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Down the Rabbit Hole All Over Again (+BONUS SPECIAL TEASER!)

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Apr 5th, 2013
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  1. Part 1: http://pastebin.com/nkHUwGV4
  2. Part 2: http://pastebin.com/11CVEK26
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  39. Part 39: http://pastebin.com/kqECFfJw
  40. >After this week, I will mostly stick to one-shots.
  41. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  42. >Part 40: Down the Rabbit Hole All Over Again. .
  43. .
  44. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQqJVweHq6M [Embed]
  45. A warm fireplace crackles in the sitting room of the cozy cabin, which is situated in the middle of a snowy wilderness, in an unknown region for an unknown purpose, previously
  46.  
  47. belonging to an unknown individual.
  48.  
  49. There is but one person in this sitting room, and in actuality, he is not even a real person. He is a snowman, who in turn is actually a robot, so a robot snowman.
  50.  
  51. He is Nibbles, the Broken-Down Animatronic Snowman Buddy. Alone, smoking a cigar while his metal snowman body reacts in a very negative way.
  52.  
  53. He speaks with his fucked-up talking problem, whilst his lower jaw attempts to refrain itself from melting into a puddle of white, metallic goo.
  54.  
  55. "Oi? Ah! Hallo, glim-gobboos! Hoo hoo hoo!"
  56.  
  57. Nibbles tosses the cigar away, "How are yew all dowin' this aftermoon? Ya mee bee wandering ware 'tee oddah guys ar! Wale, they's had to go oot for a cooffeee brake, so they's turned
  58.  
  59. mee on and said that I hod hoosting dawties, gyuh hoo hoo hoo!"
  60.  
  61. Nibbles proceeds to clap in bliss, "Hawray hawray, I shooted, hawray! I am so glud to see you awl agon afftar so-long! My joob far tooday is too tell yoo a story or five, using my
  62.  
  63. hoolahgrophic pentagoon!"
  64.  
  65. The snowman tosses a pentagon in the air, which begins spinning, revealing five landmasses, "These ploces, are 'dah ploces we wall be foocusing on tooday. I wall recite 'tah thee,
  66.  
  67. storiees about the ancient prophecy! Stooriees about valiant battoes, dispookable villains, and sum lahve mooxed in with a spacial theme that ties 'dem all toogethar!"
  68.  
  69. Nibbles taps the pentagon, causing it to stop in place, "If yew con guess 'dah spacial theme by the end of the chap-tor, then yew'll be the crunchiest pancil in the pancil case! Hoo hoo
  70.  
  71. hoo! Butt, not only that, but yew'll also receive a spacial prize, in 'dah form of a teeser!"
  72.  
  73. Nibbles punches in a specific set of coordinates into the 3D shape, causing it to focus on one of the five landmasses, "'Mah last set of infoomashun, is that, with the powur, of the
  74.  
  75. holo-pentagoon, 'dah point of view wall change dependoon on 'dah story, but that shooldn't be too confuzzling, now withoot farther adoo, the story begans, a hoo hoo hoo!~"
  76. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  77. >.1 - The Man in the Mountain - Kanto - Red
  78.  
  79. For a few brief moments, your spirit feels disconnected with the rest of the world, as if it's flying somewhere throughout the spacial realm, looking for somewhere else to rest,
  80.  
  81. someone else to reside in.
  82.  
  83. Blank.
  84.  
  85. That's when it happens.
  86.  
  87. In a matter of seconds, your inner-spirit begins to sync with another, two balls of blue fire swimming around the darkness, slowly getting to know each other. In the end, you are
  88.  
  89. acknowledged, and invited to synchronize.
  90.  
  91. The two merge, and you are welcomed into your new home...
  92.  
  93. . . .
  94. . . .
  95. . . .
  96. . . .
  97. . . .
  98.  
  99. You are Red, the infamous silent boy from Pallet Town of Kanto of an ambiguous teenage age, and former champion of the Kanto region. Also that boy who took down Team Rocket..
  100.  
  101. Ah, life used to be so simple back then...
  102.  
  103. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-Wla5vlxQc
  104.  
  105. When you were 11, all those years ago, you started a Pokemon journey in the rural area of Pallet Town. You were kindly tasked by the great man, Professor Oak, to capture every known
  106.  
  107. Pokemon in the Kanto region to complete his research project. The man is many things to you, a mentor, a friend, and...a fatherly role model, in some ways.
  108.  
  109. You say very little, only speaking when absolutely necessary, but apparently everyone seemed to adore you as you become more and more famous, defeating each gym too and fro,
  110.  
  111. making such a difficult journey seem like a piece of cake.
  112.  
  113. In the years, you accumulated a reliable team featuring the three final evolved forms of the Kanto starters, Pikachu, Lapras, and Snorlax, with an Espeon hiding in reserve for good
  114.  
  115. measure. Ah yes, life was good back then, when you had friends, family, and people to rely on.
  116.  
  117. Then...
  118.  
  119. Something happened. Your friends starting becoming distant to you, you started to stop writing to your mother, yet people still kept idolizing you. Even after you defeated your own
  120.  
  121. best friend in the most ultimate battle you've ever fought, something was missing.
  122.  
  123. He doesn't really talk to you anymore, you figure it's because his grandfather pays more attention to you than him.
  124.  
  125. Everything just got to a point where you couldn't take it anymore, and like a coward, you left under the excuse that you were "training" to anyone that found out. You fled to the nearby
  126.  
  127. Johto region with hopes that no Kanto folk would follow, atop the treacherous Mt. Silver to train for an eternity and ventilate your silent dilemmas.
  128.  
  129. To this day, you remain there in your snowy prison, frequently receiving mundane challenges from those that oppose you.
  130.  
  131. You were still acknowledged as famous by the public eye, even after dropping the Kanto champion title and allowing Lance to keep it instead. Some of the people idolizing you hadn't
  132.  
  133. even seen you before, which in turn caused them to stir up some pretty wacky rumors.
  134.  
  135. One most amusing to you was that some adolescent women assumed you were some sort of pessimistic bishie badass with weird red eyes. Overall that story was pretty ridiculous.
  136.  
  137. You can understand how they would conceive such a misconception though.
  138.  
  139. Your only real regret is that you didn't get to tell your douche of a best friend how sorry you are for, erm, "stealing his grandfather from him"?
  140.  
  141. Wait, wait, wait a minute...
  142.  
  143. What was his name again?
  144.  
  145. >Your rival's name. Its too confusing to remember....What was it again?
  146. A) Blue, I'm American after all.
  147. B) Green, I'm a weaboo in disguise.
  148.  
  149. Aha, that's it! Your rival's name is Blue! How embarrassing for you to forget your own rival's name...Hopefully he doesn't find out.
  150.  
  151. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfApv6v6Wzs
  152. That's aside the current situation though.
  153.  
  154. You are currently in combat against one of your most fierce opponents yet, atop Mt. Silver as always. This trainer, while young and feeble, holds a strong warrior locked deep inside his
  155.  
  156. heart that preys on the small and weak to quench his never-ending bloodlust.
  157.  
  158. His name, he spoke but one time.
  159.  
  160. Joey.
  161.  
  162. His team, an initially humiliating set of six Rattatas, proved their worth almost instantly. They defeated just about all of the Pokemon on your team, but that isn't to say you didn't return
  163.  
  164. the favor.
  165.  
  166. The battle has narrowed down to one on one.
  167.  
  168. Pikachu breathes heavily, staring down the final Rattata, who returns the stare back with harsh breathing. Both have their health in the red zone, but both refuse to give up to mere
  169.  
  170. exhaustion.
  171.  
  172. "Pika...pika pika.."
  173.  
  174. "Rattata...rat rat, rat..."
  175.  
  176. You know one thing for sure, this guy definitely isn't going on your Wall of Shame. However, if he manages to defeat Pikachu..
  177.  
  178. Then it's over, it's over for you. There would be no point in training up here anymore just for you to get your ass handed to you by six Rattatas.
  179.  
  180. Where would you go? Who would you turn to? Your mother? Does she even remember you still exist?
  181.  
  182. Pikachu huffs and huffs, it looks like he's going to break down any second.
  183.  
  184. "..."
  185.  
  186. >What does Pikachu use?!
  187. A) Thunder.
  188. B) Iron Tail.
  189. C) Electro Ball.
  190. D) Volt Tackle.
  191.  
  192. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZjrSoQRknc [Embed]
  193.  
  194. "..."
  195.  
  196. Somehow, Pikachu understands your "command", and proceeds to use Volt Tackle, sacrificing the last of its strength to beat the FEARful Rattata.
  197.  
  198. Joey orders for a finishing Hyper Fang, but it's too late. The speedy Rattata finds that the tables have turned on him.
  199.  
  200. "Pika...Pika...PIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKA!"
  201.  
  202. The electrical mouse rams into Rattata, sending shocking pulses through his body. Joey can only watch in a mix of awe and despair as his harshly-trained companion lies in the snow,
  203.  
  204. defeated.
  205.  
  206. Joey frowns, never before has he been defeated in battle....well actually, he has, tons of times. It's just that he's never been defeated with his full team of ultra-Rattatas, he slumps down
  207.  
  208. with a sigh.
  209.  
  210. Nice save.
  211.  
  212. "Dang! I thought for sure I had you cornered!"
  213.  
  214. You walk over to Pikachu, patting the exhausted rat, giving him silent regards for his efforts. With that, you pick him up, seeing as how he never really liked his poke ball that much.
  215.  
  216. He recoups atop your shoulder as you walk over to the youngster.
  217.  
  218. He laments over his loss, but you interrupt him with a tap.
  219.  
  220. "Huh?"
  221.  
  222. With a blank expression, you offer your hand.
  223.  
  224. He's hesitant to touch it, but in the end, he agrees, and the match is settled with you as the victor. Never before has the younger boy felt a more cold, pale touch.
  225.  
  226. You must be getting edgy in your time up here.
  227.  
  228. The youngster recalls his Rattata, and is about to leave, when he remembers something very crucial, "Oh yes! I forgot! Oh, Mr. Red guy!"
  229.  
  230. You stop in your pace back to your usual position on the mountaintop, you turn around, "..."
  231.  
  232. "I-I have a very important letter for you! It's from, uh, someone that knows you're up here and to be honest it's also the only reason I'm here in the first place, I-I'm sorry I wasted your
  233.  
  234. time with a battle, it's just that...YOU'RE SO AWESOME DUDE!"
  235.  
  236. His happiness subsides when he is reminded of your blank face.
  237.  
  238. "Oh uh....Sorry. Anyways. I met up with the sender a while back and they requested me to come all the way up here since they didn't feel like they had the guts to do it yet...U-Uh, it's
  239.  
  240. right here, if you want it.."
  241.  
  242. He hands it over to you, trying to refrain from looking into your eyes.
  243.  
  244. You accept it, but don't look at the postage. You assume it's from that one Johto kid you've grown fond for, if not because he reminds you of yourself back in your youngster days.
  245.  
  246. The youngster bows, "T-Thank you from the battle! I really appreciated it!"
  247.  
  248. He leaves with a smile on his face.
  249.  
  250. You now take the time to analyze the letter, if not because you have literally nothing else to do aside from training atop this frosty hellhole.
  251.  
  252. Pikachu nubs at it with his nose, he seems to recognize the scent at least.
  253.  
  254. Quickly, you open the envelope it is concealed in, and you take out its contents. The letter is indeed for you, and its sender is indeed someone you know, or at least, used to know. You
  255.  
  256. don't really talk to anyone anymore so that makes more sense.
  257.  
  258. It's not from the Johto boy after all, interesting, he usually sends you a report on his progress, must be his "off-month".
  259.  
  260. >This letter is from...
  261. A) Blue.
  262. B) Professor Oak.
  263. C) Your mother.
  264. D) Leaf.
  265.  
  266. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqNbkoXsrfQ\
  267.  
  268. It's from Leaf.
  269.  
  270. "...?"
  271.  
  272. Leaf is a strange girl, to you at least. She left for her journey quite a while after you and Blue took off, but still managed to catch up with you every now and then. In some ways, she is
  273.  
  274. similar to you, she is silent, but not all the time, there are times when she does speak, and it's mostly when she's trying to talk to you.
  275.  
  276. Of course you never give her any response, not even a shred acknowledgement, but she knows that you know she's there, prodding at your brain for an answer.
  277.  
  278. Back during your journeys all those years ago, for some reason it peeved her that you wouldn't say a word, ironic given her own temporary silences. When she does speak, she gives off
  279.  
  280. a rather normal aura, with the only major difference from others being that she had a kind, gentle "motherly" tone to her. She looked after her Pokemon, cared for them like children.
  281.  
  282. After defeating Blue in the ultimate battle, rarely did you talk to her, she contacted maybe once or twice before you left for Mt. Silver, but you didn't reply because eh...it was
  283.  
  284. complicated.
  285.  
  286. Your "friendship" with her is as bizarre as the friendship you hold with Blue, apparently she had tried her hardest to catch up with you during your battle with Blue, but missed both of
  287.  
  288. you by just a few minutes.
  289.  
  290. "..."
  291.  
  292. >From: Leaf
  293.  
  294. What does she want to do with you now?
  295.  
  296. >This letter concerns...
  297. A) Leaf scolds you for being "ignorant" all these years.
  298. B) Leaf casually wants to know what you're doing up here, she describes her current life.
  299. C) Leaf pleads for you to get off the mountain.
  300.  
  301. "..."
  302.  
  303. No use in stalling now, it's best to just find out what she wants, why she wants it, and why she wants it from you of all people.
  304.  
  305. You unfold the letter, eyes skimming its contents while Pikachu looks over with a curious face.
  306.  
  307. >Dear Red,
  308.  
  309. >If you're reading this, then good, you haven't balled it up and trashed it at the sight of my name. I understand that we may not be on the best of terms anymore, especially after you
  310.  
  311. became champion, even if it was for a few days but...
  312.  
  313. >Let me just go out and say it, I know you're up on Mt. Silver. The Johto boy you've been bonding with told me about you the other day when I happened to come across him. I mean I
  314.  
  315. knew you were somewhere, and I finally find out, only to discover that you're in another region?!
  316.  
  317. >Red...I'm worried about you. Erm, ahem. Blue too, he just doesn't show it often because he'd rather talk about smelling people, or whatever..
  318.  
  319. You cock an eyebrow. Worried? How can she be worried about you if you haven't seen her in eons? Why would she care about someone she hasn't seen in forever?
  320.  
  321. Unless, the implication is that she's been thinking about you long before she met Johto-boy.
  322.  
  323. You get back to reading.
  324.  
  325. >Anyhow the point being, you just can't be up there training all day long, what good do you get out of that? You can also catch a cold, maybe even get attacked by a wild Pokemon. That
  326.  
  327. flimsy jacket isn't going to protect you from the snow forever, you know.
  328.  
  329. >I...I just don't think it's a good idea for you to be up there, okay? Please come down soon, practically everyone in Kanto is worried about you and your well-being. You're going to die
  330.  
  331. up there if you spend the rest of your natural life just battling people and doing nothing. How do you expect to grow up as an adult if you're stuck playing emo all day long?
  332.  
  333. You shake your head. It's not your time yet.
  334.  
  335. >Look, even if you don't want to do it, at least think about it, please? Don't just think about yourself, think about the people that care about you, even if you think there isn't, there are
  336.  
  337. people that think of you a lot!
  338.  
  339. >I don't expect you to give a response, especially since you never said a word to me in person, but come on...please? Please? Just this once don't think about yourself. Swallow up your
  340.  
  341. pride and do the right thing.
  342.  
  343. >The youngster that I requested to be my delivery-boy is getting rather impatient, I'll have to stop right here, but please again, think about what I said. Get off that darn mountain. What's
  344.  
  345. the point of getting strong if there's no one to show your progress off to?
  346.  
  347. >~Leaf
  348.  
  349. >PS: After a while of nagging, I got Blue to send his regards. He says hi.
  350.  
  351. That's it, just a hi?
  352.  
  353. You take a moment to suck all that in, before crumpling the paper.
  354.  
  355. "..."
  356.  
  357. What does she know about your life? Why is she telling you what to do? She doesn't understand why you're up here. You're up here to become the very best you can possibly be, to
  358.  
  359. unleash your potential and use it to defeat all that oppose you, to never let your Pokemon down and to keep your rank at the very highest. Also to get away from those damn paparazzi...
  360.  
  361. But mostly the first thing.
  362.  
  363. "..."
  364.  
  365. Pikachu understands that you wish to get back to your mountain home.
  366.  
  367. A) Toss the paper away, she doesn't UNDERSTAND you.
  368. B) Keep the crumpled mess.
  369.  
  370. You decide to keep the letter, even though it's crumpled, there's no doubt you'll return to it in the future, just to laugh at it and all.
  371.  
  372. Mood slightly dampened, you head down the top of the mountain to your "home".
  373.  
  374. It's in a fucking cave.
  375.  
  376. To each their own though, it's quite a nice cozy place for what it is. But you and your Pokemon are the only one who's ever been there, so it's not like anyone else knows that.
  377.  
  378. The cave used to be home to a few Onix, a bunch of normal ones, all led by a big one. When you first came to the mountain, you figured that their cave would be the ideal homeplace.
  379.  
  380. The minion Onix were quickly defeated, while their leader scuttled off like a coward after taking just one hit.
  381.  
  382. Now it's your home. A home akin to that of a small, poor apartment, but still a home nonetheless.
  383.  
  384. The snow gets harder as you trek back home, another snowstorm it seems. There's been a lot of those recently, but honestly they're not going to stop you from your goal, not in the
  385.  
  386. slightest.
  387.  
  388. You and Pikachu are shivering by the time you get back to the cave, but the cold quickly subsides once you make a fire, compliments of Charizard.
  389.  
  390. Your hat and jacket are tossed away.
  391.  
  392. You and Pikachu huddle close, your hand slowly petting his fur while the fire continues to crackle.
  393.  
  394. If only Leaf could see you now. How could you freeze to death when you have the warmth of your Pokemon to help you out? She clearly doesn't understand that you're a trainer
  395.  
  396. survivalist.
  397.  
  398. While the situation seems dealt with for now, there's always that one thing that causes you to think about it again.
  399.  
  400. >The following happens...
  401. A) Pikachu fishes the letter from your pocket.
  402. B) You prep up dinner. Fuck yeah m-muh din-din.
  403. C) Spooky sounds are heard outside.
  404. D) You look at a depressing photo album you have stored away.
  405.  
  406. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0xjKvXtGdo
  407.  
  408. You decide to just prep up dinner, it's getting rather late, a quick bite won't hurt, then you can go to sleep, wake up at 5 AM, and resume training.
  409.  
  410. "..."
  411.  
  412. You prep up that rice, you prep it up hard.
  413.  
  414. However, as much as you try to forget about everything, Pikachu still manages to bring up the letter again, being the nosy one he is.
  415.  
  416. "...?"
  417.  
  418. The electric mouse leaves your shoulder momentarily to go to the couch-bed so that he can poke around with the pockets of your discarded jacket.
  419.  
  420. Couch-beds are cool, aren't they?
  421.  
  422. "Pika, pika?"
  423.  
  424. Pikachu continues to sniff the pocket, eventually nibbling on the crumpled letter. He retrieves with his mouth and then unwraps it with his fingers.
  425.  
  426. Does he like her scent or something?
  427.  
  428. "Pika pi?"
  429.  
  430. He was always the curious one, sticking his nose in places they don't belong, but you dismiss his actions with a huff. All he's going to do is read over the same schtick you read five
  431.  
  432. minutes ago.
  433.  
  434. You focus your attention back on that steamy rice you're making, because fuck yeah, who doesn't like a pattern combination of rice and ramen every other day to balance out your
  435.  
  436. essential healthy food group needs?
  437.  
  438. While you work like a housewife, you let out all of your other Pokemon to relax and basically chill out. Thankfully, the cave is just big enough for everyone to fit in it.
  439.  
  440. You -would- hum to go along with it, but you find that that constitutes as talking, so that raises one too many red flags right off the bat. Any source of sound is just a shotgun blast to
  441.  
  442. your stoic pride. It's not worth it.
  443.  
  444. Unfortunately, your din-din does not go as planned, for as Pikachu discovers something in the letter that you just so happened to have overlooked. And by god, it's something so crucial
  445.  
  446. that he feels the need to warn you about it.
  447.  
  448. "P-Pika! Pika pi! Pikaaaaa!" Pikachu jumps in shock after reading the part of the letter you skipped over. He quickly scurries off the couch-bed and makes his way through your team.
  449.  
  450. "Pika, pika pi!" the mouse tugs at the legs of your jeans, re-directing your attention from the delicious rice to the letter.
  451.  
  452. "...?"
  453.  
  454. He hands the letter to you, but of course you're not sure why. The electrical mouse points at the letter, asking for you to read it again, but no matter how many times you do, nothing
  455.  
  456. sticks out as something you might have missed.
  457.  
  458. "..."
  459.  
  460. After it hits Pikachu that you aren't following him, he scurries up and does something that makes you look like a freaking retard.
  461.  
  462. He turns the letter around for you, revealing a previously hidden statement on the backside. It too shocks you, but not as bad as it does Pikachu, you only earn a gasp from it.
  463.  
  464. >PSS: Just in case you go full jerk and ignore this letter, I'm going to go out of my way to go meet you and pull you down that mountain myself. Expect me at Mt. Silver once I get a
  465.  
  466. nice coat ready.
  467.  
  468. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g
  469.  
  470. No. No. That's not good. That isn't good at all. And it's even worse given that there's snowstorms about. That sweet caring rural girl sincerely believes she can scale Mt. Silver and not
  471.  
  472. die of major sickness or a freaking multitude of hail slapping her face repeatedly.
  473.  
  474. How much more idiotic and dense can the people of this society get? Are you objectively the only guy on this dying rock with a lick of common sense?
  475.  
  476. Although you keep your blank expression, you're irritated on the inside. Great. That's just freaking perfect, now you have to skip dinner to play the silent gentlemen and go out and save
  477.  
  478. her tight rump before she gets buried in twenty feet of snow. How utterly cliche.
  479.  
  480. The words "tight rump" begins to repeat over and over in your mind.
  481.  
  482. Staying up in a mountain for a great portion of your life has really hammered down on your inexperienced hormones.
  483.  
  484. Naturally you would ignore every other trainer dying of frostbite in this damn mountain, especially the ones with no privilege. But she's a "friend", to some annoying extent, and if you
  485.  
  486. don't go out but if by chance she survives and gets up here, you'll never hear the end of it. And if you do go retrieve her from this frosty fuckhole, at least she won't have to complain
  487.  
  488. about you never wanting to talk.
  489.  
  490. So you get your jacket and cap, and prepare to ruin your day. But first..
  491.  
  492. Your eyes dart over to the steamy rice.
  493.  
  494. Perhaps you don't have to skip dinner after all.
  495.  
  496. You shift your eyes, ensuring that no one is spying on you.
  497.  
  498. "..."
  499.  
  500. You devour as much rice as you can under ten seconds.
  501. ----------------------------------------------------------------
  502. As the sky continues to darken, you head outside with your team in their poke balls. Hopefully what little incentive you have to actually go through with this is worth it.
  503.  
  504. The snow is getting harsher and harsher by the second, now that you think about it, your jacket really is flimsy after all..
  505.  
  506. A) Set up Sneaky Stones to act as a body guard that attacks anything that gets near you.
  507. B) Take the leftover rice with you for stamina.
  508. C) Sniff the letter to get Leaf's scent in order to give you horny motivation.
  509.  
  510. In order to get more motivation, you decide to taint your pride more by sniffing the letter. It's not because you're a bad person looking for a reason to get off, it's just so you can know
  511.  
  512. where to look for her and whatnot.
  513.  
  514. Your knees start to buckle once you pick up her scent. You'd never tell anyone this, but gee, it's actually not that bad..
  515.  
  516. Pikachu gives you a stern look upon realizing that the crumpled letter has been under your nose for much longer than he would have expected.
  517.  
  518. In response, you give him a shrug, placing the paper back in your pocket.
  519.  
  520. >MISSION: Find stupid old friend before she freezes and take her back to cozy mountain retreat!
  521.  
  522. You trek down the mountain, shivering maybe only here and there. See your blood is already cold and edgy enough just from experience of living here, so it's not like you have much to
  523.  
  524. worry about.
  525.  
  526. It's a shame the same can't be said for whatsherface.
  527.  
  528. You come up to a crossroad, snow blaring in your face, you can't seem to make out the sign telling you where everything is. Both lead down the mountain, you know that for sure, but
  529.  
  530. they seem to split off into their own paths.
  531.  
  532. A) Head left over to the nearby caves.
  533. B) Head right, because that's where all the hibernating Pokemon dwell.
  534.  
  535. See, the thing about Mt. Silver is that habitats are tossed around like a nonsensical game of tug-o-war. The strongest (ie: You.) get to sleep in caves, while the lazy drones who only
  536.  
  537. show their true potential when rudely awakened (ie: Hiberfags) get kicked out of the caves by the strongest, and have to resort to burrowing underground to get what they want.
  538.  
  539. Fortunately you haven't been kicked out of your own cave yet, which is admittedly a miracle.
  540.  
  541. You decide not to head into the caves, for whatever beastly foes await in there are probably not worth your time. You decide to instead play it safe and go to the field of hidden snow-
  542.  
  543. burrows, you'll be alright as long as you don't stick your foot in where it shouldn't be.
  544.  
  545. "Pika pi, pika.." says Pikachu, who happens to be suffering from the more than you are.
  546.  
  547. "..."
  548.  
  549. You allow him to hide under your hat on the condition that no one ever finds out.
  550.  
  551. The field of hiberfags is situated in the middle of the route up the mountain, basically meaning you have to get passed all the sleeping Ursaring just to get up there.
  552.  
  553. Once you get to the field, you notice a dozen or so holes leading underground, no doubt containing sleeping Ursaring and their Teddiursa cubs. Well..this is a game of justifications
  554.  
  555. after all, sleeping predators are much better than cave-lurking predators right? You obviously made the correct decision taking this way, right?
  556.  
  557. Cautiously, you traverse through the field as slow as you can, Pikachu tugging to your hair to keep from falling off and worse, disturbing dem bears.
  558.  
  559. However, your careful stealth-walk is interrupted by the mere presence of an object sticking out of the snow. Pikachu notices it as well, "Pika?"
  560.  
  561. "..."
  562.  
  563. The snow is still blurry, all you can do is stick your hand into the snow, hoping that whatever the item is doesn't happen to be Leaf's.
  564.  
  565. It is.
  566. >Leaf's hat get!
  567.  
  568. Aww fuck..
  569.  
  570. Her hat, stranded in the snow, has now been recovered by you. While this seems like a good discovery in hindsight, it can only confirm the possibility that she may have ran into some
  571.  
  572. trouble while walking up here, whether it be natural or caused by some vile creature.
  573.  
  574. What a dumb girl.
  575.  
  576. At least you know you're going in the right direction...
  577.  
  578. With Leaf's hat now in your inventory, you continue on your journey to save your old friend from possible doom.
  579.  
  580. And after crossing the field of hiberfags, your mind dawdles off to the other people you've met on your journey from way back when. If what'sherface really "cared" that much,
  581.  
  582. apparently the others do too, right?
  583.  
  584. First and foremost, there was Blue. Your exact relationship with him is really unclear at this point, in your younger years you were kinda best friends with him, even though you never
  585.  
  586. talked even as a child and he pretty much made all the decisions ever needed in a friendship period. It was still a friendship, a bizarre one, but still one nonetheless.
  587.  
  588. But as you got older, things started changing, especially ever since your journey started. Blue became more and more of a dick, so much that his grandfather resorted to calling him that
  589.  
  590. simply because he had forgotten his own name. Blue had liked to act like he was on top, that he was the very best and all that good jazz.
  591.  
  592. He really had no idea how wrong you proved him when you defeated him all those countless times. The final battle was the ultimate climax though, now he rarely speaks to you, and
  593.  
  594. you're not sure whether the relationship is still "rivals", "friends", or quite possibly even "former acquaintances".
  595.  
  596. At least he said hi though, that had to account for something.
  597.  
  598. Then there's all those gym leaders, most notably the girls, like Misty, Erika, Sabrina, and that new poisonous one whom you rarely have contact with. The former three where girls that
  599.  
  600. were a bit out of your league, but nonetheless all had their own pros and cons, picked delightfully by yours truly.
  601.  
  602. In contrast to having a passable body, Misty had the attitude of a bitch bitching about bitches while walking her bitch in the park in a crowd of bitches on Bitchmas Eve.
  603.  
  604. If you didn't get the exaggeration, she was kind of a bitch.
  605.  
  606. Erika was really pretty, and her voice was soft, without a hint of evil in it. However, the problem with her was that she had a problem with guys in general, and refused to talk to one
  607.  
  608. unless they gave a solid reason. Now, imagine how you're going to get into the kimono of some girl who doesn't even "like" boys?
  609.  
  610. Moving on.
  611.  
  612. Sabrina was an apathetic know-it-all whose looks were mixed based on who you ask, usually the ones who deny any hint of beauty were ones that couldn't overcome her OP Psychic-
  613.  
  614. types. Because y'know, Megahorn wasn't around at this time, so there was bound to be trouble.
  615.  
  616. Sabrina overall was pretty 8/10, her only problem being that she could read minds and that since your mind was the only way you could talk without actually "talking", then that'd ruin the
  617.  
  618. purpose in your eyes and scar your privacy to hell and back.
  619.  
  620. Then there's Copycat, who was basically a different version of you but cuter and in genderbent girl-form with your attire on. However, you're not really turned on by the idea of
  621.  
  622. technical self-cest, so you had to calmly deny her advances with a shake of the head. Although you also made it clear without words that if she were to ever stop copying and actually
  623.  
  624. look natural, then you just might give her a chance.
  625.  
  626. Might.
  627.  
  628. After repeating what you were thinking of in your mind, she told you on her own accord that she'd think about it if "mimicking ever went out of style".
  629.  
  630. "...?"
  631.  
  632. You pause.
  633.  
  634. How does a move go out of style?
  635.  
  636. >RAGGLE FRAAAAGGGGGGLE ROCK!
  637.  
  638. A sudden loud roar from just up ahead grabs your attention.
  639.  
  640. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb4bz4kkNhM
  641. "Pika pika pi! Pi pika chu!" Pikachu specifically points you to where the noise came from, which happens to be a small snowfield just near the base of the mountain.
  642.  
  643. Speaking of which, because you're near the base, the snowstorm seems to have lightened up a bit, you can now see a tad more of your surroundings, but the storm isn't completely gone
  644.  
  645. though.
  646.  
  647. Now, what kind of monstrosity could have made that deathly roar?
  648.  
  649. >Investigate where?
  650. A) The wall seems to hold mysterious imprints, go look at them.
  651. B) The snow, you might just overlook some items.
  652. C) The nearby burrow.
  653.  
  654. You go up to investigate the rather mysterious crude drawings left all over one of the mountain's walls, which seem to detail a small tragic story.
  655.  
  656. A group of snakes living together in peace and harmony, until a big bulky hunter appears and kills them all, leaving only one survivor.
  657.  
  658. Oddly enough, this story begins to click to you for some reason, but by the time you recognize why it's so familiar, another roar is heard.
  659.  
  660. >A BOOGILY BOOGILY BOO!
  661.  
  662. You and Pikachu look above, spotting a ferocious monster of a Pokemon dwelling atop a mountain cliff.
  663.  
  664. It's a Steelix.
  665.  
  666. Oh no. NO NO NO NO. Not this guy again. Not in THAT form.
  667.  
  668. He recognizes your face almost instantly, and slithers down the mountain to make an encounter, but you can bet every single horny dick in the world that he's not here to play patty cake.
  669.  
  670. The Steelix catches up to you, and then proceeds to roar in your face with a vengeance, as if to ask you how DARE you go and kill off his young'in?
  671.  
  672. Pikachu growls, swiping at the air in an attempt to intimidate the metallic snake.
  673.  
  674. It doesn't work though.
  675.  
  676. >What does Red do next?
  677.  
  678. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsNO-biURWw
  679. Food for thought time, when surviving in the wild, it's really best that you don't mess with the environment in any way at all, this includes disturbing the habitats of any dangerous
  680.  
  681. Pokemon. In this case, DON'T FUCK WITH ONIX.
  682.  
  683. Especially since they can evolve into goddamn Steelix.
  684.  
  685. Then again, maybe you aren't chopped Pokeliver after all. You ARE in self-training after all, and despite the fact that you keep putting yourself down because of how bottled up your
  686.  
  687. inner emotions are, you are pretty goddamn strong.
  688.  
  689. You place Pikachu down, if you can defeat a team of six FEAR Rattatas, you can surely take on a rampaging Steelix, it's just make-sense logic.
  690.  
  691. You crack your knuckles, and you give the Steelix a paralyzing glare. For you have become the single most edgiest person the world has ever seen, not even a Steelix could survive
  692.  
  693. staring into those blank, beady eyes of yours.
  694.  
  695. Indeed, you succeed in freezing the Steelix in place before he can use Bind or Wrap or whatever, those moves are all the same shit anyhow. Had it not been for that asshole's Ground-
  696.  
  697. typing Pikachu would be assisting right now, but all he can really do is cheer you on for whatever you're about to do.
  698.  
  699. You have no idea where you've learned these moves, but you seemed to have acquired cat-like reflexes. You hop onto the Steelix, running up his body as his paralysis continues to
  700.  
  701. overtake him.
  702.  
  703. You hop onto his head, the metallic snake realizes this and he attempts to break free. He definitely doesn't want to die knowing that the boy who killed his children and underaged wife
  704.  
  705. also turned out to be the boy who killed him.
  706.  
  707. The monster snake roars, trying to Iron Tail himself on the head to swat you like a bug.
  708.  
  709. >What does Red do next?
  710.  
  711. You figure that in order to wear the beast down, you'll have to inflict more status effects on him. He's already dizzy, so the next best bet is to give him confusion.
  712.  
  713. This can easily be inflicted by getting the mongol to whack himself repeatedly, seeing as that's what all the stupid men do. In order to do this, you sacrifice your pride for wacky antics
  714.  
  715. that will soon become a secret to you and Pikachu.
  716.  
  717. The electric mouse stifles a giggle or two as you begin moonwalking atop the Steelix's head, blank expression, robotic movements, it is an apathetic joy.
  718.  
  719. Let it be known from here on out though that you are ONLY dancing for purpose, not for fun. Leave it to you to disrupt one's fun by making it into serious business.
  720.  
  721. As you dance, you become quite hard to catch up with. The Steelix learns this the hard way when he begins using Iron Tail on his head repeatedly, he hopes that he hits you at least once
  722.  
  723. with his big tail.
  724.  
  725. But he doesn't, and by the time his barrage of iron tail comes to an end, he's dizzy as fuck, another status effect to join his paralysis.
  726.  
  727. Next, you'll have to cause him to obtain blind rage, which you easily do by poking the fucker's eyes with your fists. With another weak point exposed you peek over the Steelix's head,
  728.  
  729. looking down at Pikachu.
  730.  
  731. You give him a thumbs up and a small smile.
  732.  
  733. Now when was the last time you've done that?
  734.  
  735. "Pika....Pika...PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"
  736.  
  737. Pikachu uses Thunder on the snow of all places, causing a chain reaction so impossible it'd make any Rude Goldberg machine look like a simple game of Mouse Trap.
  738.  
  739. The Thunder causes the snow around Steelix to melt into water, which is one of his weaknesses. The water seeps into his body, and because he's too stuck, paralyzed, and mad to escape,
  740.  
  741. he's hurt quite badly.
  742.  
  743. The water soaks his skin ten-fold. Now, unless you're wrong, that one show about that one boy and his Pikachu has told you a lot about the logic within the Pokemon world. Now if mere
  744.  
  745. water can subject a Rock/Ground-type snake to electrical carnage, the same should happen to a Steelix, no?
  746.  
  747. After all, Onix and Rhydon aren't too different from it.
  748.  
  749. You quickly hop off the snake while he still fumbles about. You then order Pikachu to use Thunder on his stupid side-horn things, those are horns so they must count as lightningrods or
  750.  
  751. whatever stupid shit excuse the show used, right?
  752.  
  753. You nod to Pikachu and the electric mouse shocks Steelix, causing him to cry like a little steel bitch.
  754.  
  755. The Steelix twists and turns, roaring this way and that, but despite his perseverance, you have stood the test of time and have emerged victorious.
  756.  
  757. The gimmick attacks are too much to take for Steelix, a Pokemon known to just barge in headfirst and go for physical shit and nothing more. With one final roar that is drowned out, he
  758.  
  759. crashes into the snowy ground.
  760.  
  761. Defeated.
  762.  
  763. Pikachu scurries up to you, and the victory is acknowledged with a small high-five.
  764.  
  765. Take it with a grain of salt, but isn't it almost a coincidence that Leaf just so happened to be past that ferocious beast's corpse? It's almost as if, if you had completely ignored the roar,
  766.  
  767. you would have found her just fine.
  768.  
  769. But bah, plot always manages to sneak up your spine no matter what you do.
  770.  
  771. Just as you expected, the girl is unconscious and lying in the harsh snow, shivering even. Pikachu rubs her with his nose, but it doesn't wake her up.
  772.  
  773. You take out her hat from your bottomless pocket and return it on her head, she looks nice without it sure, but hats are obligatory for Pokemon trainers, protocols and all.
  774.  
  775. You have some theories regarding how she may have ran into trouble, but those are for later. Two possibilities open up.
  776.  
  777. You could take her to the base of the mountain and to the nearest route's Pokemon Center or play Crazy Taxi and take her to the cave since that was her destination anyhow.
  778.  
  779. >MISSION SUCCESS
  780. >You would earn a reward, but the developers were too lazy and instead feel like making you pay for it in the form of DLC...
  781. >Still, MISSION SUCCESS!
  782.  
  783. You hoist Leaf over your shoulder and begin the long journey back up the mountain.
  784.  
  785. Jesus, are they ever going to add a ski lift or some shit?
  786.  
  787. Some sort of magical voice in your head then speaks to you in quite a blatant tone.
  788.  
  789. "FLY UP." it says.
  790.  
  791. You smack your forehead. Just how on Earth did you overlook that detail?
  792. ---------------------------------------------------------------
  793. >One scene transition later....
  794.  
  795. Thanks to Charizard's help, you, Leaf, and Pikachu were safely transported back to the cave without much trouble. Save for a bitch fight or two against some flying-faggots who believed
  796.  
  797. they could pick a bone with Charizard of all flyers.
  798.  
  799. Leaf finally woke up during that interval, and wouldn't you believe it, she had much to say.
  800.  
  801. Much.
  802.  
  803. First of all, she thought she was dead since she was completely bamboozled by the fact that you went to go save her. Of course like the jerk you are you said nothing in return, but to be
  804.  
  805. fair, it's in your nature to do as such.
  806.  
  807. She told you how she was on her way to meet you, until a snowstorm came and forced her to contemplate retreating. Unfortunately she pushed her own luck and managed to get
  808.  
  809. cornered by the very same Steelix from earlier, she managed to escape, but at the cost of losing her hat in the eye of the storm.
  810.  
  811. You pointed to her head, notifying her that she now has to thank you for finding it.
  812.  
  813. Currently the girl is sipping coffee on your couch-bed, Pikachu resting on her lap like the coy son of a bitch he is. Meanwhile you tend to the rest of the rice that you never finished.
  814.  
  815. It's weird how such a normal girl can get under your skin so often, even moreso than Blue used to. And damn, that's surprising considering the very mention of Blue causes you to
  816.  
  817. cringe.
  818.  
  819. You still wonder whether or not you should apologize for stealing his gramps away.
  820.  
  821. Eh...probably not.
  822.  
  823. Things are getting quiet. What's she thinking about?
  824. A) Let her start the impending conversation.
  825. B) Ask her what's going on.
  826.  
  827. Figures. You take the country maiden back to your secret mountain retreat so that she can finally try to convince you to get off this frosty rock, and guess what?
  828.  
  829. She doesn't say a damn thing.
  830.  
  831. Geez, you're really pessimistic in your thoughts, aren't you? You can't help but wonder if the same dull sarcastic tone in your head is also evident in your natural speaking voice.
  832.  
  833. A natural voice you don't use very often.
  834.  
  835. You look over from your rice at the girl, she seems to be shivering, from the cold you assume. What? Did the Steelix send his big tail up her rump or something?
  836.  
  837. Cute things irritate you, that's been established. You're so edgy that a mere smile from your mother is just asking for somebody to get punched in the abdomen.
  838.  
  839. You sigh.
  840.  
  841. "What do you want?"
  842.  
  843. She jumps. A voice other than her own speaking, MY WORD how unfathomable! Leaf turns to you, having almost dropped her coffee on her lap.
  844.  
  845. "D-Did you...did you just..?"
  846.  
  847. You nod. She isn't getting anymore than that.
  848.  
  849. Her shoulders drop, at least she's getting comfortable, "You know why I'm here. This is a nice cave and all, I didn't think you were living in one, but still, this is crazy! You need to come
  850.  
  851. home right now, everyone in Kanto's worried about you, you've trained long enough now!"
  852.  
  853. You shake your head and then point her to a poke ball. You can't go back. You're too much of a changed person, too edgy, too strong.
  854.  
  855. "Balderdash!" she retorts.
  856.  
  857. Did she really just say that?
  858.  
  859. "You've trained so much that it's BEYOND human! You need to come down, realize that you have a life, and live it out before you realize that you've wasted your younger years training
  860.  
  861. up in a snowy mountain!"
  862.  
  863. Nag, nag, nag. She really is motherly.
  864.  
  865. You shake your head again, pointing to a broken camera in the room.
  866.  
  867. "And? You could always wear a disguise anyhow! The majority of people have pretty much forgotten about you anyways, ever since Lance was defeated by the Johto kid that comes up
  868.  
  869. here to see you."
  870.  
  871. Your eyes grow to the size of soup bowls for a few seconds.
  872.  
  873. Johto-boy become Kanto-Johto champion? How come he didn't tell you that before? How long ago was that? How come nobody informed you until now?
  874.  
  875. The girl crosses her legs, blowing on her coffee, "You have no excuse Red. You've been up here for years and if you stay here any longer, you're going to become a trashy hermit!"
  876.  
  877. Because you're not already one, right?
  878.  
  879. >Major plot affecting question. Consider Leaf's proposal?
  880. A) Guess it's time to hit the hay, she makes some points. Going down can't be too bad..can it?
  881. B) NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU. Her points are irrelevant. Stay on the mountain by your lonesome, you can't leave until you become the strongest trainer in all of Kanto and Johto,
  882.  
  883. and you believe you're not there yet. You must keep training.
  884.  
  885. You came up to this damn rock to avoid conflict, to avoid drama, to get away from the damn paparazzi- HOLY FUCK who knew beating the champion would be so damn life-scarring!?
  886.  
  887. All you wanted to do was train Pokemon, that's that, and now you've done everything you possibly could. You beat the champion, become one, left the title to be adopted by a
  888.  
  889. predecessor student of yours, and your celebrity status is fading away in the blink of an eye.
  890.  
  891. You're hurting yourself so much with these bottled emotions, you have yet to realize that you ARE the strongest. You ARE the best you can be right now. And quite possibly, if you keep
  892.  
  893. living on this mountain, chances are you'll either...
  894.  
  895. A, go insane.
  896. B, get frostbite.
  897. C, resort to having sexual relations with your Pokemon in order to fulfill your natural need for human interaction.
  898. D, lose your title in humiliation to someone more formidable than you, if such a person exists.
  899.  
  900. You sigh. The past years were some of the most calm, and at the same time dangerous, years of your entire life, do you really want to just throw everything you've gained just to go back
  901.  
  902. to your simple rural country life in the middle of Kanto?
  903.  
  904. Which god forbid is already defined as "Boonies-central" anyhow.
  905.  
  906. "Fine."
  907.  
  908. Leaf jumps again, she still hasn't gotten used to you...erm...talking.
  909.  
  910. >This makes or breaks it. How do you approach Leaf?
  911. A) With that dull, sarcasm tone in your head, you don't like the idea of leaving Mt. Silver, but you'll have to stick with it. You're tolerant.
  912. B) With typical teen depression, ventilate your problems and why you hate everything and everyone. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU.
  913. C) With charm, it'd be better for you to seal your fate and seize her rump than to seize your Espeon's rump.
  914. D) With irritation, you hate everything and everyone. Everything in your head is hate because you've been up here in this cold rock, alone with no one to bro it up with. Accept her plea,
  915.  
  916. but don't tolerate her presence.
  917.  
  918. "Red, please! I'm asking for you to please get off the mo- Wait. What? What did you just say?" asks a bamboozled Leaf.
  919.  
  920. Something inside of you snaps at that very moment, and it becomes evident within seconds that this is residue from your bottled emotions, which in itself also contains your hormones.
  921.  
  922. The hormones you never experienced with anyone else yet. Wait a damn doody minute....
  923.  
  924. THAT'S IT!
  925.  
  926. The secret to becoming godly!
  927.  
  928. Your hormones are the one thing keeping you from becoming the strongest! You may be physically the strongest, the most mentally capable, but you're no where near an emotional
  929.  
  930. tyrant.
  931.  
  932. You're just a blank robot.
  933.  
  934. You're starting to appreciate this settling down idea more and more as the seconds tick by. Your penis is trying to get you to believe that seizing the rump of a delicious maiden is what
  935.  
  936. will give you that extra kick to be the most pimping asshole this side of Kanto has ever seen.
  937.  
  938. You begin doing equations in your head, and with the logic and ideology of your forgotten penis, everything begins making sense. Why do you hate people? Because you're not close to
  939.  
  940. anyone. Why are you close with your Pokemon? Because you're not close with people. Why did the youngster almost defeat you? Because he was close with people and Pokemon! He
  941.  
  942. had a balance, you...you don't.
  943.  
  944. So it's true then...
  945.  
  946. You really do need to go home. Get back to your mom, get back to Blue, Professor Oak, and....whatsherface.
  947.  
  948. You turn on the old sink in the cave's "kitchen", which is really just recycled water from a secret aquifer that you discovered conveniently near the cave. A few pipe hooks up, and
  949.  
  950. shaboobie. You splash the cold water in your face, readying your emo-demeanor for something unlike your apathetic behavior.
  951.  
  952. In order to raise your emotional level and become overall strongest, you'll have to have good relations with people. Good relations with people stem from conversations. Conversations
  953.  
  954. start between two people. Conversations get more interesting with more than two people, people are coaxed into joining in when they see two people already talking. Those two people
  955.  
  956. have to be close too.
  957.  
  958. God, you're so fucking OCD it's not even funny. Was this in you before the mountain or what?
  959.  
  960. Anyhow, basic shit ten-fold, you need a closed relationship with a...eugh...feminine partner whom you really enjoy to be around, someone that makes you tingle in ways you haven't
  961.  
  962. tingled before.
  963.  
  964. You look at Leaf.
  965.  
  966. Why is her face less irritating than it was before?
  967.  
  968. You look down at your jeans.
  969.  
  970. Why are you pitching up a tent, you're not going camping?
  971.  
  972. You take a moment to contemplate the situation, you have a girl here who obviously thinks very much of you. In the past she was always trying to catch up with you, always wanting to
  973.  
  974. know you, always wanting you to speak to her. But you never gave her any recognition because you didn't think much of it, and because your dick wasn't able to think on its own at the
  975.  
  976. time.
  977.  
  978. This girl is obviously concerned for your well-being even long after you departed from everyone's lives, who knows how long she was stalking Kanto and Johto, searching for you. She
  979.  
  980. even climbed a whole mountain to try to speak to you because "she was worried".
  981.  
  982. You've known her long, the minimum compliment you can give her is that she isn't ugly, and it's a rank better than going full-homo and fucking Blue. Plus it's not like you can do any
  983.  
  984. better, every other girl is either someone you mentioned earlier or a crazed psychotic fangirl.
  985.  
  986. This girl here holds a fancy for you and you've been so stupid that you never realized it.
  987.  
  988. You continue to wash your face. Afterwards, you put on a small smile. You crack your knuckles again, this can only end in either fluff or a punch to the face.
  989.  
  990. You look at your Blastoise, who just so happened to have been eating rice this entire time with Snorlax.
  991.  
  992. "Wish me luck."
  993.  
  994. Blastoise turns to your Venusaur, confused, "Toise?"
  995.  
  996. You hop over Lapras and Charizard's large figures as you make your way back to the cave's "sitting room". Your smile is somehow enough to get Pikachu and Espeon to scuttle away
  997.  
  998. from Leaf's lap, their personal girl-style chair.
  999.  
  1000. Now, how in the fuck do they do this in the movies?
  1001.  
  1002. You shrug. You grab Leaf's hands, staring at her with that smile, [spoiler]"I said fine. Let's go home."[/spoiler]
  1003.  
  1004. Leaf's eyes widen, "Woah...Really? Just like that? Gosh, I thought for sure I would have needed like a few more hours to get you to even consider the idea."
  1005.  
  1006. You shake your head, confirming that you're telling the truth and that you genuinely want to get off already.
  1007.  
  1008. Leaf's expression soon turns into one of pure happiness, "W-Woah..I-I mean, that's brilliant! Great, great, great! I can't believe it, you're actually coming home!" she jumps in for a hug,
  1009.  
  1010. which you can understand, but didn't expect coming.
  1011.  
  1012. You return it, "Oh my god, everyone's going to be so happy to see you! Don't you realize how momentous of an occasion this is? We'll be back at Pallet Town just like old times, and
  1013.  
  1014. you could even help me finish the PokeDex if you want, I still have a few more left to go!"
  1015.  
  1016. Why does this idea keep getting better and better the more you hear about it?
  1017.  
  1018. Leaf continues to keep the bubbly smile, "Oh my god, I still can't believe I did it! Can we go now? We can go back for your stuff later, I mean, I told everyone that I was going up here,
  1019.  
  1020. and god they won't be able to contain their panties when they find this out!"
  1021.  
  1022. You nod. Might as well. You're especially wondering how your mother has been holding up all alone in the house ever since you left and your father walked out on you.
  1023.  
  1024. Still giddy, Leaf makes motion to leave, but you tap her shoulder before she can get out.
  1025.  
  1026. "Huh?- Whoa! R-Red, what are you?!" Leaf protests, but you ignore her pleas.
  1027.  
  1028. You're carrying her again. You quiet her complaints with a pinch to her rump, you're quite biased towards silence.
  1029.  
  1030. "You wanted and knew this was going to happen. Tired of this rock. Want to go home. You better be a good cook.
  1031.  
  1032. And just like that, you've seized her rump like a badass. Feel good?
  1033.  
  1034. You turn to your quirky team of seven level ninety rascals.
  1035.  
  1036. "Yo. Come on. We're getting out of here. We have to escort "Tight Rump" back home.
  1037.  
  1038. Your team cheers in bliss, happy that you've finally decided to lighten up and get off the mountain. And just like that, they follow you out of the cave.
  1039.  
  1040. "Hey!" says Leaf. She isn't fond of the title you've given her, so she gives you a swift kick in the bread baskets.
  1041.  
  1042. Fortunately, the Mt. Silver frozen tundras have caused them to turn into hardened icicle crystals so it does little damage.
  1043.  
  1044. "Ow." you say in a monotone voice.
  1045.  
  1046. So it doesn't end with a swift punch, but instead swift kick.
  1047.  
  1048. Cheap move.
  1049.  
  1050. >Segment .1 end. [good]
  1051.  
  1052. --------------------------------------------------
  1053. >.2 - The Return of the Revenge of the Son of the Vengeance of the Vendetta of the Aquatic Mouse Lodge of Unstable Patrons with Incurable Symptoms - Johto - Ethan
  1054. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuT6PpFdZ48 [Embed]
  1055.  
  1056. Your spirit feels another brief disconnection, seeping out of the lucky badass Red and inter-syncing with a different spirit wandering the stratosphere.
  1057.  
  1058. In a matter of seconds, a new connection is spotted, and a new bond forms.
  1059.  
  1060. Congratulations, stud.
  1061.  
  1062. You are Ethan, the current champion of the Kanto-Johto Pokemon League, a boy from New Bark Town of an ambiguous teenage age. Also that boy who took down Neo Team Rocket.
  1063.  
  1064. And today is a very...boring day.
  1065.  
  1066. Of course, your name isn't "REALLY" Ethan, but you've felt so disconnected with your life recently that it may as well be.
  1067.  
  1068. Goldenrod City...a bright, energetic city full of bright, energetic people. You probably would still be feeling the overwhelming culture shock of such big city congestion if your brain
  1069.  
  1070. still wasn't awash in the pleasant afterglow of victory. God, being champion kicks ass for someone with your ego. Wholesome satisfaction. You felt good. The orange sky and setting
  1071.  
  1072. sun felt appropriate...like a curtain slowly falling after his stellar performance
  1073.  
  1074. Huh.
  1075.  
  1076. Deja vu... Have you been in this situation before?
  1077.  
  1078. No, no no. That can't be. You probably would have remembered it if that's the case.
  1079.  
  1080. Anyhow, the recent lowdown is as follows. It appears that your "friend"/"rival"/"male love interest", Silver, got into an accident while sleeping deep in the forest one night. Apparently
  1081.  
  1082. some unknown ruffian tried to haggle him for info and then slit his throat when he didn't comply to their liking. It's a miracle he even survived.
  1083.  
  1084. He told you that he's a trooper, and that he doesn't give up easily.
  1085.  
  1086. The boy is currently at Goldenrod Hospital, recovering from his injuries, something that he isn't fond of. Leave it to hooligans to ruin his "fun" on a day meant to be spent on training so
  1087.  
  1088. that he could usurp you in Pokemon combat.
  1089.  
  1090. To make matters worse, he's given you a duty too.
  1091.  
  1092. Since Kanto and Johto are the only regions that fully allow your Pokemon to walk alongside you, Silver has taken the liberty of walking his Feraligatr around for kicks and noise.
  1093.  
  1094. Unfortunately with the slit throat, he kinda can't do that anymore.
  1095.  
  1096. As a result, Silver has forced you to look after Feraligatr and ensure that he gets his daily pedometer exercise. It's not that bad actually, it's just that it can get tedious. Your Typhlosion
  1097.  
  1098. doesn't seem to mind either, those two get along great with their friendly rivalry.
  1099.  
  1100. Otherwise things are pretty slow right now. Ever since you got back from Hoenn, a lot of things have slowed down. At least your mom doesn't spend too much on random shit anymore.
  1101.  
  1102. >What does Ethan do next?
  1103. A) Go see Silver at Goldenrod Hospital. Or else he'll complain that you don't "care".
  1104. B) A girl over there seems to be selling cursed items and beverages, how cute!
  1105. C) Let's get sum'odat PokeWalker exercise.
  1106.  
  1107. You decide to see your husbando at Goldenrod Hospital, just as soon as you get a present for him.
  1108.  
  1109. I-It's not like you want him to stop hating your or anything! He's just your friend and therefore someone you can appreciate, and maybe even get gifts for. Such as in this scenario.
  1110.  
  1111. A Russian girl of about your age is offering cursed items and milkshakes at a discounted price. You're not into the milkshake part so you just skip to the first part.
  1112.  
  1113. "Uh, excuse me. See my boyfrien-I MEAN. FRIEND-THAT-IS-A-BOY, is in the hospital, and I'd like something for him, y'know as a get well gift! So, you wouldn't happen to have
  1114.  
  1115. anything would you, Ms..." you look at her chest to find her nametag, only to discover she does not have one.
  1116.  
  1117. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXCEEg7BpjI
  1118.  
  1119. "Galina. I am Galina Khovoskhy. Russian main proprietor of Johto's division of Khovoskhy's Things and Stuff. I work alongside my sister who maintains sales in the Kanto division,
  1120.  
  1121. Galochka Khovoskhy. We're twins. Our father, Gregori works in the Hoenn division as the proprietor there, while our mother Golindukha works as proprietor of the Sinnoh division.
  1122.  
  1123. Finally, our uncle Gustav manages the Unova division, apparently he has family of his own entering 'dah business. We each have our own catchphrases too."
  1124.  
  1125. You hold up your hands in self-defense, "Alright girl! I didn't ask for your life story!"
  1126.  
  1127. Galina scoffs, "Then do not ask for my name, mere peasant boy. Unless you are here to purchase, my attention will be elsewhere. Please come back when you have un WONDERFUL
  1128.  
  1129. QUALITY item to purchase."
  1130.  
  1131. >MAIN PLOT QUESTION: Take a gawk at what item, peasant?
  1132. A) The Mask of Uglies
  1133. B) Cursed Viral Advertising Computer Chip
  1134. C) The Mankey's Paw
  1135. D) The Voodoo Doll
  1136.  
  1137. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czYEipntnkI
  1138.  
  1139. "Excuse me, erm, Galina, what's this?" you pick up the mysterious Mankey's Paw, showing it to her.
  1140.  
  1141. Galina jumps, "WOAH! Young plebian, do not hold such an item so willy-nilly! Give it here!"
  1142.  
  1143. You adhere to her command, giving her the item without a struggle. As she polishes the item from your apparent germs, you clear your throat, "Ahem. Galina?"
  1144.  
  1145. "Quiet, peasant! I am polishing Mankey's Paw so that the great spirit dwelling inside does not get infuriated that I have caused him harm most vile."
  1146.  
  1147. You cock an eyebrow, "Huh? What do you mean?"
  1148.  
  1149. "Silly Johto-boy! This is MANKEY'S PAW! Mystical item discovered in the old world, PASSED DOWN to the Khovoskhy line thanks to my great, great great grandfather, Czechmalesh
  1150.  
  1151. Khovoskhy, stealing it as a young hooligan at the age of 10."
  1152.  
  1153. "Oh..Um, how does it work?"
  1154.  
  1155. "Ahhh, here's how it works, m'kusturmah. 'Dah Mankey's Paw has three fingers pointing, three fingers means three magical wishes can be yours! But..they have bad side-effects.... So
  1156.  
  1157. you must be specific, OR FACE CONSEQUENCE! Once three wishes are made, Mankey's Paw is UNUSABLE until its owner changes, in which case you can also use it as a
  1158.  
  1159. paperweight."
  1160.  
  1161. "Hmm, I'm not so sure about the magical wishes idea, but damn, I've always wanted a paperweight! I'll take it!"
  1162.  
  1163. Galina claps with a smile, "Vanduhful! I will ring up purchase for WONDERFUL QUALITY item immediately! Let us go and I shall wrap it in plastic bag for you!"
  1164.  
  1165. >MANKEY'S PAW GET!
  1166. >You now have three wishes!
  1167. >These wishes are a one-time use and have BAD side-effects. Be specific when wishing unless you want to suffer!
  1168.  
  1169. You take the Mankey's Paw to the register, where you pay Galina, only to find that she isn't one to give change back.
  1170.  
  1171. Galina hacks, "SORRY JOHTO-PEASANT! COMMUNIST RULE! WE MUST FEED 'DAH MOTHERLAND!" having made sufficient profit, she turns her stand into a Russian go-
  1172.  
  1173. mobile, and takes off into the streets.
  1174.  
  1175. Now you're stuck with a Mankey's Paw. Should be fun, eh?
  1176.  
  1177. A) Head to Goldenrod Hospital, take the WICKED shortcut through the alley.
  1178. B) Head to Goldenrod Hospital, take the normal route.
  1179. C) Catch up to Galina and purchase a milkshake.
  1180.  
  1181. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABAsmWfddKU
  1182. You decide to go to Goldenrod Hospital, but instead of going the typical normal route, you take the shortcut through the alleyway.
  1183.  
  1184. Your reasoning for this?
  1185.  
  1186. Lots of faggots would suspect someone like you to go be taking the normal route, faggots that want to take YOUR shit. Nuh-uh, not today. You're taking the dangerous shortcut because
  1187.  
  1188. NO ONE would ever expect that.
  1189.  
  1190. But as you're walking, you begin to notice a string of noises following your footsteps.
  1191.  
  1192. Everytime you take a step, a metallic tink accompanies you. At first you believe it's just imagination, but then you stop and actually test it.
  1193.  
  1194. Step.
  1195.  
  1196. >Tink.
  1197.  
  1198. Step.
  1199.  
  1200. >Tonk.
  1201.  
  1202. Step.
  1203.  
  1204. >Tink.
  1205.  
  1206. Step.
  1207.  
  1208. >Tonk.
  1209.  
  1210. Step.
  1211.  
  1212. >Tink.
  1213.  
  1214. You make one more hesitant step.
  1215.  
  1216. >TONK!
  1217.  
  1218. You jump, swiftly turning around, "WHO'S THERE!?"
  1219.  
  1220. Nobody is. Just an overturned trashcan, probably a Sentret rummaging around for a trash-tier din-din.
  1221.  
  1222. "What the fuck...?"
  1223.  
  1224. You're disturbed. But not disturbed enough to go back and take the normal route, nuh-uh, that's for pussies. Instead, you hold your head up high and continue on your way, fuck the
  1225.  
  1226. haters.
  1227.  
  1228. The tinks continue as you keep walking.
  1229.  
  1230. They finally stop once you exit the alley.
  1231.  
  1232. You try to forget you ever heard anything, and you head to the hospital.
  1233.  
  1234. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brGvfirHCus [Embed]
  1235.  
  1236. The hospital is full of dead people and people that are dying and/or want to die, so basically it's mini-version of Sinnoh.
  1237.  
  1238. You look at the Mankey's Paw, Galina said that using this almost always results in some sort of back-firing side-effect. If you give it to Silver, he could wish for something edgy like he
  1239.  
  1240. always does, and then get the short end of the stick, or even worse, killing himself!
  1241.  
  1242. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself for it.
  1243.  
  1244. You could just not give it to him. But usually if someone keeps a cursed treasure too long, they become too attached to it unless they can share it. The same goes for that magical Paw.
  1245.  
  1246. Perhaps....just to be sure, you should test the Mankey's Paw. J-Just for Silver's sake! If something goes wrong, at least you'll be the one going to hell, right?
  1247.  
  1248. >Make a wish to the Mankey's Paw, y'know, if you dare.
  1249. >What do you wish for first?
  1250.  
  1251. Of all the things you decide to wish for, you ultimately settle on something simple, something that you KNOW just can't go wrong no matter what you do.
  1252.  
  1253. "I know how this stupid crap is supposed to go! I've seen EVERY episode the Twilight Zone, as well as its revival, its second revival, Tales from the Crypt, Goosebumps, that Tales from
  1254.  
  1255. the Crypt animated series, the Haunting Hour, those two Tales of the Crypt movies that no one saw but me, I know how this works! I wish for something, and you make it go wacky.
  1256.  
  1257. So...I'm going to cheat you out! I wish for a Mankey's Paw that DOESN'T have negative residue!"
  1258.  
  1259. The Mankey's Paw responds by shaking violently, before closing up one of its three open fingers, two wishes remain.
  1260.  
  1261. But for some reason, no Mankey's Paw shows up. Which disappoints you, "Aww FUCK! Did I get swindled or something? I swear to god.."
  1262.  
  1263. Suddenly, a magical surge of energy goes through your free hand, it singes at first, and it doesn't even last long, but then it just disappears...
  1264.  
  1265. Surprised, you check your other hand, only to make a horrific sight.
  1266.  
  1267. It is is now a Mankey's Paw.
  1268.  
  1269. >POOF.
  1270.  
  1271. A slip of paper then appears in your hairy palm, accompanied with the faint high-pitched laughing of an unknown individual.
  1272.  
  1273. >YOUR FAULTS:
  1274. >.1 You did not wish that the new Mankey's Paw would be magical.
  1275. >.2 You wished that there wouldn't be negative effects, but you did not wish for positive effects.
  1276. >.3 You did not specify whether this Mankey's Paw would be attached to your hand or an inanimate object.
  1277. >.4 You wished for the most common number one thing that everyone wishes for, 95% on their first wish too, you didn't think we had a back-up plan?
  1278. >LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL NICE GAME M8
  1279. >Wishes remaining: 2.
  1280.  
  1281. The laughing blares in your head as you crumple up the paper.
  1282.  
  1283. Embarrassed as fuck, you cover your Mankey Paw with your jacket. No one must see your shame.
  1284.  
  1285. You head to Silver's room, hairy palms and all.
  1286.  
  1287. So that's just great, now you have a hairy palm, but at least it's not too bad. After all, it is just one hand, the other one's still fluffy and creamy with all that boy goodness.
  1288.  
  1289. You finally get to Silver's room, hopefully he can make a wish, get whatever it is he wants, maybe undo your curse, and then some Russian Roulette to decide who gets the third wish.
  1290.  
  1291. >The following spooky shit happens..
  1292. A) Loud banging comes from an empty room.
  1293. B) The lights shut off.
  1294. C) A ceiling tile falls to the floor.
  1295.  
  1296. Out of nowhere, a ceiling tile crashes from above, deteriorating into pieces as soon as it hits the floor.
  1297.  
  1298. "HOLY FUCK!"
  1299.  
  1300. It just barely misses you by a few inches..
  1301.  
  1302. "How the hell...?"
  1303.  
  1304. You look up, and you're able to see what looks like a shadowy figure scuttling through the dark insides of whatever's in that damn ceiling.
  1305.  
  1306. "What the..."
  1307.  
  1308. Shivering, you turn the handle on Silver's door open.
  1309. >SILVER SILVERSON
  1310. -----------------------------------------------------------
  1311. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ7R5QewvOU
  1312. "Hold up. Hold up. A ceiling tile fell out of no where, just outside of my room, and you expect me to believe that?"
  1313.  
  1314. Silver cocks an eyebrow, his fingers fumbling around with the jello that the nurses keep bringing him. As it's the "only thing his throat can keep down".
  1315.  
  1316. "God, I fucking hate jello."
  1317.  
  1318. You scratch your head, it honestly seems kinda silly in retrospect, but who else can you turn to?
  1319.  
  1320. "Silver, I'm serious! And it's not just that, I could have sworn something was following me on the way over here. And I think it has something to do with the Mankey's Paw I told you
  1321.  
  1322. about earlier."
  1323.  
  1324. Silver pauses, spoon of jello about to enter his mouth, "Eh? That wasn't just another one of your stupid fucking jokes?"
  1325.  
  1326. "No! I'm serious! How come you're not believing me?"
  1327.  
  1328. Silver's eyes wander around the room, "Oh please. Gold Golderson, fibbing and making up stories to win the heart of a few babes he fancies. What a surprise. Face it weakling, you
  1329.  
  1330. always make up crap."
  1331.  
  1332. "This time I'm for real!"
  1333.  
  1334. Silver bites his lip, "Neat-o. How's my Feraligatr? I didn't start acting nice to him just so he could slack off."
  1335.  
  1336. "Don't worry, I've made sure he's earned his exercise well."
  1337.  
  1338. Silver takes in another cube of jello, "I'll see to it that you're telling the truth this time. Ever since McUgly Whatsherface was permanently inducted in here, you've been fibbing more
  1339.  
  1340. and more often. Notice that, jackass?"
  1341.  
  1342. Jacket sleeve still pulled down, you get near his face, "Alright then. You want proof?"
  1343.  
  1344. "I *want* you to get out of my face."
  1345.  
  1346. You ignore his plea, instead, you give him the Mankey's Paw, "Make a wish."
  1347.  
  1348. Silver puts his jello on the desk accompanying his bed. He then grabs the remote controlling his bed, he raises himself so that he can sit up, and he grabs the statue.
  1349.  
  1350. "I admit Gold. The fact that you went out of your way to make a diorama is innovative. But that doesn't mean I like it."
  1351.  
  1352. "Goddamit Silver, make a wish!"
  1353.  
  1354. The red-haired boy rolls his eyes, you're really going overboard with this, you know that right?"
  1355.  
  1356. >What does Silver wish for?
  1357.  
  1358. It's weird for people to still call you by your natural name, Gold. Usually everyone nowadays just labels you as Ethan, and that's because you've been in the news so much in the past that
  1359.  
  1360. that's just what they naturally assume. At least Silver still understands the difference, or at the very least doesn't watch his hospital TV often.
  1361.  
  1362. Silver stares at the Mankey's Paw, then at you, then back at the paw. He contemplates on what to do, and eventually decides, "Eh, what the hell."
  1363.  
  1364. He begins to think of a wish, but before he can finish, you interrupt him, "Wait!"
  1365.  
  1366. Silver gets startled, "What? What?!"
  1367.  
  1368. You show him your Mankey Paw, "WHAT THE HELL!?" he says in shock.
  1369.  
  1370. "Uh, if you don't mind...?"
  1371.  
  1372. Silver rolls his eyes, "Fine. But only because I owe you, nothing else." Silver closes his eyes, adding your paw predicament on top of whatever he wants to wish for.
  1373.  
  1374. "Just don't mess up." you warn.
  1375.  
  1376. He peeks one of his eyes open, "I've seen every episode of every horror anthology series ever, Gold. I think I know what to do with this thing."
  1377.  
  1378. You blink, "Eh?"
  1379.  
  1380. "What?"
  1381.  
  1382. "....We have more in common than I thought we did."
  1383.  
  1384. Silver returns his attention to the paw, he finally makes his wish seconds later.
  1385.  
  1386. "I wish that the negative affliction in my throat and in Gold's hand were cured, preferably with no negative drawbacks to us, us two people, in this room, right here, right now."
  1387.  
  1388. Another finger curls up, the paw is now holding up "the finger".
  1389.  
  1390. The Mankey's Paw shakes violently, before unleashing a surge of magic that does more good than bad. In mere seconds, your hand turns back to normal, not only that, the bandages
  1391.  
  1392. around Silver's neck loosely uncurl, revealing that his neck is now back to normal.
  1393.  
  1394. Silver feels his neck, instead of touching a deep gash dripping with blood, he touches his apple, "Well...fuck. Gold, I suppose I owe you an apology. That stupid thing actually worked.
  1395.  
  1396. What about your wanker's hand?"
  1397.  
  1398. You flex your fingers, "Yeah, they're back to normal too! Holy crap Silver, I think you may have just cheated out this cursed item!"
  1399.  
  1400. The red-haired boy yawns, wiping his eyes, "Great. So now Gold has a magical paw that he can only use one more time, whoopty-do. Well, my throats back to normal, guess I'll put the
  1401.  
  1402. bandages back on and hit the hay. I'm not even going to bother for that last wish, you're so much of a douche you're going to con me out of it anyways."
  1403.  
  1404. "Eh? Aren't you going to tell the nurses you feel better now?"
  1405.  
  1406. Silver scoffs, "And miss out on the free hospitality? No way. I have no where else to go, and aside from the jello, I must admit, this hellhole isn't that bad. It's better than sleeping out in
  1407.  
  1408. the cold every night. I suppose I'll go ahead and milk this routine for as long as I can. How long do throats normally take to heal?"
  1409.  
  1410. "I don't know, I've never been attacked in the dead of night before."
  1411.  
  1412. Silver throws a pillow at you, "Whoa, what the hell!"
  1413.  
  1414. Silver shakes his head, "Don't get smart with me, Gold. That was for your own good."
  1415.  
  1416. You stand up, giving yourself a little stretch, "Well, I guess I better be going then."
  1417.  
  1418. Silver grabs his jello, "Take care, weakling."
  1419.  
  1420. "Shut up." you head to the door, but stop halfway.
  1421.  
  1422. So you can go back and give that sad little homeless boy a hug.
  1423.  
  1424. "Augh, gay. GAY."
  1425.  
  1426. "Get well."
  1427.  
  1428. "I am well."
  1429.  
  1430. "Normal-you isn't well either."
  1431.  
  1432. You quickly exit the door before another pillow can hit you.
  1433.  
  1434. Meanwhile, just outside, a janitor falls to his death from the roof of the hospital building. Silver barely catches it from his window, but dismisses it as some sort of bird.
  1435.  
  1436. Unfortunately, leaving proves to be a vital mistake that'll bite you in the ass almost immediately. For Silver's exact words were that "us two people, in this room, right here, right now."
  1437.  
  1438. Translated from pissed-rival speak, this means that you're only safe from the negative side-effects so as long as you were in Silver's room. Now that you're outside...well.
  1439.  
  1440. You don't think much of the wish's technicality, in fact, you try to go on with your day, hoping that you can make a third wish and discard the Mankey's Paw, then go to bed without a care
  1441.  
  1442. in the world.
  1443.  
  1444. Fate has other plans.
  1445.  
  1446. You do not even make it ten steps outside before you're suddenly hit by a blunt object.
  1447.  
  1448. The hit is so hard that you don't even hold a reaction. All you do is just fall to the ground like a tipped over Miltank. The Mankey's Paw flies out of your grip, and rolls about on the floor
  1449.  
  1450. for a while before stopping.
  1451.  
  1452. "Uggggghh.." you groan, and then fade out.
  1453.  
  1454. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmMu02B5Tn8
  1455.  
  1456. Groaning, you slowly open your eyes, fearing that you may have been kidnapped by that one monster in your dreams, or by spies, shawshanked by pirates, shawshanked by Morgan
  1457.  
  1458. Freeman!
  1459.  
  1460. You find yourself in a dark room under the hospital's first floor, you are tied and bound to a chair, unable to move any part of your body except for your legs.
  1461.  
  1462. A lone light shining over you that flickers every so often is the only source of light you have. Some dirty flies are circling it, basking in the heat as if it were a god or some shit. A rusty
  1463.  
  1464. nail is the only thing you can see on the un-sanitary floor.
  1465.  
  1466. It's also cold.
  1467.  
  1468. And if that wasn't enough, you feel like you've been ransacked, not only of your money and other items, but also of...
  1469.  
  1470. The Mankey's Paw.
  1471.  
  1472. Your eyes widen when you realize that it's no longer in your possession, "OH HOLY FUCK! THE MANKEY'S PAW! I-I...I'VE UNLEASHED EVIL UPONSIDE JOHTO!"
  1473.  
  1474. You hop around in the wooden chair, hoping to break free, but to no avail.
  1475.  
  1476. You are trapped, for no given reason, and the perpetrator does not seem to be in sight.
  1477.  
  1478. >What does "Ethan" do next?
  1479.  
  1480. You remember watching The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest on Toonami about thirteen years ago, and in one of the episodes, you remember finding out that if you tense up your
  1481.  
  1482. muscles, you can loosen up the space the rope is tightening up, thus allowing it to just slide down your waist.
  1483.  
  1484. It's bullet-proof!
  1485.  
  1486. Then again, you haven't seen The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest in like thirteen years, so the plan is a bust due to your faulty memory, and the fact that you were a mere babby back
  1487.  
  1488. then.
  1489.  
  1490. Instead you resort to a more survivalist method of getting out of this one. You knock the chair over, throwing yourself to the ground.
  1491.  
  1492. "Ow!"
  1493.  
  1494. You squirm over to the rusty nail like a snake, squirming just enough for you to grab it with your hands. Although they're tied up, a little harsh tugging allows you to rummage the nail
  1495.  
  1496. around until the tip is facing the ropes.
  1497.  
  1498. It's hurts like hell because of how awkward the position is, but you start cutting the rope.
  1499.  
  1500. What seems like an eternity was really just two long minutes. You cut yourself free from the ropes and the chair, and you do not hesitate to stand up.
  1501.  
  1502. Huh. It really seems like your captor isn't here after all, strange.
  1503.  
  1504. Since your eyes have now adjusted to the darkness, you check your surroundings.
  1505.  
  1506. >You see.. : A mouse hole, a poster, a big metal door, and a tiny pair of tongs.
  1507.  
  1508. You walk up to the door and try opening it. Surprisingly, it's unlocked.
  1509.  
  1510. >What does Ethan do next?
  1511.  
  1512. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rvf1toZz13E
  1513. Too easy. Way too easy. Your captor is making this easy for you for a reason, but for WHAT reason exactly?
  1514.  
  1515. You look around, until your eyes meet a poster.
  1516.  
  1517. Eh?
  1518.  
  1519. It is a poster for the most recent "Pikachu: The Movie" short, featuring Sylveon. However, this poster is directed to the scat demographic of Pokemon users, and thus features the
  1520.  
  1521. Eeveelution taking a big fat ogre shit.
  1522.  
  1523. >What you uncover under the poster depends on what you do here.
  1524. A) Stick your finger through the poster.
  1525. B) Remove the poster.
  1526.  
  1527. You decide to remove the poster all at once to uncover what's under it. Placing your hands at the sides of the poster, you forcefully rip it off.
  1528.  
  1529. Revealing a safe underneath!
  1530.  
  1531. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqTxTQue4VY
  1532.  
  1533. But like all safes in the world that don't belong to you, it's locked tight by a four-letter combination code. Goddamn isn't that a bitch.
  1534.  
  1535. Looks like your escape will have to be elsewhere, unless you think you're man enough to solve this puzzle.
  1536.  
  1537. A) Solve the puzzle! (A four letter word combination...Hmm..)
  1538. B) Continue investigating the room. (If so, what does Ethan do next?)
  1539.  
  1540. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOPDw-r1bDA
  1541.  
  1542. Correct, the password was GOLD! But...why would the password be your own name?
  1543.  
  1544. You open the safe, only to discover a human-shaped figure lurking inside.
  1545.  
  1546. But before you can do anything about it, the figure suddenly pounces you, shouting at such a high pitch that it'd pierce the heavens.
  1547.  
  1548. "ETHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!~"
  1549.  
  1550. Oh god.
  1551.  
  1552. Oh god.
  1553.  
  1554. OH GOD. IT'S LYRA.
  1555.  
  1556. "AWW SHIT, HELL NO!" you kick Lyra away from you, and immediately start squirming for the metal door, but before you can, Lyra slams something onto one of your hands.
  1557.  
  1558. "AAGH! Holy fuck, OW! SHIT, SHIT SHIT!" you begin blowing at your hand repeatedly, flailing it all about to ease the pain. It seems that Lyra has slammed her iron walker on you. Her
  1559.  
  1560. walking hasn't been so good ever since she was inducted into this place.
  1561.  
  1562. "Silly Ethan, now why did you have to go and make me do that?~"
  1563.  
  1564. Still flailing your hand, you stare at her wide-eyed, "M-ME!? I-IT WAS YOU, and holy hell my NAME IS GOLD! Get it right! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SKANKBITCH!?
  1565.  
  1566. You're SUPPOSED to be recovering, RECOVERING!"
  1567.  
  1568. Lyra grabs your chin, tone deepening to something almost soulless, "Oh Ethan~ Haven't we've been through this same old routine enough times already? I can't stay away, I-I, I just can't
  1569.  
  1570. stay away from you. I don't care if I'm infected with a thousand diseases and at the bottom of the ocean ETHAN I WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO YOU AND I HAVE PROVEN THAT
  1571.  
  1572. TODAY."
  1573.  
  1574. Her despicable unstable smile soon melts into a warm one, "Besides Ethan, I'm still at the hospital, aren't I?~"
  1575.  
  1576. You look at the hand that she slammed, it's still quite shaky, "Y-You...you slammed into my hand....t-that was my hairy hand..."
  1577.  
  1578. Lyra quickly makes her way to do the door with her walker, locking it tightly, "Ethan, Ethan, when will you learn? If you disobey me, bad things happen. If you go see TRASHY, MEAN,
  1579.  
  1580. JERKY, DOUCHEBAG, SAD, BITCHY red-headed boys during visitor hours instead pure maidens, bad things happen, IF YOU BUY CURSED ITEMS FROM RUSSIAN WOMEN, E-
  1581.  
  1582. T-H-A-N, THEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN, E. T. H A. N."
  1583.  
  1584. Note to self, your life sucks.
  1585.  
  1586. "Lyra, please just let me go...Come on. Think of...ugh....me for o-"
  1587.  
  1588. "I always do Ethan. But this time I think you're wrong. I think you're lying. I THINK YOU DON'T LOVE ME, ETHAN!"
  1589.  
  1590. She pulls a knife out of her sleeves and points it to your face.
  1591.  
  1592. "I'm not wrong this time."
  1593.  
  1594. "Yes you are, Ethan."
  1595.  
  1596. "I'm not."
  1597.  
  1598. "You are."
  1599.  
  1600. "I'm not."
  1601.  
  1602. "You are."
  1603.  
  1604. "I am."
  1605.  
  1606. "You're no- HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GOOD ONE ETHAN!- YOU'RE SO FUNNY!~" Lyra busts a gut and emits a string of giggles, which is abruptly
  1607.  
  1608. quelled in a matter of seconds.
  1609.  
  1610. "Besides, ETHAN. I know what you've been doing today. I've been following you, I know about everything."
  1611.  
  1612. "Oh yeah, prove it?"
  1613.  
  1614. Lyra pulls out the Mankey's Paw with a smile most coy, "Does THIS ring any bells, ETHAN?"
  1615.  
  1616. "H-HEY! The Mankey's Paw! Give it back!"
  1617.  
  1618. "Nope. Ethan, I know how this thing works. I've seen every horror anthology show ever, four times, and I had ninety nielsen boxes connected so I was partly the reason why most of
  1619.  
  1620. them got renewed past season two. Ethan. I'm going to wish for you to love me. For you to never sway into slut's way again, and for us to be together forever.~"
  1621.  
  1622. "Attention, skank! THERE'S ONLY ONE WISH LEFT!"
  1623.  
  1624. Lyra stops nibbling on the paw fur to retort, "And shouldn't it go to 'wittle 'ol me?"
  1625.  
  1626. "HELL NO!"
  1627.  
  1628. "Ethan. I don't think you're playing fair."
  1629.  
  1630. "FAIR?! FAIR?!?!?!?"
  1631.  
  1632. Lyra punts you in the face, "Yes. FAIR, ETHAN."
  1633.  
  1634. The paw still has one wish left on it. Once it's used up, it'll close up forever and will only open back up if you sell the Paw to someone else, and who the hell is going to want something
  1635.  
  1636. as cursed as that?
  1637.  
  1638. You're fucked.
  1639.  
  1640. Lyra quickly realizes her mistake, "Aww Ethan!~ You're so cute when you're hurt, why do you keep making me hurt you Ethan? It's so funny, hahahahaha!~-
  1641.  
  1642. BUTSOWRONGATTHESAMETIME!"
  1643.  
  1644. You're on the ground, groaning from how hard that punt hurt.
  1645.  
  1646. >What does Ethan do next?!
  1647.  
  1648. You sigh.
  1649.  
  1650. You're through with this shit.
  1651.  
  1652. "You know what Lyra? I'm done. I'm just done. All you ever do is stalk me, and no matter what kinda shit I throw at you, YOU ALWAYS. COME. BACK. GOD IT'S ANNOYING! Has it
  1653.  
  1654. ever hit you yet? Has it ever hit you that you're an ANNOYING bitch?! I mean sure, the sex is passable BUT THAT'S ASIDE FROM THE POINT!"
  1655.  
  1656. "So you know what?" you proceed to forcefully shove down your shorts, revealing your big meaty cock, "JUST GO. I don't care what you do anymore Lyra, kill me, fuck me, milk my
  1657.  
  1658. pee, make me sex the chinese, I just don't care anymore Lyra. You're just too crazy. I can't handle it anymore. Just make sure you clean up afterwards."
  1659.  
  1660. You place your arms behind your back, legs spread out wide and open.
  1661.  
  1662. Lyra shows genuine confusion here, as she was for certain that you were going to fight back in someway, but she doesn't fight this feeling. She accepts it. But before she does anything
  1663.  
  1664. to you, she looks into the Mankey's Paw.
  1665.  
  1666. "I wish that....~"
  1667.  
  1668. Your eyes go wide as soon as you hear her, in the midst of ranting, you forgot about the Paw!
  1669.  
  1670. "WAIT, LYRA NO!"
  1671.  
  1672. The paw closes into a fist, and the two of you disappear in a shiny bright burst of colors.
  1673.  
  1674. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI_Sy_KiMik
  1675.  
  1676. After finally being released from the hospital days later, Silver walks down the streets, quite pissed off. Not only did he never see you again after that silly hug, but..
  1677.  
  1678. HE ALSO NEVER GOT HIS FUCKING FERALIGATR BACK.
  1679.  
  1680. Peeved out of his damn mind that his best Pokemon ever will forever remain in your party, he trudges down the streets of Goldenrod, not giving a damn who sees, questions, or says
  1681.  
  1682. anything.
  1683.  
  1684. "Fucking Gold, can't trust him for anything, how could he just run off like that?! What a douche."
  1685.  
  1686. Silver happens to be so miffed that he doesn't realize the structure he's walking past until he's quite a few feet away from it. Convinced he may have saw something out of place, he runs
  1687.  
  1688. back and looks at the statue.
  1689.  
  1690. [spoiler]">Ethan. I'm going to wish for you to love me. For you to never sway into slut's way again, and for us to be together forever.~"[/spoiler]
  1691.  
  1692. The red-haired boy stares at the statue of you and Lyra. It comes off as no surprise that you look depressed as fuck in it, while Lyra seems to be content as ever. It also doesn't help that
  1693.  
  1694. your hands are now replaced by Mankey Paws.
  1695.  
  1696. It only serves as a reminder to Silver that you have failed him.
  1697.  
  1698. He doesn't pick up the memo.
  1699.  
  1700. Silver promptly kicks your shin, "Douche."
  1701.  
  1702. He walks off, leaving you to sulk in your new-found fate, with the lingering thought that you could have prevented this, somehow.
  1703.  
  1704. >Segment . 2 end. [bad]
  1705.  
  1706. IF ETHAN HAD GOTTEN THE GOOD ENDING: Ethan would have pure husbando (Which in reality means strengthened friendship.) and bro-tier Typhlosion and Feraligatr team-up
  1707.  
  1708. destroying Lyra's Marill-replacement ('Cause of that cooler incident.), Meganium.
  1709. -------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1710. >Segment .3 - Confirmation for Death - Hoenn - Brendan
  1711.  
  1712. Your spiritual soul once again feels disconnected from the world, but by now you've gotten sorta-kinda used to it. Once again, it flies to another area, one more watery, and
  1713.  
  1714. synchronizes with another spirit.
  1715.  
  1716. It takes a few minutes for the connection to establish, but once it does, you literally feel like a whole new man.
  1717.  
  1718. Congratulations, fag.
  1719.  
  1720. You are now Brendan, a boy from Littleroot Town of an ambiguous teenage age. Also NOT the boy who took down Team Magma and Aqua. In contrast to those other nerds from earlier,
  1721.  
  1722. you're not the champion of the Hoenn region, which is mostly because you dropped the position of a Pokemon trainer because "you didn't think you were cut out for it after all".
  1723.  
  1724. Surprisingly, your "rival" and girl next-door neighbor, May, quit being a trainer for the same reason. Such a shame too. As much as you'd like to romp around the region all willy-nilly,
  1725.  
  1726. it's just not worth it considering the fact that it's too tedious when it comes to water. The developers really phoned it in on that one.
  1727.  
  1728. Speaking of May, for a friend, she's rather cold and hostile, and this is evident when things don't go her way. Really explains why she chose Torchic.
  1729.  
  1730. You? You chose Mudkip because you like him.
  1731.  
  1732. Duh.
  1733.  
  1734. Since neither of you actually go out and "do" shit anymore, the both of you have resorted to doing contests. Although that's more of May's thing, you're just tagging along because while
  1735.  
  1736. being a trainer is hard, seeing what else Hoenn has to offer mitebcool.
  1737.  
  1738. Also because staying at home is lame.
  1739.  
  1740. So yes, you're pretty much her whipped friend who she drags around to earn ribbons in what is presumably a tropical paradise.
  1741.  
  1742. Now see, that'd be pretty damn swell and all, had it not been for one crucial plot point.
  1743.  
  1744. "BRENDAN BRENDERSON! YOU'RE QUITE POSSIBLY THE WORST CONTEST PARTNER I'VE EVER HAD!" shouts May in what may just be her loudest outburst yet. As one
  1745.  
  1746. could probably tell, the most recent contest you entered with her did -not- turn out peachy peachy.
  1747.  
  1748. In fact it turned out rather...not peachy.
  1749.  
  1750. May continues to throw a fit over your loss, maybe you should have just stuck to gym battles or whatever. She doesn't even realize that everyone in the lobby is staring at her.
  1751.  
  1752. "Bring it on!" you shout back.
  1753.  
  1754. A) Defend your honor, tell May off!
  1755. B) "NO PEOPLE, LET'S BRING IT OFF."
  1756. C) Pin the blame on somebody/something else.
  1757. D) Run and risk her running after you with blind womanly rage.
  1758.  
  1759. >20% charisma points lost for arguing.
  1760.  
  1761. You decide to continue fighting because fighting solves the world's problems, "And how can I be the worst partner you've ever had, if I'M the only partner you've ever had!?"
  1762.  
  1763. May shrugs, "I don't know, you just are. So there!"
  1764.  
  1765. You pout, "Wha?! It's not over because you say it is!"
  1766.  
  1767. "Yes it is!"
  1768.  
  1769. "No it's not, I'm the guy, therefore I get the say!"
  1770.  
  1771. "That's sexist!"
  1772.  
  1773. "*You're* sexist!"
  1774.  
  1775. That's when a random patron decides to step in and stop the feud, "Whoa, whoa whoa! Come on now you two, stop fighting, we can ALL be sexist!"
  1776.  
  1777. You and May give him a look of confusion.
  1778.  
  1779. >What happens next...?
  1780. A) Something else takes the attention away from you and May.
  1781. B) A team full of arrogant air-headed news reporters come and ask you a bunch of questions.
  1782. C) A sick kid asks for your autograph.
  1783.  
  1784. In midst of the rambunctious fighting, a little sick boy comes to ask for an autograph.
  1785.  
  1786. Only it becomes clear almost instantly that the sick boy is actually someone you know.
  1787.  
  1788. "Wally?!"
  1789.  
  1790. No, not the robot.
  1791.  
  1792. You and May are surprised for only one reason, despite having some sort of life-threatening sickness slowly eating away at his insides, he's still alive, which came as genuine shock to
  1793.  
  1794. the both of you.
  1795.  
  1796. You especially, because ever since you first met him, you told yourself that you were going to give him ten days tops before he would drop down dead.
  1797.  
  1798. "Hi Brendan, May! Y'know, I was JUST in the neighborhood, and then I heard both of your voices!" two Pokemon accompany Wally, one a Ralts and the other a Treecko, the former
  1799.  
  1800. mimics the sick boy's actions.
  1801.  
  1802. You begin scratching your head in awkwardness, "Oh...Well I'm sorry then Wally, I'm afraid our meeting couldn't have been under better circumstances.."
  1803.  
  1804. "Oh no, no worry! I'm glad I caught up with you two this time, see, it seems like everytime I catch up with you and your girlfriend, you both just disappear like that, POOF! So being able
  1805.  
  1806. to actually talk for once is amazing!"
  1807.  
  1808. You're about to ask him about the label he gave May, until you remember that that was merely part of the agreement that May had coaxed you into prior to helping her out with contests.
  1809.  
  1810. Apparently, she had learned from somewhere that judges and fans pay more attention to pairs that are a couple than pairs that aren't.
  1811.  
  1812. As of such, whenever anything related to publicity is mentioned, you have to keep in mind that May is your "pretend girlfriend". So far, the ruse seems to be working, most people that
  1813.  
  1814. see you on contest-related TV shows really think you and her are hitting it off. There are even fake kisses here and there.
  1815.  
  1816. Those are nice.
  1817.  
  1818. In real life it's honestly the contrary, you're not *actually* getting ass, chum.
  1819.  
  1820. Your mind is interrupted by May, her voice specifically, "Oh, I'm doing fine Wally! Thank you for asking!" her voice is sweet right now. It's really nothing like the angry one she used
  1821.  
  1822. moments ago, on you, "Brendan *on the other hand*, is kind of acting like a sour goat today.~"
  1823.  
  1824. She puts her hands on her hips and turns to you, devious smile on her face.
  1825.  
  1826. Ooohhh, you bitch..
  1827.  
  1828. "That's right Wally, I *would* give you an autograph, but *MAY HERE* is kinda *BUTTRUSTLED*, she wants to leave as soon as possible."
  1829.  
  1830. May instantly retorts, "W-Wha? No I didn't! Stop talking to yourself!"
  1831.  
  1832. You narrow your eyes, "Too late." you then move your face closer to her own, "IT'S ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED." you whisper harshly.
  1833.  
  1834. A) Wally awkwardly leaves you to your fake-maiden.
  1835. B) Wally asks if he can take a photo.
  1836. C) Wally tells you about what mysterious recent stuff he has going on.
  1837.  
  1838. You're about to continue the fight, until Wally hands you a slip of paper advertising something.
  1839.  
  1840. >POKEMON: BODACIOUS RUBY AND POKEMON: MONDO SAPPHIRE
  1841.  
  1842. Your face goes blank as soon as you read it, "Eh? What's this Wally?"
  1843.  
  1844. "I'm glad you asked, Brendan! This here is my promotional ad for the upcoming Hoenn remake I'm proposing alongside a bunch of hippies that I romp around with! You know, they're
  1845.  
  1846. pretty gosh darn wacky fellows if you ask me. Anyways! Nowadays I usually protest about the potential remakes of Ruby and Sapphire would bring, and with recent developments of the
  1847.  
  1848. new region hinting a 3D appearance, OH GOSH DARN GILLICKY GOO THAT MEANS WE'LL BE IN THREEEEEEEE-DEEEEEEEEE!"
  1849.  
  1850. You and May blink, then look at each other, then look back at Wally, "Uh....What."
  1851.  
  1852. Wally begins hopping up and down out of glee, "I know right? Isn't it amazing! Finally, the chance to get remakes is through the roof! Do you guys know what my one dream is?"
  1853.  
  1854. "To stop talking too muc- Ow!" you are silenced by May's fist jabbing your sides.
  1855.  
  1856. "No,.what is it?" asks May.
  1857.  
  1858. "Well, I just want to be able to play remakes before I die! Um, because ya see, my doctor um, kinda gave me less than two months to live..." in response, his two Pokemon begin crying.
  1859.  
  1860. May frowns, "That sounds horrible!"
  1861.  
  1862. You shrug, "Yeah. Bummer."
  1863.  
  1864. Wally nods, but coughs a little, "Hack hack! Anyways, I'll be outside the contest building if you need me, we're having a rally there today!"
  1865.  
  1866. With that, he scuttles off while his Pokemon follow.
  1867.  
  1868. A) Go join Wally at his hippie rally.
  1869. B) Fuck Wally, he's a nerd. Go to your secret base!
  1870. C) Hunt down Spoink truffles.
  1871.  
  1872. The two of you decide to stop working so hard and focus on relaxation for the time being. You suggest to follow Wally and attend his little hippie rally or whatever.
  1873.  
  1874. May agrees, but that doesn't free you from trouble. She happens to bring up some more points on the way over there.
  1875.  
  1876. "You know, we probably wouldn't have lost if it wasn't for you not letting me tell Torchic to do that Ember tornado method I came up with last night.." she mumbles.
  1877.  
  1878. You turn to her, "How would THAT help raise our score?" you ask with a hint of irritation from how annoying she's being. Why did Professor Birch have to have such a dick of a
  1879.  
  1880. daughter? Why couldn't he be unimportant and be child-less like Professor Elm? What shit did that guy do that was notable?
  1881.  
  1882. "We'll never know now, will we?!" May retorts.
  1883.  
  1884. You drop the subject.
  1885.  
  1886. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4BbLElSypo
  1887.  
  1888. The hippie rally isn't actually a rally after all, as it turns out, Wally has the WHOLE thing more set up like a fucking festival if anything. Kids are running wild, hippies are protesting
  1889.  
  1890. why remakes are a superior choice to new generations, and how nostalgia billing can save the industry and whatnot.
  1891.  
  1892. There are even rides, food stands, fucking CARNIVAL GAMES, fucking CARNIVAL GAMES ON THE NINTENDO WII, they even have a shot-for-shot replica of Mr. Bones' Wild
  1893.  
  1894. Ride.
  1895.  
  1896. "Seems pretty exciting. Let's hope you don't mess it up." says May as she begins walking on without you. You blow a raspberry at her, then scurry off to catch up.
  1897.  
  1898. A) BUMPER CARS. BUMPER CARS. BUMPER CARS.
  1899. B) Head on Mr. Bones' Wild Ride.
  1900. C) Head to the main stage.
  1901. D) AWWW SHIIIIT NIGGA POP-A-BALLOON-WITH-A-NEEDLE!
  1902.  
  1903. You decide to go to the main stage where all of the hippies are performing and protesting. For the oddest of reasons, they're all eating cheeseburgers.
  1904.  
  1905. As much as you'd like razzle dazzle frazzle the stage with May, Torchic, and Mud-fucking-kip, the stage is currently occupied by Wally, who's busy setting everything up.
  1906.  
  1907. Now if only there was a place to sit down...
  1908.  
  1909. A) Play rock, paper, scissors with a nearby hippie for his own blanket. (+luck)
  1910. B) Engage the nearby elite puzzle hippie to a battle of wits. (+ intelligence)
  1911. C) Go to that fat guy and punt his ass, steal his picnic blanket. (+ strength)
  1912.  
  1913. You decide to engage one of the nearby hippies in a battle for the nice picnic spot he has, it's got quite the stage view, no sane person would ever just want to pass that shit up. However,
  1914.  
  1915. the hippie does not give up the spot easily, as expected.
  1916.  
  1917. He accepts the challenge, yes, but he makes it a battle of wits rather than a battle in general. Y'know, because hippies are pacifists that detest violence and whatnot.
  1918.  
  1919. He suggests that an obviously rigged puzzle is the only way to settle this quarrel, should you solve it, you MIGHT just earn that man's favor, and that picnic spot!
  1920.  
  1921. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2nPysfmt0U
  1922. >WE PUZZLE NOW
  1923.  
  1924. >Four competitive battlers, each named Mr. Red, Mr. Blue, Mr. Yellow, and Mr. Green, were competing in an extremely restricted and limited Smogon tournament. The tournament
  1925.  
  1926. supervisor couldn't tell who was who because they all looked alike, so she asked three of them, but that filthy fag Mr. Yellow told her a lie. They said:
  1927.  
  1928. A - "B is Mr. Red!"
  1929. B - "Shit nigga, I'm not Mr. Blue!"
  1930. C - "You do know Mr. Blue is D, right?"
  1931.  
  1932. So, which of these men is Mr. Green?
  1933.  
  1934. A) Man A.
  1935. B) Man B
  1936. C) Man C.
  1937. D) Man D.
  1938. E) GIMMIE A HINT BRO
  1939.  
  1940. [Anon input B.]
  1941. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD_ZkNDuS_o
  1942.  
  1943. The hippie feels sorry for you, (After laughing in your face.) so he gives you a free hint just so you don't have to mess up again in front of your false maiden.
  1944.  
  1945. >HINT 1: Only Mr. Yellow is lying, that dirty scumbag. Remember that he's one of the three people the supervisor spoke to, you can start by thinking that Mr. Yellow could be either A,
  1946.  
  1947. B, or C. Look at how that works with everyone else's statements.
  1948.  
  1949. Alright then, stud. So Mr. Green is..?
  1950.  
  1951. A) Man A.
  1952. B) Man B
  1953. C) Man C.
  1954. D) Man D.
  1955. E) GIMMIE A HINT BRO
  1956.  
  1957. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTZ_NBBTgRQ
  1958. Your next answer is correct! D is Mr. Green!
  1959.  
  1960. The lying Mr. Yellow was C all along, this leaves A as Mr. Blue and B as Mr. Red since process of elimination proclaims them as telling the truth. Congratulations!
  1961.  
  1962. >+35 Picarattatas
  1963. >+Intelligence, you will now act more intelligent in scenes where you must think hard about shit.
  1964. >Chances of obtaining "spacial teeser" have gone up!
  1965.  
  1966. The sad and lonesome hippie leaves, his puzzle cracked at last after years of it having gone unsolved. He sobs and sobs, you expect May to give you some congratulations of her own....
  1967.  
  1968. But she's still giving you the cold shoulder.
  1969.  
  1970. Regardless, the two of you sit down on the hippie's blanket and watch as Wally begins the protest conference.
  1971.  
  1972. The sickly kid announces that he has approximately less than two months to live, "64 days tops.", and that his final wish is for him to release remakes before he shuts down.
  1973.  
  1974. In order to do this, Wally announces a full-scale Hoenn promotional campaign that'll take the region by storm, and that he plans to do this in a vehicle resembling...
  1975.  
  1976. >MAIN PLOT QUESTION: This promotional vehicle resembles..
  1977. A) A Tentacool.
  1978. B) A Pelipper.
  1979. C) A Zubat.
  1980. D) A Zigzagoon
  1981.  
  1982. The stage floor opens up to reveal a magnificent sight.
  1983.  
  1984. "LO, AND BEHOLD! I CALL IT, THE PELIPPER...W-Well, um. I don't have a punsy name for it yet, SO WE'LL JUST CALL IT THE PELIPPER MOBILE!"
  1985.  
  1986. A big-mouthed Pelipper with flappy wings is what appears, fit with archived recordings of live Pelippers chirping and whatnot.
  1987.  
  1988. The Pelipper-Mobile opens its mouth..
  1989.  
  1990. "MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE!"
  1991.  
  1992. Wally smiles, "Now you see, THE TRUE GREATNESS OF THE PELIPPER-MOBILE!"
  1993.  
  1994. One hippie raises his hand, "But dude. It's just like, a car with wings."
  1995.  
  1996. Wally coughs twice, hacking up some blood, "T-That's just what you think! Would anyone care to volunteer to test it out? It's super duper safe!"
  1997.  
  1998. >Volunteer?
  1999. A) Sure! If you don't who will?
  2000. B) It's not worth it. Some other unlucky douche will ask.
  2001.  
  2002. If someone asked you like two hours ago that you were going to be piloting a novelty car designed like a Pelipper, you would have laughed in that person's fucking face.
  2003.  
  2004. But now, everyone, May and Wally included, watch as you climb into the Pelipper-Mobile. Mudkip is hidden under your [spoiler]hat[/spoiler], it seems like he just couldn't stay away
  2005.  
  2006. from the action.
  2007.  
  2008. "Mud kip kip mud!~"
  2009.  
  2010. Of course, you're still kinda young and you don't know how to drive, but this'll be great practice, right?
  2011.  
  2012. Wally skips up to you, "Alright then Brendan, in order to test out the car, I'll need to prepare you for any given situation during...which is a shame why we're restricted on time so I'll just
  2013.  
  2014. let you decide between this."
  2015.  
  2016. Wally coughs as he pulls out three cards, one red, one blue, one green, "Choose one!"
  2017.  
  2018. "Mud, mudkip?"
  2019.  
  2020. "Choose one?"
  2021.  
  2022. Wally nods, "Yup, choose one Brendan!"
  2023.  
  2024. >Brendan chooses...
  2025. A) The Red Card
  2026. B) The Blue Card
  2027. C) The Green Card
  2028.  
  2029. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QshkcYMLdWk
  2030.  
  2031. You choose the Green Card. Mudkip bites on it and then begins flailing it around like a dog and his bone. Unbeknown to you, Wally has secretly dubbed as the "HARD"-mode card on
  2032.  
  2033. the side that you can't see from your perspective. The other cards were "EASY"-mode for the Blue Card and "MEDIUM"-mode for the Red one.
  2034.  
  2035. Wally runs away from the Pelipper-mobile as fast as he can, "ALRIGHT THEN! LET THE TESTING BEGI- *cough* *cough* BEGIN!"
  2036.  
  2037. A bunch of hippies working animatronics type in a few coordinates, the floor in front of you begins to open up, to reveal that the hippies have not only ironically constructed a robot
  2038.  
  2039. that goes against their ideals, but that they also intend on using it against you with its auto-pilot!
  2040.  
  2041. The entire crowd screams in fright as a giant animatronic life-like Rayquaza emerges from under the stage, "GRAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!"
  2042.  
  2043. One hyper beam is enough to take all of the curtains down, and then some. In the wake of his instant rampage, the only thing left standing is the stage itself. By now the crowd have fled
  2044.  
  2045. in fear.
  2046.  
  2047. It is then you realize all this fucking car can do is drive around and flap its wings.
  2048.  
  2049. The false Rayquaza roars in your face again, his auto-pilot commands dictating the Pelipper-Mobile as his one and only primary target. He charges a Hyper Beam.
  2050.  
  2051. You're going to kill Wally after all of this.
  2052.  
  2053. >What does Brendan do next?!
  2054.  
  2055. As the farce Rayquaza prepares another Hyper Beam, you drive off the stage just before you can get obliterated.
  2056.  
  2057. You drive over to Wally, whom is occupying himself by playing with Ralts and Treecko, "Wally! I didn't sign up for this, what's the matter with you!?"
  2058.  
  2059. Wally looks up and frowns, "Don't you see Brendan? WE HAVE TO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT BY DESTROYING IT! This test is actually a viral metaphor. In this scenario, the
  2060.  
  2061. Pelipper-Mobile represents us, and the Rayquaza represents the people that don't like the idea of remakes. Plus if we can get remakes to happen, then chances are I'll be able to live to
  2062.  
  2063. my 20's. This is all just a test Brendan, don't worry about it, chances are you'll survive no problem!"
  2064.  
  2065. "Wait what?! What do you mean!?"
  2066.  
  2067. Wally takes out his iPod with a shaky hand, "See Brendan? Our adventures are more than ten years old, I've been with this blasted disease since forever, I'ma dyin' Brendan! If I get
  2068.  
  2069. remade, I can keep living! You have to save us, I know you can do it!"
  2070.  
  2071. "How do you know that?"
  2072.  
  2073. "Well, the last three guys we sent up again Robo-Quaza KINDA died, but y'know, four times the charm right? Plus I believe in you Brendan, you helped me catch that Ralts which is now
  2074.  
  2075. my male Gardevoir so if you can do that...YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!"
  2076.  
  2077. You narrow your eyes at him.
  2078.  
  2079. "I hope you die of that cancer, you green-haired albino."
  2080.  
  2081. Wally waves happily, "WE'LL BE WATCHING YOU, CHA- *cough* *cough* CHAMP!"
  2082.  
  2083. "MUDKIP, ICE BEAM!" you command. Mudkip nods and sticks his head out of the Pelipper-Mobile's window.
  2084.  
  2085. "Muuuuuuuuud, KIP!" Mudkip unleashes a beam of ice at the Rayquaza, which strikes him dead-center in the face. But here's where the kicker kicks in.
  2086.  
  2087. It doesn't hurt him at all.
  2088.  
  2089. This is where Wally chooses to interrupt the battle for a moment, "OH YEAH, BRENDAN! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING VERY, VERY IMPORTANT!" he yells from afar.
  2090.  
  2091. "WHAT?!" you yell back.
  2092.  
  2093. "THE RAYQUAZA IS MADE FROM A SPECIAL METAL THAT WE HIPPIES DRAFTED UP! HE CANNOT BE DAMAGED IN ANY WAY BY ANY -BATTLING- STRATEGY
  2094.  
  2095. METHOD!" he reveals.
  2096.  
  2097. "WHAAAT?! WHAT THE FLYING PELIPPER DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN!?"
  2098.  
  2099. Wally shrugs, "THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO FIND OUT!"
  2100.  
  2101. You slam your face into the steering wheel, causing it to blare loudly.
  2102.  
  2103. >What's Brendan's strategy!?!
  2104.  
  2105. Dodging more Hyper Beam blasts, you drive the Pelipper-Mobile over to May, who has been watching the ordeal ever since it started along with Torchic.
  2106.  
  2107. "lelfunny May-May! I need your help!" you open the passenger door, inviting her to come inside the Pelipper-Mobile.
  2108.  
  2109. May blinks, then widens her eyes, "What did you just call me...?" she asks, rather offended by the label.
  2110.  
  2111. You grab her and point her in the direction of innocent pedestrians. The innocent pedestrians who constantly watch contests on TV and are all under the clever ruse that you and her are
  2112.  
  2113. having fluffy relations.
  2114.  
  2115. Master rusemen.
  2116.  
  2117. Y'know if she wasn't so cold all the time that actually may not be so bad. BUT DAMN DOES SHE SEND OUT DEM ICE BURNS SO HARD.
  2118.  
  2119. May frowns, going ape-shit now would just be a scar to publicity, "Fine. Let's go "Brendy". Come on Torchic!"
  2120.  
  2121. "Chic chic, tor! Torchic!" Torchic hops into the car, crawling under your hat with Mudkip, "Oh come on! I have practically no more room in there!
  2122.  
  2123. You feel small embers petrifying your skull.
  2124.  
  2125. "OW!"
  2126.  
  2127. May looks out the window, deducting that she's now out of earshot and doesn't have to ruse anyone for the time being. She turns to you, "Well then wiseguy, you got yourself into this
  2128.  
  2129. mess, MAYBE if we had won that contest, I wouldn't be here right now!"
  2130.  
  2131. With one hand still on the wheel, you place a hand on her shoulder, "That's just the point! It's why I need your help! Wally said this stupid thing can't be defeated by any battling strategy
  2132.  
  2133. so..."
  2134.  
  2135. May gets it after some time, "You want us to use our contest strategy? The one that got us to lose?"
  2136.  
  2137. "Do you want to die knowing we couldn't do anything, or do you want to die knowing we tried?"
  2138.  
  2139. May crosses her arms, "Fair enough."
  2140.  
  2141. The Rayquaza begins charging up a V-Create, now's your chance to strike! You drive the Pelipper-Mobile closer to him, while the crowds dissolve so that they can have fair fun at the
  2142.  
  2143. midway.
  2144.  
  2145. Douchebags.
  2146.  
  2147. >What super cool contest move do you pull off first?
  2148.  
  2149. "Hey May, remember that move we did that made shiny rainbows appear?"
  2150.  
  2151. She nods, "You mean that attack where we cheated the game and made rainbows appear without the power of Grass? That's illegal nubnuts."
  2152.  
  2153. You look at the pedestrians, "They don't have to know that though, Mudkip and Torchic, get on top of the Pelipper Mobile!"
  2154.  
  2155. Mudkip and Torchic nod. The two tiny starters are sent to the top via the vehicle's sunroof, pretty awkward for a car like that to have one, but hey, you're not complaining.
  2156.  
  2157. The Rayquaza launches the V-Create, but it misses. In response, the dragon roars and launches repeat Dragon Pulses without a single shred of mercy.
  2158.  
  2159. "MUDKIP, WATER PLEDGE!
  2160.  
  2161. "TORCHIC, FIRE PLEDGE!"
  2162.  
  2163. "Mud, MUDKIIIIIIIIIIIP!"
  2164.  
  2165. "Tor, TORRRRRCHIIIIIIIIIIC!"
  2166.  
  2167. Two twin streams of elements get shot out, one of water, the other of fire. In the midst of his rage, Rayquaza doesn't notice the twin beams heading at him.
  2168.  
  2169. Together, the elements create a vault of steam, as well as a magical flashy rainbow of penetration, a rainbow which powers up both of the moves to their highest potential.
  2170.  
  2171. Rayquaza is about to let out another shockwave of a Dragon Pulse when the two pledges smack him upside his head. The steam goes inside of his machinery, causing him to rust up,
  2172.  
  2173. while the shiny rainbow blinds him with the power of CONTEST LOVE!
  2174.  
  2175. The farce dragon falls to the ground, the rusting having stopped him from flying. Left with few options because of this, he starts to randomly spew Hyper Beams.
  2176.  
  2177. Mudkip and Torchic start dancing in bliss, "Mudkiiiip!"
  2178.  
  2179. "Torchic, chic!"
  2180.  
  2181. May twitches, "Whoa...That....That actually worked you dork! You did it!"
  2182.  
  2183. You're quite surprised yourself, that plan actually WORKED?
  2184.  
  2185. "Whoa, shit, I'm shocked too, but we're not done yet! We need to give him the 'ol RAZZLE DAZZLE FRAZZLE!"
  2186.  
  2187. >Rayquaza has rusted up! How does Brendan take him down?
  2188.  
  2189. Mudkip and Torchic head back into the car through the sunroof. You then drive at full speed towards the malfunctioning Rayquaza.
  2190.  
  2191. "Brendan, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
  2192.  
  2193. You place a finger on May's nose, "No time May-May! NO TIME! I need you to give me a hand grenade so I can blow up the Rayquaza!"
  2194.  
  2195. May gives you a blank face, "I'm sorry, what?"
  2196.  
  2197. "You don't have a hand grenade?" you ask.
  2198.  
  2199. She shakes her head, "No, no I don't. That's not "MY" thing. If you get what I'm saying."
  2200.  
  2201. "Oh...Well, do you at least have a diet soda?"
  2202.  
  2203. A bottle of diet soda gets tossed at your cheek.
  2204.  
  2205. With one hand on the wheel and the other in your pocket, you search for the next item to aid the cold bottle of soda stashed in-between your thighs. It doesn't take too long to locate it
  2206.  
  2207. either. Because they're just mentos.
  2208.  
  2209. Quickly as can be, you take out just ONE of the mentos and then you un-screw the crap cap off. Before all dem carbonated gases and shit can escape, you stick the mentos under the
  2210.  
  2211. bottle cap, place it back on.
  2212.  
  2213. And you unleash the behemoth by simply closing the bottle.
  2214.  
  2215. Immediately the bottle begins to burst, the mentos releasing so much power into the beverage that the soda can burst at any minute. You keep your palm pressing down on the cap to
  2216.  
  2217. prevent ANYTHING from spilling out, you're going to need full power to defeat the false legendary.
  2218.  
  2219. "Alright May, jump out the car when I say so!"
  2220.  
  2221. "Are you mad?!"
  2222.  
  2223. "No....I'm glad.... NOW!" you call with a snap of your fingers. However, May is too dumbstruck by the plan to go through with it. With a slap to the forehead, you grab May's hand and
  2224.  
  2225. jump with her out of the car.
  2226.  
  2227. The car crashes into the Rayquaza, causing a gigantic explosion. But it doesn't fully decimate the beast. Next, you quickly toss the diet soda into the dragon's mouth, that mug just can't
  2228.  
  2229. keep holding on anymore.
  2230.  
  2231. Impending the final blow that might just kill you due to how close you are. You quickly toss out your trusty Flygon. Without question, you grab May and the starter Pokemon, ordering
  2232.  
  2233. the antlion to fly as fast as he fucking can.
  2234.  
  2235. Boom.
  2236.  
  2237. The Rayquaza's already rusted gears are browned to kingdom come and back by the exploding soda, bubbles begin forming in his mouth, keeping him from shooting out any more Hyper
  2238.  
  2239. Beams. In the end, the soda overrides his circuitry, short-circuiting him until he's nothing but a heap of rusted scrap metal with a light green hue.
  2240.  
  2241. However, some soda gets onto Flygon, making his wings all wet and noise. The antlion ends up crashing in front of the crowd of pedestrians watching.
  2242.  
  2243. Inconveniently, May lands on top of you. Although nice, it's clear by her expression that she's really not thinking much about it.
  2244.  
  2245. But the completely unaware crowd does.
  2246.  
  2247. "KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS."
  2248.  
  2249. You and May look at each other.
  2250.  
  2251. Oh good lord.
  2252.  
  2253. Wally runs to the destroyed ruins with the other hippies, "NOOOO! My...My remakes....I'm going to die now! MY HEALTH IS DETERIORATING!"
  2254.  
  2255. Wally's skin gets the better of him, it turns into the skin of a frail porcelean doll.
  2256.  
  2257. Wally's face cracks up, and then just chaps off like broken glass.
  2258.  
  2259. One of the hippies just stares at what remains of the sickly young boy, "Woah....Dude. Dude. Did...Did anybody see that? That guy..that guy just cracked up and broke like...like a
  2260.  
  2261. window."
  2262.  
  2263. Meanwhile, everyone around you is expecting that frilly meta-end to the story in the form of a kiss.
  2264.  
  2265. Of course, everyone doesn't know the ugly truth that you and May aren't really cuddlefucking and that's it's all for publicity's sake but again.
  2266.  
  2267. They don't have to know that.
  2268.  
  2269. You give May a coy smirk, which she catches. The two of you then diverge into a conversation concealed behind quiet whispers.
  2270.  
  2271. "Why are you looking at me like that?!"
  2272.  
  2273. "You know why! You know EXACTLY what they want us to do."
  2274.  
  2275. "But we're not-!...YOU KNOW. That's just to get attention!"
  2276.  
  2277. "And what do you suppose will happen when all these good people find out we're just pulling a ruse on them for the sake of publicity?"
  2278.  
  2279. May pauses to think about it, "We'll be lampooned and become social pariahs? Well, you're already one, so nothing changes there."
  2280.  
  2281. "Ha ha. Funny. Anyhow, I propose an idea."
  2282.  
  2283. "Is this going to end in us lip to lip?"
  2284.  
  2285. "No doubt."
  2286.  
  2287. "....Go on."
  2288.  
  2289. You take a brave step here.
  2290.  
  2291. "To prevent us from being found out one day and being made out to be coons, why don't we stop playing pretend and take things to the next level?"
  2292.  
  2293. May stammers, "W-WHAT?! M-Me, and you, for real?! You're out of your mind! Plus, I'm not ready about those kind of things yet, I still have decisions to make and stuff!"
  2294.  
  2295. You roll your eyes, "Oh. Oh really? Who else you got? Who else do you have your eyes on? Broken doll over there? He's nothing but dead pieces of doll now."
  2296.  
  2297. "....Good point."
  2298.  
  2299. Coy smile still on, you continue, "So....What do you say? You already practically wrote yourself into a hole the minute you came up with this contest idea anyways. Plus, if our
  2300.  
  2301. emotions are more fluffy and positive, statistics show that we'll perform better in contests..."
  2302.  
  2303. May looks at you, at the Pokemon, and then at the rest of the crowd, ".....Fine...But I'm on top. No ifs, ands, or birthday buts."
  2304.  
  2305. You nod in agreement, and then try to initiate that kiss everyone's expecting, but May just forces it to get it over with, notable blush on her face.
  2306.  
  2307. And everything was good, as declared by the cheering crowd.
  2308.  
  2309. O-OH YEAH, and uh, Wally was later resurrected as Wall-E.
  2310.  
  2311. O-OH AND, UH, AND ALSO, you and May got a Plusle and Minun and then they helped you earn five ribbons because Pikachu mascots are cute and those earn super-appeal. Ain't that
  2312.  
  2313. some behind-the-scenes shit?
  2314.  
  2315. Let's also not forget that the two's first date was....Spoink truffle huntin'. 'Nuff said.
  2316.  
  2317. >Segment .3 end [good]
  2318. -----------------------------------------------------------------------
  2319. >Segment .4 - Der Inflatable Fuhrer - Sinnoh - Lucas
  2320.  
  2321. Once again, the process restarts. Just as ass is gained in one way or another, be it by positive or negativity, it all stops to a grinding halt.
  2322.  
  2323. Your spirit is forcefully thrust out of one boy, and thrown into another. It's almost like you're following a pattern. A pattern of sorts.
  2324.  
  2325. With each boy you inter-link with and assist with getting the rump of their dreams, the boys tend to get dorkier and dorkier.
  2326.  
  2327. One can only fear what sorta dork you'll get no-
  2328.  
  2329. OH HOLY HELL.
  2330.  
  2331. Your spirit has found its newest contact.
  2332.  
  2333. It takes a while for it to kick up. Even longer because his spirit is so dorky that it doesn't understand the point of syncrhoniz-
  2334.  
  2335. Nevermind. It just understood.
  2336.  
  2337. I'm so sorry, anon.
  2338.  
  2339. You are now Lucas, the dorky little pseudo-cool guy from Twinleaf Town. You are a dork because just like the boy from before who got usurped by Steven Stone and in turn usurped by
  2340.  
  2341. SCANDALOUS Wallace, you are not the champion of the Sinnoh region. That loss is due to, wait for it..
  2342.  
  2343. A woman.
  2344.  
  2345. A woman owns the title of champion instead of you.
  2346.  
  2347. That's harsh bro.
  2348.  
  2349. It's just that to you, adventuring throughout this tedious region is too long and boring. The last time the problem was that there was too much water, NOW THERE'S TOO MUCH
  2350.  
  2351. LAND! All those other guys you never heard of finished their journeys, or at least some. At least that third fellow made it like halfway before switching elsewhere.
  2352.  
  2353. Damn, Team Galactic is going to be damn well pleased when they find that no hero is coming to stop them.
  2354.  
  2355. What's the point anyways? Everyone overlooks you anyhow. Since when does anyone say, "HEY! REMEMBER LUCAS?"
  2356.  
  2357. No one does. It's always....it's always.....who is it always?
  2358.  
  2359. You turn to Turtwig and Pachirisu, your starter Pokemon and first caught wild Pokemon respectively, "Where did I ever go wrong in life, guys? I always wanted to be a trainer as a little
  2360.  
  2361. kid, but now that I'm of age, I never even managed to step out of anywhere past Sandgem Town. Man, I really am a failure..."
  2362.  
  2363. "Turt...turtwig..." says Turtwig as he nuzzles your face.
  2364.  
  2365. "Pachi, pachirisu.." Pachirisu joins in as well.
  2366.  
  2367. It's not all bad though. You're one thing.
  2368.  
  2369. You're one of the many assistants to Professor Rowan, the professor of the Sinnoh region! He's the whole reason why you have Turtwig in the first place. He was generous enough to
  2370.  
  2371. give some of his workers starter Pokemon even though they had no plans of venturing out of town. God, what a glorious man he is.
  2372.  
  2373. You stand up and brush the grass bits off your pants, "Well....No us crying anymore. Nobody bothers to listen anyhow."
  2374.  
  2375. >Head where?
  2376. A) You's got a heavy shift on your hands, mister. To Professor Rowan's laboratory!
  2377. B) Go see your super duper best friend forever, Barry! (Because every guy has one, duh.)
  2378.  
  2379. Turtwig and Pachirisu make themselves comfortable on your head as you leave Sandgem to head back to Twinleaf, maybe Barry has something cool to do..
  2380.  
  2381. After all, B is for Barry.
  2382.  
  2383. The loud-mouth boy in question is currently teaching his Chimchar to bust a set of bricks. He chose the little fiery monkey from Professor Rowan because he appreciated the fact that
  2384.  
  2385. it would soon evolve into a fiery-punching demon.
  2386.  
  2387. Also because monkeys are spastic and that like...that like can only fit Barry so we're going to go with that one.
  2388.  
  2389. Unlike you, Barry is actually going out on an adventure, he'll sometimes ask you to trudge along so that the two of you can stop Team Galactic or whatever, but you always turn him
  2390.  
  2391. down because i-it's just 2spooky4u!
  2392.  
  2393. "GO. GO. GO. GO. GO. YOU CAN DO THIS MAN, YOU CAN DO IT, CHOKE IT!"
  2394.  
  2395. Flapjac- erm...uh, Barry, continues to order Chimchar to chop the stack of bricks. How else is Chimchar going to prepare to evolve into a firefighter if he doesn't start CHOPPIN'
  2396.  
  2397. SOME BRICKS HOLMES?
  2398.  
  2399. You walk up to him. Barry's a great friend and all, but sometimes you wonder if he's only your friend because you're the only kid around Twinleaf that's of ambiguous teenage age.
  2400.  
  2401. Regardless of what Barry thinks, he seems to show appreciation for you, so that must mean it counts for something, right?
  2402.  
  2403. Barry stops shouting once he sees you, "OH! Hey Lucas! Came to spar with me, HA! I KNEW IT! WELL YOU'RE LATE! NOW PAY UP AND GIVE ME A FINE!"
  2404.  
  2405. Your depression is uplifted almost instantly and replaced with shock, your two Pokebuddies imitate the action, "W-What?! A fine? B-But Barry, I don't have any money!"
  2406.  
  2407. Barry smirks, he crosses his arms, as does Chimchar, "Well THAT'S your problem! When you're meeting with Berry-Barry, you're NEVER late! But you are, therefore I'm not letting
  2408.  
  2409. you leave till you pay up ONE MILLION DOLLARY-DO'S!"
  2410.  
  2411. "Ugh...Well I do have some time before work, but I don't know, what did you have in mind?" unaware of your actual lateness, you press Barry for more deets.
  2412.  
  2413. Barry wraps a bro-arm around you, squishing his cheek against yours. He whispers, "Well bro-ham, ever heard of a little something called: FUN?"
  2414.  
  2415. You cock an eyebrow, "I..uh...may have heard of the term while in my studies..."
  2416.  
  2417. Barry lets go of your shoulders and starts laughing, "HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD....Lucas, Lucas brohombre, you're such a nerd! We need to have some fun to get you a little
  2418.  
  2419. sunshine, maybe even a tan too, you're more pale than my grandma! Come on!"
  2420.  
  2421. "W-Well, I don't know..."
  2422.  
  2423. >Have super duper fun with Barry?
  2424. A) This time B isn't for Barry, but it still means going to have fun with him.
  2425. B) "B-BUT I'M LATE FOR WORK!"
  2426.  
  2427. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxhoGTq_Sms
  2428.  
  2429. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2430. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2431. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2432. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2433.  
  2434. You decide to hang out with your super duper best friend forever, Berry-Barry!
  2435.  
  2436. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2437. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LAAAA!~
  2438.  
  2439. Besides you have tons of time, your shift doesn't start in FOREVER!
  2440.  
  2441. >ONE BANANA, TWO BANANAS, THREE BANANAS, FOUR,~
  2442. >FOUR BANANAS MAKE A BUNCH AND SO DO MANY MORE!~
  2443. >OVER HILLS AND HIGHWAY THE BANANA BUGGIES GO,~
  2444. >COMING ON TO BRING YOU THE BANANA SPLITS SHOW!~
  2445.  
  2446. For a whole hour, you forget all about your depression about being virtually non-existent in the meta-world.
  2447.  
  2448. >MAKIN' UP A MESS OF FUN!~
  2449. >MAKIN' UP A MESS OF FUN!~
  2450. >LOTS OF FUN FOR EVERYONE!~
  2451.  
  2452. In that lone hour, you remember that sometimes life is fun, and with Barry, it's guaranteed fun. OCD fun, but still fun.
  2453.  
  2454. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2455. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2456. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2457. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LAAAA!~
  2458.  
  2459. The two of you go everywhere, you cause young boy mischief, pranks, tricks, even go to some random amusement park.
  2460.  
  2461. >FOUR BANANAS, THREE BANANAS, TWO BANANAS, ONE,
  2462. >ALL BANANAS PLAYING IN THE BRIGHT WARM SUN!~
  2463. >FLIPPING LIKE A PANCAKE, POPPING LIKE A CORK,
  2464. >FLEAGLE, BINGO, DROOPPER AND SNORK!~
  2465.  
  2466. Best part though? Fucking go-karts with your best friend, the employees were even bro-enough to let the Pokemon pilot a vehicle!
  2467.  
  2468. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2469. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2470. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!~
  2471. >TRA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LAAAA!~
  2472.  
  2473. But then it hits you like a fucking brick in the face, and it happens while you and Barry are on the "The Iron Penetration" rollercoaster.
  2474.  
  2475. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1aDlN6TJ6w
  2476.  
  2477. "OH GOOBER I MISSED MY SHIFT MORE THAN AN HOUR AGO!"
  2478. ---------------------------------------------
  2479. By the time you finally get to Professor Rowan's lab, you're so late that it's not even funny.
  2480.  
  2481. All of the employees are already at work, doing whatever they've been scheduled to do, "Oh geez oh geez oh geeeeez..." you mumble.
  2482.  
  2483. You quickly remove your jacket, placing it on a jacket hook. You then put on a lab coat, ready to start the day!.....Extremely late.
  2484.  
  2485. You try to just shuffle on by, just pretend that you've been here the whole time, but it doesn't work. You're easily caught by someone, and it's not just one of your co-workers. It's much
  2486.  
  2487. worse.
  2488.  
  2489. It's Professor Rowan.
  2490.  
  2491. "O-Oh! M-Mr. Rowan sir, u-um, h-how are you doi-"
  2492.  
  2493. Why do you have to work for the most intimidating Professor there is?
  2494.  
  2495. "Lucas. I see you've finally decided to show off. Harummph. I don't suppose you have any excuse for your absolutely unacceptable tardiness, do you?"
  2496.  
  2497. >Give Rowan what excuse?
  2498.  
  2499. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kSU2B3FNi8
  2500. You could tell Professor Rowan a ton of things. Like how your non-existent Snubbull ate your homework, or how you failed to catch a Bidoof for research, how the demons next door
  2501.  
  2502. were keeping you up again, waiting for you to acquire a maiden so that they could strike and cause supernatural terror, or even how the screams next door were loud last night.
  2503.  
  2504. But... You can't do it. It's just not in you to lie. Maybe for Barry but definitely not you.
  2505.  
  2506. "I...I'm sorry I'm late sir. I was out exploring with my best friend and completely lost track of time. It's just that I've been sad lately and I don't know...I needed a reminder that I'm alive
  2507.  
  2508. and stuff. I know it's not an excuse and I'll definitely stay late tonight if I have to, again I'm really sorry and will try not to let it happen again. I appreciate the opportunity you have given
  2509.  
  2510. me working for you, and ask that you understand my situation, but I'll accept any punishment you have in mind anyhow .." you confess with a bow.
  2511.  
  2512. Rowan cocks an eyebrow, "Huh? Oh Lucas, I'm not mad at you. I can understand where you're coming from. I was actually more concerned because I was fearing you weren't going to
  2513.  
  2514. come today. You see, I have a new project ready for you to undertake, one that takes place outside of Sandgem Town, and I've been observing your work today..."
  2515.  
  2516. Rowan walks over to a table with three of the Sinnoh starters on it. Turtwig and Pachirisu hop off of you to go play with the three of them. Rowan pets the Piplup, causing it to giggle
  2517.  
  2518. with glee.
  2519.  
  2520. "I believe you, my boy, have the most potential for this project, and if you agree, I will sign you up immediately."
  2521.  
  2522. You gasp, "W-Wha, REALLY?!"
  2523.  
  2524. "Indeed. Your work recently has been tremendous, if you continue to pull your meddle, I'm sure you'll do commendably on this project, again, should you choose to accept it."
  2525.  
  2526. You're bursting into treats right now, "I-I will! Thank you sir! Thank you, this is JUST what I've needed!"
  2527.  
  2528. Rowan smiles, "Good then. Please come see me in my office when you're ready to proceed with the mission then, I warn you that it is quite dangerous. So please consider your safety
  2529.  
  2530. while you're going about your normal duties today. Thank you."
  2531.  
  2532. "T-Thank you sir!"
  2533.  
  2534. Rowan leaves the main laboratory to head to his office, a suitcase in tow.
  2535.  
  2536. "Woah...A mission....I've never had one of those before Turtwig, Pachirisu, I...I've never been out past Sandgem either...Oh boy.."
  2537.  
  2538. >Kill time!
  2539. A) Talk around with the people and complete duties in Main Laboratory A.
  2540. B) Head to Sub-Lab B and talk to the people there.
  2541. B) Go see Rowan in Office C!
  2542.  
  2543. You decide not to dawdle around any longer, Professor Rowan needs your assistance, you shouldn't waste anymore time.
  2544.  
  2545. Quickly, you head to his office.
  2546.  
  2547. However, you make sure to take one last peek at the lonely girl. You happen to stare at her for quite a while, since she isn't doing much anything but looking down while hugging herself,
  2548.  
  2549. she doesn't even catch you spying on her.
  2550.  
  2551. She seems sad, even if she doesn't really show it.
  2552. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  2553. "Ah, Lucas. Thank you for coming. I hoped you spent your time wisely, gearing up for the trouble bound to come and whatnot." Rowan stops looking out his window, he sits down, and
  2554.  
  2555. goes back to eating the deviled eggs he was munching on.
  2556.  
  2557. "Uh, sir, what are you...?"
  2558.  
  2559. "Hm? These? Oh, just...just a small gift from the missus... Easter coming and going and whatnot."
  2560.  
  2561. "I see. Sir, um, what is it that you wanted me for? Like what mission do you want me to go on exactly?"
  2562.  
  2563. Rowan gets up and looks back out the window, "Come, Lucas."
  2564.  
  2565. You follow him to the window, where he puts to a generic, dark area that really puts a deep contrast when compared to the rest of Sinnoh. It's polluted by storm clouds too, "Lucas. I'm
  2566.  
  2567. afraid that Sinnoh is in peril, and risks a World War unless you complete the task I'm about to give to you. That is Fort Loonatic. Known in native tongue as "Furt Ballonssinge"."
  2568.  
  2569. "O-Oh...U-Um, what is it that you want me to do?"
  2570.  
  2571. Rowan shakes his head, "No, my boy. Not just you. I have assigned you with a new recruit to the team, the name we gave her in the laboratory is Dawndere, however, I usually call her
  2572.  
  2573. "Dawn" for short."
  2574.  
  2575. Dawn..? That's...that's a nice name.
  2576.  
  2577. "Dawn... Mr. Rowan-"
  2578.  
  2579. "'Rowan' is just fine, Lucas."
  2580.  
  2581. "E-Erm, uh, Rowan, I believe I saw this Dawn girl earlier. Um, I don't mean to be rude, she's very nice-looking but....Why was she....blank? For the few moments that I looked at her, she
  2582.  
  2583. didn't make a sound, nor moved a muscle, she just sat in the corner and did...virtually nothing. Is she sad? I wouldn't want to have that on my conscience i-if I'm going to be working
  2584.  
  2585. alongside her.."
  2586.  
  2587. Rowan looks at you, then out the window at Furt Ballonssinge, "Lucas, my boy. Dawn is not like other girls...she...has no parents, per say. She does, but they're unlike say, yours or mine.
  2588.  
  2589. Her parents are...the team."
  2590.  
  2591. "Wait, so you mean that Dawn is-"
  2592.  
  2593. "Yes."
  2594.  
  2595. "Oh..."
  2596.  
  2597. "She does not have much of a personality, thus explaining why she rarely does anything. We gave her a Piplup so that she may interact with it and hopefully gain a character, but we
  2598.  
  2599. haven't been seeing results. She only does what she is commanded to do, when to do it, and without reason. That is her only purpose at this time."
  2600.  
  2601. You frown, "That sounds awful...II wish they could have done something to her to make her smile. She really looks like she needs one.."
  2602.  
  2603. Rowan begins scratching his chin, "Well Lucas, Dawn -does- have the ability of picking up traits from the people around her and adding it to her own character structure. I do hope that
  2604.  
  2605. whatever emotions you demonstrate at the Furt, she'll pick up on. I too, am quite disappointed with her soulless, robotic behavior. But to each their own, beggers cannot be choosers."
  2606.  
  2607. You sigh, "Oh...I see, Mr."
  2608.  
  2609. A) Ask about the origin of Furt Ballonssinge. When did it first appear? Why is it here?
  2610. B) Ask about the mission's details. Exactly -what- are you doing again?
  2611. C) Ask for specific details on the creator of Furt Ballonssinge.
  2612. D) Ask for more about Dawn.
  2613.  
  2614. "Well um, Mr. Rowan, I have to know, what exactly do you want me to do on this mission anyways?"
  2615.  
  2616. Professor Rowan stops scratching his beard, he points to Furt Ballonssinge, "Lucas, I have a special secret weapon developed alongside Dawn that is one of her specialties. I want you
  2617.  
  2618. to assist her in using it."
  2619.  
  2620. "Wow, really!?"
  2621.  
  2622. "Yes. Unfortunately, you cannot immediately. For Furt Ballonssinge is guarded with the highest security known to man, and I want you to infiltrate it with the most precise precision.
  2623.  
  2624. You'll need to de-activate a generator from within the dungeon of the Furt, afterwards, the force-field that prevents all direct attacks from harming the base will go down, I'll then send
  2625.  
  2626. the secret weapon to you two, and hopefully, you'll be able to use it to take down the entire place."
  2627.  
  2628. You stammer, "W-WHAT?! T-Take down the entire fort, a-all by myself!?"
  2629.  
  2630. "No. You shall be assisted by Dawn. However, the two of you shall both need disguises so that neither of you will be spotted as scientists from the laboratory, thus, I have prepared
  2631.  
  2632. something for the two of you."
  2633.  
  2634. The professor takes out two Buneary cottontails, and two pairs of Buneary ears.
  2635.  
  2636. "The Balloonazis have a liking for Bunearys, I'm going to need you and Dawn to masquerade as them while sneaking around the Furt grounds to throw suspicion off of you. The
  2637.  
  2638. forcefield prevents damage, but does not prevent intruders due to soldier lack of base intelligence. Do you understand what I'm saying, Lucas?"
  2639.  
  2640. "U-Uh, yes sir. I do."
  2641.  
  2642. "Right. Shall we go see the secret weapon, or is there anymore information you *necessarily* need to know right now."
  2643.  
  2644. A) Ask about the leader of the "Balloonazis".
  2645. B) Ask about the organization of Balloonazis themselves, WHAT are they?
  2646. C) Ask for more about Dawn.
  2647. D) Head to the secret underground laboratory to see the secret weapon.
  2648.  
  2649. While thinking of what else to ask or tell the professor, you take the bunny disguises from him.
  2650.  
  2651. "Erm, but professor, why Buneary disguises exactly? Aside from the fact that these, balloon guys, like them?"
  2652.  
  2653. Rowan chews up another one of those deviled eggs, swallowing it quickly, "An Easter coincidence, my boy, we have to pay tribute after all. Plus, it's also April Fools, and I find it funny
  2654.  
  2655. when young children like you are forced into humorous costumes. I suppose you could say I'm holiday double-dipping."
  2656.  
  2657. He stifles a chuckle.
  2658.  
  2659. "Uh, I do have one more thing to ask Rowan, erm, do you happen to know what these "Balloonazis" -are- exactly?"
  2660.  
  2661. Professor Rowan sighs, "Ahh, yes. All too well even. See Lucas, the Balloonazis are a team of relentless neo-nazis hellbent on taking over the world. These neo-nazis in reality, are the
  2662.  
  2663. spirits of the original nazis from years past, just with their spirits now resting within ghostly Drifloons. Or so I've heard. Furthermore, they have banded together in a reunion most
  2664.  
  2665. deadly, and plan on consuming the souls of the innocent. Sinnoh was their first target in a scale-plan to get revenge against the Pokemon world, and I fear if we do not strike their only
  2666.  
  2667. base while it is still operational, we may risk letting something so small turn into something so big. You and Dawn are the only workers here small enough to be undetected by most of
  2668.  
  2669. their security, which is partly why you've been given the assignment."
  2670.  
  2671. "I see...Well, I guess I'll do my best then sir!"
  2672.  
  2673. "I'll see to it that you disband the army before sunrise tomorrow morning. Now, is that all you wish to ask, I do not have time for us to dawdle around."
  2674.  
  2675. "Yes sir, I'm...I-I'm ready."
  2676.  
  2677. "Then come along."
  2678.  
  2679. >>11840258
  2680. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  2681. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8bG0E0KceA
  2682.  
  2683. "This, Lucas, is S.I.N.N.E.R."
  2684.  
  2685. Having been escorted to the secret underground floor of the laboratory, Professor Rowan shows you the secret weapon he's been talking so much about.
  2686.  
  2687. The S.I.N.N.E.R, a giant mechanical robot who's purpose is to defend the Sinnoh region of harm, and cause harm to defeat anything that may be seen as a threat. Professor Rowan
  2688.  
  2689. smiles at the giant mecha, while you just stand there, dumbstruck in awe.
  2690.  
  2691. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PILOT THIS!?
  2692.  
  2693. "I know I know, it seems a tad much. But Dawn will assist in piloting the mecha, she happens to know how to use the device. She's had a few test rounds with it and has proven to be quite
  2694.  
  2695. good in the sport. That said, S.I.N.N.E.R stands for "Synchronized Inner Neo-Network Enormous Roundhouser", which basically means that it is a mecha who's strength increases
  2696.  
  2697. depending on how many people are piloting it. I deduced via long and unnecessary equations that two pilots should just be enough to take down Furt Ballonssinge."
  2698.  
  2699. "Uh...But how do I control it?"
  2700.  
  2701. Professor Rowan knocks his fist on the mecha, "That's another thing. The mecha not only runs on manual controls, but its power is also determined by how strong the pilot's emotions
  2702.  
  2703. are, it's quite a gimmicky ability, but I thought it would be interesting, so I inserted it in. With Dawn we have been getting sub-standard results with this, we've been hoping that you
  2704.  
  2705. would do better."
  2706.  
  2707. Professor Rowan turns to you, "Now, if you're ready, I'll send someone to go get Dawn, and you'll both depart for Furt Ballonssinge, affirmative?"
  2708.  
  2709. A) "Affirmative."
  2710. B) Volunteer to go get Dawn.
  2711.  
  2712. ---------------------------------------------
  2713. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwStPBI2HCI
  2714. Rowan could see that you had some sort of "affection" for Dawn, and that it's not at all hard to tell. Of course, that's not what you think, you're just curious about her, maybe even
  2715.  
  2716. concerned because she doesn't act at all like a normal girl.
  2717.  
  2718. It'd be kinda neat if you were the one to teach her all those traits Rowan said she could "absorb".
  2719.  
  2720. Since she erm, doesn't have any "real" parents, she has no purpose being anywhere outside the lab unless stated to, thus, that is where she almost always stays unless ordered otherwise.
  2721.  
  2722. She even has her own little room up here, and that is where you are now, waiting for her to come out so that you can tell her about the mission.
  2723.  
  2724. However, she doesn't show up, or is at least taking her damn time really swell.
  2725.  
  2726. A) Keep waiting for Dawn.
  2727. B) Go inside her room.
  2728.  
  2729. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FJLKm_pftM
  2730.  
  2731. You decide that courteousness is the only way to serve as a good role model to Dawn. So you knock on her door, just to make sure if she's ready or not, it'd be much too rude to just
  2732.  
  2733. waltz on in.
  2734.  
  2735. However, after knocking on her door repeatedly with intervals in between, Dawn does not show up, you start to get worried.
  2736.  
  2737. Did something happen?
  2738.  
  2739. Now more concerned than ever, you give one more knock, to which you receive not a single response. In the end, you try the doorknob.
  2740.  
  2741. It's open.
  2742.  
  2743. Her room is stylized much like a small apartment, with its own kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom, just not in favor of any claustrophobics.
  2744.  
  2745. You look around the living room, she doesn't appear to be here at all. Where is she?
  2746.  
  2747. A) Investigate the living room.
  2748. B) Head to the kitchen.
  2749. C) Head to Dawn's room.
  2750.  
  2751. You decide to head to Dawn's room, which is quite empty. The room doesn't have an "identity" pertaining to it, and all of the furniture is very basic.
  2752.  
  2753. Then again, so is the rest of her place, so gloomy, so droopy. Was this place always like this? Even before Dawn was placed in here?
  2754.  
  2755. Dawn isn't in her room either, which just raises more worry for you, where in the heck is she?
  2756.  
  2757. Perhaps there's a clue to her location in here!
  2758.  
  2759. A) Check her closet.
  2760. B) Check her drawers.
  2761. C) Check her bed.
  2762.  
  2763. You decide to look in Dawn's drawers for anything of interest that could help you find her. Calling her name doesn't help, perhaps she didn't hear you, or just didn't come to you because
  2764.  
  2765. she isn't familiar with your voice?
  2766.  
  2767. Regardless, her whereabouts are now your concern and it is your duty as a scientist to find her.
  2768.  
  2769. As you rummage through the drawer, you find nothing but bras and panties. None of which are sexual or lewd enough to catch your interest, she really -is- a bore. But that isn't
  2770.  
  2771. necessarily a bad thing.
  2772.  
  2773. If anything, she could probably absorb your dorkiness and then become a cute girl dork, guys these days are into that, aren't they? Or is it hipster girls? You can't tell either way, all these
  2774.  
  2775. trends are passing way too fast.
  2776.  
  2777. A dorky friend doesn't seem too bad though...
  2778.  
  2779. You close the drawer, and you're about to leave, when you notice something significant atop the drawer.
  2780.  
  2781. A case, and....glasses.
  2782.  
  2783. "Huh? you pick up the case, being careful not to drop the glasses inside. That's odd, you didn't see her wearing these earlier, are they hers? Is she supposed to wear them but just
  2784.  
  2785. chooses not to? Does she not wear them because she isn't ordered to?
  2786.  
  2787. Does she even know what they are?
  2788.  
  2789. As you ask yourself all these questions, you don't hear the sound of the bathroom door opening, neither the petite footsteps heading in your direction.
  2790.  
  2791. In fact, by the time that you do realize that something's amiss, Dawn has already made her way to her room. Naked and wet from the shower she just took. Quietly, she dries herself for
  2792.  
  2793. a few moments, her next actions having to do with you, the mysterious visitor in her room, peeking at her stuff.
  2794.  
  2795. You hear her.
  2796.  
  2797. You turn around.
  2798.  
  2799. And you see her in front of you.
  2800.  
  2801. Bare.
  2802.  
  2803. You instantly cover your eyes out of respect.
  2804.  
  2805. "AAAAHHH! D-D-D-D-Dawn! I-uh, I, erm, I-I'm sorry! I w-was looking at you- I MEAN I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! B-but I guess I got sidetracked! Heh...heheh! I didn't peek at you-
  2806.  
  2807. YOUR THINGS, your things for long honest! I-I was sent here on orders!"
  2808.  
  2809. Dawn does not respond to you, nor offers any emotional acknowledgement. Quite forcefully, she takes the case and the glasses from you, placing them back on the drawer.
  2810.  
  2811. Dawn stares at you, her blank look coming off to you as a silent gesture to "go away" or something.
  2812.  
  2813. Blushing so hard that it's not even obvious, you try to get out of her way, but you accidentally trip out of typical dork clumsiness, "AAAAH!"
  2814.  
  2815. You grab onto Dawn by instincts, she is taken off-guard for a few moments, but no more than that. Unfortunately, your weight is too much for her small frame, causing the two of you to
  2816.  
  2817. fall to the floor.
  2818.  
  2819. Not only are you now on top of her, but your hand is also cupping one of her breasts.
  2820.  
  2821. You just can't get more scandalous than this.
  2822.  
  2823. Frozen.
  2824.  
  2825. Speechless.
  2826.  
  2827. You just don't know what to say or do, you nervously stare at her, waiting for some sort of response. ANY SORT OF RESPONSE! But her face continues to be blank. She is not mad.
  2828.  
  2829. She is not surprised. She isn't even embarrassed.
  2830.  
  2831. Her first words to you come mere seconds later, and they're extremely blunt.
  2832.  
  2833. "Can you get off of me?"
  2834.  
  2835. >What does Lucas do next?!
  2836.  
  2837. You need just a few more seconds here. Not to s-stare at her more, but just to t-take in the situation! Everything's happened so fast, and now her first impression of you is to be some
  2838.  
  2839. dirty pervert who wants to have at her luscious breasts.
  2840.  
  2841. Speaking of which.
  2842.  
  2843. After taking everything in account, you slowly slide off of her, offering her her towel to cover up with. She quickly takes it, says nothing more, and resumes with putting her clothes
  2844.  
  2845. back on, one by one.
  2846.  
  2847. You look at the ground to savor her privacy.
  2848.  
  2849. "U-Um, again I-I'm sorry Dawn! I'm so-so sorry, so we can just forget that little incident happened, we can move on with the day! U-uh, oh god..w-what was I even here for!?"
  2850.  
  2851. The answer strikes you just then.
  2852.  
  2853. "THAT'S IT! T-The mission, the mission! Professor Rowan has a mission for you and I complete and he wants you in his office, ASA-"
  2854.  
  2855. The sound of the door shutting snaps you out of your speech.
  2856.  
  2857. In the midst of your rambling, Dawn dressed up, and just left without even hearing you finish your explanation.
  2858.  
  2859. She's gone.
  2860.  
  2861. ".....P?"
  2862.  
  2863. That...didn't go too well..
  2864.  
  2865. >MEANWHILE
  2866. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12ZaTYvDSnM
  2867. >FORT BALLONSSINGE -PROBOCAUST DEATH COUNT: "More than the number of fingers you have on your hand".
  2868.  
  2869. Malevolent dictator and supreme ruler of the Balloonazis, Drifler, enters the dungeon laboratory within his fortress, performing his daily check-up on their progress.
  2870.  
  2871. All of the humanoid scientists are blank and focus only on their current projects, which is just constructing more and more of the same thing, in a never-ending assembly line. The
  2872.  
  2873. exact project is unknown, and nobody but the Balloonazis themselves seem to know what it is.
  2874.  
  2875. Drifler floats over to one of the scientists, the only one in the bunch who seems to be capable of speech while on the job, "HEIL DRIFLER!" he salutes. To which his comrades respond
  2876.  
  2877. with a silent salute of their own.
  2878.  
  2879. "Ein, are you finished with 'zah latest batch?" asks the dictator.
  2880.  
  2881. Dr. Ein shakes his head, "No, my lord. We are close, but we're running slow on man-power due to the conditions of the work environment. The land, Fuhrer, she gives us nothing!"
  2882.  
  2883. Drifler slaps him harshly, "Irrelevant! I expect 'zah new batch this evening, OR GAS CHAMBER FOR EVERYONE!"
  2884.  
  2885. The other scientists show no reaction.
  2886.  
  2887. Dr. Ein is visibly disturbed, but in the end goes back to working.
  2888.  
  2889. With that, Drifler exits the laboratory and begins patrolling the streets. Day by day, his fort slowly grows into a city, a miraculous city dedicated to the neo-nazi German masterrace,
  2890.  
  2891. which will now have its second chance in uplifting the world from its dirty Probopass-routes and replace it with something much more acceptable.
  2892.  
  2893. Drifloons with Nazi hats and swastika mouths patrol the streets constantly, attacking anyone and anything that dares to go against the Fuhrer, what the Fuhrer believes in, or doing
  2894.  
  2895. anything that might be seen as obscene, obnoxious, socially correct in this day and age, or basically anything that supports the ideology of the Probopasses.
  2896.  
  2897. These Drifloons model themselves after the Fuhrer, but one difference sets the two apart. The Drifloon Balloonazis tend to keep a straight face on their mugs, much like the royal
  2898.  
  2899. guards in London, they don't care about anything so as long as they get paid for it.
  2900.  
  2901. "Pretending" to march down the streets with thin strings, and when not that, a flashlight-shotgun hybrid in one string, a constant heil with the other.
  2902.  
  2903. Drifler patrols the streets with his legions of super-balloomans until he reaches his personal headquarters. Finding it too tiresome to go inside and take the stairs, he simply levitates to
  2904.  
  2905. the HQ's highest tower.
  2906.  
  2907. Within there is a globe.
  2908.  
  2909. "First, 'zah stupid, pathetic, linear, and BORING Sinnoh region, NEXT, 'ZAH WORLD! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- That includes spin-off regions too."
  2910.  
  2911. Drifler stops talking to himself and floats over to the edge of the tower, "REPORT!"
  2912.  
  2913. Instantly, a majority of the legion flocks over, "HEIL DRIFLER!"
  2914.  
  2915. "I want guards patrolling the entrance tonight! I fear we may have un KIT KAT in the PEANUT BUTTER today. HEIL!"
  2916.  
  2917. "HEIL DRIFLER!"
  2918.  
  2919. The Balloonazis spread out to quickly adhere to his commands.
  2920.  
  2921. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
  2922. >BACKWHILE
  2923. You eventually caught up with Dawn at Rowan's office, but by the time you did, she was already fully-briefed on the mission specs.
  2924.  
  2925. Rowan had assumed you did a "perfect" job, and commended you for escorting her with success. Dawn found no fault with his words, and chose not to point anything out, nor did she
  2926.  
  2927. bring up the incident in her room.
  2928.  
  2929. And so, you and Dawn were assigned to Furt Ballonssinge for reconnaissance and generator de-activation. Once the disguises were put on, the two of you began the trip. Which was
  2930.  
  2931. awkward and silent as all hell.
  2932.  
  2933. Admittedly, she looks rather cute with Buneary ears on, but that's not something you're going to let slip out anytime soon.
  2934.  
  2935. In order to prevent suspicion, your Turtwig, Pachirisu, and Dawn's Piplup were left back at the laboratory to instead check on your progress frequently from a safe distance. Now, back
  2936.  
  2937. to basics. All you have to do is sneak in and de-activate a generator, which shouldn't be too hard a task to accomplish, right?
  2938.  
  2939. It starts to get late once the Furt is in viewpoint. You and Dawn hide behind a nearby rock and investigate on the people outside. Drifloons as blank as Dawn herself patrol the area in a
  2940.  
  2941. predictable yet hard to break pattern, with flashlight-shotguns and a framed picture of the Fuhrer for good luck on their watch. Only two aren't following this pattern though, and that's
  2942.  
  2943. because one stands watch in front of a sewer gate, while the other stands watch in front of an out-of-place brick.
  2944.  
  2945. Rowan said those balloons are fond of Bunearys, but they're can't be that dumb enough to be fooled by such simple disguises. Besides, even if it does work, they're not just going to let
  2946.  
  2947. one mosey on into the Furt grounds, are they?
  2948.  
  2949. Stumped as all hell, you turn to Dawn, who is observing the Furt grounds only because you are, "Um.. Dawn? Again, sorry about earlier, b-but....Do you have any ideas?"
  2950.  
  2951. She shakes her head.
  2952.  
  2953. >What does Lucas do to bypass the guards?
  2954.  
  2955. You turn to Dawn.
  2956.  
  2957. "Uh Dawn, do you know what a pose is?"
  2958.  
  2959. The girl nods, "Yes. Pose - A particular way of standing or sitting, usually adopted for effect or in order to be photographed, painted, or drawn. Why did you want me to recite this,
  2960.  
  2961. *Commander Lucas*?"
  2962.  
  2963. You blush over the sudden title she has given to you, "Uh, I was just wondering because, well, I had an idea and I was thinking if you wanted to help me out...?"
  2964.  
  2965. "Commander Lucas, I am on a mission instructed to me by Father, I am obligated by my duty to assist you in any way I possibly can, even if I do not want to. Currently, my opinions on
  2966.  
  2967. you are mixed, but regardless, my thoughts are irrelevant. I assume by what you have asked me that you wish for me to pose. Is that what you want me to do, Commander Lucas?"
  2968.  
  2969. You nod, "U-Uh, if you can. Just try to pose in a heroic manner, if you want, we'll do it together, i-if that's okay with you."
  2970.  
  2971. "It will give me more incentive to do it, Commander Lucas."
  2972.  
  2973. "Then, uh, follow me."
  2974.  
  2975. "Affirmative."
  2976.  
  2977. You and Dawn head over to the guards. Before they have time to shoot, you and her strike generic shounens poses in order to divert their focus. Dawn seems thoroughly confident in
  2978.  
  2979. herself as she pulls off the task.
  2980.  
  2981. The moves somehow get the patrolling Balloonazis into a discussion concerning typical shounen anime, which soon turns into a recipe for disaster, as all of the balloons begin arguing
  2982.  
  2983. over which shounen is better, ultimately distracting them from the two of you.
  2984.  
  2985. "Quick, now's our chance!" you say.
  2986.  
  2987. A) Head past the front gate.
  2988. B) Head to the out-of-place brick.
  2989. C) Head into the sewer gate.
  2990.  
  2991. You decide to head through the front gate while the Balloonazis are too busy being stupid and discussing what shit animes are better than the other. The path is the easiest of the three,
  2992.  
  2993. but is also the most pussiest decision.
  2994.  
  2995. Dawn holds no problem with it, and soon the two of you are inside the Furt grounds, it really is starting to look more and more like a town in an apocalyptic dystopia. Now, where oh
  2996.  
  2997. where could this generator be? Since it's kind of a crucial component to the whole structure of the organization, it's bound to be hidden somewhere where no one would expect it to be.
  2998.  
  2999. A) Head to Drifler's HQ.
  3000. B) Head to Drifler's Home.
  3001. C) Head to the underground Probopass-Dungeon.
  3002.  
  3003. Furt Ballonssinge is quite possibly the gloomiest place you've ever been to, but that's not really saying a lot when you haven't been to that many places -period-. Typical black clouds
  3004.  
  3005. and infrequent rain showers that never seem to end, such is the norm for people of malevolent intent.
  3006.  
  3007. You and Dawn just had a conversation, or well, as good as one that Dawn can carry. Curious as to what her thoughts are, you decide to make small-talk while the two of you sneak down
  3008.  
  3009. the the Furt like cute little Bunearys.
  3010.  
  3011. "Uh Dawn, I'm sorry if this in any way offends you, but why do you rarely show emotion? It's not that I find it weird or whatever, I just...I think it'd be nice if you were to smile once in a
  3012.  
  3013. while."
  3014.  
  3015. Dawn stops walking.
  3016.  
  3017. "A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Emotions. Smile. A pleased, kind, or amused facial expression, typically with
  3018.  
  3019. the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed. Commander Lucas, your concern is accepted, however, I do not believe it is something you should worry about."
  3020.  
  3021. "Why not?"
  3022.  
  3023. "Emotions are not a concern of mine at this moment in time, Commander Lucas. I serve no purpose to be executing any emotions of any sort unless instructed to by my superiors,
  3024.  
  3025. which they have yet to do. I do not employ things that waste my time, and exerting feelings is one of them."
  3026.  
  3027. You scratch your head in confusion, "But Dawn...Feelings are natural. They're different depending on who you ask or talk to. I'm sure if you showed more emotions often, you would
  3028.  
  3029. probably have more fun often."
  3030.  
  3031. "'Fun' is not a current priority of mine, Commander Lucas."
  3032.  
  3033. "But it doesn't have to be, it's not really a priority of anyone's to be honest."
  3034.  
  3035. "I find it odd that you care so much about how I behave, Commander." she then says, which causes you to break into another natural nervous fit. You hold up your hands in self-defense at
  3036.  
  3037. her, your Buneary-ears flailing nonsensically.
  3038.  
  3039. "W-Wha?! I-It's not that! I'm just concerned because you kind of act like a doll?"
  3040.  
  3041. "Acting like a "doll" and getting things done is my purpose, Commander Lucas."
  3042.  
  3043. The rest of the walk is quiet.
  3044. ---------------------------------------------------------------
  3045. Drifler's house was locked when you tried the lock, but Dawn managed to recover a spare key from under the mat.
  3046.  
  3047. "Come, Commander Lucas. Our conversation must be preserved for later times. We have a mission to do."
  3048.  
  3049. "R-right..."
  3050.  
  3051. >Investigate where?
  3052. A) Drifler's basement
  3053. B) Drifler's bedroom
  3054. C) Drifler's study
  3055.  
  3056. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1YZ4wofQWk
  3057. You decide to head into Drifler's Study, which is littered in books, a majority of them titled "Mein Smogon".
  3058.  
  3059. Other than books, the walls are covered in special Nazi memorabilia from the years of old, with swastikas and all, though some items carry the more recent revision of the Nazi logo.
  3060.  
  3061. The exact same shit but with a "curly whipped cream dollop" added to it.
  3062.  
  3063. To you it just reminds you of scat.
  3064.  
  3065. Dawn taps your shoulder, "Okay Commander Lucas, I suspect we don't have much time left until the Fuhrer is to return from his headquarters. Where in here do you wish for me to
  3066.  
  3067. investigate?
  3068.  
  3069. You shake your head, "Oh no, Dawn, that's up to you. Make sure to say if you find anything interesting."
  3070.  
  3071. Dawn nods, "Affirmative."
  3072.  
  3073. Dawn takes one side of the room while you take the other. Hopefully splitting up will be able to cover more ground than usual. Your investigation starts out smoothly, but one thing
  3074.  
  3075. begins to prod at your mind.
  3076.  
  3077. The constant memorabilia this Drifler fellow has put up. Sure, it's nice to embrace your organization, especially if you're the leader, but all of it is covering the walls that aren't already
  3078.  
  3079. blocked up by bookcases, doesn't it make things a tad suspicious?
  3080.  
  3081. "Curious and curiouser..." you mumble to yourself.
  3082.  
  3083. >Investigate the study until you find something! (Things investigated 1/3.)
  3084. A) Read "Mein Smogon" for clues
  3085. B) Check Drifler's desk for personal belongings.
  3086. C) Take a closer look at the book organization.
  3087. D) Take a closer look at the photos accompanying the memorabilia.
  3088. E) Check the walls.
  3089.  
  3090. You decide to check the walls in the study for anything suspicious. In order to do this, some of the memorabilia is taken down to make room for the 'ol peepers.
  3091.  
  3092. Sadly, nothing seems to be out of place, which only fuels your confusion. Why would Drifler bother covering up the walls with useless artifacts if there isn't anything under it?
  3093.  
  3094. Perhaps there's something you're not seeing here..
  3095.  
  3096. >Investigate the study until you find something! (Things investigated 2/3.)
  3097. A) Read "Mein Smogon" for clues
  3098. B) Check Drifler's desk for personal belongings.
  3099. C) Take a closer look at the book organization.
  3100. D) Take a closer look at the photos accompanying the memorabilia.
  3101.  
  3102. "Dawn, if it isn't any trouble, do you mind passing me a copy of that book over there?"
  3103.  
  3104. Dawn nods, "Work is never "any trouble" for me, Commander." she gives you the book and then returns to her own investigation, which so far has been amounting to the same results are
  3105.  
  3106. yours. The Fuhrer sure doesn't play around when it comes to hiding things.
  3107.  
  3108. As you open the book, you notice that a bookmark has been left on it by Drifler himself, is his ego so inflated that he has the gaul to read to his own book? What does he do with it?
  3109.  
  3110. Lavish it as the ideology of the millennium?
  3111.  
  3112. You turn to the page that he has left the bookmark on. Perhaps there's some sort of clue in here..
  3113.  
  3114. >MEIN SMOGON, CHAPTER 42 - "Literacy for the Damned".
  3115. >TRANSLATION OFFERED BY: Babby's First Translator
  3116.  
  3117. >Before my aides come to my attention for another stroll throughout the perfect neighborhood, there is something that I must address to, and that I feel should be known to the
  3118.  
  3119. commons of the Furt.
  3120.  
  3121. >Of all the people in the world, it is without a doubt that the most feeble, most pathetically weak people in existence are those without a shred of intelligence flowing through their
  3122.  
  3123. veins. In my eyes, I see a sight which I view frequently as I trudge down the streets. It is the Probos, with their big noses, idiotic Mr. Rock-tato Head faces, and overall cheap and
  3124.  
  3125. friendly demeanor. Such people who don't have the nerve to fight, who would rather count pennies all day then push back, is irritating for me to take in.
  3126.  
  3127. >Obvious. It is obvious that the Probos are an unintelligent species not unlike most living beings, they are the kind of self-centered, entitled, egotistical hellraisers that cause me to
  3128.  
  3129. scowl the moment I hear any of them having a jolly good time. Wherever I look, wherever I go, I see them constantly. There's just no end to their existence, so it is my goal to ensure
  3130.  
  3131. that they're all to be wiped out.
  3132.  
  3133. >Knowing that this is a difficult task, I have settled upon a simple scheme in order to slowly wipe out the Probos from existence. This task involves dealing with the biggest of a billion
  3134.  
  3135. evils as first priority. The stupidest, the weakest, most insignificant of the cretins will be the first to go, the ones that can't even read this piece of literature, let alone any one. My
  3136.  
  3137. troops, they patrol the streets, man-napping each and every single Probo they find, whether or not they do something obscene by civil means, I've grown tired of doing things the right
  3138.  
  3139. way. These retarded infidels shall be subjected to gas chambers, while their meaningless family, if any, and if on a good day, watches them from a one-way mirror from afar. The crying,
  3140.  
  3141. the tears, it'll be all worth it to forge the ultimate master racer.
  3142.  
  3143. >Stuck in this body, it's quite embarrassing. But a worthy exchange when given the context of mein situation, the Probo-Jews. If it wasn't enough that I had to come back, they did too. I
  3144.  
  3145. will not stop until they are all decimated. And I'll see to it that my cohorts receive my first letter to perform these tasks soon enough. My first letter.
  3146.  
  3147. You close the book, confusion overcoming you, "Now what's all that supposed to mean?" you ask yourself. Maybe if you re-read it again..
  3148.  
  3149. >Investigate the study until you find something! (Things investigated 3/3.)
  3150. A) Check Drifler's desk for personal belongings.
  3151. B) Take a closer look at the book organization.
  3152. C) Take a closer look at the photos accompanying the memorabilia.
  3153.  
  3154. You decide to raid Drifler's desk for anything of note, whether it be something as significant as a detailed plan to some despicable plot, or something as small as a mere tidbit of
  3155.  
  3156. personal items belonging to him. Which can be used a defense against him should this conspiracy ever reach court one day.
  3157.  
  3158. At this point. Anything. Anything leading to the generator would be much appreciated.
  3159.  
  3160. Dawn continues to look through the bookshelves while you open Drifler's desk to further your investigation.
  3161.  
  3162. Because balloons have no reproductive organs, there are no condoms available.
  3163.  
  3164. >Check out what?
  3165. A) A map of the house.
  3166. B) An old letter addressed to the Fuhrer.
  3167. C) The measly string stuck to the desk.
  3168.  
  3169. Your eyes dart over to an old letter addressed to the Fuhrer. Around the time construction of Furt Ballonssinge began. Because letters always contain saucy details and whatnot.
  3170.  
  3171. "Dawn, come here for a minute, I think I found something!"
  3172.  
  3173. She nods, and quits her investigation to group back up with you.
  3174.  
  3175. A new problem arises however. You find yourself confused as you skim over the letter, for it is not a letter discussing secret plan tactics, embarrassing secrets, or even weapons of
  3176.  
  3177. mass destruction.
  3178.  
  3179. It is in fact, a letter from his carpenter.
  3180.  
  3181. >Dear Fuhrer, HEIL!
  3182.  
  3183. >If you're reading this note I left on your desk, then viola! Work on your estate is now complete. Do not worry, Fuhrer, for I have listened to the specific details you told me when the
  3184.  
  3185. crew began work. Everything you want is in place!
  3186.  
  3187. >The area is secluded at the end of the streets to prevent pedestrian annoyance, the study is connected to the Jew work mines, I made sure for there to be two bathrooms, the basement
  3188.  
  3189. contains your "back-ups" forged by our welders, the bedroom contains the "stash", your secret altar is behind one of the bookcases, but there's a faint outline visible. Apologies Fuhrer,
  3190.  
  3191. you'll have to cover it up when decorating. Finally, I've even snuck in a hatch that leads to the mines! Real innovative, eh?
  3192.  
  3193. >You may be wondering where that hatch is now, well Fuhrer, just move the desk, eh? Keheheh!
  3194.  
  3195. >~Sincerely, Mr. Zwei
  3196.  
  3197. You fold the letter and replace it back in the Fuhrer's desk. You then ask for Dawn's assistance in moving the desk, which she agrees without hesitance.
  3198.  
  3199. The desk is moved, revealing a secret hatch underground...
  3200.  
  3201. >INVESTIGATION COMPLETE!
  3202. >Hatch discovered!
  3203.  
  3204. You open the hatch, discovering a secret tunnel leading through a work camp, "Well then... Ladies first?"
  3205.  
  3206. "Motion carried, Commander." says Dawn as she slips down the hatch. As soon as her feet hit the ground, you drop down next. With any luck, the Fuhrer won't notice his desk out of
  3207.  
  3208. place..
  3209.  
  3210. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpmqiaIkubA
  3211.  
  3212. As it turns out, Drifler saved money by not outsourcing help to build a bunch of concentration camps all over the region. Instead, he focused all of his troops on the underground,
  3213.  
  3214. creating a complicated labyrinth of tunnels that create a mining syndicate with no real purpose other than just to make the Jews work for the sake of working.
  3215.  
  3216. You and Dawn notice that there aren't any Jews underground at the moment, meaning that they must all be elsewhere, most likely in that dungeon Drifler is keeping them all in. Perhaps
  3217.  
  3218. they have specific working hours?
  3219.  
  3220. Should that be the case, then one can only wonder what goes on down here while the Jews aren't working.
  3221.  
  3222. If Drifler requested a hatch connecting his own house with the mine system, then there must be good reason to it if he himself deemed it necessary. Perhaps it works like some sort of
  3223.  
  3224. literal Underground Railroad?
  3225.  
  3226. Where does this train intend on taking the Fuhrer then..?
  3227.  
  3228. Dawn turns to you, "Passable detective work, Commander Lucas. I'm starting to believe that we can function as a duo."
  3229.  
  3230. That's a good sign.
  3231.  
  3232. A) Check one of the abandoned mine carts, what are they mining anyways?.
  3233. B) Talk to the nearby exhausted, groaning, over-stuffed Drifloon Balloonazi.
  3234. C) Explore the tunnels, talk to Dawn about something. (?)
  3235.  
  3236. One of your Buneary ears begins drooping down, so you start fiddling around with it to get it to stick upward again, "Dawn, uh, let's go check out one of those carts, I'd like to know
  3237.  
  3238. what's so important about this place."
  3239.  
  3240. Dawn grabs the ear, making it stick back up in seconds, "Understood, Commander."
  3241.  
  3242. "...Whoa.."
  3243.  
  3244. You and Dawn peek into the cart to take a gander at its contents, but it only serves to raise more questions than answer the ones already present.
  3245.  
  3246. Iron is present inside the carts.
  3247.  
  3248. "Iron? Commander, I do not understand this reveal. Why would the Fuhrer require iron to be mined underground? Would you happen to have an explanation?"
  3249.  
  3250. You still can't get over that superior title she's given you. With a stammer, you twiddle your fingers, "W-Well, to be honest Dawn, erm, n-no. I was hoping I did, but I really can't think of
  3251.  
  3252. anything, I-I mean, I think that maybe this could just be filler material that the Fuhrer wants the Jews to mine up just to kill time, but if that were really the case then.."
  3253.  
  3254. Dawn sticks up an index finger, "He would have had them mine something more typical, such as rocks. Something specific such as iron indicates a purpose that the Fuhrer is searching
  3255.  
  3256. for. That purpose might just lead us to some more information about his forthcoming schemes. Thank you Commander Lucas, your thoughts did not amend to nothingness like you
  3257.  
  3258. previously believed."
  3259.  
  3260. The two of you continue going down the tunnels, following the train tracks as a way of going from Point A to Point B.
  3261.  
  3262. >Second opportunity to talk to Dawn reached.
  3263. >Talk to Dawn about what?
  3264.  
  3265. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mE-QE4_73KU
  3266.  
  3267. While the two of you walk throughout the tunnels, you decide to make more small talk with Dawn, as she seems to be warming up to you. Or at the very least, tolerating your presence.
  3268.  
  3269. "Dawn, if you mind, when this is all over, uh, would you come to an amusement park with my friend Barry and I?"
  3270.  
  3271. "Amusement...park? I understand both words and what you are referring to, however, I cannot give you an answer."
  3272.  
  3273. "U-um, why not?"
  3274.  
  3275. "I have not been to an amusement park before. I have been confined to the laboratory for a majority of my days, I do not request to go anywhere, so I stay there all day."
  3276.  
  3277. "That doesn't sound very healthy.."
  3278.  
  3279. "It is not the most sufficient life, but it is my life, Commander. I am grateful for what I have."
  3280.  
  3281. "But...you don't really have anything, to be honest..."
  3282.  
  3283. "I am aware of that."
  3284.  
  3285. "Can't you at least think about it? You'll have fun, I promise! Barry's been wanting to add a third person to our group anyhow!"
  3286.  
  3287. "Barry..? I do not understand. Is this person a friend of yours?"
  3288.  
  3289. "Only the very best!- I-I mean! He's not BETTER than you are, per-say, i-it's just that I've known him longer, a-and we've been friends since forever and ever and he always knows how to
  3290.  
  3291. get me in a good mood and-"
  3292.  
  3293. "I understand, Commander. And...I will give it thought."
  3294.  
  3295. "That's another thing, why do you keep calling me "Commander"? N-Not that I hate it or anything, I-I think it's real cute, actually!"
  3296.  
  3297. "I am calling you "Commander" because Professor Rowan told me that you are my superior throughout today's mission. I learned this after I held a brief conversation with him in his
  3298.  
  3299. office. I hold respect to all my superiors, and thus is why I am treating you as such. I accept your apology from today's earlier incident, which I would not have done had I learned I was
  3300.  
  3301. inferior to you. Because of this, I am at your whim. You may do as you please with this new title." she bows in front of you.
  3302.  
  3303. You blush. Do as you please?
  3304.  
  3305. The next few minutes are quiet, but you honestly don't want them to be. Talking with Dawn is intriguing, so you come up with another excuse to talk to her, hoping to the great llama
  3306.  
  3307. above that it isn't offensive to her.
  3308.  
  3309. "Erm, uh, D-Dawn, please don't take offense but....Why are you the way you are? All, erm, b-blank and stuff...?"
  3310.  
  3311. "Commander Lucas, it is not a secret to me that I was born inside the laboratory. I am aware of my past and my history, to answer your question, I am the way I am because that is how I
  3312.  
  3313. was constructed. My main purpose was not to be happy, not to be mad, sad, or even enjoy things. My main purpose was to get jobs done without questions asked, and that is what I am
  3314.  
  3315. doing right now. We went over this when we were discussing emotions. I do not perceive feelings unless ordered to by a superior, so I act monotone because I have no reason trying to
  3316.  
  3317. act like everybody else."
  3318.  
  3319. >Follow that up by saying/asking...?
  3320.  
  3321. You decide not to push things too far, you enjoy Dawn's company, and if she doesn't want to act differently if she thinks she has no purpose doing so, then it really isn't in your right to
  3322.  
  3323. change her. That said, she did agree to think about the amusement park suggestion.
  3324.  
  3325. At the very least she could have fun with that blank stare of hers.
  3326.  
  3327. "Dawn, do you at least understand emotions? I-I mean, you can empathize with other people like friends, right?"
  3328.  
  3329. "I could. If they were my orders, I understand them, but I don't execute them."
  3330.  
  3331. You begin scratching your head, "O-Oh, well that's cool! I-I mean, erm, just try to be however you want to be while also feeling what feels "natural" and "appropriate" for certain
  3332.  
  3333. situations."
  3334.  
  3335. "That sounds contradicting, Commander."
  3336.  
  3337. "It does, um..life is kinda like that."
  3338.  
  3339. "Life is confusing, Commander."
  3340.  
  3341. "It really is."
  3342.  
  3343. You and Dawn begin to near the end of the mine shaft, but Dawn continues the conversation after realizing she had missed something earlier in your speech, "Commander?"
  3344.  
  3345. "Uhh, what is it?"
  3346.  
  3347. "You said if I could empathize with others, which I have the possibility to do so. But then you also added if I could empathize with "friends". I apologize, Commander Lucas, but I do not
  3348.  
  3349. have any friends. If I did, I would empathize with them only if the situation were appropriate."
  3350.  
  3351. That reveal kind of stings you, "B-But aren't we friends?"
  3352.  
  3353. Dawn looks at the ground, "I had assumed we were co-workers, Commander. Unlike most other concepts, the idea of friendship is quite vague to me, tell me, do you assume we are
  3354.  
  3355. friends because of our interactions thus far?"
  3356.  
  3357. "W-Well yeah, that's the general idea of friendship, Dawn.."
  3358.  
  3359. "I shall take that proposition into consideration then, Commander."
  3360.  
  3361. The two of you eventually make it to the end of the mine shaft, which is great considering the fact that you were starting to get a bit too awkward with Dawn in an empty, dark tunnel.
  3362.  
  3363. That's admittedly the kind of person you are.
  3364.  
  3365. The end of the tunnel reveals a metallic door with a staircase behind it, leading upward into another location. You make sure the coast is clear before Dawn opens the door.
  3366.  
  3367. You follow her inside once everything is a-okay.
  3368.  
  3369. "Say Dawn?"
  3370.  
  3371. "Yes, Commander?"
  3372.  
  3373. "U-Uh.. I-I know we're on the rocks with this friendship thing a-and whatnot, but I am your superior, s-so what would you say if I asked you to, um......hug me?"
  3374.  
  3375. She proceeds to stare at you, which brews more tension and awkwardness.
  3376.  
  3377. "....At least give me a smile?" you sheepishly add with a shrug.
  3378.  
  3379. Dawn ultimately shakes her head, "Please Commander, don't lose hold of your marbles, the time is not appropriate yet to be indulging in such things.. Furthermore, while I believe you
  3380.  
  3381. are a good partner, I find your ways at courting to be most flawed."
  3382.  
  3383. She...knows?
  3384.  
  3385. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrCRMVdo4vM
  3386.  
  3387. The staircase leads you to a mysterious laboratory, where scientists that are as dead as Dawn spend the day working on an assembly line, constructing ambiguous parts to what appears
  3388.  
  3389. to be a series of machines.
  3390.  
  3391. Surprisingly, the scientists pay absolutely no attention to you, aside from one who gives just a mindful glance. They all continue working on their contraption, being forced around the
  3392.  
  3393. clock to do so.
  3394.  
  3395. "Commander Lucas, the materials they're working with appear to be metallic. I believe they may be the same iron we saw back in the mines, do you also believe this theory?"
  3396.  
  3397. "Well, I didn't put it together before you, but now that you mention it, yes, I do."
  3398.  
  3399. Dawn bends over on one of the working tables, poking one of the working scientists in the face. As she has expected, he gives no sign of response.
  3400.  
  3401. "I do not believe these scientists are meant to harm us. They seem fully content on just working on their projects. If you want, we may proceed higher up, Commander."
  3402.  
  3403. A) Talk to the glancing scientist.
  3404. B) Head up to the higher floors before the glancing scientists rats you out.
  3405.  
  3406. It's clear what the deal here is. The only scientist who bothered giving you and Dawn any recognition is clearly going to backstab you as soon as you walk out of the laboratory.
  3407.  
  3408. You and Dawn try to interrogate him, disguises on and all. These humanoid scientist types probably aren't as dumb as the Drifloon nazis, and are probably capable of seeing through your
  3409.  
  3410. disguise. After all, it's just a cottontail and a pair of ears.
  3411.  
  3412. A disguise that does wonders on Dawn though. Ahem.
  3413.  
  3414. "Excuse me, mister, but uh, I couldn't help but noticing that you glanced at us as we walked in. Look, w-we don't mean any trouble, we just like to ask the Fuhrer a few questions, so if
  3415.  
  3416. you don't mind, c-can you please not sound the alarm?" you ask.
  3417.  
  3418. "I know what you're trying to do." says Dr. Ein, "And I approve. Go through with it. Defeat Drifler, I sincerely do not care. I despise him despite what things I may be forced to say about
  3419.  
  3420. him. He is a despicable cretin that I do not worship anymore."
  3421.  
  3422. "Whoa, slow down there! What seems to be your problem?"
  3423.  
  3424. A) Ask him why all of the other scientists are so dead.
  3425. B) Ask him why he hates the Fuhrer.
  3426. C) Ask him what he's currently working on. How are the working conditions?
  3427.  
  3428. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ht16foup4M
  3429.  
  3430. Dawn holds up her hand, asking for the spotlight following your questions, "Halt. If I may Commander. Why do you hold passionate disdain for the Fuhrer? You're one of his workers.
  3431.  
  3432. Are you not supposed to frequently heil to him and appreciate his mere existence as a favor to you still being alive?"
  3433.  
  3434. Dr. Ein scoffs, "Fat chance! I cared for that man like he was my own son, ever since it all started. Ever since it all started way long ago from this mere hellhole working place to a much
  3435.  
  3436. simpler time, in my backyard when he- HEY! Why am I telling you two this anyways? Scram, beat it kids before I get that Fuhrer myself!"
  3437.  
  3438. Dawn slams her hands on his desk, but he ignores it and goes back to working, her tone is still dull, "You do not understand. There are still many questions I wish to ask you, can you
  3439.  
  3440. please stop being difficult to work with."
  3441.  
  3442. Realizing the impending doom your rather oblivious, pale, apathetic waifu is about to get into, you grab her hand, "D-Dawn! Come on, we gotta go before you drive this guy over the
  3443.  
  3444. edge!"
  3445.  
  3446. You hastily take Dawn into the next staircase, the generator doesn't seem to be in here so it's best to just head on out, "But Commander, I still have questions to-"
  3447.  
  3448. "Please Dawn, can we save them for later? I kinda fear he that he's actually going to tip us off to the Fuhrer. We should probably get going in case he actually goes through with it."
  3449.  
  3450. Dawn pauses, then looks at the ground with an understanding bow, "Yes, Commander Lucas. I apologize for my minor outburst. You are an exceptional role-model and I will continue to
  3451.  
  3452. base my traits after yours."
  3453.  
  3454. "Uhhhh.....okay....L-Let's just get going then."
  3455.  
  3456. Dawn removes her hand from yours, "Affirmative."
  3457.  
  3458. After traversing the staircase, you and Dawn find yourselves within the HQ of the Balloonazis! That alone helps you finalize the details on the mystery of the mines. It's possible that
  3459.  
  3460. Drifler could be using the mines as a hidden method of transport for himself from his house to his HQ and vice versa, should anything on surface floor go wrong, to the point where he
  3461.  
  3462. has to masquerade for protection!
  3463.  
  3464. Your detective skills are improving, a bit wobbly still, but you're getting there.
  3465.  
  3466. >You've made it into the HQ!
  3467. >Look for the generator!
  3468. A) Head to the armory.
  3469. B) Head to Drifler's office.
  3470. C) Head to the production plant.
  3471. D) Head to the lobby to make an announcement on the receptionist mic.
  3472.  
  3473. You and Dawn head to the lobby, where an announcement is made that the force-field's generator has gone down. A few Drifloon nazis are sent to investigate the matter, and you motion
  3474.  
  3475. to Dawn that the next step in the plan is to follow the group in order to find the generator.
  3476.  
  3477. You are led by the unaware balloons to the HQ's production plant, which focuses on welding corpses from the materials mined from down below and later refurbished into
  3478.  
  3479. exoskeletons by the scientists in the secret lab.
  3480.  
  3481. When the balloons realize that there isn't a problem with the generator, they fume in anger and storm off, leaving the generator to you and Dawn to deal with.
  3482.  
  3483. "Okay, Commander. How do you suppose we do away with the generator?"
  3484.  
  3485. >Do what with the generator?
  3486. A) De-activate it.
  3487. B) Destroy it.
  3488.  
  3489. You decide to de-activate the generator rather than destroying it. While destroying it sounds like a neat-o action idea, it could draw attention from nearby patrol guards.
  3490.  
  3491. >GENERATOR DE-ACTIVATED!
  3492. >Force-field is down! Professor Rowan can now send S.I.N.N.E.R to finish the job!
  3493.  
  3494. Dawn takes the liberty of confirming to Rowan via HI-TECHNICAAAAAAAAAL Poketch that the job has been pulled off successfully. The man commends her on a good job, and asks
  3495.  
  3496. her to give you his condolences, he then asks her to ready herself, for the mecha is about to arrive.
  3497.  
  3498. "Well, well, well, look who we have here...Spies disguised as my mos favorite thing in the world!"
  3499.  
  3500. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nsCrPVJU8g
  3501.  
  3502. Drifler.
  3503.  
  3504. The Fuhrer appears next to an armed group of his Balloonazis, "Brilliant set-up, gentlemen. I believe the cat has been kaboodle'd."
  3505.  
  3506.  
  3507. "Oh holy crap.." you mutter.
  3508.  
  3509. Dawn is speechless. As usual.
  3510.  
  3511. His words begin to sink in with you, "Wait! You knew about us breaking in!?"
  3512.  
  3513. Drifler nods, "I knew since the beginning. Security camera, mongloid. Plus, the disguises the two of you chose weren't exactly convincing. I predicted that you were both heading to the
  3514.  
  3515. generator to de-activate and LOOK, I was correct! How eternally vanduhferll....Now all I have to do is decimate the two of you, turn the generator back on, and continue my conquest to
  3516.  
  3517. take over ALL of Sinnoh, killing ALL Probopass in the progress!"
  3518.  
  3519. Drifler snaps one of his drifting flaps.
  3520.  
  3521. His Drifloon goons cock their guns in-sync.
  3522.  
  3523. "B-But..You can't just take over all of Sinnoh! It's our home!"
  3524.  
  3525. "Face it, baboons. The jig is up. You'll never be able to take down my organization, and that's just how I want it to stay. Now, make one more step, and I can sincerely guarantee it'll be
  3526.  
  3527. your last."
  3528.  
  3529. Pushing your luck, you do take one step.
  3530.  
  3531. You barely miss the bullet that comes for you seconds later.
  3532.  
  3533. While this seems like an embarrassing act of humiliation, this subtly proves to be a successful kickstarter for a back-up plan. As the Balloonazis look at you with determined faces,
  3534.  
  3535. their attention is not focused on Dawn.
  3536.  
  3537. She tosses a rock at one of the Drifloons, it hits his gun, and knocks it out of his strings.
  3538.  
  3539. It slides across the room, and everyone's eyes turns to it.
  3540.  
  3541. It's time.
  3542.  
  3543. >What does Lucas do next?!
  3544.  
  3545. There are many choices to do here, you could steal the gun Dawn kicked away, but risk the chance of you being shot yourself in exchange. However, you can also just get the rock Dawn
  3546.  
  3547. threw while the Balloonazis were distracted, and then pelt them all with it in order to defeat them.
  3548.  
  3549. Ultimately, you decide to go with the latter choice.
  3550.  
  3551. As all of the Balloonazis focus their attention on Dawn, the Drifloons cock their guns, while the armless one readies his strings for a choke-fest.
  3552.  
  3553. You take the ultimate risk on what may be Dawn's final seconds to one-up them. You take a dive, grabbing the rock, and you instantly chunk it at a Drifloon before they can even shoot
  3554.  
  3555. the trigger at Dawn.
  3556.  
  3557. The rock does not petrify the Drifloon in question, in fact, it just bounces off of him with a loud noise as if it were nothing. It does leave a lasting scar though.
  3558.  
  3559. An indent.
  3560.  
  3561. Sparks fly out of the balloon.
  3562.  
  3563. By pure luck, he spins out and malfunctions, falling to the ground.
  3564.  
  3565. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYUvF1epDRw
  3566. While the other Drifloons look on without a care, you and even Dawn are taken aback, the Drifloon you had just hit....was a robot?
  3567.  
  3568. Drifler starts clapping, "And so, the last horse has finally crossed the finish line, eh? Took you two long enough. So....now you know the truth. My legion of Balloonazi troops are
  3569.  
  3570. merely robots..."
  3571.  
  3572. You start stammering, "W-WHAT?! WHAAAAT?!?! B-BUT, Professor Rowan told me that they were all ghost-versions of all the dead nazis from the real war, including you!"
  3573.  
  3574. Drifler shakes his big head, "Lies, lies! All lies. Everything you know so far has been nothing but a clever ruse. The only true ghost here is me, everyone else, the Drifloons, the
  3575.  
  3576. scientists, all robots sans one in particular. Emotional drones created by me to stir fear into the public, and my goal is near completion, my legion patrols the Furt, and our attack on
  3577.  
  3578. Sinnoh shall begin shortly, disrupting every town in the pathetic region!"
  3579.  
  3580. "R-Robots..?" your mind has just been fucked.
  3581.  
  3582. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkyoG4S-R6I
  3583.  
  3584. Drifler nods, "Indeed. Robots forged from iron that those greasy Jews mine underground. You see, the rumors about me supposedly committing suicide at the end of World War II was
  3585.  
  3586. false, I was secretly kidnapped by federal agents who took me to the U.S. I was told I was being decommissioned to another galaxy in order to re-think my life's purposes."
  3587.  
  3588. "I was shot off into hyperspace, where my human form died out as soon as I reached planet "Drifphomania". I was revived as a ghostly Drifloon Pokemon, and from there, I evolved into
  3589.  
  3590. Drifblim. I subsequently re-named myself Drifler, grew massively in power, took over the very same planet I was to be left to die at, and purged the world of its citizens in order to
  3591.  
  3592. ready my revenge. And now that I have the Pokemon world cowering in fear by my mere presence, I know that I have just that."
  3593.  
  3594. "When returning to Earth, I crashed into a backyard and made ET-tier acquaintances with Dr. Ein, one of my horrid lackeys. He trusted me like a friend, and I backstabbed him once I
  3595.  
  3596. pulled him on-board as head scientist, he was quickly demoted without question, nor pay."
  3597.  
  3598. "But, in a world filled with differing opinions, not everyone wanted to follow the Fuhrer's ideals anymore, they weren't so gullible in this world. Furthermore, I was the only prior nazi
  3599.  
  3600. actually revived as a ghost. I knew it was gong to be tough, so using my genes and Dr. Ein's, we created a personal super army of masterrace Drifloons and average Joe scientists, all
  3601.  
  3602. boosted by the power that lies right behind you.. So I suggest you turn on that generator."
  3603.  
  3604. "Easy. This is what."
  3605.  
  3606. Dawn lets out a low yelp as two Drifloons seize her, wrapping their strings around her, two guns are put to her head.
  3607.  
  3608. "Any last questions?" asks the Fuhrer.
  3609.  
  3610. >What does Lucas do next?!
  3611.  
  3612. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfqivzjdhd4
  3613.  
  3614. Now you've gone and done it. Perhaps this situation would have been avoided if you had taken pre-caution and turned off security first. Now the Fuhrer and his goons (Or should you say
  3615.  
  3616. "loons"?) are going to off Dawn!
  3617.  
  3618. Seconds are like minutes are your mind races, you hope to god that Rowan is almost here with that mecha, you could really use a giant robot fight to get this pressure off of your back.
  3619.  
  3620. You look down at the downed Drifloon, who is emitting sparks and malfunctioning, his eyes blinking rapidly.
  3621.  
  3622. You see that his strings are no longer functioning, and his head IS made out of iron....
  3623.  
  3624. "Dawn, duck!"
  3625.  
  3626. "Vat?!"
  3627.  
  3628. Dawn ducks quickly, allowing you to literally knock some sense into the function Drifloons, their guns are all swatted away, and they begin emitting sparks of their own. With that, they
  3629.  
  3630. also let go of Dawn.
  3631.  
  3632. The Fuhrer watches his goons spin out with swirls in their eyes, "Impossible! GET THEM YOU BUFFOONS! STOP LOLLYGAGGING!"
  3633.  
  3634. "C-Come on Dawn, let's go!"
  3635.  
  3636. Dawn nods, and you grab her hand, running deeper into the production plant. The Fuhrer is not pleased.
  3637.  
  3638. The Drifloons gain balance, but they all end up bonking into each other, stimulating even more dizziness. In response, the Fuhrer grabs four guns, one for each of his flaps.
  3639.  
  3640. "GAGH! I'll just get them mein-self! LIGHT MY ASS!"
  3641.  
  3642. One of the dizzy Drifloons lights a match under the Fuhrer, causing him to gain powers of which the likes that nobody has ever seen because the Drifblim line is shit competitively!
  3643.  
  3644. >Drifler's Flare Boost!
  3645. >SHIT DAWG THAT BALLOON IS JUST MAD WITH POWER.
  3646.  
  3647. "INSOLENT CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"
  3648.  
  3649. You hear Drifler's yells as you run with Dawn around the plant. The fire is igniting him like a literal hot-air balloon. As soon as the Fuhrer makes contact with the two of you, he shoots
  3650.  
  3651. from all four of his guns, and spews Shadow Balls from his mouth.
  3652.  
  3653. "THERE IS NEIN ESCAPE!"
  3654.  
  3655. You end up heading into a dead end.
  3656.  
  3657. "I'm inclined to believe that he is correct, Commander."
  3658.  
  3659. >What does Lucas do next?!
  3660.  
  3661. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loeIkuCeVas
  3662.  
  3663. Too struck by fear to move, you wait for fate to take its course, maybe death won't be so bad?
  3664.  
  3665. Maybe heaven is cool, yeah, it probably has bananas and popcorn and all that good shit.
  3666.  
  3667. As Drifler cocks his guns for a finishing round, a rumble takes the HQ by storm, "W-What..?"
  3668.  
  3669. Drifler turns around, eyeing the generator from far, "ACK! SACRE BLEU!"
  3670.  
  3671. "Isn't that a French term?..."
  3672.  
  3673. The Fuhrer pays no attention to your side-comment, "THE GENERATOR! IN MEIN RAGE I FORGOT TO TURN IT BACK ON!" Drifler attempts to fly back and activate it again, but
  3674.  
  3675. the shaking rumbles the whole place again, by the time it stops, Drifler doesn't even have enough time to drift over to the halfway point.
  3676.  
  3677. A GIGANTIC fucking robot crashes through the wall of the production plant.
  3678.  
  3679. It is S.I.N.N.E.R.
  3680.  
  3681. It is indeed, time for a giant robot fight.
  3682.  
  3683. As soon it does, Professor Rowan comes on your Poketch! His second transmission confirms that the mecha was sent over to the HQ on auto-pilot successfully, and that all you need
  3684.  
  3685. to do now is finish Drifler and the HQ off for good.
  3686.  
  3687. "GAH! Mein PLANT! MEIN EXOSKELETONS! YOU SHALL PAY!" Drifler grabs one of his guns, aiming it at you.
  3688.  
  3689. Dawn gasps, "Comman-!. . . . . .Lucas. Follow me." she says. This time, she's leading you, and the destination is inside the S.I.N.N.E.R. Drifler's bullets are ineffective against it.
  3690.  
  3691. "BAH! Fine, if it is ein fight you want, it is EIN fight you get. ACTIVATE, ALIEN NEO-NAZI POWERS!"
  3692.  
  3693. Drifler raises his flaps, and begins glowing a vivid purple color. The Fuhrer grows to an unimaginable size, one rivaling that of the S.I.N.N.E.R itself. He roars loudly, focused too much
  3694.  
  3695. on power to give anymore fucks about his precious HQ, you gotta break a few eggs man.
  3696.  
  3697. Dawn sits in the pilot seat while you fly co-pilot, "Lucas, I doubt you have any experience with this, am I correct?"
  3698.  
  3699. You gulp, gripping the seat handles, "Y-You are.."
  3700.  
  3701. Drifler starts the fight by latching his arms onto the S.I.N.N.E.R, attempting to flip it over.
  3702.  
  3703. >GIANT ROBOT FIGHT IS GO TIME NOW!
  3704. >What does Lucas do next?!
  3705.  
  3706. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wKd7Afv4Vo
  3707. "Dawn, what does the co-pilot DO exactly?"
  3708.  
  3709. Dawn calms herself from the rising tension, re-calling exactly what Rowan told her during training with the giant machine, "In the event of a stand-off between two giant figures, the
  3710.  
  3711. pilot, I, moves and calls all shots while the co-pilot, you assists in delivering said shots. Teamwork is the key to making this work, and I hope that you can trust me in this situation."
  3712.  
  3713. You nod, "I....I trust you Dawn. I'll make sure to follow your commands the best way I can!"
  3714.  
  3715. Dawn nods, "Thank you, Lucas. I....have hopes for you as well. Please try to get as emotional as you can, it's what makes the perform exceptionally well."
  3716.  
  3717. You give another nod, thinking of some pretty sad shit to get those tears to well up.
  3718.  
  3719. "Activate lasers please, Lucas."
  3720.  
  3721. "A-Activating!"
  3722.  
  3723. "You better hang on."
  3724.  
  3725. S.I.N.N.E.R slashes the Fuhrer's four arms with four lasers spewing out of it. The Fuhrer doubles back, creating distance between you and him. Dawn repeats this tactic to create even
  3726.  
  3727. more of a separation.
  3728.  
  3729. He grows four arms back, roaring with a vengeance. Using both pairs, Drifler creates two Shadow Balls at once, flinging them at blazing speeds, Dawn has the mecha hold its arm up to
  3730.  
  3731. act as a shield, and she moves in to counter.
  3732.  
  3733. "Giant sword." she says.
  3734.  
  3735. "Giant sword!" you say back, trying to make sure the tears and croaky voice don't interfere with your command responses.
  3736.  
  3737. S.I.N.N.E.R forges a sword out of its other arm, ramming into Drifler, enduring about ten Shadow Balls in the process. Drifler plants all of his arms into the ground like roots, then lies
  3738.  
  3739. down in mid-air as if he were a mounted cannon.
  3740.  
  3741. "FIRE!"
  3742.  
  3743. The Fuhrer shoots flaming fireballs out of his underside.
  3744.  
  3745. >What's S.I.N.N.E.R's next command!?
  3746.  
  3747. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyaK2_CB_iE
  3748. Drifler's fireballs pelt the mecha, Dawn begins to feel insecure, the fire could melt the mecha's steel if you continue to get hit.
  3749.  
  3750. "Activate water cannon."
  3751.  
  3752. "Activating!" you say with a hint of angry passion, partially because you remember that one time when Barry tricked you into playing Rochambeau and letting him go first. That little
  3753.  
  3754. sneak...
  3755.  
  3756. The Fuhrer is washed out by the cannon, nulling his Flare Boost. Not only that, the water also short-circuits all of the Robo-Drifloon nazis and scientists nazis, flooding the entire HQ
  3757.  
  3758. with highly unstable electrifying water and turning it into a Darmanitan's love-haven.
  3759.  
  3760. Unfortunately, this isn't all jokes and games anymore, this proves to be a crucial backlash on both sides of the battlefield, the mecha starts becoming short-circuited itself, but tries to
  3761.  
  3762. resist it. As we all know, balloons hate lightning.
  3763.  
  3764. "Activate the Strobulb and ghost containment vacuum."
  3765.  
  3766. "Activating, pronto!"
  3767.  
  3768. The Fuhrer retaliates by using Electric-type attacks of its own, but the Thunderbolt and Strobulb hit at the same time, weakening the S.I.N.N.E.R even more and temporarily blinding the
  3769.  
  3770. Fuhrer.
  3771.  
  3772. "Now." orders Dawn.
  3773.  
  3774. "Alrighty!"
  3775.  
  3776. The S.I.N.N.E.R's right arm turns to a vacuum which proceeds to suck up the Fuhrer, it is a powerful struggle, and Drifler makes it evident by trying to escape within the vacuum wave.
  3777.  
  3778. Just as it looks like he's about to be captured within the device, he escapes by tossing out a poisonous mushroom that paralyzes the mecha.
  3779.  
  3780. He escapes with little health remaining, "MEIN STRRRRRUUUUUUGGGGLEEEE!"
  3781.  
  3782. >What's S.I.N.N.E.R's next command!?
  3783.  
  3784. You come up with what might just be the stupidest idea ever, but it's one of those ideas that's "stupid" enough to work.
  3785.  
  3786. You turn to Dawn, "Dawn, please grab the Fuhrer, I believe I may have an idea."
  3787.  
  3788. "I do not understand this idea, Lucas. What are you planning on...?"
  3789.  
  3790. "Just trust me, grab him, now hurry!"
  3791.  
  3792. Dawn is hesitant, but nods regardless. The S.I.N.N.E.R grabs the Fuhrer before he can unleash another attack, despite him being a malevolent dictator bent on world domination, he is
  3793.  
  3794. still a balloon all things considered.
  3795.  
  3796. "W-What? What is this?! LET ME GO!"
  3797.  
  3798. Dawn's mouth forms a small 'o' shape, "Huh? Lucas...How did..?"
  3799.  
  3800. "Drifler is still a balloon, no matter how menacing he may be. The electricity we're building up from standing in the water is transferring to him, electricity causes balloons to be stuck
  3801.  
  3802. to things!"
  3803.  
  3804. "Oh, I understand now...But is this it? Do you not have another thing in mind?"
  3805.  
  3806. "I do. Please place a Ring Target on him now so that we may harm him." Dawn nods in response to your request, and launches a Ring Target on the Fuhrer while his guard is down.
  3807.  
  3808. It wraps around his swirly head-dollop.
  3809.  
  3810. >Drifler's immunities are no more!
  3811. >RUN NIGGA RUN!
  3812.  
  3813. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UV9Tq-rU2U
  3814. Drifler's eyes widen, "Nein! My immunities...they..they've disappeared! Why can I not free myself from this darned robot? I feel so...I feel so shocking, I DON'T LIKE THIS, LET
  3815.  
  3816. MEIN GO!
  3817.  
  3818. "Now Dawn, can you please use the mecha's self-destruct so that we can blow up the Fuhrer AND his HQ for good?"
  3819.  
  3820. "I....I am not sure about this, Lucas."
  3821.  
  3822. "Please Dawn! He's about to break free, do it, please do it now!" your eyes watch Dawn's finger hover over the self-destruct button. In the end, she pushes it.
  3823.  
  3824. >SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE, ACTIVATED. 10....9......8......7
  3825.  
  3826. "But Lucas, the S.I.N.N.E.R will blow up in the process, what will happen to us? What will Rowan's reaction be?"
  3827.  
  3828. >6.......5........4
  3829.  
  3830. "Rowan will be okay about it, trust me! As for us, we'll just find a way out and eject ourselves, obviously!"
  3831.  
  3832. >3........2.....
  3833.  
  3834. "But Lucas, the S.I.N.N.E.R does not contain an eject button. It was removed for budget reasons.
  3835.  
  3836. >1....
  3837.  
  3838. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?!?"
  3839.  
  3840. >Boom.
  3841.  
  3842. The mecha ignites, bursting into an explosive flurry of flames that consumes itself and the Balloonazi organization overall in the progress.
  3843.  
  3844. You white out momentarily.
  3845.  
  3846. >SOME TIME LATER. . .
  3847.  
  3848. All that's left when you awaken from the reckless self-destruction of the S.I.N.N.E.R is a dead wasteland that vaguely resembles Furt Ballonssinge as it once was just minutes ago.
  3849.  
  3850. The mission is complete, sure. But as you look amongst the ruins, you see no traces of Dawn or the enraged balloon Fuhrer.
  3851.  
  3852. Your faulty Buneary ear droops over again.
  3853.  
  3854. But at what cost?
  3855.  
  3856. >Search where?
  3857. A) What remains of the production plant. What happened to the others?
  3858. B) What remains of the scientist's laboratory. That lone glancing guy was apparently the only scientist who was actually not a robot..What happened to him?
  3859.  
  3860. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJTNJvPDsyM
  3861. You rummage through the remains of the production plant, trying everything in your power to keep you feet from stepping into the electrical water, you rely on moving around by
  3862.  
  3863. hopping onto heaps of floating trash.
  3864.  
  3865. However, by the time you search around- twice even, you still find no trace of the Fuhrer or Dawn. The only thing remaining that showed any sight of the Balloonazis being in
  3866.  
  3867. attendance are the discarded, robotic corpses of Drifler's goons floating in the water, faces most blank on their face.
  3868.  
  3869. You don't want to accept the possibility that she may be....no. You only just met her today for crying out loud, and you already know so much about her, yet at the same time so little...no,
  3870.  
  3871. you won't stand for it.
  3872.  
  3873. >Look for Dawn!....? Inspect anything suspicious..?
  3874. A) Head to the electrical lake.
  3875. B) Check that inviting nearby big heap of trash.
  3876. C) What's that in that nearby puddle?
  3877.  
  3878. "Gar, Garbodor!~" the heap of trash invites a mighty friendly Garbodor and his troop of Trubbish over to play and make snow angels. You decide it's best not to rain on their parade with
  3879.  
  3880. your sadness.
  3881.  
  3882. "Trub, trub Trubbish trub!~"
  3883.  
  3884. Your search takes you to a small puddle a few feet away from the lake, and it is there that you make a life-scarring discovery.
  3885.  
  3886. One of Dawn's Buneary ears is lying in the electrifying puddle, wet and scarred by the explosion. You look around for the other one, but it is no where to be found, the same situation
  3887.  
  3888. applies to her cottontail.
  3889.  
  3890. "Oh no...."
  3891.  
  3892. >Look for Dawn!....? Inspect anything suspicious..?
  3893. A) Ignore call; head to the electrical lake.
  3894. B) Ignore call; kindly ask the Garbodor troop if they'll let you check the trash heap.
  3895. C) Someone's calling you on the Poketch!
  3896.  
  3897. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avxcOc36QxE
  3898. Suddenly, your Poketch begins ringing!
  3899.  
  3900. >INCOMING CALL FROM PROFESSOR E. G-....ROWAN!
  3901.  
  3902. You answer the call with a simple tap, "'Yello?"
  3903.  
  3904. "I saw the explosion from here, Lucas. Astounding work, I myself admittedly held hidden doubts regarding whether or not you would be successful with this task, but it's clear that you
  3905.  
  3906. have proven me wrong, my boy. Well done."
  3907.  
  3908. "O-Oh, um, thanks Professor, but I'm not really in the mood now..."
  3909.  
  3910. "Eh? Why not? On that note, where is Dawn? Was she not with you within the S.I.N.N.E.R when it self-destructed? Don't be mad about that by the by, we have an updated model in
  3911.  
  3912. development as we speak."
  3913.  
  3914. You frown, "That...That's just it Professor....I...can't find her."
  3915.  
  3916. Rowan gasps, "What?! Dawn... This is not good, Lucas. Not good at all. You see her as more than just a man-made genetically engineered project, don't you?"
  3917.  
  3918. You shift your eyes left to right to ensure that no one is watching, before nodding with a faint blush.
  3919.  
  3920. "This is quite the puzzle then... Lucas, my boy. I advise you to go find her now. Please call me back when you find her, and....I will understand if your recovery results in nothing, or
  3921.  
  3922. something....awful."
  3923.  
  3924. "Ahem. I'll talk to you later."
  3925.  
  3926. You nod, "Alright, bye Professor."
  3927.  
  3928. >>11868914
  3929. The call ends, and you head to the trash heap. Initially the Garbodor and Trubbish are quite picky, ordering that you go away and stop bothering them, but you plead that they let you
  3930.  
  3931. search the trash heap.
  3932.  
  3933. Once they see how serious you are, they agree.
  3934.  
  3935. In said heap of trash, you find two things in particular that stand out.
  3936.  
  3937. The Experimental Pin from that you retrieved from the lab, and Dawn's hat... The former must have fell out of your pocket during the explosion. With your search resulting in some
  3938.  
  3939. things, you leave the heap with the items in tow, as the trash-buddies go back to playing.
  3940.  
  3941. With no other choices left, you head to the electrical lake that submerges a major part of the HQ, but don't waste time in checking it out thoroughly.
  3942.  
  3943. A) Head to the heap of scrap metal.
  3944. B) Head over to the stake sticking out of the ground, someone appears to be in trouble..?
  3945. C) Head over to a pile of red..stuff?
  3946.  
  3947. You head over to the stake, only to find that it isn't Dawn. You're getting warmer though, that's for sure.
  3948.  
  3949. The person on the stake is actually the Fuhrer himself, Drifler, deceased. It seems he burst from the explosion, ripped a few holes, deflated himself to normal size, then inconveniently
  3950.  
  3951. landed on the iron stake, which then impaled him for good.
  3952.  
  3953. Well, that ends that nightmare, you suppose. But it still doesn't answer the question as to where Dawn is.
  3954.  
  3955. >IMPORTANT DECISION. Choose wisely. This is a literal life or death situation.
  3956. A) Make your way to the heap of S.I.N.N.E.R scrap metal. She's bound to be there.
  3957. B) Head over to the mysterious pile of red..stuff near the lake?
  3958. C) A sheet of metal appears to be blocking something near the exit?
  3959.  
  3960. Ultimately, your search comes to a close when you walk up to an enigmatic metal sheet that seems to be blocking something.
  3961.  
  3962. Curious, you remove it, and discover a grave site.
  3963.  
  3964. The S.I.N.N.E.R's obliterated cockpit.
  3965.  
  3966. "O-OH NO! OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO!"
  3967.  
  3968. You hop through the window, almost tripping on the way in. The cockpit is dark as fuck, but it's not that large. A quick recon helps you determine what's in the cockpit.
  3969.  
  3970. Broken shit, broken shit, pieces of broken glass, one human being, more glas- "WAIT!"
  3971.  
  3972. Your eyes see a feeble, petite body lying inside the cockpit.
  3973.  
  3974. Dawn.
  3975.  
  3976. She is motionless.
  3977.  
  3978. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoYDmpgxvK4
  3979.  
  3980. Just as your fears begin to reach near fatal levels, Dawn's eyes suddenly open.
  3981.  
  3982. "D-Dawn! You're alive!"
  3983.  
  3984. Dawn sits up, but seems to have trouble doing so, you can't see very well due to the darkness, but other than that she appears to be fine, save for a few scars.
  3985.  
  3986. "Yes, Lucas. I'm fine, why would I not be?"
  3987.  
  3988. "W-Well, it's just that- THE EXPLOSION! You weren't anywhere to be found, I thought for sure that you were...uh...y'know."
  3989.  
  3990. "I...That was very thoughtful of you Lucas. I most likely would have done the same for you. Thank you for your courtesy." she says. You get on your knees and get closer to her, just to
  3991.  
  3992. make sure she really is alright.
  3993.  
  3994. "Y-You're welcome...S-So, I guess we won then, right?"
  3995.  
  3996. "Barely. But together, we did it." just then, Dawn begins to cringe.
  3997.  
  3998. "Dawn, is something wrong?"
  3999.  
  4000. She hugs herself, "It is nothing Lucas, it's just...There's some sort of warmth overcoming me. I am not sure how to explain it. The thought of completing the mission, defeating our
  4001.  
  4002. enemy, having a good partner like you, trusting in each other to get the mission done, I am confused. I cannot explain this feeling."
  4003.  
  4004. You cock an eyebrow, "Uh, Dawn? I think you're just happy."
  4005.  
  4006. "Happy? I...I apologize. I have not felt this emotion, I do not know what to do."
  4007.  
  4008. You shrug sheepishly, "Well, you can start by smiling!"
  4009.  
  4010. "Smile. Form one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up." Dawn pauses, then follows the directions of her definition.
  4011.  
  4012. She gives a small smile to you, her first in......forever..?
  4013.  
  4014. "Is that acceptable, Lucas? Did I do it right?"
  4015.  
  4016. You imitate her usual tone jokingly, "It is "of exceptional quality", Dawn."
  4017.  
  4018. Just as you're about to get up and get ready to return the lab, Dawn crawls over to you, shimmying a bit away from the dark, "Lucas. These...feelings. Even after smiling, I still do not
  4019.  
  4020. feel like I understand them. Some of these feelings are for myself, and some.."
  4021.  
  4022. "Some are, some are what?"
  4023.  
  4024. Dawn looks down, "Some are directed towards you. I do not know why. I have not interacted with people my own "physical" age. When I first met you earlier today, I thought little of
  4025.  
  4026. you. But after going through all of that, my opinions on you are no longer mixed. Do you comprehend what I'm saying, Lucas?"
  4027.  
  4028. Before you can answer her question, something warm presses up to your cheek.
  4029.  
  4030. It is Dawn's lips.
  4031.  
  4032. "I apologize if you didn't like that, Lucas. I have heard a handful of times that this expression is most often used between an individual who wishes to express feelings towards another.
  4033.  
  4034. Since I am holding these...thoughts for you, of which I still do not fully understand, I felt this was the best way to show it. Was I correct?"
  4035.  
  4036. Too stunned to even say anything, you just mumble gibberish.
  4037.  
  4038. "I shall take that as a yes. I hope in the meantime I will be able to comprehend what I am feeling. Please keep this interaction secret from the Professor and the others for the time
  4039.  
  4040. being, thank you. And on that note, can you please assist me?"
  4041.  
  4042. The latter request manages to zone you out from the deep recesses inside your flushed mind. You turn to Dawn, who has now completely out of the darkness of the cockpit, revealing a
  4043.  
  4044. horrifying sight.
  4045.  
  4046. Her right leg has been obliterated in the explosion, explaining why she had trouble earlier. There is no blood at all, in fact where her leg cuts off, there appears to be tiny fragments of
  4047.  
  4048. bits and small cubes that make up her body composition. Each are color-coded to what part of her body they represent.
  4049.  
  4050. 8-bits..?
  4051.  
  4052. You put one of her arms around you and help her up, stunned by the discovery. From there, the two of you head out the cockpit, and begin the long walk back to the lab so that Dawn can
  4053.  
  4054. get a repair.
  4055.  
  4056. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to go to the amusement park with her and Barry, and everyone will have a grand fun time.
  4057.  
  4058. >Segment .4 end. [good]
  4059. -----------------------------------------------------------------------
  4060. >Segment .5 [FINAL] - One Last Job - Unova - Hilbert
  4061. > --> TWO YEARS BEFORE NATE & ROSA. <--
  4062. Just as the going gets good, the good gets going. Your spirit de-synchronizes from the boy's, and is flung to its final destination. The trip is the longest, but the soul synchronization
  4063.  
  4064. progress is actually the fastest so far. But as soon as your spirit connects, a bunch of nonsensical strings of code override you, glitching the whole process up.
  4065.  
  4066. . . .
  4067.  
  4068. . . .
  4069.  
  4070. . . .
  4071.  
  4072. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=109_yCKvl_A [Embed]
  4073. Town Nuvema from boy old year 15-13 aged ambiguously the ,Hilbert are You. all at night last happend that nothing remember you And. Nothing 0110111001101111thing. Zip. Nada.
  4074.  
  4075. Eyes that are yours open, but you find yourself in where?
  4076.  
  4077. Space blank.
  4078.  
  4079. Remember you recall being in City Castelia, now aren't you, or are you? You're in a space time blank continuum vacuum in nowhere of the middle.
  4080.  
  4081. Artifacts glitchy are everywhere, like TV wrong encoded, like story wrong encoded, words, structure, WORDS, do not comprehend flow. Memory is not present.
  4082.  
  4083. "Huh...Where am I?" you around look for people, but none there are to assist you in your time of want.
  4084.  
  4085. >Stuck in nowhere of middle with explanation none. Head where?
  4086. A) Is where she? Check near hydrant fire.
  4087. B) Otter what where how? Check pond Ducklett park near.
  4088. C) Artifacts interact, glitchy they are why but?
  4089. D) System must reboot want does it?
  4090.  
  4091. Thinking hard are you, button appears to you next, curious are you, press it you do.
  4092.  
  4093. Shuts off the system does, darkening colors as much unlike always. But then system bootsre itself. And colors brighten, everything back it goes to the same it was before.
  4094.  
  4095. ...
  4096. ...
  4097. ...
  4098.  
  4099. >11110101110101010101101010101011110
  4100.  
  4101. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kOesVOpqDA [Embed]
  4102.  
  4103. You get tossed onto the pavement, entering the bright and bustling city of Castelia in the beautiful region of Unova. Perhaps we should try this again? You are Hilbert, the ambiguously
  4104.  
  4105. aged 13-15 year old boy from Nuvema Town. Now doesn't that sound nice?
  4106.  
  4107. Nice, like you. You're quite a tender individual, you love battling, Pokemon, training, EV training, dream world huntin', exploring, you don't even mind people who cheat with hacking
  4108.  
  4109. adhesives, you just care too much.
  4110.  
  4111. You care more for others than you do yourself.
  4112.  
  4113. Although everything seems to be back to normal, it's clear that something's going on throughout the region of Unova, now that your memory's back, you can recall things.
  4114.  
  4115. Recently odd "glitchy" artifacts have been appearing all over Unova, floating around, generally not doing anything until interaction is made, in which case the perpetrator is thrown into
  4116.  
  4117. an alternate dimension.
  4118.  
  4119. Like you just now. You were curious, and yeah...You fell for the trick last night.
  4120.  
  4121. These glitches are generally annoying and are causing a nuisance to most of Unova, could it be residue from a hacker who's gone too far? If you just let this stuff fly by, what if it
  4122.  
  4123. corrupts all of Unova and just glitches it to hell and back?
  4124.  
  4125. Speaking of hell, where's Hilda? And your Oshawott?
  4126. A) Head to the cafe.
  4127. B) Head to the alley.
  4128. C) Head to the park.
  4129.  
  4130. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8O0zTEt9So
  4131.  
  4132. You decide to head to the cafe, where you spot Hilda sitting at the bar stools in front of the counter, her faithful Teipg nomming on some berries purchased for him.
  4133.  
  4134. Hilda herself is drowning her pseudo-drunken sorrows in a bottle of milk.
  4135.  
  4136. God, she's so beautiful, the essence of a true maiden in your eyes. It's clearly a miracle that you get to travel the region with her, her voice so sweet, her touch so warmth, everything
  4137.  
  4138. about her is an absolute delight.
  4139.  
  4140. You don't even care about how many times she insults you, calls you stupid, a creep, whatever negative descriptive term she wishes to throw at you, it just motivates you to keep going
  4141.  
  4142. after her. Then there are those scarce, infrequent moments, in which she hints that her feelings may not be too far from yours after all.
  4143.  
  4144. But those are only once in a blue moon. If only they'd happen more often..
  4145.  
  4146. Seeing her lazily sip milk out of a glass somehow gives you the charming confidence to go and talk to her. And so, that's what you do.
  4147.  
  4148. "Greetings 'm lady,~ how are you this evening?" you grab her hand, pecking it gently.
  4149.  
  4150. Hilda swats her hand away from yours, cringing at your almost daily introductory action, "Ew, no. Why do you keep following me? How many fucking times do I have to tell you to go
  4151.  
  4152. away?"
  4153.  
  4154. You lie your head on her shoulder, pushing your luck is fun when it comes to her because rarely does she every really -DO- something about your advances, "Apparently a thousand
  4155.  
  4156. times, because we're traveling buddies, and I like how that term sounds."
  4157.  
  4158. The bartender scoffs, "Take a hike man. The lady doesn't want to be bothered."
  4159.  
  4160. Hilda, stares at her milk glass, sighing, "It's alright. I know him."
  4161.  
  4162. You continue to make charm-talk even after you're let off the hook by her, for reasons unknown, "Oh really? Excuse me, 'mam, but I haven't seen you anywhere before in my life except
  4163.  
  4164. in my Dream World.."
  4165.  
  4166. Hilda rests her chin on her hand, "Are you going to give up anytime soon?"
  4167.  
  4168. "Not really. Why? You don't want me to? I'll stop anytime you know, you just had to tell me to."
  4169.  
  4170. A faint blush covers her cheeks, "..W-Whatever. Are you ready to go yet? We still have shit to do and we're not going to get any of it done if you sit here and keep....doingstuff..."
  4171.  
  4172. >Ready to leave?
  4173. A) Continue smooth-talking.
  4174. B) Head to the park.
  4175. C) Head to the docks.
  4176.  
  4177. You decide to leave the Ducklett alone and let the roaming Reuniclus resume his duties, whatever they are. At the park fountain, which celebrates the mascot of Frosted Flakes, Tony
  4178.  
  4179. the Tiger, for some odd reason, Oshawott plays around, unwinding from a day's worth of battling.
  4180.  
  4181. "Tep, Tepig!" says Hilda's Tepig to the otter, the pig calls from a safe distance, as he happens to have a fear for water, something that Hilda disapproves of, and something she constantly
  4182.  
  4183. berates him for.
  4184.  
  4185. "Hey Oshawott, it's time to get going, Miss Princess is rump-ruptured and wants to get going."
  4186.  
  4187. Hilda promptly smacks your head from behind.
  4188.  
  4189. "Ow!"
  4190.  
  4191. "I'M NOT RUMP-RUPTURED!"
  4192.  
  4193. Oshawott nods, but not before bidding goodbye to a new female friend of his, a Frillish who he seems to have hit it off with real well. As long as his bio-matter isn't consumed by her on
  4194.  
  4195. accident, then things should continue to go swell.
  4196.  
  4197. >OSHAWOTT BACK IN PARTY GET!
  4198.  
  4199. Hilda rubs her temples, "Can we get going now?"
  4200.  
  4201. You hold up a hand, "Now hold up now, we came to the park not just for Oshawott, but to look around too. I hear they even got wild Eevees, Delcattys, Lilligants, and Whimsicotts here,
  4202.  
  4203. do you know how kawaii those Pokemon are?"
  4204.  
  4205. She blows a raspberry, "Well, they are pretty cute..."
  4206.  
  4207. A) A Skitty is chasing its own tail, adorable!~
  4208. B) A Buneary is toying around in a bush, how cute!~
  4209. C) A Chatot is whistling on that park bench, let's go talk!
  4210.  
  4211. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9DxlXokSVc
  4212.  
  4213. The Reuniclus completes his mission, as detailed by the new artifacts glitching the environment up. From a distance, he can see you and Hilda greeting a Skitty.
  4214.  
  4215. "Skit, skit!"
  4216.  
  4217. A tiny bit jealous, he creates a portal using his Psychic-powers and steps through to return to his enigmatic base.
  4218.  
  4219. You get closer to the Skitty, "Hilbert, please. If you want to romp around playing with pussy, then I suggest you get your thick head and come play around with..." she stops herself mid-
  4220.  
  4221. sentence as a realization hits her.
  4222.  
  4223. "Nevermind. Go ahead, I don't care."
  4224.  
  4225. "Alright, it's your funeral! Anyhow, hi little gal, how are you today?~" you kneel down to the small cat, while Oshawott and Tepig introduce themselves. At first the Skitty appears to be
  4226.  
  4227. like any other cat.
  4228.  
  4229. Until its tail begins glitching out.
  4230.  
  4231. "Skitty ski-1101010101010101000001111110011010!-Skitty!" Its mouth briefly flickers into Matrix-tier nonsense before settling again.
  4232.  
  4233. "Woah, what the hell? This cat is acting just like everything else before I came to my senses, in that weird...blank place..."
  4234.  
  4235. Hilda pushes you aside to check the cat herself, "Oh god. What are you whining about now?" a quick, careless observation yields no results for her.
  4236.  
  4237. "See? You're overreacting again, everything's FIIIIINE."
  4238.  
  4239. The Skitty suddenly gains the face of an Aggron.
  4240.  
  4241. "AGGGGRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!" Hilda jumps, startled by the Skitty-Aggron's new appearance, out of "self-defense", she kicks the mutated thing into a tree.
  4242.  
  4243. "Hilda! What did you do!?"
  4244.  
  4245. "IT TRIED TO BITE ME!" she retorts with irritation.
  4246.  
  4247. "It's just a cat!"
  4248.  
  4249. "YOUR MOM'S A CAT THAT THING HAS THE HEAD OF AN AGGRON! KILL IT NOW!"
  4250.  
  4251. The Skitty-Aggron hisses with the tongue of an Ekans, retreating into the bushes with its glitchy tail.
  4252.  
  4253. "Great job princess, you made it run away. Though I do agree, something's clearly not right here. I say we go see someone wise about it. Cats should not have Aggrons for heads!" you
  4254.  
  4255. say with a declarative point at the sky.
  4256.  
  4257. Hilda merely groans.
  4258.  
  4259. A) Head to the docks.
  4260. B) A Chatot is whistling on that park bench, let's go talk!
  4261. C) Go see Castelia's Chief Mystic.
  4262.  
  4263. "Oh god, Hilbert, what are you going to do now?" Hilda asks.
  4264.  
  4265. "Just watch princess, something's going on here, and that weird realistic dream I kinda think I had in my sleep knows it! We're not leaving until Castelia City is glitch-free!"
  4266.  
  4267. Hilda smacks her forehead, "If I wanted to see glitches I would have just played Action Fifty-fucking-Two."
  4268.  
  4269. BA-DUM TSS
  4270.  
  4271. You walk up to the Chatot, starting a conversation with it as it nibbles on some dropped nuts and seeds, "Uh, excuse me Mr. Chatot-bird! But can you give me m'lady here a hand?"
  4272.  
  4273. The Chatot ruffles his feathers, "CAW CAW! CAW CAW! I don't have hands!"
  4274.  
  4275. You frown, "You know darn well, what I mean."
  4276.  
  4277. "MEAN! MEAN! Someone MEAN! Chatot saw someone mean! Who? Chatot hears you ask, Chatot remembers, sorta kinda! Glitches don't hurt Chatot here, Chatot's safe, Chatot has
  4278.  
  4279. DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!"
  4280.  
  4281. Hilda pushes you aside again, "Can it Tweety and spill the Lentimian refried beans, who's this douchebag you found that's turning everything full-retard NES style? I'LL KICK THEIR
  4282.  
  4283. ASS!"
  4284.  
  4285. Innocently, you pat her ass, which tenses her up, "You mean -we'll- kick her ass."
  4286.  
  4287. You feed the bird a seed to gain his trust, "Now Chatot, who was it that you saw?"
  4288.  
  4289. The bird squawks, "CAW CAW! CAW! Caw? SAW! See-Saw! Chatot saw someone he seen, someone so mean! Green gobbly puddle and mysterious big bad boss, infecting Castelia with
  4290.  
  4291. glitches most irrelevant, CAW-CAW!"
  4292.  
  4293. "Huh? Green gobbly thing? Do you mean a Reuniclus?" that's weird, you could have sworn you saw Reuniclus earlier.
  4294.  
  4295. "CAW-CAW! SQUAWK SQUAWK! Reuniclus Reuniclus, go-go-go, spreading disease roaming as he goes! He works for big underground syndicate, not Plasma this time! Chatot
  4296.  
  4297. doesn't know who, shit Chatot just watches and rhymes!"
  4298.  
  4299. Chatot takes flight, dodging a floating glitch artifact as he does.
  4300.  
  4301. "Huh..Interesting. Come on princess, we have work to do."
  4302.  
  4303. Oshawott and Tepig follow you while Hilda just stands there, trying to take everything in, "D-Did you just touch my ass?!"
  4304.  
  4305. "Twenty seconds ago? Yes. Yes I did, I must say princess, you really do have good assets."
  4306.  
  4307. A blush covers her face as she picks up the pace.
  4308.  
  4309. >Find Reuniclus/Underground Crime Syndicate!
  4310. A) Head to the Battle Company
  4311. B) Head to Game Freak INC.
  4312. C) Head to the sewers.
  4313.  
  4314. Your first destination is Game Freak INC, they tend to develop video games from time to time, it's likely they know what's going on here.
  4315.  
  4316. "Y-You know, you don't have to hold my hand ALL the time.." Hilda mumbles on the way over to Game Freak INC.
  4317.  
  4318. You nod, "Oh, I know princess. Take it as special treatment from me, treat everyday as a gift from now on."
  4319.  
  4320. "I...I didn't mean I liked it, let go you pig-ugly douchebag!"
  4321.  
  4322. "How can I let go? Princesses shouldn't be walking around all by their lonesome y'know."
  4323.  
  4324. "Y-You...you need to stop calling me that! What makes you think you can toy around with me like....like some sort of ragdoll you can sexually harass whenever!?"
  4325.  
  4326. "Why? Do you prefer assfuck?"
  4327.  
  4328. Hilda's eyes dart downward, "Not the way you use it..." she mumbles.
  4329.  
  4330. "I find it funny how you can kick everyone else's behind, but when it comes to my bottom, you always hesitate before deciding not to do anything. Why? Are you scaaaaaaaaaared,
  4331.  
  4332. Hilda?"
  4333.  
  4334. She offers no response, leading you to assume the envelope is at the edge.
  4335.  
  4336. You let go of her hand, inconveniently in front of the building, "Suit yourself then 'm lady. Looks like we're here." you point to the building's glitching out sign, which flickers "G@M3
  4337.  
  4338. FR3@KKKKKK 000"
  4339.  
  4340. The two of you walk inside, only to discover a complete and utter disaster.
  4341.  
  4342. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbqDehT1620
  4343.  
  4344. The glitches the Reuniclus is supposedly spreading all around town have completely consumed Game Freak, to the point where the typical office building appearance is no longer
  4345.  
  4346. recognizable. What remains is an alluring, abstract abyss complete to the core with colorful otherworldly oddities entering from a faraway rift dimensional gate.
  4347.  
  4348. Things that you have seen before in your dreams and memories are floating around, the case is similar with Hilda since she is accompanying you, as is with Oshawott and Tepig.
  4349.  
  4350. Tepig sees a plate of greasy bacon, and quickly hides behind Hilda's legs, "T-Tepig!"
  4351.  
  4352. Oshawott mimics this action with you once he sees a literal mirror reflection of himself, with the only difference being that his reflection does not hold his trusty scallop.
  4353.  
  4354. "OSSSSHAAAAAAAAA!"
  4355.  
  4356. Game Freak INC. has turned into the sixty-fourth dimension.
  4357.  
  4358. You adjust your hat with a confused expression, "Well...I guess we found where the source of the nonsense is coming from."
  4359.  
  4360. You look at Hilda, who in turn looks back, "What? You think I'm going to ACTUALLY go in there? WITH YOU? You and that COW?"
  4361.  
  4362. Oshawott frowns. Nobody likes Oshawott.
  4363.  
  4364. You grab Hilda, tugging her along for the ride down a path formed by golden, yellow bricks, "It's not like you have anything else to do in the kingdom, princess."
  4365.  
  4366. A) Continue following the yellow-brick road.
  4367. B) Head over to the waterfall that has water going up instead of down.
  4368. C) A race car statue is nearby, investigate.
  4369. D) Head to the giant version of your hat.
  4370. E) Head to the floating Cheren statue.
  4371.  
  4372. You ignore the race car, giant hat, and statue of Cheren and that bitch Snivy of his.
  4373.  
  4374. Your next decision is to go to the reverse-waterfall. Or is it waterup given the context? Regardless of the label, you don't have to pressure Oshawott into using Waterfall to help get you
  4375.  
  4376. up, with the water flowing upward, you and Hilda just jump on a passing log, effectively breaking the laws of physics even more.
  4377.  
  4378. Tepig stuffs himself under Hilda's hat while the girl scouts out her surroundings, "Hmph. This dimensional shit BETTER not ruin my hair, or you're getting it, assface."
  4379.  
  4380. "I like how you're thinking about asses right now."
  4381.  
  4382. "S-SHUT UP!"
  4383.  
  4384. The log makes it to the top of the waterfall, and you and Hilda hop off of it. The log, like everything else drifting into the water, is ultimately consumed by a giant Wailord/Walrein
  4385.  
  4386. hybrid.
  4387.  
  4388. "GOODBYE.~" giant, pus-leaking pores appear on the hybrid's head, which leak Drifloons instead of actual pus. On its back, surinam toad back holes split its skin apart.
  4389.  
  4390. Drifloons appear out of those too.
  4391.  
  4392. The hybrid is carried off into the distance by over a million Drifloons struggling to keep it in the air.
  4393.  
  4394. In their wake, they drop a key into Hilda's hands.
  4395.  
  4396. Three doors suddenly appear in front of you.
  4397.  
  4398. "I don't need to explain what you need to do here now, do I princess?"
  4399.  
  4400. Hilda rolls her eyes and bonks you with the key, "Shut up before I shove this down your throat and make you my clownbitch." she and Tepig walk up to the doors, wondering which to
  4401.  
  4402. unlock.
  4403.  
  4404. You look at Oshawott with a puzzled look, "....Clownbitch?"
  4405.  
  4406. >IMPORTANT QUESTION: Which door to unlock?
  4407. A) Red door.
  4408. B) Blue door.
  4409. C) Green door.
  4410.  
  4411. You protest Hilda choosing red, because red is the color of the name of the guy you're ripping off of, but that's aside from the point.
  4412.  
  4413. She tells you to shut up, and that she'll pick what she wants, when she damn well pleases.
  4414.  
  4415. Hilda unlocks the door and ends up inside a womb with industrial machinery in it. Tepig peeps out of her hat to look at everything, "Tep tep?"
  4416.  
  4417. "Jesus christ! HEY JACKASS, GET IN HERE RIGHT THE HELL NOW! YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME GO IN HERE ALONE!"
  4418.  
  4419. You walk into the red door at a merrily pace, bowing down with a smug grin, "Oh, so now you need me to escort you, princess? What happened to you wanting to away from me?"
  4420.  
  4421. Hilda pinches your ear, dragging you deeper in, "Shut up and follow me, this place gives me the heebeety-jeebeeties and I don't like that, and hurry up you cow!"
  4422.  
  4423. Oshawott blinks, and scuttles after you at a quicker pace. He hops onto your leg and stays there for the time being.
  4424.  
  4425. A) Exit the womb to the intestines.
  4426. B) Head to the ovaries.
  4427. C) Head to the iron sarcophagus.
  4428.  
  4429. Hilda drags you over to the ovaries, she does this because they're the first body part she sees that's recognizable.
  4430.  
  4431. "AHA! Egg baby-makers, thanks a lot jerk, we're finally on the road to reality."
  4432.  
  4433. You scratch your head, "I'm not sure whether I should be proud or not..."
  4434.  
  4435. The ovaries are not like any human ovaries you've ever seen before. While they do show a bit of that pinkish skin that human insides are known for carrying, a majority of the eggs are
  4436.  
  4437. also covered in metallic sheets, creating a sort of industrial "shield" for the egg.
  4438.  
  4439. "What in the hell is that?" Hilda scowls, "I thought I saw egg baby-makers from over here, not robo-eggs! DAMMIT WHY IS THE HUMAN BODY SO CONFUSING!?"
  4440.  
  4441. As Hilda begins punching your arm repeatedly, a Magikarp seeps through the walls of the chamber and swims in mid-air until it reaches the other side.
  4442.  
  4443. "So clearly this place is relevant for some reason, but for what..?" you mumble to yourself, while as Pansage chases pancakes over your head.
  4444.  
  4445. A) Attempt to crack open the ovaries.
  4446. B) Head to the iron sarcophagus.
  4447. C) Enter the intestines.
  4448.  
  4449. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8ubBfX9HdU [Embed]
  4450.  
  4451. The iron sarcophagus is your next destination, which is a giant tomb that replaces that baby to be born in this mother's womb.
  4452.  
  4453. The sarcophagus pumps constantly, almost like a beating heart would do, giant pipes and tubes are connected to it, some made of flesh, others mechanical.
  4454.  
  4455. Hilda attempts to drag you away, "Right, nevermind. This was clearly a bad idea, come on jerk, we're leaving!"
  4456.  
  4457. "On the contrary princess, whatever's in there MIGHT just help us turn this place back to normal and rid the glitches outside." with that, you peek inside the small window provided if
  4458.  
  4459. one ever wants to gawk at the lone prisoner inside.
  4460.  
  4461. A baby with two buns is inside, curled up in a fetal position, eyes closed.
  4462.  
  4463. Now that you're closer to the sarcophagus than before, you notice that with each pump the sarcophagus gives off, a surge of energy tingles through the pipes and tubes.
  4464.  
  4465. >Let the prisoner go?
  4466. A) Yeah, it's the right thing to do to someone metaphorically imprisoned all day.
  4467. B) Nah, not that bitch.
  4468.  
  4469. You grab the handle to the prison, intending to release the poor baby trapped inside the iron hellhole.
  4470.  
  4471. But a shard of glass tossed at you from afar slices the hand you were opening the sarcophagus with. You singe immediately, turning around with the initial belief that Hilda was
  4472.  
  4473. responsible.
  4474.  
  4475. You don't realize that you've turned the handle.
  4476.  
  4477. "HEY! It's you!" Hilda turns around after seeing that you've lost your shit. She too, gets mad when she sees the perpetrator.
  4478.  
  4479. "REUNICLUS!" you and her both shout in-sync.
  4480.  
  4481. The Reuniclus' eyes widen, he realizes that he has been spotted. Quickly, he uses his dreamtime manipulating powers to summon a Meganium from the flesh-floor. He mounts it, pats
  4482.  
  4483. its sides, and hurriedly attempts to escape.
  4484.  
  4485. "HEY!" Hilda is the first to react, she runs away from the sarcophagus and towards the Meganium. But Hilda is swatted away by a Vine Whip before she can get too close, "DAMMIT!"
  4486.  
  4487. It's then that Hilda turns her head and sees two loyal steeds, "Huh..?"
  4488.  
  4489. >Chase Reuniclus! What steed does Hilda board?
  4490. A) The fiery Rapidash!
  4491. B) The electrifying Zebstrika!
  4492.  
  4493. Hilda looks at both of the steeds, a Rapidash and a Zebstrika. Tepig pokes his head out from under her hat, nodding towards the fiery horse.
  4494.  
  4495. "COME ON, JACKASS, HURRY UP!" she shouts to you. She ultimately decides to ride the Rapidash instead of the Zebstrika. As soon as she mounts it, she slaps it side, "YAH! YAH!
  4496.  
  4497. FOLLOW THAT SHITTY STARTER!"
  4498.  
  4499. "RAAAAAPIDASH!~" the horse stomps the ground before obeying her commands, leaving you behind in the dust.
  4500.  
  4501. "H-Hey, wait a minute!"
  4502.  
  4503. "Osha!" you and Oshawott scurry to catch up, but by the time you get to the Zebstrika, it has dissolved into nothingness.
  4504.  
  4505. "Oh for grape's sake!"
  4506. "Osha, osh.."
  4507.  
  4508. Fortunately, a replacement is made available, but it isn't really one that you were expecting.
  4509.  
  4510. "Bliiitzzzleeee!~" a deep-voiced, derpy-looking Blitzle with its mane down appears from behind you. The droopy mane actually manages to cover most of his face, leaving only a goofy
  4511.  
  4512. smile in its wake.
  4513.  
  4514. You look at the ceiling of the womb, questioning these results, "Seriously?"
  4515.  
  4516. From just behind you, the iron sarcophagus slowly opens..
  4517. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4518. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25ctCBnlzuI
  4519. The fiery maiden rides her fiery steed out of the womb, down the "waterup" and down the yellow brick golden road in pursuit of the Reuniclus and his Meganium.
  4520.  
  4521. "Re uni, uniclus!" orders the cell, Meganium nods and prepares to use Razor Leaf.
  4522.  
  4523. Hilda slaps the Rapidash, "FLAME CHARGE!"
  4524.  
  4525. "RAAAAAAAP!" the horse powers through, singing the leaves with ease and gaining speed in the process, "ATTA HORSE! Keep going, DON'T YOU FREAKING THINK ABOUT
  4526.  
  4527. STOPPING!"
  4528.  
  4529. "H-Hilda! Wait for me!" you say, riding the derpy Blitzle way out of her earshot. The Blitzle has a few stumbles in its steps, making the ride all the more cautious for you and Oshawott.
  4530.  
  4531. "I thought you Electric-types were supposed to be fast!"
  4532.  
  4533. "Uh durrr-hur-hur!" says the Blitzle.
  4534.  
  4535. Up ahead, the Reuniclus realizes he might be facing some trouble with this girl, so he summons one of those unlucky Azumarills to get the job done.
  4536.  
  4537. Hilda scowls, "Ugh, it's always something...Emolga, GO!" Hilda tosses a pokeball out of her short-shorts, realizing an Emolga.
  4538.  
  4539. "Emol!~"
  4540.  
  4541. Hilda turns to the flying squirrel, "I swear to god if you even get hit ONCE by that thing, I will disown you."
  4542.  
  4543. Emolga nods, gaining a bit of confidence from her, "EMOOOL!"
  4544.  
  4545. Emolga shocks the Azumarill before it can use Aqua Tail on the Rapidash, successfully allowing Hilda to pass. Hilda slaps the horse's sides again, and he picks up speed.
  4546.  
  4547. You follow Hilda as fast as you can on your derpy Blitzle.
  4548. ---------------------------------------------------------------
  4549. The pursuit comes to a stop when Reuniclus reaches a dead end, the cell snaps his fingers, dissolving the Meganium into nothingness.
  4550.  
  4551. His powers affect the Rapidash and Blitzle as well, they face the same fate as the Meganium. Falling to the ground, you make a mad dash to catch up with Hilda and Reuniclus.
  4552.  
  4553. By the time you get there, Hilda is at a stand-off with the Reuniclus, and judging by the look on her face, it's not good at all.
  4554.  
  4555. "AHA! No where to run now, huh? HUH!? TALK TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!" yells Hilda.
  4556.  
  4557. The Reuniclus nervously charges some glitches in his hands, sweat trickling down his head.
  4558.  
  4559. >What does Hilbert do next?!
  4560.  
  4561. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQGGQ-FCe_w
  4562. [nervousness intensifies]
  4563.  
  4564. Emolga and Tepig both stand next to their trainer, she holds her hands on her hips, "Come on! If you think you're so bad, shoot me with those glitchy particles, I don't care!"
  4565.  
  4566. Still sweating, the Reuniclus forges a harpoon charged with the power of the glitches he's been spreading around, threatening to toss it at any minute.
  4567.  
  4568. "DO IT! DO IT ALREADY!"
  4569.  
  4570. As the theme to The Good, the Bad, and the Purugly plays in your head, you place a hand on Hilda's shoulder, Oshawott rolls all over the ground to catch his breath, "Princess, please,
  4571.  
  4572. let's not get too hasty now."
  4573.  
  4574. "Hey! You said you wanted to save the town and that's what I'M doing, because you're too pussy to do it yourself, let me work!"
  4575.  
  4576. Hilda begins thinking of a command, any command to put that Reuniclus out of its misery.
  4577.  
  4578. A) Spare the Reuniclus.
  4579. B) Hilda must taste blood.
  4580.  
  4581. Just as Hilda prepares to make a command, you step in front of her, having a sudden change of haert for him, "WAIT! Don't do it, he's innocent!"
  4582.  
  4583. Hilda pushes you to the ground, "Move out of the way, dork! That Reuniclus is going down!"
  4584.  
  4585. Going against everything in your beliefs about the wondrous angel you have fallen for, you tackle her to the ground before she can make another command.
  4586.  
  4587. Reuniclus gasps, "Uni!?"
  4588.  
  4589. "H-Hilbert! You asshole, GET OFF OF ME! N-Now isn't the time! I'M TRYING TO KILL THIS GUY!" she yells. But you just ignore her, scooching your face close to hers to distract
  4590.  
  4591. her.
  4592.  
  4593. "Oh, so there IS a good time then?"
  4594.  
  4595. "...Just get off, you turd!"
  4596.  
  4597. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsNO-biURWw
  4598.  
  4599. While Reuniclus is spared from death, he is not spared from injury. Out of nowhere, a giant claw appears out of the ground. The cell gasps, realizing that you have indeed, unlocked the
  4600.  
  4601. beast from its prison. He attempts to get away, but the claw slashes him into a nearby rock, knocking him unconscious.
  4602.  
  4603. "GRAAAAAWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL!"
  4604.  
  4605. The true source of the glitches infecting Unova creates a hole in the ground, and crawls through it to appear in front of you and Hilda.
  4606.  
  4607. It is the same cretin that the Aspertia boy will see in his nightmares years from now. Just much, much bigger and more demonic.
  4608.  
  4609. The beast licks its mouth, body glitching endlessly, colors switching without purpose, it lets out a blood curdling screech.
  4610.  
  4611. Tepig invites Oshawott and Emolga under Hilda's hat, the two both accept the invitation of safety.
  4612.  
  4613. Hilda loses her shit, "AWWWW HEEEELLL NO! That looks just like the ugly thing we saw in that metal womb earlier! Why is it now a monster?!"
  4614.  
  4615. You scratch your chin, "I...I get it now! This monster must have been sealed up by the Reuniclus for some reason, but then the monster started leaking out glitches because that's what
  4616.  
  4617. it's made of, a-and the Reuniclus was just disposing them as best he could, all around the region to prevent the destruction of this company!"
  4618.  
  4619. Hilda deadpans, "Jesus fuck, a little outrageous, much?"
  4620.  
  4621. It turns out that the beast has pulled a ruse on you, disguising itself as a baby only to coax you into letting it from its makeshift hellhole. The monster grows wings, and takes flight with
  4622.  
  4623. the intention of murdering anyone who dares cross its path.
  4624.  
  4625. A subtitle appears under it.
  4626.  
  4627. >BUNHEMOTH
  4628. >Secretly Subtle Succubus Sought to Seek Several Souls!
  4629.  
  4630. >What does Hilbert do next?!
  4631.  
  4632. You pick up the Reuniclus and shake him, but he doesn't respond. He's out cold.
  4633.  
  4634. All that's left in his wake is his glitchy harpoon.
  4635.  
  4636. The Bunhemoth lands in front of you and Hilda, unleashing a deathly flamethrower from its mouth, "Oshawott, Protect!"
  4637.  
  4638. The otter nods, crawling out from under Hilda's hat to create a barrier. However, the demon's glitches are enough to break through Protect and in the process, damage everyone in the
  4639.  
  4640. party.
  4641.  
  4642. "Osha!"
  4643. "Tepig, tepi!"
  4644. "Emooooool!"
  4645.  
  4646. The latter two Pokemon are attacked when the flames scorch Hilda, her hat falls off of her head, and the two Pokemon grasp their rumps in singing embarrassment. Leave it to a Fire-
  4647.  
  4648. type to get hurt by fire.
  4649.  
  4650. "Aw damn...Oshawott, return, I'm afraid this monster's too glitchy for you." Oshawott nods obediently, and salutes as he disappears in a gleam of red light, Hilda repeats this process
  4651.  
  4652. with Tepig and Emolga.
  4653.  
  4654. "Alright wise guy, our Pokemon are too feeble to do any damage and defending doesn't do shit. What do you think we should do now jackass?" asks Hilda.
  4655.  
  4656. You nudge her shoulder, "We could cuddle and defeat it with the power of love.."
  4657.  
  4658. She slaps you. Hard. You rub your cheek in agony, "Ew, no. I'm serious, Hilbert, DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!"
  4659.  
  4660. "Alright, alright, I think there's a wormhole in here somewhere...AHA!"
  4661.  
  4662. You point to the endless swirling portal under the rock platform you're on, "Hilda, on my count, we're jumping."
  4663.  
  4664. "What. The fuck."
  4665.  
  4666. "One.....THREE!" skipping to three immediately, you slap Hilda on her behind, so that she falls off the platform and into the portal. You then toss Reuniclus' unconscious body in there
  4667.  
  4668. before grabbing his glitchy harpoon and joining him.
  4669.  
  4670. The wormhole thrusts you and Hilda into an 8-bit version of Kanto's Viridian City stuck in a time-pause. The two of you land next to an aging old man with his coffee, "BLAAAGGH
  4671.  
  4672. HAGGIS!"
  4673.  
  4674. The Bunhemoth is quick to follow.
  4675.  
  4676. >What does Hilbert do next?!
  4677.  
  4678. As soon as your eyes make contact with the old man, you immediately threaten him to help with the glitchy harpoon, talking incoherently about time-related nonsense and how the real
  4679.  
  4680. world is glitching the fuck up.
  4681.  
  4682. The old man hastily agrees to the plea after you give him a burst of confidence with a cliche speech about old men and how they have a metaphorical connection to dogs and how they
  4683.  
  4684. still have a bark or two left in them or some shit like that.
  4685.  
  4686. The old man grows Popeye-tier muscles, and stands to face the dragon with a cranky demeanor, "HAAAGGGISSSSS!"
  4687.  
  4688. They collide, two forces bursting against each other. The old man's fists fighting off the Bunhemoth's claws. As they fight, the old man attempts to lecture the beast on how to capture
  4689.  
  4690. Pokemon.
  4691.  
  4692. A) Seal the beast with the old man's poke ball, never let it out!
  4693. B) Impale the beast with the glitchy harpoon to override its code with its own glitches!
  4694.  
  4695. Ultimately, your decision lies in-between the old man's poke ball, and the glitchy harpoon belonging to Reuniclus.
  4696.  
  4697. Hilda grabs the poke ball, "Hey doucherella, how about we trying catching that thing?"
  4698.  
  4699. You shake your head, instead grabbing Reuniclus' harpoon, "Uh-uh. I don't think sealing it up anymore is a good idea, it's already gone full TURBOTASTIC just sitting in that iron prison,
  4700.  
  4701. it's best to just get rid of it, and judging from Reuniclus' implications when he had this thing in his hands, this is probably what seals the beast, I just need to get a good shot..."
  4702.  
  4703. Hilda scoffs, "Oh boy. Look at the faggot who thinks he's OH SO smart just because he can function with a marine weapon. You know, REAL MEN kill fish on their ow-"
  4704.  
  4705. You place a finger on her mouth, "Shh..." you focus your aim at the beast, who is still deep in hand-to-hand melee combat with the old man. Slowly, but carefully...
  4706.  
  4707. You toss the harpoon, and it flies at fast pace.
  4708.  
  4709. But in the end, the harpoon takes not one victim, but two.
  4710.  
  4711. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc0VkmYO-ZQ
  4712.  
  4713. The glitchy harpoon impales both the old man and the Bunhemoth at once, staking them to a tree, and seemingly killing both in the process.
  4714.  
  4715. You blink, quite surprised, "Whoa....I'm a good shot."
  4716.  
  4717. The glitches that infect the harpoon then spread to both the demon and the old man, the latter having spent his days doing nothing but being an NPC and drinking coffee, catching
  4718.  
  4719. Rattatas, and whatnot. And in some ways, that was probably for the best, for thinking he could tame such a monster like this, would only end inhis downfall.
  4720.  
  4721. The glitches consume both bodies, turning them into strings of binary code before both glitch infections eat each other out into a stalemate. Which basically means that the two
  4722.  
  4723. infections fought to the death until they both die at the same time.
  4724.  
  4725. The only sign that shows there was ever a struggle to begin with is the old man's now-spilled cup of coffee, which itself is consumed by the binary code moments after you register its
  4726.  
  4727. presence.
  4728.  
  4729. The lesson learned here is that computing is a powerful process, and hacking is even worse, or whatever.
  4730.  
  4731. With the demon and the old man deceased and consumed by the binary code, a wormhole opens back up to the Game Freak INC. Hopefully you can tell the CEOs there of Reuniclus'
  4732.  
  4733. brave heart.
  4734.  
  4735. Y'know, if he's still alive and hasn't died of fatigue in his sleep or anything.
  4736.  
  4737. "Coming, princess?"
  4738.  
  4739. Hilda rolls her eyes, her arms crossed. It seems like you may have pushed her too far, but in the end she takes your hand and attempts to get comfortable, "I guess, i-it's not like I have
  4740.  
  4741. any other choice.." she mumbles.
  4742.  
  4743. The wormhole leads you two back to a Turbo-less Castelia.
  4744. -------------------------------------------------------------------
  4745. The world was back to normal when you and Hilda escaped the 8-bit Viridian City, as soon as you appeared on the other side, you were congratulated by a ton of Game Freak
  4746.  
  4747. employees.
  4748.  
  4749. As it turns out, the Reuniclus was the only survivor of a coding project gone horribly wrong that completely decimated the inside of the building, it happened when an employee was
  4750.  
  4751. trying to create a protagonist for one of the upcoming games, but accidentally coded a monster when he got two of his jobs mixed up.
  4752.  
  4753. The leaking glitch allowed the beast to seep out of the computer and ravage the building, trapping everyone in the endless dimensional abyss and leaving the Reuniclus, one of the
  4754.  
  4755. CEO's Pokemon, in charge of getting it back together.
  4756.  
  4757. He constructed a prison in the womb section of the acid trip dimension and actually managed to capture the beast in it, when he threw the glass at you, he was only trying to protect you
  4758.  
  4759. for your own good, but you didn't listen and thought he was the villain the whole time.
  4760.  
  4761. It turned out the pumps, pipes, and tubes connected to the prison were exporting the excess glitches the beast were creating. Since the Reuniclus didn't want them infecting the building
  4762.  
  4763. anymore should it ever go back to normal, he went out around Unova and spread the glitches in places he hoped no one would find them.
  4764.  
  4765. He's a bad hider.
  4766.  
  4767. Now that you've rescued the game corporation from an eternity in the acid danger zone, the CEO has agreed to give you ONE, keep in mind, ONE special request for you and Hilda as a
  4768.  
  4769. reward for your efforts.
  4770.  
  4771. Currently, you sit in the waiting room outside his office, thinking about what to get.
  4772.  
  4773. >Wish for what from the CEO?
  4774.  
  4775. >TWO YEARS LATER...
  4776. >As in like, in present Nate & Rosa time...
  4777. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wjz7qDsooM
  4778.  
  4779. With one arm wrapped around Hilda's waist under the covers, the other behind your head, and legs entangled with hers, you conclude the story.
  4780.  
  4781. "And so, Hilbert and his princess got their measly wish. Two master-crafted bracelets for them with the move Destiny Bond encoded inside. They cherished them forever, he would
  4782.  
  4783. always hide it under his jacket, and give it a little peck when he needed good luck, and she kept it in her pocket under the excuse that she "didn't want to be seen in public" with it."
  4784.  
  4785. Hilda scowls, "T-That's not what I said! Shut up!"
  4786.  
  4787. "It is totally what you said."
  4788.  
  4789. She slaps you.
  4790.  
  4791. You give her a peck on the forehead.
  4792.  
  4793. However, this moment of cuteness is quickly interrupted by a wave of incoming people hiding under the bed, who have heard the story and each have their share of complaints to bring
  4794.  
  4795. up.
  4796.  
  4797. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTKY2ImIJYY
  4798. "I didn't like it. It was missing something, and it was that the point of view wasn't mine." says Nate, popping out in-between you and Hilda.
  4799.  
  4800. "Was the monster supposed to me?" Rosa asks, "That's not funny! T-That's subtle and m-mean..."
  4801.  
  4802. Hugh pops through the covers, -literally, "THERE WASN'T ANY SEX FOR SIXTY-TWO PAGES!"
  4803.  
  4804. Yancy cutely pops up from the corner of the bed, making sure not to crease the covers, "I-I t-thought it wasn't that bad..i-it was cute actually.."
  4805.  
  4806. Curtis appears next, "If you ask me, I thought it was flawed in every department except the referencing department, that was 100%. Everything else could stand a fine tuning though."
  4807.  
  4808. Cheren slithers out of Hugh's hair for no real reason, lying next to you, "I gotta say Hilbert....That was completely and utterly stupid. Although in retrospect I only say that because I
  4809.  
  4810. wasn't in it sans a brief mention."
  4811.  
  4812. Bianca is next to pop up, "I..I didn't even get a mention....Wait, why are we all here again?"
  4813.  
  4814. It is at that point that N crashes through the cabin window, "WE'RE HERE TO SEX EACH OTHER UP BABY, YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!" he yells loudly. Without another thought in
  4815.  
  4816. his mind, the greasy hippie jumps into the bed, slamming into everyone and causing general discomfort.
  4817.  
  4818. After recovering, you take the time to poke Hilda's cheek, "What did you think about it?"
  4819.  
  4820. Hilda yawns, "It was a dream or some shit, two years ago, hell, I don't know. You....Good imagery I guess, I'm tired. Wake me up when I have to fake the orgasms with these losers,
  4821.  
  4822. Hilby."
  4823.  
  4824. She promptly falls asleep like that.
  4825.  
  4826. >Segment .5 end. [good]
  4827. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4828. The spirit disconnects for the final time, now returning back to its primary home back at the winter cottage in the middle of nowhere..
  4829.  
  4830. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR8_BMN68Ok
  4831. Nibbles the Broken-Down Animatronic Snowman Buddy smiles as he sees you come back from his three-dimensional pentagon, "O-Oh! You're back alraawdy?! Interoosting! I tout for
  4832.  
  4833. shore that you'd took loonger 'dan 'dat..."
  4834.  
  4835. Nibbles pauses to imitate hearing speech from someone.
  4836.  
  4837. "Wot? Wot's that you say it took you a FOOL WEAK over FOR THREADEROONIS to make throo all 'dah segments? Ha ha ha hoo hoo!~ I mawst be getting old in my old age."
  4838.  
  4839. Nibbles tosses the book he's reading into the fireplace so that it'll last longer, "Okay well, so I'm so glod dot we all managed to goose the theme correctly!"
  4840.  
  4841. Nibbles pauses again, that someone is talking to him again, in his run-down robo mind.
  4842.  
  4843. "Wot? Wot's that you say you DIDN'T find out the theme? HAHAHA HOO HOO!~ Well okay then, how's aboot I gave you a few glabooboos to thank aboot 'dah theme? Paws your
  4844.  
  4845. intranet connection now and start thinking!"
  4846.  
  4847. Nibbles jumps up out of his chair and makes a funky pose as the story takes a momentary pause.
  4848.  
  4849. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5PvBzDlZGs
  4850. [PAUSE INTERNET CONNECTION NOW.]
  4851. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4852. [RESUME INTERNET CONNECTION NOW.]
  4853.  
  4854. Nibbles sits back in his comfy as fuck armchair, "Okay wall, did you goose the theme? Dod you? Wall, let's see!"
  4855.  
  4856. "The theme wos [spoiler]each boy getting hurt![/spoiler] Confuzzled to diggerydo? Let's review, hoo hoo hoo!"
  4857.  
  4858. "Red said "Ow." in monotone after Leaf kocked hem. Ethan said "Ow!" after Lyra slammed her wolker on his hand. Brendan said "Ow!" when May's Torchic scorrrched his head, oh my!
  4859.  
  4860. Lucas took it 'dah wurse buhcause he wos literolly blown up alongside Dawn. And Hilbort said "Ow!" when Hallda smacked his head and told hem she wosn't rump-ruptured! The moral
  4861.  
  4862. wos that you must get hurt in order to love, -a bunch of times-, hoo hoo hoo!~"
  4863.  
  4864. Nibbles claps his hands together, "OH WHAT A TREET!~ I'm glod we all got the theme correctly after al- Wait? Wot? Come again- you thot the theme wos the different personalities
  4865.  
  4866. for each gurl?"
  4867.  
  4868. Nibbles breaks out into the biggest fit of laughter ever.
  4869.  
  4870. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
  4871.  
  4872. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! In the few-churr, gurls are all 'dah same, dare's no need for feminism, so it coouldn't be the theme of the story!
  4873.  
  4874. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
  4875.  
  4876. Nibbles wipes his eyes, as they're leaking battery acid, "OKAY WELL, you unlocked the SPACIAL TEESER! And you'll got it soon enough, okay? Well then, until we moot again, hoo
  4877.  
  4878. hoo pun! I am Nibbles and I'll see you again in about...I don't know, after we got a new Mewtwo form and after we got a new Pokemon that I'll be unable to reference at this time of
  4879.  
  4880. writing, A HOO HOO HOO HOOOO!~"
  4881.  
  4882. Nibbles waves goodbye with a smile, and the perspective exits his cabin, overseeing his cozy cottage in the midst of a blizzard, before fading out into black.
  4883. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4884. >DECADES LATER... [After Chapter 39(?)]
  4885. >Perspective back to Nate POV.
  4886.  
  4887. Overseeing Castelia City on its lookout, a considerably older version of you, Rosa, and Hugh sit on the rail, a good drop away from drowning in the ocean.
  4888.  
  4889. It started out as three really, now everyone's gone and it's back to three again.
  4890.  
  4891. She remembered and so did you, admittedly AFTER you had courted her as if neither of you previously knew each other. The night after was spent berating yourselves for being such
  4892.  
  4893. imbeciles.
  4894.  
  4895. He's less of a douche now, and is pretty much the only guy you know you can look for in case of an emergency. Through thick and thin, he's always there.
  4896.  
  4897. What happens to everyone else is irrelevant for the time being. What really matters most is just being here with the two people who were there for you in the beginning.
  4898.  
  4899. In the beginning.
  4900.  
  4901. Through the middle.
  4902.  
  4903. And in the end.
  4904.  
  4905. You look at your bun-angel and the Qwilfish gijinka, telling the two that you're going to go for a quick swim because, well, it's your heyday, and you're going to grow up into an old man
  4906.  
  4907. one day, telling your grandkids as they sit on your lap how you went to hell and back FORTY-FUCKING-TIMES just for a girl.
  4908.  
  4909. And when they laugh and ask why you did it, you can tell them this.
  4910.  
  4911. As your clothes get discarded onto the ground, she marvels at your body with a giggle.
  4912.  
  4913. He is more or less disturbed.
  4914.  
  4915. A policeman runs up to you, shaking his fist and demanding that you stop your public indecency right this instant.
  4916.  
  4917. You give him the finger, adjust your visor, and dive into the water without another care in the world.
  4918.  
  4919. As soon as you surface, you look at your longtime friends with the biggest cheery smile that could possibly ever grace your adult face.
  4920.  
  4921. "You guys coming in? The water's great!~"
  4922.  
  4923. And in the end, that's all that really mattered.
  4924.  
  4925. >end.
  4926. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4927. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDC61QbMf9I
  4928.  
  4929. The blaring sound of a loud helicopter is what disturbs you from a peaceful dream. The helicopter has three cages tied to it, and it's en route to the town's lab.
  4930.  
  4931. Forced awake by the loud noise, you groan. You open the windows to your room, it's a nice day, so why not? It's also going to be the best day of your life!
  4932.  
  4933. Today you get a Pokemon from the Professor!
  4934.  
  4935. As you remind yourself of this information, you run with a smile to the mirror. You certainly look okay, just a change of clothes and maybe tidy up your hair a bit.
  4936.  
  4937. You scurry around the room, performing these tasks as fast as you can whilst your mother yells at you to hurry up, not only because of the special opportunity, but also because you
  4938.  
  4939. have a "visitor" today.
  4940.  
  4941. After getting your things ready, you head downstairs and give your mother a kiss, only for her to remind you that you actually have company today, on this, the day that your whole life
  4942.  
  4943. begins anew.
  4944.  
  4945. She points at a girl sitting in the living room. She's taking pictures all over the place much like any energetic girl your age would do.
  4946.  
  4947. Mom leaves you two to business. Business with someone you don't know.
  4948.  
  4949. You walk up to her, "Uh, I'm sorry, Have we met? How do you know me?"
  4950.  
  4951. She hops up, and eagerly shakes your hand with a bright smile, "That's just it, -we- don't! I'm Miss Leading, a head junior reporter and journalist, and your new employer!"
  4952.  
  4953. "Wait wait, wha-wha-WHAT!? Huh? Miss Leading? What's your first name, why do they even call you Miss Leading to begin with?"
  4954.  
  4955. The girl delicately taps your nose, "Oh, why they call me that? They call me "Miss Leading" because I'm a leader in the area of Pokemon journalism! I lead everyone I see into success!
  4956.  
  4957. See? I got the attire, camera and everything!" she twirls around in her skirt, then adjusts her hat, "I'm sorry I'm so bubbly today, but I haven't had an inferior in so long, I'm usually more
  4958.  
  4959. calm and collected."
  4960.  
  4961. You point at yourself with a puzzled expression, "W-Wait, m-me?Y Your inferior?"
  4962.  
  4963. "That's right! My boss told me to go into town and scout out a beginner trainer so that I may document their lives in a biography that gives all the personal and hardship 'deets with living
  4964.  
  4965. the tough life that all trainers have to go through. And congrats, you're my choice!~ Ergo, that makes me your boss, and that's why you should call me "Miss Leading"."
  4966.  
  4967. You scratch your head in confusion, "Uh...I-I guess that doesn't sound too bad, but uh, what's your first name?"
  4968.  
  4969. "I can't tell you. It's clas. Besides, it would be disrespectful of you to know that. Now, how about a picture for the road?"
  4970.  
  4971. The "elegant" Miss Leading poses with you for a photo, which she immediately tells you afterwards is going to be the cover-page for her biography. According to her, in order to
  4972.  
  4973. completely get into the mind of a trainer, she needs to become one herself, thus explains why the boss is accompanying you.
  4974.  
  4975. It's not even an hour yet into your morning and you are already employed by a classy girl into being her assistant.
  4976.  
  4977. The two of you depart for the laboratory with a skip and a hop, as Miss Leading takes pictures of everything she sees, being that she isn't native to the town, ti's a natural thing for her to
  4978.  
  4979. do.
  4980.  
  4981. From afar, a mysterious cretin spies on the two of you.
  4982.  
  4983. He notices the gleam in your eyes, and the fact that the young journalist with a future most bright has decided to join you in your quest.
  4984.  
  4985. "So...the prophecy has truly restarted once again, has it?"
  4986. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JayNuWZSDs0
  4987. The nightmare begins all over again. October 2013.
  4988. . . .
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