exactly one and a half seconds, not enough for either me or Sae to open our mouths, but enough for Rin to react."

    rin "I'm going for a walk."

    "Heading back outside with reckless pace uncharacteristic of herself, Rin seems to forget that it's still raining."

    "Without giving it any real though, I grab my umbrella and hurry after her."

    "I catch Rin around the corner, opening the umbrella and lift it above the two of us while still having to almost run to keep up with her."

    "She doesn't protest me running after her nor me giving her shelter against the rain, eventually slowing her pace down so I can match it without an immediate danger of overexerting myself."

    "I reel down from the rush, assessing the situation."

    "The last time I held my umbrella to guard both of us against the rain, I didn't think too much about it."

    "But now, all the things that happened between back then and now are gathering into a freezing cold ball around my stomach."

    "Being close to her makes me uncomfortable, and I feel myself flustering slightly."

    "It's hard to get words out of my mouth, as it feels suddenly very very dry."

    "Still, it's not like I can back off."

    hi "Why do you keep running away?"

    rin "I don't want to talk to you."

    hi "I want to talk to you."

    rin "It hurts every time I do."

    hi "Sometimes it can't be helped."

    rin "I don't want to hurt."

    hi "Fine. We don't have to talk."

    rin "What should we do?"

    hi "Let's just keep walking."

    rin "Just walking?"

    hi "Just walking."

    rin "Okay."

    return

label en_R37:

    "Splish splash our footsteps go in the shallow puddles forming on the streets as we walk through the rainfall."

    "Rin, walking besides me in her unhurried and relaxed manner, doesn't seem to be even a bit bothered by the fact that she is getting wet even though she needn't to."

    "She is partially out of the protective shelter of my umbrella despite it being more than big enough for the two of us."

    "It's as if she doesn't even notice the rain drenching her shirt."

    "…"

    "Rin's demeanor always evokes mental images of meditative calm, even when she might be in inner turmoil."

    "But I don't think that is meditation. That is just getting soaked in a rain."

    "I wish I could be more calm too."

    "I've become too involved with Rin to retain my usual neutrality."

    "It feels like I have become one of those people who fool themselves to think they are objective, only to find out they are the worst kind of liars."

    "Illusions to fool ourselves, what better way to make one feel like a good person?"

    "It might be better to lose that illusion."

    hi "I'll be going back home for some time so I thought I'd came to see you before that."

    "I could've thought of a better conversation opener, but Rin actively refusing to talk makes it hard."

    rin "That's good. I might have thought that you'd be kidnapped otherwise."

    hi "You can't keep running away from everything. Not even me trying to talk seriously."

    rin "I told you. I'm always serious. Also I seem to be running very slowly right now."

    rin "Maybe I should take lessons from Emi."

    "It's futile. Like talking to a brick wall that randomly spouts sarcastic nonsense back at you."

    hi "Think of your exhibition opening. What if you had ran away?"

    "Rin doesn't answer to that, she just keeps walking. Or running slowly, escaping me into her silence."

    "She has a knack for being alone in company, I've noticed."

    "We head down the street, then turn left, then three times right, then left again."

    "It's like that night from some time ago, we keep choosing directions randomly because it doesn't matter where we are going."

    "All that matters is walking and the sound of raindrops drumming against the umbrella."

    "Water flows down from the roofs of the buildings and into the storm drains in wide rivers."

    "Even though I try to step over them, my feet are getting wet through my shoes."

    "We keep walking in silence that just begs to be broken again. I'm sure I am the only one feeling like this, though."

    hi "Why did you have the exhibition?"

    "Rin just shrugs sullenly and looks to the other direction. I give up at this point."

    "It's pointless."

    "What did she want to accomplish? What she said at the night of the opening made me feel that there was something…. something special she wanted."

    "It felt to me that Rin hoped for something unattainable."

    "She set the bar high and inside her own head, she failed no matter how much people liked her works."

    "It's understandable to lack realism, most people do, even if it's not quite on the extreme level Rin has taken it."

    "But it's not a reason to live in your private world that accepts no visitors."

    "You can't bend the world to fit your twisted, megalomaniac cosmology where everything works just like you want."

    "That's what frustrates me in Rin the most."

    "She wants the world to live by her rules, disregarding everything that conflicts with those as irrelevant or unnecessary."

    "I can't believe how anyone in Yamaku could not have the bare minimum perception to understand that the world can sometimes be very unfair."

    "I'm sure she's not the only one who wishes some things were differently, but at least we can grasp the facts as they are."

    "I take a sideways glance at Rin, who is watching up to our dome-shaped cover that is a poor replacement for a real sky in its monochrome bleakness."

    "The rain just keeps falling."

    "Just like the clouds today, Rin doesn't really give the feeling of wanting to be watched."

    "She sulks, in unison with the sky that she loves so."

    "I shouldn't have come. Her presence only reminds me how angry I got because of these exact same reasons, and how those reasons probably can never change."

    "Even though I want to say I'm sorry, even though I don't want us to break apart, I can't bring myself to say either of these things."

    "We keep measuring the rain-drenched streets one step at a time."

    "Often, when you walk with someone else, your steps become synchronized as if through some weird subconscious pact."

    "I noticed that ours never do."

    "Time passes, and strikes against the drum skin of my umbrella fade as the clouds above slowly disperse to reveal a cerulean blue."

    "Eventually the rain yields enough for me to close the umbrella, shaking the excess water off before I do."

    "While I wrestle with the mechanism, Rin stops so abruptly that I take five steps before realizing that she's not with me anymore."

    "Stupid umbrella seems to be jammed."

    "When I turn around, I find her staring at me with an impassive face."

    rin "I wanted someone to say “I understand how you feel.”"

    rin "Wouldn't that be great?"

    "Is that an answer to the question from before? I'm not sure."

    hi "Yeah… but why is it so important?"

    rin "Because otherwise… I don't know if I can bear this."

    "I was still in the middle of folding my umbrella together so I just answered something to get the conversation going, but what she says now freezes my blood."

    rin "If someone says a funny and laughs, you laugh with them, right? Because a joy doubled is a joy tripled, right?"

    rin "If someone is hurt and sad, you comfort and hug them right? Because that way—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "…"

    "She pauses, her mouth still halfway open, then remembers to close it."

    "A gloom sets on her face simultaneously with my heart."

    rin "I don't know why the right words never come out."

    rin "I don't know why I can laugh only when I make myself."

    rin "I don't know why everything stays only inside me, even when it feels like I'm going to burst."

    "Her flat, expressionless face does not waver even when she says that."

    "The usual steady voice becomes only slightly quieter than normal."

    rin "But who… who would ever want to feel like that?"

    "Rin looks at me and I imagine the sadness reflecting from her eyes, whether it really is there or not."

    rin "I don't."

    rin "I don't want to feel like that."

    "We stay silent for a little while after that."

    "Rin because she said all she has to say at once, me because I have no clue how to process what she just said."

    "I don't understand what Rin is saying. Or I do, but I don't want to."

    "For the first time both of these things happen, and it has to be simultaneously."

    "The irony is not lost on me."

    hi "I… think everyone wants to be understood. That's universal."

    hi "But… that is impossible. Not only for me, but for anyone."

    hi "Sae said so too."

    hi "You affect other people and are affected by them, but in the end, you see everything the way only you do."

    hi "All people… are alone. We just use each other to alleviate that loneliness."

    "I wonder why I put it like that. It just felt that what Sae told me rang true, as if I had always thought like that without knowing it."

    "It feels like she articulated my thoughts in clear, simple words and that stupid story about Picasso."

    "Rin droops her head like a withering flower, letting her bangs fall in front of her eyes so that I can't see them."

    rin "Why do you say that when you made me feel otherwise?"

    rin "It's unfair."

    "The shaky voice that says those words does not belong to Rin."

    rin "I really thought you could be different. That I wouldn't have to be alone."

    "It's a bitter voice of disappointment, spoken through clenched teeth and a quivering chest."

    hi "I'm sorry…"

    rin "If you are, why do you say something unfair like that?"

    "Her demanding tone invokes no particular feeling in me, apart from sadness that has been there since yesterday evening."

    "She doesn't intimidate me at all. Not anymore."

    "Rin is not a prodigal art genius, an unpredictable idiot savant who could tear the logic lobe of my brain into shreds whenever she opened her mouth."

    "She is just a girl that I thought I loved, a loved one who wanted to be my friend, a friend who I let down."

    hi "I say that, because saying otherwise would feel like lying."

    rin "Why?"

    "Simple questions are the hardest ones. I have to close my eyes so I can focus my thoughts enough to answer her."

    hi "I'm no artist. I can never be on the same level with you."

    hi "There is a world only you can see, and to be part of it I would have to become you."

    hi "That's something I can't do, no matter how much you wish me to."

    "Rin takes in my explanation without batting an eyelash."

    rin "I'm not a real artist either."

    rin "I just paint because it makes me feel like I can really feel something."

    "She holds her breath for a while before releasing it in a long, sigh-like flow."

    rin "That's why I'll do it."

    rin "I have decided. I'll do it. If even Hisao says that, then that's what I will do."

    hi "Do what?"

    "Rin startling a little tells that she had regressed into talking to herself again, but I'm glad I can snap her back even now."

    rin "Teacher and Sae had talked with someone who is a very important person . I got a scholarship for a big art school in Tokyo."

    rin "He said I could transfer there and start after the summer is over if I wanted to."

    rin "I don't really get why—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    hi "Hold on, what? Why didn't you tell?"

    rin "I just did. You are the first one I told because I decided it just now."

    "She keeps her natural cool, looking only mildly surprised at my shocked interjection."

    "It's ridiculous how easily she can say something so lifechanging."

    "I can't believe it. After what happened in February, I have had enough change for this year."

    "Even if things are going badly right now, I don't want everything to change."

    hi "But, what about Yamaku? Don't you want to graduate with everyone?"

    "My plea evokes no emotion."

    rin "Everyone who?"

    hi "Emi, me, everyone!"

    "I feel my pulse rising unnervingly, and my breathing becomes fast and shallow."

    "I don't want this to happen."

    rin "Their life is not mine."

    rin "You just said that everyone is alone."

    hi "I didn't mean it like that—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "You always said that you'd have to seize the day and start living your life."

    rin "I have to live my life too."

    "Rin is twisting my words to justify running away again. It makes me angry."

    "Her ease, finality and seriousness in announcing this is unacceptable."

    "As if changing your life is something you can do on a moment's whim! No!"

    hi "How can you say that? Why don't you even try to belong?"

    "The desperate accusation has no effect. It feels once again that I am out of weapons, that I can't reach through to her no matter what I try."

    "Rin is so frustratingly absolute in her own judgement that it might make me hate her if I didn't love her, even though I don't know which one I am feeling anymore."

    rin "Maybe I am that kind of a person. The kind that belongs only to herself."

    hi "I won't accept that."

    "Her nonchalant eyes do not seem to care whether I accept her decision or not."

    "…"

    "The pause lets me cool down, to find my sensibilities."

    "While I do, the parting rainclouds reveal a setting sun that still has time to shine the few last warming rays before calling it a day."

    "A mosaic of light and shadow spreads on the walls of the buildings, on the street and the fence circling a park on the other side of the street."

    "Rin's shadow is long enough to reach my feet."

    "It's like from one of those western movies, with two cowboys staring each other down, ready to sling their guns at each other."

    "The one who loses his nerve will bite lead."

    "I realize I would have the disadvantage because the sun is behind Rin, stinging my eyes."

    rin "Do you hate me?"

    "She draws first and I have no counter."

    hi "I don't know."

    "Did I lose?"

    hi "Even if I did, what would it matter?"

    "I scramble for words, words that could salvage this. I find none."

    hi "You are my friend, I promised you that. I am not the kind of guy who forgets about promises."

    hi "I think, that is the most important thing. We could try to—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "Don't say it."

    "Predicting what I was going to say, Rin throws herself into my arms, pressing her body against mine."

    "I feel her raising to her tiptoes to match my height and snuggle closer."

    "The scent of her hair is that of rain and paint thinner. Her body feels as cold as always. Her breathing against my neck is as hot as always."

    "It's funny how all of those feel so familiar even though Rin, as a whole, does not."

    rin "Are you sure you can't hate me?"

    "Rin whispers into my ear so close I can feel the movements of her lips against my earlobe."

    "It's teasing, taunting. If this was some other kind of situation I'm sure it would tickle tantalizingly and I would giggle even though I'm a guy."

    rin "It would be easier if you did."

    hi "Dunno. It's pretty hard when you are hugging me like that."

    "I wonder if it's because of my sullen voice, but she takes a step back, looking wistfully at her short arms."

    "I wish she hadn't done that."

    rin "I can't hug anyone, Hisao."

    rin "I'm a bad person like that."

    rin "That's why I have to go."

    "She disarms me completely with three simple sentences, rendering me unable to argue anymore."

    "And since I can't, Rin is free to continue as she wills, shifting her weight from one feet to the other before she does."

    rin "I will learn to hug people in my own way."

    rin "I'm sure I can become a real artist."

    rin "But if I do… I might not be able to be me anymore."

    "The hint of a smile on her lips is a betrayal, a false sign of self-confidence in a future that even Rin can't foresee."

    "I'd want to interpret it as a sign of hope, but I know better."

    "Rin just keeps smiling that awkward, forced smile of hers."

    rin "That's why… please forget about me and I will forget about you too."

    rin "I'm sure that—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    "She chokes in the middle of saying something I would never come to hear."

    "I don't think I'd wanted to hear it anyway."

    "This is not fair."

    "Rin is not joking. Rin is always serious. But I can't accept it, I can't."

    "Forget about you? How could I ever…?"

    "That's what I'd like to say. But I don't know how I would continue. I can't come up with anything good to say, so I have to challenge her."

    hi "How can you say such a thing?"

    "Rin raises her eyes to meet mine, they are serious and deep, a perfect image of the uncharted territory I always thought they were."

    "Even now, I can't read her emotions from those unblinking, obsidian irises that never could reflect what they saw."

    rin "It's easy. After all, I am good at forgetting things."

    "…"

    "Her unfairness is choking my throat, but I manage to utter the question burning my mind."

    hi "So, is this it? Is this goodbye?"

    "…"

    "Rin kept looking at me gently, without answering my question."

    "From her eyes I could see that she didn't even need to say anything."

    "There were no more words for us."

    "She turned around and walked off without looking back."

    "All around me, the world kept changing, little by little, but I was left standing there."

    "The sun dropped below the horizon, casting long and thin shadows across the street."

    "In the waning light, Rin's distancing back seemed to be like from a faraway dream."

    "The gap between us grew slowly."

    "The ripples on the puddles she stepped on expanded until they met the limits of their tiny existence and disappeared without a trace."

    "Her words stayed frozen deep inside my heart."

    return


label en_end_rinbad:
    # Rin bad end, after R37
    scene black with dissolve
    centered "~ rin bad end ~" with dissolve
    return

label en_R38:

    #this scene picks up from the end of R34, as you might've guessed.

    "She's standing in the middle of the sunlit room, peering through the gaps of the curtains out into the yard."

    "Like so often before, she doesn't start or jump, just calmly waits for me to make the first move."

    "It's as if she is trying to become a permanent part of the furniture."

    hi "The teacher is looking for you."

    "A blank look over her shoulder is all I get, accompanied by a cryptic nonexpression on her face."

    rin "Are you looking for me too?"

    hi "Nah, I already found you, didn't I?"

    rin "Did you?"

    "She furrows her brow, looking so puzzled that it makes me wonder if the question was asked in all seriousness."

    "Maybe it was."

    hi "Are you talking metaphorically now?"

    rin "Do you mean like eels, caves and dark, stormy nights?"

    rin "I am bad at talking like that."

    "…"

    "The abruptly-ended greetings give me the chance to close the door behind me and sit down on a dust-covered desktop."

    "Rin stays standing, but at least she turns around."

    "I soon wish she didn't though, so oppressive is the expectant stare of hers."

    "This is her place and I'm an intruder although a permitted one. Despite that, she still waits for me to say something."

    "If I only knew what."

    "…"

    "The sunlit silence presses me towards decisions."

    "I came here without really thinking what I would do, apart from delivering Nomiya's short message in case Rin was here."

    "She was, and now I don't know what else I want to say… what else I should say?"

    "I hover between my two options for a moment."

    "Rin being troubled troubles me too. It's a surprising revelation, almost as big as was realizing that she really is troubled."

    "Nothing I can do would probably help, and I might be partially to blame too."

    "Does it mean I should just wash my hands of her?"

    "Didn't think so."

    hi "So… what's wrong?"

    "…"

    rin "Nothing."

    "She starts to turn away again, as if trying to physically exit a conversation she doesn't want to have."

    hi "Rin, stop trying to dodge me or I'll leave."

    rin "Okay."

    hi "Do you want me to leave?"

    rin "Are you still angry?"

    "It took us—or was it only me?—ten seconds to swamp the conversation into this."

    "I wish we could erase the past, or failing that, forget all about it."

    "I've wished for that more than once in the last few months."

    hi "Let's put that aside for the time being, all right?"

    rin "If you say so."

    hi "I do. So… what's wrong?"

    hi "Sae and Nomiya were not too happy that you just ran off yesterday."

    hi "You left them in quite a pinch, and I suppose the teacher wants some kind of an explanation."

    hi "It seemed like you just threw out everything you had worked for. And I don't get why."

    rin "Did I make a mistake?"

    "My reprimanding and her flat answer go so much against the usual expectations and presumed interactions that it might just as well be some other people talking."

    "Neither of us is like we used to be, this stiff, constricting feeling I nowadays get every time I look at Rin seems to be mirrored in her own behaviour."

    "I hate things that go wrong irreparably. Ever since February, I have."

    "What can I say?"

    "Her question is trailed by a compelling, quizzical stare, that makes me sigh and frown."

    "Conversations nobody wants to have are the worst."

    hi "I don't know. I mean, it's not the end of the world but it was probably pretty stupid."

    "She responds with a sigh of her own, although hers is not nearly as heavy as mine was."

    rin "I just couldn't do it."

    hi "But… why? What's wrong?"

    "A pause, a furrowed brow, a quiet voice."

    rin "Let it be, Hisao."

    rin "I don't think I can really explain it in a way that would make sense."

    "Yeah, Rin doesn't want to have this conversation either. Maybe better so."

    "But how rare of her, to admit that even she has some kind of limits."

    "I always thought Rin was all but ignorant of her tendencies to get distracted so much that she inadvertedly obfuscates everything she says."

    "…"

    hi "You never explain {b}anything{/b} in a way that would make sense."

    rin "Nobody else has ever asked me to."

    #I don't know if there should be emphasis for the following to underline the fact that he is doing the "conversation" inside his head. NVL?

    "I guess that's how it is."

    "But, I always wanted to make sense of you, to find out who you are."

    "I still want to, can't you see?"

    "…"

    "I know you can't."

    "But I do."

    "Is that why I keep this up? It pains you as much as it pains me. It's unlikely to be of any use to either."

    "We did things and said things that can't be undone."

    "It's as if… you and me being close to each other just hurts us both, but we still keep deliberately doing it."

    "Isn't that silly?"

    "Even now, I can see how you force yourself to respond even though you owe me nothing."

    "Even if it's hard to talk about things like this."

    "Why?"

    hi "Why is it that you paint?"

    rin "I… because I don't know what else I could do."

    rin "It's like this feeling that there is no choice, that it's the only possibility."

    rin "Like when there are only watermelon flavoured popsicles left in the store but you need to eat a popsicle."

    "Her poor metaphor aside, she didn't really answer anything. If possible, this makes even less sense than not knowing."

    hi "But… if you don't want to paint…"

    rin "Not like that. You had to come to this school even though you probably didn't want to have a heart attack."

    "She pauses, frowning as if something in what she said didn't please her."

    rin "At least I think you wouldn't."

    "Her careful follow-up is followed in turn by another, shorter pause with another, smaller frown."

    rin "Would you like to have a heart attack?"

    hi "No, I wouldn't and I didn't want to."

    rin "But you're doing fine, aren't you? Or are you still sad about it?"

    "Rin's question makes me realize that I haven't really thought about my illness for weeks."

    "Apart from chugging down my medication every day, there has been no need to concern myself with my broken heart, of which I'm only thankful really."

    "Getting to know new people, a new school, a new town…. a new life, it all has caught me and made the past fade away."

    hi "No… heh, I guess even I can't dwell on the past indefinitely."

    rin "See? Even watermelon doesn't really taste bad if you have to eat it."

    "Her half-nonsensical closure seems to put an end to the subject in Rin's mind, so I just nod in uncertain confirmation."

    "…"

    "…"

    "There are two kinds of silences, awkward ones that you want to break, and comfortable ones that you don't mind."

    "The first kind is bad, because it makes your thoughts go awry. Like mine do, now."

    "Looking at Rin makes me feel bad."

    "I don't want to feel like this."

    " Looking at Rin makes me feel… exhausted. I really tried my best, she tried to… I have no idea."

    "But we ended up like this, and she ended up screwing up her exhibition opening."

    "It feels like we are at a dead end."

    "There is no direction to continue to."

    "I reached out for her yesterday, thinking it would be the last time."

    "She walked away."

    "“I want to be me.”"

    "What the heck does that even mean? Rin, if anyone, most definitely is herself."

    "I feel kinda relieved that I am not the one to blame, but this still grates my mind."

    "Why did she run away? It didn't make sense yesterday. It doesn't make sense today."

    "The things she said feel like they should make sense but they just don't, to me."

    hi "You know, about what you just said…"

    rin "Which one of them?"

    hi "Umm…painting… Sae said something like that to me before… that a true artist does not paint because she wants to, but because she {b}must{/b}."

    hi "And I've been wondering about what she said. Why do the artists {b}have{/b} to paint?"

    "My question is probably pretty stupid. At least Rin looks at me in the blank way that seems to say so."

    rin "I don't know. Am I an artist?"

    hi "Well, you paint stuff and you have an exhibition too. I'd say you qualify."

    rin "I think I still don't know, but okay."

    "The thinking pause that follows seems to last for half an eternity."

    "Unlike most people, Rin doesn't flavour her thinking pauses by body language or saying “like” or “umm” or anything."

    "I've noticed that I might prefer her way. The usual way annoys me even, as if people were so infatuated by the sound of their own voice they just have to keep making some noise even when they are just thinking what they could say next."

    "Rin just… comes to a full stop while she is thinking. It's disconcerting, because reacting to people spacing out is always hard, but she comes off as less obnoxious."

    rin "I think I want someone to see what's inside me. Not the way doctors and serial killers do."

    rin "The way that doesn't make me feel lonely."

    rin "This is what you call metaphorical, you see."

    hi "Please don't lecture me about self-evident things."

    rin "It's not self-evident that this is self-evident."

    hi "So, you present a painting to someone and expect him to magically see a glimpse of your soul?"

    rin "It's not like that. It's just a little like that but not really. Don't you understand?"

    hi "I do… and I don't."

    hi "You know, I feel a little bit of despair every time you ask that question."

    rin "What question?"

    hi "About whether I understand you or not."

    "She seems almost surprised at my clarification."

    rin "Oh, it's not really a question. It's one of those kind that you don't have to answer."

    hi "Rhetoric."

    rin "Yeah, that's the word, a question that is not a question is a rhetoric question. How nice."

    rin "That reminds me, it doesn't really make sense. What kind of a question is one that isn't a question?"

    hi "A rhetoric one."

    rin "What kind of an answer is an answer that doesn't answer anything?"

    hi "Is that a rhetoric question?"

    rin "You are not funny."

    rin "But if you don't like it, would you like me to say something else instead?"

    rin "I don't have any good ones though. How about… “Your pants are on fire?”"

    rin "This can be our secret language."

    "Rin's honest-to-goodness silliness, made twice more ridiculous by the fact that I know she is dead serious, derails me like it always does."

    "It's like some kind of a safety lock to prevent me becoming too much of a worrywart, dragging even my own thoughts off the ground where they should be."

    "It makes me smile confusedly, but only on the inside."

    "Even though the corners of my mouth are not drawing into a grin, I'm still impressed by her ease of wrecking any attempt at being too serious."

    "Could she (should she will so) forget and ignore things that bug her, things that bother her?"

    "Could she (should she will so) be free of whatever burden being her means?"

    "Or am I the only one who feels burdened by being myself?"

    hi "No thanks."

    hi "But still, the times I feel that I am on the same page with you are pretty rare."

    hi "It feels like… there is this huge gap and sometimes you just go to the other side, and I don't… have any way to reach to you from where I am."

    hi "It's like you are in some completely different place at times."

    hi "Even though you are right here."

    "That's right."

    "There is an insurmountable discontinuity, an imaginary glass wall that blocks comprehension from happening."

    "There might be such a gap between any two people, but with Rin, it feels more tangible."

    "Rin does not react to my thoughts, not to the ones I uttered aloud nor the ones I did not."

    hi "It's even worse with art."

    hi "I'm not very good at art, I admit it."

    hi "I joined the art club 'cause I thought it could be interesting."

    hi "And I guess it is. I like art, I like your art too, but just like with you, I can't comprehend it."

    hi "And I'm pretty sure nobody really can."

    "This seems to worry her slightly."

    rin "Do you think so?"

    hi "Yeah. I guess, that art is meant to be interpreted, not understood. That's how I'd put it."

    rin "That's a sad thought."

    hi "I guess it might feel like one."

    hi "Does it make you feel sad for yourself?"

    "Rin thinks about this for a while, and then shakes her head surprisingly vehemently."

    "The first thing she focuses on her eyes afterwards is me."

    "Both of these things make me glad, and relieved."

    hi "That's good, isn't it? Anyway, you should go see the teacher and apologize properly."

    hi "I think he is worried about you."

    hi "Can you do that?"

    "This time, she nods her head."

    "Only, it's not as vehement."

    return

label en_R39:

    "The hallway is empty, almost intimidating as such."

    "Nomiya's “office” is the art classroom at the other end of the third floor hallway."

    "Our steps echo disturbingly. The atmosphere is unlike on a normal afternoon. It feels like the school knows too that nobody will be coming back for a month."

    "The door is open, but not very inviting."

    hi "I'll… um, wait outside."

    "Nodding barely noticeably, Rin strides in without stopping, and naturally, without knocking."

    "Maybe that's why it takes a few seconds before I hear the teacher's voice from inside."

    no "There you are!"

    rin "Hello."

    "A conflict arises: should I stay here or go somewhere else?"

    "I'm not sure if I even want to eavesdrop on them."

    "…"

    "Manners lose to curiosity, and so I stay close enough to listen in."

    "Their voices echo in the hallway, but it's of no matter."

    "Save for me, there is nobody around."

    no "Dear girl, what on earth were you thinking, leaving like that on the big night?"

    rin "I couldn't say anything."

    "Compared to Nomiya's scolding tone, Rin sounds awfully quiet and withdrawn."

    "Her words seem to drown under his."

    no "I have to say, I am very disappointed in you, Tezuka."

    rin "It was no good at all."

    no "Never mind all the things I did for you, but what about Sae? What about all the guests who wanted to meet you?"

    rin "There was nobody. Even Hisao…"

    no "You have embarrassed us very badly, Tezuka."

    no "Reputation is what counts, surely you know that?"

    rin "It's all right. I don't need it."

    no "“Don't need!” What do you think you know?"

    "Rin's replies only seem to agitate the teacher more, his voice rising with every sentence."

    no "The path of an artist is a thorny one, I'll tell you that! Thorny!"

    no "You have to see the big picture! There will be bad times and good times!"

    rin "Things are like they are. It'll be all right even—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    no "You might now think that it's oh so wonderful and easy, but how far would you have gotten without me?"

    no "I won't be there for you always!"

    no "When you lie on the floor of your miniscule room, your rent three weeks late, your mind blank for the fourth week straight, then you hope that you would have listened to old Nomiya a bit more."

    no " When you keep measuring how the shadow of your chair becomes longer over the spring because that's all your lethargy allows, maybe that's when you start caring about your career!"

    rin "That doesn't matter."

    no "Your resolution is not enough."

    rin "I am not a resolved person."

    no "You are not a resolved person…"

    no "Then tell me, why… why… WHY DID WE GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE IF IT AMOUNTS TO A MOSQUITO'S SHIT?"

    "Oh dear, the teacher blew a fuse."

    "Him yelling at Rin makes me feel the bystander's guilt. If I had gone with her, maybe he wouldn't have gotten so angry."

    "If I had not let her run away, he wouldn't have gotten angry in the first place."

    "I still could go and save her… I don't think I can."

    "I was the same. I yelled at Rin too, feeling all the more embarrassed about it now."

    "I felt justified to vent my anger at her face just because… just because I felt it was her fault I was so frustrated."

    "I was no more justified than the teacher is."

    "…"

    "A terrible silence sets upon the hallway."

    "Rin does not have anything to say to Nomiya."

    "Whether she has run out of answers or she knows that arguing against would only make him angrier, it's anyone's guess."

    "The teacher has nothing more to say either, it seems, or maybe he just ran out of breath."

    "For a moment, I imagine the two of them just staring at each other, one full of red-hot anger, the other full of… yes, what?"

    "I can't tell how Rin feels, not before, not now."

    "Teacher seems to expect Rin to say something too, but as she doesn't, he finally continues with a calmer, but not less angry voice."

    no "What worth is there to do so much work if the outcome is… nothing?"

    "Still, Rin will not say anything."

    no "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so excited."

    "He does not sound sorry at all. Rather, his tone is cold and sharp, like he was spitting the words out of his mouth."

    no "It seems that I was expecting too much. You are not an artist after all."

    "Yeah, not sorry at all."

    "He storms out of the club room and down the stairs without noticing me."

    "After he is gone, I peek carefully inside the classroom."

    "Rin is left standing there, in front of the teacher's desk."

    rin "I couldn't say I am sorry."

    "She says it into the humid air of the classroom, not to me."

    "But since the room won't answer her, I will have to."

    hi "That was unfair of him… He was angry but still…"

    "I can't decide how to end my sentence. Disdaining the teacher feels like disdaining my own behaviour from two days ago."

    "Stupid, but correct in hindsight."

    "Rin won't answer, staying petrified where she stands, so I walk up to her."

    "She stood up for herself. In a way. I didn't expect that."

    "I can't determine whether it's unbecoming or not, but either way, she did it."

    "Against me, she never did."

    "I sort of wish she had, maybe I would not feel this bad then."

    "Lately, it really seems that I've been wishing for all kinds of things."

    hi "Rin?"

    rin "Go away."

    return

label en_R40:

    #svning whatever I post today is questionable at best because I'm rushing and forcing. This might be pretty bad.

    hi "Why… what are you saying?"

    rin "You're angry with me too, right?"

    rin "I thought you were my friend. I thought he was too."

    "Her voice is unlike I've ever heard it, it's bitter, sharp like needles, and she keeps staring pointedly at her toes."

    hi "I don't think it's about that."

    hi "He wanted you to be something you are not. And…"

    "I take a deep breath and finally catch her eyes in my own, locking our gazes."

    hi "… I'm sorry. I wanted us to be something else too… more than friends."

    hi "Maybe that's why I couldn't contain myself and became so frustrated, just like the teacher did."

    rin "What more? There is nothing more to me than me, that's all I am. I don't understand that."

    "Well… the answer should be obvious, right?"

    "I remember myself, thinking of the purpose of friendship. To put up with everything and anything, to be there for your friend."

    "Did I fail as a friend, thinking it could be a stepping stone for something else?"

    "Maybe because of those thoughts, I didn't manage to put up, to keep it together."

    "As outrageous as Rin is and was, I shouldn't have let myself get caught into it, especially when I started feeling the way I did towards her."

    "So, did I fail?"

    "That's what her eyes seem to ask."

    "…"

    hi "I'm sorry Rin."

    hi "I might not be able to be your friend."

    hi "I don't think I ever could be a good friend to you."

    "I say these things because they are true, not because either of one would like to hear them."

    "But they are something that must be said."

    "The finality of my words creates a shaking silence, for what could either of us add to that?"

    "…"

    rin "Why? Why all this happens?"

    rin "People are doing things I don't ask for and don't want and everyone keeps getting angry at me, I have no idea what is going on anymore and can't stop feeling like I want to run away from everything…"

    "She shuts her eyes tight and breathes out deeply, calmly."

    "When the eyelids open, all I can see is dark green desperation."

    #font big for next line

    rin "I have no idea what's wrong with me!"

    "Her frenetic outburst stupefies me for a moment after she shuts up, and for a heartbeat we just gaze into each others face."

    "Seeing her confused eyes desperately looking for answers from mine only makes me sad because I know I have none."

    hi "I don't know either."

    hi "But you know, you yourself said that things are not right nor wrong."

    hi "They just are."

    hi "You either accept them, work to change them or give up."

    hi "It's not that I hate you, or that teacher does."

    hi "I just… think that I am the kind of person who gives up when he feels he can't go on."

    hi "And even if you hate it, this… this is… how things are."

    "I'm saying pretty cruel things but I can't stop myself, the words keep rolling off my tongue with slow, hard certainty."

    "I can see them hitting Rin almost like physical blows."

    "As the wetness gathers into the corners of her eyes, they are still wide with the shock of rejection."

    "As the tears start rolling down her pale cheeks, she does nothing to stop them."

    "As they fall down on the floor one by one, she stands still, staring at me with a gaze full of hollow disbelief."

    rin "…"

    "But reality catches up."

    "Rin slumps forward as if she was deflating, and buries her face as deep in my shirt as she can."

    "Rin is heavy and featherlight when I support her weight."

    "She doesn't really sob or bawl, just leans against me, letting her tears burn through my shirt into the skin underneath."

    "And I let her, bringing my hand around her shoulders to a clumsy hug that does no good to comfort her."

    "I can feel Rin's vertebrae against my fingertips, like hard and jagged reminders of how messed up things are."

    "Her slim shoulder, quivering against my palm is a pitiable sight, and the hopelessness of being part of the cause for Rin's sadness keeps shredding my heart."

    "It's the most despicable thing to do, to make a girl cry."

    "Even Rin. Especially Rin."

    "Behind that veil of aloofness, Rin is just a human being too."

    "Just as confused, scared and lost as any of us is."

    "Most of the time it seems that there is no rhyme or reason for what Rin does and says, but for once, I think I really understand how she feels."

    "But no words can express it, and no words can make it better."

    "So wordless we are, quietly waiting for her tears to run out."

    "Time passes agonizingly slowly, even the lazy specks of dust floating in the air seem to pause into a standstill."

    "The obligatory round wall clock is ticking distractingly from above the door."

    "I decide against counting the seconds because it would make them feel longer."

    "…"

    "Eventually Rin stirs a little and still smothering herself against my chest, she mutters into my shirt."

    rin "Let me be here for a while."

    rin "Please Hisao."

    rin "Just give me a little while."

    "A soothing calamity spreads into my consciousness, the knowledge that while being here for Rin is all I can do for her, that it's all she wants right now, even after all we've gone through."

    hi "Sure."

    "So she stays there."

    "But still, I can't bring myself to draw her closer so I could embrace her properly."

    "It's because doing so would just make me so sad I don't know if I could bear it."

    "The realization that we might never really be able to become what we want to be for the other crystallizes into my mind as a diamond-hard enlightenment."

    "A pang surges through my heart like an electric shock."

    "It's painful."

    "This clarity… hurts."

    "What can we be for each other? What meaning is there for us to desperately cling to each other even though it seems so futile?"

    "What should I say to Rin? How to make her feel better?"

    "I do not know any of those things, and I fear knowing them would hurt only more."

    "Forcefully, I push all of that out of my mind because I don't want to be thinking of hurtful truths."

    "My thoughts calm down soon enough, the sadness disperses until all that is left is me and Rin, and the tender feeling of her warmth and softness against my chest."

    "When did I fall in love with her?"

    "I can't remember, but I'm certain it was way before the warm touch of her lips on my own, on that orange-colored afternoon when she was sick with cold and I went to see her because of unclear reasons."

    "Her carefree attitude, the air of otherness around her, all the things that make Rin Rin… those things captured me with irresistible force."

    "The way she could take in anything and everything with only the value she herself placed, weighting all things fairly and without prejudice, seeing the world as she wanted."

    "This is something I never could do, and to me Rin probably was more of a muse than anything ever was to her."

    "To me, she seemed to be so free, truly a free spirit and myself, constantly worrying about everything, seemed so inhibited that it was almost embarrassing."

    "Maybe that's why I latched so tightly on Rin, trying to get inside her world that was so different from my own bleak life."

    "And before I noticed it, that irresistible force had pulled me dangerously close to her world, but it turned out to be way too alien for me."

    "And I had forgotten Newton. Of all things."

    "The gravitational force is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the objects…"

    "So if two people feel something for each other…"

    "Heh."

    "Even though feelings are not governed by the constants of the universe, I can't help feeling that for some time now I've been a satellite to Rin's brightly shining planet."

    "Planet Rin."

    "The thought makes me almost laugh, she really does seem to be from another planet at times, sans a green skin and possibly some tentacles."

    "Perhaps because my held-back laughter, Rin pulls away and I let her go, feeling the cold when her warmth goes away, and slight embarrassment for letting my thoughts run wild like that."

    "I credit it as bad influence of Rin's, while being glad at the same time that she can't read thoughts for real."

    "Rin's bitter tears have dried up, and she looks a bit like herself again."

    "The lost look in her eyes is still there though, her gaze wandering around restlessly before stopping at me."

    rin "What happened just now?"

    rin "Can you tell me?"

    hi "What? What do you mean?"

    rin "I cried."

    "She says that hesitantly, as if not believing it herself."

    hi "Yes…"

    "…"

    "She keeps staring at me, as if pleading guidance so that she wouldn't have to feel so lost."

    "…"

    rin "Why?"

    hi "You were sad."

    hi "Is that what you want me to say? But isn't that obvious?"

    rin "I don't know. It feels weird to do it."

    rin "I haven't really before."

    hi "What? I don't believe that. I mean, everyone does. It's nor—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    "I bite my tongue before I finish my argument about normality."

    "Norms do not apply to the person I'm talking to."

    rin "It always felt so wrong, different from what is in me. Like I couldn't really tell what I felt."

    rin "So I started thinking that maybe I don't know what I'm feeling. Maybe it's me who is wrong—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "I thought those kinds of things."

    rin "I thought…that painting was enough because it felt that I did at least those right."

    rin "That all what is inside me could become a picture if I tried really hard. And it could."

    rin "But it doesn't feel like it's enough anymore. Because if nobody else can see that, I will still be alone."

    rin "Was it wrong to try? Everyone got really angry at me for that."
    "I've heard Rin talk that much at once only one time before."

    "Once she finished, she just shut up, looking so neutral that it's hard to believe that she said what she just did."

    "I don't know what to think."

    "…"

    "Rin was desperate for someone to look at her paintings, and somehow see right through them into her soul, to understand her feelings…"

    "Because… she felt she could not express her them in any other way?"

    "How can one say whether that is right or wrong?"

    "Could it be, that all this time she's been trying to reach out for me like I've tried to reach out for her?"

    "…"

    "I sit down on a desk to think, and to rest my legs that kept us both standing for a long while just before."

    hi "You know, when I read a good book or look at a starry sky or whatever, sometimes I too feel something… profound, like a… shoot, I don't know how to describe it."

    hi "But the instant I try to put it into words I feel that I lose something, it doesn't feel as real, as true as it did inside my head."

    hi "It feels a bit phony. Damn, even what I just said felt phony."

    "I offer a smile that is meant to be between funny and self-deprecating, but Rin doesn't react."

    hi "But anyway…"

    hi "It might be that nobody can ever express their true feelings so that others understand."

    hi "Reality has no chance living up to what someone has inside their head."

    hi "Nothing can match that. Not even your paintings, except maybe for you."

    hi "But I suppose you can't keep everything inside, you'd explode for real then."

    hi "What I'm trying to say is… I don't think it's wrong to express your feelings, even if you use painting as your conduit."

    hi "You just can't expect people to understand you any better than they would if you did it any other way."

    hi "In fact, you can't expect people to understand you at all."

    hi "It's because everything is so subjective. You see the world the way you do, but it's different from everyone else."

    rin "But isn't that terrible?"

    hi "I guess it is, in a way."

    "…"

    "She frowns, looking as smitten as she probably can. Which is not much, but it's enough for me to understand that Rin is not particularly happy."

    rin "I think it might make me sad after all."

    hi "Yeah. I know."

    hi "I wish I could do something to help it."

    "I don't sound bitter, I think, even though I am a little."

    "This is my problem. I cannot be what Rin wants for her. And for the same reason, she can't do the same for me either."

    "…"

    "She makes a difficult face, carefully trying to pick words that she wants to say."
    "So Rin has times too when it's hard to say anything."

    rin "It can't be helped, I think."

    rin "…but… if you say that…"

    rin "It makes me feel a little better."

    "…"

    "It's funny how some, seemingly irrelevant things are the most significant ones at times like this."

    "Like how Rin's voice is very very small, barely audible when she says that."

    "And how even her short bangs can cover her eyes when she looks downwards."

    "And how they can't cover the deep red color rising on her cheeks and all the way to the tips of her ears."

    "They turn into a very interesting shade of red."

    "A deafening silence follows."

    "It's very awkward, as if I saw something that wasn't meant to be seen, even if it's not on purpose."

    "I don't know what to say to that, but I keep feeling like I should know."

    "She doesn't either."

    "Still, it feels that there is no momentum to lose even if we keep silent."

    "That we have some weird, wordless connection that would hold even so."

    "Rin keeps shifting her weight from one foot to the other restlessly, looking everywhere around the room except at me."

    "She is the one who finally breaks the spell."

    rin "Can we go? I don't want to stay here."

    hi "Oh, yeah, of course. Where?"

    "My reply is covering my nervousness as badly as her question is covering hers."

    rin "You can go wherever you like. I want to sleep. I haven't really slept for a few weeks."

    rin "It feels like there is a flock of light blue butterflies inside my head. It makes it hard to think properly."

    rin "The kind that you think is too blue to really exist, like Emi's panties this morning."

    "She shakes her head, and I almost expect a couple of ultramarine coloured morphos to pop out of her ears."

    "A small smile tugs the corners of her mouth upwards."

    rin "That reminds me. The blue, not the panties."

    rin "The word for a flock of butterflies is a swarm. I looked it up."

    "This makes my eyebrow rise into a questioning arch."

    hi "Why don't you use it then?"

    rin "I like the other word better."

    "Then why look it up in the first place?"

    hi "Then you should use it, right?"

    "She nods, and falls silent, her gaze escaping mine to the side, attracted by the dark orange sunlight refracting from the windows."

    "We are like that for a little while: me silently looking at her silently looking out of the window."

    hi "Hey… you all right now?"

    "She glances at me from the corner of her eye, looking wistful again. The sunlight's reflection doesn't betray any more of her inner feelings."

    rin "I'll need to think about that."

    "I feel like continuing this conversation, grasping on those straws that she finally revealed to even exist."

    "But Rin is looking out of the window so absentmindedly that I know she won't be responsive in any way that would make sense."

    "It's like some kind of defense mechanism of hers, to avoid being sensible."

    "Her mind is like a butterfly in itself, always fluttering somewhere away whenever it's stirred."

    "Just when I thought I could see behind her veil, she jumps out of my reach again."

    "Maybe that's just how Rin is."

    "Maybe that's something I should just accept to get some peace of mind."

    hi "Okay."

    hi "I'll walk you back to the dorms then."

    rin "Thanks."

    rin "Really."

    #change to hallway

    "The empty hallways of the school devoid of its students feel very lonely."

    "Less than hour after the summer vacation began, the building seems to be all but deserted and all that intrudes the stillness of the hallways is our footsteps."

    "The change is sudden, but it shows how the building is just an empty shell, dead without its students and teachers."

    "It's like the school has become a private world for only the two of us, a desolate place filled with silence and chalk dust."

    rin "I think I have to change."

    "She says it out of the blue while we walk down the staircase from the third floor, still managing to feel like she is mirroring what I was thinking just before."

    hi "That's what people must do, sometimes."

    scene black

    n "That's the last thing we say to each other that day, even though there would be so much to talk about."

    n "And even those words drown in the all-encompassing silence, disappearing into the stagnant air as if they were never said."

    nvl clear

    return

label en_R41:

    "The first day of summer vacation is a disappointment."

    "I woke up. Water came down from the leaden sky in biblical proportions."

    "At the time, I was optimistic."

    "A quick summer shower, I thought. Rains buckets for a few minutes, then it's gone."

    "No such luck."

    "Rainwater is relentlessly pouring down from the blue-gray sky outside of my window, streaming down the glass in small brooks and rivers, gathering together to form miniature ponds in the walkways."

    "Just like it has done for the past two and a half hours."

    "So, I've been half-assedly cleaning up between reading a book half-assedly, packing my stuff on the side when I got bored of the first two."

    "The weather drags my spirits pretty down too, making it harder to do anything properly."

    centered "THUMP"

    "Something bumping quite loudly against my door rouses me up from my apathy."

    "I hope it's not Kenji and his crazy indoors bowling alley."

    "…"

    "I hear no sound from the corridor when I walk to the door and open it."

    "Rin."

    "I wish seeing her would evoke some more emotion in me, but for one, I'm too surprised that she came to see me and for two, she is soaking wet."

    "Her uniform shirt is distractingly translucent because of the water and she is standing in a self-created puddle."

    "Droplets of rainwater are dripping from her short bangs and sliding down her nose until they fall down from the tip."

    "One"

    extend " by"

    extend " one."

    hi "Umm… hi."

    hi "How are you feeling?"

    rin "Medium normal."

    "The relative questionability of her statement aside, she sure doesn't look too good."

    hi "You're all wet."

    rin "It's because I come from the outside. Do you know it?"

    hi "Why'd you be outside? It's cats and dogs out there, if you have noticed."

    rin "I haven't. It's raining pretty hard though. I was on a walk."

    hi "Is this what you call “wallowing in self-pity?”"

    rin "Do you think I'm pitiful?"

    hi "No, I implied that you think you do."

    rin "I don't and rain is not a sad thing."

    rin "You never walk in the rain?"

    hi "I do, but only with proper equipment, like an umbrella."

    rin "You just need to imagine you have a blue umbrella with white stripes."

    hi "It might be tough when rain is falling on my head."

    rin "Just imagine harder."

    "…"

    "Yeah, she definitely is back to normal."

    "Those half-sarcastic, inconsiderate remarks that really push my buttons even though she doesn't mean it, that vacant, spaced out stare that always expects more than it gives."

    "It's so… very much like her."

    rin "I may need to come in. I need some help with this water and clothes I'm wearing."

    "My brain quickly solves this equation and I stumble with my words, a stark display of contrast against Rin's easygoing invitation."

    hi "But, Emi…"

    "Rin shakes her head vehemently, causing water to sprinkle everywhere."

    rin "She left."

    rin "Besides she would just worry and fuss until she could not worry or fuss anymore which always takes a troublesomely long time."

    rin "It's in fact longer than I want to hear her fussing and I thought you probably are not the fussing kind."

    "She slumps down on my desk with a squishy sound effect."

    "Her soaked clothes are making the desk and everything on it wet but she doesn't care."

    "…"

    hi "Okay. Fine. I'll help you out."

    hi "I have a towel somewhere. Do you want dry clothes? Is an uniform fine? I'm taller than you, but…"

    rin "Everything is fine."

    "With little searching I find a fresh uniform and a fluffy towel from the depths of my closet."

    "The towel in one hand and the uniform in other, I turn to face Rin again, uncertain of the next step."

    "There is something wrong with me, a normal guy would just—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "Stop worrying. It is not a problem."

    "She probably could see right through my hesitant demeanor."

    "As if I was completely transparent to her."

    "I push my anxiety away and concentrate on the eight buttons lined on her shirt, just like mine has."

    "Only the first button is an obstacle, and after getting over it I undo the others with slightly less shaking hands."

    "Throwing the soaked shirt aside, I reveal Rin's pale upper body, shrouded only in her light blue brassiere which instantly reminds me of her saying it's her favorite color."

    "I try to not think too much about… stuff, but it's hard to not look at her body with what I can only think as mixed feelings."

    "I don't know what to think of this, so I just watch her. Rin looks… brittle."

    "She is like a shell, a fragile thing holding together just barely."

    "Her ribs, each of them visible under her pale skin, are moving up and down in the rhythm of her breaths."

    "Rin always struck me as quite thin, but I realize now that the manic creative period before the exhibition opening might've caused her to lose weight."

    "Did she eat properly and enough? Definitely not and probably not."

    "This ugly, yet beautiful bare minimum of a human body that belongs to someone I care about is a contradiction of aesthetics in itself, oddly becoming of her."

    "My eyes follow her collarbone to her shoulder and down her arm until the abrupt end."

    "No, it's less than the bare minimum, I think with a passing pang of sadness and some guilt for thinking like that."

    "Her arms, degenerated into almost naught but the bone and the skin due to lack of use, look very short now that the long sleeves of her uniform are not covering them:"

    "My lack of any negative reaction makes me think that I've actually grown pretty accustomed of the various physical abnormalities of my schoolmates."

    #needs a way to express Hisao changing trains of thought here, visual maybe, or maybe I write a transitional line.. scene black is a basic solution

    "I always wondered why Rin keeps her shirt sleeves long, only tying them in a simple knot at where the elbow would be."

    "It seems a bit impractical, but then again she is not exactly the pinnacle of practicality."

    "Maybe she likes it, maybe it is somehow important to her. Maybe there is no deeper meaning to it."

    "I feel like asking, and almost do, but Rin's miserable state requires a higher priority of my attention."

    "She's stopped talking too, after we ran out of spiky greetings."

    "I guess there is no need for chit-chat then."

    "I pick up the towel form the bedtop and wrap it around her head, rumpling it all over her hair until most of the rainwater is hopefully soaked into the fabric."

    "She peeks from below the towel at me, looking up with impassive eyes."

    "It looks like she wants to say something without saying it."

    "It's that kind of a look."

    "But I can't read from her face what she is thinking about, so I just keep on fussing with the towel around her shoulders and hair."

    "The silence is oppressing, terrifying."

    "The communication between us has suddenly been reduced to the movements of my hands and the towel and Rin swaying her body to and fro."

    "My jagged breathing and her quiet breaths, trying to find a common rhythm that just is not there."

    "I think I can hear her heartbeats or maybe they are just mine twofold."

    "As I brush a rogue strand of hair aside from her ear, Rin suddenly presses her cheek against the back of my hand."

    "The contact is electric, a jolt of current surging through me."

    "Whether she seeks comfort, warmth or just my touch I wouldn't know, but I can't help but touch her back, caress her soft cheek with my hand."

    "And with closed eyes, she kisses me, on the fingers, counting the joints with her lips…"

    "I am saddened beyond my expressive capability."

    "Here we are, a boy and girl, both in love or something like that with the other, or maybe not… and yet…"

    "Something is broken, I can feel it in me and in Rin, in the way our gazes merely brush against each other, shying away from contact, in her closed, timid posture and in my way of touching her like a china doll, afraid of shattering its delicate form."

    "In how we are closer than we have ever been yet I'm not feeling happy. It's like yesterday."

    "When did tenderness and forlornness become one and the same word, acts of affection start invoking only longing? …How, why did we end up like this?"

    "No don't answer that, I'd like to say to myself, but fighting against the omniscience of self-awareness is a lost cause."

    "Still, I am here and Rin is here and it feels like she might be able to solve whatever problems she has."

    "And if she can, why couldn't I? Why couldn't we?"

    "It feels like taking that step is too much, too difficult, too uncertain."

    "So for now, all I can do is dry her up so she won't get a cold again."

    "I pet her head, trying to sort out the hair that refuses to be sorted out even when wet."

    "A pair of dark, glazed eyes follows my every movement."

    hi "Pants too?"

    "She nods an answer, leans back and spreads her legs, what a grotesquely inviting gesture that makes a nasty feeling crawl up and down my spine like a bad premonition."

    "It's not enough to sober me though, as the silence is starting to make me feel detached from myself."

    "I move automatically, without thinking even though I should, I should talk to her about this, or at least about something."

    "The silence is a spell, a pact that has bound us to this private world made of the dull sound of rainfall and the soft feel of her skin against my fingers."

    "The button of her trousers is fastened tight, but it opens surprisingly easily."

    "Slipping them off is hard, mostly because she is sitting on them, with no intentions on standing up to ease my task."

    "I kneel down, uncomfortably and titillatingly between her legs so I can quickly dry her bare feet, remembering that they are as important to her as hands are to me."

    "As I work the towel up from her ankles, Rin brushes her thigh against my cheek and with her heel, nudges the small of my back to make me come closer."

    "I look up to meet her silent stare that was waiting for me to look up."

    "That unassuming, expectant stare seems to say that the ball is in my court."

    "…"

    "I casually press my cheek against her inner thigh."

    "The touch makes her gasp sharply, as if she was trying to hold back breathing."

    "Then, what if I do this?"

    "The small kiss I place on her thigh is enough to make Rin lose her composure, to shut her eyes, to squeal almost inaudibly."

    "…Is that what you want too? Would it be all right now? To take this step?"

    "…What if? Maybe if…"

    "Hazy thoughts float somewhere in the back of my unfocused mind."

    "Somehow, this whole situation is making it hard to think, as if my head was full of cotton fluff."

    "But that's all right. It seems thinking is not something we need right now."

    "By the grace of vastly smaller amount of fabric, slipping off Rin's panties is considerably easier than her trousers."

    return

label en_R41h:

    "They disappear past my field of vision, sliding down her legs somewhere away."

    "I did a poor job with a towel it seems, as Rin's legs are still wet from the rain."

    "Well, whatever."

    "Guided by instinct more than rationality, I move closer and taste the different kind of wetness."

    "She responds to me, to the slow movements of my tongue on her skin, to my kisses on her flesh."

    "Her muscles tense and relax in the rhythm, as if what I am doing was uncomfortable."

    "Hearing Rin squeal almost inaudibly when I suck on her is… unreal."

    "This whole morning has been so unreal, like the surreal intangibility of an awakening dream."

    "I can't believe I am doing this, to her, now. But I am going with the flow."

    "Besides, the point of no return was a thousand miles ago."

    "I move around, try to do things to her, to find the places where her weakness lies, to tease her, to drive her mad with pleasure because I want to, I want to do this to her."

    "But she doesn't squeal, she doesn't squirm, for maybe I can't make Rin any madder than she already is, whatever I do."

    "Her ragged, heavy breathing mixed with unintelligible moans is that of a lunatic, but I do not cause it."

    "I only release that from her."

    "She becomes more and more moist, and I drink from her, feeling a heat growing inside of myself."

    "I try to reach her deepest places, to feel all of her I can this way."

    "My every action is met with a different reaction, but each of those are of pure lust."

    "Rin is lost in the desire, willing to let anything happen to her if I do it right now."

    "She becomes closer and closer to the moment of release, but the way there is an uphill slope of madness."

    "Still, she is going that way."

    "The muscles don't relax any more between the waves of ecstatic spasms."

    "Rin just becomes tenser and tenser, contracting so much that it must be physically painful, but I do not let go."

    "I keep going, and I know she wants it too, desperately wants me to do this to her."

    "A leg curls around my shoulder and draws me closer, so close that I think that I'm going to choke."

    "I keep going because it's the only possibility."

    "As I push the button that drives her into gasping for breath, locking her leg into a cramp against my back, losing her mind in the sensation, at that precise moment I seem to forget all that was meant to be, all that should be."

    "All I know is that she came here and… I think there was a towel at some point too."

    "None of it matters, all that matters is this, what we have now."

    "Her orgasm surges through me too, exciting me in a completely new way."

    "I makes me feel anxious, nervous. Bothered."

    "As her body relaxes, I try to kiss here down there again, but it startles her, causes her to jump."

    rin "No… Hisao… Enough."

    rin "Come here."

    "I stand up to remove the last piece of clothing Rin has."

    "She leans against me to catch her breath, tickling me with warm air exhaled into my shirt."

    "Blindly, I reach behind her back to feel my way below her shoulder blades, to find the contraption that fastens her bra."

    "It opens easier than I thought, falling to the floor somewhere far below us."

    "Her bare skin against me is a sensation so wonderful that I want to have more of it and I do, embracing her more tightly."

    "Rin's hair smells of rain and I realize that I'm not hearing the sound of rainfall anymore."

    "It's a sobering thing, the cushion that enveloped us into a reality of our own now gone, and I realize more clearly what is happening."

    hi "You know, this really is not what friends should be doing."

    "I whisper in her ear, once again noticing how such a simple matter as talking can be overbearingly difficult at times."

    rin "Will you stop being my friend?"

    "She whispers it so close to my ear that it tickles."

    "That wasn't what I meant, but her serious tone and the layers of connotations behind Rin's question give me a pause."

    hi "Nah."

    rin "I… think it might be all right. Even if you did."

    "I hug her and smile into her hair, understanding Rin perfectly for once."

    rin "You are wet."

    "The remnants of water on her skin have drained into my shirt."

    "Somehow, even her statements of the obvious make me glad right now."

    hi "You're right. I am. But that's your fault."

    rin "I want to see you."

    "I comply, standing back to open the buttons of my shirt with a much faster pace than I undid Rin's buttons."

    "A sudden sense of haste strikes me, spurring me to rush forward."

    "Every second I'm not touching Rin is a second wasted, a chance lost."

    "My belt buckle proves an obstacle despite my ability to open it in an eyeblink under normal circumstances."

    "As I fumble with it, I don't notice Rin bringing her foot up between us until she starts tracing my chest with her toe."

    "I look down to see what she's looking at…"

    hi "My heart…"

    "I reflexively flinch back, covering the scar tissue in the middle of my chest."

    "The shallow mark that heart attack and the surgery thereafter left on my body has healed already but… well, it's not a particularly pretty sight if not overtly repulsive either."

    "It's barely noticeable but she does have eye for detail, is this why she said she wanted to see me?"

    "I had sorta forgotten about this because all this mess with Rin, but now all the unpleasant things connected to my condition surface at once, rushing through my mind like a flash flood."

    "And oh god all the stories about old guys getting heart attacks when having sex, what if…"

    rin "Hisao."

    "…"

    "Realizing that I might've just spoiled the mood, I stumble to explain myself."

    hi "Ah… sorry, it's just that…"

    rin "Let me touch you."

    "Her eyes are sultry, inviting as she sits there bare naked, without an inkling of shame. I never thought Rin could look like that."

    "Yeah, I know this is not how it should go."

    "Even though Rin is right here, even though there should be no more questions no obstacles not this maddening feeling that something is constantly wrong…"

    "The same feeling that clutched my heart yesterday makes it appearance."

    "We are together. In a way that is difficult to define, it eludes description as stubbornly as it evades change."

    "Would a relationship like this be all right? Could we ever change, to become closer?"

    "Even though we would stay together for all of eternity, we might never find our mutual understanding."

    "But there is no such thing as eternity. This may mean that we will not be together forever."

    "If not our differences, then the flow of time will pull us apart with irresistible force."

    "Rin is a creature of the moment, of whim and of impulse."

    "I am nothing of the sort."

    "This is a fact that I can understand very clearly."

    "If for no other reason, for this reason I should grasp this moment. Even if it's the only moment we will ever have, I should not let myself spoil it."

    "Even if I can't escape myself. Rin can't either, I know it now."

    "We both have things we can't let go, things we can't not think."

    "Feelings we can't not feel."

    "But she allows herself to want me without any restrains. Here and now."

    hi "I'm sorry, you know…"

    rin "Hisao, you really have to stop worrying."

    "Rin interrupts me before I get further, which is good because I don't know what I could've said."

    "Her voice, void of its usual spaciness, scolds me softly, without an edge."

    rin "You really have to learn to let go."

    "She scans me calmly, almost calculatingly."

    "I wonder what I look like through her eyes."

    "Damn. They are so green it almost hurts."

    "I always was so enchanted by her eyes, those mysterious, captivating eyes that always were too restless for their own good."

    "But I also always was intimidated by them."

    "Yeah. Rin is intimidating, on more than one level and especially right now."

    "She is frighteningly lucid, the goosebumps on her skin giving away that she is cold, or scared too."

    "Either way, I steel myself and step back to Rin, embracing her to feel her in my arms again and to banish my doubts."

    "The sight of her gentle, loving eyes seems to melt those doubts away like the last snow of the winter."

    "She presses her head against my shoulder, seeking a place to rest herself in, leaning against me like I lean against her."

    rin "Let go."

    "Yes."

    rin "You should forget about stuff like future and past, it's not like you can change those kinds of things."

    "I wanted to say something to her, but I have lost my voice so I just mumble something unintelligible at her."

    rin "You should just be with me now."

    "Maybe she understood what I wanted to say even if I didn't."

    rin "Come here."

    hi "I am here."

    rin "Come closer."

    "My entire body is thinking only in positives now so I do, hugging her more tightly."

    rin "Closer."

    "I press my lower body against hers."

    "She tenses a little. Just a little."

    rin "Closer."

    "Her final plead is more like a prayer."

    "There is only one way to be any closer than this."

    "I reach down between us and guide myself, sinking myself into her."

    "Every muscle in Rin's body stiffens at the same time."

    "She doesn't say anything, or wince, so I push deeper, eventually moving out."

    "And again. And she moves with me."

    "Our movements melt together into one, continuous string of back and forth, in and out."

    "All sensations become sharper, amplified tenfold."

    "My brain gave up interpreting all this stimulation ages ago, and now I am left with no choice but to feel all of this with my entire body."

    "It's like that for Rin too, I know it. I can see it. I can feel it."

    "She breathes sharply in and out, losing all composure and grace, breathes warmly against my shoulder."

    "Between those fragile breaths, she sometimes kisses me tenderly, gently as if she was unsure how to do it properly."

    "But there is no hesitation."

    "Desperately clinging to me, drawing me closer so that I can fill all of her, she moves against me, around me so that it's hard to say where I stop and she begins."

    "We take it slowly, excruciatingly slowly as if we had all the time in the world, even though we have only this moment and nothing beyond that."

    "That feeling is—" #reminder for the potential {nw} break

    rin "Wait…"

    "I stop moving, slightly alarmed."

    "Maybe it hurts, or…"

    "She looks at me in a way that I can't really begin to interpret."

    rin "Is this it?"

    hi "…?"

    rin "You said I don't have to be alone."

    "She looks at me with eyes full of innocent, fuzzyheaded confusion that makes me chuckle a little and pet the back of her head."

    hi "Yeah. This is what I meant."

    hi "That you have someone you can come to when you get soaked in a rain."

    hi "It means you are not alone."

    hi "If there is such a person for you."

    "She answers with a kiss, reminding me that we have stopped moving for no real reason."

    "So we start from the top, almost at the same time, each mirroring the rhythm of the other."

    "I move faster, faster in and out of her, my sweat mixing with hers, glistening on our shared skin like diamonds and pearls."

    "She moves faster, grinding herself against me in the throes of our desire."

    "The intoxicating scent of her lust, the mind-blanking feeling that connects our bodies, the sense of all rational thought draining from my mind."

    "All those burn my consciousness just like the compelling feeling in my body burns my instincts."

    "As those feelings grow, Rin makes no signs of stopping."

    "She curls her feet behind my lower back, forcing me to drive myself inside her as deep as it's physically possible, each millimetre sending waves through my spine."

    "My mind blacks out as the world erupts into a flash of bright white blindness."

    #and yeah, fade to white, lol you can actually do some graphical effect if you want like the text fading to black while bg fades to white or whatever

    $ wdt_off()

    scene white
    with Dissolve(2.0)

    with Pause(4.0)

    return

label en_R42:

    $ wdt_off()

    scene white
    with None

    #font black

    centered_b "Present{fast}" with Dissolve(4.0)

    nb "“Present” is a fleeting and vague concept at best.\n"

    extend "The moment between the past and the future?\n"

    extend "That doesn't really mean anything.\n"

    extend "Thinking too much about things that don't make sense is a waste of time.\n"

    extend "That's why living through the present is always the best option.\n"

    extend "Besides, for us who can't foresee the future and who forget the past too easily, present is really the only proof of our existence.\n"

    extend "Even though existence will go on even if you forget about it for a while, it's good to seize the day at least every once in a while.\n"

    #this is so that the text appears properly
    centered_alive "That way… you can confirm that you are, in fact…"

    #this is so that the text stays after being dismissed
    show alivetext "That way… you can confirm that you are, in fact…"
    with None

    #and this is so that the "alive" fades in properly. Damn I hate Ren'Py sometimes.
    show alivetext "That way… you can confirm that you are, in fact… alive."
    with Dissolve(4.0)

    $ renpy.pause()

    scene bg school_dormhisao
    with Dissolve(4.0)

    with Pause(2.0)

    #Hisao's room

    $ wdt_on()

    "I am pretty sure that the girl who is standing there bare naked, staring out of the window of my room has a much better grasp of “present” than I do."

    "As for me… well, right now I'm somewhat confused of my present state, since I should try to locate my shirt and not stare at Rin's butt."

    "But I just can't stop looking at her."

    "She is so close to the glass that her nose is probably going to leave a mark."

    "At least her breathing does, when it condenses on the rain-cooled windowglass before quickly disappearing again."

    "My shuffling around to get dressed doesn't rouse Rin from her contemplations, which his fine really, I don't mind the silences as much as I used to."

    "Only after I'm almost finished with buttoning up my shirt Rin says something, still without turning to look at me."

    rin "Let's go somewhere."

    hi "Where?"

    "I can only assume she is inviting me and not the windowsill, but it's a fair guess."

    rin "I know."

    hi "What?"

    rin "Help me get dressed."

    rin "I think today is the day."

    rin "Come on, clothes."

    "Clothes, clothes…what an impatient tone."

    "I crouch down to pick up her bra from the floor where it had fallen, discarded in the haste of undressing and forgotten there."

    "Hanging it from between my fingers like a dead fish, the same hesitation that grasped me when I was undressing Rin is creeping inside my head again."

    "Is intimacy really something this difficult for me to handle?"

    rin "Come on, you got it off just fine. This is the same but the other way around. It's like talking backwards."

    rin "Ysae s'ti tub drah smees."

    "Perplexed by her sudden and prodigious display of mental processing capacity, I forget to attempt reversing her gibberish back."

    "I'm pretty sure I couldn't switch talking backwards that fluidly even with some practice."

    hi "Umm, could you repeat that?"

    rin "Ysae s'ti tub drah smees."

    "…"

    hi "Got it. Fine, I'll give it a try. Turn around."

    "Rin was right, the locking mechanism is simple enough and I get the little plastic hooks right on the third attempt."

    hi "There."

    rin "Ti tsujda ot evah uoy won."

    hi "What? Please stop that, I don't speak backwardsese."

    "She shakes her head as if needing to banish the backwards way of thinking with a physical gesture."

    "I know a few people who could benefit from that kind of an ability."

    rin "I got stuck. Now you have to adjust it."

    hi "Adjust?"

    rin "That's what I said."

    hi "No, I asked what you meant."

    rin "You know, so that they are…fine."

    "Oh. Fine, you say?"

    "…"

    "As I have no idea when her breasts are supposed to be “fine,” I end up fumbling around her chest for a good while without getting really anywhere."

    "Not that I would complain, but Rin does."

    rin "Emi is better than you at this."

    "The impatient tone of hers ticks me off even though I can't really disagree. Rin suddenly seems to be in an awful hurry."

    hi "Yeah well excuse me, could that be because she is a {b}girl{/b} and can actually relate?"

    rin "I don't think so, she has just about as much chest as you do."

    "…"

    "With her bra and breasts eventually “fine” as they should, the rest of her clothes are considerably easier to dress on."

    "Rin launches towards the door even though her shirt is not even buttoned up all the way yet."

    "Left with little choice, I run after her."

    scene black
    with locationskip

    #scenechange

    "As soon as I realize that we are heading for the side entrance leading to the forest, I think I know where Rin wanted to go, although I couldn't say why she'd want to go there."

    "Then again, I can't really assume my guesses to be anywhere near correct when Rin is concerned, not even for quite generous definitions of correct."

    #scenechange

    "The forest behind the walls smells of rain, the last raindrops are still dripping from the wet undergrowth into the earth despite the rain being gone for hours already."

    "We stroll along with an unhurried pace that Rin sets, giving me time to take in the calming atmosphere."

    "I think I can hear Rin saying hello to at least three different trees while she walks past them, but I ignore it, just like the trees do."

    "She leads me to the narrow side path leading up to the hilltops, as I guessed."

    #scenechange

    "I peek through the canopies, trying to find a rainbow but there doesn't seem to be one."

    "It's the perfect rainbow-weather. Sun is shining low, and rain has passed not too long ago."

    "Well, whatever."

    "I lower my eyes from the treetops to see the gaunt back of the girl who is climbing up the hill slowly, without losing her balance."

    "A few steps ahead of me on the path, but still within my reach."

    "I don't think I ever could reach a rainbow, but Rin… it seems less impossible than it used to seem."

    #scenechange

    "The clear sky greeting us from above the meadow clearing seems vast and beautiful."

    "A strong wind is herding the rainclouds away from the town, to the other side of the mountains in the distance."

    "The sight is pretty, but…"

    "…"

    "A speck of white flies past the edge my peripheral vision, but when I turn to look, it's already gone."

    "Another follows, then a third."

    "Before I realize it, dozens of almost invisible small tufts of white are flying all around us."

    rin "Look, the flowers."

    "Ah. I see it now."

    "The sea of dandelions that covered the hilltop on our last visit has changed over the days."

    "Where there was bright yellow before, there is now fluffy white."

    "Some of the flowers have already shed their seeds, but many are still waiting for a suitable gust of wind."

    "Today those gusts are not in short demand, every now and then they shake the grass thoroughly, and suddenly the air is thick with dandelion seeds."

    "One by one, the seeds of the flowers separate from the stalks and are lifted away."

    "A commonplace thing, but one that seems to fascinate Rin for some reason."

    "She turning her head from side to side, marvelling the change happening all around her as the seeds fly away."

    "I watch them too, following the white tufts floating with the wind towards the horizon and imagine that I can see them even after they disappear from my sight."

    "…"

    rin "Hisao."

    hi "What is it?"

    rin "Do you love me?"

    "I snap to attention, to meet her suddenly very serious face that is not looking only at the flowers anymore."

    "What a tough question, asked just like that, out of the blue."

    "Still, her bluntness compels me to answer rapidly."

    hi "I don't know. Maybe I do."

    "Maybe too rapidly."

    rin "What does that mean?"

    hi "…I don't know."

    "Rin sighs, perhaps unhappy with my wishy-washy answer. I would be, too."

    rin "Me neither."

    rin "I don't think I know much about love."

    hi "…"

    hi "…It's fine, isn't it?"

    "“How should I know?,” the shrug of her shoulders seems to say, hesitating to give firmer answer."

    "She stays silent for only a second too long, but even that second isn't long enough for me to think ahead…"

    rin "I love you."

    "Those three words freeze me in the place like a rabbit staring into headlights but I'm not a rabbit and I'm just staring into Rin's eyes that seem far, far too impassive for what she just let out of her mouth."

    "Rin looks pretty serious though, until she sticks out her tongue, frowns a little and confuses me even more than her words did."

    "Why does she look mildly unhappy?"

    "Was it a confession of her deepest feelings, a test to see how I would react, a test to see how she would react?"

    rin "It tastes weird."

    hi "…Tastes?"

    rin "Yeah. So weird."

    "She laughs, maybe nervously or so I want to think, but stops midway when she notices how strange it sounds."

    rin "Like… I don't know what, I… don't think there is a word for this."

    "Rin keeps on talking like there was no meaning behind her words, steady and careless words dropping from the same tongue that formed the more important ones."

    rin "A word for… ummm…"

    "Except."

    rin "…It's like…"

    "She can't."

    rin "…"

    "Find the words."

    rin "…"

    "Rin just keeps staring at me, stumbling with her words as if her brain suddenly grinded to a halt."

    "She looks awfully confused, much like how I feel right now as I wait for her to explain."

    "But she doesn't, just blinks a few times, the bats of her long lashes catching my fancy because otherwise she looks like she is petrified."

    "Until I realize what they were fighting against."

    "It's those weird tears again, not associated with sadness or happiness, not pitiable sobbing nor laughter of joy."

    "Just tears, spontaneously and without a warning like that one time in her classroom."

    rin "Ah."

    "Just a few of them, not enough to make a fuss about, so Rin doesn't make a move to hide it even after noticing them."

    "Rin cries, looking like she has no idea why, and somehow a great uneasiness grows in my chest when I look into her watery eyes that stare right back at me."

    "It petrifies me too, the shock of the incomprehensibility of this situation."

    "I just don't know what is happening anymore."

    hi "Rin? What's wrong?"

    rin "I…"

    "She shakes her head in confusion, stumbling to get the words out of her mouth."

    rin "Sorry…"

    rin "I might be a little afraid of you."

    "The words are muttered slowly, with a small voice that is as disbelieving of what it's saying as I am."

    hi "What? Why?"

    rin "I don't know. Saying that just made me feel like that."

    rin "People cry when they are afraid, right?"

    rin "See? I can do it too."

    "She's averting her gaze now, deliberately not looking at me. It bewilders me, at least as much as what she is saying."

    rin "I… I sometimes, with you, want to run away so badly but I can't move it's like my legs turn into lemon panna cotta pudding and my heart feels like it's going to explode and…"

    "She slumps her shoulders melancholically."

    rin "Has a thing like this ever happened to you?"

    "…I remember the leaden sky above the frozen forest and the sound of the leafless branches clacking against each other."

    "It's like a memory from another life."

    hi "Yeah. Once."

    hi "My heart hurt a lot back then too."

    rin "But I thought your thing is not contagious."

    "I shake my head and a tiny, slightly forced smile rises on my lips."

    "The other ailment of my heart could very well be contagious and I wouldn't care a bit."

    hi "What are you afraid of? I never thought I was scary."

    "Rin shakes her head desperately, as if knowing that the tangle inside her mind won't be undone with just that."

    rin "You make me feel that I should be someone else than me."

    rin "It's a scary thing."

    rin "It happens when you are being nice to me. Like yesterday."

    rin "I never know what to do at times like that. It's hard."

    "Her voice is barely audible, a whispered admission of something that is too embarrassing to even think, not to mention to say aloud."

    "Rin has never been one to be embarrassed so she does utter it aloud, only timidly as if by instinct."

    rin "But I want to do something. But I don't know if this me can."

    "For a moment, we just stare at each other as if waiting for the other to say something."

    "…."

    hi "You are so stupid."

    #some kind of kiss CG or something.

    "Rin's lips taste salty and scared against mine."

    "As I grasp her into an embrace, I feel my heart thumping in my chest painfully."

    "Even though I am glad that she, after all, can say things like that, they make me sad."

    "Rin's spirit, her passion, her strength. All those things that I hold dear are the ones I don't want to change."

    "How should I treat them? Where are they headed to? Is that future irrevocably different from mine?"

    "That anxiety will never lose its grip on my heart, but I think I could learn to live with it."

    "Slowly, the pain in my heart dies out, and it settles into the same rhythm with Rin's."

    "We listen to that for some time."

    "…"

    "After our lips break apart, it takes a while for either to realize we can say something now."

    "…"

    rin "See?"

    rin "You are a really kind person, even when you are not."

    rin "It's the most scariest thing ever."

    rin "I think… that all I ever was afraid of is your kindness."

    "…"

    hi "Is it bad? Even if you are afraid?"

    "She thinks about this for a while, furrowing her brow like this was some kind of hard math problem."

    rin "No. I'm all right with it. It's fine, if it's you."

    "Like a weight lifted from my chest, her words elate my heart, filling it with… I don't know, happiness?"

    "What else could it be?"

    "This time my smile is genuine."

    "Rin steps back, still smiling gently at me like I do at her."

    "While she wipes her face on her shoulder, I pick up a round, plump dandelion clock and bring it to my pursed lips."

    "fuuu…"

    "They spread out into the wind that picks them up, to carry them to a new home."

    "To think, only a few short weeks ago they were so different."

    "This is change."

    "…"

    hi "Hey, so the flowers became what they were meant to become like you said the last time."

    hi "What about you? Did you become a true artist? Or did you not because you ran away?"

    "She pauses for a while to ponder my question… and shrugs her shoulders."

    "It almost makes me laugh."

    "The carefree easiness of her gesture is a lovely thing, a sign of how Rin can, truly and really, without any restrains whatsoever, shed the entire weight of the world from her shoulders, should she will so."

    "She is, in every possible and probably a few impossible ways… free."

    "And I think I might love her for that."

    rin "I don't think it matters."

    rin "Let's just watch the clouds for today."

    "She takes five steps to stand on a large rock, so she can rise herself as high as it's possible in here and raises on tiptoes."

    "When you reach for the clouds, every inch counts."

    hi "Sure, let's watch the clouds. It's good to do something you really want to do, every now and then."

    rin "Yeah. You are probably right."

    "I glance upwards at the blue sky opening high above us."

    "It's perfectly cloudless."

    "It's a deep, cerulean blue vastness that spreads to fill my entire field of vision and beyond that."

    "Yet, Rin stays on her rock, peering to the distant horizon where the rainclouds are drifting further away from us."

    rin "I have decided something."

    "The dreaming voice of hers, spoken to the wind that carries it to my ears is lacking resolve in tone, but is full of it in meaning."

    rin "It's all right to be me after all."

    "It's all right? Her decisions always seem to be pretty… far out."

    "Well, I suppose that is an important realization."

    "Coming to terms with oneself, accepting yourself, being fine with what you are."

    "A simple resolution of heart that for some people is overbearingly hard to do, if not impossible."

    "I do realize well enough that I might also be one of those people."

    "Rin too… "

    "Maybe we are not that different after all."

    "Maybe to accept someone else, you must first accept yourself."

    "Maybe that is a necessary step, that we didn't take until now."

    "Looking at her standing on that rock, I believe that she can find whatever she is looking for."

    "And so can I."

    "The wind catches her hair and clothes, and Rin spreads her short arms into an embrace that is so very very tiny, but as wide as she can ever do."

    "For a moment it looks like she herself might take flight, and I have to hold myself back to not reach for her shoulder, to drag her back to me."

    "But this picture is something I can only watch, it is something for me to remember."

    "Rin's sleeves are flapping freely in the wind, her hair wildly tousled by it, her skin touched by the setting sun."

    "Her sleek form that I've come to adore, quivering in the cool wind that carries the small white specks past her, each a beginning of a new flower."

    "All that is engraved inside my heart."

    "Like those tiny seeds scattered into the wind, I'm sure Rin too can take her place in this world without the need to create her own inside of it."

    "Maybe she believes it too, and standing as close to heaven as possible, she is giving the world a big hug."

    "To me it seems like the entire world really could fit there, between those small arms of hers, inside of her all-encompassing embrace."

    rin "Hisao?"

    "She looks at me the same way she calls my name, carelessly over her shoulder with a strange happiness in her voice and in her eyes."

    "I gaze into those mysterious, dark eyes that are curiously twinkling about from below her auburn hair."

    "Although I'm too far from her to see it, I'm sure they are reflecting my image."

    hi "What is it?"

    rin "What's the word for when it feels inside your heart that everything in the world is all right?"

    #~ End ~

    return

label en_end_ringood:
    # Rin good end, after R42
    scene black with dissolve
    centered "~ rin good end ~" with dissolve
    return