Nick and Adam

1 - Nick
The smell of trees hit me and it was like waking up after a deep dream -- suddenly a part of me I had forgotten came forth; all the memories of that old summer in Stowe, of playing around the woods with Rob. I could see me from outside my body -- it had been so long ago that I felt like I was remembering someone else’s memories, a stranger’s memories. I had changed. I hadn’t visited Stowe in almost ten years, but that just meant I could discover everything for the first time again. I had had enough of the city and visiting the aunt was as good an excuse as any to spend a summer away. I had forgotten the town, but I hadn’t forgotten Rob. I was wondering if he’d remember me when my aunt made me come back to reality.
“Honestly, how come you still need to be driven around, Nick?” she laughed, as she drove into the woods that led to her house.
“Uh... well, you know, in the city everything’s close by...” I mumbled, embarrassed, lowering my ears.
“Oh, please, it’s okay. But you better get ready to walk a lot, because I’m not gonna drive you every time you want to visit town.”
“Is is really that far away?” I said.
“You really don’t remember Stowe, eh? I guess you were just a kid last time you visited me.”
“Well, I do remember some things. Auntie, do you, uh... remember Rob? I think that was his name-- an older kid I played with--“
“Sure! The kid from the sanatorium,” she said.
“Huh? Don’t kid around,” I said. “He was some regular kid.”
“Yeah, but his family owned the city’s sanatorium, darling.”
“So I could find him there?” I said, acting nonchalantly. “Just, you know, to catch up and whatever.” The truth is, I was dying to see him. When I was a kid making friends came naturally, but nowadays it was a stressful challenge. Rob was the only young person I knew in town, and he was my best chance at hanging out that summer. I had left the city to snap out of routine -- to see a difference -- and I was decided I wasn’t going to let things be the same way in Stowe.
“I’m pretty sure he’s working in there these days, actually,” said my aunt. “The family business, taking care of sickos. Poor kid.”
It didn’t sound that bad to me. It was kind of noble, looking after people. I had some preconceptions about rural towns -- I pretty much assumed everyone was a little Samaritan. Superman came from Kansas, after all. Having made up my mind, I asked my aunt if she could drop me in town instead of in her house just that once.
It was still early in the morning when she dropped me off and I started sightseeing. I didn’t know the exact route to the sanatorium, but I wanted to take in the sights and smells -- that nostalgic feeling of freedom. The houses were old, built with rocks and wood and low ceilings. I could see the entire sky. As I wagged my tail, it was beautiful enough that I forgot I hadn’t eaten all day, but my stomach reminded me. I searched for a while and entered a pretty little cafe.
It was empty, so I just picked the first table. Suddenly a cat was by my side.
“Can I take your order?” he said, politely.
“Uh, yeah. I mean...” I was distracted eyeing him up, looking at his fur and how he seemed a little bit younger than me, less tarnished than me.
“Yes?”
“Well, can I have a sandwich?”
“Sure thing,” he said with a smile. I struggled with it, but looked into his eyes and didn’t look away.
“A-And by the way, do you know how to reach the sanatorium?” I said.
“Sure.” He pointed at the window. “If you walk a couple of blocks in that direction you should see it at the distance... it’s the tallest building.”
“I see... you’re a local, right?” I asked, and felt dumb for doing it immediately afterwards.
“I live outside of town, but I know the place. You aren’t from here?”
“No, I just arrived. I’m staying out of town too, actually... and I just realized I’ll have to walk the whole way home, haha.” I said, feeling stupid.
The cat flicked his whiskers. “I see.” With that, he walked away. I looked at him go nervously. This was like a trial run, an attempt at making conversation before meeting Rob... Everything in my body shouted at me to stay silent, but I had to try. I opened my mouth.
“Wait!”
The cat turned around.
“You aren’t busy, are you?” I asked. He looked around.
“Place’s pretty empty.”
“I mean... in general. Do you think you could give me, maybe, a tour of the town...?” I said, staring at the floor. There was some silence, and when I looked up he was smiling.
“You just want someone with a car to give you a ride home, don’t you?”
“N-No!” I barked.
“I’m kidding. Sure, I can show you around. And take you home, too. The roads are long. My shift ends in four hours.”
“Awesome,” I said, dumbfounded. It wasn’t so much that I was surprised by his response than by the fact that I had asked at all. Maybe in that town I could be my past self again.
Soon enough he brought me my sandwich and I ate it voraciously. I was hoping we could chat some more, but he went into the kitchen and disappeared the whole time. When I was ready to go, after having left money on the table I struggled a bit and finally dared to shout for him. He showed up immediately, like when I had first entered.
“What’s up?”
“Um... Could I have your number?” I said.
“Sure,” he said. He took a piece of paper and a pen from his shirt -- to write orders, presumably -- and jotted down something. When he handed it to me there was a number plus “Adam.”
“The food was delicious, Adam,” I said, and quickly left before I couldn’t take the pressure anymore.
It was only when I was a block away that I realized I hadn’t told him my name. Still, I booked his number on my phone.
---
The sanatorium was easy to find, like Adam had said. The main gates were open, and I walked past a garden with a girl on a blue robe sitting on the grass. I reached the building and knocked on the door. A stern looking bear welcomed me.
“Are you a visitor?” he said.
“No, yes, I... I’m looking for Rob,” I said. He looked concerned.
“What is this about? Is there a problem?” he said.
“What? No! No, I’m just an old... I’m just a friend.”
He growled. “Hm. He’s in the backyard. Just circle the building.”
“Thanks,” I said, and hurried to leave that man.
In the backyard there were plenty of more patients, all in blue robes; all of them seemed quiet and kind of lost. I headed towards the only one in regular clothes, a wolf -- and by his broad back I could tell it was Rob. He was looking after a patient in a wheelchair.
“Hey!” I greeted him. He turned around and his expression changed immediately.
“Nick?” he exclaimed. He came to me and patted my shoulder roughly. “Wow!” His breath smelled of beer.
“Ha ha, I can’t believe you recognise me,” I said. I wanted to feel awkward, but his cocky expression seemed to assure me everything was all right.
“Why wouldn’t I? You haven’t changed a bit!” he said. He had. He was taller and stouter -- he seemed well. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I just thought it was due time to visit again. This place is better than I remembered -- living here everyday must be great”
“Eh, it gets old. We should definitely catch up, though. Want to visit my place? I was about to leave anyway.” He had turned to the female in the wheelchair, adjusting a newspaper she was reading.
“T-That sounds great,” I said, a bit confused by the patients. “Hey, Rob? I thought this building was, like, a relaxation spot for rich people... Isn’t that what secluded towns are known for?”
“I guess...” he said, sighing. “But there aren’t many facilities around here so we get all sorts thrown in here. Like, nutsos who hurt themselves... And we have to take care of them while they’re so doped in pills they can’t tell the time of the day.”
“Uh... okay...”
Suddenly, a man beside me fell to the ground. I rushed to him and helped him stand up while I heard Rob keep speaking.
“It fucking sucks having to look after all these weirdos... My parents put me to it. At least it pays for my own place...”
I quickly glanced at Rob and then back to the man I was helping. Then I paused. Had I seen that correctly? It had almost seemed like Rob was... grabbing the woman’s breast. Squeezing it. When I turned to him he was looking at me with a cocky smile.
“At least they appreciate me,” he said.
“Uh, what do you mean?”
“Ah, nothing. C’mon, let’s go.” He turned to the woman in the wheelchair one last time and stroked her cheek, almost caressing it. I was confused. I had to have imagined that. I followed Rob into the building as he walked irregularly. I wondered how much he had drank that early in the morning. He grabbed his things and we headed to his place.
When we entered Rob went to the bathroom and I had time to think. I thought of the cat from the cafe -- he would think I’d be in the sanatorium, so I quickly texted him Rob’s address so he’d pick me up there. Then I thought about Rob. That was a nice, old fashioned town. It didn’t grow the kind of bastards that took advantage of sick people. Rob wasn’t like that. I had only caught that sight for a second, but I couldn’t get it off my mind. I felt uncomfortable being in his place, alone with him... trapped with him.
When he came back to the kitchen he already had a beer in hand. He was grinning widely, ready to shoot the shit, and I realised I had to snap out of it. It would be better if I cleared the air and got it out of the way.
“Hey, Rob... This is going to sound weird, but... Those patients are pretty useless, yeah?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, bro, pretty much. They’re really out of it.”
“They don’t even realise what you do to them, right?” I mumbled.
“Hey, what’s this about, man?” he said, suddenly. “What’s your problem?”
“N-Nothing.” I had to change the course quickly. “I just mean, that girl looked pretty fine... I wouldn’t blame you if you took a peek if she can’t tell.” Rob got his smile back.
“Oh, yeah. Those idiots can’t remember anything. They fucked themselves up so much that they need four different pills a day and I’m the one who has to take care of it, you know? Don’t I get anything?”
“Yeah... yeah,” I whispered. I was feeling sick.
“This town is practically empty... There’s never any hot women at the bars. If I want to score I have to get what I can get, right?”
“You mean... you don’t just take a peek?”
“Well, they don’t realise it’s happening, right? It’s okay.” He chugged down his beer.
I felt dizzy. This wasn’t the Rob I remembered. Or maybe it was -- always cocky, ready to take what he wanted, to skip curfew, to convince me to go into the woods at night for adventures. To make fires just to play with the fire. I started considering maybe I was horribly wrong about small towns. Maybe they bred the same kind of bastard as anywhere -- the kind that abused the helpless if he could get away with it. I wondered for how long it had gone on, and if it would go on long after the summer ended and I left the place. I realized I couldn’t hang out with Rob -- but I couldn’t leave then. I was stuck with him for the day. We sat down and he started rambling about his life; I could barely understand. I accepted a beer gladly, emptying it to clear my head and free my tongue so that I could start rambling too.
Hours passed and he seemed to grow more comfortable with me. There was a quiet moment and then he leaned closer and lowered his voice. “You know that bunny from the sanatorium? Sometimes I take her to her room and then lock the door...”
He proceeded to describe the way he had undressed her and the way her breasts looked. Then he started to talk about how he’d fucked her, and I had enough. I excused myself to the bathroom. I opened the toilet and kneeled in front of it, ready to throw up. It didn’t come out, though. I hadn’t drunk enough. I looked at myself in the mirror and washed my face. Then I noticed some metal scissors. I grabbed them, not knowing very well why.
I quietly opened the door and went back to the kitchen, where I could see Rob’s back. He was drinking away, without a worry in the world. I felt like I had a heavy weight on my back, like I had been betrayed -- not by him, but by Stowe. By my memories. By my past self. I walked up to Rob, and my vision darkened. I seemed to fall. There was a scream and my body started to tremble.
When I opened my eyes Rob was laying on the floor. The scissors were sticking out of his neck, and the floor was red. I immediately thought I had killed him, but that would have been too simple. He wasn’t still; he was twitching, convulsing as his neck produced blood. I slipped and fell forward, covering my hands and clothes in red.
It took me a long time to get up, as I struggled against my shaking. The reality of the situation failed to dawn on me. It just couldn’t be. When I finally got up, I sat on a chair and looked into a wall. I looked and tried to forget about everything. But something brought me back to reality: the doorbell. Not thinking at all, like a machine, I opened the door to see a cat. Adam had come to take me to my tour.