Flash vs Evans: Round Two; Silencer Edition

[Local] Flashbulb:  Sup Warp. Nice butt.
[Local] Sunspring:  Fuck yeah.
[Local] Lioness Nurse:  Um...how 'bout we just don't metaphorically go at each other's throats?
[Local] Warpcore:  That's awkward, Flash.
[Local] Lioness Nurse:  Can't we just, I dunno, get along?
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  Make jerky out of thin kids. I suppose.
Pseudogeek grins and offers the woman a dap. "Bump it in."
[Local] Flashbulb:  What's awkward is you're hanging out with that cumstain. {Gestures at Sam Evans}
Sunspring reaches over and daps.  "Givin' it a little tappy."
Hydraulic Hannah looks over at Flash, says nothing, and looks ahead again.
Pseudogeek laughs.
[Local] Sunspring:  This is like a social experiment at its best.
Shamirishi Titan just takes a moment with a long sip, awkwardly, trying to find a way to break the percieved hostility.*
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "I fucked it up.  I'm sorry.  I do that."
[Local] Sunspring:  Nah, you're cool.
Samuel Evans rolls his eyes, "Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Does it take the willingness of all parties in conflict to have a mutual peace? Or do I need to be made privy to some super secret voodoo to make everyone hold hands and unwillingly sing kumbaya?"
Hydraulic Hannah offers the large wolf a sympathetic glance.
[Local] Warpcore:  Let's.. go with the fact that we weren't even talking about that any more?
[Local] Flashbulb:  Holy fuck, shut the hell up Sam.
 [Local] Warpcore:  You literally only brought it up to divert attention from the fact that you were being called out for being a jerkward.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Sooo before we go /back/ to fighting, who is everyone?"
[Local] Flashbulb:  He is a jerkwad. He goes after widows and convinces them to hop on his dick 'cause he'll save them.
[Local] Warpcore:  Warpcore.
Hydraulic Hannah raises a hand. "Hannah."
[Local] Lioness Nurse:  Lio.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Hi!"
[Local] Sunspring:  Sunny.  For my sunny disposition and all that bull.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Hello!"
[Local] Flashbulb:  Sup I'm not important.
Shamirishi Titan nods, putting his free hand to his chest with a low thump.* "Hansen."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "That is a damn mouthful.  I shall call you Bob."
Hydraulic Hannah turns towards Tarasova, watches her for a long moment, and then nods in agreement.
Pseudogeek looks at Flash as she says this.
Flashbulb looks at Pseudogeek, "I can be your Bob."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Dude.  You are officially awesome."
[Local] Warpcore:  Also, you said "unfortunately for you, I went to college." Yeah? So did I. That was a meaningless statement.
[Local] Sunspring:  Just remember.  Fat kids.  They're all taken.
Samuel Evans growls, "Flash, that didn't go anywhere. I didn't pursue it. And it was not that simple."
 Local] Pseudogeek:  "Yeah, sorry.  I'm already sharing them with Sunny."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "I'm Kyle.  Who's the cranky guy next to me?"
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  I don't want any.
[Local] Shamirishi Titan:  "I've a rank and title, but I'd rather keep things simple for now."
[Local] Flashbulb:  Uhh, you pursued it when you were sittin' there trying for it with a big list of shitty pickup lines.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Just 'cause you failed like a limp-dick little shrimp doesn't mean it don't count.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Do not be angry.  You look fierce."
[Local] Sunspring:  ...
[Local] Flashbulb:  Which one.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "/All of you/."
Sunspring holds up her phone.  Is she, recording this?
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "There."
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  ... Thank you.
[Local] Flashbulb:  I can't help it, ahaha. I hate this scumbag so much. You don't even know.
Hydraulic Hannah looks a bit uncertain, but accepts the compliment.
[Local] Samuel Evans:  "While we're having a smear campaign, let's just bring up how you sent someone to beat me up over a verbal argument."
Pseudogeek nods her head to Hannah.  "Actually, without people like you, I wouldn't exist. So...much respect."
[Local] Flashbulb:  I didn't do shit. I used your name as an insult towards his girlfriend and he found the source and kicked it's ass.
[Local] Sunspring:  Can I get internet famous if I put this up on Youtube?
[Local] Flashbulb:  Just 'cause he got a mind of his own don't make me responsible.
Hydraulic Hannah takes a step back. "Don't. Do not put me on youtube."
[Local] Sunspring:  S'not directed at you, don't worry.
Flashbulb flexes a little for Sunny.
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  Yes, but I don't want to be in the shot.
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  Hansen, let's switch spots.
[Local] Sunspring:  Give me a hip thrust, and I'll put it on Pornhub under 'burn ward orgy.'
[Local] Shamirishi Titan:  "Is there no way for you to settle this in an arena and get it over with? A soldier comes to a bar to relax and eye the females."
[Local] Flashbulb:  -Well-.
[Local] Shamirishi Titan:  "Yes, we can swap."
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  Appreciated.
Samuel Evans looks to Warpcore, "Tell me, are you a Democrat? You stink of Liberal. How about we give up our guns while we're at it?"
[Local] Flashbulb:  Ahahahaha.
[Local] Warpcore:  Oh my god.
[Local] Flashbulb:  I lied.
[Local] Warpcore:  You think that liberals and democrats are trying to take your guns.
[Local] Flashbulb:  I love Sam Evans.
[Local] Flashbulb:  He's my shining light of knowledge.
[Local] Flashbulb:  He knows all, and he'll challenge you at math if you try to argue with him.
[Local] Flashbulb:  SAM SAY SOMETHING SMART!
[Local] Flashbulb:  GO SAM GO!
Warpcore pulls his phone back out when it starts to vibrate. He opens a file, which is apparently the Jaws theme.
[Local] Flashbulb:  I guess Sam used up all his knowledge.
Samuel Evans looks to Hannah, "So, I must've made a wrong turn on my way to the D. I ended up an an interdimensional daycare."
[Local] Sunspring:  Your mommy musta dropped you off, hun.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Yeah you were looking for children to insult. 'cause all you do is stand at the bar and talk shit about everyone lower than you.
[Local] Sunspring:  Sorry, not contributing anymore.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Which is everyone.
Gamecrash hums the jaws theme as she walks up and then ...stops by Warp.
[Local] Flashbulb:  What's wrong, Sam? Can't think of an argument against me? No Math? Gotta use everyone else?
[Local] Flashbulb:  Did you forget all your insults?
 Local] Flashbulb:  I hear you got a memory problem.
Samuel Evans looks to Flashbulb, "This argument started because I asserted an opinion, and the human blur decided to take it personally."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Does this happen often?"
[Local] Warpcore:  First off, the current president repealed more gun restrictions than Bush did during his entire eight years in office. Just sayin'.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Nah this started 'cause you're a shitty little neckbeard.
[Local] Gamecrash:  Oy, Krakken on a cracker.
[Local] Flashbulb:  You knew what you were tryin' to do, and you got it.
Warpcore reaches over and pokes Geecee.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Now it's haunting you and you can't take it.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Holy shit you all are driving me to drink and I'm not even capable of drinking."
[Local] Flashbulb:  Sucks when your actions have consequences, huh?
[Local] Lioness Nurse:  Yeeeaahh, I'm gonna just...go somewhere else.
[Local] Sunspring:  Don't even know.  What should I lable this under?  Burn Ward Orgy, or Twisty Panty, Meat Toboggan?
[Local] Flashbulb:  Prolly for the best.
Sunspring seems to be asking this to Kyle.
[Local] Flashbulb:  I'm not planning on stopping.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Burn Ward Orgy."
Hydraulic Hannah blinks, coming back out of her thoughts. "I don't know if it's common. Hope not."
[Local] Lioness Nurse:  Mm.
[Local] Sunspring:  Awesome.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "I know, right?"
[Local] Flashbulb:  It only is when I'm around and so is he.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Any other time?
[Local] Flashbulb:  You're faaaaantastic.
Shamirishi Titan looks over to the three on his right.* "Am I wrong or am I just too alien to get it?"
[Local] Sunspring:  Nah, this is a dick waving battle now.
[Local] Flashbulb:  And apparently mine's fucking huge.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "It is a waving penis o'rama."
[Local] Warpcore:  Also, I took it personally when you decided to infer that I was naive for thinking that there's a better way to do things than killing people.
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  They're right, unfortunately.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "I'm not even sure what there is to be right or wrong about."
Samuel Evans looks to Warpcore, "Have you studied the philosophy of warfare? No? Do you understand what war entails? Do you understand the consequences of failure? Do you understand what's necessary to win?"
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "This dude's armor is kind of pimp, though.  There should be less anger."
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  You. About the dick-waving.
[Local] Sunspring:  Do you understand how magnets work?
Gamecrash does not poke him. She just kind of looks at him for a moment, then sloooowly reaches her finger over to him and holds it shy of touching him.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Holy crap, more wisdom from Sam Evans coming.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "DON'T YOU QUESTION ME ABOUT MAGNETS.  THEY CONFOUND ME, SUNNY.  THEY CONFOUND ME."
Warpcore is distracted by the not-touching.
[Local] Sunspring:  OH MY GOD.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "That's it. Deal's off.  No fat kids for you."
Warpcore spasms and flails around.
[Local] Flashbulb:  HOYLSHI-.
[Local] Sunspring:  ...but moooom.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Warp, man.
[Local] Warpcore:  Sorry, sorry.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Nah you're cool, just.
[Local] Warpcore:  Also, did you just Tom Cruise at me, Sam?
[Local] Flashbulb:  Man.
[Local] Samuel Evans:  "Oh, no? You haven't studied warfare? So you don't know what you're talking about. Judging the theory of war having never studied it is like trying to perform brain surgery with a Medical Doctorate out of a cereal box."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Nope.  I am going to have to turn this conversation RIGHT the fuck around."
Gamecrash smiles at Warp. "Hi."
Sunspring puffs her lip out.  "...but...but..."
[Local] Flashbulb:  Sam. Like, realtalk.
Warpcore smiles over at Geecee, and then peers over at Sam. "It's absolutely nothing like that."
[Local] Flashbulb:  Where are you in this conversation.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Are you actually talking about things or are you just going on.
[Local] Warpcore:  That analogy doesn't work at all.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "....dammit.  Fine.  I hate pouters.  I'm so weak against them."
[Local] Hydraulic Hannah:  ...
[Local] Sunspring:  Bwehehehe.
[Local] Flashbulb:  'cause if you're actually talking about things, I'll back off and let you work your magic.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "So mean."
[Local] Sunspring:  Gotta love my charms.
[Local] Flashbulb:  You're the king.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Hmph I say!"
Gamecrash follows Warp's gaze to Sam for a moment. She blinks. "Oh.. he's still talking."
[Local] Warpcore:  I'm honestly pretty bored with the whole thing.
Gamecrash looks from Warp to Flash, then down to herself. "... I feel out of place."
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Well...I mean...it'd probably get better if everyone found a happy medium."
[Local] Sunspring:  Ohmmmm.
Warpcore turns toward Geecee. "Hey, you."
[Local] Flashbulb:  ....
[Local] Sunspring:  Oh hey wait, I know.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Whatcha mean?
[Local] Gamecrash:  Hi!
[Local] Gamecrash:  ... I'm not wearing spffy tights.
[Local] Shamirishi Titan:  "Hmm?"
Sunspring presses a button on her phone.  The sound of a wet fart comes from it.
Pseudogeek snerks.
[Local] Gamecrash:  I -don't- wear tights.
[Local] Warpcore:  Oh. Well.. I like your outfit.
Flashbulb also snerks.
[Local] Pseudogeek:  "Dude you're twelve."
[Local] Samuel Evans:  "Look, Warp. No offense. But you don't tell a welder, or a carpenter what their job entails, but you'll stand there and tell me to my face that what I know is invalid. I know what I'm talking about, you're an ignorant slob. If you'll excuse me."
Sunspring looks up for a second.  "...oh, no happy medium."
[Local] Flashbulb:  Ahaha there he goes.
[Local] Warpcore:  Lata'.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Off on his big exit.
[Local] Flashbulb:  Where he thinks he's cool.
[Local] Flashbulb:  YOU'RE THE KING, SAM.
[Local] Gamecrash:  You're a jerkfacewith a mouth bigger than his as--
[Local] Flashbulb:  KEEP THAT WISDOM COMING.
[Local] Flashbulb:  TRY MATH NEXT TIME.

... Later on in the conversation, Shamirishi was asking Flash about why that couldn't just be solved in the arena. She went on to explain that beating stupid doesn't fix stupid. And then we got the last bit of wisdom that Sam had to offer before he logged off after awkwardly standing alone in the corner for 20 minutes.

Samuel Evans thinks it's funny that ignorant minds think he's stupid.