Tommy: Hey.
zylime: hey
Tommy: What's up?
zylime: nothing much, im eating a sandwich from subway atm
zylime: you?
Tommy: Just eating some toast.
zylime: lol aw
zylime: i hope its yummy toast
Tommy: It's cinnamon toast.
Tommy: It's not bad.
zylime: nice
Tommy: Do you know when you'll be able to pay me back that money you owe me?
zylime: I can pay you now
zylime: want me to send you a check?
Tommy: Well originally I was waiting for the next time you wanted me to come see you, but I haven't seen you since September.
Tommy: So maybe that would be best.
zylime: to be honest im a little worried
zylime: i feel like youre getting prepared to just shut me out
zylime: which is ok i guess if thats what you need
zylime: but i hope you dont shut me out forever
zylime: like tying up loose ends like with the pictures and the money
Tommy: I'm not shutting you out. But I am realizing that you are never going to want to be with me again.
zylime: its way less definite than that
Tommy: I thought things would be a lot different than they are right now. Either with us as friends or as lovers.
zylime: im nervous to have you stay with me
zylime: thats the only reason we haven't hung out
zylime: i miss spending time with you
zylime: but i also hate how it always turns to how we can't be together anymore
zylime: the conversation turns to that
zylime: or the thoughts turn to that
zylime: i really care about you
Tommy: I don't know. The way you've treated me while we've been apart has honestly really fucking hurt.
zylime: every time you bring up not being together hurts
Tommy: I've tried so many times to be in your life in any way.
zylime: but we're not ready
Tommy: But I can't be your best friend any more, you've made that clear dude. Julia is the one you want to spend time with, not me.
zylime: youre making me feel like the bad guy when i try so hard to do the right thing
Tommy: I'm just telling you how I feel.
Tommy: I'm sorry if that hurts you. But I can't keep bottling it up.
zylime: leaning on another friend is literally the most healthy thing i could be doing
zylime: this is the exact fucking reason that i cant be around you
zylime: because we just hurt each other
zylime: and i keep waiting and hoping that it gets easier
zylime: and its just the same thing over and over
zylime: i care so much about you
zylime: i want to be in each others lives
zylime: i want to give you hugs when youre sad
zylime: and make fun of all the idiots with the one person who i've met whose gone through some bad shit like i have
zylime: but its this same thing
zylime: over and over and over
zylime: maybe it is better if you shut me out
zylime: maybe itll make it easier to care about each other in a certain way
Tommy: You just left things so open ended. That killed me. I had no one to lean on after you broke up with me, and I know you couldn't be there for me, but that fucked me up.
zylime: youre allowed to be mad at me
zylime: but im not a fortune teller
zylime: i did the best i could with the information i had and the feelings i felt
zylime: and whether or not you have other people to turn to does not factor into how i feel about you
Tommy: I just can't keep holding out hope that one day you will feel better about being with me.
Tommy: After how you responded on Valentines day and seeing you go to a place that was very special to us without me, I just can't see you ever wanting me again.
zylime: then dont
zylime: i think im having an anxiety atatck
zylime: im freezing up and i dont even know what to say anymore
zylime: i have to go.
zylime: have a nice night
Tommy: Okay.
zylime: so
zylime: fucking
zylime: callous
Tommy: I'm sorry.
zylime is now Offline.