My Bad First SCP(With bonus Reject rant!)

But hot damn, is there a lot of subject matter to cover.
For starters, I had to format the shit out of this. Never a good sign if nobody can tell what SCP-++++ is. It looks like you smashed a pumpkin on your calculator.

Due to its inability to be moved from the area it was located in, SCP-1036 is to be held in the courtyard of a small facility built to contain it.

Oh, okay. So it can't be moved, so they decided to contain it… somewhere… we're not quite sure where… but trust us, it's totally there.

During the daytime which is defined as the hours between 7:00 AM and 6:00 PM EST, SCP-1036 is harmless.

Grammar error, but what does harmless mean? Not anomalous? Because if I kicked that thing, I would be harmed. My foot would hurt. Or would it just kinda go through it… that should be better defined.

Also, if it's designated as being Eastern Standard Time, it doesn't exactly hide the location. You might want to change it to local time or Greenwich time.

And personnel above D-Class caught above ground are to be severely reprimanded and reassigned to another project.

KETER DUTY!!

You know, because they're D-Class. So if they break protocol, we "severely reprimand" them. Bad D-Class. Bad.

If the light emitted by SCP-1036 changes color, then all security personnel must be put on high alert for the possibility of a [DATA EXPUNGED] event.

Are you trying to tell me that you can't even define the event that you made up?! The very least you can do is classify it, because it obviously bears some importance.

If any life form appears in the light following a flicker event…

Oh, okay, now we know what it is. That might have been nice to know before I went to the trouble of writing those paragraphs…

SCP-1036 is a █████ brand streetlight manufactured in 1974 in ██████, WV.

Alright, I'm totally with you on this one!

At night, SCP-1036's bulb will illuminate a 13x17 meter area, whether or not it is supplied with electricity at the time.

Nice touch, I like it. Excited for what's next.

SCP-1036's anomalous property is its ability to act as a dimensional gateway to alternate universes in its illuminated area.

Well, fuck.

Any personnel in the light during a "flicker" event will be transported to the dimension until our universe reaches 7:00 AM, At which point they will be deposited in our universe in the area around the light.

But… it's EST. Our universe being 7:00… that doesn't happen. It isn't a thing.

However, if the organism is seen attempting to leave the lighted area, security must be put on red alert as organisms leaving the light can resulte in a [DATA EXPUNGED].

I could see this sentence going both ways. Maybe we get hinted as to what the expunged portion is.

SCP-1036 came to the Foundations attention when reports of mutilated bodies being found in the streets of █████

Oh, I guess not. Also, why would the Foundation care about a couple of mutilated bodies? I doubt they think that a shootout is the responsibility of an SCP. Also, very nice period. Very nice.

Occasionally, the light on SCP-1036 will begin emitting light that is a different color. If this occurs, it could mean the imminent possibility of a [DATA EXPUNGED].

By different color, I assume you mean not white. Of course, I have to assume because you never told me anything about the light.

Facility ██ has received a modest budget increase for security purposes.

I.. just… don't care?

Test purpose: Determining to what extent SCP-1036 can sustain damage.

Did they ever try to, I dunno, move it? Because earlier you said that they couldn't, but here, they're hitting it with sticks.

D-9076 was then permitted to take a sledgehammer to it.

Yeah, the Foundation is so badass, we hit streetlights with sledgehammers. Come at me.

It's almost like we don't have anything more powerful than a fucking sledgehammer. Or if we did, we didn't use it, because TESTING IS HARD AND I WANT TO GO HOME LETS JUST DO IT TOMORROW OKAY?

Test purpose: to determine what amount of light is needed to activate SCP-1036's anomalous effects.

Well hello there, Mister Test. Where the fuck did you come from, because there is absolutely no information that suggests that SCP-1036 requires light to activate. Are you lost, Mister Test? Lemme take you back to your mommy. Run along now.

Before D-7121could be sent out the light being emitted had become powerful enough to melt the covering.

But we shouldn't measure the light. Nope.

When asked to describe where he had been, he said he had been in an area similar to the area SCP-1036 was recovered in covered in sponge-like organisms that extruded a green liquid, and that he had been there for 9 hours.

I'm starting to think that this was proofread by your three-year-old Israeli cousin.

D-9817 is given food supplies capable of sustaining him up to 3 days, video camera and audio recording device with enough memory to record 45 hours of video and audio and sent into the light.

So we've already tested that inanimate objects go through just fine? Right…

Test purpose: to determine what happens when only part of the body is within the light.

Maybe this just wasn't proofread at all…

Test purpose: testing SCP-8132 for memetic effects.

What the fuck?

-Dr. Roget

God damn.

Note from Dr.Roget- All testing with SCP-1036 is concluded. We have learned all we need to know, and it would be a waste of resources to continue testing.

GUYS, TESTING IS HARD AND I WANT TO GO HOME. SCREW IT, WE'RE DONE. WE KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS THING, AND IT HASN'T DONE ANYTHING SUFFICIENTLY DANGEROUS TO MERIT TERMINATION OF TESTING. BUT I WANNA SLEEP, WE'RE FINISHED. WE'RE DONE.

SCP-1036 immediately activated and began flickering sending the agents into SCP-1036.

Nom nom streetlight.

On ██/██/20██ the light suddenly changed color to a dark yellow, followed immediately by a massive [DATA EXPUNGED] emerging from the portal, resulting in over ██ casualties and massive on-site damage. Containment procedures and Object class are currently under review. If any personnel observe an unusual light change, they must immediately report to their on-site supervisor.

Why can only Level 4 personnel see this? Knowing about this is literally the job of everyone in the facility. Also, nearly every bit of information here should have been shared earlier. Ordering information not to piss off the reader is usually a good way to go.


So yeah, sorry if this seems a bit harsh. But it's better that you know now instead of later, right?