Bucket Paladin

Why are you reading this? I wrote this when i was sleep deprived, I haven't done anything with it since


Have you seen the Bucket Paladin?

The hero who has no companions, he who fears no foe, defender of love and battler of shitbags.

“I AM MUTT,  THE BUCKET PALADIN!” He shouts proudly in the middle of town square.

The guards then proceed to toss our hero(?) out of town for being a pain in the rear.

Mutt may be not one of the best paladins, but at least he takes his job seriously. Having been raised  in a poor village, the only possession he had was a old metal bucket which he uses as his helmet to this very day. This bucket coupled with his crude iron armor obtained from doing various odd jobs around the village, made him appear to be mocking paladins in general. Despite having these factors going against him, he some how managed to become a certified paladin.

During his training, he was beaten several hundred times by both his teachers and his fellow trainees. You could probably imagine the awestruck faces of said tormentors when he passed his combat exam. Those faces were most likely caused by the defeat of the senior combat instructor who had been pelleted with several hundred buckets courtesy of Mutt’s one of a kind bucket magic.

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Senior Combat Instructor “Fistmouth” stares at Mutt whose face was obscured by his bucket helmet. (Has he ever removed that fucking thing?) he thinks to himself.

Mutt casually walks up to “Fistmouth” pulling a bucket from thin air and says,

“Here, have a bucket.”  Holding the bucket with his right hand, he whips it at his instructors head.