CRITICAL HIT ANON!

>Day Critical Hit in Equestria
>You are Anon, master of beating the shit out of things.
>Wake up.
>Begin battling  the shit out of the bed post for getting in your way.
>Swing at the bed post but miss.
>The bed post jabs at you and hits you right in the rib cage.
>Recover and summon all of your strength.
>Unleash your iron-like-fist upon the bed post.
>The battle is over and you have won.
"That'll teach you, beeyotch."
>You say spitting on the broken bed post.
>Finish your triple S and need nourishment.
>You had grown fatigued after trying to fight the water in the shower for being too cold.
"Ain't nothin' fuckin' with me!"
>Grab a bowl of cereal and begin munching down on the sugary goodness.
>Suddenly there's a knock interrupting your kick-ass meal.
"It better not be who I think it be."
>You say with bad grammar.
>Open up the door and sigh heavily.
"It be."
>"H-hello my love."
>You have no patience for this mare.
"What do you want Fluttershy."
>"What I want every day. Your dick and love."
>She says smiling.
"You shall get neither."
> Begin closing the door.
>She puts her hoof in front of the door before you can fully close it.
>"No. You're going to love me, I'm not letting you get away."
"Yeah? And what are you going to do."
>Suddenly Fluttershy punches you and you're sent flying back into the wall.
"What. The. Fuck."
>You say through gritted teeth trying to fight back the pain.
>"I'm getting what I want."
>She says while approaching you.
"Like hell!"
>Charge at Fluttershy and double tornado kick her in the chest.
"Hell yeah!"
>Your victory is cut short when Fluttershy rams into your stomach, knocking the wind out of you.
>She pins you on your back.
>"Now I have you."
>She tries kissing you, but you move your face out of the way.
>Kick your legs up sending her off you.
>Get up.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
>Start yelling at the top of your lungs.
>Your booming voice begins to shake the entire house.
>Suddenly you feel even more powerful and a blue aura begins forming around you.
>Fluttershy takes notice of this and does the same.
>A green aura develops around her.
_______________
>15 minutes later.
_______________
>You and Fluttershy are still yelling.
>Then at the same time you both begin charging at each other.
>When you meet in the middle it's like a freaking Jackie Chan movie.
>Both you and Fluttershy are furiously throwing kicks and punches.
>Both are blocking the attacks and returning their own.
>This continues for 3 more minutes until Fluttershy kicks you in the face.
>Your down on the ground, you're hurt.
>Don't know if you can keep fighting.
>Fluttershy begins walking towards you.
"I-is this really the end?"
>Passout.
>Wake up, or so you thought.
>You're in a white void.
"Am I dead?"
>"You're anything but."
>Turn around to see the face behind the voice.
"Grandma!?"
>Run up to hug her.
>She smacks you.
>"What the fuck are you doing? Letting some yellow slut kick your ass."
>Your taken aback by her words.
"I-i'm sorry Grandma."
>"Don't you apologize, I should be the one saying sorry."
"Why?"
>"I didn't mean to raise you to become a pussy."
"Grandma?"
>"What? Oh sorry my hearing aide doesn't pick up pussy talk."
"I ain't no pussy!"
>"Then prove it, bitch."
"I will you old whore."
>"Big talk for a man with a little penis."
"I told you. I'm a grower not a show-er."
>"Whatever pussy."
"You always do this."
>There is silence.
>You and your Grandmother break out laughing.
"I miss you Grandma."
>"I know you do sunny, but do me a favor."
"What's that?"
>"Knock that bitch out."
>Your brought back to reality.
>Fluttershy is stand over you.
>"Finally my prize." She says smiling and grinding on your crotch.
"Not today."
>You hop up off the ground and begin beating the shit out of Fluttershy.
>She tries to block but can't.
>You keep kicking and punching her.
>The blue aura comes back, but this time brighter and only surrounds your fist.
"I love you granny."
>Right when you say that you launch your fist right into Fluttershy's face.
>"CRITICAL HIT!"
>A voice from nowhere yells.
>Fluttershy flies through the wall of your house and doesn't stop until she twinkles in the sky, team rocket style.
"Finally. I can rest."
>You say slumping over to the couch.
>Today was alright.
END