The Guide to Affection

Hug - When two people embrace, in admiration of each other. The most basic form of affection. Mainly practiced by all humans.

The term was invented by Riley O' Huggerson, in the early 1700's, when he would go out binge drinking. Since jackets were not invented yet and sweaters were still in prototype phase by armies, to go out into the snow after getting wasted, he would embrace the person closest to him and use them as a shield from the snow. Locals would recount stories later of when they got "Hugged".


Cuddle - When two individuals hug more intimately and rub against each other to show extra affection. See also: Spooning, Tandem Hugging, Sexual Intercourse.

Cuddling was accidentally discovered by Albert Einstein when attempting to make his own hair gel. Due to an imbalance of sugar, spice, and everything nice, when his gel was applied to two individuals within fifty feet of each other, the two would suddenly be attracted to one another, and feel a harsh burning sensation when not embracing and rubbing against each other. After finding out about the gel, the government promptly made it illegal, and is now only found through the black market, sometimes using the pseudonym "KY Jelly". The most recent widespread usage of this drug was during the Bill Clinton presidency.

Nuzzle - The rubbing of the nose or face to show fondness for another person. Usually accompanied by the closing of eyes, purring and/or whispering.

Despite its popularity, little is still know about nuzzling. It was first documented in society by Robert Nüzzlé, who noticed his family subconsciously start putting items to their faces and rubbing against them. On questioning them about it, they all replied "it just feels right". The ability to nuzzle may be airborne, since shortly after WWI, more and more people were born nuzzling things; pillows, freshly washed sheets, even their peers and significant others. One popular theory is that of the Greek God, Nuzzliah, the brother of Zeus. Where Zeus ruled with power, Nuzzliah preferred to command with emotions, often making fields of soldiers drop their weapons and nuzzle one another, while also having pillow fights. The Gods removed Nuzzliah from history and cast him down as a human, who later became known as Edgar Allen Poe.

Snuggle - A combination of cuddling and nuzzling. The most popular way of showing affection.

"Thou shall snuggle, as well as accept others for who they are, be nice, and care for the weak and less fortunate; There art not a reason to squabble and hate, for the ones who squabble and hate shall be known as the hated. Heed these words, and offer your scrubby washy thingies to The Unclean." -Wispy 19:20-24

Wuzzle - The secret technique of -redacted-.

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