Autists in Equestria

>Day "Why me?" in equestria
>You never expected the stories to be true.
>You always thought that in most cases it's elaborate trolling or just "pretending to be retarded".
>Silly you.
>The stories were true all along!
>The autism in this fandom knows NO boundaries.
>There he is, the faggot who is absolutely sure he's married to Twilight.
>Beaten and bruised he pouts in front of the campfire, holding his plushie tightly, glaring at everyone around him.
>It was actually him who tried to beat everyone up in the name of his wife. Not even his waifu.
>Who is everyone?
>Almost a freaken hundred of the biggest and most retarded autists who ever came from the fandom.
>And you. A normalfag. Who just wants off this ride.
>You don't even want the horse pussy for god's sake!
>This however should never be known by the public as you still hold some kind of control over the croud.
>You were the one, who establised the camp after all.
>Fun fact #1
>Autists have no sense of self preservation
>Not everyone was pro the camp idea.
>When you ended up in the middle of what's undoubtedly everfree about a dozen retards flipped you off and went to meet their waifus.
>They returned soon enough however. Not all of them though.
>Lets just say Manticores aren't the only flesh-eating monsters in the forest.
"ALLRIGHT EVERYONE! LISTEN UP!"
>Heads slowly turn to you, annoyed glances, grumpy faces.
>One particularly skinny autist screams in a whiny voice
>"Why should we be listening to you? No one named you a leader! No one voted for you!"
>A couple muted yeahs are heard.
"Do you have OTHER candidatures? Preferably anyone who knows something about survival as I do? Anyone else not dropping spaghetti and having leader skills? Shut your mouth and stick your democracy ideas up your bitchy little ass! I don't want to die from a stray manticore, so we are going to act like a fucking military camp till we get out of the forest!"
>Allright, he can't meet your eyes. Good. Fucking pussy.
"Are we clear on that or not? Hope we are, because the next faggot who tries to raise his voice gets thrown out of the clearing into the dark and scary forest!"
>Provided you will definitely not be able to push some of these giant meat bags, but they don't have to know this. Power and authority.
"Now first thing on our agenda is waifu wars. From this moment on any mention of the words best or worst pony is considered sabotage! You want another dozen maimed people? Fine, great, but do it outside the camp and never fucking return!"
>A little croud gathered in front of you actually listening.
>And this one faggot is waving his hand the whole time
"Allright WHAT? What do you want?"
>"Uhh... there's... there's this guy... uhhh he claimed he's Rainbow Dash and asked everyone to... you know..."
"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD let me unhear it. And?"
>"Well... c-can I be... dissmissed? I won't be long, I promise!"
>Today was a scream in frustration day.