MLG PRO RANKING STRATS FOR MONKS

Hellfire ASSult

AoE shit

Fel reaver

One shot it because thats a level 70 mob from Bc

Stupid pet rock

use soul cap hope it procs and chi burst the hands.
Remember mechanics are just distractions for dps that you can just assume someone else will do.

Assfire nochill

Put on that tryrant trinket and wait for fel rage. Went on a healer? just sit in reap because you just lost
Git Gud.

Blindass bitchrogg

Ignore the fact that you weren't put in visions grp because you're a WW monk and just steal someones spot
didn't get in? try again otherwise just stand in front of the giant arrow and "accidentally" wipe the raid

Fatass Mcdonutsouls

Just assume you're supposed to break everyone out instantly and cleave those bitches
tank add? throw a clone at it and forget
feast time?
did soul cap line up with ring?
No? just take all the souls going to the boss using cds to maximize wipe chance and try to git gud

Shadow lord pecker

Disregard mechanics acquire AoE

Socks locked in car eternally (leave me alone stupid names are hard to come up with on the spot)

phase 1?
Fuck that add dps boss
phase 2?
Spam the boss until the ghosts get close then chi burst them
what that you say? soul cap went off and hit the immune boss for half the damage? play a new class you unskilled fuck

Fel lord Zoo tycoon

Befouled? ignore it
seeds? ignore it
fissures? ignore them
did soul cap proc 100 times?
yes? give that boss some boots to cover up those carpet burns on his knees from that rough fuck you just gave him
no? Taunt the boss and reset because if they didn't call for it they should have.

School is whack

Mirror of the blademaster
Mirror of the blademaster
Mirror of the blademaster
Mirror of the blademaster
Mirror of the blademaster
Storm, earth, and fire
get mad when the raid doesn't carry you through the end bit of the fight.
as always mechanics are secondary concerns. they only serve to distract you from big dicking

Tyranntosaurus bitch

Disregard everything cleave adds
pop touch of karma and strafe
Reset if soul cap hasn't procced at least 3 times per phase
Git Gud

Punk ass that already got axed in the head

convince your guild that demo locks are stupid and you can do imps with chi torpedo
wipe and then blame your guild for being terrible

Solomon Archimondy or King kong Archimundy

ignore everything that isn't the back of a giant demon things foot. if it isn't 100x your size its irrelevant and just cleave it and forget.
if you don't get the procs you need just jump in the slime because you're already lower then trash, you're the shit that trash throws out.


Ok you've done it for sure lets go check those rankings