Spider-Shimmer vs. Rhino (short one-shot)

********THIS IS NOT IN CANON WITH MY SPIDER-SHIMMER STORY*********
Also, certain things have been gramatically corrected.
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>I keep my feet still and hold my ground, standing in the street of abandoned and lost vehicles with fretting civilians running from the scene.
>They clamor around me in a frenzy.
>Their attacker doesn’t chase after them; he merely stops whatever he’s doing to stare at me, hunched over, panting with both of his fists clenched.
>He’s huge, like a giant lump of grey clay and muscle, standing over what’s got to be eight or so feet tall at least.
>This guy, let me tell you...
>He’s wearing something all around his body.
>It looks rough but smooth in appearance, the shade of grey along with its texture like an elephant’s hide or a living stone.
>The only part of him not covered in this odd looking costume is his face.
>I register what the costume’s theme is as I look at his forehead: two large horns —— seemingly made of the same material as the rest of his suit —— stand tall and menacingly.
>With the lack of a zipper, I have to question how he was able to put on this strange get-up.
>I chuckle, as anyone else would've too.
>I just can’t hide the laugh in my voice.
“Looks like somebody got lost from the zoo.”
>This massive man, this tower of strength...he’s wearing a thick, solid, rhino costume.
>And it looks ridiculous.
“Lemme guess, you call yourself ‘Rhino-Man’ or something?”
>His nostrils flare in response.
>“The Rhino.”
“I'm sorry, what?”
>“They call me...” he begins to say with a growl; however, I've stopped listening as he starts to lift a frickin’ car —— no, an SU friggin' V! —— grunting as he holds it high above his head.
>His arms barely tremble at the weight.
>“...THE RHINO!”
>He hurls the thing at me with a monstrous battle-cry.
>I waste no time to spring up high at the thrown vehicle, hopping off the hood as both it and I remain in the air.
>I use it as extra leverage for another jump, one where I fling myself forwards so I can punch this rhino-clown right in his grey stomach.
>However, mere seconds before my fist can make contact with his abdomen, my head buzzes.
>Spider-sense tingling!
>But why?


>I don’t have time to stop as I hit his stomach with incredible force, a force that's been increased by my speed and jumping off the car that's now landed on the road with a crash.
>I finally deliver my punch from above, I expect to hurt him.
>I don't.
>Instead, I bounce off of his massive statue-like figure, shouting in pain.
“Agh!”
>My body lands on the pavement of the street right in front of my opponent.
>My spider-sense has stopped tingling and I know why now; it’s simply too dangerous to hit this "Rhino" that hard (or at all) unless I wanna shatter every bone in my hand.
>With the attack from the air a massive failure and me on the street pavement again, I stand back up, hold my gloved fist, feeling it bruise and swell with each pulsing throb.
>Rhino guy laughs as I try making a fist, but only wince in pain.
>He sounds like pebbles in a blender.
>“No chance hittin’ me, Spidey! This rhino skin’s gonna withstand all sortsa your strongness. Ain’t no way o’ ya pummelin’ me to th’ ground.”
>With his huge trunk of an arm, he swipes me up by the neck, nearly crushing my vocal chords if not for my super-human body’s resilience (thank you, super-strength!).
>He starts to choke me.
>His grip is insane.
>“An’ wuzz even better’s that this suit o’ mine’s gunna squash ya up like a lil’ ant, an’ I’ll get away...Then every damn lug n’ town’ll know me as th’ man who kilt Spider-Woman, all ‘cuz o’ this suit...”
>I cough.
“Guess I better get it off of you. Looks pretty tacky anyways. Hey, maybe we could go to the mall, huh?”
>“Bonded to my skin. Gon’ be perdy hard fer ya to take it offa me.”
>I try to scoff.
“Fooey.”
>My head is starting to swell right now.
>I got to escape his hold before I pop like a balloon.
>But how?
>I could try to distract him, maybe?
>I mean, this guy’s certainly no Einstein.
>Heck, I bet he’d even be distracted by turning on children's programming from a TV in a shop window.
>But yeah...that’s not really an option right now.
>Wait a minute!
>Arms —— my arms are still free!
>I could shoot web in his eyes!
>It’d be impossible for him to get it off, right?
>Or, y’know, he’d be strong enough to tear the stuff off his ugly mug with just one hand alone.
>I mean, that'd work if it were a regular robber or something, but this guy's stronger than thirty riled-up gorillas!
>It looks like I’m going to have to think of something that’ll not only guarantee that he’ll drop me but disorients and/or confuses him.
>Yeah, then he’d stumble around and be open to an attack, thus giving me a chance to take him down even if only for a minute.
>As my mind continues racing for ideas, I soon can't help but notice his breath panting against my masked face.
>It’s awful.
>He breathes through his mouth wa-a-ay too much...
>Wait!
>That’s it!
>I crack a smirk under my mask.
“Dude, your breath reeks.”
>Before he can say another word, I raise my arms up towards his face.
>“Whaddya're you--?”
“Here. Have some gum.”
>I fire my web straight into his mouth.
>“AUOUGHK!”
>The Rhino stumbles back, howling, coughing, sputtering out the webbing.
>His hold on my neck relinquishes, allowing me to drop to the ground as he wraps his hands around his throat.
>I land in a crouch, then stand up to regain my breath.
>His face turns green as he attempts to wretch out my web.
>I feel the corner of my mouth lift in a half grin.
“Now that, my good friend, is how it feels to chew 5 gum...”
>“EUGH! OH GOD, IZZAT FROM INSIDES OF YA!? OH GOD, OH GOD!!!”
>Eh, guess he doesn't get it.
>Doesn't matter, I’m back on the ground again, and even better, I have a short-term plan in mind that’ll keep him still for a while.
>See, this guy is really, /really/ big...big trouble, that is.
>Hitting him hurts more than him hitting me, so that means I have to take him down and out through alternative methods as fast as I can.
>If I don’t, I’ll basically be dodging a bunch of his attacks as he destroys the property around us, thus making it look like we’re BOTH menaces in The Daily Bugle and racking up thousands in property damage.
>Basically, I’m looking at what could spread from a single-street brawl to a full four blocks worth of spanning conflict
>And that?
>That’s a big no-no when you’re responsible enough to prevent this from getting out of hand.
>I need to figure out how to get this guy settled down and fast, or else a lot more than the car her threw at me will be trashed...
>Think, Spidey, think!
>How the heck are you supposed to take him down if that impenetrable suit's bonded to his skin?
>In fact, how does that even work?
>I look at my aching hand, staring at it...
>Oh, great.
>Some grey stuff is smeared into the fabric.
>Joy.
>Kind of like flour on your clothes, but it won't come off.
>I sigh.
>Just what IS this suit of his made of anyway?
>...Wait a minute...
>What if...?
>Hm...
>Y'know what?
>I think I know someone who can help me.
>In fact, my plan's now thought through, right on time as the Rhino begins to cough up my gunk — don’t take that the wrong way — and I shoot more webbing at his feet, running in a literal circle around him to tie his ankles up.
>It does.
>He loses his balance in an instant and falls onto the road’s pavement, shaking everything within a fourteen-foot radius of his ‘crash-site’.
>I don’t know if it’ll stick his feet together for too long, but all I need right now is a little time, and this should buy me enough.
>He roars in anger, desperately trying to reach down at his feet to tear off the webbing.
>He's simply too inflexible to do so.
>I chuckle.
>It’s like seeing a turtle stuck on its back.
>Or a tank.
“Well my dear Rhino, I’d call it a wrap, but, uh, yeah, that’s not gonna hold ya forever. So if you could just stay right there, please? I’ll be ri-i-ight back, kay? Kay. See ya!”
>And with that, I run, then jump, leaping a good twenty feet high into the air.
>I shoot a web-line with a powerful ‘THWIP’ and soar away.


.
.
.


>The air blows powerful wind against my body as I swing with elegant grace above the busy traffic.
>I know well to shift my entire weight to manipulate my body's velocity and momentum just enough so that I can dance through the metropolitan skyline almost freely.
>As the hold on my current web begins to loosen at the end of my swing, I let go, and for a brief moment I’m flying —— I am soaring nakedly in the great space of open air between the largest of the city’s buildings, a shorter one’s roof below and near me by about a complete one hundred feet.
>My velocity begins to reach a peak and by natural instinct, I fire yet another line of web.
>I shift my weight properly so that I may propel myself towards my desired location through yet another extravagant swing.
>Being Spider-Woman for a while now, I’ve come to realize it’s hard work web-slinging.
>In the movies, characters with grappling hooks always seem to grab onto something from above, sometimes by chance, and swing away with ease like Tarzan.
>Well, I know better after months of experiencing the real thing first-hand, and I can safely say it’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.
>Web-slinging is not only a means of fast transportation but a calculated, extraordinarily precise procedure that takes strength and skill to pull off.


>You’re always flexing your muscles against the strong pull of gravity and the wind; the G’s that pull you down make it much more difficult so you have to constantly flex your body into the right aerodynamic poses to fit the speed you’re going for.
>Even then, you have to know how to deal with the speeds that you reach whilst swinging —— which, by the way, are very, very high speeds.
>It's these speeds that make controlling where and how you shoot your web and how you flex your body all the more challenging.
>All in all, web-slinging was and is a daunting, strenuous battle against gravity, and without having any spider-senses or the proportionate strength of a genetically altered spider, it's impossible for a single individual to train their body to naturally withstand the forces that come along with the action itself.
>Heck, it even took /me/ awhile to get the hang of it.
>In fact, web-slinging was so challenging that, for a good while, I had these web-pits that'd speed me down and help me glide.
>I don’t really use them anymore; they worked just a bit too well and, in all honesty, I’ve grown to love slinging with all its speed.
>The point I’m trying to make is this —— when you’re soaring freely, it takes an effort not to fall, and soon enough it becomes enjoyable.
>You may take that as you will.
>Oh.
>Wait.
>The lab.
>Almost forget about it.
>I shift my body's angle to the window of a taller building.
>It’s old, but the inside is always new with ever-improving scientific equipment, better programs, and great funding.
>It’s one of the last scientific centers left that dedicate itself for one thing and one thing only: helping the men and women of tomorrow.
>What am I doing here, though?
>Well, let's just say that have a friend here from, er, past ventures.


>I land on the window as I’ve done many times, and see my friend jump behind the glass, startling at my sudden arrival.
>I wave as he approaches the window with a playful role of the eyes.
>“Afternoon, Spidey,” the good doctor says.
>He’s a man in his mid-forties, a father and a husband —— and a former war medic.
>He was also a reptile sometimes, but that’s a funny story that goes way back.
>Point is that he’s a dependable friend and just as good of a teacher.
“Nyeh, what’s up, Doc? How’s it goin’?” I ask, extending my right hand out for a handshake.
>He raises a brow at me with a stiff frown, lips pursed.
>At first I don’t know why he does this —— did I catch him at a bad time? —— but then I see his lack of a right arm.
>I wince, recoiling my hand back, as I scratch the back of my head.
“Uh, sorry, Doctor Connors. I just got in a fight with this big rhino-guy, and, uh, I’m kinda still feeling a lotta adrenaline, y’know? So, uh, I’m kinda, well, um...”
>The doctor’s frown wavers, the straight-face beginning to unsettle.
>It breaks as he then laughs boisterously.
>“Pfft! S-sorry! Ha ha ha! Just —— whew! —— just joking! Don’t worry, Spider-Woman, it’s all good. Playful joke, heh.”
>I sigh with a light laugh, still being careful.
>“Phew. Man, I thought you were going to punch me for a second. Sorry.”
>“Oh, nah, it’s okay. Truth be told even I forget about my arm too. Just becomes a silly after a while. Gotta have humor over these sorta things. It’s the only way you can get over them sometimes...the only way to deal with that coldness. Sure you can waste a lot of time on a solution, but you’ll never get over it,” he says.
>He then follows it with a wink.
>“But not as easily at least. I think I’ve finally learned that thanks to you. That was the real solution.”
>Yeah, and he learned the hard way.
>It’s why his family lives all the way down in good ol’ Florida as he stays up here.
>They visit a lot, though.
>I’ve always admired how they can be so distant from each other, yet there love and closeness remains as tightly-knit as the days they had when they all lived together.
>Kind of like me and how I left Eques...tri...
>...I change topics in my mind.
>I have a situation to deal with.
“You’re absolutely right Doctor Connors. Oh, and speaking of solutions, I could really use your help right now...”


>“Oh? How so?” he asks, tilting his head just slightly to the right in thought as his left hand rests on his chin.
>I shrug.
“It's weird. Big guy in a Rhino costume. Whatever his suit is made of is really tough. It makes it impossible to get him hurt.”
>“You’re strong though, right? Can’t you just—— ?”
>I pull off the glove of my left hand —— the one I tried to punch the Rhino with earlier —— revealing how bruised it is.
>Having seen it without the glove on, I can now truly witness how bruised it looks.
>Doctor Connors winces.
>“Oh gee...”
“Yeah, I can't really hit him. Hurts too much. I can't constantly dodge him either because then I risk tearing up the entire block.”
>“Hm, I see. What do you need me to do? I could make an acid to eat the suit of his away. Would that work?”
>I shake my head.
“No. No acid. This suit he’s wearing is bonded to the outer layer of his skin —— /chemically/ bonded. I don’t know what it’s made of but...”
>I handing my glove to Doctor Connors.
>He studies it with a look of confusion.
>I’m not sure if he notices anything, so I flat out state what it is to him.
“The knuckles,” I tell him.
>“No, no, I know what it is, I see it, it’s just...interesting.”
>As he stares at the gloved hand I tried to punch the Rhino with, he sees how the knuckles and how they are smeared with something powdery and fine, yet somewhat moist enough to leave a mark by keeping the powder in the fabric itself.
>It’s the same grey as Rhino’s suit.
“Do you know what it is? Type of rock maybe?”
>“Possibly,” answers Doctor Connors, “but I’m certain that it’s —— synthetic skin.”
>He hums in thought.
>I am confused.
“Synthetic skin? So it’s not some sorta metal or stone?”
>“Well, maybe. Here,” he says, snapping on a latex glove with his teeth.
>With his gloved fingertip, he scoops up the grey powder from the ‘stain’ and studies it closely.
>He nods.
>“Yep. Synthetic skin. Slide, please. They’re on the counter. I could use the microscope too.”
>I nod, bringing over the microscope first, plugging it in, and then retrieve a slide.


>In my two hands, I hold it steadily as Doctor Connors places the grey powder to the center of the slide.
>It sticks to it successfully.
>“Alright, now keep holding it. I’m going to apply some blue color to it,” he says, and again bites the wrist of his latex glove, this time to pull it off.
>When he does so, he tosses it into the garbage and retrieves the blue coloring from a drawer.
>I continue to hold the slide as he adds just a tiny, tiny drop to it.
>“You can put on the slide cover and place it under the microscope now,” he says.
>I do just that, and Doctor Connors studies it carefully.
>“Huh. How long ago was this ‘sample’ taken?” he asks in a murmur, still focusing his microscope.
“About ten minutes ago at most,” I shrug. “Are you sure it’s synthetic skin?”
>“Make that /cloned/ and synthetic skin. The keratin nanofibers and skin tissues are a mesh made to work with one another. It’s similar to a study I’ve done using cloned skin cells of different types of fauna to make more eco-friendly materials. You know, instead of plastic, silicone, latex, and more harmful substances to the planet and all that. We thought about using cloned animal hides alongside synthetically grown tissue for protection too. Think about it like this: your son goes out on his bicycle, and if he gets hurt, he’d have a helmet as strong as a whale shark, knee-guards made of home-grown armadillo shells...You get the idea.”
>You nod.
“And this is the same thing?”
>“Somewhat. It certainly has the same flaw we had. See, the skin dies and dries easily without a circulatory system to keep it alive. What’s different here is that this right here seems to be able to function if it were to be merged with something circulating. It needs oxygen, blood, but other than that it’s just powdery skin off a giant callous. The only way I can see this functioning is if it were——”
“Bonded to one’s skin?” I say, interrupting him.
>“Exactly. But here’s the even weirder thing: it’s NOT just made out of cloned and synthetic skins...it’s merged with stone.”


>I raise my brow at this, though he doesn’t see it.
>Cause, y’know...mask.
“So this guy has fake rhino skin that’s like a rock? Jeesh. Next thing you’re going to say is that it’s radioactive.”
>“No, no radioactivity. It's not fake skin, though. It’s synthetic in origin only, but, well, it also comes from cloned tissues——rhinoceros tissue specifically. If this guy you're talking about kept himself properly hydrated, this stuff may as well be an extension of his own skin! So much so that the cellular structure has self-replicating capabilities a lot like my own, ah, genetic experiment from a while back...”
>This us fascinating.
>Whoever made this rhino dude’s costume made some sort of polymer out of all these materials—organic materials with actual cloned DNA.
>Sounds as complicated as reading Sanskrit upside-down while seeing double.
“Doctor Connors, um, any chance we can get rid of this weird skin thing? Like, can we separate the chemical bond? Introduce a catalyst that’d make a reaction with the polymers to get this stuff off his real skin?”
>“Introducing a catalyst that'd react to the synthetic skin...you know, that might work with the right stuff. Care to help?”
>I smile under my mask.
“Sure thing. Lemme put my hair up.”


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>I swing back to the location I left the Rhino at, and, unsurprisingly, see him running up and about, throwing a tantrum.
>I cling on the top of a shorter building on this block, away from his view as I observe him in his intense rage.
>He throws cars, shouts my name, and declares that he’ll tear apart half of town if it means he’ll find me.
>Several police cars pull onto the scene, the trio of red and blue sirens blaring loudly.
>“Ohhhh, now we’re in fer sum fun,” says Rhino with ferocious glee.
>He chuckles maniacally and grabs a street-light by it pole and growls.
>He’s trying to pull it out from the ground —— like uprooting a massive tree!
>The sirens turn off as the three police cars’ doors slam shut.
>Six officers step out, five of them wielding their pistols, one holding a megaphone.


>“Sir, you’re under arrest! Put your hands in the air —— above your head —— and get down on your knees! If you try to harm us, we WILL shoot!”
>The Rhino scoffs.
>“What? Ya quacks think ya can take me in, huh!? Pfft! An’ people say it’s me who’s th’ idiot!”
>Then, the street light is torn from the concrete ground.
>He carries it like a giant bat.
>“Wanna play a game o’ baseball?” he asks with a demented smile.
>Next thing I know, the Rhino is prepping for a swing as the cops waste all eight rounds on the guy.
>The bullets didn’t do a thing.
>Rhino’s about to swing and will probably kill the officers if I don’t do something!
>I can practically see him murmuring the famed words on his lips: BATTER UP.
>This has gone on far enough.
>I leap from my hiding spot on the top of the short building behind him and land on top of an already destroyed car.
>The crashing sound of my landing captures my foe’s attention.
>He whirls himself around to see me wave at him playfully.
“Well, well, well! Been quite the busy boy I see, huh Rhiney?”
>Rhino looks at me and grins.
>He drops the street light like a dead weight and stomps towards me on this car.
>I cringe at the sound of his cracking knuckles.
>“An’ here I wuz, thinkin’ ya’d be too chicken to come back.”
“You? Thinking? Ha. Sure you were. Nice try though.”
>And with that, it’s like I have ignited gunpowder, because next thing I know, he’s charging at me, horns ready to impale him some Spider-Kebab.
>I immediately leap over him and onto the street as he tramples the car I was perched on and rams his head into the building behind it.
>Brick, shattered glass, and wood rains down heavily upon him, a whole room above practically crashing down with tremendous weight.
>This pisses him off.
>“Ya dumb bitch! Who d’ya think yer dealin’ with here!?”


“I dunno, at first I thought you were just some furry on steroids,” I answer as if it were truth.
>He comes running back into the street, throwing a punch aimed at me.
>I dodge it swiftly, continuing to talk.
“But then you started talking and I thought you were maybe some homeless guy with no grammar. I mean, seriously dude. Your grammar. It is beyond bad.”
>“RAUGH! STOP TALKIN’! STOP!”
>I scoff mockingly at him.
“Oh please, Rhiney! This is probably the first time someone’s talked to you in months, let alone a girl! Don’t pretend you don’t like this.”
>His face turns red with fury and embarrassment.
>“I SAID STOP! STOP IT STOP IT STOP!!!”
>Rhino smashes his fist into the ground, shattering the road like an Earthquake tearing apart the street.
>My balance is godly, so, well, I don’t stumble, trip, or fall.
>He hates this.
>So, yeah, I think I’ve played around enough, though.
>Road repair on this is gonna be a bitch.
>Not very neighborly of me to let it get worse.
>So-o-o I get the solution I’ve stored in my little ol’ spidey-belt from the lab, and dab it on my wrist.
>If Doctor Connors is right, it should alter the webbing I shoot to...
“Hey, Rhino, sweetie? I hope you got underwear on under that thing.”
>He raises his brow.
>“Wha——?”
>I shoot my web at him, specifically all over his body.
>Unknowing of its chemical change, he laughs.
>“I toldja! Ain’t no way yer webs strong ‘nuff to...to...”
>He looks down at his hands and gasps, seeing that the webbing I’ve fired is melting away not only itself...but part of his costume.
>“What the!? Wuzz goin’ on here!?”
>Eventually, Doctor Connors and I’s solution/catalyst starts to molecularly tear his suit apart.


>The Rhino looks on in horror as bit by bit, piece by piece, synthetic and cloned skin crumples into a fine, grey powder —— much like the one that was stained on my fist from earlier.
>Eventually, he’s in front of me, totally naked for the entire world to see.
“...”
>“Are ya starin’ at my——?”
“Yes. And I’m not impressed.”
>He hangs his head in shame before a punch renders him unconscious.
>I dust off my gloved hands, placing them on my hips.
>I did good.
>Sure, this street’s taken some abuse, but the main damage is only on the road itself.
>The buildings aren’t too bad —— the one Rhino crashed into will need repairs, though —— and I succeeded in preventing this fight from spreading for more than a single block.
>Responsible, helpful, and heck, I even got some solution left for the next time some schmucks like Rhino stick their ugly heads out.
>Not bad, Sunset.
>Not bad at all.




And that's a wrap, true believers!
THE END