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Pilz

My boss, ladies, gentlemen, and enbys

Pilz
May 27th, 2021
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  1. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  2. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
  3.  
  4. or
  5.  
  6. BRUH
  7. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  8. A play in three parts
  9. _________________________________________________________________
  10. DRAMATIS PERSONAE
  11.  
  12.  
  13. Pilz; An Overworked and Long-Suffering Grocery Clerk
  14. Ben; The First Competent Grocery Manager Since Dwayne and Following in his Footsteps
  15. ____________________________________________________________________________________
  16. FIRST ACT
  17. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  18. Scene:
  19. An aisle in the frozen section of a grocery store. Pilz is working hard on regular inventory checks. He is doing his best to complete his work before he leaves at 2 pm. It is 1:20 pm.
  20. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  21.  
  22. ~Enter stage left: Ben, hauling a powerjack with a pallet of ice cream
  23. Ben: "Pilz, when you finish up I need you to help me with ice cream."
  24. Pilz: (aside) "Does not he realize I am but half done lows, and have yet to start highs?"
  25. Pilz: "Uh, alright, I'm just trying to finish counts..."
  26. Ben: "Yeah, that's fine just... there's three pallets of ice cream to get through."
  27. ~Ben exits stage left
  28. Pilz: "What, he thinks me a fool? Does he not recollect that he even spoke to me as I toiled to stack the baker's goods high in the coldhouse, that we might fit said ice cream into appropriate storage? Surely he saw the pallets sitting in receiving proper at the time. Who else would have placed them into the freezer? Surely he mocks me, yet have I given him reason?! But stay, rage! Scabbard, hold my sword tight lest I strike down a man I misjudge! He has been working nigh nonstop, perhaps 7 total days off since he began some three months ago. Not 8 or 9 hours either, but I suspect 10 or higher still. If he has fallen to madness from overwork I cannot be one to criticize him. I shall finish the lows immediately, forsaking entirely the highs, and assist him while I attempt to gauge his mind. Should he be overworked, it is only right that I help him. Should he be hostile, perhaps he can work frozen himself.
  29. ~Pilz exit stage right
  30. ___________________________________________________________________________________
  31. SECOND ACT
  32. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  33. Scene:
  34. An aisle in the ice cream section. Pilz and Ben labour to place ice cream into a cooler installed in the middle of the floor. A massive pallet of ice cream remains nearby. It is 1:50 pm
  35. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  36.  
  37. Pilz: (aside) "Now I shall test him - but carefully, delicately, I must not cause offense! Mayhap I am in the wrong somehow!"
  38. Pilz: "And so, this ice cream there, and that ice cream so...Christ it's been a busy day. Oh, do you need more Drumsticks*tm*?"
  39. Ben: "Yes, a few more. Then I shall take half this pallet to the bakery where...where that new bunker is. If I've got this right I should be a ble to fit all of it."
  40. Pilz:"You alright? You seem stressed."
  41. Ben: "What? Nah, There's just a lot to do. I'm fine."
  42. Pilz: (aside) "He denies, and yet when the sign-woman came I was forced to interpret, barely could he speak in a manner comprehensible to her. Moreover his behavior seems erratic - at times frustrated, at others distracted."
  43. Ben: "Ok, I need you to finish up with the Nestle*tm*. I'm gonna take these down to the bakery."
  44. Pilz: "But-"
  45. ~Exit stage right: Ben, hauling a cart of ice cream
  46. Pilz: "Alas, he is gone. It is but a few scarce minutes until my freedom is contractually demanded, I cannot finish in time. Yet my sense of duty will hound me for days should I simply leave my work unfinished. Come, I shall work quickly. Mayhap when I finish filling this case and store the ice cream safely away I shall make overtures of a finale."
  47. ~Exit stage left: Pilz, hauling a cart of ice cream
  48. ________________________________________________________________________________
  49. THIRD ACT
  50. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  51. Scene:
  52. The recieving area of a grocery store. Pilz has finished storing the leftover ice cream in the freezer and removing the second pallet. The time is 2:10.
  53. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  54.  
  55. Pilz: "This has gone on long enough...I don't mind staying if I am needed, but there are procedures to follow and etiquette to observe. Manners make the man, yet thread woven by the gods should break if force enough is applied! I shall so corner him and cause him to move one way or another - here he comes!"
  56. ~Enter stage left: Ben
  57. Pilz: "Ben, do you need me to stick around or can I take off?"
  58. Ben: "W...wait, what time is it?"
  59. Pilz: (aside) "What a question!"
  60. Pilz: "...A little past Two."
  61. Ben: "Oh, uh, yeah it's fine dude, take off. We're good here."
  62. ~Exit stage left: Ben
  63. Pilz: "I shall see him tomorrow, I suppose."
  64. ~Exit stage right: Pilz
  65.  
  66. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  67.  
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