Clever Secretary Pun

In the office at Canterlot High, there sits a woman, whose love to the school is absolute. Day in and day out, she arrives at the building and does whatever is in her power to make the school a better place for both students and staff. She is unquenchable in her passion, and utterly devoted to her job. She is Raven, secretary to Principal Celestia, and up until this point she has never questioned anything that comes across her desk. But now…

As the door creaks open behind her, Raven is quick to shrink the project she is working on. There’s an angry huff of frustration from Applejack as she storms around the front of the desk with her friend Rarity.

“That darn woman,” she mutters, scribbling a bit of information on a slip of paper and passing it to Raven. The secretary dutifully signs it and fills out the rest of the boxes on the excused absence form as AJ continues to complain. “Who the heck asks students for a handmade pen and some ink to go along with it? Who asks for a pen and ink in an age of computers!?”

“I wish I could tell you, darling,” Rarity sighs, her own request proceeding in the same fashion as her friend. “But I suppose we should be grateful that we aren’t receiving stricter punishment. I mean, we do get an excused day away from school.”

“But I didn’t do nothing! You and Twilight were responsible for the perfume and Pinkie for that mess with her sisters, but I’ve been trying to stay straight-laced since Celestia sent me to see Nurse Redheart. I don’t want to get caught up in this mess. If Twilight hadn’t mucked up in the first place, we wouldn’t be-”

The fashionista leans forward and wraps her arms around her friend, successfully silencing her rant. The mass of wavy purple hair surrounds them both like a curtain on stage, hiding their faces and bodies from view while quiet gentle smackings and grunts echo from the other side of her hair. Raven tries to ignore what’s happening in front of her and instead focus on the absence slips. However, when the two at last break away and she hands them their papers, it’s impossible for her not to notice the heavy marks of pale purple-white lipstick across Applejack’s face and lips.

Rarity gives a little wave of her fingers before grabbing the wobbling AJ’s hand. “Thanks darling. Ta-ta.” The two hurry out of the room, though they don’t go straight for the doors. Raven sighs, knowing they’re probably headed for a secret rendezvous where she can take some of the edge off of Applejack’s frustration.

“Things have changed so much since I was in school,” she grumbles. In truth, things have changed a great deal since she started working at CHS, especially in the past few weeks. But she, like many of the students and staff, struggle to remember a time when their Principals weren’t sex-obsessed airheads and a number of their students weren’t bimbos. Still, for Raven that would be over soon. Opening up her latest document, she reads over the first few lines again.

Dear Principal Celestia,
It is with a heavy heart that I must resign myself from my position as your secretary. I realize that intra-school politics can be difficult to navigate, but this constant secrecy is-

Raven groans and rubs the palms of her hands against her cheeks. “Why is this so difficult? I don’t want to be involved in this mess.”

“Y’okay?”

A small squeak of surprise escapes the secretary’s lips as she jerks her head towards the voice. Vice-Principal Luna is staring at her with some concern, her jaw moving in a small circular pattern. In a frantic attempt to wave off her boss, the dark haired woman laughs.

“Y-yeah! Everything’s fine, peachy!”

As she panics, her glasses begin to slip down the bridge of her nose, making her flail in a seemingly futile attempt to push them back into place. As they settle down and Raven’s vision returns, she sees the Vice-Principal approaching. In a panic, she closes out the word processor and adopts an anxious smile.

“What, uh, what brings you out, Vice-Principal? I thought you had a meeting this morning?”

“Miss Lulumoon didn’t show,” Luna sighs, her forehead creasing with concern even as she continues to work her mouth. “She had some very troubling things to say the other day but hasn’t stopped by since, even with my requests. I’m worried about her.”

In that moment, Raven feels her heart break a little. Here she was so wrapped up in her own concerns about in-school politics and the Vice-Principal was putting her thoughts on the well-being of one of her students. Doubtlessly the Principal was doing the same. And she was going to abandon them!

“I’m sure she’s fine,” the secretary says with a sincere smile, “But I can send another note to her, if you’d like.”

“I would, thank you.” Luna smiles and turns, but before she walks back to her office she looks back at Raven. The woman feels a small not uncomfortable chill in her body as the Vice-Principal looks her over. Then she smirks and asks, “Do you like orchids?”

Raven leans back in her chair, a nerves grin working itself onto her face. “I suppose everyone does, why?”

Luna’s mouth works itself around a few more times, before she blows a small bubble. Raven bites her lip and smiles as it bursts with a quiet pop. How strange to see the Vice-Principal chomping away at a wad of gum as though she was a teenage girl. But the look certainly fit her better than it did her older sister.

“You seem stressed too, you should try and relax a little,” Luna says, placing a small pack of gum on the secretary’s desk. It’s incredibly gaudy looking, pink with hearts and glitter all over the packaging, but it has the most wonderful smell, like hi-quality potpourri.

Raven shivers as she bobs her head. “T-thanks Vice-Principal.”

Luna smiles and waves before her lips settle into a bimboish pout, something Raven had never seen before, and struts back to her office, click-clacking across the floor. Despite her good intentions, the secretary can’t help but drag her eyes down Luna’s body, focusing on the almost quarter of bubbly backside that’s hanging out of her skirt. When Luna pops her gum again, she can almost swear she sees it jiggle and swell.

But Luna goes back into her office and Raven has no choice but to settle back into her chair. Considering opening up the file again and starting her letter of resignation from scratch, she quickly thinks better of it. She was, after all, an important member of the office staff and it wouldn’t do to leave the sisters high and dry during an obviously difficult time.

Besides, things weren’t that bad, she thinks, eyeing the unopened pack of gum. Even if it was a small gift from the Vice-Principal, it didn’t look like something that could be bought at the grocery store, clearly some kind of specialty ordering gimmick.

Raven has long tried to avoid the gum-chomping stereotype of a secretary. Despite enjoying the squishy feeling of it in her mouth, popular portrayals of bubble blowing airheads in offices in every medium of fiction have left her a little sour on the concept. But, it’s not like one stick of gum is going to change all that, and besides, the Vice-Principal had said it was good for stress. And boy is she stressed.

So, without a second thought, Raven reaches out and tears the lip of the gum pack loose before pulling out the first stick. The whisper of the cellophane wrapper is a little harsh on her ears, but once the hot pink stick of gum comes into light, she quickly forgets about the sound. Much like the packaging, it glitters and even seems to glow with a soft pink light, the flowery scent becoming that much more powerful now that it’s exposed to the world. Licking her lips, she pops the gum into her mouth and begins to chew.

At once, a tremendous shiver rolls through her body as her insides practically gush at the rush of flavor. The feeling is so overpowering that the taste doesn’t even register, the secretary simply knows that it’s wonderful. And so she chews. And chews and chews; her face tingling in delight the whole while.

Even before the bimbo magic had begun to thread its way through the school, Raven had been a rather unassuming woman. In her early thirties, with too thick glasses, thin lips, and unassuming facial features, the most interesting thing about her is her hair, which is pulled back into a heavy looking bun behind her head. But as she chews, that begins to change.

The working of her jaw as she chews begins to firm up her face, retaining some of the softness, but giving her a sharper, more distinguished look befitting a gatekeeper to two beautiful women. Her lips gain a little volume, as does her hair, some of the heavier stands escaping from the growing bun and brushing against her neck. But, just as Raven begins to really get into chewing, the flavor vanishes, leaving behind a bland, tasteless wad that threatens to fall apart in her mouth at any moment.

“Blech,” she spits into the trashcan, glaring at the grey lump now resting at the bottom. “Where did all the pink go? What is this, some new brand of Fruit Stripe?”

With a frustrated huff, the secretary opens up her dashboard and looks over her calendar. So many things to do today: setting up meetings with parents, getting that message to Trixie, getting the Principals something to eat and that was just for the morning. Cracking her knuckles, the secretary grins and sets to work at impressive speed, her short-cut nails ticking away at the keyboard.

But as she carries on, the weight of the world begins to descend on her again. She felt so out of the loop in this office, with the secretive sisters passing one another notes without going through her. Not that she would look at them, but it results in Raven feeling a little frustrated. So, to take her minds off her concerns, she unwraps another stick of gum, shivers at the smell, and pops it into her mouth.

The sugar rush returns as though it had never left in the first place. Raven’s teeth immediately bite down on her lower lip as she closes her eyes, the look of pleasure turning into a proposition as they swell outward again. Her hair continues to grow, and as her mouth relaxes and begins to chew again, her lips settle into a kissable pout, marked by an attention grabbing layer of bright white lipstick. While a little gaudy, it was only natural that she draw attention to one of her best features.

The secretary’s mind wanders as she chews, imagining, no, remembering how wonderful it is to use her lips. Licking them always brought a pleasant tingle and kissing was electric. The attention given to her lips was enough to make her stomach do flip flops, and an especially eager man, or woman, could easily encourage her to put them to work between their legs.

As Raven’s chest begins to tingle, the flavor again fades, leaving the secretary extremely unfulfilled. Another spit into the trashcan and she goes back to work, her mouth feeling strangely awkward without anything inside of it. That just wasn’t right, it wasn’t proper. She had to be doing something with her mouth, her lips, her tongue; anything.

The third piece comes out and then vanishes into her mouth. Chomping and chewing, the secretary gives a quiet moan as she again feels as though everything is right with the world. Her breasts swell from modest handfuls into a decent pair of tits. While not as large as some of the bimbos in the school, Raven had never heard any of the fathers complain when they came for meetings with the Principals.

The very thought of infidelity makes her honey-cunny gush. She would stare at the men as they came in with their wives, working her lips so that they couldn’t be ignored. When they excused themselves, as they undoubtedly would after sitting in a room with either of those two sex-pot Principals, she was always ready; her shirt open with breasts hanging out and lips pursed, ready to relieve all that terrible stress. She’d make sure to mark them thoroughly, leaving fat white lipstick marks all over their testicles and ringing around the base of their shafts, in the hopes that they would get caught by their wives later that night.

With that thought in mind, Raven snaps out of her reverie long enough to confirm the appointments for the following week, her eyes lingering over certain familiar names who she knew would take her up on her offer, and new ones who she desperately hoped would as well. The tingling moves onto her rear, which begins to grow and swell, but even as the flavor fades, the secretary hurriedly shoves the fourth piece of gum into her mouth, not wanting the moment to end.

The mixing of the still active wad with the fresh one has an immediate and impressive effect. Raven’s rather flat backside, which might have grown into a fair sized pair of cheeks proportional to her breasts, instead explodes outwards into a truly fat bubble bottom and takes her pencil skirt and panties with it. Following her boss’ lead, Raven had long since given up on containing her massive, jiggly ass, often going without underwear.

Parents and troublesome students, who take her up on her offer, love it. When she was sucking them off or eating them out, Raven would make sure to force each shift of her weight all the way down to her backside, making it bounce for them as they squirm under her attentions. The kids are nice, but her favorites are still the parents. Many nights have been spent plunging a toy into her snatch while sucking on another, praying that some couple get home that night only both of them to find their partner’s thighs decorated with big, white kisses.

In response, Raven’s lips plump up again, proper pleasure pillows which only serve to advertise to the whole world what it is that’s always on her mind. Her glasses shift, becoming smaller box frames that serve her just as well, while giving her the ability to stare over the tops of them at her marks. A few finishing touches, a little eye shadow and mascara, some gaudy dangling earrings, a set of long nails worthy of a secretary, and the magic all but exhausts itself. The final touch is a pair of fishnets and heels, both black, and a series of sex toys popping into existence on the Raven’s desk. As the gum at last loses any hope of retaining flavor, the floor of the office foyer turns into the same pink carpet as Celestia’s office.

With a heavy heart, the fat-lipped secretary rolls the once tasty treat out of her mouth and into her trashcan with the rest. She runs her tongue over her lips, trying to soak up any vestige of the flavor, but finds none. Her now vacant mouth all but squeals for attention, but as her eyes settle on the last piece of gum, she can’t bring herself to take it. How would it look to the Vice Principal if all the gum was already gone when she came out? But she had to do something with her mouth!

In a moment of frustration, she looks over her schedule. A notification pops up that brings a smile to the bimbo’s lips. Of course, there’s always time for that. Getting to her feet, Raven moves into the Principal’s office, unbuttoning her shirt as she goes.

From her position by her door, Luna smiles and continues to play with herself through her panties. She strains her ears to hear in the next room.

“Principal Celestia?”

“Good morning Raven, what can I do for you.”

“It’s time for your daily stress relief.”

“What are y- Raven! What, what happened to you?”

“Shh, Principal, just let me take care of everything.”

“But, your lips, your ass, you l-l-oh... mm…”

Luna’s eyes roll back into her head as she hurries herself to another orgasm amidst the helpless whines and whimpers of her sister. Still trembling, the bimbo Vice-Principal sucks the juices off her own fingers, and then continues to suck away at them as she considers what she just saw. It was only right; Luna had always enjoyed having things in her mouth.

What was known was that the bimbo perfume works on every level that Pinkie Pie had described. Dissipates in the air, provides moderate bimboification with each use on the body, and can be used to change inanimate objects, charging them with a limited scope of the magic. But even that could be enough to turn a frumpy secretary into a big-bottomed blowjob queen.

Any regrets Luna may have had about changing the secretary disappear as Celestia’s cries increase in volume and intensity. In truth, the Vice-Principal is amazed that they didn’t think of turning the now eager bimbo earlier. But, more importantly, she now has the means by which to make good on her promise to her sister. Going over to the desk, she drops the three-quarters used bottle of perfume into a busted brown box.

“My only regret is I’m going to have to wait to see the results of this,” Luna mutters to herself, scribbling a name across the top of the box before sealing it up. Placing the box outside her door for pickup, the Vice-Principal sits back down at her desk. After a moment of thought, she reaches inside and pulls out another pack of glowing gum, this one already missing a stick. With a smile on her lips, she pops it into her mouth and begins to chew, her own whimpers joining those of her sister’s as the magic takes hold of her again, filling her mouth and keeping it busy in the most delightful and wonderful way.

“They’re at it again,” Cloudchaser groans as she walks into the office. A helpless cry of satisfaction erupts from Celestia’s office. As it recedes to a mess of quiet moans, the upbeat girl rolls her eyes and glances back to her sister. “Do they ever stop?”

“Not that I’ve heard,” Flitter smiles, kneeling down and picking up the box in front of Luna’s door. “This is what she told us to take though. She said it was pretty fragile.”

“Yeah?” the girl with the windswept hair reaches out and tries to take the box. “Well let’s give it a shake and see what it sounds like.”

“What? No! What are you, eight?”

“Sheesh, lighten up Flit; you’re going to grow up to be a real stick in the mud if you keep this up.”

“I-I am not a stick in the mud!”

“Sure you aren’t. Where’s it going?”

Flitter turns the package around in her hands and scowls. “Harshwhinny.” At the mention of the dreaded teacher’s name, Cloudchaser’s lip curls.

“Ugh, well let’s make it quick then. I don’t want to get another lecture about how I’m not maintaining a ‘professional’ appearance.”

Flitter giggles, watching as her sister leaves the office without a second thought. She takes a step to follow, but can’t help glancing back over her shoulder as particularly loud moan escapes Luna’s office. “Lucky bimbos,” she mutters, her face flushing red as she clenches her legs together, “I wish my life was that easy.”

As she turns to leave, she catches sight of a pack of gum lingering out on the desk with only one piece left. Boring! CC called her boring! Her sister’s condemnation of her boring personality still ringing in her ears, she bites her lip and reaches out over the table. The pack fits comfortably into her palm, and as she grabs it she feels an unexpected surge of energy.

Flying out of the room with the package under one arm and the other raised over her head, Flitter waves the gum and grins at her twin. “Hey, CC! Let’s split this, okay?”