A Letter To My Mum

A letter to my mum, Grace.

	A friend of mine said that I should write a letter to you, so I can get things off my chest and tell you all of the amazing and not so amazing things that have happened in my life, so here goes.

	The first major things that happened since you left me was I had to choose what classes I took for my standard grades. I wish you would have been there to help me, because you probably would have known that I would have hated Art and told me not to pick it, but I did the best I could by myself. I took English, Maths, French, Music, Physics, Art, Geography and Computing. It was okay bar the fact Art and French were shit, and my Computing teacher was a creep. I loved every minute of Music though, despite the fact that me and Greig spent almost the whole year doing no work, and panicking near the end. I enjoyed Maths and Physics too, and English was okay and Geography was fun. The best part about this time though was that I became really close with Danni. I wish you had got to meet her, you would have loved each other. Even though she was a bit of a cow sometimes, I loved her and want to be friends with her still. I also started a band with Gavin and Craig during those years, I don't know if you knew them. You probably would be shocked with our sound, but I'm sure you would approve if you knew I liked it.

	Speaking of the band, we released a single last year! Like, a real, proper single! We're releasing an EP as well soon, and we've got on gigs with some really big bands that we all love. The band is the only thing that's remained constant throughout the time since I lost you. It's really important to me.

	I also got not only my higher in Music like you always said I would, I got an advanced higher. It was really hard, and took a lot of work but it was one of the proudest moments in my life when I got my results in and seen I had got my B. I loved music in school, everyone was so nice, especially the teachers, and we were allowed to drink tea and eat biscuits so it was always good fun.

	Nicola can drive! I know, it sounds crazy, and it was terrifying when I first got in the car with her, but she's surprisingly good for someone that's so clumsy. She's moved out now too, she lives with her boyfriend Alan in Clydebank. I miss her, I don't get to see her enough.

	I also met someone else dear to me during the last years of school. Her name is Alex. She was really special to me, and I had never loved someone more than I loved her. But she still hurt me all the same. It was over a month ago that she broke up with me, but it still hurts as bad as it first did. I just wish I had you to comfort me and tell me everything will be okay, but it's not fair. I need you back.

	Granda passed away too, shortly after you. As did my Granny Power.

	But on a more positive note, I'm in college. Last year, I got my HNC in Music Business, making me officially the first of your children to have finished a year in college! (Not pointing any elbows, Nicola...) College is amazing. I've made new friends, and have more ideas as to what I want to do with my life. Well, other than being a world famous musician. I want to work for a record label, but ultimately I still want to be a teacher. I helped Bryan with an assignment he had to do for work where he had to plan a lesson so he can train people in work, and it made me remember that I want to teach.

	Sometimes I can't think of your face. It's been so long that it takes a while for me to remember things about you, and it really hurts. Even when people ask me to talk about you I have to think about it for an hour or so before I can think of anything meaningful. All that I remember instantly is that I love you, miss you, and need you. You were the most amazing mother anyone could ask for and you were taken away from me too early. There have been many times I've been in tears throughout the night because you can't be here to help me with something. I don't know how I can help myself, but I try to.

	I love you Mummy, with all of my heart.

Your loving son, Jamie.