Cheeto

Jolly Mon 16 Apr 2012 08:36:54 No.1296382 | /mlp/
=======================================================================================================================================
>Tell the man at the fluffy orphanage you'd like to adopt a fluffy pony
>"Yeah, those are really popular with fucking hipsters like you."
>He's obviously noticed your ironic Tee, plaid scarf and stylish fedora
>No one ever understands you
>You tell the guy you want a "special" fluffy pony
"Like, you know, one with a quirk."
>"Of fucking course you do."
>He leads you past the two doors that say, "Fresh" and "Rescue" to a third door, around a corner, labeled, "Special"
"What's that mean?"
>"You know how fluffies were genetically engineered?"
"Yeah. They still make them in labs because they die faster than they fuck."
>"Yeah, well, sometimes people call into these labs and, 'special-order' custom fluffies. You know, autism-ridden idiots like yourselves who want a fluffy with pupil-less eyes or a hot-pink ring around its neck or some shit like that or-"
"Yeah, okay, I get it. Lets check it out."
>He shows you to the special fluffy room
>You look through the cages of mutant fluffies for a while until you find a great sight
>A small, sleeping filly; entirely bright orange
"Oh, yeah. This is the one"
>You grab her up in your hand and already she starts babbling about, "Pway!" and "Yow gon' be fwuffy's new daddy?"
>You hug her tight to your chest and exclaim;
"I'm gonna name her, "Cheeto". Isn't that just the raddest?"
>"Fucking whatever."
>You pay for the fluffy and leave, slightly wondering why the fluffy's order-er couldn't think of a more creative quirk for this fluffy other than just a bright orange coat
>But you don't really care; it's quirky enough for you
>You set Cheeto down on the seat next to you when you realize something you hadn't noticed before
>Your hands, and the passenger seat, now, are all covered in a thin layer of orange dust
>Upon looking down at your shirt, you find that it, too, is covered in cheeto-dust and crumbs
>This is absolutely
>Adorable
>You immediately pick up your new fluffy (who has been going on about sketties this whole time), completely oblivious to cleanliness concerns
>"Fwuffy gif' daddy huggies!"
"Yeah, little fluffy! Don't worry, I'm gonna be the kindest owner you've ever had! I'm gonna love you forever!"
>"Yay! Fwuffy wuv daddy fowevow an' evow! daddy fwuffy besses fwein'!"
>All this time, he's been shedding off more and more cheeto dust
>It's just so cute
>You don't even care, you let it shower over you
>A bit lands in your mouth
>It tastes JUST like cheetos
"Oh man, fluffy, you're delicious!"
>Fluffy is a bit perplexed
>"Wat daddy mean?"
>You push back all thought, intoxicated with the fluffy's pungent cheesey goodness, and begin to hold Cheeto immediately above your mouth, shaking a stream of cheeto-flavor right into your gullet
>Cheeto is scared, but you're munching your ass off right now, so you don't give a fuck
>"No daddy, no eat fwuffy! fwuffy no sketties!!"
>An hour passes by, with you simply hypnotized by this pony's real cheddar cheese taste
>You've begun to roll Cheeto all over your face, absorbing the delicious flavor into every orifice
"OH MY GOD CHEETO YOU ARE SO DELICIOUS
>Of course Cheeto is sobbing all over you now
>"Why daddy gif' fwuffy owies? Fwuffy be good, fwuffy pwomise!"
>Every tear from his beautiful face is like an explosion of cheesey amazingness in your mouth
>You can't get enough
>There has to be more
>You slowly, in your mindless and euphoric state, begin to put Cheeto's head into your mouth
>"Nooo! Fwuffy no wanna' be sketties!!! Don' eat fwuffy!!"
>You chomp down at the fluffy pony's midsection
>As expected, his flesh breaks like a slice of swedish cheese
>All of his organs taste like provalone
>it's so good
>The crying doesn't even phase you
>You have to slam your palm to Cheeto's backside to prevent his delicious fondue fecal matter from spilling out
>Before you know it, you've eaten the whole of the fluffy pony
>You sit back in your seat, coated in cheeto dust
>That was the best meal Ever
>Eventually, the evil cheesey spell wears off, and you realize you've just eaten you new and beloved fluffy pony
>You begin to cry softly, chastising yourself and wondering what went wrong

>Wait, there's a rumbling coming from your stomach
>It's not a normal rumbling, it's consistently loud and won't stop
>You're in no way lactose intolerant, what's wrong?
>You lift up your shirt to inspect your stomach
>To your shock, you find your stomach slowly growing
>Oh my god
>You decide that Cheeto's flaky flesh must be continuously producing cheeto dust, and it is now building up in your stomach
>You realize in a few minutes, to your horror, what this means
>In a few moments, you will surely explode
>You leave your car and retreat back into the fluffy pony orphanage
>The man sees the tears on your face and the fact that you're an orange monster now and is shocked
>"Dude, what the fuck happened to you?"
"I ATE HIMM!!! HELP ME!!!"
>"Wait, calm down, what's u- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH YOUR STOMACH?"
"I ATE HIM!! IT'S GONNA KILL ME!! WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO??"
>"I DON'T KNOW, MAN!!"
"AAAHH!!"
>"AAHHH!"
>As your stomach has swollen to the saze of a small beach ball, the flesh begins to tear
>To your immense pain, a huge wave of cheesey flesh and blood rains out of your body and on to the floor
>"God damn these mutant fluffies. I'm fucking tired of these messes."