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- "psst, can you talk in there?"
- >"im not supposed to talk during my shift"
- "are you a fan of the show"
- >"...yeah"
- "are you a horsefucker?"
- >"..."
- "just answer"
- >"...yes"
- "do you want to quit this job?"
- >"pretty badly, yeah"
- "do you plan to?"
- >"probably, i have another place im gonna be working full time at soon"
- "do you want to quit in style?"
- >"what do you mean?"
- "so you want to go out with a laugh?"
- >what did you have in mind?"
- "pinkie x anon"
- >"sounds funny, why not, i hate this place anyways"
- >you go and grab a greensuit off one of the nearby shelves, and quickly slip it on
- >you also grab a horse mask and put it on as well
- >you come back
- "are you ready?"
- >"fuck it, lets do it"
- >you step behind pinkie and start humping the suit
- >the entire store is staring
- >security starts to approach
- "quick, start moving"
- >the 2 of you running through the store away from security
- >humping whenever you get a chance
- >eventually, you end up in the middle of the store
- >you stop and hump furiously, and shout
- "PINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE"
- >security tackles both of you to the ground
- your mask is taken of, and the greensuit removed
- >the pinkie pie suit is removed, and a girl is inside
- >as you are both escorted out, she tells you her number
- >"we should do this again sometime, but without the suits"
- "i only fuck horses, faggot"
- >"what the hell? this isnt 4chan you idiot"
- "newfag please"
- >then decides you are tired of this whole situation
- >manage to break one arm free of the security officer's grip, and pull out your katana
- >take out the security officers in 1 swift motion
- >run back over to the toy section, and grab your plushie waifu
- >proceed to the fashion department, and grab a fedora
- >got to the school section and grab an mlp themed backpack
- >run to the food section, and grab as much pasta sauce and noodles as you can
- >quickly go to a large open area in the store
- >begin to dump the pasta sauce in the sacred autism awareness puzzle piece formation
- >put the backpack in the middle, and fill it with all the noodles and leftover pasta sauce
- >now that everything is complete, it is time to finish the ritual, you tip your fedora like nobody has ever tipped before
- >the whole store begins to shake, and the backback begins to hum
- >stand back as you watch your creation
- >a blinding light appears around the backpack, and when it is gone, you see it, your creation
- >a spaghetti powered jetpack blessed by the gods of autism
- >and just in time too
- >the sirens of police can be heard outside the store
- >it doesnt matter though
- >put on the spaghettipack and run towards door
- >as you exit the store police surround you and shout
- >"HANDS IN THE AIR"
- >kek
- >say nothing, but tip your fedora again, activating your spaghettipack, and propelling you into the air
- >the police are unable to react, to shocked to be able to process the autism they are witnessing
- >as you ascend, you look down at the normalfags below you
- "farewell, it has been a great displeasure living on this earth with you all"
- >look up to the sun, and tip your fedora again to accelerate
- >accelerate faster and faster, until eventually
- >a sonic spaghetti boom
- >another blinding light, but this time when it fade
- >your eyes adjust, and you look around to see...
- >[spoiler] equestria [/spoiler]
- FIN
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