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- >You know, Anon
- >Live in Celestia's castle in Cantarlat
- >Gotta stay away from the plebs, wouldn't accept you
- >Live a luxurious but utterly boring life in Equestria, unknown to everyp0ne but the Princesses and a few lackeys
- >You go to sleep after a long and uneventful day
- >Not even 5 minutes later
- >"Anon, thy presence is required"
- >The eerie whisper makes you shiver, the voice of Luna too close
- >"It is imperative thou followeth us"
- >You can barely stand the ye olde engrish bull when you aren't tired, but this just makes you grit your teeth
- >"We know thou art awake now, it would be improper to ignore us any further"
- >You slowly sit on your bed, and glare murderously at Moonbutt in front of you
- >"Finally, it took thou long enough. Follow us"
- >She turns her back to you and heads for the door
- >You take the opportunity to look with longing at your pillow before glaring some more
- >You follow Luna to the kitchen in silence
- >Luna leads you to the kitchen in silence
- >Silence, sleepy silence
- >"LOYAL SUBJECTS, WE ART IN NEED OF THE ROYAL KITCHEN. STEP OUTSIDE SO THAT IT CAN BE USED BY US"
- >That. Is. IT. You wait till no more pones are leaving the kitchen before asking
- "What does your Majesty need of my person?"
- >That was the most sardonic sentence you had ever spoken
- >She didn't notice
- >"Thou art going to prepare our breakfast, Anon"
- >You are silent again, not following through with what Luna said
- "Yeah right"
- >She doesn't notice the oozing sarcasm of that sentence either
- >"It is to our understanding that thy breakfast is different from ponykind's"
- >She can't mean it
- >"We art most curious. We will try the food of your 'people'"
- >Oh no
- "Look, I'm no cook. I don't even make my own breakfast here. And I'm pretty sure it's not fit for your body"
- >You might said something wrong in that last sentence
- >"ART THOU IMPLYING THAT OUR BODY CANNOT BEAT THY SIMPLE BREAKFAST?!"
- >Oh for the love of
- "Your HIGHNESS, I'm just saying that your kind doesn't usually eat the stuff my kind eats. Bacon 'n' stuff"
- >"Bacon? We will try this bacon thou speaketh of"
- >You stare at her
- >Well, you tried to warn her
- "If you say so"
- >Oh shit oh shit oh shit
- >The kitchen is on fire
- >Moonbutt is on fire
- >You are on fire
- >Well, you are not on fire
- >Yet
- >"AAAH! HELP! THY PRINCESS IS CAUGHT ON THE FLAMES OF THY FAILURE!"
- >Thy Princess was flailing around looking at her flaming mane
- >Thy Princess somehow forgot about her fucking magic
- >You are not too keen on helping her, more on escaping
- >But you are pretty sure if you don't douse the fire on her, you won't be welcome in Equestria
- >You tell her, in a bored tone of voice
- "Ok, ok, hang in there, stay put so I can put the fire out"
- >You take out your trusty hose, the one that loves the hoes
- >"WHAT IS TAKING THEE SO LONG?!"
- >You loosen up your firedouser on the distraught Princess, basking in the relief it brought you
- >The fire just got bigger and wilder, consuming Moonbutt more quickly
- >"WHAT HAVE THY DONE?!!! THE SCENT IS--"
- >She starts gargling on your untreated water, cut out mid-sentence
- >Guards start flooding the place, bringing buckets of water to calm the heated outbreak
- >You make sure to stuff your stuff in your pants before they notice
- >Moonbutt isn't moving anymore, just making a long groaning/silent scream sound
- >Oh well
- >The whole castle's inhabitants are heading to the ruckus you caused
- >You go back to your room to get your much needed sleep
- [spoiler]"That'll teach her..."[/spoiler]
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