Tanis and the Lotion

	Everybody sat around the Christmas tree, laughing and giggling, giving and receiving gifts, warmth radiating from the fireplace and snow falling outside on this perfect Christmas morning. The trees swayed with the wintry breeze outside as you gazed out. You felt a tap on your shoulder, and turned. Standing before you was the bandage clad figure of Tanis, the mummy. She stood, smiling up at you, one hand twirling some of the wrappings that made up her “hair”, the other hand behind her back.
	“Hi Anon.” she said, averting her gaze.
	“Hey, Tanis.” you said. “Merry Christmas.”
	“Merry Christmas.” she said. “I got you this.” She handed you a big square shaped present. “I know you like music...but I don’t know much about it. I just asked the guy at the record store what I should get.” A sheepish smile crossed her face as you opened it. “I don’t know if it’s the type of stuff you listen to…” You tore off the last of the wrapping.
	“Hey! Hot Rats?” you said, looking down at the cover of the Frank Zappa record. You looked up at Tanis. “I love Hot Rats!”
	“Really?” she asked, unable to stifle her smile. “Maybe we could listen to it together or something.”
	“Yeah.” you said. “Thanks a lot Tanis.” You out the record down. “I got you some stuff too.”
	“Really?” she asked, kneading her hands. “You shouldn’t have.” You took the two gifts you had for her.
	“Well, I did.” you said, holding one out to her, and hiding the ‘big’ behind your back. She excitedly took the box and unwrapped it. Her baby blue eyes scanned the box, and her smile gradually faded.
	“...Lotion?” she asked softly.
	“Yeah!” you said. “It’s like, some fancy stuff. They used some rare type of Aloe Vera from some remote island or something and…” Tanis’ eyes were growing glazed and watery. “Tanis?”
	“...Thanks.” she said, forcing her trembling lips into a smile. She wiped her eyes. “I-I’m just gonna go to my room…”
	“But, I—” she ignored you and kept walking. “Tanis?” you called as she scurried out of the room. You shook your head.The room was silent, no festive chatter at all. “I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong?”
	“What did you do, Anon?” Sibella asked, with a scolding tone.
	“I don’t know. I just gave her a gift.” you said.
	“What was in it?”
	“Some snazzy lotion.” you said with a shrug. Sibella’s eyes widened. Winnie and Phantasma started giggling, while Elsa just shook her head.
	“Lotion, Anon?” Winnie asked.
	“Yeah...what’s wrong with that?” you asked. She kept laughing at you.
	“You’re so stupid sometimes.” she said.
	“Anon.” Sibella said with an urgency in her voice. “Imagine that I had a little bit of, like, upper lip hair that I could never really get to go away, and I was really self conscious about it.” You nodded. “Now imagine you got me shaving cream for Christmas.” You silent for a moment, contemplating.
	“...I see my mistake.” you said. “But that wasn’t even the main gift, that was a side gift!”
	“What’s the main gift?” Phanty asked.
	“A book that she likes.”
	“What book?” Elsa asked. You took a second to remember.
	“The Myth of Sisyphus.” you said. “It’s old, I found it in an antique store.”
	“Well, just go apologize and give her that, you dummy!” Sibella said.
	“Alright, alright.” you said. “But where’d she go? This place is huge.”
	“Just go to her bedroom.”
	“And where’s that?”
	“In the cellar.” You brow creased.
	“You make her sleep in the cellar?”
	“We don’t make her, that’s just where she sleeps.” You shook your head.
	“Whatever.” you said. “I’m going.”

----------

	You stepped into a room in the back of the Grimwood cellar. Inside was only a sarcophagus propped up against the wall, a table, a old, decrepit looking gramophone, and a lone white glove, lying on the ground. Must not have been the right room, although the sarcophagus must’ve meant you were close. You began to close the door.
	“Hello?” a muffled voice said. You stepped back in.
	“Tanis?” you asked, followed by a moment of silence. You heard the sound of her heaving the sarcophagus door open. She peeked out, scowling, but her eyes looked down at the floor.
	“What do you want?” she asked, wiping her eyes.
	“I came to apologize” you said. “I didn’t mean to insult you.” She took a step out of her sarcophagus and sat on the table.
	“Really?” she asked incredulously.
	“Really.” you said, sitting next to her. You set her gift and the record down next to you. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head.
	“Well, even if you didn’t know...I don’t have dry skin, Anon.” she said. “I’m dead, gutted, embalmed, and mummified. You can’t fix that with lotion. You can’t fix any of it.” Another tear slowly rolled down from her eye. “Except for the dead part, a little bit. I fixed that.”
	“Hey, don’t cry.” you said. “I don’t want to make you cry.” You wiped away the tear, but it stuck on your fingers like tree sap. “...What is—”
	“It’s honey.” she said, wiping the rest of it away. You looked up at her, some golden liquid pooling in her eyes.
	“...Your tears are made of honey?” you asked. She nodded.
	“I got embalmed with honey, and with the resurrection magic…” she shrugged. “I cry honey now.” You touched your sticky fingers together and shook your head.
	“You’re amazing, you know.” you said. “Crying honey…” Her lips, which didn’t look all that dry or dead to you, twitched up into a smile that she wasn’t able to suppress.
	“Thanks.” she said, looking at her knees.
	“I have another gift for you.” you said.
	“Oh yeah?” she asked. “What is it? Pumice so I can grind off all my dead skin?” You chuckled.
	"Why don’t you open it and find out?” you said, handing her the gift. Her smile grew as she took the gift and hastily unwrapped it. She gasped when she saw the cover.
	“Oh-oh wow!” she said, before turning her eyes on you beaming. She opened it and flipped through the pages and looked at the inside cover, and gasped again. “Anon! A first edition? How’d you get this?” You shrugged.
	“I found it at an antique store.” you said. She giggled and bounced up and down.
	“I can’t believe it!” she said, hugging you with all the strength her slender arms could muster. “Thank you, thank you!”
	“Don’t worry about it.” you said, patting her back. “So, you wanna go back upstairs?” She backed out of the hug.
	“...Not really…” she said, looking down at the book. She smiled. “I have an idea!” She hopped off the table and grabbed Hot Rats. She took the record out, placed it on the gramophone, and knelt down next to the glove, poking it. “Wake up, Hand.” she whispered, and the glove sprang to life, shaking itself out as if it’d simply been asleep. “Can you spin the record please?” The hand saluted, took hold of the lever, and began spinning. Slowly, the first track, Peaches En Regalia began, and sped up until it was at it’s correct tempo. Tanis hopped back on the table, and lay on her back, peering up at you with her blue eyes, her hair wrapping splayed out beneath her head. “Can I read to you?” You smiled.
	“Sure.” you said, laying back next to her. She turned onto her side and faced you.
	“This might get a little dreary.” she warned with a smile. She took a deep breath and began. “‘Preface:’”
	Soon after, you'd both fallen asleep.