SillyBlaze

Blazesurrender
The fact that I cannot allow myself to believe that I am anything better than a neutral character.
3:09:33 PM@DrJenWatney
You can choose to believe anything you want.
3:09:48 PMBlazesurrender
I appreciate that
3:10:30 PMAmy_Penn
And your belief shouldn't challenge her world view. I mean, even if you don't believe you're a good person, doesn't make it automatically true for her.
3:12:44 PMBlazesurrender
She believed that everyone has their self-justifications for their actions
3:13:00 PMAmy_Penn
She's right.
3:13:09 PMBlazesurrender
I have challenged that belief because I do not try to justify the shit I've done.
3:13:21 PMAmy_Penn
In not trying, you already do, grasshopper.
3:13:48 PM
→ LegionTheGeth has joined
3:14:01 PMLegionTheGeth
Hola
3:14:08 PM
→ renejade has joined
3:14:11 PMBlazesurrender
I'm confused Amy_Penn
3:14:17 PMAmy_Penn
You believe your actions are caused by being a bad person, with no justification, so in a sense, your person is the justification for your actions.
3:14:45 PM
You're basically saying "I have no reason for doing them. There is no justification." but by saying that, you're basically saying "There's no reason *I can think of.*"
3:14:50 PM
Making the inherent reason
3:14:53 PM
"you".
3:15:10 PMCharro
brb, class change
3:15:11 PMAmy_Penn
You've basically thought yourself into a corner where you can and always will be the bad guy.
3:15:32 PM
While there are some PERFECTLY VALID justifications for your actions.
3:16:01 PM
But your search for punishment has removed all possible redemption.
3:16:02 PM
Which
3:16:03 PM
frankly
3:16:05 PM
is dumb.
3:16:15 PM
You're a great human being, and a wonderful person.
3:16:33 PM
You're also very busy with punishing yourself by refusing to try to heal yourself.
3:16:47 PM
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3:16:56 PMAmy_Penn
Which hurts you - which you think you deserve, but also hurts sam, pushing her away - which you also think you deserve.
3:16:58 PM
Again.
3:17:07 PM
I disagree with this.
3:17:21 PMBlazesurrender
So does Sam
3:17:32 PM
Which is why it broke her
3:17:43 PM
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3:17:44 PMAmy_Penn
The number one question you need to answer, babe, is if you love punishing yourself more than you love Sam.
3:18:11 PMBlazesurrender
Sometimes.
3:18:23 PMAmy_Penn
Nonono
3:18:27 PM
this is a yes or no question
3:19:41 PMAmy_Penn
If yes, let her go. If no, accept outside help. You're going to have to decide.
3:20:00 PMBlazesurrender
She won't let me let her go.
3:20:25 PMAmy_Penn
In that case, listen to your smart girlfriend
3:20:34 PM
And pick the right option
3:20:35 PM
heal
3:20:39 PM
Accept help
3:20:46 PM
Stop punishing yourself.
3:20:47 PMDetectiveChellick
She know's what's right i think
3:20:50 PMAmy_Penn
Yeah.
3:20:51 PMDetectiveChellick
She wants to help you
3:20:55 PMAmy_Penn
Better than you do.