/mlp/ satyr stories: Ishkibble

>"Daddy, can you tell me a bedtime story?" Yuzu asks you ask the glow of the sun swells on the horizon.
>You chuckle. "Aren't you a little old now for bedtime stories?" Before she can even try to give you those flying fox pup eyes you cave. "Well, what story would you like to hear?"
>She brightens. "I wanna hear a story from earth!"
>You laugh. "Wouldn't you rather hear a story from Equestria? A lot of Earth's stories are sad." You said, running your hand through the batpony hybrid's hair while she shakes her head.
>"Earth has the best stories! And I can read Equestria stories anytime at auntie Twilight's place."
>Nodding, you relent. "Uh, let's see... King Arthur? Cu Chulainn? How about Hercules?" You ask as you sit back, digging through your fading mental archive.
>"I know those stories, dad. I wanna hear something new!" She bounces, sitting up, you put your hand on her chest and push her gently back down, chuckling.
>"None of them are going to be new, dear, they're all very very old." She pouts, puffing up her cheeks.
>"I know that, dad."
>"Alright, alright, let me think..."
>Ah, you have one. Perhaps one of the most important ones.

>"This is a very ancient story from Earth. Very old, lemme see if I can remember it... Let's see... How did it go? Ah." You snap your fingers. "Gilgamesh was the King of Uruk, a great and powerful king of a powerful nation."
>Your daughter craned her head up from her pillow, wings fluttering in excitement.
>"But for all this, Gilgamesh was not satisfied. He wanted more and more but didn't know what, and his frustrations befell his subjects. He tormented them. He made them angry. And so, they cried out to the Heaven's; 'send us a companion for our king! Spare us from his madness!'"
>Yuzu brightened. "So Gilgamesh didn't know the magic of friendship?"
>You shake your head, laughing at your daughter's surprisingly asute summary. "Yes, often times we lash out because we find ourselves alone in this world." You say as you begin to recall your beginnings in Equestria.
>"Enkidu; a Wild Man from the forest, was created by the gods in response to the cries of the people." You say, closing your eyes and remembering Yuzu's mother, a rough and tumble batpony, raised more by the forests around the batpony village than the village itself.
>"Enkidu entered the city, he fought Gilgamesh in the Temple. They fought in the streets."
>You remember those days, the belligerent sexual tension between you and her led to more than a few open brawls as you got on one another's last nerves. Or maybe it was just belligerence?
>"Gilgamesh defeated Enkidu."
>You didn't. She kicked your ass.
>Hard.
>"They became great friends."
>Or rather she began stripping you naked with her teeth and- Uhh, not now, memory boner.
>"Gilgamesh and Enkidu, together had many adventures together. But one day, they went out into the desert and found the Great Bull of Heaven, slaughtering men by the hundreds."

>Yuzu might remember this part, if it was you and her mom you were talking about. But the saddest part is you know she doesn't. Four year old girls forget event dragons attacking.
>"They gave chase to the beast, and Enkidu caught the Bull by his tail, and Gilgamesh struck it with his sword!"
>You were not so brave as Gilgamesh, maybe if you had...
>"They were victorious. But, Enkidu fell to the earth, struck down by the gods."
>More like struck down in the death throes of a great beast...
>"And Gilgamesh wept bitter tears, saying 'he who was my companion through adventure and hardship is gone forever...'"
>You finished your story, swallowing a lump in your throat and holding back the tears in your eyes. You look and see Yuzu, drifting off you sleep and smile. Leaning over, you kiss her on the head and wish her goodnight.
>As you leave, you hear from her: "Enkidu must have protected Gilgamesh from the Gods. Just like mommy did for you, daddy. So don't be sad."
>Slowly, you nod, and step out from the room, immediately resting your head on the wall next to the door, shoulders shaking as the memories came full force.

~~~

>Be Kaos
>Today's father's day, and all around ponies and satyrs alike celebrate it with their father
>Everyone except you
>Your father, the spirit of chaos; Discord, vanished from the world when he thought he would hurt you
>But leaving was what hurt you the most
>Dammit, thinking like this always drives you to the drink
>You reach out blindly on the table next to you
>Feeling bottle after bottle after bottle, each one empty
>When you feel the distinct heft of a full one, you pull it towards you and pop the cap off
>Just as you're about to the opening to your lips, you remember your drinking problem and stop
>Not even the best microbrewed cream soda would help this
>But thankfully, you don't need to open your mouth to enjoy food.
>You set the bottle down, stare at the contents, and snap your fingers as you feel the cream soda fill you
>or rather it fill your bladder without any filtering through your digestive tract
>You proceed to rush to the bathroom, throwing Timber and Mumble out to use the toilet and scream as the fizzy bubbles are like razor wire going through your urethra
>Time to see Twilight about this drinking problem of yours

~~~

>The Ponyville Laundromat
>Today was laundry day
>For everyone it seemed.
>Hope was waiting for her clothes to dry while playing on the old arcade machines
>Alex was complaining that the manager still hadn't put in a pool table
>Mumble and Timber were in their underwear with Muddle who was teaching them DnD
>Pogo was crying because he didn't have enough quarters for both his laundry and the vending machines to throw a makeshift party
>And because he mixed something red into his whites.
>And Simmer was bobbing his head to Sabaton, and his sister was bobbing her head to the Dan Hibiki Podcast
>The list went on and on.
>"Okay, not a single one of us owns their own washing machine?" Rory suddenly spoke up, confused.
>"It seems like it." Dawn shrugged.
>"It does feel pretty perplexing." Eventide looked up from her novel. "I mean, doesn't the Ponyville castle have a washer dryer? Or what about you and your family?" She looked to Dawn, her brother, and two cousins. "Isn't there one in the palace or at least a closer laundromat in Canterlot?"
>"And you know what's weirder? We're all doing it on the same day!" Rory looked around.
>Fiddle and Faddle bounced up. "We have an explanation for that! Well, at least with us."
>Pogo, having recovered from his party withdrawal nodded. "Yeah, mom and dad do laundry today with the Cakes. They also wash the sheets, and as you might guess from my siblings..."
>"They need to do that a lot, and with a lot of sheets." Fauna explained.
>Having lost the game, Hope now shrugged and explained herself. "Well, Alex and I was only allowed to come here on this day because it was the least busy day when the old manager was a racist prick and didn't want us disturbing the other customers."
>"AFTER he removed the outright ban and Hope and I took turns waterboarding him in his own toilet."
>Several expressions could only be summed as the emoticon D:

>"Why's everyone so shocked?" Alex looked around, curious, quickly losing interest in her own game.
>"You TORTURED the previous owner of this place?" Irissa asked, clinging to her older sister.
>"That's kind of badass, actually." Icarus chuckled and was elbowed by Prism. "What? C'mon, it totally is."
>Selena stepped forward, her expression dour. "Both of you do realize there are laws against such things, correct?"
>Hope chuckled. "Yeah, against PONIES, remember? It took ten years and and the princesses having their own satyrs to extend the protection to all Equestrian citizens. You guys are all too young to remember the bad old days."
>"But we were a living frontier!" Alex jumps in front and makes karate chops. "Back in those days, it was just me, Hope, and our parents versus the world!"
>Hope struck a pose along side her 'battlesister'. "The long stares becoming glares, the prickling on the back of your neck as your instincts whisper their hostile intents!"
>"The bullying in the schoolyard becoming bloody brawls! Hooves flaying, little fillies and foals trying to trample us..." Alex waved her hands theatrically through the air. "And we kicked each and every one of their asses!"
>"Tha's... Horrible!" Darcy gasped, covering her mouth.
>Hope shrugged. "Well, that was life back then. Ponies were talking about how satyrs were 'the embodiment of denegeration in Equestrian values', that Alex and I 'heralded the beginning of a new race who would topple the traditional order!'" Each time Hope quoted, her voice became booming and exaggerated. "We even held up in the old CMC clubhouse and made it our 'base of operations' and became a two satyr war council where we 'plotted the downfall of our oppressors'." There she goes with those air quotes again.
>"It sucked back then, but in hindsight it sort of had its own fun." Alex laughed. "I mean you guys all get a bit of a thrill out of doing what you're not supposed to, and it makes being the obidient child kind of boring. But imagine if just living was sort of something naughty you did, going to the store, anything and everything. It made everyday kind of an adventure, and as long as Hope and I had eachother, we felt we could take on the world. Still got your old beret?"
>"Yep. Even had it washed today." Hope reaches over to her fresh laundry pile and pulls out a small Beret with a hoof, a fist, and a clenched talon in a point-side-down triangle. "We never would get our cutiemarks like other ponies, so we made our own symbol to show how much we loved the small things in life."
>Alex smiled. "Whether it was the day Icarus was born, marking the two of us as no longer alone..."
>"Or just spending each night with our families or drinking sodas together on hot summer days in the clubhouse."
>"We cried on eachother's birthdays when not a single other pony would show up at our parties, and cry again for joy when the other showed up with a gift. It was all we needed."
>"Sisters for life." Hope said with a grin and fist bumped the Alex. "So all of you just remember, no matter how hard and tough things can seem, you'd be amazed what wonderful things can come from them."
>Alex smiled, thinking of her father. "Whether it's being lost in a new world but finding love."
>Hope looked up wistfully, remembering the day she met Alex each covered in bruises. "Or a bullying pushing you to meet your best friend forever. Life will always yield treasures."
>Now the laundromat of satyrs all had a very different expression, one Shining Armor would have dubbed as 'liquid pride'.

~~~

>Some years ago, there was a little girl crying in the corner of the school yard.
>Some years ago, that little hybrid laid on her side, sobbing at a pain from both inside and out.
>The skin was broken in many places, bruised in more, and she was blind from the swelling and tears
>Some years ago, that little satyr was crying because her mother and father trusted her with something precious and now it had been lost because of bullies
>A precious something to reassure her, even when they weren't there, they were with her.
>And without it, she felt alone
>Some years ago she looked up and begged for someone to take her loneliness away
>And some years ago, that precious thing then dropped in front of her face, and a voice asked "Hey, this yours?"
>She turned and looked, and saw a girl as particular as her, but her hind legs ended in paws, not hooves
>She too was bloody and bruised, and on her shoulder she held a broken plastic bat
>Some years ago, that little satyr said "thank you."
>And one that very day, some years ago, a friendship formed that would last beyond lifetimes.

~~~

>Nightmare Night
>Muddle, Icarus, and Pogo decide to go a-pranking but...
>"This... is so lame." Icarus groans and flops on his seat as they stare at the line of houses already Teepee'd, egged, and a half dozen bags of burning crap on the steps.
>"Wheeee! This IS fun, Pinkie!" They turn and watch Twilight, vandalizing her own house with her kids. Possibly while drunk. Again.
>"Utter schwarbage." Pogo groans.
>The only one who seems to have any spirit is the drake. "Well we gotta at least do something."
>"Like what? All of Ponyville's done our work for us. And Princess Luna's teamed with Pogo's mom, we're not gonna compete with that."
>"Well I'm trying a little something I call 'scrabled egg and has-'"
>"you're mixing the eggs with the dog crap and toilet paper, aren't you?" Pogo asked dully.
>Muddle hung his head. "Yes." Then perked up. "Well I gotta try it anyway!" He huffed a bit of flame and tossed the bag at the nearest house. And watched the eggs put out the flame and shield the house from the crap and toilet paper, letting it all fall discreetly into the bushes.
>Muddle hangs his head again. "Welp, we might as well go home early."
>"Whaaat're you three boys talkin' bout? The night'sh times jush begun!" A familiar voice alerted them, followed by giggling
>Turning, the trio of boys saw Hope and Alexa, their arms around their shoulder as they struggled to keep balance, a bat in Hope's otherhand, and a bottle of booze in Alexa's.
>"Hope?" Icarus asked shocked, and feeling secretly aroused watching this.
>"What're you boysh doin' out? Nothin' naughty I hope." Alexa asked, drank from her scotch, and giggled. "Hope.... Get it? Because it's her name."
>Hope suddenly went into bawdy laughter. "Oooooh! You got me!"
>"What are you guys doing?" Pogo asked cautiously. In contrast to Icarus, this was not his fetish.
>"We're gonna raise shome real hell on asshholes who de... Devia-? No... Who have it coming!" Hope shouted
>Suddenly, Alexa began to cry. "Muh boyfriend... Fucker's been cheating on me... Called me a freak too." And went from sad to angry in .001 second flat. "SO I'MMA GLASS THAT BITCH'S CUNT!"
>"Wanna come along?" Hope grinned.
>"HELL YEAH WE DO!" Muddle shouted and grabbed the other two. "Let's go! This is gonna be great!"
>"Aw, thanksh, you're a sweet lil' twerp." Alexa cooed to Muddle, moving in closer and bending down to show him her cleavage. "If we pull thish off... I'll even fuck ya on the rebound if you like."
>Muddle coughed, his flames igniting the puff of his own breath that collided with Alexa's, curiously forming a little flame heart between them. "Guys... We HAVE to do this."
>"No way, man! I don't wanna end up spending another Nightmare Night in jail!" Pogo shook his head.
>Icarus shook his head. "No, we gotta, Pogo, this could get Muddle laid. And you know the brocode."
>"To blazes with the code! And you're Wing-man nature! Oh, Wingman, I just got it. Funny." Pogo chuckled.
>Before they could protest any further, Hope, Alex, and Muddle were dragging the other two off into the night
>The five found themselves in front of the house of Gilda's ex, Muddle bouncing up and down with excitement.
>"Alrigh', kiddo, show us what'cha got. You go first. Make Ally here aaaaaall wet." Hope challenged.
>"Uh, right, okay!" Muddle jumped, metaphorical spaghetti dropping from his pants. "Uh, let's see, so I got this thing called Eggs and Hash-"
>"Jush do it, kid! Foreplay ain' words." Alex slurred and then offered the other two some booze. "Wan' schome?"
>"Nah thanks, I brought my own." Pogo declined and took out a five gallon jug of vodka from nowhere.
>"Ah, shi, bro, lemme have some!" Alexa 'asked' and merely stole the jug away and began drinking.
>Muddle, not to be out-done, growled, lit his bag on fire and chucked it right through the window of the ex's house.
>"What the fuck, man?!" The colt inside screamed, having not noticed the others yet and began to focus on the 'package'
>"Not bad, kiddo. But lemme show ya how us old-timers do it." Hope grinned, took her bat, and swung at the mailbox, sending the steel cache flying hard enough to embed itself in the stone wall of the house.
>"Serious- Wait, actually, this is good, I don't have to leave my house for the mail anymore." They heard him from inside.
>"Outta tha park!" Hope cheered when a mucher drunker Alex stumbled over.
>"Yer rush-... Russian... Yer outta practice. Hope. Lemme show ya'll how it's done..." Alexa grinned and began sliding her hotpants down her lets, exposing herself to all three teenagers. "Sheee... In tha griffon aeries... THISH IS HOW WE CHECK BLOOD ALCOHOL!" Alexa cackled, arching her back on the ground, taking a lighter, and putting the flame to her urine stream
>And it caught
>From between Alexa's legs came a gout of fire that made Muddle envious and consumed the house, leaving only only the ex-boyfriend standing in a pile of ashes with ashes in his hoof.
>"HEY! I COULD HAVE ALREADY WON!" He screamed and grabbed a broom.
>"OH SHI-! Everyone, cheese it!" Hope screamed but laughed at the same time as all five darted off into the night, Alexa forgetting her hotpants on the lawn
>Probably for the better since they got caught in the fire blast.

~~~

>Heiresses to two princesses, perhaps the two most powerful princesses in Equestria.
>Their love and pride for their family was strong
>But not strong enough to break the quiet between the pair as they studied in the library garden, pondering tomes of forgotten lore-
>"My mom could totally kick your mom's ass."
>Spoke too soon...
>Glimmer was smiled, but the corner of her eye twitched and magic began to spark at her fingertips
>Dawn, in contrast, remained regal and calm.
>Outwardly
>Inwardly she was going on a small rant not unlike the Navy SEAL copypasta.
>Brushing her hair back, she laughed. "Well... if that's what you chose to believe-"
>"It's not belief." Glimmer said cooly. "I've researched the facts. It's objective fact: the student has surpassed the master. A thousand times over."
>Silence
>Then...
>"YOU BITCH, I'LL GLASS YOUR CUNT!" Dawn screamed, grabbing a sword off the wall and charging while Glimmer prepared her spells.
>They would both end up grounded on separate heavenly bodies until they were eighteen.

>"What in the world has gotten into your girls?" Celestia chides her daughter, held in a telekinetic grip while Twilight suspends her own
>"One minute the whole castle is quiet and suddenly the two of you turn it into a warzone!" Twilight scolded her own daughter be recapping the destruction of their fight.
>Dawn struggled against her mother to reach for the bloodied, bruised, but smug looking Glimmer. "She started it, mom! She said Twilight could kick your ass!"
>"Glimmer, is that true?" Twilight asked forcing her own daughter to look at her.
>To her credit, she nodded without hesitation. "It's true though, look at the facts and figures." She said resolutely. "Ponyville's economy has boomed and begun to surpass Canterlot's, your magical energy output surpasses Celestia's by a half Yottajoule, and my mom EARNED being a princess."
>"From Celestia!" Twilight cut in and cast a silencing spell on her daughter. "We'll deal with this later. Princess, I am so sorry for this."
>Celestia shook her head. "Don't be, Twilight, Dawn is equally responsible for giving into petty barbs. If I flipped my lid every time the papers wrote something like this about me, I'd be wearing my crowns on my butt."
>"But, mom-!"
>"No buts!" Celestia said firmly. "We are going back to Canterlot and going to have a long talk." She said casting a muting hex on her own daughter.
>As the two mothers carried their daughters away in a magical field, they shared one more glare with one another's blackened eyes, promising this was far from over.

~~~

>Highnoon
>A traditional time for legendary showdowns in the Western reaches of the Equestrian continent
>At the edge of the growing Apploosa, a crowd had formed of pony, buffalo, satyr, and even a few of the princesses to watch a literal clash of titans.
>In the great empty fields, towering seven meters tall, gleaming in the sunlight in purple and sky blue, The Thunderchild marched towards its opponent, and inside, her pilot, marching with her machine, goggles down, and the flickering statics of her mecha at the edge of her vision while her opponent lay straight ahead.
>Said opponent stood a good meter over hers and clocked in twelves tonne more. He reclined against a rock outcropping, the heavy brow of his machine shading his eyes. Painted in bold reds mixed with earth tones, Utah finally turned The Law's optics up to physically stare at his opponent and strode forward.
>They paused, a good ten meters between them, the air so tense the human between them almost couldn't speak.
>"This is to be an official match of the Games of Steel. There is to be no use of hacking or direct psychic assault on your opponent, otherwise the violator will be disqualified! Is that understood?"
>"I always shoot straight, sir." Utah's voice drawled out of the machine as its head nodded.
>"And this fight means too much to me to lose!" Stormwalker shouted, her blood simmering in her veins.
>"And why's that?"

>Nodding slowly, the human referee held up his flags. "The match will begin in thirty seconds!" He called and began to back away as Twilight, in the crowd, projected a giant countdown.
>The two pilots gripped the controls of their robots with anticipation, The Law's hands hovered over massive, 60mm, armorpiercing revolvers.
>And Thunderchild's fists clenched and sparked with lightning as the clock counted down.
>5...
>Stormwalker thought of her life leading up to this moment as she did before every match.
>4...
>It all blurred by so fast.
>3...
>But one part she couldn't forget was Icarus' battered body after his enemies tried to sabotage him to keep him out of the Game of Steel.
>2...
>The doctors say he might never fly or walk again.
>She had to win this for him.
>She had to find this conspirator and bring them to justice!
>SHE HAD TO FIGHT!
>1...

>Thunderchild vanished in a flash of light before The Law and appeared behind it in the next instant, inside Stormwalker cursed as she could feel Utah's grin from within his own mecha, already turned and the giant revolvers pressed raising to her head.
>She couldn't make another jump like that before it was too late, so instead she charged, relying on speed to carry her inside The Law's already aiming arm and punch the second hand with an EMP fist, dropping its pistol, but before she could follow up, Utah brought up the knee and smashed Thunderchild's face then kicked her away.
>The crowd 'ooh'd and 'ahhh'd at the spectacle.
>Stormwalker used the momentum roll back, evading shot after shot from Utah and swearing when The Law struck her in the hip, crippling her prized mobility.
>"Well ain' you a slippery one." Utah said calmly, his left hand having recovered from the EMP strike and picking up his second pistol while Thunderchild and Stormwalker were hunched over. "Now look, I know your lil' story, so it might be best to let a lawman investigate this case here o' foul play."
>Stormwalker couldn't help but smile. "That's a nice offer, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do all I could to seek out Icarus' attackers." She knew Utah.
>He was a good man.
>The kind of man she wished she could be like herself.

>"Now don' be so hard on yerself." Utah reassured, bringing his pistols to Thunderchild's head. "Yalready done all ya could 'gainst the Law an' me."
>But there was another reason she couldn't admit as to why she couldn't just let this matter be resolved by anyone else.
>The chambers of the revolvers turned, hammers clicking back.
>Because Stormwalker was competitive as her best friend and fallen rival.
>Thunderchild glowed with electricity and the Ride Lightning System activated.
>"Won' work!" Utah shouted and spun around, only to see nothing.
>Instead The law buckled as Stormwalker's lighter frame descended upon him, crushing the head of his unit and securing her victory.
>"And the winner: STORMWALKER AND THUNDERCHILD!" The anonymous human shouts to the crowd who go up in cheers.
>Utah pulls himself out of his inert machine coughing as the smoke was released and was greeted by a de-mecha'd Stormwalker.
>Chuckling, he extended a hand. "That was some fancy thinkin' there, Stormy. An' I cain' say I'm sorry to have lost to a lady like you."
>Smiling, Stormwalker took his hand. "And me, I'm disappointed because I don't think I'll ever fight an opponent like you in this tournament again."

~~~

>"Reuby?" Cheese knocked, eyes dropping in worry.
>"Reuby, you in there?" He tapped again, more silence. His ears swiveled low.
>"I can hear someone crying so I really hope its you because that's your room and I don't wanna be the jerk who tells someone 'hey, you can't cry in that room! That's my son's!' I mean I'm not saying I'm hoping you're miserable but-" Suddenly, the laughter breaks with a bit of a laugh.
>Reuben's voice finally calls out "It's me dad! Just come in."
>"Cheese Sandwich steps inside his son's room. It's so neat and clean... Organized and tidy. He considers firing that Latino who comes in every week-"
>"Dad, you're narrating yourself again." Reuben chuckles a bit and wipes his eyes.
>The pony father immediately puts a foreleg around his hybrid son. "Sorry. Old habits from my travels."
>"I know dad..."
>The two shared the warmth, silence, and soothing shade of the room in the later summer afternoon heat. Finally, the father broke the silence. "So... Wanna talk about what's got that smiled turned upside down and into a frown?"
>Reuben sniffles. "It's just... I didn't do so great at the comedy club practice. They boo'd me, dad. I don't get it, I worked really hard."
>Cheese touches his head to Reuben's. "Hey, Reuben... Why are you really upset? You're way too good to be brought down by a few silly slings or arrows. Well, metaphorical ones."

>Reuben looks away and goes quiet. "I... I wanted to make you proud, dad... I've been trying real hard and I just can't get it right-"
>Reuben suddenly finds himself squeezed tighter. "Reuby, you already to me plenty proud. If I were any prouder of you, I'd be making Chuck Norris-like jokes about you." Cheese pulls his head off to the side to mock his own voice. "'There's no such thing as natural selection, only species my son decided failed to properly fit the criteria of existing genus of animals!'"
>Then, he grew serious. "Reuben, I've always told you to follow YOUR dreams, not mine. And my dreams are your dreams anyway, you can double check that with Princess Luna. So if you're not happy trying to be party satyr, that's fine. I'll support you all the way. If you do wanna be a party satyr though, then we can work on it together."
>Now, Reuben's tears renewed, but for another reason entirely. "You.. You mean it?"
>"Cross my heart, hope to fly, kiddo."
>the next few hours were spent, just father and son, embracing as the sun vanished over the horizon and the stars came out overhead.

~~~

>"I like you, please be mine." Simple words.
>Simple words with a powerful gravity to them.
>The last time Spike had heard those words were from his own mouth and they were turned back by the white unicorn he had said them too.
>Now, they were said at him, to him, for him from a girl who knew just how lonely the world felt when you were the only one of your kind amongst ponies.
>Hope looked at him, her hands wringing together nervously, her golden eyes so filled with anxiety and nerves.
>Was that how he had looked so long ago?
>The sincerity of her words though. All of her heart put into that one sentence.
>Spike never thought of himself as a smooth talker, so he decided to be at least honest with his reservations.
>This poor girl deserved that much more than he had gotten then a a lowered gaze and a wordless parting.
>"You know... There's going to be problems." He said to the younger girl who shook her head.
>"I don't care. But if you don't want to, just say 'no', dammit!-"
>"I didn't say 'no'." He said quickly and sighed. "I'm not going to..." She was pretty, smart, funny, and they did enjoy eachother's company. "Just... You should know Ponyville's going to keep giving us hell."
>"I accepted that a long time ago." The hybrid nodded, tears welling in her eyes. They were wiped away by his claw and then she was pulled into a warm hug.
>"Then... I guess we'll endure Hell together?" The dragon bowed his head and kissed the top of her head.
>Once again, Hope shook her head, a smile forming on her face. "No... Not Hell. Not with you."

~~~

>Be a guard
>Be freaking out because at long last, you beat Princess Celestia's daughter
>Normally not a bad thing, but holy shit, you might have messed her up bad
>Her face is bleeding all over and you might have broken her nose with that last shield bash and oh, crap, you don't wanna live on the moon! Luna is a crappy princess!
>Two shadows loom over you
>ITSHAPPENING!.stndgls
>You slowly look up and see Dawn's parents looking down at you
>And then they break into a smile.
>"Congratulations! You're the first one whose managed to beat Dawn!" Prince Anon says with no sarcasm and extending a hoof to you.
>uwutm8?
>"I was so terrified for a moment that there wasn't a single guard in all Equestria that could even subdue a spirited teenage, much less any serious threat. Thanks to you, I have new faith in my guards." Celestia sighed with relief. "Speaking of which, would you be my daughter's new sparring partner? I can also promise additional promotions, and it saves us from having to constantly fly in Alex from Ponyville."
>You squeak: "Okay?"
>"Wonderful! This new position will keep you a bit busy, but comes with a 15 bit per-hour pay raise!"
>Holy horseapples, batpone!
>The prince nodded in agreement with his wife. "And you'll also be expected to inspire your cohorts, but you've proven capable enough as is."
>As you walk away, still stunned by this turn of events, you see a patched up Dawn lean in and whisper into your ears: "My quarters after your off-duty?" She said in a suggestive whisper.
>Before you had a chance to answer she was sauntering away, her tail lifted and hips swaying
>"Everything turned out better than expected.stndgls" you blurt out loud.

~~~

>"Mah name is Utah Apple..." The satyr said in shaking breath, his father's Colt Single Action Army Revolver leaden in his young hands, supported by a will of fire and rage. "You killed mah father." He centered the sights on the last of the brigands, his own sight though shot from the blur of tears. "Fer that... You die."
>Two small thumbs pulled back on the hammer, screams erupted around him, but all he could hear in that moment was the song of spring time and feel warm arms wrapped around his.
>"An' ya breathe out as ya pull tha trigger." A firm but comforting voice instructed from right behind his own head while an extra pair of arms supported his. The younger Utah struggled against the trigger.
>"It's hard, pa."
>The man behind Utah chuckled. "That's cause yer tryin' to pull the trigger from the top, you don' have leverage."

>In the present, Utah's fingers slid down and he muttered under his breath "Nestle yer fingers, righ' up there in tha dip o' tha trigger..."

>"An' curl yer fingers, don' just pull against the gun, ya work with it, it's a part o' ya." The human's words echoed in the past. The Peacemaker snapped and clicked empty, the force still enough to make the barrel jump in Utah's hands.
>"Whoa!" The satyr almost jumped, but his father kept him steady in body and mind with three simple words of reassurance:
>"I got ya." Utah looked back into his father's eyes, and smiled.

>Back in the present, Utah's hooves shifted forward into a slow advance to get a better shot. And fired.
>He could see his bullet stray, his shot go wide and smash the wood behind his father's killer, who jumped, but was in no way dead. Gritting his teeth, Utah took another step, and began to pull back the hammer.

>"Pa, what's a gun for?" His younger self asked, and the old lawman just smiled to his hybrid boy and answered:
>"A gun's a tool, son. What it does is throws little pieces o' metal real fast an' hard to hit things. What they do in the end depends on how tha shooter uses 'em."
>Utah nodded, watching his father clean, oil, and reassemble the revolver with rugged hands that hid their adroitness. "What'cha use your gun for, Pa?"
>Mr. Apple smiled right back. "To protect my family, why o' course."

>Hot, everything was burning around and within the young satyr.
>His clenching throat, his watering eyes, his shaking hands.
>He couldn't even see his target when he fired his second shot, it would have been a greater miracle if it hit, even as he continued to close the gap.
>So he kept walking, until finally, he was on top of the mongrel who slayed his own hero, who broke his family, who took a piece of his heart.
>Not taking chances, Utah forced the Colt into the killer's mouth until he could feel the monster choke on the cold steel.
>He pulled back the hammer and a million images of his father flew through his mind, ending on the corpse of the man who had protected his homestead and family.
>His father, his hero, his first friend. Dead for the money in a drawer.
>His fingers wrapped around the trigger, and slowly squeezed.

>"Utah?"
>"Yes, pa?"
>"Lemme ask you somethin' now; what would you use a gun for?"
>"Uhhh..."
>"'Cause no matter what'cha use it for, you gotta be real certain, that whenever you load it, whatever you poin' it at, whenever you pull back that there hammer, 'r pull the trigger at... You better want it dead... 'Cause once you pull that trigger, there ain' no turnin' back."

>"Utah." A calm voice pierced a shroud, he looked down and a familiar, orange hoof set over his hands.
>Turning to see the owner of the hoof, he saw wide, shimmering green eyes looking back at him. Applejack shook her head slowly.
>"Utah... No... Not like this. Yer father wouldn' want you to be like this..."
>The satyr's rage returned. "What? If I kill 'im I'll be jus' like him? Because I sure as hell ain' gonna be bustin' into a family's home an' kill a lovin' father o'er some damn bits!"
>Another voice spoke up. "No, she means killing purely in rage." Hope stepped forward and added her hands to Utah's. "One day, these small hands will grow larger, and what kind of man will be behind them? Will you use them to protect the ones you love, to build a future that makes them happy? Will you use the power inside those hands to crush those around you, dominate them with force and fear? They be hands that lash out in anger and pain, groping for retribution?"
>Utah looked down, and watch in surprise as his mother's hoof was pushed away. "We can't stop you no matter what path you choose, but be sure it's the one you want. The one you believe will honor your father's memory."
>He saw his mother speechless, but relented. He saw Hope was sincere in her promise to let the child make his own choice. He saw the fear in the bandit's eyes.

>"That's a silly question, pa. I wanna use a gun jus' the way you do! An' help folks out!"
>"Well that's mah boy, but sometimes... The best way to help others..."

>"Ain' wit' a gun at all..." Utah finished the words of the past, his tears renewing as he slowly holstered the gun.
>Applejack wailed out in relief and joy, wrapping her forelegs around her son who returned the hug in kind.
>His guns would become his last resort, and always a tool to take away hurt from others.

~~~

>"Ugh...." Alex groaned in her hospital bed
>"Guuuuhh..." Kimmy agreed with her partner in crime's analysis of the situation.
>"I told you both this was a horrible idea." Mera, Kimmy's sister moaned, feeling the effects of her sister's poor choices herself.
>"Shuddup!" Alex whined.
>The snake tail pulled itself up a bit. "You're just lucky we're not all dead. Here's a quick tip for the future: when the word 'exotic' is used to describe marine life, that usually means 'toxic', and when your father says 'don't mess with the fish' HE MEANS IT!"

~~~
>"Daddy... Gizmo's sick
!"
>You look over the rock tree golem thing and frown.
>"Honey, he's not sick-"
>"But he's not moving as much, and his have turned from green to red to yellow to brown to grey and they're falling off."
>"Honey... it's November. This happens every year."
>Your daughter blinks and perks up and smiles.
>"Oh yeah! Thank you for making him all better, daddy!" She hops up and kisses you on the cheek despite you not doing a damn thing.
>Given who her mother was, its sometimes amazing how little your kids know about nature.
>"Dad! My pet lizard's shooting blood from his eyes!"
>Right on cue...

~~~

>"Amateur? Lady, I'm only amateur because I've never been paid for doing this shit. Unless you count picking the pockets of would-be looters." Hope's eyes became shifty.
>The lady knight became all the more indignant though. "A braggart and thief! What could you know of real fighting? All I've seen is you use your witchcraft to throw your enemies around and cut them down."
>"Yeah, exactly. And you're a human woman." The first satyr nodded sagely but cut off her opposite before she could get more angry. "Look, you fought men, right? Human men?"
>That seemed to break the momentum of her ire enough to get her to nod.
>"Could you say you matched those men in sheer muscle and power?" Hope continued.
>The chevalier shook her head. "Of course not, no matter what I did, I was always fifty to a hundred pounds lighter than any of my sparring partners." Her tone starting to understand.
>The satyr nodded again. "And your instructors knew that, so they trained you how to take advantage of your strong points: you're small, your nimble, and precise. My fighting style: I can't compete with enemies in strength, so I use my telekinetics to assist my movements, my attacks, my defenses, and even compensate for when my opponent would normally have me ranged. Your children too, are different from you. You can't train them and teach them the same techniques and expect the same results. They are only half, but they are dragons through and through. You might be afraid of that, they might be afraid. But they need to be dragons when they fight and not human women."
>"I... Understand, petite diable. Thank you."
>"No problem, sometimes it takes an outside perspective... Also, I know what that means, please stop that."

~~~

>"They grew up together, and that just makes it seem... Unnatural." Twilight capped off her thoughts on her son and your daughter's relationship.
>You just roll your eyes.
>looks like it's time for you to do your job as Twilight's assistant and clean up her horseshit.
"First off, Twilight, they're two separate species-."
>"So's my husband and your wife." Twilight interrupted.
"Okay, addendum to first point: rude."
>You admonish her on her lack of manners and revel in princess looking like a school filly.
"Now, my second point: neither of us are ones to judge our kids on the whole 'pseudo-incest' thing. Remember that month we dated?"
>Abashed School Filly Twilight has EVOLVED into Caught-Having-Sex-Teenager Twilight!
>"Uhh... You were... A good boyfriend, Spike, but I'd really rather not remember that time." She muttered trying to drown herself in her the contents of her own teacup.
"Then, we can just let Rory and Thistle be?"
>"Spike, just because we did something doesn't mean-"
>Your turn to interrupt.
"Or should I remind you of your crush on your older brother that lasted into your teens?"
>Twilight's expression was like a deer caught in headlights.
>Priceless.
>Now the coup de grace:
"And at the end of the day, Twilight, they're not hurting anypo- Anybody else, and most of all: They're happy."

>Somehow, that made Twilight seem more ashamed than everything else you had said.
>She sighed and set her tea aside. "I know... I really don't have any right to butt in on Orion's relationships when I haven't intervened in a lot of his life when I should have."
>Crap, she's going Emo-Twi, hit the brakes.
"Hey, Twi."
>She looks up.
"You've done a lot for Rory, and even if it's not as much as it should have been, everything good with him begins with you and your husband. So buck up. And if you still feel bad, then know that this is the time, more than ever to look out for him. Just... You know, when it's really important."
>Twilight smiles despite your fumbling
>Your draconic, racial Charisma bonus pays off!
>"When did you grow up?" She asks
"Probably about the time I found out my human girlfriend was pregnant and needed a father, not a baby dragon."

~~~

"RANGERS, TO STATIONS!" The bellowing voice commanded over the P.A. system, making one of said base personnel groan.

"God FUCKING SHIT DAMMIT!!" Simmer screamed in frustration, throwing his the sword he had just picked up to train in a nearby wall and let out a jet of blue flames in his anger. "WE JUST FUCKING GOT BACK! I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN OUT OF MY PILOT SUIT!"

His sister, though, seemed much calmer about it, instead urging her brother out of the gym to head back to the hangar. "Well, yeah, did you really think Kaiju would be considerate?"

"Have they even finished repairing Dragon Tyrant?" Simmer whined while picking up the pace.

"I don't think they'd call us if the jaegers weren't ready, Simmy." The sister twin concluded as the pair approached the higher levels of the hangar, leading to the comm pod of Tyrant Dragon. Not far away, a familiar fellow satyr and her father sat on a bench, grumbling.

"Hey, Hope and Mr. Heartstrings!" Broil greeted cheerfully. "How come you're not in Yukon yet?"

"The techies aren't finished yet! We're gonna end up deploying maybe a half hour after you guys at the fastest." The older human answered and quickly dashed Simmer's own hopes. "But they finished up Tyrant's repairs just five minutes ago. Hurry up, we got two Category IV's approaching the Miracle Mile in fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyone else ready?" Simmer asked, hoping for at least an easier fight.

"You'll be getting deployed with Gaia Ham-"

"WHOA! WHOA! What the Hell? They're ending out Ivy? She's too injured! Did they get a sub?" Simmer's answer was Hope and her father slowly shaking their heads.

Suddenly, Broil was grinning as her brother grabbed her hand. "We need to launch. NOW, sis!"

"Ah, young love... You really should write down all those poems you've had in your head." Broil teased as they entered the comm pod and strapped themselves in.

"I'll give them to her along with the heads of these Kaiju."

Around the massive, mechanical men, the coastal waves crashed up around their metal waistlines, small tsunami created with each motion as they waded and waited for their enemies.

"Gaia Hammer, stay behind Tyrant." Simmer said over the comms. "Do not engage unless you have no other option."

"Belay that order, hotshot." ("what?" "not you.") Rainbow Dash said firmly. "Simmer, you and your sister might be good, but you can't take on two Kaiju at once, much less Catfours."

"Then get Yukon Omega out here stat." Simmer responded without room for argument.

"Visual contact! I see splashes in the water!" Broil announced. "Readying the Plasma Cannon!" She said engaging the switches.

The 'head' of Dragon Tyrant splayed open in the front and an electrical charge built between the prongs of its maw as the leviathan-like kaiju leaped from the waters straight at the

"Cyclone talons!" Simmer announced, the hands of the mecha spun up and splayed its sharpened claws and swung. The spinning razors only grazed the Kaiju though as a membrane unfurled at the leviathan's sides and it took to the air while Simmer and Broil felt something seize their leg and pull them under.

"SHIT! IT'S NOT TWO CATFOURS! It's a catfour and a cattwo!" Rainbow Dash swore.

Gaia Hammer was flanked as a massive reptilian and the flying serpent came for it. Inside, Timber grunted to maneuver the machine as her shared the pain of his sister's broken limbs and haziness of her concussion.

"We need space! Hitting the kinetic pulsar!" Ivy wheezed her spasming fingers flew through controls and Gaia Hammer released a sparking blast that knocked back the smaller Kaiju but did nothing to stop the larger from slamming its claws into the chest of the machine.

"Missile pods!" Timber growled, allowing the torso plates to be ripped off and a salvo of rockets to fly right into the beast's face. Blinded, it resorted instead to seizing the entire Jaeger with all four of it's hands and pulling.

Meanwhile, Dragon Tyrant watched this, both pilots swearing as they were rocked and rolled by the serpant encircling them, each slash with their talons seeming to have no effect as the sea snake regenerated.

"We're gonna go under like this! Is the cannon charged?" Simmer asked his sister as water began to pour into comm pods.

"Yeah but... I can't get a shot on Kaiju grabbing us!" Broil grit her teeth.

"Then don't aim for that one." The brother drake said, his sister nodded in understanding.

Just beneath the surface, the water boiled and from it burst a pillar of lightning and fire and ripped into the reptile's back, the pain spasms pulling off a limb from Gaia Hammer but soon, it relented, merely collapsing on top of the metal hulk, desperately trying to recover until the Heat Blade of Gaia's remaining arm sliced through its stomach and severed the beast in half.

"LEAVE SIMMER ALONE!" Ivy was screaming in a berserker's cry, guiding the machine through her sole will as her brother hung from the pilot harness, unconscious.

turning the tangle into a dogpile, Gaia Hammer mounted the coiled serpent and seared through its flesh with the heat blade, weakening it's hold, only for the other half of the leviathan to seize around Gaia before it could finish off Simmer and Broil's captor.

"S-Simmer?" Ivy began to weep over the comms, the pressure slowly mounting on the jaegers. "I'm sorry... I wasn't useful. To you or my brother-"

"Hey!" Simmer cut in. "Knock that shit off, Ivy. You've always been useful. You're the one who inspired me to be brave." He reassured her as the comm pod glass cracked just a bit more and the conscious trio braced for the end.

An end that wouldn't come as the leviathan halves spasmed from a powerful electrical discharge and peeled off from Gaia and Tyrant by Yukon Omega. The massive hands of the Generation III Jaeger then crushing the serpent skulls.

"Hope! Mr. Heartstrings-" Broil was ready to thank when the human father cut her off.

"Hold that thought." He said and the father and daughter guided their jaeger to the category IV Kaiju, still struggling even after bisection, and then burned alive from a series of plasma caster shots to its exposed vitals.

"Come on, you guys, we gotta get you back to base and patched up. And us patched up the rest of the way." Mr. Heartstrings said, right as one of Yukon's arms fell off.

"You came in without full repairs?" Broil asked, pulling Tyrant to its feet.

"You said you needed Yukon stat." Dash chuckled on her end of the radio.

Three in the morning and Simmer still couldn't wind himself down from the fight.

Or it could have been the coffee.

But coffee never did him wrong so it was the fucking Kaiju.

"Simmer?" A soft voice broke him from his reprieve. The drake turned and saw Ivy, flushing slightly as she guided her wheelchair in.

"Oh, my god, are you okay? You look even worse." Simmer said moving closer to help.

"I'm fine- Well, not exactly, but I'm not hurting right now." Ivy reassured and smiled brightly. "I have a morphine feed!" She cheerfully announced, pointing the hanging IV bag attached to her chair.

The drake ranger 'oh'd' then sat back down.

The two remained in a comfortable silence for a solid two minutes until broken by the dragon hybrid. "So... You want a drink?"

"Oh! I'd love some coffee!" Ivy perked up.

"Sugar and cream?"

"Black."

"After my own heart."

"About that..." Ivy blushed and looked away, soon followed by her companion. "Ummm... About back there-"

"I do too!" Simmer blurted out.

"You do?!" Ivy beamed.

"Y-Yeah! I mean! Yeah! I really like you too, Ivy!"

"That's great!"

"It is!"

The two smiled, fell into silence, then laughter.

"Sooo... Make this our first date?" Ivy suggested, wheeling herself closer.

"Perfect." Simmer sighed and kissed Ivy on the cheek before fixing her coffee.

After another lapse of silence, Ivy grinned. "But... Seriously 'inspire me to be brave' was the best you could come up with?"

"Don't pretend it didn't make you feel better until I could come up with something better." Simmer grinned back, setting down the coffee and poking Ivy in her functional shoulder. "But, if you want the full list, we got time since we're not about to die. Even wrote- well, came up with a few poems for it."

"I'd love to hear those."

fin.

~~~

“Hope, breakfast!” A feminine voice from the downstairs summoned, and what rose from its slumber in answer lethargically pulled itself up into an awkward, seated position. Tangled locks of teal hair streaked with white falling in front of her face, concealing amber eyes and a slightly spittle encrusted lips from an unfortunate drooling problem. As if a comedic form of physics as in effect, her blankets chose then to fall, revealing a pair of developing breasts and fair skin. Taut, toned arms stretched and long fingers splayed as Hope yawned then proceeded pulled her hair out of her face and mouth and lastly wipe the grime and gunk from her eyes.

She then swung her legs over the bed’s edge, and turquoise coated hooves impacted with hardwood floors and brought her up on ungulate legs, the rest of the blanket falling to the floor revealing fine, velvety coat ending a few inches below her navel.

“Hope!” Another, masculine voice now called with more urgency.

“Coming!” Hope shouted back, annoyance in her voice as she walked towards her modest vanity and fell flat on her face as the tangled blanket restricted her movements.

The satyr grumbled, rubbing her sore stifles which had taken the initial impact followed by her now bleeding nose and sore chin. She scarcely heard the commotion of quick movements rushing up the stairs until it was just outside her door, and that too burst open to reveal a man in a shirt, jeans, and a fearful expression on his face next to a small, turquoise unicorn with a lyre brand on her hind quarters, wearing a mirroring expression of concern.

“Mom! Dad!” Hope screamed, her face burning red and quickly grabbing the blankets to cover her breasts and exposed womanhood. They both ignored her and her father scooped her up, pulling away the blankets while her mother’s horn glowed with an amber corona which extended to her daughter’s knees.

“Oh, god, she’s bleeding!” Her human father exclaimed, already pulling out a handkerchief to stop the blood and pinched the bridge of a struggling Hope.

“Get out of here!” She squirmed and kicked.

“No broken bones, honey, where is she bleeding? Is she cut?” The unicorn mother spoke quickly.

“Mom!” Hope protested as she felt the tingle of magic poking and prodding her.

“Just the nose near I can see, her lips are probably also cut-”

“It’s just a bloody nose! I fell okay?!” Hope managed to wriggle free from her father’s grip and winced as her mother’s magic went from a golden glow into a shining, white light, focused on her face while tugging her lips.

“I’m seeing the nose, but no sign of blood on her lips-”

“I’M NAKED! GET OUT OF HERE! BOTH OF YOU! NOW!” The younger teenager screamed with enough force to shake thick window panes and disturb the birds nesting on the tree outside.

Finally, her parents saw the full situation and her father turned red. “Sorry, hon… Just… Worried about you. And love you.” He rambled awkwardly while his daughter crossed her legs and and arms to give herself some decency, her own face equally red. “Umm… I’ll just go now. Sorry.” He apologized one more time darting out the door.

Her mother though, was not so easily deterred and just smiled. “But you are alright, right, sweetie?” Her mother asked, using magic and the handkerchief to remove the blood from her daughter’s face.

“I’m fine, mom! I tripped. Please, just let me get dressed and I’ll be down for breakfast!” Pleaded the hybrid.

“Alright, honey, alright. Just making sure-”

The door then flew open again. “Just to make sure, you’re okay-”

“Just fine!” The two women insisted, one amused, one more frustrated.

“Okay, just being sure!” Hope’s father then disappeared once more.

“He means well.” The turquoise unicorn nuzzled her taller daughter.

The hybrid child remained unmoved and persisted with her pouting. “It’s just so annoying sometimes. You guys fuss about me way too much.”

“We’re worried about you. It’s what parents do.” She telekinetically seized a brush and began to help work the morning tangles from her head. “My parents worried about me a lot too, and so did your father’s parents.”

Hope immediately began to relax under the ministrations of the brush and her mother’s care. Still, her lips curled into a snide smirk. “I’d be worried if I was you or dad’s mom too.”

“Ha ha, missy.” The unicorn rolled her large, golden eyes worked a few more knots from her daughter’s hair. “Now get dressed, the breakfast your father worked hard on is getting cold.” The mention of the human of the couple having made the meal loaned a disquiet look on the mother’s face.

“Dad made breakfast?” Hope brightened.

“Yep… So lot’s of dead animals.” The pony sighed and walked towards the door, a small commotion behind her before she could open the door, Hope had tossed on a simple dress and trotted with her mother out the door, navigating the stairs carefully, and inhaled the rich air of cooked meats.

Enthusiasm taking hold, Hope sprinted the rest of the way down the stairs, once again tripping as her pastern kicked against the risers of the stairs and went for a tumble, her mother shouting behind her in horror when the satyr sprung to her hooves on reaching ground floor, unharmed.

“Ta-dah! Now where’s the beef?” She asked hooking into the dining room and meeting her panicked father.

“Lyra, what happened?” He asked the breathless pony.

“Your daughter just tumbled down the stairs!” The unicorn scolded and fussed over her daughter once again.

“Mom, dad, I’m fine, it wasn’t a tumble, it was a controlled roll like dad taught me!” That got Hope’s father a hard, withering glare from Lyra.

“Oh, do not try to pin this on me, little missy!” Her father said, putting his knuckles on his hips and puffing his chest. “I told you that was for protecting yourself from a fall, not to be an express way down inclines!”

“I told you, I’m fine! So what have we got for breakfast?” Asked the teenager, already spying a few pieces of fried chicken steak that made her mouth water. She was halted by a hard tug on each ear, one seized by magic, another seized between fingers.

“We’re having a heaping pile of ‘talk to you, missy’ with a side of ‘sit your flank down’.” ‘Dad’ said firmly, the fried chicken steaks becoming so close yet so far from Hope now. “And what you won’t be having is any meat for breakfast.” He added, directing her gaze away from the crunchy and moist poultry

“This is child abuse!” Hope protested. “I’m an omnivore like you, dad! I need animal protein to live!”

“You’ll live for a whole week as a vegetarian.”

“Noooo!” And so, on top of leaving late for school, Hope Heartstrings had to force down another meatless breakfast.

“Hey, freakshow!” A high and nasal voice taunted from just outside of Hope’s visual range. She didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

“Not in the mood today, Consort Crown.” She picked up her pace. Unfortunately, the four pony carriage drawing the capitalist noble was simply faster.

Now it pulled ahead so the satyr had to look at her self-proclaimed nemesis. “So, you acknowledge you’re a freak. That’s good.” The young, pony teen then tried spitting in Hope’s face only for her to absently dodge the offense, teal pigtails bobbing. Consort Crown grit her teeth but then regained composure. “Well, my mother and best friend-”

“You mean her real husband?”

Another spit, another miss. “As I was saying: they’ve made headway in their latest-”

“‘Their latest petition to force my parents and me from Ponyville and all other Equestrian lands to restore property values.’” Hope finished for her. “Yeah, yeah. This is what, the twelfth time-”

“Eleventh!”

“Eleventh time your mother’s tried this and I think she was arrested for forging signatures the last few times? And before that tricked ponies with carbon paper which got her fined, rather severely I might add-”

“She was never actually convicted of those crimes!” Consort screamed, the red in her face becoming clear through her pink coat.

Hope was now smiling inside while keeping her same, practiced, annoyed-middle-aged-man look learned from her father. Consort Crown knew she was smiling inside, and it pissed her off more and that made Hope just smile more.

“Convicted or not, the first four times, the petition failed to meet enough signers-”

“Two thirds of Ponyville signed it!”

“But sixty six isn’t eighty five percent.” Corrected the satyr. “And the fifth time, the Princesses straight up shot your mother down. Do you need help remember all the other times? I know all those layers of lead and mercury make up you have caked on mess with your head.”

Consort huffed, gesturing for the driver to pull a bit further ahead while she retrieved a sloshing bucket from inside the carriage.

“Oh, look at the time, I’m gonna be late!” The hybrid bade coyly and rushed ahead in a burst of speed, her height just enough so she knocked the bucket of water from Crown’s hooves and right into the carriage with her. “Sorry about that!” Hope said over her shoulder, not sorry at all.

Her pace immediately picked up faster when she heard Consort scream to the driver and ponies pulling to ‘turn that freak into road kill!’

The carriage was quickly gaining on her, Hope’s hope she could keep ahead until reaching deeper into Ponyville dimming. Thinking quickly, she opted for another route.

Slowing her pace just enough for the gaining carriage to almost catch her, she hopped onto a nearby cafe table, ran along the backs of the pulling ponies, and fell into the front bench with the driver and smiled at the unicorn. “Don’t suppose you’d give me a ride to school, would you?”

The driver was taken aback, stuttered and stammering until a hatch opened revealing an irate Consort Crown. “Get off of my carriage!” She screamed.

“Or else what?” Hope asked with genuine curiosity if today would be the day Consort decided to shoot up the school.

“Driver, push her off the bench! Don’t just sit there!” The filly screamed and ranted.

Hesitantly, the driver reached out and poked Hope’s arm. “Miss, please get off the mistresses carriage.”

Shrugging, the hybrid stood up after finding her balance. “Well, since you bothered to ask nicely…”

“You stupid dolt! I said push her off! I want her hurt! Physic-” sort was interrupted by the hatch suddenly being shut on her muzzle.

“Thanks for the lift!” Hope saluted to the driver and kicked off, sailing through the air briefly and hitting the ground with a series of backwards rolls, distributing the impact over a distance then stood up and watched Consort Crown’s carriage careen off further and further from the Ponyville school.

“Miss Heartstrings, you’re late.” A raspberry earth pony huffed, but despite her sternness, she was looking the satyr over for injuries and dusting off her dress.

“Not as late as Consort Crown’s gonna be.” Saluted the hybrid as she began to galloped backwards into the school’s main building before spinning on one hoof and going into a full dash.

“Hey! No running in the- oh, forget it…” Cheerlie rolled her eyes and trotted back inside herself, distantly watching Hope skid and tumble into a roll, then spring back to her hooves with a distant ‘I’m okay!’

~~~

>Thanksgiving was never easy for you, good food aside
>There was seating arrangements
>Preparing the food
>annoying relatives, younger and older
>And it sure as hell hasn't gotten easier since you married your pone waifu and had a kid of your own.
>"Mrs. Anon, I don't think we need to slaughter soo many poor animals on this day. My family is... Largely vegetarian."
>"Fluts, you and my son are the ones who went Roman Catholic and no one leaves my thanksgiving table without a helping of my fried turkey so my husband and I were nice enough to buy over one hundred pounds of it."
>your mom and fluttershy are already arguing in the kitchen, leaving you to quickly back away.
>"Timber!" You wince as your uncle raises his voice. "You might be my great nephew, but I will fucking cram your cloven hooves up your ass if you do not turn the TV back to the game!"
>"There's a National Geographic special going on live right now!" He protests.
>"Kiddo, can't you just watch it on your damn smartphone or something?" Your father tries to reason
>You just keeeep walking, and continue to do so past the angry brawl between your own nieces and nephews with Flora and Fauna over a stuffed rabbit doll.
>You head outside, not even a drink or a smoke in hand since everyone else was blocking access to those when you feel a cold one press against the side of your head.
>Standing next to you with a wry smile, Ivy asks: "Are we really that bad, dad?" She asks.
>You gratefully accept the beer, cracking it open and taking a swig.
"Nah... I love you kids."
>"JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS ROBIN LAID AN EGG! SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING! JINGLE ALL THE SLAY!" You both hear, cringing along with everyone else in the house as you hear Thorn and a few of your own cousins blasting poorly improvised rock renditions of christmas carols.
"Juuuust this holiday always sucks."
>"At least it sucks for all of us, and we all make it worse for eachother." Ivy managed to say over Thorn's gutiar solo.

~~~

>Be Icarus
>Everything is black
>Black and Pain
>Looks like dad took you to Chicago
>Oh, no, you're in the hospital...
>"Icarus... how are you feeling?" Doctor Sawbones asks you apprehensively.
"I just feel like I went through the meat grinder and lost my wings, but I feel perfectly FINE, doc!"
>You try to joke, if only to see if your sarcasm was still working.
>It is
>Wait, why's he looking at you like that
>"... Well.. you were right about half of that." The doctor then holds up x-rays and you feel your blood freeze in your veins.
>One of your wings was apparently gone, ripped right out of the socket and the bones of your left wing had the consistency of gravel
>Don't cry
>Don't cry
>They're just wings it's not the end of the world
>This happens to a lot pegasi
>Why not eventually a satyr
>Why not you
>Don't cry
>You try, but you just think about how you'll never be in the air with your mom and sister ever again
>That you'll never camp out on a cloud under your own power
>You'll never wear the blue suit and soar with the Wonderbolts
>You'll never pull your friends out of danger
>Or dive bomb assholes from above
>Don't cry
>fuck.

~~~

>"Twilight! I need to learn dark magic!"
>Twilight backs slooowly away from Rainbow Dash. "Ooookay, why?"
>"I heard it can restore pegasus wings, or... Well, satyr wings? I need it for Icarus!"
>"rainbow Dash... first of all, there's other magic that can theoretically restore wings for one, two all of the theories have been disproven or don't work for what happened to Icarus, three-"
>"DFuck you! Some friend you are!"
>later...

>"Glimmer!Ineedyourhelpwithdarkmagic!"
>Glimmer smiles.
>"IT's time... For MAGIC!"

"And that, kids, is how the first ponyville zombie apocalypse happened."