Don't Hug /v/, I'm Scared: NMS

Red: Oh, I guess it's my turn to choose a card.
Red: Let's see: What is the biggest game in the world?
Duck: Hmmmm... That's a tricky one!
Yellow: A Skyrim? A Minecraft? A WoW?
Duck: No!

Red: I wonder if there's a game that's as big as the world...

Duck: Yes, if only there was some way to play a game like this...

Yellow: Wow, look!

Computer: I AM A GAME DEV
Computer: I AM A TRUSTWORTHY GUY

Computer: DON'T LET THEM TELL YOU THAT IT'S ALL HYPE AND LIES

Computer: I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU
Computer: INSIDE MY DIGITAL RIDE
Computer: INSIDE MY RIDE THERE MIGHT BE PLAYERS TO FIND

Red: Oh, maybe you can help us answer this question: Will you be able to encounter other players in No Man-

Computer: AWESOME!
Computer: I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME, YOU GUYS!
Computer: IT MIGHT TAKE FIFTY YEARS, BEFORE YOU CAN FIND
Computer: ANOTHER PLAYER
Computer: MEANWHILE YOU CAN JUST MINE
Computer: FIND EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO FIND

Computer: OH IT'S EASY TO BE
Computer: AN INDIE HACK FRAUD LIKE ME
Computer: IF YOU CREATE YOUR GAMES PROCEDURALLY

Yellow: Wow, I'd like to be as greedy as a game dev.
Red: Actually, we already cancelled our pre-orders-

Computer: GREAT, GREAT NEWS,
Computer: NOW, BEFORE WE BEGIN OUR JOURNEY, I JUST NEED TO PANDER SOME LIES TO YOU
Computer: IT HAS MULTIPLAYER!
Computer: THERE'S NO DLC!
Computer: IT'S FUN TO PLAY!

Duck: I'll play with my friends!
Yellow: Free updates!
Red: I play xbo-

Computer: GREAT NEWS!
Computer: NOW JUST A BIT MORE PANDERING, AND WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY!

Red: Wait a second...

Computer: WHATS YOUR FAVORITE PLANET

Red: Stop lying

Computer: DO YOU LIKE RED OR BLUE MINERALS?

Red: Be quiet

Computer: DID YOU WATCH E3?
Computer: WHAT IS YOUR SHIP TYPE?
Computer: DO YOU OWN A PLAYSTA-

Red: Shut up!

Computer: JUST TRUST MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

...

Computer: WELCOME. TO MY NO MANS SKY HOME
Computer: EVERYTHING'S MADE OUT OF PROCEDURED CODE

Duck: Wow! We're all lagging!

Red: Oh yeah, Wow...wow...wow...

Red: Because of the computer...

Yellow: I don't get it.
Yellow: How can it be?
Yellow: When you sold us game, but there's no fun on screen?

Computer: BUT YOU'RE NOT YOU
Computer: YOU'RE YOUR SCAMMED YOU
Computer: ESSENTIALLY SAME BUT BLEW YOUR MONEY SHIT TOO

Duck: But if he blew his money, then I blew it too!
Duck: And your games not fun too,
Duck: it's just lies from real you!

Red: Oh wow how amazing
Red: and interesting too
Red: but in no mans sky, what can we do?

...

Red: What can we do-

Computer: HEY GREAT QUESTION
Computer: WELL ITS UP TO YOU
Computer: IN THIS SHITTY SCAM GAME
Computer: THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO

Yellow: Wow, look, some iron!
Duck: Digital Creatures!
Computer: DO SOME DIGITAL FLYING, HEY THIS IS FUN!

Yellow: Wow, look, plutonium!
Duck: Digital Creatures!
Computer: DO SOME DIGITAL MINING, HEY THIS IS FUN!

Yellow: Wow, look, some platinum!
Duck: Digital Creatures!
Computer: DO SOME DIGITAL TRADING, HEY THIS IS FUN!

Yellow: Wow, look, some carbon!
Duck: Digital Creatures!
Computer: HEAR ME DIGITAL LYING, HEY THIS IS FUN!

Yellow: Wow, look, another player!
Duck: Digital Creatures!
Computer: HEAR ME DIGITAL LYING, HEY THIS IS FUN!

*The last verse gets repeated for the rest of the song*