One-on-One Hot Mare Line (Maud)

>"Hey."
"Hello."
>"What're you wearing?"
"Clothing."
>"What clothing?"
"A dress."
>"Oooh... What's under the dress?"
"My fur."
>You look over at the sign.
>Be dirty.
"It's dirty."
>"It is? Well how about I wash that dirt off you?"
"Please do. Use the soap."
>"Mmm... Do you like it when I rub you there?"
"Rub me where?"
>"...everywhere."
"I don't like it in my eyes."
>"W-wait, no, not in your eyes."
"But you said everywhere."
>"Everywhere except your eyes."
"I don't like soap in my nostrils."

-CLICK-

>"Hey cutie."
"Hello."
>"How are you today?"
"Good."
>"That's good... I don't really like foreplay, so can we skip to the part where you talk dirty to me?"
"Alright."
>Clear your throat.
"Dust. Mud. Mold. Rotten meat."

-CLICK-

>"Hi."
"Hey."
>"What's up doll?"
"The ceiling."
>"Oooh, a smart one aren't you?"
"I would consider myself having an above average IQ."
>"I like smart girls. Could you talk to me as if you were a librarian?"
"Yes. Sir, you forgot to return your books last week."
>"Oh no, I'm sorry."
"That'll be 10 bits."
>"Surely there's something I can do to change your mind..."
"I don't think so sir. And my name is not Shirley."

-CLICK-

>"Hiya!"
"Hello."
>"Is this the one on one hot mare line?"
"It is."
>"Awesome! Moan for me!"
"Mmmm. Oh yes."
>"Keep going..."
"Harder. Uunnnggg."
>"Say something hot."
"The sun."
>"N-no, something erotic."
"Use my body for procreative purposes."
>"This isn't working out."

-CLICK-

>"Hello?"
"Hello."
>"Tell me about yourself."
"I like rocks."
>"You like... rocks?"
"I do."
>"Well what do you like to do with rocks?"
"I have a pet rock. His name is Boulder. We play games together."
>"I uhh... Umm..."

-CLICK-

>"Maud, your sales for this week were awful."
"I'm sorry."
>Pinkie enters the office and sits across from you.
>She picks up the phone when it rings.
>"Hey, I can fit six balloons in my ass."
>She winks at you.
>You should get a real job.