Trapped betwween a rock and an idiot

[02:10] <voltaireMortis> ==START==
[02:10] <voltaireMortis> voltaireMortis began trolling battingProdigy
[02:10] <voltaireMortis> VM: Hey
[02:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Hey you
[02:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: One wwho bats things
[02:11] <battingProdigy> BP: uhhh, me?
[02:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Yup
[02:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Don't see anyone else here
[02:11] <battingProdigy> BP: do i know you?
[02:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Nope, and I don't knoww you
[02:12] <voltaireMortis> VM: But you're human aren't you?
[02:12] <battingProdigy> BP: clearly. we're the only intelligent life.
[02:12] <battingProdigy> BP: i think.
[02:12] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwoww okay that's presumptivve and racist
[02:12] <voltaireMortis> VM: But that does provve a point thank you
[02:13] <battingProdigy> BP: wait are you black?
[02:13] <battingProdigy> BP: im sorry i wasnt trying to offend you.
[02:13] <voltaireMortis> VM: No I'm grey
[02:13] <battingProdigy> BP: gray?
[02:13] <voltaireMortis> VM: Yes, I'm grey and vviolet
[02:14] <battingProdigy> BP: ...is that some sort of new sexuality?
[02:14] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwoww
[02:14] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwhat fucked up shit is human sexuality?
[02:15] <battingProdigy> BP: or maybe you're one of our rival teams.
[02:15] <battingProdigy> BP: wait how did you even get my handle?
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: Rivval team?
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: Shit right okay
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: So I'm an alien
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: As you wwould put it
[02:15] <battingProdigy> BP: so a rival team from another country?
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: I am a Troll, the species
[02:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: You...
[02:16] <battingProdigy> BP: oh.
[02:16] <voltaireMortis> VM: You really aren't that clevver are you?
[02:16] <battingProdigy> BP: like an "under the bridge" troll?
[02:16] <voltaireMortis> VM: I mean there are probably SOME Trolls that livve under bridges
[02:16] <voltaireMortis> VM: Don't knoww why they wwould...
[02:17] <voltaireMortis> VM: Personally I livve in a castle
[02:17] <voltaireMortis> VM: Like they do in Europe
[02:17] <battingProdigy> BP: oh. i never heard of trolls living in castles.
[02:17] <battingProdigy> BP: and arent trolls green?
[02:18] <voltaireMortis> VM: Some Trolls are olive and some are lime. If that counts?
[02:18] <battingProdigy> BP: i thought all trolls are green.
[02:18] <voltaireMortis> VM: Trolls livve wwhereevver wwe wwant to
[02:18] <battingProdigy> BP: and typically very unpleasant and stupid.
[02:19] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwoww
[02:19] <battingProdigy> BP: unless theyre small female trolls. theyre oddly smart.
[02:19] <voltaireMortis> VM: Look wwho's talking
[02:19] <battingProdigy> BP: um. me and you?
[02:20] <voltaireMortis> VM: Small female trolls?
[02:20] <battingProdigy> BP: yeah.
[02:20] <voltaireMortis> VM: Such as...?
[02:20] <battingProdigy> BP: the really short ones with pigtails and a scratchy voice.
[02:21] <battingProdigy> BP: and you think theyre kid trolls but theyre actually adults but theyre just really tiny
[02:21] <voltaireMortis> VM: Okay so that's not who I wwas thinking of
[02:21] <voltaireMortis> VM: Good thing too
[02:22] <voltaireMortis> VM: So yeah, no Trolls livve wwherevver they wwant
[02:23] <battingProdigy> BP: but i thought people killed trolls when they saw them.
[02:23] <battingProdigy> BP: since trolls are evil and mean and gross
[02:23] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwell Trolls cull other Trolls, but I assume you mean "human" wwhen you say person
[02:24] <voltaireMortis> VM: As far as I knoww wwe havven't met physically as a species yet
[02:24] <battingProdigy> BP: yeah. people like knights and stuff
[02:24] <battingProdigy> BP: i thought trolls werent real though
[02:24] <voltaireMortis> VM: Nope just other trolls
[02:24] <voltaireMortis> VM: And going back to that other comment
[02:24] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwoww
[02:24] <battingProdigy> BP: what?
[02:24] <voltaireMortis> VM: That is incredibly racist
[02:25] <voltaireMortis> VM: Somewwhat accurate
[02:25] <voltaireMortis> VM: But mostly racist
[02:25] <battingProdigy> BP: also what's with your weird accent?
[02:25] <voltaireMortis> VM: My typing quirk?
[02:25] <battingProdigy> BP: i guess?
[02:26] <voltaireMortis> VM: That's just howw I sound
[02:26] <voltaireMortis> VM: Don't you type like you talk?
[02:26] <battingProdigy> BP: where are you from? ive never heard someone with that accent
[02:27] <voltaireMortis> "Are all humans this fucking stupid?"
[02:27] <voltaireMortis> VM: My planet is called Alternia, yours is called Earth, yes?
[02:27] <battingProdigy> BP: whoa planet? i didn't know trolls came from different planets
[02:28] <battingProdigy> BP: wait.
[02:28] <battingProdigy> BP: oh my baseballs youre an actual alien
[02:28] <voltaireMortis> VM: Only took you about twwenty minutes
[02:29] <battingProdigy> BP: oh jeez i gotta get nasa on the line im talking to a real live alien
[02:29] <voltaireMortis> VM: Oh my baseballs?
[02:29] <voltaireMortis> VM: Fuck is that supposed to mean?
[02:29] <battingProdigy> BP: its a thing that i say
[02:30] <battingProdigy> BP: kinda like your weird alien accemt
[02:30] <voltaireMortis> VM: Do other humans say this?
[02:30] <voltaireMortis> VM: Other Trolls have similar accents
[02:31] <battingProdigy> BP: i dont think so.
[02:31] <voltaireMortis> VM: So wwhy the fuck do you say it?
[02:32] <battingProdigy> BP: wwell wwhy the heck do you havve that wweird accent?
[02:32] <battingProdigy> BP: man its hard to talk with thar accent.
[02:32] <voltaireMortis> VM: Because I wwas born wwith it? You are REALLY racist dude
[02:32] <battingProdigy> BP: no im not
[02:33] <voltaireMortis> VM: Evvery otter word out of your mouth is racist
[02:33] <battingProdigy> BP: ill have you know i have plenty of interracial friends.
[02:33] <voltaireMortis> VM: That's wwhat all highblood racists say
[02:34] <battingProdigy> BP: highblood?
[02:34] <voltaireMortis> VM: Yeah
[02:34] <battingProdigy> BP: id say my blood isnt that high
[02:34] <battingProdigy> BP: its pretty normal
[02:35] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwell here the Trolls wwith higher ranking blood tend to be pretty uppity about their superiority
[02:35] <voltaireMortis> VM: And pretty racist to lowwbloods
[02:36] <voltaireMortis> VM: Much like you seem to be doing to pretty much evveryone else apparantly
[02:40] <battingProdigy> BP: yeah still have no idea what youre saying.
[02:41] <voltaireMortis> VM: Ovver here, people get pretty racist about their blood colours
[02:41] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwhere as you guys apparently get racist ovver skin colour and species
[02:42] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwith your anti-troll stories
[02:42] <battingProdigy> BP: dude
[02:43] <battingProdigy> BP: real talk
[02:43] <battingProdigy> BP: you kinda lost me at "hey"
[02:43] <voltaireMortis> VM: ydrefshur
[02:43] <voltaireMortis> VM: Sorry that wwas me hitting the keyboard wwith my face
[02:44] <voltaireMortis> VM: Let's start ovver
[02:44] <voltaireMortis> VM: Hi I am a Troll, you are a human. Yes?
[02:44] <battingProdigy> BP: if you say so
[02:45] <voltaireMortis> VM: I am from a different planet called "Alternia". Makes sense so far?
[02:46] <battingProdigy> BP: as much sense as a sci-fi book makes
[02:46] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwaterever
[02:46] <voltaireMortis> VM: And you are from Earth?
[02:46] <battingProdigy> BP: was that not clear?
[02:47] <voltaireMortis> VM: Just making sure you knoww
[02:47] <battingProdigy> BP: oh thanks.
[02:47] <battingProdigy> BP: ...
[02:47] <battingProdigy> BP: hey wait a minute
[02:50] <battingProdigy> BP: you were questioning my intelligence werent you
[02:51] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwas I?
[02:51] <battingProdigy> BP: pretty sure you were
[02:52] <voltaireMortis> VM: No, no of course not
[02:52] <battingProdigy> BP: hmmm...
[02:52] <battingProdigy> BP: alright guess you werent
[02:53] <voltaireMortis> VM: Of course not, wwe're friends right?
[02:53] <battingProdigy> BP: are we?
[02:53] <voltaireMortis> VM: Of course
[02:54] <battingProdigy> BP: if you say so
[02:55] <voltaireMortis> VM: One last thing though, don't suppose you knoww either chaturangaCaller or ailurAlliance?
[02:55] <battingProdigy> BP: i do know cc but not the other one
[02:55] <voltaireMortis> VM: Really?
[02:55] <battingProdigy> BP: yeah shes one of my best buds!
[02:56] <voltaireMortis> VM: Fascinating ♒:)
[02:56] <battingProdigy> BP: uh why do you ask
[02:56] <voltaireMortis> VM: She and I havve been chatting recently
[02:57] <battingProdigy> BP: oooookay?
[02:58] <voltaireMortis> VM: I decided to start talking wwith you for similar reasons, she can probably explain it a little better than I can ♒:)
[02:58] <voltaireMortis> VM: Thank you battingProdigy, may I ask your name?
[02:58] <battingProdigy> BP: should i be concerned?
[03:00] <voltaireMortis> VM: No you need not be concerned.
[03:00] <voltaireMortis> VM: All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
[03:00] <battingProdigy> BP: ...
[03:00] <battingProdigy> BP: hm...that sounds suspicious...
[03:00] <battingProdigy> BP: oh well
[03:00] <voltaireMortis> VM: No it doesn't.
[03:00] <battingProdigy> BP: alright, jace strikers the name, baseballs my game
[03:00] <battingProdigy> BP: what about yours?
[03:01] <voltaireMortis> VM: Baseball?
[03:01] <battingProdigy> BP: yes baseball
[03:01] <voltaireMortis> VM: Ahh my name is Voxait Irrigo, pleasure to meet you.
[03:01] <voltaireMortis> VM: Nevver heard of it
[03:02] <battingProdigy> BP: oh dude its so great you need to watch some games
[03:02] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwhat's it like?
[03:02] <battingProdigy> BP: dont you guys have like
[03:02] <battingProdigy> BP: i dunno
[03:02] <battingProdigy> BP: troll baseball or something?
[03:03] <voltaireMortis> VM: I don't knoww, I still don't knoww what baseball is?
[03:03] <battingProdigy> BP: just look it up dude i think some guys recorded a few of my games and posted them on like youtube or something
[03:04] <voltaireMortis> VM: Don't get "youtube" here could you like post them here or something?
[03:04] <battingProdigy> BP: um...
[03:04] <battingProdigy> BP: i mean i could TRY
[03:05]  * battingProdigy incoming file transfer from battingProdigy - sickbaseballgame.mp4
[03:06] <voltaireMortis> VM: Huh
[03:06] <voltaireMortis> VM: Okay yeah wwe havve something a little similar
[03:06] <battingProdigy> BP: oh really?
[03:07] <voltaireMortis> VM: Yeah, gruball. Wwe hit grubs at each other wwith sticks and the last team standing wwins
[03:07] <battingProdigy> BP: that sounds kinda not fun
[03:07] <voltaireMortis> VM: If you really are a batting prodigy you'd probably be vvery good at it
[03:07] <battingProdigy> BP: also what the heck is a grub? is that a special ball or something?
[03:08] <voltaireMortis> VM: Infant troll
[03:08] <battingProdigy> BP: oh
[03:08] <battingProdigy> BP: ...OH
[03:08] <voltaireMortis> VM: It's kind of a macabre game
[03:08] <battingProdigy> BP: OH DUDE THATS MESSED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS
[03:09] <voltaireMortis> VM: Please, you should meet my neighbour
[03:09] <voltaireMortis> VM: She likes to kill anyone wwandering nearby
[03:09] <voltaireMortis> VM: And skins them to make manikins or some fucking thing
[03:09] <battingProdigy> BP: ...i sure am glad to be safe here on earth
[03:10] <voltaireMortis> VM: Yeah I hear there are slightly fewwer random cullings there
[03:10] <battingProdigy> BP: cullings?
[03:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Killings wwith the intention of cleaning the gene pool of wweaker Trolls
[03:11] <battingProdigy> BP: oh
[03:11] <battingProdigy> BP: sounds kinda holocaust-ish
[03:11] <voltaireMortis> VM: Survvivval of the fittest
[03:12] <voltaireMortis> VM: Havven't quite gotten to the holocaust part of human history yet
[03:12] <voltaireMortis> VM: Is it a good thing?
[03:12] <battingProdigy> BP: what the heck no its horrible
[03:13] <voltaireMortis> VM: Ah wwell cullings are kind of considered a normal and beneficial thing here
[03:13] <battingProdigy> BP: yeah not here on earth thats just evil
[03:14] <voltaireMortis> VM: Cultural differences I suppose. It's a little bloodier than necessary though, I agree
[03:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: But all shall be wwell
[03:15] <battingProdigy> BP: why do you keep saying that?
[03:15] <voltaireMortis> VM: Force of habit. Like your baseball thing
[03:16] <battingProdigy> BP: ooookay?
[03:17] <battingProdigy> BP: anyways i really should be going soon. i have to wake up early for practice.
[03:18] <voltaireMortis> VM: Wwell it wwas lovvely talking to you Jace. Sleep wwell
[03:18] <battingProdigy> BP: but it was nice talking to you mr trollman
[03:18] <battingProdigy> BP: anyways ill see ya later maybe
[03:18] <voltaireMortis> voltaireMortis ceased trolling battingProdigy
[03:18] <voltaireMortis> ==END==