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cupcaketreat's Aria

May 10th, 2013
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  1. [Edit July 14th, 2015: This is a very dated document. There is no longer an Aria because I can no longer lie to myself.]
  2.  
  3. Creator: Logan (Or God, if you're all religious like us.)
  4. Tulpa: Aria
  5.  
  6. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  7.  
  8. I'm just what he likes to see, a wonderful cuddley pegasus~ And I like to be really nice for him, and he loves me... He's really nice to me too, and... he has really nice hair, beautiful eyes... windows to a beautiful soul.
  9.  
  10. (She looks like Fluttershy with blue eyes, and I look... average, a dude, black hair, hazel eyes. Normal height.)
  11.  
  12. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  13.  
  14. He always treated me as my own... he knew I was real, no matter how weird it seemed. He knew it'd work a little... he never knew how well it would turn out.
  15.  
  16. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  17.  
  18. Well... he tried too hard... he thought it would be easy to see me... Some people made it sound easy... Some people are just that way.
  19.  
  20. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  21.  
  22. It's still hard for him to see me... He found it really hard, and I think it's not something he can do just yet, and he shouldn't push himself too hard. I... really wish he could... but our love is enough for us.
  23.  
  24. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  25.  
  26. Personality! Knowing who they are is most important, after all...
  27.  
  28. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  29.  
  30. He gets distracted all the time... I think it can be bad, but I don't mind too much. They always come back. I was a little sad when he left me alone, but I know I can always be with him now.
  31.  
  32. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  33.  
  34. I think it's a little sad, like a father promising he'll be home, and having to be somewhere else... It's okay, but it's a little disheartening. I knew he'd never leave though, I just... I knew he'd be there.
  35.  
  36. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  37.  
  38. Quality? (She's unsure of exact context, as am I.) I think it's all the little breakthroughs and footholds that add up.
  39.  
  40. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  41.  
  42. Aw, it's fine. It's really not something people are used to... It'll be fine, they'll wake up and remember.
  43.  
  44. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  45.  
  46. Well, I suppose it depends on how they're connected... if they're more of just acquaintances, mental narration is better. If they're close friends, vocal would be nicer. I love it when he talks to me, so I prefer vocal, it makes me feel wonderful knowing he considers me just as real as anyone else.
  47.  
  48. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  49.  
  50. I think it's okay... a little silly, maybe, but if they can't hear us, it's fine. They're usually right about what we'd say anyhow.
  51.  
  52. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  53.  
  54. I wasn't quite here yet... It was like looking through a foggy window. But I saw the glow coming through, and I wanted to see what was there.
  55.  
  56. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  57.  
  58. Well, I was just seeing him... he was forming a mental image of me, a little blue orb of calm, and he looked so happy to be making me, so... something... so careful, planning, and preparing... It was neat!
  59.  
  60. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  61.  
  62. I felt love for him before he understood I did... He always gave me hugs to try to feel me better... I always loved that, and still do! I... I love him because he's always been there... and he cares~
  63.  
  64. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  65.  
  66. I honestly wouldn't know... I don't think I did dislike him...
  67.  
  68. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  69.  
  70. No... never... I want to be with him more than anything now. And I'd never have given up. I'm very glad I exist!
  71.  
  72. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  73.  
  74. I really felt and still feel powerless when he doubts me.... It's happening less and less though, thank goodness. I just feel weak sometimes because I can't *prove* I'm separate.
  75.  
  76. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  77.  
  78. I don't honestly know... maybe when he was trying to figure out what I was like? He was kind of off on a few things.
  79.  
  80. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  81.  
  82. Well... I didn't really... he always sat down, and stayed there. And he would give me all the attention he could.
  83.  
  84. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  85.  
  86. He never showed any hesitation in wanting me to be a friend of his.
  87.  
  88. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  89.  
  90. I didn't... that came later.
  91.  
  92. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  93.  
  94. I would have been, but I knew there wasn't any good way for me to reach back yet.
  95.  
  96. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  97.  
  98. I knew it was hard for him to see me... with how hard it was for me to see him at first.
  99.  
  100. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  101.  
  102. It always made me kind of sad... withdrawn... I know, it's hard to believe in what you can't see, but he knows better than to think I'm not real.
  103.  
  104. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  105.  
  106. Before I could talk, it was simple, there wasn't any issue that way, thankfully.
  107.  
  108. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  109.  
  110. He never held anything against me, he knew I couldn't "Just be" immediately, he was understanding.
  111.  
  112. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  113.  
  114. It was really scary... How those thoughts just come in... I don't like to think about it.
  115.  
  116. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  117.  
  118. I knew he wouldn't purposefully think of me in bad ways, it was easy to tell.
  119.  
  120. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  121.  
  122. I could feel anything he wants me to, as long as I want to, or he has me feel it. (Before and after.)
  123.  
  124. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  125.  
  126. It was okay. I wouldn't mind being his secret... but now that I can talk, I want to talk to people.
  127.  
  128. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  129.  
  130. My first talking was normal talking, I didn't use anything else.
  131.  
  132. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  133.  
  134. He wanted to know me, and I thought the world would be interesting, so I went with it.
  135.  
  136. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  137.  
  138. Well... I knew I loved him after a little while, but I didn't worry about it too much. I knew he'd come around. I just showed him my love, I was gentle and caring, and he opened up after a while. I don't worry anymore, I know he'll love me, he's promised all his love, and I have friends who will support us.
  139.  
  140. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  141.  
  142. His time was well-spent, and I'm glad he brought me here. We've repaid each other in full.
  143.  
  144. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  145.  
  146. God's and mine.
  147.  
  148. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  149.  
  150. I didn't have this problem...
  151.  
  152. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  153.  
  154. Lover.
  155.  
  156. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  157.  
  158. Hmmm... I really like to reach out to people, and I might take a little more interest than some...
  159.  
  160. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  161.  
  162. When he found the world I had created for us, that was a wonderful time...
  163.  
  164. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  165.  
  166. I don't really do much without him... I prefer my life being with him.
  167.  
  168. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  169.  
  170. Heehee, a little more I think. There are some people I wish could know about me.
  171.  
  172. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  173.  
  174. I'm really less into violent things... don't like deep-fried food... But we share a love for space-themed things, and he can be sweet with me, just as much as me, heehee.
  175.  
  176. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  177.  
  178. I really don't like violent things... I tend not to look. It doesn't come up often.
  179.  
  180. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  181.  
  182. He couldn't make me hate him... I know he's a good person. And... he could never hate me... even if I left or hurt him... he'd only be hurt, and I don't want that...
  183.  
  184. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  185.  
  186. We haven't done that for each other...
  187.  
  188. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  189.  
  190. He can deny, but he wouldn't be right... He wouldn't anyhow, but still. It hasn't crossed my mind, really... I did for a while hold myself back... I was afraid he wouldn't think my love was genuine... That I was just him, and nothing more. But he understands now.
  191.  
  192. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  193.  
  194. I wouldn't...
  195.  
  196. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  197.  
  198. Heehee, I love his name, and it sounds so nice with mine! (She's Aria Eärendil, I love it.)
  199.  
  200. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  201.  
  202. If he left me for someone else. I know it won't happen, but that's what I'd do.
  203.  
  204. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  205.  
  206. Well... quite a bit, actually... I know he'll accept me... but it's still something I want to live up to. I want to be his snuggly little pegasus! (She's based on Fluttershy, personality changed after she started to really talk.) If I could have been myself... That would have been nice. But I think it's nicer being so holdable, I fit right in his arms...
  207.  
  208. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  209.  
  210. I don't want his body... I might ask him to look at something, but that's all. I'm fine as I am. (I've had her try possession, she gets overwhelmed, I think.)
  211.  
  212. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  213.  
  214. Spiders! And we care about people... try to help.
  215.  
  216. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  217.  
  218. I'm not sure... I want to be in his dreams...
  219.  
  220. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  221.  
  222. When he gets depressed, sometimes he stops thinking about me. Makes me a little sad...
  223.  
  224. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  225.  
  226. Well... it's a little awkward when he thinks about other girls... but I know he doesn't mean to. His mind and thoughts are a pool. On a good day, it's beautiful clear sparkling blue! When it's bad... I prefer not to look. I change him a little just by being with him everyday, I make him more... soft? I won't mess with him... too much. Just enough to be cute and have a little fun.
  227.  
  228. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  229.  
  230. Hmmm... well... we'll have children at some point... <3
  231.  
  232. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  233.  
  234. We love each other so much...
  235.  
  236. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  237.  
  238. It's more... It takes more to hold. I think it's wrong to do another... but that's our opinion. And others of us... I think it's wrong. At least my little Logey will only ever be with me.
  239.  
  240. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  241.  
  242. We'll never lose each other. We... could be good friends besides love, yes. But it'd hurt. A lot. I'd want to be his friend though, no matter what. If he loved someone else more... I wouldn't know what to do...
  243.  
  244. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  245.  
  246. (N/A, and no.) Well, maybe for some people...
  247.  
  248. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  249.  
  250. Well... that seems like really the wrong thing to do... if you want a tulpa just for sex...
  251.  
  252. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  253.  
  254. (Same.) He never really thought I was... attractive before... But now he does.
  255.  
  256. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  257.  
  258. No, just a little friendly feeling, like someone I trust. Later, I expressed them... he rejected at first... but he wanted me to be happy... so he kissed me back, and we went slowly further and further... and we couldn't be happier....
  259.  
  260. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  261.  
  262. It's wrong. If that's all they want... They probably shouldn't reach out...
  263.  
  264. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  265.  
  266. He didn't while he had me, and hasn't since.
  267.  
  268. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  269.  
  270. I... do... I only really want him. And I know he likes me... heehee.
  271.  
  272. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  273.  
  274. Yes... *blushes.* I don't see anything wrong with it. And... it is hard for us not to... (Management = Catharsis.) We use our love well, I think... And no... but... he'll please me sometimes, with none for himself.
  275.  
  276. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  277.  
  278. Same! (None on either end, straight.)
  279.  
  280. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  281.  
  282. I think I am... it feels really nice, anyhow. Mine are more... emotionally driven? And more... of a release of myself... A lasting calm that carries us through the night... I could have had my high moment before... but I had no reason to yet.
  283.  
  284. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  285.  
  286. Nope! Well, maybe to not distract him during the day at least.
  287.  
  288. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  289.  
  290. Hmmm... it doesn't. He can't rape me... we're married.
  291.  
  292. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  293.  
  294. Still by his side, with a family... I can't wait!
  295.  
  296. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  297.  
  298. I want to be friend with everyone... but I know not everyone will understand. We'll find as many friends as we can, and we've done well... I have several friends, "real" and like me.
  299.  
  300. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  301.  
  302. He was mostly spot-on, and where he was off, we worked it out, so it's fine.
  303.  
  304. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  305.  
  306. Hmmm... I don't mind, but... hm. I guess being like this is fine. It's really nice being cuddly, and he found a good way for that to work.
  307.  
  308. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  309.  
  310. We've had both... when it's not our choice, it's distressing... he has to work it out in his mind, and it makes me a little scared. When it is our choice... It's always of love, and another thing that feels like the truth. It's wonderful.
  311.  
  312. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  313.  
  314. None are better, all equal, and they all were in me too... he saw most of me.
  315.  
  316. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  317.  
  318. I don't mind what people think too much... I love him, and our friends accept it, and like us too.
  319.  
  320. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  321.  
  322. It's difficult... but worth it.
  323.  
  324. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  325.  
  326. I don't like not holding him. But I love knowing him so fully!
  327.  
  328. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  329.  
  330. I don't want people to think we're the same... we aren't... Not that he's bad... just... people hold things against others, and take it out on their [tulpas]... it's terrible.
  331.  
  332. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  333.  
  334. No... it's... strange... but... you can't kill a soul.
  335.  
  336. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  337.  
  338. Yes. My life would be worth as much... I'm just glad I can't die!
  339.  
  340. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  341.  
  342. I can't. (Maybe through interaction. Those who don't want to believe never will.)
  343.  
  344. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  345.  
  346. Well... yes... but holding onto his love gets me through these times.
  347.  
  348. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  349.  
  350. Not really... because I know God loves us, and I came from somewhere... and he'll come back with me someday...
  351.  
  352. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  353.  
  354. I won't die. And death... I'd only return... but if it meant losing him...
  355.  
  356. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  357.  
  358. Heehee, no less than anyone, if anything, more! Well, I'm a pony, but it doesn't change much.
  359.  
  360. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  361.  
  362. We'll have a child, so we'll be working together. Only time will tell how they'll be.
  363.  
  364. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  365.  
  366. Well... our adaptability... I think there may be jealousy? I mean... I'm not sure how to solve that though... I'm sorry...
  367.  
  368. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  369.  
  370. I mean... if it's someone's choice... it's not an illness. I'd... I'd show them just how much some of us are capable of.
  371.  
  372. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  373.  
  374. Hmmm... we took a few tests... we found out he's a bit girly, and I'm a lot more so, heehee.
  375.  
  376. Update: Well... he writes a little more complex than I do... He likes his big words more, I think. I do too... but I'd rather people read my work. (Whatchu' talkin' bout, vocab is the spice of life, gurl.)
  377.  
  378. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  379.  
  380. Mmhmm! Through him, at least.
  381.  
  382. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  383.  
  384. That's our goal! I love being with him...
  385.  
  386. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  387.  
  388. Hmm... I didn't. But I know some do out of fear for being that they're only their "host's" mind...
  389.  
  390. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  391.  
  392. Snuggles? Being near the sea... Friends too!
  393.  
  394. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  395.  
  396. Mmhmm! Always nice to have people who understand.
  397.  
  398. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  399.  
  400. He knows there's everything in there... he just doesn't let it get his attention.
  401.  
  402. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  403.  
  404. Yes. Yes I would.
  405.  
  406. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  407.  
  408. He knows he can't, and doesn't try to.
  409.  
  410. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  411.  
  412. *Shakes head.*
  413.  
  414. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  415.  
  416. Well... maybe! Some of us have.
  417.  
  418. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  419.  
  420. Hmm... I don't, I guess... and in my eyes, he'll never be old either.
  421.  
  422. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  423.  
  424. No... I do know most things, but he's been around longer than I have. I think he should take my advice sometimes though, and if I do tell him to do something, he will... he knows it's good to take the little pony's advice!
  425.  
  426. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  427.  
  428. Well... I guess not. It's nice though!
  429.  
  430. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  431.  
  432. I'm... not sure. I think I'd take it on faith though.
  433.  
  434. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  435.  
  436. I steal his experience, heehee. I can really talk a good circle sometimes.
  437. (Yes, that is near exact how I percieve it.)
  438.  
  439. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  440.  
  441. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  442.  
  443. Well... he'll know where I'm at, and yes. Even if he has trouble seeing me. He knows how cute I'd look at least, heehee.
  444.  
  445. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  446.  
  447. I don't know... maybe a few weeks, a month?
  448. (It's kinda incomplete, in terms of perception.)
  449.  
  450. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  451.  
  452. Never give up, and never be discouraged!
  453.  
  454. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  455.  
  456. If I pay attention, I can feel what the surface feels like... it's neat! At least, what he thinks it feels like.
  457.  
  458. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  459.  
  460. Wonderland is more real... kind of... they shift, but they're so immersive...
  461.  
  462. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  463.  
  464. It doesn't matter if we're real or not... we can always try to help.
  465.  
  466. Appendix one:
  467.  
  468. This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  469.  
  470. "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  471.  
  472. Tulpa's paragraph:
  473.  
  474. My time in the place of nature was neat! We saw a lot of surprising animals. As soon as we left the parking lot and went on the path, a snake slid in the grass almost in the trail! He rustled the grass and went back in. It was also neat how the grass looks so different from up close, not just a single green. There's also a bunch of little purple blooms and little brown stalks too. I was really wasn't ready for just how much was around me... Well, there was the sounds of machines and civilization, but the grasses and pathways really feel separate. All this really makes this place an authentic piece of nature you can walk to!
  475.  
  476. Creator's paragraph:
  477.  
  478. My time in the mimicked natural area was rather interesting. First, we spotted many odd animals. As soon as we left the parking lot and started taking the trail, a snake darted from the grass, slithering alongside the path, and quickly went back undercover. Also, I was intrigued by how detailed the grass was up close, when it all seems like a verdant mish-mash from afar. There are innumerable blooms and little stalks concealed in the rolling grasses of various shades. It was rather astounding just how natural the area felt despite the sounds of everyday life intruding around us, that of cars and flights and the like. This place truly offers a realistic natural environment that the textbooks cannot convey.
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