A winter in Yetinburg ch.6

	My adrenaline is still pumping as I breath quick in my panic, body hurting all over. Sonia hasn't moved since she collapsed. It's hard to tell just how much time has passed. I stand up and groan a bit from the fall I took down the stairs, turning the kitchen light on to look at the scene and how I'm doing more closely.
	Sonia is still laying on her back where she fell, hands covered in my blood. The sting from my deep cuts caused by those sharp things is coming back as the adrenaline runs out and normal reality sets in. I can feel the three small points in my neck where it was nearly bitten with my fingers. There is some blood coming from where I hit her with the pan.
	Only then do I notice how much blood I have been losing. There is a small puddle on the ground under where I was sitting. I should call an ambulance, I don't know enough to properly take care of both of us. But how do I explain this to the paramedics? I take some more deep breaths to calm down, trying to think of any way I could avoid having to do that. I don't want to see the hospital again. There has to be some way I can avoid going there again.
	But I can't do all these stitches myself, I don't even have the supplies for it. I don't even know how bad Sonia is injured from that panicked strike I saved myself with. I have now choice. Standing up, I get the land line in order to make sure I get through to an ambulance. I explain the situation, though I make up the story an episode of a mental illness. I stay on the phone until the paramedics arrive, before going to the door to open it up for them.
	I'm shown to the ambulance by one paramedic as the pair that went to the kitchen goes to take care of Sonia. They take a few minutes to get her inside the back of the vehicle as the one starts to patch up my cuts, giving me stitches right in the back even as the ambulance begins to move. Beside me Sonia is being diagnosed and examined, almost distracting me from the feeling of someone sewing me up. I'm starting to wonder how many stitches I'm going to get by the time we arrive at the hospital, Sonia getting taken away into intensive care to take care of the head wound.
	I get taken by the paramedic through the doors and into the general care area, my bleeding slowing down but not stopping. Probably due to my drinking thinning my blood. The smell and surroundings are causing bad memories to come up, but I bear with it until I'm all patched up. Despite their recommendations, I don't stay. It's hard enough as it is. They can't stop me from doing so but I still make sure to take heed of their directions. I knew what they would be anyways. I warn them to keep Sonia is a room alone with a lock due to her mental condition, lying about it for the safety of the fox and everyone else there.
	I get a cab back home, and am glad that at least one company still operates in the early morning. I'm sure I look like a mess in my bloody shirt and with all the bandages, but the yeti driver doesn't seem bothered by it. Helps that I was brought out of the hospital. They ask what happened, but I don't respond to the question. After paying her I get right back into my house, glad that nobody is foolish enough to be a thief in this frozen city due to the front door still being unlocked. Once inside, I skip the drinks and head for bed again to finally get some sleep.
	I avoid heading to the hospital for the next few days. I can't go in there. I really can't. I don't want to admit to what happened in there, in that place. That terrible place. I can't push the thoughts from my mind by drinking, my blood is thin enough and I don't want my stitches bursting. So I sit at home and nurse them, only leaving for work. I find myself picking up the pig livers every morning without a need to do so. It's become a habit now, I suppose. Not that it does me any good to let them pile up in my fridge.
	I'm startled out of bed on the fourth day, getting woken up at just a few minutes past eleven in the morning. Moving carefully to avoid hurting myself, I pick up the phone and put it to my ear.
	"Hello?"
	"Sebastian Lowell? This is Yetinburg First hospital. We're calling about that young fox woman that came from your residence on the fourth." The soft spoken woman on the other side answers.
	"What about Sonia? Is she alright?" I ask, actually feeling a bit worried. Or guilty about leaving her there.
	"She's fine, the head wound healed up and any symptoms went away fast." She answers my question. The woman still seems worried. "But she's refusing to eat. We have her on IV drip now, but we're hoping her therapist, family member, or someone she knows can come in to talk with her."
	"She's not eating? Why?"
	"We're not sure, she isn't talking to anyone that comes in. We've had to restrain her to keep her from taking the drip out, or trying to jump out of the window again."
	What is that girl thinking? I take a deep breath and try to think of something I can do without heading in, but the woman speaks up before I can sort my thoughts.
	"Do you have her full name? We can't find her in our systems. Without proof of citizenship, national health insurance won't cover her stay. She'll be on the line for the bill."
	"I'll... figure something out, I'll come in when I can." I almost swear, hanging the phone up as I lay in bed and start to go through my thoughts. Despite all the stitches I'm laying on, something is still urging me to go into that place. Some part of me wants to go there. I'm worried about Sonia, even after the trouble she's been the last week.
	I get up, and the memories start to force their way back as I get my stitches cleaned and fresh bandages on me after a quick shower. Watching Tava wither in that place. And Eva. The painful memories seeing my life break apart in front of my eyes, and in my arms. I can't run from them now, I can't drink them away. I just try not to think about them as I head out and drive in the fresh falling snow to head for the hospital.
	I park and take a while to gather my nerve and courage. I was tired and drained of blood when I was last here four days ago and couldn't think too much. Now the memories are coming back. I'm remembering bringing Eva in, my poor daughter. Five years old and coughing up thick clots of blood. Cold sweat despite the layers of clothes on her, and the fever. I can't help reliving it as I get out of my truck and walk to the doors to enter the hospital. I look to the right, to the emergency ward. I had to carry Eva while Tava clung and worried. The tests were nerve-wracking, or at least the waiting was. We weren't allowed in the room with Eva, not until they confirmed what it was. Some sort of virus that had been spreading among local wolves. She had caught it from the deer that we had caught that winter. They decided to test Tava too for the virus.
	I look away, walking to the front desk where another yeti was handling things, two others taking care of paperwork and other business. With a city called Yetinburg, founded under rumors of Yeti saving explorers and starting the settlement, their population percentage has to be high in this city. I must have some kind of terrible look on my face, but she doesn't react to it.
	"I need to find the room where Sonia is being kept. The one that came in on the fourth from seven-teen forty, forty fifth avenue." I tell her, glad that she wasn't busy with anybody else.
	She takes a minute to look it up based on the information, looking at her screen before nodding once she has what she needs.
	"And you are?" She asks.
	"Sebastian Lowell."
	"Alright, we were expecting you. Do you want to settle the bill now or later?" She asks.
	"Later. Not sure if I'll get her home right away." I answer.
	"Alright, she's up on the fifth floor. Room twenty three." The yeti tells me.
	That freezes my blood up. I know those directions all too well. By some cosmic joke, she had ended up in the very same room that Tava had been in. She had tested positive for the same virus and was put there. Soon enough I realize the yeti is trying to make sure I'm alright, and I snap back to my senses.
	"Sorry, I'll head on up there..." I frown, moving away from the desk and towards the elevator. Before I can get on, someone on a stretcher is put onto it, so I take the stairs to stay out of the way. I walk up them slowly, afraid to face the fifth floor. I remember these stairs well, I'd always take them when I visited Tava day after day when she was stuck in that bed. Her energy disappearing. The same symptoms as Eva had appearing on her much more slowly. The pain of inevitability.
	I reach the fifth floor and look at all the closed doors. The desk appears to be waiting for me, but I stay at the top of the stairs as I recall walking down these halls so many times before. Always to the same place, and back again when they finally kicked me out each night. I step forward, recalling my wife withering away before my eyes with each one I take. I get to room twenty three, and look at the door itself. I can see my wife forcing a smile, with sunken cheeks, fur falling out. I take a deep breath, ready to enter the room where my wife died in front of me.
	"Alright, open it up." I request, the nurse putting the key into the door and opening it for me. I step inside, and listen as the door is closed behind me.
	Sonia is sitting in the bed, back reclined up. There isn't any sound coming from the television hanging at the foot of her bed, and the fox is facing away from the thing to stare out the window. Her hands are in heavy restraints, along with her legs to keep her from moving. The three tails are dangling out of the blanket to one side, Sonia not responding to me entering the room at all. I hesitate, but grab a chair and walk over beside her to sit down in it. She seems to notice me, her ears only moving the slightest amount due to the odd pattern in the movement around her not matching the last few days. The IV is stuck into her right arm, no sign of the head injury visible from where I was sitting. After several minutes, I realize she isn't going to respond and try speaking first.
	"Sonia, it's me. Sebastian. Are you feeling alright?"
	I get a slight response from one of her ears. She's listening at least, if only on reflex.
	"I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you. It's a bit hard for me. They tell me you haven't been eating. An IV drip can't keep you going forever."
	She still isn't responding to me. I sigh and wait a few minutes, trying to think about what she may be thinking. She never wanted to hurt me. She obviously wasn't in her right mind when she did attack.
	"You don't need to worry about what happened. You just need to find a way to control it. It's not your fault. We can still keep you at home, I can put a lock on the door at night when you go to bed." I suggest, trying and failing to force a smile.
	Sonia slowly turns her head towards me. Her eyes look like they want to cry but are out of tears. She's forcing a smile to her face, but it looks broken. She has the look of someone that has given up.
	"I don't need that. I'm just a monster. I can't even keep myself from attacking someone, I'm no better than some mad dog. No, I'm worse than that." Her voice cracks as she speaks, sounding on the verge of breaking down into tears. "I'd even a-attack the one person that wanted to help me. He was just another meal to me. Prey for a monster."
	I frown when I hear that, at least a bit more than I usually do. This attack seems to have snapped whatever denial she was clinging to, she can't run from it anymore.
	"You're not a monster. You may just be different than normal people. I understand that you're upset but..." I trail off, not sure where I was going with the sentence.
	"Are you going to take me home? You can help me there. You can shoot me. I tried to jump from a window but they managed to stop me. They put these straps on before I could do anything with these horrible claws!" Sonia laughs, still staring right at me as she speaks. "I can't control myself, I don't want to hurt anybody. I can't even be sure I h-haven't killed someone before while on the streets! You need to do it Sebastian, you need to make sure I can't hurt anybody again!" She starts to plead. I really don't know how to respond to this, even with my medical schooling. I can't do anything as a doctor for her, I'm no psychologist.
	"Come on Sebastian! I-It would be easy! Just one shot and i-it'll be ove-"
	I stop her from speaking as I stand up and pull the fox into a tight hug. I can't stop myself from doing it. I just want her to stop thinking such horrible thoughts, wanting to throw away her precious life. I know those thoughts and it's painful seeing them come from another. She can't return the favor as I keep a hold on her, but she pushes her face into my shoulder and I hear her start to cry into it. I keep us like that as she lets out all that she was holding back, all of the grief and anguish she was hiding flooding out with the tears.
	Eventually she stops crying. She doesn't pull away from the now gentle hold as I take a few minutes to realize that she is done. I let her go and let Sonia rest against the back of the bed, eyes redder from from all the tears. She speaks in a hoarse voice to me.
	"Can we go home now?..."
	I nod and tell her to wait a minute, moving to the door to be let out of the room. I almost expect the disinfectant to come at me like last time, but remember she wasn't there for something infectious. I head over to that floor's desk and tell them the plan, getting everything organized and paying for the medical care. They return her clothes to me, and take me back into the room to get Sonia dressed and unstrapped. I don't sense her about to do anything stupid, even as she keeps frowning and moves slow. After a couple minutes of me staring at the wall, Sonia is dressed and we head back out as I guide her along.
	The ride home in the truck is quiet, I don't know what do say and Sonia is just staring out at the city as we drive through it. It makes the trip feel a lot longer than it is. As I park in my driveway and get out, I realize Sonia isn't moving from her spot. I frown, closing my door and moving around to her side to tap on the window. She doesn't react. I have to open the door and take her out myself, pulling her along to get her inside. It's cold, the fire isn't going. I didn't start it before leaving. So after I close the door I go and start the fire. By the time I have it burning, Sonia is gone. I panic for a moment but find her in the first place I look, the trophy room. She's just laying in her cot facing away from the door. I leave her alone, she seems to need some time to herself. I hope that's all it is.
	I wait until I've cooked dinner to bother her again, surprised the smell of a cooking pig liver hasn't moved her. She's in the exact same position as when I left her earlier. I knock on the door despite the open doorway, not getting a response from her.
	"Sonia, dinner is ready. Don't you want something to eat?" I ask. Still no response. I move inside to make she she isn't asleep, and see her eyes are open. "I'll bring it here if you want."
	Sonia takes a minute to reply, eventually looking up at me without moving any other part of her. She lets out a very quiet reply, I almost don't hear the 'okay'. I leave the room and come back with her plate with a knife and fork on it, setting it on a shelf for her to eat whenever she wants.
	"It'll get cold if you leave it too long." I warn her. I barely get a tail twitch from that. I leave the room and close the door, getting to my own dinner. After eating it down I start to dig through my drawers to try and find the key to the trophy room. I put it away so many years ago, it's hard to find but I eventually dig it up. Just in time to go to work. I check the room to see Sonia is laying down still, though the food I gave her has been moved and pecked at. She hardly ate any of it.
	"I'm going to work now. If you need to use the bathroom, now is the time." I tell her. She doesn't even twitch. I get a glass of water to place on the shelf in the room before locking the door, hoping that she'll really be alright in that room. There isn't any bullets for the rifles at least.
	The following two days go about the same, she hardly eats and rarely leaves the room. Only to occasionally visit the bathroom and get some water. I wrack my brain around how I can get her back to normal. I can't rest well while I'm awake out of worry, trying to figure out some way to help the fox. I consider getting Catherine to come over to try and snap her out of it.
	My thoughts are broken when the phone rings. I haven't heard the sound in so long I almost forget that it is my own. It gets me out of my chair to answer it, picking the old thing up.
	"Hello?"
	"Doctor Lowell, we have the results of 'Sonia's blood test back."