Sanic the Hedgeknight

The sun shines a bright gold in the blue skies of South Island. The palm trees waver in the strong breeze, and colorful foliage complements the vibrant grass. Frolicking mamono populate the forest with running, jumping, chasing and giddy laughter. There hasn't been a finer day in the entire summer.

Sanic the Hedge-knight, donning only a tan tunic set, a blue scarf, and bright red greaves, begins his day by settling in the cozy embrace of a hemp hammock suspended between two palmtrees by the beachside. A blunt is nuzzled between his fingers, and a relaxed smile rests on his face.

"Ahh..." He muses, staring up at the clouds. "What a beautiful day, way past cool! Only thing that could make it better is a chilidog and a Sunny D! Gotta have my nutrition!" He says, cracking a cheesy grin as the wind ruffles his long, spiky cobalt-blue hair.

Suddenly, a loud whir begins to pick up in the distant breeze. Sanic's vision is filled with an armada of automatons! Their wings buzz rapidly, their chrome bodies flash in the sunlight, and their shadows swallow the forest.

He's caught in disbelief as they dive through the trees and use long, mechanical tendrils to grab the various inhabitants of South Island. Screams and exaggerated exclamations fill the buzzing air as the automatons begin to fill the holes of their captives and bondage them, zooming off through the forest once securing their prey.

"Woah! Robots!?" Sanic exclaims, "That can only mean one thing-" Before his verbal thought can be complete, the hammock is ripped out from beneath him by a precise claw- another savagely taking his blunt and bringing it to a vaguely familiar girl's mouth.

"Ohoho! One thing indeed! I'll be taking THAT, Sanic!" A chubby gremlin exclaims. The girl is dressed in a red, yellow, and black jumpsuit home to bright white accents and matching gloves. She features brown hair and a signaturely long nose situated between two rosy cheeks.

She reaches a hand up toward her dark pince-nez sunglasses, adjusting them with a sheen of the lighting and a bright grin. "And the rest of the forest too!"

Sanic scoffs in unpleasant surprise, a grim grin on his face while he rights himself. "Oh great, long time no see, flatty mc no-breasts!" He quips, brushing off his tunic.

"Bah!" She calls from her floating egg-chair, throwing a hand about. "My breasts are only miniscule in comparison to my vast intelligence, you vapid, doped-up paladumb!"

Sanic suddenly stops downing an immense amount of Sunny-D and spits the last few drops, her insult surprising him. "Woah! Now that's no good! I'm a Hedge-knight, not a paladin!"

"Hah! Hedge-knight, Smedge-knight, Sanic! I, Doctor Iva Robotnip, have captured all of your forest friends for my greatest plan yet!" She begins, rubbing her hands together beneath her immense smile. "I'll use my robodildos to collect their glorious mamono mana as fuel for my automaton army, and then, I'll steal the /chaos/ emeralds, and build ROBOTNIPOLIS! THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD, RULED BY THE GREATEST SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD, ME! ROBOTNIP!" She cackles with her hands high above her. "MUAHAHA- YEOUCH!"

Mid-evil-moment, Robotnip squeaks due to an empty bottle of Sunny-D impacting the side of her head. She adorably grabs her ears and rubs the spot while wincing both her eyes and jaw. She eases the pain with the motions, whimpering and raising her fist to shake at Sanic. "Curse you, paladin! I'll be coming back to take you as my personal slave- after I've dealt with your friends." The engines of her eggy chair boot up with a flare, ascending her high above the treeline. "Muahahah!!" She finishes, her voice fading with her journey into the distance.

"Oh no! I'd better keep up and save my friends!" Sanic says, scooping up another Sunny-D and diving through the forest at ludicrous speeds, hopping on automatons to free his friends every step of the way.

STAGE 1

As Robotnip comes into view, Sanic turns his heels to the side, gathering a mound of dirt in his stopping power. He shakes off his greaves and takes another hefty sip of his drink, staggering toward her. "Robotnip! Where are my friends? Let them go!"

Robotnip swivels around in her chair, hand-deep into a little baggy of doritos. "Ahahah! Your friends are resting comfortably in their cages, powering my glorious new machine! Soon, the foundation for my city will be lain!" She explains, shoveling more chips in her mouth, bloating up her pudgy cheeks and gnawing obnoxiously.

"No way! That ain't happenin'!" Sanic shakes his head and swipes his hand toward the side.

"Oh? Sounds like you want to be the first test-subject for my new machine..." Suddenly, the underneath of her chair is scooped up by a large six-wheeled tank of immaculate, futuristic chrome design. Joysticks pop out from just behind her windshield and she takes hold, dropping the nose cone of the terrifying machination. "BEHOLD, THE BOOTY-BRUTALIZER!"

A massive, inhumanly-sized onyx dildo suddenly emerges from the front of the machine. Then, it rockets back and forth with intense speed and power, the whole cart that houses it rattling with huffs of smoke from every curved exhaust.

"Woah! What in the world are you planning to do with that!?" Sanic spouts, clutching his fist to his chest and cringing.

"Simple! I'll bang mother-earth herself until all the hills are flat, and my city is ready to be built! Muahahah! But first, to rid of the paladin nusiance!"

Robotnip approaches Sanic with the machine, the threatening end fencing him further into the forest. Her laughter fills the air as she jams the dildo forward with all its horsepower, plunging it deep into the ground just beneath Sanic's jump.

He clings to one of the veiny protrusions on the metallic, phallic jackhammer. "Hah! You're too slow!"

"Aghhhh!" Robotnip screams, pulling back on the controls with all her might. Unfortunately, the dislodging of the machine causes severe damage to the piston. Puffs of smoke fly from the pipes and Sanic is sent flying forward straight into her windshield. The glass shatters, and Robotnip gets a face-full of red boot.

Her controls begin to spark and huff smoke the moment after Sanic jumps from them to the safety of the forest floor. She waves away the exhaust with a few coughs, leaving Sanic time to deliver some words of wisdom. He holds up a finger and glances over his shoulder. "Looks like your plan went up in smoke, Robotnip!"

Iva Robotnip wildly clears the smoke and broken bits from her dashboard, dislodging her egg-chair from the trashed machine. "No! Curse you, Sanic! You, you, DOUBLE-DINGUS! This is merely a setback! Nng, he's not going to get away with this~!" She mutters to herself, the sputtering and smoking chair soaring off into the skies again.

From the wreckage of the machine, numerous bee girls swarm away from an aphrodesiac-filled tank. Pipes and plungers pop from their holes with a sickening squelsh, and they can seldom manage to stumble back to their normal lives. Sanic gives them a cheesy thumbs up, though quickly sprints off. "I'll get you, Robotnip, just you wait!"

STAGE CLEAR! STAGE 2!

Having escaped and fixed the minor damage to her little mode of transportation, Dr. Robotnip sits with a big gulp of mountain dew in her freshly jury-rigged cockpit. "Curse that Sanic!" She mumbles, taking a sip and freeing herself of a small portion of the jumpsuit she wears, letting it hang just beneath her shoulders. "Always busting up my hard work, chasing me down... Ooh, I hate him! I hate him so much I just want to..." A furious flush comes to her face, washed away with another sip of carbonated drink and a scowl.

Suddenly, the familiar whoosh of 20th century physics fills the ambiance. Iva drops her soda and quickly leans over the broken dashboard. It's Sanic!

"Hah! Finally caught up with you, table-tits! Give me back the rest of my friends!" Sanic drops another empty litre of Sunny D and inspects his heel, placing his hands on his hips while giving Robotnip a stern stare.

"I-It's just a phase you monumental moron! And besides, your friends are too busy powering my many inventions! You'll see, Sanic. My ROBOTNIPOLIS will be glorious! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some trees to clear for the parking lots, using my mega-nasty, swiveling, superatomic- PINGAS PENDULUM! MUAHAHAH!"

A bay door opens beneath her seat, two large chrome morningstars falling on hydraulic chains. A lever is pulled, displaying their immense power as they begin to swing round and round. The floating chair even begins to gyrate in place from the centripetal force!

"Woah! Getting through those is going to take some serious nads!" Sanic muses thoughtfully.

"Serious indeed, Sanic the Hedge-knight! I'll capture you and put you with the rest of your friends on fuel-duty, that is... If you survive!" The vicious pair grow ever closer as Robotnip urges forth the controls, the spikes becoming a blur in their fast.

Sadly for Robotnip, Sanic is fastest. He times the backswing and vaults straight into the innuendous weapon, leaping off one of the spikes and seeming to slow time with his bravery. Robotnip releases the controls and stares slack-jawed in disbelief as he lands atop the dashboard, a quick strike of his foot on a red button releasing the metal testicles into a nearby tree like a bola.

Upon leaping down, the massive tree-trunk is severed by the weight and falls back on the chain, headed straight for Robotnip! Trying to move out of the way, the girl is bonked on the head and her chair goes down with a cartoonish 'flump!' "OW! OWOWOW!" She cries, rubbing her head as her chair escapes the rubble much worse for the wear.

"Sounds like your 'Pingas Pendulum' backfired and blew its load on you, Robotnip!" Sanic says with smug victory painted on his cheeky face.

Smoke is everywhere, and her coughs are rivaled in frequency only by her grunts of pain. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS ONE, SANIC! YOU'LL SEE!" She threatens, shaking her fist as she starts to ride off into the air- with Sanic following close behind from the ground.

STAGE CLEAR! STAGE 3! FINAL ACT!

"Nng, Sanic has managed to free most of my cattle! Things are getting desperate, I'll need to deal with that accursed paladin before I can finish my ROBOTNIPPLIS!" Iva strokes the back of her hand and hunches her back in her little machine, suddenly cracking a wild grin and holding up a finger. She turns her gaze onto nothing in particular and begins cackling. "Ohohoh! And I know JUST how to do it... I'll use my greatest invention yet! Ahahaha!"

Later, Sanic appears before Robotnip again with a sprinke of dust behind his heel, his body swiveled to bring himself to a grinding hault once more. He drops another bottle of Sunny D and begins panting, wiping the yellowed residue from his mouth on the back of his gauntlet. "ROBOTNIP!"

"SANIC!" She retorts, pressing her fingers together and kicking up her feet on the shattered dashboard of her egg-chair, which resides half-buried into the ground- possibly due to damage. "You've fallen right for my trap, butt-for-brains!" Quakes and quivers begin to fill the earth as the disheveled chair Robotnip is sitting upon shifts to make room for a massive mechanical arm, the white-painted glove snatching the earth and tearing the grass with its grip.

Sanic widens his eyes, taken aback by the apparent mecha-trap. "Woah no, this can't be good!" But there's no backing out now! Sanic can only watch- no matter how hard he mashes start, as the quakes grow larger and larger, nearly toppling him over were it not for his impeccably balanced arms. "Wooaah! Totally nauseous!"

The next arm surges from the earth, and the next, and the next, until four are accounted for and the area in which Robotnip sat is nothing more than a crater. A round and robust chassis lifts from the earth, the mechanical monstrosity made in her humanoid image- but much larger and much steelier. This invention is clearly stronger than all the rest, and worst of all, the glass window in the center reveals a daunting damsel in distress.

A young Inari with two tails is banging on the glass, several tendrils clinging to her nethers and dragging her back into a pit of other mamono powering the machine, all nearly drowning in a disgusting pink fluid. "Sanic! Sanic help!" she cries in a high-pitched voice, soon muffled by another tentacle.

"TAILS!" Sanic cries, extending a hand- as if somehow she could grab through space or something. "You monster, Robotnip! You're going too far with this one!" He glares fury at her, grinding his teeth.

"Oh boo-hoo~, Sanic's little fwend is cwying over a little anal~. Isn't that cute? Try and stop me, Sanic! You'll never pierce the hull, you won't even get close! My double-decker, four-armed, five-fingered, mister-FISTER will make sure of that!" She flexes the robotic hands of her robot with a dual-shock controller. High tech stuff!

Sanic clenches his fists at his sides, swallowing one last deposit of Sunny D from a flask on his hip before rolling his jaw and slipping into a marathon position. "Let's go, dorito-gremlin!"

With ultimate kid-friendly rock music running through his head, Sanic sprints toward Robotnip's machine with a purpose. Hands dive behind and beside him, barely missing thanks to quick reactions. Once all fingers are safely lodged in the dirt, he bounces up on the controls and once again sends sparks flying from the machine with a round-house kick of totally sick cutscene action!

A can of stray mountain dew topples in all the commotion and seeps deep into the controls, Robotnip's face going white with horror as alarm bells begin to sound in her cockpit. "AH! NO! WHY DON'T THEY SELL THEM WITH CAPS LIKE MONSTER ENERGYYYYYYyyyy!!!" Is the last thing that's heard as the arms burst off the robot and Iva is sent flying from the top of the machine, sliding through the dirt onto her back.

Her outfit is lewdly ruined, and mud serves as a sensible sensor on the 4kids version. She lay in a pile of parts and fumes, her hair done straight up like Goku with a few singed trails of smoke. Her eyes are dazed in different directions, her glasses are smashed, goggles too, and her mouth hangs open like a comatose downsyndrome sufferer.

Sanic runs up toward the glass container on the slumped, smoldering robot to free Tails and the rest of his friends. The monster girls, now freed from the tank, ride the spill of aphrodesiac back into the forest with a frolicking disposition. Tails, however, wraps her arms around Sanic's waist. "Bro!" She exclaims.

"Glad to see you're alright, lil' sis! But I gotta deal with Robotnip, so you head on home." He says, patting her on the head. **too lewd**

With a furious look on both their faces, Sanic approaches Robotnip. "Alright, time to get lost, washed-up washboard! Your reign of industrial, penis-envy terror is over!" He crosses his arms and taps his foot, soon raising a finger to shake and chide her with.

She wipes a bit of soot from her mouth and shakes free of the daze, sitting up nearly-nude in the wreckage of her clothing. "Nng, you were supposed to be MINE! ALL MINE! I cannot be denied by a filthy paladin!"

Sanic scoffs and turns his head, cracking another cheeky grin. "I told you, I'm not a paladin. I'm a Hedge-knight!"

"AGGH!" She screams in inarticulate rage, reaching into her ruined belt and drawing a massive, phallic object. Enduring through her grit teeth, she begins to push through her tight lips with the tip of the rod.

Sanic's jaw drops in complete disbelief and he begins to step away, covering his mouth in disgust and shielding his eyes. "Eugh! for nuts' sake, Robotnip, I'm right infront'a ya! Totally uncool!"

"Ahah~." She twists the object deeper inside of herself, a green light appearing once its hilted. "This won't be, the last you've... Seen of me, Sanic! Mmn..." Her kegels, powerful as they are, manage to activate what turns out to be one heck of a backup ride **:^)**. A huge blast of flaming jet surges forth from her crotch region, propelling her through the dirt and far into the air with only a vapor-trail in her wake, the girl squatting in cannon-ball formation far in the distance. "I'LL BE BAAAAACK~!!!"

Sanic stares up in now abject terror at the twinkle in the sky, his jaw slacked and eyes beyond recovery of what they've seen. **Pic related**

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