Manonymous Part 1: Anon VS Shining Armor

>Oh lord everything hurts
>Been a while since you were this banged up all over the place
>Systems check go
>Arms? Still there. Check.
>Legs? Feeling hasn't gone. Check.
>Pulse? Well, you're not dead, so... Check.
>Still got your backpack? Good, it must have helped to break your fall. Check.
>Right that's everything important. Now, ears... What can you hear?
>You can hear... Buzzing. A lot of voices. Some sound curious, some sound scared.
>Okay, good. Ears work. Now, how about your brain? What's the last thing you remember?
>Taking a walk... Down to... The river? Yes, yes, the river... To... do some sketching! Yes, that's it...
>There, there was... Something on the path. Something that shimmered, like a... a hole in the air.
>You tried getting closer... And all of a sudden... The hole became a vortex of light.
>It drew you in, took you by surprise... No time to grab hold of anything, no time to think and no time to run.
>So now the question is...
>Where did it take you?
>The final check should answer that: eyes.
>You try cracking them open, but the bright sun overhead blinds you and forces you to squint.
>It also lets you know that you're currently upside-down.
>You grunt with discomfort and shift your hands to cover your eyes as you adjust to the bright light, and you hear several gasps around you.
>"It's moving", "What is it!?", "Is it some kind of animal?"
>A few voices, closer to you than the others speak up. "Fluttershy, do you recognise this creature?" "Um, n-no Twilight, I'm sorry. This is completely new to me."
>Fluttershy? The hell kind of a name is that?
>You decide now would be the best time to speak up and see if your voice still works or not. "Sorry to interrupt this conversation, but would you kindly help me back on my feet?" Few cracks as you talk, but nothing too unusual.
>The crowd around you thinks different however. There's even more gasps than before, and lots of shocked whispering.
"I'll take that as a 'no'."
>"Right, enough of this", you think. "Let's get a proper look at these gawkers." You force yourself upright with lots of protesting from your battered body and shade your eyes from the sun as you get your first good look at the inhabitants of the crowd around you.
>The first thing that strikes you is the sheer variety of colour. It's like you landed right in the middle of a pride parade, only with less assless chaps on display.
>The second thing is that your gawkers aren't human.
>Surprised that wasn't the first thing you noticed (and it really should have been).
>Third thing is that there's a lot of broken bits of wood around you. Explains the soreness. You must have been launched out of that portal pretty fast.
>You push yourself up on your feet and stand, dusting yourself off as you get a better look. They're all rather small, only about 3 foot high. Looking at them in more detail, some have horns and wings.
>Good God
>You've landed in a fairytale land
>Maybe you're dead after all
>Looking around, you get a good idea of the town you've apparently crash landed in
>All of the buildings are made out of wood, nothing concrete or metal in sight (except for some old-fashioned lamp posts)
>Hell, you're even standing right outside a tree house
>Not a hut up in some branches though, nope, somebody actually hollowed out the entire tree and repurposed it as a building
>A lot of staring and whispering is going on as you check out the little town you've landed in
>It's starting to weird you out
>You clear your throat and call out, "Can anyone tell me where exactly I am? Anyone? Anyone at all?" you glance around, looking to see if anyone's willing to respond.
>Fortunately, today's your lucky day. A purple unicorn (you guess it's a unicorn at least, it has a horn) steps forward hesitantly before plastering a friendly smile on its face.
>"Umm, hello! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and you're in Ponyville. If you don't mind me asking, what--?" she goes to continue, but you cut her off.
"Nonononono, I don't want the town's name, I want the name of the country. Or planet. Whichever is fine. Either one."
>She looks a little put-off by your interruption, but answers you anyway. "You're... In Equestria at the moment."
"Never heard of it. Fan-tastic. Alright, next question: ever heard of a planet called Earth before?"
>She raises an eyebrow. "Ummm... No, can't say that I have... Wait are you saying you're from another planet!?" her voice goes up with excitement.
"Maybe. Right now, I have no clue where I am in relation to where I came from so I can't say for sure."
>More muttering from the crowd. Some look disbelieving, some look in absolute awe of you. You crouch down to look the purple unicorn in the eyes.
"I'll be blunt here, miss... Sparkle, was it? I'm not here willingly. The only thing I can say is that I came here by pure random chance and don't want to be here any longer. I want to go home. I NEED to go home. Can you help me?"
>Twilight seems surprised but perks back up again quickly. "Oh, of course! I don't know much about space-time rips myself, but I know the perfect pony to help!"
>You smile. It looks like at least you crash-landed among nice, uhhh, ponies
"Thank you Twilight. We really cannot move fast enough as far as I'm concerned." You want to get home soon. Especially since it's close to that day...
>You haven't missed it once yet.
>You hope you can keep that trend going.
>Twilight is beaming now. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure the Princess will be able to help!" Wait, Princess? Is that who she's saying could get you home? Is meeting royalty really that easy in this world?
>"And it'll take a couple of hours by train for us to get to Canterlot, so we'll have plenty of time to talk! I'd love to hear about the world that you came from."
>"Hold up there a second Twi!" An orange pony wearing a stetson steps out of the crowd. "Ya really wanna take him straight up ta the Princess? I get that it's an alien, but couldn't ya just look it up in yer books or somethin'?"
>"Applejack, I'd remember if there was anything like... this... In any of my books. And there's nothing, not in all my exotic creature tomes. And not even Fluttershy recognises what it is!"
>"I-it's true. If it was from anywhere around here, I would know it... Um... I think... that is..." The yellow pegasus paws and stares at the ground as she speaks, only occasionally glancing up.
"Excuse me, I'm a man, not an animal. And a he, not an it." You butt in for a second.
>"... Man. Got it", Twilight corrects herself.
>You suddenly become aware of another unicorn, examining you very closely. How she got so close to you without you noticing, you're not too sure. This one has a mane and tail, purple against her white coat, that looked like it only took as much work as the Sistine Chapel to maintain.
>"Ugh, I can't imagine there's much to learn from this... man, if this is what fashion from his home is like. So... Rough and unkempt." She shudders.
>Well fuck you too, white-fancy. It's just and ol jacket, some track pants with a hole or two in them, and sneakers with the soles wearing out--
>Okay, you look a LITTLE like shit. Especially after the crash you just took
>Twilight just laughs and shakes her head. "Don't be silly Rarity, I'm sure he'll have a lot to tell us! Right?" she smiles at you, looking hopeful.
>Man was not built for such amounts of adorableness
>Another pegasi starts to zoom around you, this one blue with a rainbow mane. Must be dyed. You think anyway. She looks you up and down, then gets right into your face and stares you right in your eyes
>"Hmmmm... Doesn't look too impressive if you ask me", she says, looking skeptical.
"You're literally half my size, and I'm being called unimpressive?" you ask, staring the skittle-coloured pegasi right back, lifting an eyebrow.
>"Hey! I may be 'half your size', but I guarantee that this Rainbow Dash is a million times cooler than anyone you've ever met!" she strikes a pose in midair. Well, at least she's confident.
"I dunno, there's some pretty awesome people back home..." You lay on the sarcasm as you scratch your chin, pretending to be deep in thought, before you're distracted by a pink blur.
>A pink, poofy bundle of energy is now bouncing around you in a circle. Good lord this is a twitchy pony, and she has a helluva grin plastered on her face
>"Ooh! Ooh! What's your name? Do you like parties? What am I saying, of course you like parties, everyone likes parties! Okay then, I'll throw you a special "Congratulations on being the First Alien in Ponyville" party! I'm gonna need a cake, streamers, balloons, helium, music..."
>Oh God she talks at a mile a minute
>Twilight notices your mouth hanging open at this and laughs. "Don't worry, she's always like that. Just being Pinkie Pie."
"Pinkie Pie... Right. So, this Princess of yours... you think she can help?"
>"Of course! Princess Celestia is the most powerful magic user in all of Equestria. If she can't help you, nopony can!"
>A sentence perhaps meant to calm, or impress you. It just makes your heart sink. If she can't help you...
>... Nobody can.
>"You certainly had convenient timing. There's a train for Canterlot leaving in half an hour, and it should take 25 minutes to get to the station.
"That is convenient. So, which way?"
>"Just follow me. You girls wanna come along?" she looks at the other 5 that are the only ones to have dared approach.
>Well, Fluttershy still looks like she's working up the courage to look you in the eyes. But everybody else is fine with you.
>Applejack sighs. "Welp, might as well go with ya. Just in case there's trouble along the way."
>Rarity flutters her lashes. "Oh darling, please! Any excuse to visit Canterlot!"
>Rainbow Dash lands and considers. "Well, I do have afternoon off from Weather Patrol... Guess I might as well kill time in Canterlot with you guys."
>Fluttershy keeps looking away and pawing at the ground. "Ummmm... I guess that's fine... I mean, if it's alright with you... I'd l-like to go."
>"Then it's SETTLED! Oooh! We can have a welcoming party on the train! I'll get some cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie streaks off behind a lamp post and then just vanishes.
"Is she always like that?"
>"Yeah."
"Do you ever get used to it?"
>"No."
>The five lead you to the train station, chattering all the way. Somehow, Pinkie managed to arrive ahead of you, carrying a box full of cupcakes in her mouth.
>This pony doesn't obey the laws of physics.
>The train would be more comfortable if you didn't immediately bang your head on the roof the instant you tried to stand up straight.
>Looks of concern from some of your group, and a snigger from Rainbow.
>The seats weren't quite made for legs of your size either, so you're forced to take up two seats and sit with your back to the window just to get comfortable.
>As the train makes its way to Canterlot, you get some introductions and information about the world you're in.
>Each pony takes it in turns to tell you their names and what they do for a living.
>And Twilight explains about the Princesses. When you hear what they're capable of, your mouth drops open.
"They... They control the sun... And the moon!?"
>"Well, yeah, don't you have somepony that controls your night and day cycles as well?"
"Of course not! The idea that anyone would be capable of moving such things is ridiculous!"
>"But... if nopony controls the sun and moon, how do you control when it's night and day?"
"Same way we control the weather: we don't. It just happens."
>"WHAT!? You don't have any weather control either!?"
"No! And stop sounding so surprised! The fact that you can do these things is the incredible stuff here, not the other way around!"
>After a brief explanation of how weather, the seasons, and day and night work, the six seem awed.
>Well, okay, Twilight looks awed. The other 5 range from mildly interested to bored silly.
>They also start to learn a bit about you
>How you were an artist that did sketches of landscapes and people that caught your eye
>Rarity and Fluttershy both perked up when they heard that, and insisted on seeing some of your work (Rarity insisted anyway. Fluttershy mumbled a request and an apology in one sentence)
>You pulled them one of your filled books out of your backpack to look over and did a quick sketch of Pinkie Pie. When you were done, she bounced around the carriage gushing about how amazing it looked. You don't know what keeps that mare going, but you could probably make a fortune out of it.
>Fluttershy seemed content to pour over your sketches with a small smile, but Rarity keeps on talking about the "boldness of the lines" and the "incredibly realistic shading".
>It looks like you've made a few fans already. Maybe this world isn't going to be so bad.
>The train ride is fairly uneventful. Rainbow Dash asks you to draw her in an awesome pose, Twilight quizzes you about Earth and you quiz her about Equestria while Pinkie eats all the cupcakes.
>The streets of Canterlot are something else compared to Ponyville. Filled with smells of fresh pastries, shops with fine art, ponies in high-quality clothing...
>... All of which cannot seem to stop staring at you.
>Great. You're a freak in this world. That's annoying.
>Fortunately, it's not a long walk to the castle.
>The guards try to stop you from entering at first (completely understandable), but the girls manage to convince them that you're no threat
>Curious. They have some pull here with Royal Guards?
>Even more curious: they need guards at all in this world? What from? How do the guards fight? With magic? Are their weapons like Earth's weapons?
>You can't get the thought out of your mind
>The inside of the castle at least is a lot more spacious than the train. The roof seems to be at least 20 feet high. No worries about bashing your skull open here.
>The 6 continue to lead you further into the castle, taking a few twists and turns. You suspect it would be easy to get lost here.
>After a good 10 minutes walking, you finally reach what looks like the throne room
>It's quite an impressive affair. With what looks to be a ceiling that's 30 feet high, and a long and wide hallway with stained glass windows depicting various events
>And at the end of it all, a grand throne, that looks to be three times the size of your new pony friends
>And sitting upon, a much bigger pony, with both wings and a horn
>A glorious multi-hued mane with a shining white coat
>Wearing a crown, necklace and other very royal-looking accessories, and a soft smile on her face, the very picture of regal kindness
>This must be Princess Celestia
>[NO SHIT SHERLOCK]
>Shut it, brain
>She stands as the 7 of you approach her throne, and the 6 in front of you sink into a bow, while you take a quick look around before following suit. After all, this is the pony that can send you home, better show some goddamn respect.
>"Arise, my ponies." Does that mean you should stand back up too? Might as well, everybody else is doing it.
>"Twilight Sparkle. How can I be of assistance to my star pupil today?" she says softly. Twilight had told you she was something of a teachers favourite to the Princess, but hearing it straight from her is different to just hearing Twilight brag about it
>"Princess Celestia, we've brought you an... Unwilling traveller. Of sorts. The man, Anonymous."
>The Princesses gaze switches to you, and you look her in the eyes.
>In an instant, you feel something icy piercing you straight through to your soul. You suppress a shudder, and the cold look in her eyes gives way to the calm smile once again.
>The fuck WAS that?
>"I see him, my student. And what is it that this man requests from us?"
>"Your majesty, he wishes to return to his world. He was not brought here on purpose. Is there anything you can do?"
>The Princess frowns, then looks back to you. "That is a truly difficult request. We do have the power necessary for such a task..."
>You perk up. "So it's possible to send me back?"
>"... However."
>There's always a 'but' isn't there. And 'however' is just a fancier 'but'. Your heart sinks.
>"We need to know three things before we can do so: whether your travel was dimensional, temporal, spacial or some combination of all three, and following that, the time period from whence you came, and the exact location. Finding such information Will be a monumental task, even for our brightest minds."
>So that's it then. Straight from the horse's, uhhh, pony's mouth.
"So... a 1 in a billion chance."
>"I am afraid so."
"Better than I feared, worse than I'd hoped. As long as it's not a 0% chance... Then I will definitely get back home", You say with some determination.
>The Princess smiles warmly at you. "Never fear. We shall do everything in our power to help you. Now, Twilight Sparkle!"
>"Y-yes Princess!"
>"The portal appeared in Ponyville, yes? We cannot overlook any connection that it may have with the location. Therefore, you shall be assigned to research it and its potential properties. You shall be granted access to the restricted Chronomancy wing of the Canterlot library for these purposes."
>"Yes Princess! Thank you for the opportunity!" Twilight seems ecstatic at having something to research.
>"And I'd also like you to take care of our guest, Anonymous while he stays in Equestria. Perhaps teach him about our world, and we may learn something about his in return."
>This one takes her aback, but she recovers quickly. "Of course, Princess."
>You look at the small purple pony and smile. "Looks like I'm in your care for now, Twilight."
>"I'll do my best to make you comfortable." She smiles back.
>Oh god there goes that face again. Man would get diabetes at the sight.
>"Anonymous." The Princess speaks to you directly this time. "As our guest in Equestria, all you have to do is ask for something, and it shall be yours."
"Anything?"
>"Within reason."
>The gears in your head start to turn. Those guards... How do they fight?
"I'd like to request a spar with your strongest available warrior, your highness."
>A pause, a shocked silence. Then a simultaneous "WHAT!?" from your 6 companions.
>The guards in the room start to shift and mutter among themselves quietly.
>Princess Celestia's face registers surprise for a mere moment, before returning to an unreadable poker face. "And why, may I ask, do you request such a thing Anonymous?"
"Just for some exercise. I need to make sure that my body still works the way it did back home and the portal didn't mess anything up. And I'm curious as to how a pony'a fighting style would work. I'm a little intrigued!" You smile innocently at the princess.
>Her poker face remains. There's a tense silence for a few moments.
>Then she nods.
>"Very well. I will grant you this request." She signals one of the guards over to her, and tells him, "Bring Captain Shining Armor here, would you kindly?" The guard gives a terse salute and marches off.
>Celestia faces you again. "Captain Shining Armour is our finest magic knight. I think he should be more than enough for you to test the limits of your body."
"Thank you very much Princess. If you will excuse me, I'm going to do some stretches to prepare." You give a slight bow then take your backpack off and hold it out to the group of still-stunned mares.
"Excuse me, but could I get one of you girls to hold my bag until this is over?"
>"Uhh, sure thing sugarcube..." Applejack walks over nervously before taking the bag in hoof (how does that even work?)
"Thanks Applejack", you smile at her before turning around and starting up a routine of stretching. Don't want to pull any muscles in your spar.
>"A-Anonymous... What are you doing!?" Twilight seems to have gotten over her initial surprise.
"Stretching. It'll help prevent me from pulling any muscles and warm me up."
>"That's not what I meant! Picking a fight on your first day here? And in front of the Princess? With my BROTHER!?"
"My opponent's your brother? Oh, right, not the point. Anyway..." You sigh and shake your head. "Twilight, I'm not picking a fight with anyone. I'm just going to be getting some exercise! I'm sure that your brother can hold himself back well enough to stop anyone from getting hurt. And so can I! Just relax. This won't take long, promise." You try smiling, but she still seems uncertain.
>"Well... So long as nopony gets hurt. And it's just for exercise!"
"That's the spirit!"
>She relaxes and smiles again. Dear lord that face, there must be a fucking diabetes epidemic on this planet!
>Soon enough, you complete your stretches. A bit awkward with the jacket on, but you don't want to show off your secret underneath quite yet.
>And shortly after that, the guard returns, being lead by a male unicorn with a very flashy vest, covered with badges and medals. "You called for me, Princess? Oh, hey Twiley!" He grins and waves at Twilight. A surfer drawl. How do ponies get a surfer drawl?
>"Captain Shining. You may have noticed our... unusual guest."
>The unicorn looks over at you, sitting with your back against the wall. You raise a hand in greeting. "Hi."
>"Uhhh... Is he... Causing trouble, your Majesty?"
>The princess laughs at this. "No, Shining. He's requested a light spar with you in order to get some exercise."
>"A spar? You mean, he wants to fight me?" Shining looks surprised but not particularly shocked. And a little worried?
>"Yes. Just enough that he can ensure he's still moving fine after a cross-dimensional trip." She senses the worry on Shining Armour's face and reassures him, "I'll stop the fight if I feel it's going too far."
>He's still looking worried, glancing between you, the Princess, and then Twilight. He finally bites his lip and nods.
>"Alright, your Majesty. I'll do it."
>You stand and stretch out your back as Celestia nods. "Shining, Anonymous, would you take the center of the floor please."
>The two of you stand opposite each other in the middle of the throne room. Shining looks apprehensive, but you keep calm and smiling as you take up your stance.
>The guards and the 6 all back right up against the walls.
>Odd
>Almost like they expect collateral damage
>There's a moment of tense silence
>And then, the Princess speaks
>"You may begin"
>You start slowly, closing the gap between you and Shining, testing the range with a few jabs.
>He doesn't back down, and his horn starts to glow with purple energy
>When you're close enough, you slide forward, throwing several lefts, remembering to hold back somewhat. Shining manages to avoid them all with ease and stares straight at your left leg
>Sensing danger you step away to the right, and not a moment too soon either. There are pieces of broken flagstone where your foot was a second ago.
>Seem like Shining Armour has trouble restraining his power. That would have completely broken your foot. Maybe make you unable to walk without a limp.
>You push those thoughts out of your mind as you try a stronger right punch. No good: A magical force-field materializes from the side you launched your attack.
>The barrier feels like punching iron. You can tell from the impact that you don't stand much chance of breaking through it. Probably one in a million.
>But it's not a 0% chance, is it?
>A barrage of left punches and kicks slam into the barrier. If there's one thing you're proud of in your lefts, it's their speed, even if their power is lacking. Shining grits his teeth and jumps back out of your reach before lowering his shield. Before you can close the gap and continue your attack, his horn charges, and he disappears in a burst of purple light.
>Shining quickly reappears on the opposite side of the throne room, and throws several of the basic bolts in your direction.
>You manage to predict their path from where he's looking and close the gap by moving forward while dodging carefully
>Before long, your fists and feet are slamming back into the force field
>You focus almost entirely on lefts, and can see Shining Armour starting to get frustrated
>He must be unable to cast more than one spell at a time. Guess there's a difference between a unicorn battle and a fist-fight that he's not used to. All he can do is wait for you to slow down
>Not that you plan on slowing down. You have an idea on how to get around his field.
>You circle around to Shining's right side, faking a hook aimed at the body
>The barrier follows your fist
>Which means it ignores your feet
>You take your chance, shift your gravity and throw a swift left kick at Shining's head
>Unfortunately, he noticed when you started to pull back your fist, and manages to lean away
>Your shoe barely scrapes his cheek as it swings past
>You curse mentally and plan on starting up your assault again
>Shining has a different idea
>You finally notice his eyes
>And there is a shit load of anger there
>He probably hasn't been pushed this far in a physical battle before
>His horn is glowing brighter than it has so far
>And he's staring straight at your heart
"SHIT--" you raise your arms up to protect your chest
>"SHINING ARMOUR!" Celestia has noticed the danger herself, and yells out.
>Far too late
>A force like a thousand bricks slams into your arms
>You feel some of it slip through a gap between them and into your ribs before you reclose your arms
>You're launched backwards, off your feet and tumbling along the stoneworked floor before landing face-up, splayed out on the floor several feet away from where you were launched
>Wow...
>Holy shit.
>What power.
>He's so strong.
>You've never fought something like that before.
>He's got the immovable object for a defense and the unstoppable force for his weapon.
>But...
>You're still conscious
>Your odds of victory aren't 0%
>You can still fight
>You WANT to keep fighting!
>You want to see more and more of what this guy is capable of!
>And you want to know if your fists can match up to him
>Now you can hear voices. Twilight is yelling. Shining Armour is stammering something out. Nothing from Celestia.
>Time to let them know you're still in one piece. You start to chuckle, thinking about how you can coerce Shining into continuing the fight.
"Heheheheh..."
>The yelling stops. You can feel several pairs of eyes on you.
"Hahahahahahaha!" You sit up, still chuckling and shake your head. "Not bad... Not bad at all. I felt that one right to my bones. Good shot Shining, really great shot!"
>Shining Armour looks at you and says, "Y-you're still conscious... But I hit you with almost everything I had... How...?" He looks a little scared. Good. Scared is good. Puts you at an advantage.
"Almost everything is apparently not enough to stop me. You're gonna need to give a little more next time. But, as much as I'd like to, we have to sort something out first..." You put your hands in your pocket and start walking back to where the fight started, the middle of the throne room. Celestia is watching intensely.
"You fouled against me Shining Armour. I held myself back to prevent any injuries like we agreed at the start, but you hit me like a bulldozer. I think I'm owed compensation for you breaking our deal. That's only fair, right Princess?" You glance up at Celestia, still watching you with unreadable eyes.
>"She nods. "Indeed, that is only fair. I must apologize for my Captain's lack of control. What is it you wish, Anonymous?"
>You grin. A great, fierce grin.
"I want us BOTH to stop holding back in this fight!"