Jack: Enter

[16:53] <shootdawhoop99> You check your computer and on the screen you see Jack's "secret" lair
[16:53] <Ikki> Thats odd, is this just a live feed of his room?
[16:54] <Ikki> SC: Jack! What have you sent me?
[16:54] <shootdawhoop99> A pop-up menu shows up with machines in the slots
[16:54] <Ikki> Is he just showing off his machines to me now? The nerve!
[16:54] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Just the same game you sent me, of course, I'm sure an excellent girlfriend such as yourself already knows what she's doing.
[16:55] <Ikki> I try closing the menu.
[16:55] <Ikki> SC: Of course.
[16:55] <shootdawhoop99> You cannot close the menu
[16:55] <Jack_Mercer> What the heck is she talking about? So far the game isn't doing anything interesting for me.
[16:55] <Ikki> SC: Why are you showing me these machines? I didnt ask for this screen!
[16:56] <Jack_Mercer> NM: What?
[16:56] <Ikki> I click on the first machine to the left in a vain attempt of finding a way to close out this dreaded screen.
[16:57] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I haven't even loaded up the game yet.
[16:57] <shootdawhoop99> You click the machine and the machine enters the space. Jack sees a giant machine floating in his face
[16:57] <Ikki> SC: Just enter my handle I guess.
[16:57] <shootdawhoop99> You have not set it down yet
[16:57] <Jack_Mercer> "JESUS FUCK!"
[16:57]  * Jack_Mercer jumps out of his chair away from the computer and backs away from the machine.
[16:57] <Ikki> What the hell is this? I try clicking it down somewhere away from Jack.
[16:58] <shootdawhoop99> The machine materializes on the floor. It has a large tube in the middle of it
[16:58] <Ikki> I try double clicking the machine.
[16:59] <shootdawhoop99> You lift the machine from the ground again
[17:00] <Ikki> I set it back down, a little dissapointed that it didnt do anything.
[17:00] <Ikki> SC: I think your character has to interact with it Jack.
[17:00] <shootdawhoop99> You lose 2 build grist
[17:00] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I told you, it hasn't even opened yet.
[17:01] <Ikki> SC: Then whos character is on my screen.
[17:01] <Ikki> SC: That looks EXACTLY like you.
[17:01] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Wait...
[17:01] <Ikki> I look at my other options and click on Phernalia registry, because it sounded neat.
[17:01] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Hey, just, for no particular reason, in the game have you maybe, I don't know, placed down a big machine with a kind of tube thing?
[17:02] <Jack_Mercer> I start walking towards the machine, and inspect it.
[17:03] <shootdawhoop99> Opening the phernalia registry, you see more machines
[17:03] <Ikki> SC: Yeah.
[17:03] <Ikki> Whats with this game and machines? This is a very machine oriented game.
[17:03] <shootdawhoop99> The machine has a large tube in the middle and a wheel on the side
[17:03] <Ikki> I put another machine down at random.
[17:03] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Oh... oh god.
[17:04] <shootdawhoop99> You set down a semi-long machine called a punch designtrix
[17:04] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Just, maybe asking for a similar random reason, did you just put down another one, maybe one that looks kind of like a fucked up piano?
[17:05] <Jack_Mercer> I start trying to turn the wheel, figuring I might as well just see what these things are.
[17:05] <Ikki> SC: Yeah, its called a "punch designtrix"
[17:05] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Well then.
[17:05] <shootdawhoop99> !roll for wheel turning
[17:05] <Tyche[Dice]> shootdawhoop99 rolled : for wheel turning --> error: malformed expression
[17:06] <shootdawhoop99> !roll 1d20 for wheel turning
[17:06] <Tyche[Dice]> shootdawhoop99 rolled : 1d20 for wheel turning --> [ 1d20=14 ]{14}
[17:06] <shootdawhoop99> The wheel does not budge
[17:06] <Jack_Mercer> I deploy a Jackbot and order it to turn the wheel for me.
[17:07] <Ikki> I click on the alchemy excursus button in the top menu.
[17:07] <shootdawhoop99> !roll 1d20 for robot wheel turn
[17:07] <Tyche[Dice]> shootdawhoop99 rolled : 1d20 for robot wheel turn --> [ 1d20=18 ]{18}
[17:08] <shootdawhoop99> The pop comes off with a might turn and a strange red cylinder comes out with a strange glowing orb
[17:09] <Jack_Mercer> OK, so it's becoming clear that this game is letting Ikki drop things inside my secret lair.
[17:09] <Jack_Mercer> I send one of my robots to go retrieve the orb and cylinder for me.
[17:10] <shootdawhoop99> The robot retrieves the cylinder and brings it to you, the robot then tries to leap for the floating and glowing orb
[17:10] <shootdawhoop99> !roll 1d20 for robot leap
[17:10] <Tyche[Dice]> shootdawhoop99 rolled : 1d20 for robot leap --> [ 1d20=12 ]{12}
[17:11] <shootdawhoop99> The robot successfully leaps for the orb
[17:11] <shootdawhoop99> With a bright flash, the orb changes into a visage of the robot
[17:11] <Jack_Mercer> NM: What just happened?
[17:11] <shootdawhoop99> You now have robotsprite
[17:12] <Ikki> SC: I dunno, I'm looking at the alchemy excursus screen.
[17:12] <Jack_Mercer> Clearly I'm dealing with a super weapon which can assimilate what it touches into itself, I don't know its purpose, but it will need to be handled with the utmost caution.
[17:13] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, so, Ikki, what if, on a purely hypothetical level, this game was kind of letting you drop things into my house and I just unleashed a glowing super weapon out of one of them?
[17:14] <Ikki> SC: Why would you give me a game like that?
[17:14] <Jack_Mercer> I look at the cylinder the robot just gave me, and then look back at the machines, trying to figure out how the other ones will unleash more super weapons.
[17:15] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I could ask YOU the same question.
[17:15] <shootdawhoop99> The machines look completely harmless, the perfect disguise
[17:17] <Ikki> I decide to close out of the alchemy excursus menu. Obviously nothing is going on in it yet, so i must give it more ti- what the fuck is going on here.
[17:17] <Ikki> SC: What is that thing?
[17:17] <Jack_Mercer> NM: It's a SUPER WEAPON that this GAME unleashed! It assimilated my robot!
[17:18] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I don't know why it hasn't attacked yet, maybe it's just toying with me.
[17:18] <shootdawhoop99> Robotsprite just hovers there
[17:18] <Ikki> SC: Super weapon? Jack, everyone knows that super heroes dont deploy super weapons.
[17:19] <Ikki> SC: Its obviously a super force of good/
[17:19] <Jack_Mercer> NM: IT ASSIMILATED MY ROBOT! WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD TOUCHED IT?!
[17:19] <Ikki> SC: It assimilated the robot to the force of good!
[17:21] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I have no words for that.
[17:23] <Ikki> I try clicking on the now assimiliated robosprite
[17:23] <Jack_Mercer> NM: OK, are there any other machines you can put down? Because this tube one, in addition to the "super force of good", gave me this weird dowel thing, and I don't see what I'm supposed to do with it unless maybe it's supposed to be a food source for the assimilator.
[17:24] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite evades your clicking
[17:24] <Ikki> What a tricky little robot!
[17:24] <Jack_Mercer> I try holding out the dowel towards the robotsprite, "hey... who's a good super weapon? You want a... uh... treat?"
[17:25] <Ikki> I put down the rest of the machines in the phernalia registry.
[17:26] <shootdawhoop99> You deploy the alchemiter and the totem lathe
[17:26] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite point towards the totem lathe
[17:27] <Jack_Mercer> NM: You couldn't have let me have SOME say in how you're going to redecorate my lair?
[17:29] <Jack_Mercer> I hesitantly begin walking towards the lathe holding the the dowel before me. When a super weapon tells you to do something, you should probably do it.
[17:30] <Ikki> SC: This is all for the good of humanity trust me.
[17:30] <Ikki> I click on the explore anthenum
[17:31] <shootdawhoop99> The anthenum is empty at the current moment
[17:32] <shootdawhoop99> The lathe has an empty spot a dowel would fit perfectly into
[17:32] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Going out on a limb here, I don't think the good of humanity requires my lair to be trashed by random machines and an assimilating super weapon.
[17:33] <Ikki> I close out of that.
[17:33] <Ikki> SC: IT DOES! Trust me.
[17:33] <Jack_Mercer> Well, let's see here, anger a super weapon, or put the dowel here, hard choice. I think sarcastically as I put the dowel in the spot.
[17:33] <shootdawhoop99> A new item has appeared in the phernalia
[17:34] <shootdawhoop99> The dowel fits perfectly
[17:34] <Ikki> A new item?! Lets deploy it! Must deploy all items for the sake of humanity!
[17:35] <Jack_Mercer> NM: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
[17:35] <shootdawhoop99> You set down a pre-punched card
[17:35] <shootdawhoop99> In front of Jack
[17:35] <Ikki> SC: A capchacard?
[17:35] <Jack_Mercer> NM: It's been punched with holes?
[17:36] <Ikki> SC: Try getting the item out of it!
[17:36] <Jack_Mercer> I pick it up and try to uncaptcha whatever's inside it.
[17:37] <shootdawhoop99> As there are holes in the card, the item is irretrievable
[17:37] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite points towards the totem lathe again
[17:37] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I can't these holes make it useless, the super weapon wants me to do something involving this machine though?
[17:38] <Jack_Mercer> I look back to the lathe for something else I can do with it.
[17:38] <Ikki> SC: Follow it! Its guiding you now like a true force of good!
[17:38] <shootdawhoop99> There appears to be a card slot
[17:39] <Jack_Mercer> NM: That or it's making me assemble these machines to produce more of its kind! It isn't able to touch them because it'd assimilate them, but I can do it no problem!
[17:39] <Jack_Mercer> I put the card into the slot.
[17:40] <shootdawhoop99> Spikes come out above the dowel and carve it into a strange wavy shape
[17:41] <Ikki> SC: Dont you trust your lovely gf?
[17:41] <Jack_Mercer> I wait until its done and then take out the carved totem, looking at the super weapon for further instructions.
[17:41] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite points towards the alchemiter
[17:42] <Jack_Mercer> I take it over to the alchemiter, looking at it suspiciously.
[17:42] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite gets uncomfortably close to you as you approach the alchemiter
[17:43] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I mean, yes I trust you, you've got that whole, stupid truth and justice s- OH MY GOD WHY IS IT GETTING SO CLOSE!
[17:43] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite remains uncomfortably close
[17:44] <Jack_Mercer> I look at the alchemiter trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with this carved thing, and trying my best to ignore the super weapon uncomfortably close to my not-super-weapon-proof back.
[17:45] <shootdawhoop99> There is a large platform with a smaller platform off to the side
[17:46] <Jack_Mercer> I put it on the smaller platform, maybe a world ruled by assimilating super weapons won't be so bad?
[17:46] <shootdawhoop99> With a large white flash, a red flag appears on the platform
[17:46] <Jack_Mercer> NM: A flag?
[17:47] <Jack_Mercer> I walk over and pick up the flag. "A flag..."
[17:47] <shootdawhoop99> You pick up the flag. It has no markings on it
[17:48] <Ikki> SC: Huh.
[17:48] <Ikki> SC: Wave it around some!
[17:49] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Seriously?
[17:49] <Ikki> SC: Yeah!
[17:49] <Ikki> SC: See what it does!
[17:49] <Jack_Mercer> NM: It's a flag, it'll flutter like flags do, and I'll look like a dork waving a flag around in front of a super weapon/force of good.
[17:50] <Ikki> SC: Do it!!!
[17:50] <Jack_Mercer> NM: FINE!
[17:50] <Jack_Mercer> I wave the flag around.
[17:50] <Ikki> SC: Yay!!!!
[17:51] <shootdawhoop99> It flutters like flags do, and you look like a dork
[17:51] <Ikki> SC: Dont you feel better now?
[17:51] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Not even remotely.
[17:51] <shootdawhoop99> Robosprite judges you
[17:51] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Great, now the super weapon/force of good thinks I'm a dork.
[17:52] <Ikki> SC: I wonder what it really wants you to do though.
[17:52] <Ikki> SC: Seems pointless.
[17:52] <Ikki> SC: But fun to wave around!
[17:52] <shootdawhoop99> The cruxtruder starts a timer at the base of the machine
[17:52] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I mean, I guess flags are cool.
[17:52] <shootdawhoop99> 1 minute 30 seconds
[17:52] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Oh hey look at that, a timer, how completely not terrifying.
[17:53] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I'm gonna die when that reaches 0, aren't I?
[17:54] <Ikki> SC: Of course not.
[17:54] <Ikki> SC: Why would a game kill you?
[17:54] <shootdawhoop99> The timer continues to do down
[17:55] <Ikki> SC: Hm, maybe try ripping the flag?
[17:55] <shootdawhoop99> 1 minute
[17:56] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Worth a shot, there has to be something I can do with the flag to stop this.
[17:56] <Jack_Mercer> I try to rip the flag.
[17:56] <shootdawhoop99> You rip the flag in half, and with it a bright white light fills your vision
[17:57] <shootdawhoop99> You feel yourself lifting into the air
[17:57] <shootdawhoop99> When your vision returns, you see outside the window your surroundings have changed
[17:58] <shootdawhoop99> Welcome to the Land of Occupation and Slates
[17:58] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Are you seeing this?
[17:58] <Ikki> SC: I uh.
[17:58] <Ikki> I scroll out to see outside the building.
[17:59] <shootdawhoop99> You see a dark land full of darked stone
[17:59] <Ikki> SC: Uhh.
[17:59] <Ikki> SC: What the fuck?
[17:59] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Great, perfect, wonderful.
[18:00] <Jack_Mercer> I walk outside and look around.
[18:00] <shootdawhoop99> ==END==