Pokemon Plumlee Adventures! Episode 2: Emergency at the Pok

Pokemon Plumlee Adventures!
Episode 2: Emergency at the Pokemon Lab!

[The episode opens up with Professor Bri humming to herself, watering the budew in the windows and yawning.]

Prof. Bri: Wow, it sure is good to have those two shitheads out of the way, huh?

Prof. Bri: Heh, now that they're (NNNAH~~~~) gone, I can finally whip out the good old FEMINIST TORTURE PORN collection...!!!

??? (Silhouette): Neat-o, buddy-bitch! Mind if I watch, too?

Prof. Bri: H-Huh?! Who the fuck are you?!

??? (Silhouette): Heh...

??? (Silhouette): Larvesta, use Flame Charge!

[It zooms out to an overview of the laboratory, followed by a moderate-sized explosion and the sound of Bri screaming.]

[There's a pause, before it switches to an overview of some pidgey flying and some sentrets scuttling past the road, with Jaden and Frankie walking past.]

Frankie: I swear we were supposed to take the road North from here!

Jaden: Pssh, no way, I know where I'm going! Now we just hop off of this ledge, and...!

Jaden: Shit! We're back where we're started!

Frankie: You know how to navigate as much as I know what a vagina looks like! Give me the map!

Jaden: Why would I give a ratty little bastard like you the map?!

Frankie: I'm a pure little girl! Give it to me!

[Frankie and Jaden begin to fight over the map, only for someone to shout out at them.]

???: Hey!

Frankie/Jaden: What?!

???: Huh?! Don't yell at me like that, you shitty men...! You're all a bunch of neanderthalistic pigs, I swear! Don't treat a TWILIGHT PRINCESS like that...!

Jaden: No way, is that who I think it is...?!

[Jaden whips out a magazine, flicking through it and giving a side by side comparison.]

Jaden: Shit, it is! That's the Lab Assistant to Professor Bri right there! But that's not where I know her from...

[Emma adjusts her glasses, there's the signature anime glare.]

Jaden: She's also won the “Princess of the Year” in Daddy™ Magazine five years in a row! Shit, boy, shit...!

Emma: I swear that's all you men care about is how much of a Princess I am! All men are the same...!!!

[Frankie raises his hand, smiling.]

Frankie: I hate women!

Emma: Huh?!

Frankie: Jaden said you're the Professor's Lab Assistant, right?

Emma: Well yeah, that's right, but...

Frankie: So why'd you come out here? We've already got our Pokedexes...

[Emma gasps, hiding her mouth behind her hand.]

Emma: Oh, it's awful! You've got to come quick! The Professor...

Emma: There's been a theft at the lab!

Frankie/Jaden: Huh?!

[Back to the lab, Frankie and Jaden stand in front of Professor Bri. She's been tied up by the Larvesta's String Shot, and is wriggling to get free.]

Professor Bri: And then he said, “Can I watch too?”, and blew up the lab!

Jaden: Shit, boy...

Frankie: To think that a Pokemon could blow up half the lab just like that?!

Jaden: Who could've done all this?

Prof. Bri: I've got a sneaking suspicion, but...Can you guys untie me first?! Being tied up like this is one of my kinks, and I feel like I could burst at any minute now!

Frankie: Don't worry...I LOVE sticky substances.

[Censored for family viewers.]

Jaden: B-Boy, he's slurping that shit up like....

Frankie: SPAGHETTI!!!!!!!

Jaden: (And cookies!)

[Frankie burps loudly, and when she's out of her bindings, Bri proceeds to stretch, probably suggestively.]

Bri: It feels so good to be out of that...What the fuck are you guys looking at?! Don't eye me like that, this isn't a public transit!

Jaden: So anyways, who do you think did it?

Prof. Bri: Well, if you ask me...It's gotta be that shitty mobster, Brandon Cooperton!

Frankie: Brandon Cooperton? Sounds like a real big dill if you ask me...

Prof. Bri: He's had it out for me ever since we were in the lab business, but with all his failing grades, he dropped out and resorted to crimes! Now that I've been working on something special, he must've...Oh-my-gosh!

Jaden: Huh?

[Jaden's chewing away at his lip, and Bri runs off to the backroom. There's another scream, and she comes out with her face in her hands.]

Prof. Bri: It's gone! My perfect master ball prototype is gone!

Frankie: Master Ball??

Prof. Bri: A ball that could capture any Pokemon...So that we could form bonds with them no matter what!

Jaden: Eheh...I've got some master balls right here for you, coach!

[Bri beams at Jaden, clearly unamused.]

Prof. Bri: I could go without some of your misogynistic comments, you know...

Jaden: Listen...

Jaden: As the penultimate rival with a heart of gold, I know the outlaw better than anyone else here! My “daddy-duction” instincts state...

Jaden: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime, no doubt!

Prof. Bri: Oh, you're such a load of shit!

Prof. Bri (thinking to herself): Shit...I wish I had as much mental aspiration as him! Why is HE the lovable rival?!

Jaden: That's right...!

Prof. Bri: But where could he be?

???: [OBSCENE GRUNTING NOISES.]

Jaden/Bri/Frankie: ?!

[Brandon reveals himself, sighing in relief and zipping up.]

???: Boy, do I love a good fire...

Prof. Bri (jumping up and down): That's him, that's the outlaw that took my master ball!

Brandon: What, you mean this?

[He holds out the masterball, which shines in the light.]

Frankie: Woah...!

Brandon: Eheh...And I'm guessing THESE pickleboys are the guys you've sent to beat me? Sorry to say, BRI, but these situations are kind of my BREAD-and-butter...

Prof. Bri: S-Shit...Don't call me that!

Jaden: Bread?

Prof. Bri: (It was my nickname from Pokemon School, how embarrassing...!!!)

Brandon: Larvesta, c'mon out!

[Brandon flashes his pokeball, throwing out the larvesta.]

Frankie: Woah, cool!

[He scans the larvesta with his PokeDex.]

PokeDex: Larvesta, the Torch Pokemon! These bug-type creatures make their homes near the base of volcanoes! Good home or bad home, they larva to have house-parties there!

[CLICK. Frankie pockets the PokeDex.]

Frankie: Right...We'll get that Master Ball back!

Jaden: Not so fast, Frankie Plumlee...! I'll be going, and I'll be taking that glory for myself!

Jaden: Seedot, come on out!

[The Seedot comes out, prepped and ready to battle.]

Prof. Bri: Jaden, wait, that's not the best idea...!

Jaden: Can it, Bread! Get it? Canned...Bread...I'm the most hilarious character in the show...Anyways!

Jaden: Let's show them what we're made of! Seedot...

Jaden: BIDE!!!!!

Seedot: See...

…

…

…

[A few minutes later, Brandon yawns.]

Brandon: Does it...always do this, or???

Jaden: Shut up! Something beautiful's gonna happen here in a moment!

Brandon: Eheh...You're right about that, pickleboy! Your Seedot's put itself in a bit of a pickle, storing energy like that...Now, it's all vulnerable to my Larvesta's attack! And since your Pokemon's a grass type and mine's a fire type...

Brandon; There's going to be double the damage! Picklepicklepicklepicklepickle!

[Jaden gasps.]

Jaden: Shit...!

Brandon: Larvesta...Flame Charge!

[Larvesta revs itself up, coating itself in thick flames and straight on ramming into the Seedot. Just like that, it's down for the count.]

Jaden: Fuck! Seedot, come on back...!

Brandon: Eheheh...Who's next on the chopping block?!

Frankie: Looks like it's up to me! Shuckle...come on out!

[He throws the Shuckle out, Brandon laughs again.]

Brandon: That old thing? If I'm thinking straight, it's a bug type..Also weak to fire! This'll be done in no time! You've picked yourself some B-Class students, Bri!

Frankie: Shuckle...Use Bide!

…

…

…

Brandon: This again? Really? Come on, already...Larvesta, Flame Charge!

[Larvesta hits the Shuckle with flame charge, and Frankie braces himself, but it doesn't seem to do much to the Shuckle. At all.]

Brandon: Huh...What?!

Prof. Bri: Oh, that's right! I forgot that a Shuckle was rock...It's niche is it's high defense! A flame charge like that'll do nothing to it!

Brandon: WHAT?!

[Brandon grits his teeth, letting out some kind of inaudible angry noise. He's showing off his fiery rage!]

Brandon: Are you KIDDING me?! Larvesta, use flame charge! Keep using it! Burn that fucker!

[And to no avail, Frankie's shuckle finally unleashes its' bide! Just like that, he's taken the Larvesta out!]

Brandon: Shit...!

Frankie: YEAH!! Don't FUCKLE with the SHUCKLE!

Brandon: You guys are gonna pay for this...I'm gonna burn this place to the ground!

[Brandon pulls out a match, lighting it and lifting a hand. Suddenly, his hands are handcuffed.]

Brandon: Huh?!

Officer Kayleigh: There'll be none of that today! Theft...arson...the ownership of feminist torture porn...You're off to jail, Brandon Coopertone!

Brandon: What?! Like hell I am!

Officer Kayleigh: Tch...Scum like you don't get a chance in the world, alright?! Now hand over the Pokeball and come along quietly!

Brandon: No thanks! Larvesta, smokescreen?!

[He squints, looking over at the fainted pokemon.]

Brandon: Oh. Yeah. Right. Well, shit.

Frankie: Actually...How about we lug him along with us? I wanna learn more about that masterball...

Brandon: Like I'd go along with you...!

Officer Kayleigh: Are you sure you want to stay in the Prison? You might get your dirty bubble popped by an even dirtier needle...

Brandon: ...Shit! Okay, okay, I'm tagging along! Fuck that! 100 times fuck that!

Officer Kayleigh: Who knows? You might even get some good noodle points along the way!

Brandon: I hate you guys so much...


Ryanman: So there we have it! The Master Ball retrieved, it looks like a criminal has found his road to rehab by way of our two protagonists! What'll become of him, and will he stick along like the good noodle he is? Will he use his good noodle points to buy exclusively chicken tendies?! Who knows?!

TO BE CONTINUED...