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- >"Anonymous, I'm bored. What should we do about that?"
- >Acteus glances over to you with a dull and uninterested look on his face from his spot on the couch
- "Well, I don't know. Could we build something together, or do something that's "out there?"
- >you both try think of something interesting to do
- >...
- >you've got it!
- "Why don't we be pirates for a day?"
- >"...What the fuck are you on, Anon?" Acteus says looking rather interested in the idea
- "No, seriously! We've got some leftover wood left from your man-cave, right?"
- >"You want to build a pirate ship and sail down the river on it?"
- "Fuck yes!"
- >"Well, sign me up! Pirates for a day!"
- "Pirates for a day!"
- ---
- >you set to work, hauling wood and hammering the buoyant materials together
- >you're working on the mainmast outside, near the river
- >the entire ship will only be about eight-by-eight feet, more of a raft than anything
- >but whatever, you're running on ~Imagination!~ power now
- >Acteus is working on the "main body," which will consist of a couple boards put together and some sealant to make it watertight
- >"OOooW! Fhcknsht..." Acteus's words are muffled through his hoof he's holding to his mouth, trying to relieve the pain
- >he's also trying to hammer in the nails with his bare hoof
- >clearly, it's not going well, so you give him a tip
- "Use the hammer to hammer in the nails, Acteus. That's what it's for."
- >"No, I've got this." he says as he raises his hoof to bash in more nails
- >as you turn to keep sanding the mast, you hear more muffled curses
- >Acteus sheepishly walks over to your work area to pick up the hammer, and returns to driving nails
- >you stifle a chuckle, and get back to work sanding the mast
- >A Few Hours later, you and Acteus are finished
- >the two of you stand back to admire your handiwork
- >it's a basic raft with short walls on each side, a large mast in the middle, and a giant white cotton blanket for the sail
- >you've also got a makeshift rudder on th back to help steer
- >"Fuck, yeah."
- "Fuck, yeah!"
- >you give Acteus a hand-to-hoofbump, and push the ship into the water, quickly jumping inside
- >Acteus gives a mighty flap of his wings and leaps into the sizable vessel, splashing some water up in the process
- >"Captain Acteus, reporting for duty!"
- "First-mate Anonymous, also doing that!"
- >"Haha, oh this will be great fun..."
- >you gently float downriver in your little ship, with you steering to keep clear of rocks
- >speaking of rocks
- "Damn, we forgot to add cannons!"
- >"Yeah, we -do- need those, don't we?... Why don't we just hurl some rocks instead?"
- "Exactly what I thought."
- >you maneuver the craft over to the shore and allow Acteus to fly off to gather ammunition in his ruck-sack
- >you keep the vessel as close to the shoreline as possible, and soon enough Acteus comes fluttering back, small rocks filling the bag
- >he lands inside the raft, dumping his stock in a pile in the center
- >"Ammunition acquired!"
- "Now we just need a target..."
- >down the stream a bit, you see a large amount of yellow that seems to be congealed into one mass
- >Hexferry
- "Heave, ho! Tsun-Tsun off the port bow!"
- >"Readying weapons!"
- >Acteus grabs a hoof-full of pebbles
- >Hexferry notices you in your little raft and scowls a bit, displeased at your "childish behavior," as she'd call it
- >she doesn't notice, however, the harmless (yet irritating) pebbles within your grasp
- "Ready..."
- >Acteus changes positions a bit to get a better shot
- "Aim..."
- >Hexferry calls out to you
- >"And just what do you think YOU'RE doing?"
- "FIRE!"
- >Acteus is just a goddamn pebble minigun, throwing volley after volley of the things
- >"OW, FuCK, AHK, ooh-" is all she can say in return, trying to scurry out of the way
- >as you leave range of Hexferry, she calls out again in a skyward scream:
- >"ANONYMOUS! ACTEUS!," her voice filled with rage
- >you sit down besides Acteus, snickering with him
- "Ah, that was hilarious! Ol' Sexferry's not gonna be happy with us when we get back!"
- >"Oh man, did you see her face, though? Priceless!"
- >and you continue to meander down the river as you have a laugh at poor Hexferry's expense
- >"...Don't pirates plunder things?"
- "Yeah, they do. But that's illegal."
- >"What about those balloons there?" Acteus points over to a balloon stand lying unattended
- "Fuck, yeah, balloons! Get that shit in here!"
- >Acteus leaps onto the shore with aid from his wings, grabs a balloon, and jumps back in
- >"The raid was successful, First Mate!"
- "Hooray!"
- >you celebrate your theft of a free balloon with another fist-to-hoofbump
- >and you lie down on the floor of the wooden vessel, gazing up at the clear blue sky
- >Suddenly, Acteus jumps up
- >"First mate! We've got a hostile approaching rapidly off the stern!"
- >you glance back your flying assaulter
- >it's Hexferry!
- >and she's got jars of some yellow stuff, most likely honey
- "She's gonna throw honey at us!"
- >"Shit, I just showered this morning!"
- "So did I!"
- >thinking fast, you maneuver the ship in an effort to escape the horrible fate behind you
- >Acteus picks up some leftover rocks and throws them at Hexferry, missing most shots
- "Oh shit!"
- >the river gets more turbulent, and more rocks start cropping up in the river
- >the universe just seems to dislike you right now
- >"First Mate, keep her on course!"
- "I'm givin' her all she's got, Cap'n!"
- >Hexferry calls out to both of you
- >"You faggots, get back here and take your punishment like men!"
- >the words take your focus from you, and the ship veers off course toward the bank
- >well, gg guys
- "SHIIIIIII-"
- >"OH FUUUUU-"
- >the raft hits the shore with such force, it hurls the both of you out of the vessel onto solid ground
- >you recover quickly, helping Acteus to his hooves
- "Get up Captain, we've gotta haul ass NOW!"
- >"Agreed!"
- >you and Acteus break into a sprint, running from the imminent honey bombardment
- >you're halfway to the Acteus's house, but honey starts splattering the ground around you
- "She's firing at us, Captain!"
- >"I know, just keep running!"
- >dodging globs of sticky honey for a good quarter-mile, you finally manage to reach the door to the house
- >Acteus bangs open the door, you following right behind him
- >hastily, he slams the door behind you and locks it, narrowly dodging one final glob of honey that lands on the carpet
- >naturally, you're all out of breath
- >"You'll get yours, you jerks!" you hear muffled through the door
- >Hexferry lets out an exasperated sigh, and you hear her trot off
- "I can't believe...That we didn't get hit..."
- >your words come slowly as you try to catch your breath
- >finally, after what seems to be ages, the two of you can breathe again
- >"...That was really fun, actually." Acteus laughs a bit
- "Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty good fun, wasn't it?"
- >"...Oh, no!"
- "What?"
- >"I didn't grab our loot from the wreckage!"
- "Aww..."
- >...
- >"Oh, well..." Acteus looks somewhat crestfallen
- "At least we had fun doing it, though!"
- >he perks up at the sentiment
- >"Yeah, it was great! Thanks for suggesting that, Anon."
- "Heh, no problem."
- >Acteus yawns
- >"I'm a bit tired from our little excursion, "First Mate.""
- "As am I, 'Captain.'"
- >you and Acteus walk down the stairs to the bedroom
- >the two of you, exhausted, flop onto the bed
- >"Haha, ah..."
- "Thanks for joining me, Acteus. It wouldn't have been the same without you."
- >"It was nothing. Now go to sleep~" he nods off, letting his consciousness drift away
- >and you do the same, memories of soft flowing rivers and angry honey-throwing Moths filling your dreams
- >but as your own consciousness slips, you're just able to discern Acteus hugging you in his sleep
- >...
- >Goodnight, Acteus~
- [END]
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