Anon - "Where'n the seven seas am I?"

>The turbulent ocean waves show no signs of mercy in the face of the front of your heavily swaying ship.
>Remaining on your feet is proving to be nothing short of a challenging task, especially with the water washing across the wooden deck.
>But through the thick rain, you spot what appears to be a cluster of large rocks jutting out of the rough waters.
>On one of the rocks, there seem to be three glowing red lights, the source of which is unclear.
>"Captain!" Your skipper reports to you. "We've got company!"
>However, you know that you and your crew are in more trouble than you first realized when the chilling sounds of hypnotic voices cut through the stormy air and into your ears. The entire crew freezes in shock upon hearing this.
"We must change course immediately!" You order. "Man the sails and cover your ears!"
>But everyone is already standing as still as they can.
>They have already fallen victim to the spell.
>Lightning flashes overhead as you try to come up with a plan.

Neigh-hay, my dick rises! Early in the morning!
[YouTube] OST Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag - Drunken Sailor [Sea Shanty]

"D-Drunken shailor Anon, rep-reporting fer dooty *hic* cap'in!"
>"I'm not your captain."
"W-Waaaaitaminute, y-you're *hic* not- not my keppin..."
>"That's what I just said, numbskull."
"Oh. Shooo... rye- right, sht-shtill in the tavern... Ayyyy, an-another beer for me, would'ja, bar-wensh?"
>Slap
"Oww. Wush- wush was that fer?"
>"I am not a bar wench."
"...Lady o' the *hic* eve'nin?"
>SLAP
"Owww..."
>"Ugh, of all the sailors in the sea, why did I have to get stuck with the one idiot who isn't affected by my singing?!"
"Ish called Hennessy, lass."
>Slap
"OW, motherfu-"
>"W-What language to use in front of a lady!"
>Startled, you slip on the rocky surface and hit your ass and head on the ledge
>Bloody hell, if this is her way of sobering you up she's sure as shit doing a fine damn job of it
>True to your occupation, the pain has you swearing like a sailor
>And the alcohol makes you rather creative in regards
>Uh, huh, she sure looks cute with her face blushing red as tomato like that
>"D-D-Dirty human- DOG!"
>With another slap, you find yourself face down in the salty, cold seawater
>Welp, now you're awake
>Spluttering, you cough up the offending blue and get to your knees just in time to see her walking indignantly away
>You suppose its time to knock the crap and get your bearings to take stock of where you are
>Wasting no time, you stumble after her over the dune lest you lose yourself to uncharted territory

"O-Oy, miss, wait!"
>Last you remembered, you were in the brig for calling the captain's waifu a shit
>Then a tidal wave hit, the boat tipped like one of your mates after one too many ales, and then...
>Everything's fuzzy after that
>'Cept waking up to an angry girl dressed like one of them belly dancers
>What was it, Spain? You're never too sober to remember where you've been
>You like it better that way
>"Don't follow me!"
>You can't accept those orders
>After all, she said it herself
>She is in fact, not your captain
>A large cave looms overhead as you hop and trip from patch of sand to puddle, your feet still shaky from being on land after so long
>Staring up at the rocky stalagmites, you let out a low whistle at just how deep and far this hole in the earth goes
"Where'n the seven seas am I?"