Unpleasant: Do you have a superiority complex?
Exorcism: It's like this. I am a Dominant figure. I naturally am. I speak with confidence and a stern tone. Because if I let myself show weakness, it is a gateway for others to manipulate me which was a result of being manipulated and abused, myself. Do I feed off of being superior to others? No. But when I know I am right now matter how it comes out of my lips, I know that I am right. And if I genuinely fuck up, and it's all my fault. I own it. I own it like it's a gold medal. I also have the outlook of apologizing that people tend to dislike. Why say sorry to someone to make them happier or feel better but if you meant what you said? Or why say sorry for certain actions you take back? Actions and words cannot be reversed, you see. I think about everything I do or say before it happens. So with that being in place, I wont really say sorry too much for the things I already thought about and did or said because I knew the possible outcomes. There would simply be no point at all to think it, do it, and apologize later. Because I'd knew better before.
Exorcism: MY concluding statement would be that, well. IF I think you are being ignorant. Ignorant meaning not knowing. Then I will educate you.
Exorcism: And because I do it with a stern tone, and my typing is quite bland. People can take me very harshly.
Unpleasant: I think it's saddening that we live in a society where speaking one's mind is considered to be "dominant" it's like people have truly lost the plot at some point.
Unpleasant: Also, a lot of people will pretend to be capable of owning up to mistakes, but they really are capable of such when it comes down to it.
Exorcism: The human mind is quite fascinating. Different perceptions. Outlooks on life. No one really agrees with everyone. I've accepted that.
Unpleasant: It's called being opinionated/straightforward/strong minded, I don't really see the necessity for that other term, but I'm just nitpicking.
Exorcism: And that's perfectly fine.
Unpleasant: It's like saying someone who enjoys being a bottom is unable to speak their mind, you know? It seems very, very silly.
Exorcism: I enjoy being a bottom as well.
Unpleasant: You really do seem as if you wish to get my approval or something though, the way you bring up all of your actions and qualities. Yet you completely skip over all the shit you've done, just as any other human being would do.
Unpleasant: It comes across as slightly dishonest.
Exorcism: No offense, to you. But I don't care about who goes and who stays. I appreciate the ones who stay, but if you don't, that is on you.
Unpleasant: I've always prefered being told the bad things people have done, rather than the good. You can tell a lot about a person from the crap they've done.
Exorcism: Oh, well. I mean. I'd admit the wrongs that I've done. But in what wrongs do you mean?
Exorcism: About my life in general?
Exorcism: Because that's the things I tell people when they trust me and see me as the good person I know I am.
Exorcism: Because they take the time to observe me. Hear me.
Exorcism: Witness my actions.
Unpleasant: Well, who goes and who stays is perhaps the wrong way to put it in this case, as I won't be necessarily be leaving or staying regardless,
Unpleasant: It sounds like you pack a ton of secrets.
Unpleasant: You have no problem letting people know all of your qualities, while completely skipping over your flaws.
Exorcism: who doesn't?
Exorcism: I have flaws. Who doesn't?
Unpleasant: So it seems as if you're trying to seduce people into believing you're this otherworldly being, and you won't tell them your flaws until you've earned their biased opinion, you know?
Unpleasant: That's not my point here.
Unpleasant: How exactly can you count on most people who've known you for a little while to be honest to you about who you are? It's a quality many people lack.
Exorcism: I don't hardly trust anyone with the things that they could easily trash me with. People tend to do those things, now. I wont just open my book to someone who comes off as seeming to perceive me as an attention seeker, and basically a liar.
Unpleasant: I do have to make it clear though. I have at no point called you an attention seeker, or a liar.
Exorcism: You can't expect me to just tell you the things I have done in my life and the lies I have told once upon a time just to get you to accept me or like me, or believe me.
Unpleasant: But I'd be a fool for it to not cross mymind.
Exorcism: That's told when mutual trust and respect is formed.
Exorcism: In which I do not know you.
Unpleasant: Whether I like you or not really doesn't have an effect/affect on anything. I don't involve myself with people I have a disliking towards, so you wouldn't even notice me if that were to be the case, I don't do drama. I'm just a little sick of bullshit.
Unpleasant: And that's my point.
Exorcism: If anyone wants bullshit in their life, they are twisted.
Unpleasant: Isn't it funny how you'll tell people you don't know how great you are, and how jealous people are of you? Yet you won't mention a single flaw.
Unpleasant: Don't you understand how that comes off as dishonest?
Unpleasant: You know, people brag or compliment themselves all the time.
Unpleasant: It's a common thing for people to do that. I'm saying people as in " Everybody, or the 99% "
Unpleasant: Whether or not you're an honest and legitimatly fantastic person, I will most likely never know. And that's the way it should be. You should always be questioning and curious about people.
Unpleasant: If you let your guard down, you become biased and as a result of that, you become a fool.
Exorcism: No. I don't. And this is where I defend myself and stand up for what I know is a lot more safe. I don't know you, or even your name. I'm a great person. I take care of myself. I love myself. I will stand up for what I know is to be right. I give exactly what I am given. I will not share my life stories and waste my time. I will not share my flaws and negative doings when it is to prove a point to someone I will never really contact daily or even physically see.
Exorcism: You can not hardly trust a soul these days.
Exorcism: I have done some fucked up shit.
Exorcism: I know how to be malicious, manipulative, and I used to love reverse psychology.
Exorcism: I'm a woman and have bettered myself.
Unpleasant: I do find it peculiar though, that you keep bringing up this part about not knowing me, and not wanting to share life stories and all that crap, when that's what you've basically been doing.
Unpleasant: Listen, I have nothing against you, please don't believe I do.
Unpleasant: I'm just keeping my options open.
Exorcism: The good parts are not something that can be held over me.
Exorcism: Because it seems when I try and do and say good things, the negative comes out.
Exorcism: For example,
Exorcism: I used to smoke and drink. I quit both. I don't lay a hand on any of it. And now, I think the shit is toxic. I did it, I learned, and I hate it. I will not slander others for doing it. Unless they're someone I know personally and they screw their life up when it was preventable.
Exorcism: I say that though, I say it's toxic. Then they say, "Well you used to do it."
Exorcism: If you're catching my drift.
Unpleasant: Absolutely, because people have a very easy time feeling judged.
Unpleasant: As do you, that's why you most likely hide your flaws.
Unpleasant: They don't get the idea of "Caitlyn " they think you're another person who's just there to judge, instead of educate.
Unpleasant: Which is a shame, considering you smoked as well.
Unpleasant: It's a matter of perception, they don't view you as someone who stopped because it was toxic, they view you as someone who thinks you're better than them, despite having done the same thing.
Exorcism: When you do things that're unhealthy and bad habits, you don't care of the consequences. But when you step back and you stop it, and see other people destroying themselves? You think of how people looked at you. And you grow to care about their wellbeing, and it angers you when they do not care to listen.
Exorcism: I never had anyone tell me to stop it.
Unpleasant: And that's one of the reasons why people can be difficult. You're either an ass kisser or an asshole.
Exorcism: I'd rather be an asshole, then.
Unpleasant: I'm using the term "Asshole" loosely here, because it doesn't actually make you an asshole. It's just what most people in society will perceive you as.
Exorcism: I agree.
Exorcism: All I can really say is,
Exorcism: Take the time to sit down with me, talk to me, share views on other things besides matters like these. Mutual respect and trust is earned and takes time. And if you aren't interested, well, how I really am, will never be truly known. However I do like getting to know new people and you seem like quite an educated soul. Again, try to see it all for yourself.
Exorcism: You saw me arguing. That was your first true impression. I don't really like to argue. It certainly doesn't feel delightful.
Unpleasant: There'll be plenty of time for that, we do visit the same room after all. No rush.
Exorcism: Very well then.