Quotes I've seen/want to tose

10/21/21: But I don't think I have to fart?

??/??/??: I’VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. CINDER FALL’S A GREAT BIG MEANIE-PANTS. SHE SNEEZED ON MY DANG SANDWICH. THAT’S RIGHT, SHE TOOK HER STUPID SCAR-RIDDEN MAIDEN NOSE OUT, AND SHE SNEEZED ON MY PRECIOUS SANDWICH! AND SHE SAID HER NOSE WAS “THIS BIG” AND I SAID “THAT’S DISGUSTING.” SO I’M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM. CINDER FALL, YOU’VE GOT A SMALL NOSE. IT’S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER. AND GUESS WHAT? HERE’S WHAT MY SCHNOZ LOOKS LIKE! BOOM! THAT’S RIGHT, BABY! ALL POINTS, NO SCARS, NO PIMPLES. LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO NOSTRILS AND A SNIFFER. SHE RUINED MY SANDWICH, SO GUESS WHAT? I’M GONNA RUIN THE PLANET. THAT’S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY SUPER LASER SNEEZE! AHHHHH-CHOO! EXCEPT I’M NOT GONNA SNEEZE ON THE PLANET. I’M GONNA GO HIGHER. I’M SNEEZING ON THE MOOOOOOOON!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, IRONWOOD? I SNEEZED ON THE MOON, YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE SNOT DRRRRRROPLLLLLETS HIT THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET! NOW GET THE HECK OUT OF MY SIGHT, BEFORE I SNEEZE ON YOU TOO!
- Salem, probably