Alp Adventures - Chapter 2

	"Wake up sleepyhead." A voice whispers to me in my sleep. I let out a groan and mumble in response "Nnngh 10 more minutes." After which I roll over and cover my head up in the blanket. "Nope. It's time to get up." Voicing another irritated groan I reluctantly uncover my head and look over towards the other person, seeing the smiling, scruffy face of my childhood friend.
	"....GAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!" I let out a scream and sit up in the bed, waking up from the nightmare in wide-eyed horror. I quickly look around the unfamiliar, and thankfully empty, room and shudder at the thought of the dream I was having moments prior. "Unclean...UNCLEEEEEAAANN!" I shake my head furiously in an attempt to banish the memory from my mind. After a moments respite I take the time to look around and take in my current surroundings. It looks to be almost like a fancy, high dollar room at an inn completely furnished with expensive looking furniture.
	I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes in thought. Where the hell am I and how did I get here? And where is my jackass of a friend? Such questions swirl through my mind while looking around the room before my eyes settle on what looks like some kind of welcome basket of assorted fruits and snacks. "Ooo free food." I hop off the bed and and head to the colorful basket sitting on the center of a table, picking up a large card next to it. "Let's see...Welcome and congratulations on your new life as a domesticated animal/semen dispenser! We're sure you have many questions. Not to worry, they'll be answered in due time. But until such time, please enjoy this complimentary basket of Cheetos, Slim Jims, Sunny D, and potatoes. P.S. Humans like potatoes, right? P.P.S. You guys went out, like, super easy. Didn't you see the signs saying you were in a level 20 zone? You guys can't be any higher than 5. El-oh-el. Semicolon parenthesis."
	"Haaah..." now I remember. We were ambushed out on the road. Maybe that succubus slipped something into our food at the time? I guess it doesn't matter much right now. After taking a seat at the table I open up a bottle of Sunny D and a Slim Jim, taking an overly dramatic bite "Ohhh yeeeeah!" No sense letting the food go to waste. And since I'm already captured, there doesn't seem much reason to do anything to it. Although it does taste a little funny. Oh well. No need to dwell on it too much. Not like it's foreshadowing something. Nope.
	I suppose my companion is probably going through the same thing as me. I'm so going to give him an earful about this later. While I'm pondering over whether to call my companion a dick-nosed boll weevil or a slug-brained cockmongler when I see him, a knocking on the door echos through the room. Before I can say anything, the door is opened and in steps a rather stern looking bespectacled succubus decked out in a full maid outfit with a clipboard. She looks me over with a calculating stare and scribbles onto her paper. I'm starting to feel like a kid late for school and being criticized by a substitute teacher. Just as I'm about to try and break the awkward silence, she beats me to the punch. "It's time for your orientation." I'm left with a distinct feeling that today is going to be long.