Humanesque (1?)

>be anon
>come home from a terrible day at work/uni/school.
>sit down at your desk to start your computer and have a good wank to the porn of your preference.
>suddenly, you see movement in the corner of your room- something was just scuttling under the drawer.
"Fuck, just what I need. Mice."
>you look under the drawer.
>what the hell.
>tiny humanized Celestia and Luna, They look like they have been through a lot, their beautiful royal dresses as well as their stockings, even their flowing multicolored hair is stained and dusty, staring back at you, worried yet defiant.
>Celestia speaks first: "Sir, we require your assistance. My sister and I were sent here by a botched spell of my student a few days ago, can you help us?"
>they're around the size of... let's say, dominoes
>a trail of two pairs of little wet footprints lead from a small scorch mark on the carpet- revealing the wooden floor underneath, much to your chagrin- to the space under which what you believe are probably two sleep-withdrawal-induced hallucinations are standing and staring at you.
>you lift an arm.
>they both flinch.
>you shakily uncurl your forefinger and lean in to test Luna's existence.
>carefully.
>if they're hallucinations, they're the kind you would rather keep around than frighten off.
>boop.
>that's definitely solid.
>Luna stumbles backwards, but quickly regains balance, and rubs her nose.
"Oh... shit..."
>"No! No, it's just mud, sir," Luna says, strangely unoffended by the uncalled-for physical contact.
>"Could you answer my question, sir?"
>you stop kneeling, because your knees are getting tired
>you close the drawers
>you look down again
"I'm sorry, this isn't a normal occurrence for me. I'm just a little confused-"
>"I understand!" Celestia shouts up to you. "Standing on two legs alone is a difficult stance to remember!"
"Okay, good!" you clap your hands together nervously, startling the sisters again. "Ah, that yelling could make you a little hoarse, couldn't it? I'll have to move you so we can talk without either of us straining anything- is that okay?"
>Celesta glances to her sister, who gives a dismissive nod.
>you cup your hands and place them on the ground
>the two sisters enter the makeshift transport in a way not unlike with an elevator, apparently without their wings as well as their equine forms.
>they each sit down carefully, feeling like slender mice in your hands.
>you lift your hands
>Luna appears to reach for a handhold for stability as you walk to your desk.
>she finds it.
>the force feels no greater than that of a pair of tweezers.
>still shaking, you put your hands down on your desk, awkwardly in between a computer keyboard and an electronic mouse.
>you unfold your hands, and the two sisters casually dismount, Celestia onto the desk, Luna onto the keyboard.
>now your hands are dirty.
>as is your desk.
>and your keyboard, too. No matter.
"I can't," you say plainly.
>"...what?" Celestia replies.
"I can't help you," you clarify. "We have no magic here, plain and simple. I would love to, believe me, but I have no way to take you home. I'm sorry."
>"...Oh, that?" Luna giggled. "We don't need help with that, stranger. We need transportation back to the portal."
"Portal?" your eyes light up, thrilled by the prospect of a way to Equestria.
>"Gateway," Celestia replies, glaring at her sister. "We're calling it a gateway."
"Where is the portway?" you ask, trying to satisfy both terminologies.
>Hesitantly, Celestia points out your window, and Luna points at your bed.
>perhaps it was just their little minds that were scrambled.
>"Err," Luna muttered, "We don't know, exactly."
>"We were really more worried about the wheels passing over us at the time," Celestia began. "and the rain, and the puddles, and the wind, and the sewer drains- why do you live near so many sewer drains?"
>you can't help but snicker.
>Celestia crosses her arms and glares at you.
>now you feel like an asshole.
"Sorry."
>the vertically-challenged monarch continues, "It's not far, though! Not far at all, it's probably just a few of your feet away from your..." she looks around at your room, which is in a state of visible dilapidation. "...house, stranger."
"Anonymous," you reply.
>Celestia restates herself. "Anonymous."
>Luna's legs dangle off the edge of your keyboard, still dripping dirt onto the desk.
"Before we go looking around for your port-gate, do you need anything? Like- do you want me to get a water dish for you to wash up in so the mud doesn't stain?"
>"I'm assuming this is going away as soon as we get back to Canterlot, but we should try our best to keep from displacing anything that might have a chemical reaction." Luna replies. She looks down at the desk. "Oh... sorry, Anonymous."
"It's fine..." you say. You rise from your seat- quickly, and end up banging your kneecap against the desk, knocking Celestia over and throwing Luna off the keyboard. "Shit- sorry, sorry, sorry- I'll just go get the water."
>you acquire a cereal bowl
>fill it with warm water
>nothing interesting there
>you test the warmth of the water with two fingers, and find it to be lukewarm. You dump the water and fill the bowl again, only to find halfway through the filling process that neither of the sisters would be able to reach the lip of the particular bowl you chose. You dump that bowl and put it back into the cupboard
>fuck it, it's just water.
>you pull out a different bowl, one of those flimsy china bowls you loathed as a child and ended up inheriting. They barely even qualify as bowls, really, just mildly sunken plates.
>you fill the bowl with what was close enough to perfectly warm water, and are surprised the piece of porcelain shit doesn't crack under the weight of a few milliliters.
>seriously, fuck this bowl.
>you carry the bowl with the tenderest of hateful care across the kitchen and oh fuck look out!
>the two sisters had popped into existence on your thumbs for whatever reason, causing you to promptly freak out and accidentally smash the bowl into smithereens on the ground.
>okay, not accidentally.
>fucking china, man.
>both sisters were clinging to your thumbs now with an iron grip.
>you raise your thumbs to your eyes.
>"So short-range teleports seem to work fine, how about invisibility?" Luna shouted to her sister.
>"Nothing yet! This doesn't make sense..."
>"Oh dear, we must have startled you," Celestia said, looking at your expression.
>you continue gazing in slack-jawed awe at your thumbs. It didn't sound or feel like anything, they just hopped right onto you like crickets.
>"Well, I suppose we just brought a few things with us," Luna muttered, inching up to the tip of your thumb. "Are you absolutely sure you don't have anything conductive here? Talismans, waste locks, hammerspacious anomalies?"
"Doesn't ring a bell..." you reply. "I'm sorry, could you move somewhere a little less trafficked? I need to sweep up the bowl."
>"Oh, right," Luna looks down at the shards on the floor. "That. Yeah, sorry. Take your time."
>Celestia stands up and trudges onto your right sleeve.
>before Luna starts moving, you move her over to the sleeve with her sister, causing her to make a light surprised squeak, but otherwise inducing no further reaction.
>you pull your sleeve over your wrist so that both sisters are standing on the back of your hand
>you move your wrist back to your shoulder so that the sisters don't need to climb up your sleeve to relocate
>the weight on your shoulder redistributes itself towards the back of your neck.
>you flinch at the feeling of the cold mud, and consider moving the princesses to your shirt pocket, but decide against it.
>you would just have to tread carefully towards the broom closet.
>first step.
>the weight on your neck begins moving to your left shoulder.
>you hesitantly take a second step.
>you feel something hit your shoulder.
>"Oof!" you hear Luna grunt.
"Are you okay?" you ask.
>"All is well! I just tripped is all."
>"Why are you being so hesitant?" Celestia shouts up to your ear. "Have you not broken a dish before until now, Anonymous?"
>Oh, she fucking went there.
>as in, into your ear.
>oh god, why.
>"Ah yes, this will do," you hear Celestia mutter in satisfaction. She calls out to her sister, "it's safe in here!"
>the weight shifts towards your neck.
>"Excellent," Luna replies. She too climbs into your ear canal.
"Whatever works, I suppose," you mutter, shivering. Consent must not hold a lot of weight to them, as royalty. How did they even fit in there?
>you move towards the broom closet, all hearing into your left ear restricted to the tiny sighs and light movements of the royal sisters.
>you reach up to open the door to the aforementioned closet, and take the broom and dust pan off of the floor.
>you sweep the dish into the pan and toss it into the garbage.
>you look down at the water on the floor.
>you can see the most subtle, wavering blur of the reflection of a lonely man.
>you lean towards the puddle to see this man better.
>a face like sickness, and in it, an enormous question mark.
>an enormous question.
>you lean closer to the water.
>you fall over.
"Water's here on the floor if you still want it," you whimper.
>"That'll do, Anonymous," Celestia replies. "As long as it'll get the mud off."
>you hear a confused noise from Luna. "Are you okay, Anonymous?"
"Just taking a nap," you reply. "It's not a hard fall, is it?"
>"Oh, goodness, no," Luna says. You hear a light thump to your left, signalling she has safely left your ear. "Just concerned."
>you hear a second thump. That'll be Celestia.
>a ripple passes through the puddle.
>more ripples pass through, progressively growing smaller until a yellow and blue fleck of matter seem to come into view.
>you sleep now.
--
>you're awake again.
>something is holding your left eye open.
>your vision focuses.
>Celestia is holding your left eye open.
>"Hello-o-o, Anonymous?"
"Hi," you wheeze. "Ready to start searching?"
>"It actually might be raining outside."
"So?"
>"So one of us could catch a cold. I don't think we should go out right now."
>You sit up, taking Celestia up with you.
"Aren't we running out of time or something?"
>"Time?" Celestia asked. "Time for what?"
"Until the... gate... closes."
>"Why would that be a problem? It's a hole, not a cut."
>that makes sense, you suppose.
"So you're just going to crash here until the rain stops?"
>"Indeed. At this size the raindrops are like rocks."
"Jeez... where's Luna?"
>Celestia points to your scalp, and Luna promptly drops in front of your right eye and waves to you.
>"We may be getting a bit too much entertainment out of your world," says Luna.
>you reach up to your eyes and carefully remove both sisters from them. They sit in your palms as they did before, undisturbed.
>you move to the living room and sit on the sofa. In looking at the two sisters, you see they are indeed devoid of mud, and somehow so are your palms.
>the three of you sit still for several minutes, listening to the sound of thunder outside.
>Luna and Celestia occasionally glance at various objects in the room as you retain a nauseatingly soothing zen moment with these two fragile otherworldly beings in your hands.
>Luna slowly drifts off to sleep in your palm, not forgetting to say goodnight as she curls into a semi-fetal position.
>you don't know how long you were asleep before.
>your eyelids remain as wide as they ought to be.
>Celestia yawns shortly after Luna falls asleep.
"Do you still want to go looking around later on or do you think you're about ready to pass out?" you inquire.
>"You don't mind if we stay for a little longer, do you?" she asked. "We just need a little..." she yawned, "...data. Somepony else was supposed to do it, but we're here, we've found a hospitable local, and we'll find the way back home on our own time. I'm sure one of the backup monarchs can take over for the next week or so."
>she yawns again.
"That doesn't sound like a politically viable solution-"
>she rolls onto her side and waves you off. "The sun's just a denser spoon to bend, I'm positive somepony on the committee can figure it out."
>okay, then.
>you'll have to take her word for it.
>just a little data.