Idle Days part 1 (Redux)

This is my attempt at writing a AIE story about nothing. I like to think of it as being a Surreal/absurdist comedy. All Innuendos, Double Entendres and Sexual undertones are intentional

>Your at home lying in bed and sleeping in way past noon, as usual
>Finally deciding that its time to get up, you yawn, stretch your arms and roll over
>As you Finish your Roll, you Feel your arm land on the soft coat of a pony
>Wondering what the hell is going on, you blink your eyes to un-blur your vision and see Pinkie Pie laying next to you in bed
>She repositions her foreleg into the pillow, rests her head on her hoof and smiles
>“Hi there, sleepyhead”
Umm, Pinkie. Do you remember that talk we had about Boundaries?
>she shifts her eyes up in thought
>“Nope”
Of course you don’t. Wait…How did you even get in here? I thought I locked the door last night.
>She rubs her hooves together and smiles deviously
>“I have my ways”
>You sit up and notice the large Pinkie Pie-Shaped hole punched clean through the wall
I’ll just have to deal with that later
>You get out of bed and head for the shower, Rolling your eyes as you suppress your Frustration
>As your washing, Pinkie springs out from underneath you.
>she brushes up against your nude front, completely oblivious to the fact she’s violating your personal space
>no matter, you’ve been desensitized to violations
>“Why do you sleep in so late, Anon?”
>You notice the grid iron resting on her head and look at her in disgust
Did you just pop up out of the shower drain!?!
>“Umm, I think I did.”
>She fidgets uncomfortably on realizing the filth she swam through
>Believing you’re doing her a favor, you grab the shower head, turn it on full blast and, Spray her down with the force of a fire hose
>This could be painful but she doesn’t seem to mind
>Afterwards, you flip her around and hose down her back
>the force of the water causes her to lunge forward into the shower door
>the glass squeaks as her pressed chest drags from one end of the door to the other.
>Now that she’s squeaky clean, you kick her out of the bathroom to resume washing
Pinkie, Go home.
>“But Anon, what about…”
>Suppressing even more anger, you shut the door before she finishes her question
>You finish showering, dry off, get dressed and head for the front door to start your day
>Pinkie drops down in front of you, hanging upside down from the door frame, Causing You To lunge back in surprise
>“Anon, Don‘t you want to know why I‘m here”
>You snap at her in annoyance
>“Why are you here!? What was so important that you couldn’t wait for me to wake up and had to break in my wall?”
>“I made food for you”
>She pulls out slice of pie
>You approach it slowly and take a smell of the intoxicating aroma unfolding before you
Is that pumpkin?
>She smiles
>“Yeppers! I wanted to eat lunch with you, so I made you my special recipe.”
>The annoyance fades
Okay, I can do lunch
>You chow down on Pinkie’s Pie, Delicious!
>She Smiles as you finish up, licking your lips thereafter
Not too bad…
>The two of you spend some time to chat and laugh, giving you a moment for your frustration to subside
>“I’m sorry, I broke down your wall Anon. I just wanted to share food with you while it was still fresh.”
>You smile at her
That’s okay Pinkie, I can’t get at you for being yourself…
>Your smile fades as you contemplate that sentence
…Actually I can and I do more often than I’d like to admit but that’s not important. Now, If you Don’t mind I need to run an extra Errand today

>The two of you head off to the hardware store. You pick up some lumber the patch up your wall and she goes to assist you. At least she means well, you’ll give her that much
>The both of you head back with cartful of materials but you find that sticking around her gets to be a little grating again
>Actually, Quite grating; does she ever shut up?
>Determined not to let your anger get the better of you again, you decide you need to take a break from her before going to work on that wall and hatch an idea of how to lose her without hurting her feelings
>You interrupt her babbling mid sentence
Pinkie! Look at this!
>she observes curiously as you drag the toe of your shoe across the dirt and draw a big X
>"X? X? like X’s and O’s at the end of a letter? Or maybe like X for a strike in bowling? Ooooh!  Or maybe X marks the spot? Is there buried treasure underneath that X? I wonder who left it there? Maybe it was a group of pirates? What kind of treasure do you think pirates bury? Maybe they buried some of those yummy chocolates covered in gold foil…"
>You place the materials next to her carefully and silently back away
>she doesn’t notice, too enticed in her fascination with the scribbling in the dirt
>You keep backing up until you reach a door
>Without even bothering to see whom that door belongs too, you shut and bask in your moment of peace
Few, a little bit of that girl goes a long way.