Drunken Hearted Pt. 14: Trampoline Girl

>As you sip your coffee, you try your hardest to forget what Minuette just said to you.
>”Anon? Did you hear me?”
>This coffee is too hot to sip in your normal fashion, but you want to maintain the illusion that you’re okay.
>With a burnt tongue, you nod at the unicorn sitting across from you.
>”Great! Well, I’m going to go get a muffin. Want anything?”
>You crack a half smile and shake your head at her.
>Still a little unsure, Minuette walks to the counter anyways to nurse her hangover.
>You’re getting used to the chattering Ponyville voices again; you never cared for the Manehattanites.
>It was only a matter of time before she would have to return back to her home in Los Pegasus; with her fiancé, big house, and pets.
>Well, she seems like the one to have a small pet of some sort that she halfway cares for.
>You should be a little happy for her for her returning to her real life. Then again, she doesn’t seem to care about her real life all that much. You really don’t know how to feel about this.
>There’s a strange swirling feeling inside of your stomach now. It’s ignorant to think, but you want her to return to the table at the café and tell you that she’s going to stay here in Ponyville with you forever.
>It’s hard to admit…but you really love her. After all this time of delaying the truth, you find yourself loving someone who can’t love you back and be with you.
>You release a hard sigh. For some reason it’s hard to accept the fact that you’ve developed these feelings for a stranger in such a short amount of time.
>She’s returning to you, skipping slowly back to the table; skipping like a snowflake falling over Equestrian winter. Some pony’s stare, but she doesn’t pay it any mind.
>As carefree as she is wise and devastating.
>”Hey! Want a bite?”
>Minuette presents a half-eaten muffin stump to you.
>You just turn up your nose and shake your head.
>Minuette shrugs off your action and quickly eats the rest of the muffin.
>She’s so cavalier about the whole situation. It makes you question whether or not you even mean something to her at all.
>It turns you on your head, and in a way, angers you that she’s not more upfront with how she feels about you.
>You’re tired of playing guessing games; no more.
>Minuette brushes her mouth and place at the small table free of crumbs and looks at you.
>It’s time to break down this wall 100%.
Minuette, can I talk to you?
>Your voice is a little deflated and sad; your feelings seem to have seeped through.
>Her face turns a little concerned as she leans in towards you. She must have picked up on it.
>”What is it, Anon?”
>You run your fingers through your hair, fighting the urge to beg.
How do you…
>How to word this?
>…
>There’s some silence as you wordlessly search inside for something to say.
>Minuette sits there intently.
I don’t know.
>Minuette rubs her eyes.
>”I know you don’t know. What’s it about?”
>She turns your small talk tactics against you. For whatever reason, you’re afraid to tell her.
Just...us.
>Minuette’s eyes seem to lift a little.
>”Us?”
>You press your lips together and slowly nod at her. She says “us” in a way that tells you she knows exactly what you mean.
>You want to know if she feels the same way about you.
>”I didn’t…think we were an “us” yet.
>You down the rest of your coffee in the commotion.
Well I…guess we…could be.
>She blinks at your words.
>A small panic arises inside of you.
>But there’s nothing else said. The conversation has ended.
>She just slowly closes her eyes and mulls over your words with a small smile on her mouth.
>It wasn’t really an effort on your part; you and Minuette just know that you can’t talk about it any further…this is as far as it can go.
>Damaged feelings are your destiny, it seems.
>Silently, Minuette rises from the table and starts for the door while you slowly trail behind her.
>Once outside, you hand Minuette back her scarf she had you hang onto in case she had to rush to the bathroom.
>You gently wrap her small neck and tuck it in.
>”Thanks…”
Mhmm.
>You stand with Minuette in the silent fading winter day.
>The snow is already starting to melt, and the grass is starting to break free from the frozen powder. Celestia must want to delay the harsh winter a little longer.
>Minuette looks into your eyes. There’s no sound, save for the chattering of the leaves overhead as the wind blows between the two of you.
>”Back then?”
>You nod, and the two of you crunch your way through the snow back to your hotel. It’s your last night of staying here. Rarity left to go back to Manehattan, so you’ll be staying at your former residence from now on.
>You aren’t exactly looking forward to throwing out all the things she left behind and all of your photos with her, but you aren’t exactly looking forward to anything anymore.
>Minuette and you reach the hotel finally.
>The door is flung open, exposing the vacant single room.
>Silently, Minutte plops down on the bed and throws the covers over her head. The tv is still on from this morning.
>You feel a little lost in her company now. You walk passed the aching pony to the bathroom. Minuette doesn’t stir under the blankets at all.
>You undress and turn on the faucet before entering the shower.
>Everything feels like it has changed now. Just yesterday you were falling for this mare, and now it seems that your fantasy is falling away from you.
>It’s a terrible feeling to think that love is slipping away from you yet again in this world.
>The weak stream of water barely covers your back. You decide to sit down and enjoy it.
>The water flows onto your shoulders while you think.
>In the other room, Minuette sleeps.
>You’re sick of living in fear; you’re sick of wondering what could have been and what might be.
>You turn the water off and dry yourself before walking into the other room.
>As you stand over Minuette, she stirs in bed before opening her eyes to look at you.
>Her blue eyes, strained with overuse and excessive alcohol intake, stare up at you.
>She’s so worn out physically while you are emotionally.
Minuette…we have to talk about some things.
>She nods in agreement.
>”I know, Anon.”
>You lay in the bed next to her and Minuette lies on her back with you.
>There’s a stillness in the room that can’t be ignored by simple small talk any longer. Everything has lead up to this moment.
>The mattress creeks a little as you try to get comfortable.
>The two of you lay staring at the ceiling just like you did a few nights ago in Manehattan.
>So much has changed in such a small amount of time.
>”Anon?”
Hmm?
>”Why are you mad? Are you mad at me?”
>Not being subtle about it, you sigh.
I don’t know really.
>Minuette seems to fidget in her spot.
>”Oh…”
>She rolls over to face you, her eyes brimming with tears of sorrow.
Hey, what’s wrong?
>She sniffles and tries to speak.
>”I…I’m sorry I did this…got t-to close to you and stuff…”
>Her voice cracks a little as she stops to calm herself.
>You are grief stricken by her outburst. While you’re happy to get an apology, it pains you to see the pony you are for so deeply in pain like this…at your expense no less.
>While the moment passes over in your head, Minuette rests her head on your shoulder.
>She lets out a few jagged sighs and regains her composure.
>You lower your head onto hers to comfort her.
Hey…don’t worry about it. Things just…happen I guess…nothing you can do about it.
>Minuette rubs her eyes.
>”Gosh…you really suck at making people feel better…”
>Her sarcasm is one of the sweetest things to your ears right now.
You knew this already.
>Minuette’s ears twitch around as the pillow rubs against them.
>”I know that.”
>You’re at a loss for words right now. But maybe Minuette being in your arms is better than talking right now.
>She’s upset…you’re upset; and there’s nothing that either of you can do to make the other feel better.
>You breathe in the air around Minuette before speaking;  the smell of cigarettes, toothpaste, liquor  fill your nose.
>With a heavy heart you break the silence between you.
Remember when you said that you were lost, and you didn’t know where to go? Back when we were in the city?
>Minuette’s silence is given as an answer.
Well, I don’t really…have a place that I like to go when I feel lost.
>She looks up at you with a slightly saddened face.
>”No?”
>You shake your head.
Nope.
>Her face droops a little more before she lays her head back down.
>”That’s so sad.”
>It is a little bit to you.  You gently stroke her mane in small passes with the tips of your fingers.
But I do have something.
>The wind outside blows hard, reverberating in the small room.
I have you.
>Minuette releases a small gasp before rolling over and burying her face in your body where she silently cries.
>”I-I’m sorry…”
>Your tears start to flow too. Your anchor is going to be leaving you soon. Life without Minuette is something you don’t want to think about.
Don’t be…
>You lay and hold the weeping unicorn until the two of you fall asleep.
>Hours later you awake; 11:30.
>Minuette is laying at the edge of the bed staring at her packed suitcases.
>She’s completely motionless as you lean up and crawl towards her.
>”Well…it’s all done now; everything’s packed.”
You know you could have woken me up; I would have helped you pack.
>Not that you wouldn’t feel completely crushed while doing so.
>She looks back and forces a smile as she shakes her head.
>”That’s okay…I got it.”
>She returns to her subtle, silent presence beside you.
>When you look at the packed bags before you, a tangible indicator that Minuette will soon be out of your life, you want to cry.
>Cry more…
>You sigh.
>You’re all cried out.
>You need release.
I guess this is the last time we’re going to see each other then?
>Minuette doesn’t move her head.
>”Well…you’re seeing me off tomorrow aren’t you?”
Yeah…I guess you’re right.
>There’s silence; except the unicorns breaths.
I mean, I don’t want to…I don’t want you to go at all…ever, really. I don’t want you to go back.
>She looks at you blankly, the way she always does; her eyes dull.
>Her same emotionless, uninterested way.
>It’s not the reaction you want from her. You want her to care.
>Even if she’s angry, you want to be able to tell.
Why ARE you going back? I really don’t understand.
>Minuette scrunches her mouth and shrugs.
>”Because I have to, I guess.”
>You’re starting to become a little irritated with Minuette’s constant avoidance of your questions and your feelings toward her.
I…I know that, but…
>She still stares at you.
>You want to tell her that she’d be happier here with you, that she could live life more comfortably with you and you’d treat her the way she deserves to be treated. But you can’t promise anything.
>But after everything she’s helped you with and all that you’ve been through with her, it all comes down to the fact that she’s a stranger; someone you’ve known for about a week.
>It’s more than simple infatuation though. You really do love Minuette.
>But you can’t.
>You can’t promise her that she’ll be happier with her fiancé than with you, or the other way around.
>All you can do is sit there and count the seconds you have left with her.
>So the two of you lay on the bed staring at each other as the time drags on painfully, inching towards her inevitable farewell.
>She looks out the window.
>”It’s starting to snow again; I think I wanna go outside.”
>You look out the window too. The moonlight illuminates the scenery, but it’s not snowing.
Okay.
>You turn the doorknob and start to walk with Minuette through the sleeping town, all the while your feet imprinting the cold grass below you.
>Minuette seems more hollow and passive than usual. She isn’t moving her eyes around in thought like she normally does.
>Maybe she has the same sick feeling about leaving that you do.
>You’re afraid to ask her though.
>She eventually leads you toward the bridge from last night.
>You look down at the water below you.
>There’s no frost on the edges, and not as many leaves stuck around the rocks like last time.
>Things are flowing better. You wish it was easier for you to keep moving on.
>Minuette sticks her head through the railing to look at the water and the moon reflected in it.
>She’s so near you that you can feel her body heat radiating toward your hand dangling from your sleeve.
>So near you, but nothing you can do about it.
>Heartbreak takes many forms it seems.
>There’s a small plop as Minuette kicks a stone into the water below her.
>You stare at the fading ripples as the mare lets out a small laugh.
>You don’t want to inquire. If it’s important, she’ll say something.
>”Remember when you came to my room and joked about jumping out the window?”
>You do; although it sounds much more like a sane thing to do with the way you’re feeling now.
>”Well, I thought about that, too. Not killing myself, but just jumping.”
>She nudges another rock into the icy stream.
>”When you jump it’s like you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to do. You aren’t really supposed to defy gravity.”
Well, pegasi can.
>She bumps your leg with her horn, as if to remind you of her race.
>”For that little moment you’re doing things on your own terms. Sure you have to come back down…but maybe for that moment of defiance…maybe it’s all worth it.”
>She looks at the distant scenery.
>”We all have free will to do whatever we want. We can jump, or die, or start a new life whenever we want.”
>She looks at you. Her eyes warm your arrogant heart.
>”We don’t have to let things like the past weigh us down.”
>With that, Minuette’s short monologue ends as she continues to look at the water.
>She frees her head from the railing and takes a few steps back.
>”Just jump, Anon. Do something on your terms.”
>You aren’t really in the mood for her metaphors.
I don’t know…
>”Just do it…please?”
>You position yourself for what you tell yourself is prime jumping mode.
>You slightly bend your knees and push against the bridge and gain a little air.
>Minuette happily giggles at your attempt.
>”Great job!”
I guess…
>It was okay…not great.
>Minuette hunches down and jumps.
>In her battle against gravity, the mare has a perfect victory.
>As her hoofs clop on the bridge, you stand trying to hide your confusion. She smiles warmly at you.
>”I’m cold, let’s go back.”
>As you walk back with Minuette, you find it a little easier to talk after humoring her.
So why are you going back then? Is it just because you have to?
>Minuette stops at the hotel door and looks at you.
>”Yes, Anon, because I have to. I’m destined to live this life. I’m too deep into it to change it now…I suppose that’s why.”
But…you’re not! You can change whenever you want…I’ve changed just in the time I’ve known you…why can’t you? What’s so hard about that?
>You’re voice is raising a little. Not in an angry tone, just getting louder. Minuette seems to wince at it though.
>”It’s just…more complicated than that…”
No, you’re just making it more complicated. You said so yourself that you can change whenever you want. Why can’t you change now?
>She turns her head at your words.
>”You don’t know, okay? Just please...”
No…listen to me.
>You kneel down at talk to Minuette’s turned head.
I…I really like you. I care so much for you, and all I want to do is see you happy. But if you go back to your home I just know you won’t be happy.
>Minuette hangs her head in defeat.
Please…stay here with me. I can be the person I know you need because…
>A lone tear falls from Minuette’s eyes and burns through the snow beneath her.
Because…I need you…
>The unicorn looks at your face with her saddened one.
>Both of you have tears in your eyes.
I do, I need you…
>She looks away again and slowly shakes her head.
>Minuette opens the door and walks inside the dark room and lies on the bed.
>You are still kneeling in the snow where she was.
>Was this a rejection? A frightened reaction? Or does she know the feelings you have for her can’t be acted on?
>You ponder all the possibilities as you stand up and shut the door.
>Your back is turned to the entrance as you look at the moon.
>It looks so familiar to the one back home. Back home you could feel this alienated too, but there would never be someone as wonderful as Minuette there.
>You slowly head into town…walking aimlessly.
>There are no more cigarettes and no more alcohol to drown your feelings with anymore.
>You eventually reach Rarity’s shop.
>It’s empty, and a sign that reads “Closed for the season” is hanging on the door.
>You stand before the building. It’s a monument of early love and a precursor to eventual heartbreak.
>Minuette loves you like Rarity never could.
>Some people just aren’t meant to be together. Maybe Minuette is one of those people.
>It’s a thought that pains you, but love is painful sometimes. Love means letting someone go even if it hurts.
>You keep walking through the lifeless pony town.
>There are only porch lights on at this hour.
>Eventually you make your way to a familiar one.
>You fish around your pocket and slide the key into your front door and slowly open the door.
>The door creaks and echoes in the empty house.
>Home.
>You turn on a small lamp and take off your shoes.
>The cottage is very cold, almost as cold as it is outside.
>You grab a nearby blanket and wrap it around yourself as you head toward the refrigerator.
>Inside there’s a bottle of wine that you remove.
>It’s strawberry wine from your first date with Rarity.
>She wanted to keep it as a reminder of your love, and how it would only get better with age.
>After a couple glasses of the tart liquid you stare around you.
>The stillness of it all…the rooms echo the laughter of young love and happy memories all around you: cuddling by the fireplace, skating in your socks on the wood floors, kissing after preparing a romantic meal, making love in the bedroom.
>Everything changes; persistence of time.
>You make your way to the bedroom and get under the covers in the dark room.
>You lay on your side of the bed near the door. You can still smell Rarity’s scent next to you.
>You miss her very much, but not in a physical way. You miss who she used to be.
>Minuette’s train leaves early in the morning. She won’t be late, that’s for sure.
>Maybe you went too far in confessing your feelings to her. You feel really stupid about it now.
>You rummage through your jacket pocket.
>The photograph the Lyra took of you and Minuette.
>Although you can’t see it in the darkness, you remember your faces; aloof and caught off guard.
>Just like anyone else in love.
>You tuck the picture back into your pocket.
>In spite of all your bitterness for love, will you still be defeated?
>You’ve been overanalyzing everything. All that she cares about is you. You need to fight for her.
>Minuette is worth fighting for.
>You look at the clock. It’s exactly half passed midnight.