Clown PSA

Hello v4c RipandTear here with a Public Service Announcement

Halloween is just around the corner and all manner of spooky shit has been going down as of late.  I am of course talking about the disturbingly large amount of clown sightings across north America.  While these makeup clad jesters may seem funny make no mistake, clowns can and will kill if they get the chance.  I'm here to provide some info and tips to help make sure they don't get that chance.
Some important things to know about clowns:
1.  Clowns are masters of stealth.  Contrary to what you might think, despite those enormous squeaky shoes clowns are capable of evading attention for as long as they please and too often when you manage to see a clown, its because it wants you to see it and its often too late for you at that point.
2.  Clowns can warp reality.  Clowns can make use of numerous items to bend the very fabric of our universe to their will.  Banana peels that can cause cars to slip and careen off the road, water spray from a flower that can melt skin and horns that can leave a victim permanently deaf we believe this is achieved through some form of ancient arcane art derived from the unholy power of the deity from which all clowns are spawned, The HonkMother.

With that out of the way here are some tips to keeping yourself safe from Fibonacci's finest.  Clowns expect their prey to be fearful of them and usually kill from the back; if you see a clown, lock eyes with it and maintain contact, stand your ground and pray that the clown leaves you be.  However be aware that in rare cases clowns can hunt in packs, make sure to keep an eye on the initial clown, if you see it honking its horn away from you, its communicating via morse code with its fellow clowns.  In the event of this maintain eye contact, and back away making sure you don't move into an area that makes it easy for them to flank you.
Finally if the clowns charge there is only one thing you can do.  Fight.  Hit and strike as hard as you can, making sure to aim for vulnerable spots such as the nose or stomping on their toes.  Pulling one of the buttons off of their suit can cause their suspenders to fall down granting you the opportunity to escape.

Don't give up, don't loose the fight.  And remember, the clown cannot honk, if you disable its hand.