David Cummings AMA

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  Who would win in a yodeling match to the death between you, SiwelP, and Wondrous_Sound?

<MikeRowPhone> Wondrous_Sound would be the most musical on the mountain. I would certainly be able to hold my own (which would prevent me from yodelling). Peter's extendable jaw and extra set of mandibles would undoubtedly make him the winner.

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Where do you see the podcast going in the next 5 years?

<MikeRowPhone> Left at the lights, down two blocks, and turn right at the former massage parlor-turned playschool. That's where we're headed. In the long-term we'll keep doing what we're doing (as long as my bloated body holds out) and try to do more touring and take some more risks in terms of productions to keep things fresh.

<cmd102> Question from kneeod :  If you could narrate absolutely anything for the podcast, what would it be?

<MikeRowPhone> That's a tough one. I suppose I'd want to perform something which resonates with me; allows me to find the perfect voice and lets me bring a genuine part of me to the role. What that is I cannot say at this time. Probably something dirty.

<cmd102> Question from robwrites :  Is there a single factor which you would say helped bring the podcast into mainstream success? I also produce a podcast, and although it's growing steadily, we haven't found that tipping point yet.

<MikeRowPhone> Having /r/nosleep as our playground and built-in audience helped at lot. We grew and it grew. We made mistakes and learned how to do our show when very few people were listening. Once we figured out how to do it well both /r/nosleep and us got a bigger audience and thus things took off.
<MikeRowPhone> I won't discount that a lot of luck and serendipity is involved. Keep doing what you're doing!

<cmd102> Question from deadnspread : Do you have a favorite Story/Character you personally narrated?

<MikeRowPhone> I love playing characters for whom I can use a very different voice. I'm more comfortable being a wholly different person rather than playing someone close to my real self. I loved my cop in "The Pancake Family" in this season's first episode. I love playing my old "Churchill"-sounding guy. I love being someone else entirely.

<cmd102> Question from Polar_Starburst : what's your strangest or creepiest experience, paranormal or otherwise?

<MikeRowPhone> One night I was recording in my little booth/closet. My wife and dog had gone for a walk. Near the end of my session I hear the door open and the bell on my dog's collar ring indicating they were home. I finished up and came out of the closet (so to speak) to an empty house. I assumed they knew I was still recording and stepped out until I was done
<MikeRowPhone> . The return a while later. When I inquired she said they were just getting home and hadn't arrived earlier. I had heard them come home so clearly yet it wasn't them or anyone else in my house at that time. *cue scary chord*

<cmd102> Question from survivalprocedure : What are some of your odd quirks?

<MikeRowPhone> I'm constantly talking to myself in silly voices and singing around the house. There is always an audience in my head for whom I'm "performing" (badly). Oh, and build miniature battle scenes from my toenail clippings.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : What criteria do you look for when choosing a nosleep story to feature on the podcast?

<MikeRowPhone> Fortunately our amazing editor/story-finder Gabrielle does most of the story hunting these days. But for me I like story which are scary (first and foremost), are well-written in terms of having some literary polish, and have compelling characters. Once those fundamentals are in place the setting, plot, or mood can go almost anywhere. I do, however
<MikeRowPhone> , lean towards more supernatural stories as opposed to killer who sup on eyeballs and the like.

<cmd102> Question from fleshcrafterAngel : You say you want something that lets you bring a genuine part of you to the role, but also that you prefer to play characters who are very different to your real self. How do those interact?

<MikeRowPhone> At the risk of sounding like a pretentious actor, I find I can "inhabit" characters more easily when using a different voice. So even though I'm doing an entirely different voice I can find a part of that character which comes from a genuine part of me. I supposed I'm really saying I'm "fractured" enough to have a genuine part of myself within some
<MikeRowPhone> thing which I don't regularly present as the "real me".

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Laurel & Hardy or Abbott & Costello?

<MikeRowPhone> L&H!! In fact, I remember watching old L&H films on 8mm film when I was a kid. They did one in a haunted house which I loved and fondly recall to this day. The early seeds of horror!

<cmd102> Question from kneeod : If you had to, would you rather live out of a box or a paper mache'd hut?

<MikeRowPhone> I'd really prefer something made out of dough, cheese and sauce. A "pizza hut"
<MikeRowPhone> if you will. But I do love me a good ol' cardboard box.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : If you had to pick one book to have sex with, which would you pick?

<MikeRowPhone> A book to....?  Who screens these questions? I guess I'd pick, "Uncle Rolly's Big Colourful Pop-Up Book of Well-lubricated Orifices" in the original "Scratch-n-Sniff" binding.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : Fuck, marry, kill. Joe Rogan, the "can you hear me now" guy from the Verizon commercials, the mom from 19 Kids and Counting

<MikeRowPhone> I'd marry Joe for the laughs and the chance to be on his podcast. I'd say, "Can you hear me kill you?" to Verizon dude, and of course I'd fuck that precious bearer of new life. She knows her way around the old equipment.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  If you could turn AtticusJackson into a reptile or amphibian, what would you make him?

<MikeRowPhone> Probably a reptile. Like a gecko so I can save money on my car insurance.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  If you had to be stuck on a desert island for a decade with two of your colleagues on the NSP, who would you choose and why?

<MikeRowPhone> First off, what heinous crime did those two people commit to have them sentenced to ten years alone with me? I'd probably pick Erika for the fun plays we could put on (and whisky we could share) and Peter so he could kill all the wild boar and keep us fed and protected from less monstrous things than himself.

<cmd102> Question from robwrites :  What type of horror personally resonates with or scares you the most?

<MikeRowPhone> I love hauntings. Old houses or any setting where the characters are like, "There are sounds or sights or things going on which don't make sense and seem suspiciously like some otherworldly entity is doing them." Things that go bump in the night always grab my attention.

<cmd102> Question from SiwelP :  After the publication of your coffee-table-book containing erotic photographs of clothed statuary, do you intend to go one step further, and begin to seek out the nudes?

<MikeRowPhone> Oh trust me, I'm *always* seeking out the nudes if you catch my drift. wink, wink, nudge, nudge

<cmd102> Questions from SiwelP: Do you think a podcaster starting today is advantaged/disadvantaged, due to the recent upswing in podcast popularity? Has the playing field felt more crowded in recent years?

<MikeRowPhone> Unless you're part of a network, have a huge built-in audience, or major star power, there is a huge disadvantage to starting a show today. Growing like we did (a bunch of nobodies who slowly built an audience) is almost unheard of. There no way we could start a show today like we did almost six years ago and get anywhere with it.
<MikeRowPhone> Oh, and yes - massively crowded out there these days.

<cmd102> Question from survivalprocedure :  Have you ever considered acting on front of a camera and show off your mystifying good looks?

<MikeRowPhone> Clothed? No. I belong in front of a microphone not a camera. I fear for our upcoming live shows when people gaze upon me for the first time. The horror will begin the instant I walk on stage and the performance likely won't top that.

<cmd102> Question from survivalprocedure : Have you ever used a character from one of your narrations for *ahem* PERSONAL role playing purposes?

<MikeRowPhone> God, could you imagine? Seriously, could you imagine anything more horrible that than? Me doing a stupid voice while trying to...*gah*. TRIGGERED!!

<cmd102> Question from XylonEx : If you had to pick a favorite narrator besides Peter Lewis, who would it be?

<MikeRowPhone> Oh, sure. Get me in trouble with all but one of our voice actors. No fair. They all have their immense talent, their charm, their aroma of fresh-baked bread. I can't pick just one. But if I really had to I'd say *&%lost-signal#$%

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : What piece of equipment do you have now (that you didn't have when you started) is the most vital to the Nosleep Podcast?

<MikeRowPhone> I'd have to say the software called "RX5" from izoTope. It's audio restoration software which help clean up noise, mouth clicks, and unwanted smells from our recordings. It really is outstanding and vital to what we do. All our producers use it.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : What's your favorite Disney movie?

<MikeRowPhone> Mary Poppins. Dick Van Dyke is my role model for how to perform a flawless and authentic British accent.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : If you had to chose between having your stomach removed, forcing your esophagus to be attached to your small intestine, or having your penis removed, which would you choose?

<MikeRowPhone> Is having my esophagus attached directly to my penis an option? If not, I'd say the former. Anything to keep my hourglass figure from getting larger.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : What famous work of literature would you most want to narrate (not necessarily for the podcast)?

<MikeRowPhone> I'm a sucker for Dickens' "A Christmas Carol". I'd love to do that one, if only for myself.

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : What's the most expensive liquor you've experienced?

<MikeRowPhone> I had some of The Macallan 25 at a tasting a few years ago. Don't know what it goes for per bottle but likely most expensive than I could afford.

<cmd102> Question from baconmoontwist : Digitalism or Wolfgun?

<MikeRowPhone> The only word I recognize in that question is "or". I must recuse myself from answering.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : What fruit do you empathize with most strongly? What fruit fills you with an unrivaled fury?

<MikeRowPhone> I feel a kinship with kiwis. Plump, hairy, never anyone's first choice. I can't stand most melons. They think they're so cool cuz they get invited to all the brunches but they're all style with no substance.

<cmd102> Question from robwrites : What non-horror podcasts do you listen to?

<MikeRowPhone> Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo. I've been a paid subscriber to that for years. Rarely a day goes by when I don't have a new or old episode of it on. I try to listen to lots of the horror staples (Darkest Night, Black Tapes, Smalltown Horror, etc, etc.) So many great shows so little time.

<cmd102> Question from survivalprocedure : Has your experience doing story narrations ever helped you through a tough emotional period in your life?

<MikeRowPhone> Not so much in terms of one particular narration helping me through. When my brother died suddenly in Sep 2015 (after an understandable short break from the show) I found that getting back into the world of fictional horror and other characters provided a welcome distraction. Helped me "forget about life for awhile" like Billy Joel said.

<cmd102> Question from XylonEx :  What, if any, is your favorite Scotch

<MikeRowPhone> Laphroaig 10 yo is #1 followed closely by a Highland Park 15. God, I sound like such a drunk when in fact I rarely drink at all.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Do you have any cool stories about fans of the podcast? Biggest fan? Smelliest fan?

<MikeRowPhone> I've only ever met two fans in person. I only met Jeff & Violet (two members of the team) yesterday. So the only cool stories involve learning that some very unexpected people are fans of the show, like Elijah Wood, director Mike Flanagan, and Donald Trump. (I may have made one of those up).

<cmd102> Question from KPants : You wake up one night, and your entire house is burning to the ground. Your loved ones and pets are safe but you only have time to go back in and get one possession before your house comes crashing down. What do you grab?

<MikeRowPhone> Definitely my NAS server (containing all the podcast backup files) and my copy of "Uncle Rolly's Big Colourful Pop-Up Book of Well-lubricated Orifices".

<cmd102> Question from robwrites : What separates a good horror story from a great horror story, in your opinion?

<MikeRowPhone> I think you could remove the word "horror" from that question and the answer would still be the same: compelling characters you care about. If the reader/listener doesn't connect with the characters and care about what happens to them it won't be a great story. Put them in a scary setting and it becomes a great horror story. Oh, and one of the char
<MikeRowPhone> acters should be named David for it to be truly great.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : If you could go back and rerecord one of the earliest stories you narrated, which (if any) would you choose?

<MikeRowPhone> Probably the Pen Pal series. It's such an amazing story and I think it deserves a bigger and better production than we were capable of at the time. Not that our original version is bad, it's just the story itself is big enough for a finer production.

<cmd102> Question from theephemera : If you had to listen to just one song on repeat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

<MikeRowPhone> Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band.

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Do you have any pets? If so how come you haven't shared pictures of them yet?

<MikeRowPhone> I have two cats. We lost our beloved dog a little over a year ago. I tweet photos of the cats from time to time or when the public outcry gets loud enough.

<cmd102> Question from kneeod :  In front of you is a button with a 50/50 chance of either granting you a single wish of your choosing with zero strings attached, or killing you instantly. Do you press it?

<MikeRowPhone> Probably. Or not. Yes, I would. Unless...well, maybe. Depends. No, I wouldn't. But then again...yes, I definitely wouldn't not press that button. Possibly.

<cmd102> Question from kneeod : What is your favorite musical, and why is it Les Miserables?

<MikeRowPhone> Ha! Les Miserables is actually a close 2nd on my list. But Jesus Christ Superstar is the gold medal winner in my books. Did it on stage in high school and I still love listening to it.

<cmd102> Question from KPants : What's the worst injury you have ever sustained?

<MikeRowPhone> I played football in high school. During practice we did a drill when another huge lineman got on my shoulders and I had to carry him across the field and back. When I stepped out to turn around I rolled my ankle. It imploded under all that weight. Still hurts to this day (along with the pain of my career as a ballet dance dying that very day).

<cmd102> Question from KPants :  What's your theory on shoes you see on the side of the highway? How do people lose them there? What must their lives be like?

<MikeRowPhone> They represent all the dead people who neither go to heaven or to hell. They're just a bunch of lost soles.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Have you ever had authors be upset over the way the podcast narrated their story? If so, can you tell us a little about why? (Without naming names.)

<MikeRowPhone> I've not heard from any enraged authors. Some have damned with faint praise indicating that they production wasn't what they expected. A lot of authors don't give any feedback at all so I just assume they are struck dumb but how much they love what we do with their story.

<cmd102> Question from robwrites : Have you ever felt unease about your real-world identity being known in connection with the podcast?

<MikeRowPhone> If I had known it was going to grow this big I may have been a little more guarded but by and large I'm fine with it. I'm by no means a "big name" or anything so I don't feel I have to worry about anything untowards happening. Maybe I'll reconsider that after we tour and meet the fanatics.

<cmd102> Question from theephemera :  What is your favorite scent?

<MikeRowPhone> Cinnamon with a slight hint of desperation.

<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson :  How much do you hate Youtube REAL TRUE WEREWOLF GHOST CREEPYPASTA  horror narrators?

<MikeRowPhone> I don't mind your work, Atticus. >>>Oooooo! BURN!!<<<<<<  Seriously though, I don't really notice them. I don't hang out of YouTube a lot so I don't encountered those kinds of narrators. Best of luck to them all, I say.

<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Hall or Oates?

<MikeRowPhone> OATES!! There. Oh, I thought that was, "Holler Oates". I like blue-eyes soul so I'll go with Mr. Hall.

<cmd102> Question from theephemera : If you had to act in any previously made horror movie, what script would you pick?

<MikeRowPhone> The Shining. I'd love to play the twin girls.

<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : How many people regularly work on the podcast? Do you think you'll have to expand on that number in the near future?

<MikeRowPhone> We have team approaching 20 people now. They don't all work on every episode but I'd say it regularly at least a dozen. That may expand but only if the work calls for it. I don't want to have to deal with too many of "those" types of people.

<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : How do you choose what voice actors get to work on the podcast?

<MikeRowPhone> It started out by working with people who asked to join in. Now I look for a little bit of experience and some decent quality hardware just because the show has evolved to a higher level. It's basically if a person impresses me with their voice acting (and bribes) I try to find room for them.

<cmd102> Question from krypt and kneeod : What advice would you give to someone wanting to start their own podcast, whether it be discussion-based or fiction narration-based or anything else? The main stuff they should know?

<MikeRowPhone> Choose the kind of show you want to do and stick to your vision for it. Don't get pushed & pulled by people telling you to make the show *they* want. You'll go crazy. Do your show your way and you'll at least stay sane. Whether your show goes anywhere is secondary to that.

<cmd102> That's it! A super sincere (and slightly sticky) thank you to MikeRowPhone, aka David Cummings, for joining us today! Keep an eye out on /r/nosleepinterviews for our next victim, /u/Christopher_Maxim!

<MikeRowPhone> It's been a genuine joy, thrill, and privilege to be here. Thanks for having me.