32x srt file

1
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He's gonna take you back to the past

2
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To play the shitty games that suck ass

3
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He'd rather have a buffallo

4
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Take a diarrhea dump in his ear

5
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He'd rather eat the rotten asshole

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Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer

7
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He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard

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He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd

9
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He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd

10
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He's the Angry Video Game Nerd

11
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The Sega CD has it place in history. I mean don't get me wrong it is a piece of shit, but it has certain appeal.

12
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The 32x is the real deal! It sucks... oh god it sucks!

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You plop it on top of the Sega Genesis like they are mating.

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God I mean... do you think it is enough add-ons? It doesn't even look aesthetically presentable. it like a ugly tumor.

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Do they need all this bullshit leeching on the Genesis?

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That poor Genesis thinking, "oh god please take these shit off me."

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It's like getting gangraped. Both of it's slots are getting bust at the same time.

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And picture this, if it was a Genesis model 1, then it would be even more a spectacular mess.

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It need the medal phongs to insert into it... slot.

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There's something wrong here, this whole thing is a mound of cockadookie.

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What does the 32x do? Well it is compatible with all your Genesis 16-bit games.

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It also has it library of 32-bit games.

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Oh you gotta love this, no end labels on the cartridges. May I ask why?

24
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Here's the Genesis games. You can read them. You can see what they are.

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If I'm trying to pick out a game, I can visually scan my eyeballs across them without having to do this.

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Oh what's this... Virtua Fighter. Oh what's this...StarWars. Oh what's this...Primal Rage.

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Same thing with Atari!  Labeled.

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Not labeled.

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Labeled

30
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Not labeled

31
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Labeled...

32
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Labeled...

33
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Not labeled. Even Nintendo is guilty of the same thing.

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If you labeled the older games, why can't you do the same with the newer ones.

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Who came along and said... Oh we're going to have better graphics, better games, oh those end labels gotta go.

36
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When did this idea simple convenience become obsolete?

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About the 32x, hooking up this bastard is just insane.

38
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Believe it or not, like the Sega CD, it has it own fucking power adaptor!

39
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That's great, I mean now you got three.

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Now trying to hook them up all at the same time is a friggen nightmare.

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Let's look at the most minimum amount of effort possibly take.

42
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I plug in the TV, now I can't obviously plug all three of these things.

43
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Here's the most basic powerstrip you can get. Every big store sells this shit. These are common.

44
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So plug in the fucking powerstrip or whatever.

45
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Here's goes the Genesis, the SegaCD, and... bullshit.

46
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What a load of fucking bullshit. How did they fuck this up so bad?

47
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I can't even turn it the other way because it doesn't fit.

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Why can I only plug in two power adaptors? Why can't they be side way?

49
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Better yet, why do they have these box thing?

50
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Why can't they be like this?

51
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Even the Atari 5200 with a huge ass box, but it still ends with a normal plug.

52
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You know that really pisses me off.

53
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I even have a camera, which I just brought this year it has a box like that.

54
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We live in the year of 2007, they can't figure out that shit like that takes up too much room?

55
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These fucking thing should be banned.

56
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Have these!

57
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Not these!

58
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So anyway, let's fire this monster up and play some Primal Rage.

59
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Great title screen huh? There isn't any title at all!

60
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What is this?  Wha waitaminute...

61
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Oh please god tell me what's going on.

62
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Why can't I see the characters?

63
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I'm playing invisible Primal Rage!

64
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Let's try Virtual Fighter.

65
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What the fuck?!

66
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Guess what, we left something out.

67
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There's another cable, which connects to the Genesis to the 32x.

68
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Isn't it enough that the damn thing is inserted into the top of the Genesis?

69
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Why does it need another connector?

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Look at this, it's a fucking mess!

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What a perfect visual analogy!

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Sega invented the 32x to increase the lifespan of the Sega Genesis.

73
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That's exactly what this friggen thing looks like.

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It's on life support.

75
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Here's Primal Rage, with my recollection looks nowhere near as good as the arcade.

76
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In fact, I'm not even sure how much even better it look than the Genesis version.

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It got all the moves, the farting, the puking, the pissing, which I can't do.

78
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If you want to try that out, be my guest.

79
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I mean that's what I hate about this game, the moves. They're so awkward.

80
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Especially the fatality moves... just forget about it.

81
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It's always something hold these 3 buttons then tap wierd combonation on the control pad.

82
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I don't know why they make any moves that require you to hit Up.

83
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You know what happens?  You jump!

84
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I'm sorry, when I have to download a move list and remember all kinds of combonations of buttons.

85
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That ruins the game for me.

86
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You have Doom, which is one my all time favorite.

87
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But the music sounds like shit.

88
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Compare it to the Super Nintendo version.

89
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Also the Super Nintendo version has more levels.

90
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The only thing it lacks is the graphics. they're horrible.

91
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The 32x is better. My point is everything should be better.

92
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Now you have Virtua Fighter

93
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It's one of the first 3D fighting game and it sure is like it.

94
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I do hate how everytime you jump, its like you're on the moon.

95
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Gah... the controls sucks.

96
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The characters acts like they have problems.

97
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Now you have Starwars.

98
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Yeah, it's a arcade classic, but I don't know about this one. The graphics are dull.

99
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Everything looks like a polygons, putting me to sleep.

100
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Like my SegaCD Video, keep in mind, I'm limited to on how many games I can review.

101
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I'm aware that I'm leaving out the popular one like the Snatcher on the Sega CD, and Knuckles Chaotix on the 32x.

102
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But remember if I don't have the game, then I can't review it.

103
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It doesn't matter anyway because I wanted to focus on the console itself.

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The bottomline, the 32x sucks.

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It's one of the biggest failure of all time.

106
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Just to celebrate their failure just for shit and giggle, they released a few CD 32x games, which requires both the 32x and the SegaCD!!

107
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If you happen to own both this pile of vomit and this piece of shit, you can mix the two together!

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It concludes that the 32x was not worth it.

109
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Gamer are too smart not to get sucker in, they knew that the piece of junk would be abandon shortly because the Sega Saturn is on it way.

110
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Hell, it was already out in Japan. No one gave a two fuck about this beast.

111
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It cost about 150 dollars when it first came out.

112
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The only people who brought it had mechanical problems.

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On top of that, there was rumors that it can damage your Genesis games.

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I don't even know if that true or not.

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The Sega Saturn was released in the US 6 month later.

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Only about 40 games or maybe less came out for the 32x before they pick this up.

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What kind of Marketing is that!?

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WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!!

119
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On top of that, Sega has yet another console planned in between called the Neptune, which was scrapped pretty quickly.

120
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All it was going to be is a standalone 32x anyway. Which was should have fucking been in the first place!

121
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Not only the Saturn was on the way.

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So is the Playstation and the Nintendo 64.

123
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Gamers knew it would be a better idea was to just wait.

124
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And stores was selling the 32x for 20 dollars.

125
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I got mine from a flea market for 2 dollars and fifty cents!

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I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS!!!

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Now excuse me, I gotta send this fucking shit back from the fire of Hell.