Kiss De Girl

Salmander	Salmander The cafeteria smells of roses and spaghetti
	Salmander	Salmander An odd combination
	Salmander	Salmander Kind of turns you off
	Sequence	Eva looks disconcerted.
	Tox|Laptop	God dammit Nolan what's that expression mean
	Salmander	There's a table at the center with a tablecloth on and two trays on it
	Tox|Laptop	are we fucked
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	Mr_Wilt	Nolan strides into the cafeteria after Eva, walking over to the table and pulling a seat out for her.
	Mr_Wilt	I don't know man.
	Tox|Laptop	fffuck
	Mr_Wilt	I'm not good at faces.
	Sequence	Eva sits down.
	Mr_Wilt	He scoots her in, and walks over to take his own seat.
	Salmander	Gaston comes out and and nods to Eva and Nolan before opening the trays
	Salmander	Two lush plates of spaghetti and meatballs
	Salmander	And then, of all the possible things that could happen, Gaston takes out an accordian
	Sequence	Eva looks faintly horrified, and tries to suppress it.
	Mr_Wilt	Oh god. /Why/?
	Salmander	He begins playing a scarcely romantic tune and singing in a gruff, off-tune voice
	Salmander	Roll academics
	Mr_Wilt	6df+2
	Sequence	6df+4
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: 1 (6df+2=+, -, 0, -, +, -)
	Glacon	Sequence: 8 (6df+4=+, +, 0, +, 0, +)
	Salmander	Nolan can't understand the French at all
	Salmander	Eva, on the other hand, can tell the lyrics appear to be about kissing certain private parts
	Salmander	It's /very/ descriptive
	Mr_Wilt	Little did Nolan know that Gaston was *the worst Wingman*.
	Sequence	Eva's expression is somewhere between disgusted and embarrassed.
	Sequence	It is about the most unromantic expression there is.
	Salmander	Gaston stops and puts down the accordian
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan takes note. This is almost worse than him winking.
	Mr_Wilt	Almost.
	Salmander	He takes off his apron
	Salmander	And then unbuttons his shirt and pants to reveal himself in a tight tuxedo
	Salmander	he begins marching and singing around the table
	Sequence	Eva buries her face in her hands.
	Salmander	Other frenchmen from around the Area suddenly burst in through the kitchen doors follow him
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan puts his face in his hand. [Fuck.]
	Salmander	A younger looking man with a pencil moustache jumps up on the table and begins tap dancing
	Sequence	Eva is trying really, /really/ hard to disappear.
	Salmander	Another one picks up the accordion and continues playing. A few others soon join in with some rather well coordinated a cappela
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan leans toward Eva, matching her embarrassed expression. "I'm really sorry. This wasn't what I had in mind at all." He tries his best to whisper.
	Mr_Wilt	6df+4 Sneakan'
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: Sneakan': 1 (6df+4=0, -, +, -, -, -)
	Salmander	Then they all reach the crescendo and finish, holding their hands out at the two
	Salmander	Thankfully the music is too loud for them to hear
	Sequence	Eva snorts. "That's what you said last time."
	Sequence	*Eva laughs
	Salmander	Gaston bows and they all march off again
	Salmander	Leaving the couple with their spaghetti
	Mr_Wilt	"Yeah, but this.. even moreso."
	Sequence	"Well... At least it can't get any worse?"
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	He forces a smile, picking up a fork. "Let's hope so."
	Sequence	Eva picks up her own fork.
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	Salmander	The fork zips out of his hand and into an air vent
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	Sequence	Eva stares at the air vent.
	Mr_Wilt	As does Nolan.
	Sequence	She opens her mouth to say something.
	Sequence	She closes her mouth.
	Salmander	There's a bit of clattering and then it stops
	Sequence	"Uh. Should we go after it?"
	Salmander	Thankfully
	Salmander	Gaston supplied multiple forks
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan grabs another fork, and takes a deep breath. "I think we're okay."
	Sequence	Eva looks incredulous. "A fork just flew into an air vent."
	Sequence	"And you don't want to go see what caused it?"
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan stands up. "If you insist." He offers her his hand in assistance.
	Sequence	Eva takes his hand and stands up
	Salmander	C'mon Nolan
	Salmander	You really wanna waste your date looking for a fork
	Mr_Wilt	Man, it's creepy just going "No, stay here, I want to admire you under the light."
	Tox|Laptop	or do you want to eat the damn food
	Mr_Wilt	It /was/ a goddamn fork.
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan walks over toward the vent, and peers inside.
	Mr_Wilt	6df+4
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: 2 (6df+4=-, 0, 0, -, -, +)
	Salmander	Just a vent
	Mr_Wilt	"I don't see it in there."
	Salmander	Research did mention something about testing magnetics earlier... you think...
	Mr_Wilt	"I think Research might have said something about testing magnetics."
	Mr_Wilt	He's pretty sure they didn't, but that's better than nothing.
	Sequence	Eva sighs. "Well, I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow." She goes to sit back down again.
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	He goes back behind her chair again, prepared to scoot her back in.
	Salmander	Roll athletics Nolan
	Mr_Wilt	6df+6
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: 8 (6df+6=+, +, 0, 0, 0, 0)
	Salmander	Nolan just barely avoids putting the chair back in after she tries and sits, causing a date-ending butt to floor impact
	Salmander	To clarify, the above didn't occure
	Mr_Wilt	Oh, right. Phew.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan walks on over to his chair, and scoots in.
	Sequence	Eva picks up her fork.
	Salmander	It does not whizz
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan picks up /his/ fork.
	Salmander	It does not whizz
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Sequence	Eva scoops up some spaghetti.
	Mr_Wilt	Wonderful. Nolan sticks his fork into the spaghetti, and takes bite of this nice-smelling spaghetti.
	Salmander	The spaghetti tastes nice
	Sequence	Eva takes a bite of her own spaghetti.
	Salmander	The spaghetti tastes nice
	Mr_Wilt	"Mmm. The spaghetti's good."
	Salmander	So are the meatballs
	Mr_Wilt	Oh god he's so awkward what does he say oh man oh man why did he wink
	Sequence	Eva nods. "It is at that."
	Salmander	You're having a pretty nice time, all things considered
	Mr_Wilt	He takes another bite. Fuckwhatdoeshesayohgodohman.
	Salmander	First
	Salmander	We got to create the mood
	Salmander	Percussion
	Salmander	Strings
	Salmander	Winds
	Salmander	Words
	Salmander	Dere you see her
	Salmander	Sitting dere across the way
	Salmander	She don't got a lot to say
	Salmander	But there's something about her
	Salmander	And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you want to kiss the girl
	Salmander	BTW you wnat to kiss the girl
	Salmander	Yes you want her
	Salmander	Look at her you know you do
	Salmander	Hopefully she want you too
	Salmander	There is one way to ask her
	Salmander	It don't take a word
	Salmander	Not a single word
	Salmander	Go on and kiss the girl
	Salmander	Suddenly, the kitchen doors burst open
	Salmander	Gaston and the frenchmen run out and surround the table
	Sequence	Eva nearly chokes on her spaghetti.
	Salmander	"Sha-la-la-la-la-la"
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan buries his face in his hands again. He has absolutely /no hope/.
	Salmander	"My oh my."
	Salmander	"Looks like the boy too shy"
	Salmander	"Ain't gonna kiss the girl."
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	Salmander	Damn frogs
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan shoots a look at Gaston. He thought they were friends.
	Salmander	"Sha-la-la-la-la-la"
	Salmander	"Ain't that sad"
	Salmander	"Ain't it a shame"
	Salmander	"Too bad, he gonna miss the girl."
	Salmander	Then they all turn around and march back into the kitchen
	Sequence	Eva takes a deep breath.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan turns back to Eva, and gives her the best 'I'm So Sorry' face he can.
	Salmander	The tune was oddly romantic
	Salmander	Gaston pokes his head out
	Salmander	"EVA! HER NAME'S EVA!"
	Salmander	And then he exits again
	Sequence	Eva whips around and glares at Gaston.
	Sequence	"I'm going to trap his kitchen, I swear."
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	He smiles a bit. But not much. "Well, this is at least the most.. /interesting/ date I've been on."
	Sequence	Eva laughs. "There is that."
	Mr_Wilt	"I really am sorry. I didn't know Gaston had this all planned out."
	Mr_Wilt	"I thought we were just going to have a nice spaghetti dinner."
	Salmander	Now's your moment
	Salmander	Sitting in a cafeteria room
	Salmander	Boy you better do it soon
	Salmander	No time will be better
	Salmander	She won't say a word and she won't say a wor
	Sequence	Eva pats his hand. "It's okay, I won't hold it against you."
	Salmander	Until ya kiss the girl
	Sequence	Eva stands up and walks over to the kitchen doors.
	Salmander	A scrawny looking Frenchman bursts out of the kitchen doors
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan had no idea there were this many French people at the Area.
	Salmander	In an incredibly off-tune manner he goes "LA LA LAAA" before being strangled by his compatriots and is dragged back in
	Salmander	Gaston locks the doors
	Sequence	Eva smiles sweetly at Gaston.
	Salmander	Gaston winks at her from behind the locked doors then proceeds to beat the scrawny man
	Salmander	The spaghetti smells nice
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan sighs in relief. "Is that the end of all that?"
	Sequence	Eva turns around and shrugs. "Looks like it." She sits back down.
	Salmander	Better finish your food before it goes cold
	Mr_Wilt	He takes another bite of spaghetti. "Oh, and hey, I'm sorry you couldn't hear the brain, either. I noticed how flustered you were about it."
	Mr_Wilt	"But he was kind of a cock, anyways."
	Sequence	"Eh, I'll get over it. I was just hoping he would be like Heart, you know?"
	Salmander	As you eat through the spaghetti it becomes apparent there's something drawn on the plates
	Sequence	"Oh god."
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan moves over a bit of spaghetti to look at the drawing.
	Salmander	It's what is seemingly an accurate depiction of Eva in a sexy red dress and Nolan making out with her in a tuxedo
	Salmander	Boner alert Nolan
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan straightfaces.
	Salmander	Meanwhile Gaston watches all this from the kitchen window and nods
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan looks up at the kitchen window and stares holes through his skull.
	Salmander	Quick Nolan
	Salmander	You must stop her from finishing her spaghetti
	Mr_Wilt	Oh god how how how how.
	Mr_Wilt	Uh.
	Mr_Wilt	Uh.
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	Salmander	Think man, think
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan covertly pushes the plate over the edge of the table, smashing it to bits.
	Sequence	6df+4 PERCEPTION
	Glacon	Sequence: PERCEPTION: 3 (6df+4=0, -, +, 0, 0, -)
	Salmander	Oh my goodness
	Salmander	Gaston looks a bit outraged but does not interrupt, instead taking out his emotional difficulties on the beaten frenchman
	Mr_Wilt	6df+4 OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME FOR ONCE.
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME FOR ONCE.: 1 (6df+4=-, -, 0, 0, -, 0)
	Salmander	nope
	Sequence	Eva frowns. "Why did you just smash your plate?"
	Salmander	Good question
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan refuses to acknowledge that he smashed his plate.
	Mr_Wilt	"It was just an accident. I'm sorry."
	Sequence	Eva gives him A Look.
	Salmander	Uh-oh
	Salmander	That was totally capitalized bro
	Mr_Wilt	6df+9 Invoking Mediator
	Glacon	Mr_Wilt: Invoking Mediator: 11 (6df+9=0, +, 0, +, +, -)
	Salmander	He seems calm and rational
	Mr_Wilt	"Here, I'll go get a broom and dustpan."
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan tries his best not to frantically run into the kitchen, and looks for a broom.
	Sequence	Eva waits patiently. And eats some of her spaghetti.
	Mr_Wilt	As well as a replacement plate for her.
	Salmander	There's one in the corner
	Mr_Wilt	Because she cannot see that shit.
	Sequence	Eva only has a few bites left before she sees the bottom of her plate.
	Salmander	No extra plates
	Mr_Wilt	Fuck fuck fuck.
	Sequence	She takes another bite.
	Salmander	omg omg
	Sequence	And another.
	Salmander	Eva roll athletics for chewing speed
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan sends Gaston a message via PDA. *I need you to make more commotion in the cafeteria, and take Eva's plate.*
	Sequence	6df+4
	Glacon	Sequence: 1 (6df+4=0, -, -, -, 0, 0)
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan then steps out of the kitchen and starts to sweep up his mess.
	Salmander	Thankfully, she appears to be stuck on a very long strand
	Salmander	Gaston looks at Nolan and nods sagely
	Salmander	He shoves the scrawny frenchman out who runs up to the table and promptly grabs her plate before running off
	Sequence	Eva is left with a mouth full of spaghetti and a sudden hatred of all frenchmen.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan looks over at Gaston with his best face angry face.
	Mr_Wilt	Fake angry face*
	Salmander	The roses smell nice
	Sequence	Eva doesn't care that the roses smell nice.
	Sequence	Eva is /pissed/.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan sighs, finishing up his sweeping. "Do you want me to get you something else?"
	Sequence	"A knife so I could kill Gaston would be nice."
	Salmander	C'mon dude
	Mr_Wilt	He smiles a bit. "Anything else?"
	Salmander	You can do this
	Sequence	"Escape from here?"
	Mr_Wilt	He offers her his hand. "Sounds good to me."
	Sequence	Eva takes his hand.
	Salmander	Oh man oh man
	Salmander	better take her somewhere
	Mr_Wilt	He helps her up, and then leads her up to the roof.
	Mr_Wilt	Somewhere she's comfortable at.
	Salmander	The heart's still up there
	Salmander	Beating away
	Sequence	Eva smiles and pats Heart. "You feeling good, Heart?"
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	Salmander	BLUB DUB LUB DUB
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan takes his seat on the edge of the building. "I have absolutely no luck with taking you on dates, it seem."
	Mr_Wilt	seems
	Salmander	You can do it bro
	Sequence	"No, you really don't seem to. And especially not if you ever ask Gaston for help ever again."
	Mr_Wilt	"I'm sure he meant well."
	Sequence	"He sang songs from The Little Mermaid."
	Mr_Wilt	"At least it wasn't a song from Lady and the Tramp."
	Sequence	"Oh my god, that would have been even worse."
	Mr_Wilt	"See? He didn't do /so/ bad."
	Sequence	"I am totally getting revenge on that one guy that stole my plate, though. He was an ass."
	Sequence	Eva sits down next to him.
	Mr_Wilt	"Maybe he liked the spaghetti as much as you did."
	Mr_Wilt	"Or maybe Gaston just doesn't feed them enough."
	Salmander	Alright, that was mildly witty
	Salmander	You're getting along fine
	Sequence	She laughs. "He did look awfully scrawny."
	Mr_Wilt	"I'd offer to arrange something myself next time, but planning dates ahead like this hasn't exactly worked in my favor."
	Sequence	"And you have such a large sample size, too."
	Salmander	She just said your dick's big bro
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan chuckles. "Just imagine how a movie date would pan out."
	Sequence	"Probably a kidney would appear in front of the projector."
	Mr_Wilt	"Or a liver with an aversion to romance."
	Salmander	Good work man
	Salmander	Very organic conversation
	Sequence	"Oh man, how many organs do you think are going to show up?
	Mr_Wilt	He scratches his head. "Well, the last three organs that have shown up are proportional to each other. I'm worried that we're going to end up having a giant with sapient organs."
	Sequence	"It's still weird that none of them know anything about each other."
	Mr_Wilt	"Maybe that's a good thing."
	Sequence	"Oh, yeah, Heart. A brain showed up today."
	Salmander	It remains steady
	Mr_Wilt	"I still think it's a little weird they didn't want it introduced to Heart."
	Sequence	"That was pretty weird. Maybe because they can actually ask Brain questions."
	Mr_Wilt	"He wasn't too interested in answering questions." Nolan grins. "He was more interested in reading my mind and saying how much of an asshole Green is."
	Sequence	"Hang on, the brain could /read your mind/?"
	Mr_Wilt	"Oh, yeah, and he wasn't too afraid of telling everybody what was in it."
	Mr_Wilt	Thank God his Freudian brain didn't say anything.
	Salmander	Pay attention bro
	Sequence	"That must have been embarrassing."
	Mr_Wilt	"You have no idea."
	Sequence	Eva yawns. "Wow, it's later than I thought."
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan checks his watch. "Oh jeez, you're right."
	Mr_Wilt	He stands up, and offers her his hand. "Mind if I walk you back to your room?"
	Sequence	She smiles. "No, I don't mind, actually."
	Sequence	Eva takes his hand and stands up.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan smiles back at her, and leads her back to her room.
	Sequence	Excuse me, it's her room. There is no leading happening on either side. This walking is a joint adventure.
	Mr_Wilt	Okay, okay. My bad.
	Sequence	Either way, they make it to her room, and she smiles at Nolan.
	Mr_Wilt	Nolan smiles back at her. "That wasn't so bad, right?"
	Sequence	"No, not really. But I'm still going to trap Gaston's kitchen."
	Mr_Wilt	"I wouldn't hold you against it."
	Sequence	"Alright. Have a nice night, Nolan."
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	Mr_Wilt	He leans in, and gives her a kiss. "You too, Eva."
	Salmander	You hear frenchmen cheering from... somewhere. And then silence.
	Sequence	Eva smiles at him, and enters her room.