YOUR NAME
Tel: YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
Email: FUCKIN EMAIL
Github: JUST PUT SOME STUFF ON GITHUB, LITERALLY TUTORIAL EXAMPLE PROJECTS AND SHIT.

Summary
SAY HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN PROGRAMMING AND THAT YOU WANT TO GET PAID TO DO IT.
SAY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TEACHING YOURSELF WEB DEV OR SOME SHIT FOR A WHILE TRYING TO FILL IN THE GAPS IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE
SAY THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A JUNIOR POSITION WHERE YOU CAN LEARN AND GROW AND GET MENTORED AND SHIT.
SAY WHAT KIND OF SPECIFIC ROLE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

Relevant Work Experience
IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF RELEVANT WORK EXPERIENCE PUT IT HERE, AND MAKE IT SOUND TECHNICAL AND SHIT

SHITTY MINIMUM WAGE JOB - DATES IF YOU WANT, I DIDN'T PUT DATES ON BECAUSE FUCK EM.
I was employed for X years at SHITTY MINIMUM WAGE JOB, which is a SHITTY MINIMUM WAGE-PAYING SHITHOLE LOCATED IN A SHIT TOWN. While I was employed here I redeveloped the business' website using WHATEVER YOU USED. EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID IN A WAY THAT SOUNDS TECHNICAL BUT DON'T MAKE SHIT UP.

Skills - YEAH MOST OF THE RESUME IS A SKILLS SECTION, STUFF YOU CAN DO. IF YOU'VE FUCKED AROUND WITH IT AT HOME THEN YOU SAY 'have experience with X' OR 'some exposure to Y' OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE YOU DO. USE AS MANY BUZZWORDS, FRAMEWORKS AND LIBRARIES AS YOU CAN. RECRUITERS DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JQUERY, JAVASCRIPT AND JAVA, SO THE MORE KEYWORDS YOU HAVE HERE THE BETTER. TRY TO MENTION TEST DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT AND MENTION SOME UNIT-TESTING FRAMEWORKS TOO. BUT DON'T MENTION SOMETHING YOU CAN'T ANSWER SOME KIND OF QUESTION ABOUT, AND DON'T MAKE SHIT UP. IF YOU HAVEN'T DABBLED WITH ANY OF THIS SHIT THEN DO SO.

Front-End Web Development
HTML
LIST A BUNCH OF FUCKIN' HTML TEMPLATING ENGINES LIKE JADE, MUSTACHE AND SHIT

CSS
LIST A BUNCH OF CSS PREPROCESSORS AND FRAMEWORKS LIKE BOOTSTRAP AND SHIT

Javascript
JUST FUCKIN RATTLE OFF EVERY FRAMEWORK AND LIBRARY THAT YOU'VE EVER DABBLED WITH.

Tools
YOU KNOW HOW TO USE GIT RIGHT? IF NOT FUCKING LEARN. ALSO SSH. EVERY SINGLE IDE YOU'VE DABBLED WITH, AND AUTOMATED BUILD TOOLS, TASK RUNNER, PACKAGE MANAGER, MENTION THE TERMINAL AND/OR COMMAND LINE JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU'RE NOT A RETARD.

Graphics
CAN YOU DRAW OR USE PHOTOSHOP? PUT THAT SHIT IN HERE.

Back-end Web Development
HERE YOU LIST ALL THE SERVER-SIDE LANGUAGES AND FRAMEWORKS YOU'VE FUCKED AROUND WITH.

Content Management Systems
FUCKIN' WORDPRESS AND SHIT.

Databases
DATABASES

Servers
MENTION ALL THE /g/-CORE LINUX DISTROS THAT YOU'VE PLAYED WITH.

END
THAT'S LITERALLY IT. DEDICATE MORE SPACE TO SHIT THAT YOU'RE MORE FOCUSED ON.
I GOT A WEB DEV JOB AFTER 5 WEEKS OF JOB HUNTING AND 5 INTERVIEWS, AND THIS WAS ALL THAT MY RESUME HAD ON IT. AND ALL MY GITHUB HAD ON IT WAS A FEW EXAMPLE PROJECTS.