Muffins and Oatmeal Part 1

> Day 97 or 98
>You don’t really know why you keep track anymore, it’s not like it matters.
>You’ve been living life in Equestria day to day doing what you pleased and today was going to be no different.
>Other than the fact that you had work at Sweet Apple Acres today you have no other plans.
>Have to make that bank after all.
“Guess that means I should get up then…” >You sigh quietly.
>It takes several additional minutes of self-coaxing to pry you out of bed.
>Now in front of your bathroom mirror you lock eyes with the man-beast in front of you.
“Holy shit” >You chuckle.
>Guess this has been coming a while now…sigh... Alright then, let’s do this!
>One epic shit, mediocre shower, and life changing shave later you step back to the mirror with new found vigor.
“Oh why hello there good lookin, what you got cookin?” >You suavely attempt to pick yourself up.
>Creep levels: Spaghettipalooza
>God you need to get help…
>After walking down stairs while contemplating suicide for that monstrosity of a pick-up line, you sit down at the table with your breakfast.
“Oh boy… cereal again”, >You mumble.
>Suddenly there’s a knock at the door.
>Ugh… it begins…
>You yank the door open already mid-sentence.
“What do you want today Flutter…Ditzy?”
>Your taken back by the grey mare standing in front of you as you were already preparing yourself for an onslaught from yellow quiet.
>“Hiya Anon, I have some mail for ya!”
“Oh well thanks Ditzy, how are you and Dinky doing?”
>“We’re doing just fine” She says while smiling ear to ear.
>God that’s cute… wait what?
>“Ya know, you’re gonna have to come by sometime, Dinky has been talking non-stop about you lately.”
“Aww that’s cute, I may just have to.”
>~Grumble Grumble~
>Shut up stomach, I know your there.
>“Oh I can let you go to eat if you want Anon.”
“Oh it’s nothing special just some cereal anyways” You sigh out perhaps a bit too femininely.
>“Hmmm” she puts a hoof to her chin.
>“If you came by today I could show you how to make my special muffins.”
>Food Boner Achieved, Do It Faggot, DO IT!!!
>Your stomach is literally doing barrel rolls at this point.
>Ditzy’s muffins are the best you have ever had.
>You flashback to the day she came by on Hearts and Hooves Day with a card and muffin for you.
>Practically made you cream your pants with each orgasmic bite.
>And Dinky had made you that diabetes inducing cards of her mother, herself, and you all holding hands/hooves in a big heart.
>So much Hnnngh for one man to handle.
>Snapping out of your daydream and back to reality you see a puzzled Ditzy looking at you.
“Really, you would show me how?!”
>“Yea, I don’t see why not?” She grins.
>“It will be so much fun, and Dinky has been wanting to see you again anyway.”
“I have to let you know Ditzy; I’m not exactly the best at cooking, you pout slightly.”
>“Oh that’s no problem, I can teach you how” she tilts her head to the side and smiles.
>Is she… Blushing?
“Well geez Ditzy, I don’t know how to thank you.”
>“I’m sure we can think of something.” She says while winking.
>Bro I think this pony digs you.
>Yea, I’m getting that same vibe too penis.
>After an awkward moment of silence Ditzy snaps from her daydream and notices she has lost track of the time.
>“Oh Gosh! I just don’t know where the time went, I gotta hurry!”
>“I’ll see you later Anon!” she manages to get out before smacking into a tree limb.
“Oh shit, you alright Ditzy?”
>“Ouch… I think I’m okay, I’ll catch ya later!” she squeaks out in her embarrassment, now as red in the face as Big Mac.
>Now chuckling to yourself from the cuteness overdose you turn around to go back to your cereal.
>But it seems as though fate is relentless this morning.
>~knock knock~
“Ugh… NOW it begins.”
>Wonder what she’s going to try today, door now half open you see the yellow devil.
“Fluttershy I really wish you would just stop trying to guess my fetish, I have told you like fifty times now I don’t even have one!”
>Now locking eyes with the yellow mare you can tell she has already started up the waterworks.
>Aww really?! This shit isn’t even fair!
>~sniff sniff~
>“o..ooh g..good morn.. morning Anon..” she manages out between breathes, bottom lip now quivering while she fights back tears.
>Ugh this game blows man…
“Look I’m sorry Fluttershy; can you just calm the waterworks down some please?” You ask in one of your finest picked sweet voices.
>She becomes quiet and closes her eyes, takes a few deep breathes and then smiles.
>“Good Morning Anon.”
“There we go much better, now what was it you wanted?”
>“Oh I just wanted to see how you’re doing, better make sure my Big and Cute friend is all taken care of.” Emphasizing her adjectives with winks and a sultry voice.
“Hah well I’m doing just fine” ~Grumble~
>I told you I know your there stomach just give me a damn second!
>Uhh hey bro, look at that…
>Look at what?
“Umm Fluttershy, are you okay?” Now refocusing your sight on the yellow assailant.
>Fluttershy’s eyes are now the size of baseballs just filled to the brim with what looks like realization and hope.
>“Anon you’re hungry; I can make you something real quick if you’re hungry!” She quickly blurts out.
>Damn you asshole, you couldn’t hold on like five minutes?
>Sorry man, just the muffins got me all excited.
>It’s alright man, me too… Me too…
“Umm I’m actually fine, I have cereal in the kitchen and uhh…”
>“Oh that’s not a good breakfast for my sweetheart!” she interrupts.
>“Let me go make you something.” Now off in her own world.
“Fluttershy…”
>“Oh but what should I make?”
“Fluttershy!”
>“Oh I know I can make some oatmeal real quick you’ll absolutely love me for.”
“I’m okay, I’m going over to Ditzy’s today after work anyway and she is gonna show me how to make muffins.”
>“Oh…” Her ears go flat and she mumbles something under her breath.
“What was that?” Cocking your ear closer.
>“Why…want…learn cooking…that derpy grey… anyway…” is all you can make out as quiet as she said it.
>Frankly that’s all you had to hear, nobody bad mouths your friends.
“FLUTTERSHY!!!”
>“Eep!” Is all she got out before retreating back behind her mane.
>Oops… too much maybe?
>~sniff sniff~
>“I...I…I’m s...sorry… Anon…” sounding like she is fighting tears back again.
>Yea, too much asshole…
“Fluttershy…hey look at me… I’m sorry about that…” you reach out and put your hand to her cheek.
>Oh wow it’s so soft, and warm too.
>She looks up at you tears welling up in her eyes.
>“Anon…” she coos.
“Yea, what is it?” You quietly reply.
>“Is being an emotional rollercoaster your fetish?”
>…
>~snap~
“WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”
>Before you even finish screaming she is long gone.
>After a couple more screams you finally make your way back to your meager meal of Applebloom Crunch.
>~Grumble Motha Fucking Grumble Son~
>I know, I know, food now or you’re gonna shit in my blankets at night.
>You scoop up your first bite and shovel it down your gullet.
>Your eyes go wide with despair and rage.
“Oh Fucking Come On!!”
>The bowl of cereal now hurtling towards the sink plunks down with a solid thunk.
>After all the one think you hate more than the idea of Fucking Fluttershy is Soggy Cereal.
>And with a scowl on your face that would match the rage of /v/, you make your way to Sweet Apple Acres.
>Hopefully today can’t get any worse…
End Part 1